Well...it is officially 2020.....I'm 30..With 5 jobs and in grad school...and still desperately single.....
To be honest I was hoping to be able to update this blog one day with a link to a disgusting Instagram couples account with a picture of me and my future husband on a beach somewhere, but alas I'm beginning to think that is becoming less and less likely as the years trudge on. I oscillate between being okay with this and feeling like if I am still alone at 40 then I might just actually give up on trying to be with someone and just adopt a kid and a dog ad settle down with myself.
It is really funny how this blog has morphed throughout the years from me being worried that I would never be able to commit to now feeling like I might not ever be able to find someone who wants to commit to me. For a long time I have focused on the issues that other people had that made them not realistic for me to date, but I'm beginning to wonder if maybe it has just been me all along.
So in a weird act of contrition I think that I am going to make a list of all the reasons that someone might decide I was not a right fit for them.
1. I work WAAAAAAY to much. I have known that this was a problem for a while now that I have just never really wanted to address because work is one of the few things that I have that gives me a purpose. Also selfishly work is one of the few places that I feel like I get a genuine connection with people outside of my family. I'm not really sure what the best way to work on this is....I mean obviously I could just quit one or two or three of my jobs, but I really don't want to do that. Eventually, I will change this one...I swear.....I PROMISE....just not yet, don't make me.
2. I've really stopped caring about my physical appearance in the last year. I really need to find the inside of a gym again because this muffin top is not pretty or tasty.
3. I'm a slob....I mean I'm not dirty, but I am definitely not neat and tidy. I really don't know how so many of these homos are so type A and prim and proper. I'm a mess. I love being able to walk into the house and take my pants off and then pick them up the next morning before work.
4. I can be dismissive of small problems. The people that I work with are always chaotic and frequently in crisis so if I come home or we go out and I have to hear about how Becky at work snubbed you at the water cooler and how that was the worst part of your day then I will probably tell you to consider yourself lucky.
5. I can be arrogant and condescending. I try really hard to keep myself in check, but there are some days when I do feel like what I do is vitally important and act like I am the only person who can do it. I feel like gay dating in some way sets people up to act this way though. People are always looking for the boyfriend with the best husband resume right? The abs....check....the job....check....the money...check...the do-gooder insta attitude...check.....the sexual prowess of a porn star...check....and the list goes on. I have actually been on a date when someone went through a mental checklist with me before deciding to go on to the next activity. Trying to figure out how to create the perfect husband resume and not come off like an arrogant prick is still something I am in a regular struggle about.
6. My relationship with my family can be a bit much for people. This is definitely something that I don't think I can change and its not really something I am interested in changing so I will need to figure out some kind of work around for this. Or just get someone who can understand or appreciate my family connection.
7. I'm greedy. I want to have my cake and eat it too. I want a partner on my terms....when and how and as frequently as I can. I don't want terms to be dictated to me, but rather I want to be the one dictating the terms. I want the illustrious career, the blossoming academic reputation, and the 1950s Leave it to Beaver living situation.
8. I love to play devil's advocate. While I might be loyal to a fault outwardly, inwardly I will always pick the opposite side and just argue it out. I find this to be stimulating mental acrobatics, but many people just find it annoying and unnecessary.
9. I'm distrustful of anyone that likes or compliments me. The minute someone starts to show interest I assume there is some kind of ulterior motive. They want something from me or are trying to hook up with one of my friends. I also tend to keep interested men at arms length because when people like me I assume it is only a matter of time until they break up with me.
10. I'm a furnace when I sleep and I very rarely turn the heat on in my house. This is strange for some, but I love my house being a bit chilly. I would much rather put on a sweater or two or bake cookies in the oven than turn the heat on. I could probably compromise about this if ever given the opportunity honestly.
I think I'll stop at ten otherwise I'm not sure I will ever stop. I have a few stories I am going to try and write and get up in the next few weeks. I am going to the Berkshires and then I will be in Hawaii, so I am hoping for a little time to decompress.
Until next time!
Tchau...
Showing posts with label Boston gays. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Boston gays. Show all posts
Saturday, February 15, 2020
Thursday, February 16, 2017
Mounting Insecurities
Shortly after restarting this blog I met someone online. He is everything I have always thought I wanted. Tall, handsome, friendly, ambitious, a total Hufflepuff, sexual chemistry, a GRE level vocabulary...he is essentially the hot gay nerd. I struck gold. We have been on three amazing dates, he has slept over twice, he met my roommate. I have gushed about him to my friends and coworkers. But for some reason this week I got this sinking pit in my stomach that I shouldn't get too attached. I hadn't thought once about jumping ship and then this week it hit me that I was nervous about what was going to happen next. There is some part of me that is petrified that what happened with Othello is going to happen here. I have been protecting him from the blog, because usually by the time I write a post about people that means they are not long for my dating world. I realized tonight that was ridiculous. Tonight is the first night that I have sent him a text message and he hasn't responded. I know that's stupid, and I know I'm being ridiculous and that this might mean nothing, but in my experience this is the beginning of the end.
By the third date the charm of dating someone who works as much as I do for my patients who have nothing has worn off and you want someone who can devote more time to you. By the end of the third date, you're sick of my swearing sailor mouth and want someone who can just chill and be cool. By the end of the third date you realize my life is really a fucking shit show and I am rarely in charge of what I am doing from one second to the next. By the end of the third date you realize that my room is always messy and I really don't care much about my appearance. By the end of the third date you realize my taste in everything from clothing to music isn't eclectic its just fucking weird and you are over it. By the end of the third date you realize I really am not that nice of a person and that the reason I have my jobs is to give me some chance of not going directly to hell. By the end of the third date you realize that I am more trouble than I'm worth and it would be way easier to get some Grindr slut to suck you off. By the end of the third date you realize that until you have a conversation with me about where we are in terms of dating I will assume that the buck stops there. By the end of the third date if I am still interested I have already become the clingy, annoying, and desperate boy that no one really wants to date.
So here I sit....several days after the end of the third date....and all I face are mounting insecurities about things that I have said, actions I have taken, and text messages I have and have not sent since we started dating.......waiting patiently to hear the chime from my phone indicating a text rather than the depressing trill of some horny Grindr queen.
By the third date the charm of dating someone who works as much as I do for my patients who have nothing has worn off and you want someone who can devote more time to you. By the end of the third date, you're sick of my swearing sailor mouth and want someone who can just chill and be cool. By the end of the third date you realize my life is really a fucking shit show and I am rarely in charge of what I am doing from one second to the next. By the end of the third date you realize that my room is always messy and I really don't care much about my appearance. By the end of the third date you realize my taste in everything from clothing to music isn't eclectic its just fucking weird and you are over it. By the end of the third date you realize I really am not that nice of a person and that the reason I have my jobs is to give me some chance of not going directly to hell. By the end of the third date you realize that I am more trouble than I'm worth and it would be way easier to get some Grindr slut to suck you off. By the end of the third date you realize that until you have a conversation with me about where we are in terms of dating I will assume that the buck stops there. By the end of the third date if I am still interested I have already become the clingy, annoying, and desperate boy that no one really wants to date.
So here I sit....several days after the end of the third date....and all I face are mounting insecurities about things that I have said, actions I have taken, and text messages I have and have not sent since we started dating.......waiting patiently to hear the chime from my phone indicating a text rather than the depressing trill of some horny Grindr queen.
Saturday, January 14, 2017
Post Date Anxiety
I have been actively dating and looking for a long term relationship in Boston for going on 6 years, give or take. I have been on literally hundreds of dates. Some of the dates were total trainwrecks, others were as exciting as watching paint dry, some were good, and a select few were fucking amazing. No matter how many dates I go on, or how much fun I actually had on the date, there is one thing that always happens; post-date anxiety.
For the first 2-3 hours post date I am filled with the anxiety that I think most people probably experience prior to their date. Did he like me? Why did I say that? What did he mean by that? Fuck, I'm an idiot. Will he call? Should I call him? Do I want him to call me? What would my mother say? What would my fag hag think? It is a series of endless questions that can be easily assuaged by a simple text from the other person. A yay or nay, a thumbs up or a thumbs down.
What's odd is that I don't have any of these anxieties prior to the date. I'm not nervous. I don't worry about what I'm wearing or how my hair looks. I simply go with the thought, "This is me....fuck it I can't do anything about it." Somewhere between meeting my date and spending some time with them I go from "fuck it" to "God I hope he liked me". Even on bad dates, I want the other guy to like me. I don't ever want to be the guy someone tells his friends about as the worst date of their life.
If I liked the guy and it was what I would consider a good date, then "God I hope he liked me" quickly divests into a series of insecurities about how I look, my physicality, my clothing choices, my word choices, what I ordered, and my choice of body language as we said goodbye (i.e. why did I hug him, a fist bump what the fuck were you thinking).
I'm not sure if I will ever really get over this. Its a product of my own self esteem I think. When left to my own devices I am able to convince myself that I have my shit together, but the minute I compare myself to anything in the outside world I rapidly feel inadequate and unaccomplished. Further fueling my inadequacies is my desire to be with someone that might actually give a shit about me.
I often profess how comfortable I am being alone and single, and more often than not, that confession is a complete fallacy. I worry about being alone forever. I am concerned that I might never get the family I want. I fret that I will have no one to share my professional accomplishments with when I come home. I brood about what adulthood would be like if the only men in my life were Ben and Jerry and Jose. I agonize over wanting the American dream and being satisfied with an alternative version of it.
The one thing that I am grateful for about this post-date anxiety is that it never pervades my preparation for another date. If the post-date anxiety becomes too much then all I need do is schedule another date with someone else. It's kind of like having an eye opener to stave off a hangover. Probably not the best idea in the long run, but sometimes we all need the quick fix.
Later
Tchau!!
For the first 2-3 hours post date I am filled with the anxiety that I think most people probably experience prior to their date. Did he like me? Why did I say that? What did he mean by that? Fuck, I'm an idiot. Will he call? Should I call him? Do I want him to call me? What would my mother say? What would my fag hag think? It is a series of endless questions that can be easily assuaged by a simple text from the other person. A yay or nay, a thumbs up or a thumbs down.
What's odd is that I don't have any of these anxieties prior to the date. I'm not nervous. I don't worry about what I'm wearing or how my hair looks. I simply go with the thought, "This is me....fuck it I can't do anything about it." Somewhere between meeting my date and spending some time with them I go from "fuck it" to "God I hope he liked me". Even on bad dates, I want the other guy to like me. I don't ever want to be the guy someone tells his friends about as the worst date of their life.
If I liked the guy and it was what I would consider a good date, then "God I hope he liked me" quickly divests into a series of insecurities about how I look, my physicality, my clothing choices, my word choices, what I ordered, and my choice of body language as we said goodbye (i.e. why did I hug him, a fist bump what the fuck were you thinking).
I'm not sure if I will ever really get over this. Its a product of my own self esteem I think. When left to my own devices I am able to convince myself that I have my shit together, but the minute I compare myself to anything in the outside world I rapidly feel inadequate and unaccomplished. Further fueling my inadequacies is my desire to be with someone that might actually give a shit about me.
I often profess how comfortable I am being alone and single, and more often than not, that confession is a complete fallacy. I worry about being alone forever. I am concerned that I might never get the family I want. I fret that I will have no one to share my professional accomplishments with when I come home. I brood about what adulthood would be like if the only men in my life were Ben and Jerry and Jose. I agonize over wanting the American dream and being satisfied with an alternative version of it.
The one thing that I am grateful for about this post-date anxiety is that it never pervades my preparation for another date. If the post-date anxiety becomes too much then all I need do is schedule another date with someone else. It's kind of like having an eye opener to stave off a hangover. Probably not the best idea in the long run, but sometimes we all need the quick fix.
Later
Tchau!!
Tuesday, January 3, 2017
I'm Back
So my life got a little crazy for a bit and I stopped blogging. If truth be told, my computer died and it has literally taken me two years to buy a new one. I am a sick combination of cheap and lazy when it comes to myself and some of my personal choices in life.....which is probably why it is more than two years later and I am about to turn 27 tomorrow and I am still as single as when I first started this blog, oh so many years ago.
Prior to starting this blog I had worked for many years at honing my commitment phobe skills. I practiced diligently at being able to dodge almost every sign that a relationship would become serious. Recently a rather formative relationship came back to really confuse the hell out of me if truth be told.
One of the first guys that I dated while I was in college I actually met at a club that was 18+ with one of my friends. We dated for several months and I really liked him and he seemed to really like me. I am going to call him Diego for the purposes of this blog. Well Diego and I were going along swimmingly and then there was an incident. We were out walking his dog and these two little girls came over to pet it and their Mom yelled at them to "Leave they're dog alone"
In that moment something inside me woke up and just started screaming. I felt awful about it and that was when I think I first realized that I was a commitment phobe. I mean who gets upset that a stranger thought that two gay guys walking a dog would be a couple who owned the dog....I'm insane, or so I thought.
The other day at work I was going about my day as usual and went into the waiting room and called, "Paul" and who stood up but Diego. This has to be at least 6 years later, but I was sure that it was him. So sure in fact that I said, "Diego, sorry I called Paul." and in that moment he said, "yea its me" and followed me to have his vital signs taken. While I was taking his vital signs I tried to ask him if he remembered who I was and he simply looked at me and smiled the same stupid smile he had given me a million times before and said, "A lot of people think they know me, maybe we've met before" and with that kind of a response I simply put him in his room and notified his doctor of his arrival.
Then the freak out began. I just couldn't believe that there was Diego in my clinic. That there was Diego in my clinic and that he was seeing one of the more established HIV doctors. Then I had to enter the vitals in his chart and I saw that he has been HIV positive and tenuously in care since 2008.
Its sobering....
For years I thought that there was something wrong with me in that relationship and the truth was, I had been lied to for months. There wasn't anything true about the relationship at all, even the name I use to call him was different than the name in the hospital computer.
The other layer that I had to unpack is just how close I had come to being infected with HIV. I have since been tested many times and recently tested negative again (I went 1-2 days after Diego came to the clinic, I know that is crazy, but I needed to do it). I am on PrEP now which is a change since the last time I was writing on here. I have still never had sex without a condom something that I am forever more and more grateful for now.
I talk all the time in my lectures and in my job about how really anyone could become infected, but I think that deep down in some recesses of my brain I thought, 'Yea but probably not me' and this one person totally destroyed that thought in my brain.
The only good thing that came of Diego coming in to clinic to see his MD for the first time in over 1.5 years, I realize now that maybe I'm not a commitment phobe at all...maybe it isn't my own undoing. I think viscerally I knew that Diego had been lying to me. I think that some part of me always knew that there was something very wrong with our relationship, and in hindsight my gut was right. Truthfully, the whole thing was rather comforting to know that I wasn't wrong about him. In my mind if I was right about this, then I will most certainly be right about when I have found the perfect match.
So here's to hoping that 2017 shapes up to be an amazing year and that I don't join the 27 club...
Until next time...
Chau!
Prior to starting this blog I had worked for many years at honing my commitment phobe skills. I practiced diligently at being able to dodge almost every sign that a relationship would become serious. Recently a rather formative relationship came back to really confuse the hell out of me if truth be told.
One of the first guys that I dated while I was in college I actually met at a club that was 18+ with one of my friends. We dated for several months and I really liked him and he seemed to really like me. I am going to call him Diego for the purposes of this blog. Well Diego and I were going along swimmingly and then there was an incident. We were out walking his dog and these two little girls came over to pet it and their Mom yelled at them to "Leave they're dog alone"
In that moment something inside me woke up and just started screaming. I felt awful about it and that was when I think I first realized that I was a commitment phobe. I mean who gets upset that a stranger thought that two gay guys walking a dog would be a couple who owned the dog....I'm insane, or so I thought.
The other day at work I was going about my day as usual and went into the waiting room and called, "Paul" and who stood up but Diego. This has to be at least 6 years later, but I was sure that it was him. So sure in fact that I said, "Diego, sorry I called Paul." and in that moment he said, "yea its me" and followed me to have his vital signs taken. While I was taking his vital signs I tried to ask him if he remembered who I was and he simply looked at me and smiled the same stupid smile he had given me a million times before and said, "A lot of people think they know me, maybe we've met before" and with that kind of a response I simply put him in his room and notified his doctor of his arrival.
Then the freak out began. I just couldn't believe that there was Diego in my clinic. That there was Diego in my clinic and that he was seeing one of the more established HIV doctors. Then I had to enter the vitals in his chart and I saw that he has been HIV positive and tenuously in care since 2008.
Its sobering....
For years I thought that there was something wrong with me in that relationship and the truth was, I had been lied to for months. There wasn't anything true about the relationship at all, even the name I use to call him was different than the name in the hospital computer.
The other layer that I had to unpack is just how close I had come to being infected with HIV. I have since been tested many times and recently tested negative again (I went 1-2 days after Diego came to the clinic, I know that is crazy, but I needed to do it). I am on PrEP now which is a change since the last time I was writing on here. I have still never had sex without a condom something that I am forever more and more grateful for now.
I talk all the time in my lectures and in my job about how really anyone could become infected, but I think that deep down in some recesses of my brain I thought, 'Yea but probably not me' and this one person totally destroyed that thought in my brain.
The only good thing that came of Diego coming in to clinic to see his MD for the first time in over 1.5 years, I realize now that maybe I'm not a commitment phobe at all...maybe it isn't my own undoing. I think viscerally I knew that Diego had been lying to me. I think that some part of me always knew that there was something very wrong with our relationship, and in hindsight my gut was right. Truthfully, the whole thing was rather comforting to know that I wasn't wrong about him. In my mind if I was right about this, then I will most certainly be right about when I have found the perfect match.
So here's to hoping that 2017 shapes up to be an amazing year and that I don't join the 27 club...
Until next time...
Chau!
Monday, December 30, 2013
Almost 2,000 Views
Going into the year 2014...this little dating blog has almost 2,000 views....I wonder how many of them have been my mother pretending not to read???? HMMMmmmMMMMMmmm...It doesn't matter really...this is more for me anyways. Although wouldn't that be a kicker. I mean for your mother to find your sex and dating blog once is bad, but to find it twice...that would just be fucking ridiculous.
I should get back to the point though. I think I need to look at things differently in the year coming up in terms of my dating life. I have been focused on trying to kiss as many frogs as I can. I have some weird Disney version of love where once a person has gotten through their predetermined number of frogs their ethnically ambiguous prince will simply fall right into their lap. Part of me still thinks this is true. Not the kissing a bunch of frogs part, but the Prince Charming eventually just showing up in your life out of nowhere part. Or maybe I don't think its true so much as I really HOPE that it's true.
I went out the other night after I passed a really big certification test. I went alone to a gay club because I wanted to dance. I had no ulterior motive. I didn't want to get laid, I didn't want to kiss a boy, I really didn't even want to have to go out with my friends, I just wanted to dance. So I did. I got to the club, grabbed a drink, and found two random straight girls to dance with for most of the night.
Per usual I knew a lot of the guys in the club because I had tested them before, and they all gave me oddly familiar looks. A few (4 or 5) men approached me and inquired as to how much. Again, this is unfortunately typical part of going out to a gay club for me. I think it's something about being fresh meat and usually going with a straight girl or meeting other people there. After the straight girls left I did end up dancing with a guy (cute, black, and from Paris), we even made out, but at around 1am I decided it was time to go. I simply left the dance floor, paid my tab, and then took a cab home. I grabbed some shitty Chinese food, walked the rest of the way home, and watched some crappy late night TV as I clogged my arteries.
In all honesty, it was one of the BEST nights out I have had in a long time. I went to a gay club and there was no pressure. I watched all of the craziness around me and could just dance without having to worry about some closeted straight boy trying to hit on me. I can handle the people who think I'm a prostitute at this point (to be honest it's almost flattering if you think about it the right way).
This is going to be my approach to the new year. I am going to allow myself to go to the gay bars and clubs. Even if that means going to them alone. I go out a bit with my friends who are all straight and I like it, but sometimes its nice to know that there are other out gay people in the city of Boston.
I'm not going to get rid of my OKC profile, but I am going to go back to basics. No messaging anyone first. Keeping everything online and messaging until the other person grows the balls to actually ask me on a date. And I am going to have no expectations for the first date, only for those thereafter. I will have certain things that will be disqualifiers for a second date, like being out or actually being interesting.
And with that it is officially December 31st....only 23 more hours of the year 2013 and I am as single as the day that it started (moreso actually). Maybe 2014 is the year....maybe not....I guess only time will tell.....
Chau!!
I should get back to the point though. I think I need to look at things differently in the year coming up in terms of my dating life. I have been focused on trying to kiss as many frogs as I can. I have some weird Disney version of love where once a person has gotten through their predetermined number of frogs their ethnically ambiguous prince will simply fall right into their lap. Part of me still thinks this is true. Not the kissing a bunch of frogs part, but the Prince Charming eventually just showing up in your life out of nowhere part. Or maybe I don't think its true so much as I really HOPE that it's true.
I went out the other night after I passed a really big certification test. I went alone to a gay club because I wanted to dance. I had no ulterior motive. I didn't want to get laid, I didn't want to kiss a boy, I really didn't even want to have to go out with my friends, I just wanted to dance. So I did. I got to the club, grabbed a drink, and found two random straight girls to dance with for most of the night.
Per usual I knew a lot of the guys in the club because I had tested them before, and they all gave me oddly familiar looks. A few (4 or 5) men approached me and inquired as to how much. Again, this is unfortunately typical part of going out to a gay club for me. I think it's something about being fresh meat and usually going with a straight girl or meeting other people there. After the straight girls left I did end up dancing with a guy (cute, black, and from Paris), we even made out, but at around 1am I decided it was time to go. I simply left the dance floor, paid my tab, and then took a cab home. I grabbed some shitty Chinese food, walked the rest of the way home, and watched some crappy late night TV as I clogged my arteries.
In all honesty, it was one of the BEST nights out I have had in a long time. I went to a gay club and there was no pressure. I watched all of the craziness around me and could just dance without having to worry about some closeted straight boy trying to hit on me. I can handle the people who think I'm a prostitute at this point (to be honest it's almost flattering if you think about it the right way).
This is going to be my approach to the new year. I am going to allow myself to go to the gay bars and clubs. Even if that means going to them alone. I go out a bit with my friends who are all straight and I like it, but sometimes its nice to know that there are other out gay people in the city of Boston.
I'm not going to get rid of my OKC profile, but I am going to go back to basics. No messaging anyone first. Keeping everything online and messaging until the other person grows the balls to actually ask me on a date. And I am going to have no expectations for the first date, only for those thereafter. I will have certain things that will be disqualifiers for a second date, like being out or actually being interesting.
And with that it is officially December 31st....only 23 more hours of the year 2013 and I am as single as the day that it started (moreso actually). Maybe 2014 is the year....maybe not....I guess only time will tell.....
Chau!!
Friday, December 27, 2013
Crazy Magnet Part Deux
SO as I had told you all things with BRP were over. I had texted him and he seemed to accept everything really well. Then tonight....at about 2:30AM this motherfucker texts me "You clearly weren't that interested, which is cool, but I get it, I'm not your type."
Seriously at 2:30am on a Thursday/Friday after Christmas. I thought you were a grown up with a real job like me. I answered because I thought it might be a patient and then when I read it I couldn't just go back to sleep. I actually answered him. That's right I answered him and said that he actually was my type I just felt guilty I couldn't give him the time I thought he deserved.
As previously discussed here I didn't really feel that way, but I think its a lot better then saying...."on paper you are perfect, everything I've ever imagined my future husband would be, but for some reason there is no spark. I don't see fireworks when we kiss. I don't get lost in your eyes. I don't find myself helplessly checking you out every time you walk away from me." Am I crazy here? I mean I needed to be honest which is why I said we shouldn't see each other, but I don't want to hurt the guy's feelings either because the truth is he is perfect on paper and he is super nice.
The rest of the conversation progressed exactly as you would have imagined. But one thing distinctively caught my eye. In one of the texts he said, "I miss our sex...lol" Anybody remember where they have seen that before??? Maybe with Hickey? How crazy is that? I'm still floored, but it definitely just clued me in to the kind of craziness I am actually dealing with when I talk to this guy.
At around 3am when I realized this texting was going no where fast I even volunteered to let the guy come over to talk it out, which he thankfully denied. He did try to get me to see him tomorrow though. I, THANK GOD, have to work and study for an exam I am taking on Saturday.
I feel bad...the guy is perfect on paper but there is just something off about it....
The perfect example of that is this whole conversation we had tonight. A totally appropriate conversation to have had when I first told you I thought maybe it wasn't a great idea to see each other anymore. But you brought it up almost 2.5 weeks later at 2:30am undoubtedly after coming home drunk from a bar. It's just weird.
I digress....just needed to get that off my chest. I actually have two more updates but they're about people who aren't in the race anymore.
Until Next Time,
Chau!!
Seriously at 2:30am on a Thursday/Friday after Christmas. I thought you were a grown up with a real job like me. I answered because I thought it might be a patient and then when I read it I couldn't just go back to sleep. I actually answered him. That's right I answered him and said that he actually was my type I just felt guilty I couldn't give him the time I thought he deserved.
As previously discussed here I didn't really feel that way, but I think its a lot better then saying...."on paper you are perfect, everything I've ever imagined my future husband would be, but for some reason there is no spark. I don't see fireworks when we kiss. I don't get lost in your eyes. I don't find myself helplessly checking you out every time you walk away from me." Am I crazy here? I mean I needed to be honest which is why I said we shouldn't see each other, but I don't want to hurt the guy's feelings either because the truth is he is perfect on paper and he is super nice.
The rest of the conversation progressed exactly as you would have imagined. But one thing distinctively caught my eye. In one of the texts he said, "I miss our sex...lol" Anybody remember where they have seen that before??? Maybe with Hickey? How crazy is that? I'm still floored, but it definitely just clued me in to the kind of craziness I am actually dealing with when I talk to this guy.
At around 3am when I realized this texting was going no where fast I even volunteered to let the guy come over to talk it out, which he thankfully denied. He did try to get me to see him tomorrow though. I, THANK GOD, have to work and study for an exam I am taking on Saturday.
I feel bad...the guy is perfect on paper but there is just something off about it....
The perfect example of that is this whole conversation we had tonight. A totally appropriate conversation to have had when I first told you I thought maybe it wasn't a great idea to see each other anymore. But you brought it up almost 2.5 weeks later at 2:30am undoubtedly after coming home drunk from a bar. It's just weird.
I digress....just needed to get that off my chest. I actually have two more updates but they're about people who aren't in the race anymore.
Until Next Time,
Chau!!
Wednesday, October 2, 2013
Two Cups of Crazy and a Side of CuckooCachoo
Geri is no more.....Is anyone surprised???
Well here is the story for all of you so you can feel better about your own lives. After our first date Geri called me and was interested in seeing me again. The first date went so well I jumped at the opportunity. He wanted to me to come by on Sunday evening after his work shift for ice cream and a movie. At first I wasn't huge on the idea because I thought it seemed like I was going to become a booty call, but I eventually gave in and agreed. Then that night I got a call from Geri and he wanted to reschedule for Monday during the day because he didn't want me to get the wrong impression. He realized that a second date of me coming to his place at 11pm might give the wrong impression. I was ecstatic! I quickly agreed to the Monday date, because for once I had Monday off, and we threw around some ideas and settled on apple picking.
Monday came and I got a call bright and early but I couldn't really understand him over the phone, but we settled on a time so I started doing some stuff for my patients and then I was going to head over. On my way to his place I called once again to let him know I was on my way and again I kept misunderstanding him over the phone. When I got to his place it did not look exactly how I remembered. It was not a really pretty old Victorian home in Dorchester, but rather an older Victorian in need of refurbishment on the brink of the hood. But who am I to judge a book by its cover?
So I called him again and he told me he was going to meet me at the front door...and he hoped I didn't mind he was in his underwear. To be honest....I was definitely intrigued and then I saw the underwear he was wearing. A pair of old tighty whities with holes in them and a black wife beater with an almost equal number of holes. I want you all to have a good picture of this in your head....they weren't sexy you can see some of my ass or dick kind of holes...they were I live in a trailer and can't afford new underwear kind of holes. Again though I thought...no its fine I am going to let this go maybe it will be fine. I even ignored the fact that he was on the phone with someone else and didn't say hi so much as he nodded approval and started walking up the stairs.
When we finally got in his apartment he led me to the kitchen where he finally got off the phone and went in for a kiss. I sort of begrudgingly gave him one and I noticed some red stuff on his lips that I couldn't quite make out. Then as he continued talking I realized that he was slurring a little bit. Almost immediately after that he began making scrambled eggs and rice and I realized that he was stumbling a little bit and that his breath when I kissed him smelled of something familiar....Geri was drunk and it was only 11a on a Monday.
I tried to figure out if he was drunk and began asking some questions that sort of beat around the bush and before long Geri simply revealed..."I'm drunk from last night. I went out with a bunch of co-workers and then came home and got high with my roommates."
I was completely taken aback. It hit me as soon as he said it that the previous night was not about being respectful with me but more likely that he got a better offer with his co-workers. But again who am I to judge we had only been on one date and I suppose it was possible he had woken up drunk.
Then he offered me a Bloody Mary which I refused because it was too early. We finished breakfast and we began kissing again and ended up in his bedroom. I was hoping that he would sober up and then we would be able to go apple picking like we planned. Then mid-hooking up he left and went to the kitchen presumably to get a glass of water and came back with a half consumed Bloody Mary. I couldn't believe it. I was really turned off.
We started hooking up again despite my own issues and then I noticed a mole on his dick and I may have said something about the potential for HPV. He became indignant and made me inspect his penis in the light to see that it was in fact a mole. Then he became aggravated that I could not shut off my nurse hat for 3 minutes and stood up from bed. I thought the situation had gotten significantly awkward so I moved to put on some clothes and suavely make my exit. And I was informed rather gruffly that I should stay and he was going to have a cigarette and would be back. I then made a move to at least put my underwear on because I thought the hooking up portion of the day was over and was again rather curtly told..."Don't do that, we're adults we can disagree and I can have a cigarette and then we can get back to that."
I wasn't really sure what to do. I mean I didn't hate making out with him or fooling around but I definitely was getting less attracted to him as the time went on. So I stayed and we continued to hook up. He attempted to get me to cum....and I assured him that it wasn't going to happen, but he persevered and eventually after he came and left me to my own devices I was able to get off. He then threw me a towel and I cleaned off. Then he said that he needed to shower, because he hadn't yet that day, and that after that we should go apple picking.
My reservations were compounding as the minutes passed and I knew apple picking was going to take longer than I wanted. Meanwhile he was planning dinner and breakfast the next morning. I needed an alternative to apple picking and a way out. Both came to me rather quickly, fortunately I have been in these need to get away situations before and have some tried and true Get Out of Date Free Cards to play. Based on the lovely weather and the fact that we were in Dorchester I suggested that we go for a walk to Castle Island. Then I also threw out that my roommate was potentially breaking up with her boyfriend and I might need to go home to help her cope with the break up. That was when the wonderfully old man-isms started flying, "Should I call the WHAAAAMBULANCE for her?"
He did eventually agree that the beach might be a good idea but he expressed his disappointment with not being able to "chuck" apples at me. I chuckled despite the fact that I was less than unamused. It was requested that I go and sit on the porch while he showered so I didn't have to observe his getting ready ritual. I happily headed out to the porch where I was able to see one of Geri's cute neighbors washing his car. Then after about 25 minutes he came back onto the porch more intoxicated than he had been prior to his shower.
We headed out to the beach and I was shocked at how intoxicated he actually was. He was staggering walking next to me and to be honest I was surprised he could find his way to the beach. We stopped to grab coffee on the way to the beach because I thought that maybe some other liquid in his system would help, but I was completely embarrassed by the fact that he couldn't even stand in one spot without leaning on the counter.
When we finally arrived at the beach he had suggested I realized that it was the old Stab N' Kill where Whitey use to dump his bodies. Sitting along the beach a man walking a dog came by and knew Geri. They had what must have been a 5-10 minute conversation that was very flirty but never once was I introduced. The guy's dog actually paid more attention to me more than either Geri or the mystery man.
He finally left and Geri explained that the mystery man was his ex-boyfriend who broke his heart. He also told me that he had spent the night with him the day before our date. That was pretty much the final straw. I needed to get out of there so I faked a text message from my friend saying that she was on her way home and needed me and a bottle of wine. Then he told me on our walk home that my friend sounded like she was "Two Cups of Crazy and a Side of CuckooCachoo" and I couldn't help but think, Someone in this situation is but I'm not sure its my friend.
On the walk home we passed a home for the mentally disabled and he drunkenly slurred out, "Yea that's the retard house. I had a friend with Down Syndrome in high school, we use to give him so much shit." I was now completely horrified and I began walking with a purpose. When we got back to his car he said something to the effect of, "Well I will just have to get other dinner plans for tonight, maybe I will even fuck them." Then he went in for a final kiss. I tried to make it a peck and then his tongue invaded my mouth and I had no other choice. I got in my car without a single look back, put on Quittin' Time and sped home.
All of my roommates were there and we ordered four pizzas and put away a few beers and a bottle of wine while watching Moulin Rouge. Is there really more you could ask of roommates. SO for now I guess its back to the drawing board. I will carefully avoid calls and make sure he knows its over but I will not be going on another date.
For now I guess that is all I have to report. If anyone has any suggestions on places to find normal men I am an open book feel free to let me know.
Chau!!
Well here is the story for all of you so you can feel better about your own lives. After our first date Geri called me and was interested in seeing me again. The first date went so well I jumped at the opportunity. He wanted to me to come by on Sunday evening after his work shift for ice cream and a movie. At first I wasn't huge on the idea because I thought it seemed like I was going to become a booty call, but I eventually gave in and agreed. Then that night I got a call from Geri and he wanted to reschedule for Monday during the day because he didn't want me to get the wrong impression. He realized that a second date of me coming to his place at 11pm might give the wrong impression. I was ecstatic! I quickly agreed to the Monday date, because for once I had Monday off, and we threw around some ideas and settled on apple picking.
Monday came and I got a call bright and early but I couldn't really understand him over the phone, but we settled on a time so I started doing some stuff for my patients and then I was going to head over. On my way to his place I called once again to let him know I was on my way and again I kept misunderstanding him over the phone. When I got to his place it did not look exactly how I remembered. It was not a really pretty old Victorian home in Dorchester, but rather an older Victorian in need of refurbishment on the brink of the hood. But who am I to judge a book by its cover?
So I called him again and he told me he was going to meet me at the front door...and he hoped I didn't mind he was in his underwear. To be honest....I was definitely intrigued and then I saw the underwear he was wearing. A pair of old tighty whities with holes in them and a black wife beater with an almost equal number of holes. I want you all to have a good picture of this in your head....they weren't sexy you can see some of my ass or dick kind of holes...they were I live in a trailer and can't afford new underwear kind of holes. Again though I thought...no its fine I am going to let this go maybe it will be fine. I even ignored the fact that he was on the phone with someone else and didn't say hi so much as he nodded approval and started walking up the stairs.
When we finally got in his apartment he led me to the kitchen where he finally got off the phone and went in for a kiss. I sort of begrudgingly gave him one and I noticed some red stuff on his lips that I couldn't quite make out. Then as he continued talking I realized that he was slurring a little bit. Almost immediately after that he began making scrambled eggs and rice and I realized that he was stumbling a little bit and that his breath when I kissed him smelled of something familiar....Geri was drunk and it was only 11a on a Monday.
I tried to figure out if he was drunk and began asking some questions that sort of beat around the bush and before long Geri simply revealed..."I'm drunk from last night. I went out with a bunch of co-workers and then came home and got high with my roommates."
I was completely taken aback. It hit me as soon as he said it that the previous night was not about being respectful with me but more likely that he got a better offer with his co-workers. But again who am I to judge we had only been on one date and I suppose it was possible he had woken up drunk.
Then he offered me a Bloody Mary which I refused because it was too early. We finished breakfast and we began kissing again and ended up in his bedroom. I was hoping that he would sober up and then we would be able to go apple picking like we planned. Then mid-hooking up he left and went to the kitchen presumably to get a glass of water and came back with a half consumed Bloody Mary. I couldn't believe it. I was really turned off.
We started hooking up again despite my own issues and then I noticed a mole on his dick and I may have said something about the potential for HPV. He became indignant and made me inspect his penis in the light to see that it was in fact a mole. Then he became aggravated that I could not shut off my nurse hat for 3 minutes and stood up from bed. I thought the situation had gotten significantly awkward so I moved to put on some clothes and suavely make my exit. And I was informed rather gruffly that I should stay and he was going to have a cigarette and would be back. I then made a move to at least put my underwear on because I thought the hooking up portion of the day was over and was again rather curtly told..."Don't do that, we're adults we can disagree and I can have a cigarette and then we can get back to that."
I wasn't really sure what to do. I mean I didn't hate making out with him or fooling around but I definitely was getting less attracted to him as the time went on. So I stayed and we continued to hook up. He attempted to get me to cum....and I assured him that it wasn't going to happen, but he persevered and eventually after he came and left me to my own devices I was able to get off. He then threw me a towel and I cleaned off. Then he said that he needed to shower, because he hadn't yet that day, and that after that we should go apple picking.
My reservations were compounding as the minutes passed and I knew apple picking was going to take longer than I wanted. Meanwhile he was planning dinner and breakfast the next morning. I needed an alternative to apple picking and a way out. Both came to me rather quickly, fortunately I have been in these need to get away situations before and have some tried and true Get Out of Date Free Cards to play. Based on the lovely weather and the fact that we were in Dorchester I suggested that we go for a walk to Castle Island. Then I also threw out that my roommate was potentially breaking up with her boyfriend and I might need to go home to help her cope with the break up. That was when the wonderfully old man-isms started flying, "Should I call the WHAAAAMBULANCE for her?"
He did eventually agree that the beach might be a good idea but he expressed his disappointment with not being able to "chuck" apples at me. I chuckled despite the fact that I was less than unamused. It was requested that I go and sit on the porch while he showered so I didn't have to observe his getting ready ritual. I happily headed out to the porch where I was able to see one of Geri's cute neighbors washing his car. Then after about 25 minutes he came back onto the porch more intoxicated than he had been prior to his shower.
We headed out to the beach and I was shocked at how intoxicated he actually was. He was staggering walking next to me and to be honest I was surprised he could find his way to the beach. We stopped to grab coffee on the way to the beach because I thought that maybe some other liquid in his system would help, but I was completely embarrassed by the fact that he couldn't even stand in one spot without leaning on the counter.
When we finally arrived at the beach he had suggested I realized that it was the old Stab N' Kill where Whitey use to dump his bodies. Sitting along the beach a man walking a dog came by and knew Geri. They had what must have been a 5-10 minute conversation that was very flirty but never once was I introduced. The guy's dog actually paid more attention to me more than either Geri or the mystery man.
He finally left and Geri explained that the mystery man was his ex-boyfriend who broke his heart. He also told me that he had spent the night with him the day before our date. That was pretty much the final straw. I needed to get out of there so I faked a text message from my friend saying that she was on her way home and needed me and a bottle of wine. Then he told me on our walk home that my friend sounded like she was "Two Cups of Crazy and a Side of CuckooCachoo" and I couldn't help but think, Someone in this situation is but I'm not sure its my friend.
On the walk home we passed a home for the mentally disabled and he drunkenly slurred out, "Yea that's the retard house. I had a friend with Down Syndrome in high school, we use to give him so much shit." I was now completely horrified and I began walking with a purpose. When we got back to his car he said something to the effect of, "Well I will just have to get other dinner plans for tonight, maybe I will even fuck them." Then he went in for a final kiss. I tried to make it a peck and then his tongue invaded my mouth and I had no other choice. I got in my car without a single look back, put on Quittin' Time and sped home.
All of my roommates were there and we ordered four pizzas and put away a few beers and a bottle of wine while watching Moulin Rouge. Is there really more you could ask of roommates. SO for now I guess its back to the drawing board. I will carefully avoid calls and make sure he knows its over but I will not be going on another date.
For now I guess that is all I have to report. If anyone has any suggestions on places to find normal men I am an open book feel free to let me know.
Chau!!
Monday, September 30, 2013
Grave Robbing Just In Time For Halloween
If you haven't already guessed the newest guy is a little bit older than me.... I was born in the year 1990....He was not....He was born in 1975. This means that I am 23 and he is 37.
According to the standard age limit equation for the Lower Limit used by most people in America (Half your Age + 7) I am a little too young for him. His lower limit is 25.5. However, when you use the standard age limit equation for the Upper Limit (Double your Age - 7) He is within the acceptable age range for me. SO the math says this whole situation is really only half fucked up so its fine. Nevertheless, I'm going to call this guy Geri for a few reasons. One I like the simplicity of the name it matches the simplicity of his name in real life too. Two its short for geriatric...which is not really funny because 37 is not that old, but its a little amusing because technically he is closer in age to my mother than he is to me.
But let's get down to the nitty gritty shall we. Geri is a tall bald white guy. He has blue eyes, a scruffy beard, a nice smile, and a pretty good dresser.
Geri asked me out initially while I was working and I totally blew him off. But he was persistent and asked me out a second time and I....once again blew him off understanding that we had a pretty big age gap between the two of us. I don't really think he understood how young I was in comparison. Then he asked me out a third time directly for dinner or drinks and my first date rule kicked in. Prior to his third invitation he had never actually asked me out on a date so I felt no obligation to actually go. Then he did and I remembered that I have my one rule for dating....if someone has the balls to ask you out then you owe them at least a first date.
I agreed to a date, but not to dinner because I didn't want to commit myself to more than I could handle. Geri lives in Dorchester and I now live on the other side of the city so we decided we would meet halfway for both of us at Fajitas and Ritas downtown and split a pitcher of margaritas with the understand that if things went well we could always get another pitcher or some food.
I was of course running late for the date because of the stupid Red Line, but I texted ahead and let him know the situation. He understood and I as I walked through the door and saw him sitting at the bar I realized it was the first time he had ever seen me not in scrubs and I immediately regretted procrastinating buying a new untattered/unfrayed pair of jeans.
We decided pretty quickly to sit at one of the tables and get some appetizers because I hadn't eaten all day because I got called in to the office to deal with a patient. Everything went really well so we got a second pitcher of margaritas and split a few more nachos, just cheese and guac (I'm sure people thought we were ridiculous but they were delicious). Toward the end of the meal he admitted the dirty secret that he smoked cigarettes and asked if I would join him while he had a post food cigarette. I agreed and walked with him outside. While standing outside he revealed that he was half French Canadian and while this meant he could speak fluent French it also meant that he smoked at least his fair share of cigarettes. We went back into the restaurant after his cigarette and on the way in he grabbed my ass...which for some reason I didn't really find creepy, it way more playful than anything. I paid because I felt bad that I was late.
Geri then offered to go to a place in the North End for another drink. I was a little hesitant but ultimately I was having a really good time. We ended up going to the sister restaurant of the one he works at in the Back Bay. It was super swanky. We had a few drinks, a group of people bought us some shots just for being friendly, we ordered some food, and then we started talking with the young married couple next to us. They were asking all sorts of benign questions and then asked how long we had been together and where we had met. We both sort of froze and looked at each other and laughed while we almost simultaneously said, "Well its our first date."
Despite the rather obvious faux pax the conversation continued about different Boston goings-on, basic national news coverage, and favorite travel destinations. It was in the latter part of the conversation that Geri made a sort of offhand comment that he would love to take me to Montreal with him. I smiled and pretended like it hadn't happened, but I simply cannot overlook the fact that it was our first date and he was already planning a couples trip to Canada. After a two minute recovery period I got my wits back and quickly changed the subject to the giant rock sitting on the ring finger of the young bride.
This time Geri paid the bill and we headed out. I was planning on trying to get back to Davis Square before the T closed when I realized that it was not even 9:30 yet. We had covered a lot of ground not because the date was bad but because we had met at a little over 5p. Geri suggested we go to the Alley for a drink. I feigned resistance, but ultimately we went to the Alley for a beer. I was the youngest person there by at least 20 years if you don't count my date. I needed to pee and I headed to the bathroom....luckily Geri followed me in and picked the urinal right beside me. I am still unsure if it was because he needed to pee or if it was because he wanted to make sure that nothing happened to me in the bathroom of the sketchy old gay bar he wanted to go to.
Finally we left the Alley and started to head back toward the T and he offered to have me come back to his place. I was hesistant and I think its because he knew I didn't want to just go back and fuck him so he said, "No just come back, we won't have sex we will just watch a movie and cuddle and maybe kiss." How could I say no to that right?
On our way to the T we passed a young homeless man holding a change sign. Geri actually stopped brought the guy into Subway and bought him a sandwich, a cookie, and a drink and bought cookies for each of us too. Then Geri without batting an eye said, "Yea and you give him your card so you can help him." I was the most turned I had been in probably a year at the moment in the middle of the Subway.
We ended up back at his place and it really was a pretty uneventful sleepover. I blew him and he blew me and then we went to bed and passed out in each other's arms. The next morning I got at least 4 text messages and two calls from work and not once did he have anything to negative to say about it at all. Finally around 12 I left and headed home. I probably got home around 1 with a detour or two to grab a coffee on the way back to the apartment where all of my roomies were waiting for the stories from the night before. Mid-Storytelling my phone rang, it was Geri calling to make sure that I made it home safely. I was FLOORED!! He is just such a grown up and I am so ready to fake it! But I digress...we have another date coming up tomorrow so I will update you all then.
Chau!!
Sunday, August 25, 2013
You Got Cum Up My Nose...
Most people would agree that one of the best ways to spend a Sunday is doing absolutely nothing. I think most people would also agree that one of the few activities that would trump a lazy Sunday would be a 4 hour sex-a-thon. Well that's what I thought...But I may have ventured into the land of PLCs....once again...
Let me start from the beginning....How many of you remember Hickey??? Yes that Hickey. Well about two weeks ago he messaged me once again on OkCupid and we began chatting. Everything was innocent enough at first. Nothing nearly as crazy as the last time that I saw him at the Panera, but at some point, probably around 11pm that night he started to sort of dirty text me. I wouldn't even say it was sexting at this point just dirty texting. Then about 30 minutes in it became full on sexting....pictures and all. To be honest I completely forgot how dirty this guy could be. The craziness had taken the place of any good character traits about him. After an hour or so of dirty texting/sexting I finally relented and gave him my number again (he had deleted it in his anger after the Panera incident).
Hickey then told me that he would be going to Jamaica for a week but he would like to see me after that. I expressed my concern that I didn't want to give him the wrong impression. I was very clear that I really was not looking to date him but if he was still interested in fooling around we might be able to do something about that. He was pretty interested in the proposition so I said I would text him when he got back from Jamaica to talk about coffee sometime.
So a week went by and I texted him again. He had a good trip and thought about what I had proposed, a friends with benefits situation more than a real dating situation, and he was still interested. I thought about this for a while before I really agreed. I remember how emotionally invested he got the last time and I didn't want a repeat, but the truth is I hadn't had sex since Hickey so...yes one head got the better of the other.
We agreed that we would meet that Sunday for coffee....by a fortunate turn of events both of my current roommates were away for the week which made my apartment a pretty conducive meeting spot. I picked him up from Ruggles (since he lives in Malden) and then drove him to my place. We had a coffee and while watching tv and catching up started making out.
Quickly we were going at it just like we had in the past. His belt was off and then I picked up all six feet of him and he wrapped his legs around me and I walked him into my room and threw him on my bed. His shirt was off next and then mine. We were both struggling to get the others button only pants off. Its sort of funny that we were both wearing pants with no zippers and only buttons and yet neither one of us anticipated that the other person would be wearing them
************************NSFW************************
The sex then progressed quickly. He gave me an amazing blowjob just as I remembered. He was really into it and pretty skilled. His dick was bigger than I remembered. He was freshly shaved and made a point to tell me that he had cleaned himself up for the occasion. Everything from that point on just became carnal instincts. A lot of pulling, pushing, a little hitting, some biting, and a whole lot of hot kissing. The foreplay and oral sex went on for about 30 minutes or so...maybe a little longer.
Then the sex began. All Hickey wanted was for me to fuck him.....it was hot as hell. I haven't been with someone who just wanted to be fucked like that in a very long time. There is something about knowing that somebody just wants you inside of them that is a huge turn on to me. So I got him to put the condom on and then had him just ride me. He was super into it....literally slamming himself onto me. Again wicked hot!
The sex continued in about 10 positions for about 2.5-3 hours. It was exactly what I needed. Just some raw fucking to get out all of the pent up frustrations with my life and all of the pent up sexual energy. The absolute best part was that there was no position that Hickey was not up to try. The deeper I could go and the harder I could thrust the happier and louder he got.
The chemistry was simply fantastic! He trusted me and was able to fluidly move his body with mine and we both had a good time. Until my phone rang....
I paused for a moment and wasn't going to answer it but Hickey must have seen how uncomfortable it made me not to answer my work phone so he literally pulled my dick out of his ass and handed me my work phone. It was a patient and someone who actually needed to talk to me so it was a good thing that we took a break. I called the patient back and started to talk things over with him....Hickey of course couldn't keep his mouth to himself for one phone call...thank God I was able to control my natural reactions to his oral skills. I finally got off the phone with the patient threw on another condom and some lube and again started going to town.
Eventually Hickey requested that we stop because his ass was getting sore.(OOPS) To be completely honest I am impressed that he lasted as long as he did....Had someone been pounding me the way I was him I definitely think I would have bitched out much sooner (Eh...maybe...I don't really know I have never been outdone yet).
Since he took such a good fucking I asked Hickey what his preference for cumming was. SO I ended up with cum all over my stomach which he promptly cleaned up and then requested that I cum on his face. I decided that the least I could do after him offering up his ass for 2 hours would be to cum on his face. It took about five minutes and then I shot a huge load across his face. Some of it ended up on his eye. He was smart enough to have his eyes closed but I still worried some would get in his eye and let's be real....that sucks...its almost as bad as toothpaste in your eye. I grabbed a towel and wiped my load off his face and suggested we shower. He said "Sure, but give me that towel...you got cum up my nose!" OOOOoooooOOOooops! I guess that happens. Who knew? I couldn't help but laugh and neither could he.
*************************SFW*************************
We then hopped in the shower together and both washed each other off. It was actually nice. We both were finally able to talk like two friends who hadn't seen each other in a long time with no weird or awkward sexual tension. For whatever reason the conversation in the shower post-coitus was the most natural conversation I had ever had with Hickey. I think that because the sexual tension had been alleviated and he felt no need to try and make sure I was still going to like him and want to date him afterward everything was just much more relaxed for the both of us.
After showering we put our clothes back on and headed out to the living room and just sat and talked for a while...again like old friends. I tried to get him to go for a round two...I even volunteered to let him fuck me....I even pulled out one of my best deep throat tricks...which almost made him cum again, but he was pretty adamant that he didn't want a second round. To each his own I guess right? After talking for probably an hour he apologized for being so crazy when we were dating. He blamed it on recently having come out and recently having gotten out of a relationship. Then we grabbed coffee and I brought him home to Malden and headed back to my place to just enjoy the rest of my night.
When all is said and done he hasn't texted me since then unless I text him first and he has been pretty normal. I'm thinking this kind of friends with benefits arrangement might work out really well for the both of us and I can't say that I hate it. We shall see where this goes, but who knew we hadn't see the end of Hickey...life works in mysterious ways I guess.
Well Until Next Time....
Chau!!
Let me start from the beginning....How many of you remember Hickey??? Yes that Hickey. Well about two weeks ago he messaged me once again on OkCupid and we began chatting. Everything was innocent enough at first. Nothing nearly as crazy as the last time that I saw him at the Panera, but at some point, probably around 11pm that night he started to sort of dirty text me. I wouldn't even say it was sexting at this point just dirty texting. Then about 30 minutes in it became full on sexting....pictures and all. To be honest I completely forgot how dirty this guy could be. The craziness had taken the place of any good character traits about him. After an hour or so of dirty texting/sexting I finally relented and gave him my number again (he had deleted it in his anger after the Panera incident).
Hickey then told me that he would be going to Jamaica for a week but he would like to see me after that. I expressed my concern that I didn't want to give him the wrong impression. I was very clear that I really was not looking to date him but if he was still interested in fooling around we might be able to do something about that. He was pretty interested in the proposition so I said I would text him when he got back from Jamaica to talk about coffee sometime.
So a week went by and I texted him again. He had a good trip and thought about what I had proposed, a friends with benefits situation more than a real dating situation, and he was still interested. I thought about this for a while before I really agreed. I remember how emotionally invested he got the last time and I didn't want a repeat, but the truth is I hadn't had sex since Hickey so...yes one head got the better of the other.
We agreed that we would meet that Sunday for coffee....by a fortunate turn of events both of my current roommates were away for the week which made my apartment a pretty conducive meeting spot. I picked him up from Ruggles (since he lives in Malden) and then drove him to my place. We had a coffee and while watching tv and catching up started making out.
Quickly we were going at it just like we had in the past. His belt was off and then I picked up all six feet of him and he wrapped his legs around me and I walked him into my room and threw him on my bed. His shirt was off next and then mine. We were both struggling to get the others button only pants off. Its sort of funny that we were both wearing pants with no zippers and only buttons and yet neither one of us anticipated that the other person would be wearing them
************************NSFW************************
The sex then progressed quickly. He gave me an amazing blowjob just as I remembered. He was really into it and pretty skilled. His dick was bigger than I remembered. He was freshly shaved and made a point to tell me that he had cleaned himself up for the occasion. Everything from that point on just became carnal instincts. A lot of pulling, pushing, a little hitting, some biting, and a whole lot of hot kissing. The foreplay and oral sex went on for about 30 minutes or so...maybe a little longer.
Then the sex began. All Hickey wanted was for me to fuck him.....it was hot as hell. I haven't been with someone who just wanted to be fucked like that in a very long time. There is something about knowing that somebody just wants you inside of them that is a huge turn on to me. So I got him to put the condom on and then had him just ride me. He was super into it....literally slamming himself onto me. Again wicked hot!
The sex continued in about 10 positions for about 2.5-3 hours. It was exactly what I needed. Just some raw fucking to get out all of the pent up frustrations with my life and all of the pent up sexual energy. The absolute best part was that there was no position that Hickey was not up to try. The deeper I could go and the harder I could thrust the happier and louder he got.
The chemistry was simply fantastic! He trusted me and was able to fluidly move his body with mine and we both had a good time. Until my phone rang....
I paused for a moment and wasn't going to answer it but Hickey must have seen how uncomfortable it made me not to answer my work phone so he literally pulled my dick out of his ass and handed me my work phone. It was a patient and someone who actually needed to talk to me so it was a good thing that we took a break. I called the patient back and started to talk things over with him....Hickey of course couldn't keep his mouth to himself for one phone call...thank God I was able to control my natural reactions to his oral skills. I finally got off the phone with the patient threw on another condom and some lube and again started going to town.
Eventually Hickey requested that we stop because his ass was getting sore.(OOPS) To be completely honest I am impressed that he lasted as long as he did....Had someone been pounding me the way I was him I definitely think I would have bitched out much sooner (Eh...maybe...I don't really know I have never been outdone yet).
Since he took such a good fucking I asked Hickey what his preference for cumming was. SO I ended up with cum all over my stomach which he promptly cleaned up and then requested that I cum on his face. I decided that the least I could do after him offering up his ass for 2 hours would be to cum on his face. It took about five minutes and then I shot a huge load across his face. Some of it ended up on his eye. He was smart enough to have his eyes closed but I still worried some would get in his eye and let's be real....that sucks...its almost as bad as toothpaste in your eye. I grabbed a towel and wiped my load off his face and suggested we shower. He said "Sure, but give me that towel...you got cum up my nose!" OOOOoooooOOOooops! I guess that happens. Who knew? I couldn't help but laugh and neither could he.
*************************SFW*************************
We then hopped in the shower together and both washed each other off. It was actually nice. We both were finally able to talk like two friends who hadn't seen each other in a long time with no weird or awkward sexual tension. For whatever reason the conversation in the shower post-coitus was the most natural conversation I had ever had with Hickey. I think that because the sexual tension had been alleviated and he felt no need to try and make sure I was still going to like him and want to date him afterward everything was just much more relaxed for the both of us.
After showering we put our clothes back on and headed out to the living room and just sat and talked for a while...again like old friends. I tried to get him to go for a round two...I even volunteered to let him fuck me....I even pulled out one of my best deep throat tricks...which almost made him cum again, but he was pretty adamant that he didn't want a second round. To each his own I guess right? After talking for probably an hour he apologized for being so crazy when we were dating. He blamed it on recently having come out and recently having gotten out of a relationship. Then we grabbed coffee and I brought him home to Malden and headed back to my place to just enjoy the rest of my night.
When all is said and done he hasn't texted me since then unless I text him first and he has been pretty normal. I'm thinking this kind of friends with benefits arrangement might work out really well for the both of us and I can't say that I hate it. We shall see where this goes, but who knew we hadn't see the end of Hickey...life works in mysterious ways I guess.
Well Until Next Time....
Chau!!
Monday, July 1, 2013
A Week Away
And today I am leaving Boston and my home to go spend a week in Provincetown.
A few updates before I go and hopefully one or two after the trip....God willing that is....
The Harvard Gaymer and I actually spent quite a bit of time talking online the other night. We even skyped....so yes that means exactly what you think it means. I also found out that he is a bit of an exhibitionist....That's right he has a cam4 account.....At first I was concerned about this....and then I realized that this could be the reason that I continue talking to him despite the fact that he is a virgin. I mean if you're a virgin, but you are curious and courageous enough to go on cam4 and share your goods for all the world then I should at least consider the possibility that you might be someone who is right up my alley, right? I mean he is a total dork, goes to Harvard, is a tall black guy, and has a great body, and is a little freaky....but not too much...he has to have one thing wrong right...I guess that might be his age and virginity....but maybe I will stick it out and see what happens. Its still nice to have someone to talk to I guess.
And the other update which is just getting silly....
Last night I got a message from KFlip..."You working tonight? Let's go out! My BF is in San Fran pride." I honestly don't even know how to take these kinds of messages. I think because I am one of the few out people that this guy knows he thinks I am always up to go out with him when he, and I quote, "Feels like being 'gay'" He actually sent that to me in a text message. I mean come on dude....you are 26....man up and come out and go to a gay bar by yourself if you're that desperate! I thought I made it pretty clear that nothing was going to happen now that I knew he had a boyfriend but apparently he didn't quite get the message. So I told him I was away....which is true I was packing to go and there was no way in hell I was going to go out....I had already cancelled plans with my lesbians and they definitely take priority over him so....that's that I guess.
And now I am just waiting to get my car fixed so that I can head down to PTown. I'm working all week testing people of course, but I am going to get a few chances to go out and just relax which is something I haven't done in quite a long time. I'm looking forward to being down there and hopefully getting hit on by someone who is around my age and at least attractive...but lets be real I would take getting hit on by someone much older and unattractive if they are going to buy me a drink. Does that mean I have low standards or I'm just smart?? I'm going with smart/frugal....
Well I will write when I get back of what should be a fun week.
Until Later...
Chau!
A few updates before I go and hopefully one or two after the trip....God willing that is....
The Harvard Gaymer and I actually spent quite a bit of time talking online the other night. We even skyped....so yes that means exactly what you think it means. I also found out that he is a bit of an exhibitionist....That's right he has a cam4 account.....At first I was concerned about this....and then I realized that this could be the reason that I continue talking to him despite the fact that he is a virgin. I mean if you're a virgin, but you are curious and courageous enough to go on cam4 and share your goods for all the world then I should at least consider the possibility that you might be someone who is right up my alley, right? I mean he is a total dork, goes to Harvard, is a tall black guy, and has a great body, and is a little freaky....but not too much...he has to have one thing wrong right...I guess that might be his age and virginity....but maybe I will stick it out and see what happens. Its still nice to have someone to talk to I guess.
And the other update which is just getting silly....
Last night I got a message from KFlip..."You working tonight? Let's go out! My BF is in San Fran pride." I honestly don't even know how to take these kinds of messages. I think because I am one of the few out people that this guy knows he thinks I am always up to go out with him when he, and I quote, "Feels like being 'gay'" He actually sent that to me in a text message. I mean come on dude....you are 26....man up and come out and go to a gay bar by yourself if you're that desperate! I thought I made it pretty clear that nothing was going to happen now that I knew he had a boyfriend but apparently he didn't quite get the message. So I told him I was away....which is true I was packing to go and there was no way in hell I was going to go out....I had already cancelled plans with my lesbians and they definitely take priority over him so....that's that I guess.
And now I am just waiting to get my car fixed so that I can head down to PTown. I'm working all week testing people of course, but I am going to get a few chances to go out and just relax which is something I haven't done in quite a long time. I'm looking forward to being down there and hopefully getting hit on by someone who is around my age and at least attractive...but lets be real I would take getting hit on by someone much older and unattractive if they are going to buy me a drink. Does that mean I have low standards or I'm just smart?? I'm going with smart/frugal....
Well I will write when I get back of what should be a fun week.
Until Later...
Chau!
Thursday, June 20, 2013
When it Rains....it Fucking Pours...And Then You Occasionally Get Struck By Lightning
I guess this is more of an update post than a really great one in general, but I haven't posted anything in a while so I figure I needed to say something. First let me blame my lack of posts on two things: 1. I just got a new job and have been working pretty regularly to try and stay on top of things and 2. I haven't even had a probably propositions for a date in over a month now.
Let's start with the good news. By some weird and strange coincidence I am still talking with and still have a thing for the Harvard Gaymer. We haven't gone on a date in over a month and I still feel inclined to text him or gChat him regularly and it always brings a smile to my face when I realize I got a text from him. I know this is stupid and sappy and definitely not the reason most people read this blog, but its the truth. I was going to try and phase him out throughout the summer because he was a virgin and so much younger than me but all of my friends have convinced me of what a bad idea that would be. I guess they are right to when it come down to it. This is the first guy in a long time that is low maintenance, into me, smart, funny, and that I am actually into on some level. So I guess the old motto, If It Ain't Broke Don't Fix It sort of applies although I guess it should be switched around a little to be more apropos, If It Ain't Broke Don't Fuck It Up. And thus ends the good news....
Onto the almost newsworthy updates....I've heard from two guys that I have been on dates with in the past within the past 3 weeks. Like the title says when it rains it pours....
The first guy to randomly message me out of the blue was Mereb...For whatever reason this motherfucker keeps just popping up back in my life. He Facebook messaged me a few weeks ago just asking me how I was doing. I responded very cordially. A brief and curt conversation began and he intimated that he wanted to get together for coffee or drinks to catch up. Being the asshole that I am and remembering full well that this was the guy who was going to FIX me I responded, "I thought that was what we were doing." After a few more knife twists in the conversation Mereb finally took a hint.
Here is what I really don't understand. You stopped dating me because you found the best boyfriend ever. He broke up with you and you immediately Facebook messaged me. In the course of that conversation you told me that you were planning on leaving the city in about a month or two. The last time you spoke to me before this you attempted to booty call me and then told me you were going to fix me. WHY on EARTH would I assume you were looking for anything other than to get your dick wet? Also if I rejected you as a booty call the last time what makes you think that I would change my mind. Do I come across as that desperate? I didn't think so, but who knows.
The next former guy that showed up literally out of the blue was KFlip. The weekend of Boston Pride I got a text message asking me out again and apologizing for not being in touch in so long. If I am being honest I was almost giddy when I heard from KFlip. He was such a good guy, cute, nice, had a good job, intelligent, his biggest flaw was that he wasn't out and wasn't comfortable really dating a guy. I honestly thought that after a few months he had worked on coming out and was finally ready to date someone for real. I was super excited.
We made plans to meet the Saturday night of Pride weekend to go out for drinks at a club. Around 10 o'clock I was still at work so I called to cancel/reschedule. He was more than happy to put it off until the Sunday. So we planned to do brunch and then the Back Bay block party. I thought that it would be a really cute date. We originally headed over to Thornton's which was closed, and then we went over to the Trident Cafe where the wait was WICKED long. Finally he suggested we go to CafeTeria, a really gay/shi shi brunch place on Newbury St. We ordered and split a jug of Bloody Marys and everything was going well. We were laughing there was some subtle arm touching and flirting. Then the check came and he insisted on paying. I sneaked a peak at the bill around fifty bucks so I thought, "Just as I remembered a gentleman. Nice! Score!" Then while the card was being run I asked about how else his life was going....
"Oh well I have a boyfriend now." It was like the scene in Jane Eyre when the tree is struck by lightning and starts bursting into flames.
Seriously??? Then the best part was he followed that up with...."He isn't out either so it works out really well. And I've been faithful." WHAT THE FUCK??!?! You just paid for another guys expensive brunch, and are planning on going to a gay block party with him.
It was at this point that I turned into the bitter asshole that most people know me as. "Oh that's funny. Does he look as gay as you though because its not like he is that in the closet then?" I knew full well this was like pulling the cornerstone out of an archway and I was about to watch this man crumble in front of me but I couldn't help myself. What dickhead asks someone out on a date and halfway through insists its not a date? Really? REALLY? Then I spent the next half an hour explaining to KFlip how any homo with a halfway decent gaydar would spot him in a second and now in another second that he was a dick hungry bottom. I know I'm an asshole, but I really just couldn't help myself.
We went to the block party and he spent maybe a total of 45 minutes waiting for it to fill up....we were there pretty early.....and then he took off as soon as more than 25 people were in the vicinity. I didn't leave. Instead I just sat on the curb and drank and watched the festivities. I gave off a fuck off vibe to so no one even came near me. I called my lesbians to come but they were busy so eventually I just left, happy with the buzz I had gotten mid-afternoon.
I think that is pretty much it for now. I'm going to continue to talk to the Harvard Gaymer and then see what else happens this summer. I should be going to PTown for the week of the Fourth of July for work so who knows maybe I will fall madly in love with a stranger I meet down there. Maybe I won't meet a single person....maybe I'll meet a few (probably not since its a work trip but a boy can hope right).
Well until next time....
Chau!!
Let's start with the good news. By some weird and strange coincidence I am still talking with and still have a thing for the Harvard Gaymer. We haven't gone on a date in over a month and I still feel inclined to text him or gChat him regularly and it always brings a smile to my face when I realize I got a text from him. I know this is stupid and sappy and definitely not the reason most people read this blog, but its the truth. I was going to try and phase him out throughout the summer because he was a virgin and so much younger than me but all of my friends have convinced me of what a bad idea that would be. I guess they are right to when it come down to it. This is the first guy in a long time that is low maintenance, into me, smart, funny, and that I am actually into on some level. So I guess the old motto, If It Ain't Broke Don't Fix It sort of applies although I guess it should be switched around a little to be more apropos, If It Ain't Broke Don't Fuck It Up. And thus ends the good news....
Onto the almost newsworthy updates....I've heard from two guys that I have been on dates with in the past within the past 3 weeks. Like the title says when it rains it pours....
The first guy to randomly message me out of the blue was Mereb...For whatever reason this motherfucker keeps just popping up back in my life. He Facebook messaged me a few weeks ago just asking me how I was doing. I responded very cordially. A brief and curt conversation began and he intimated that he wanted to get together for coffee or drinks to catch up. Being the asshole that I am and remembering full well that this was the guy who was going to FIX me I responded, "I thought that was what we were doing." After a few more knife twists in the conversation Mereb finally took a hint.
Here is what I really don't understand. You stopped dating me because you found the best boyfriend ever. He broke up with you and you immediately Facebook messaged me. In the course of that conversation you told me that you were planning on leaving the city in about a month or two. The last time you spoke to me before this you attempted to booty call me and then told me you were going to fix me. WHY on EARTH would I assume you were looking for anything other than to get your dick wet? Also if I rejected you as a booty call the last time what makes you think that I would change my mind. Do I come across as that desperate? I didn't think so, but who knows.
The next former guy that showed up literally out of the blue was KFlip. The weekend of Boston Pride I got a text message asking me out again and apologizing for not being in touch in so long. If I am being honest I was almost giddy when I heard from KFlip. He was such a good guy, cute, nice, had a good job, intelligent, his biggest flaw was that he wasn't out and wasn't comfortable really dating a guy. I honestly thought that after a few months he had worked on coming out and was finally ready to date someone for real. I was super excited.
We made plans to meet the Saturday night of Pride weekend to go out for drinks at a club. Around 10 o'clock I was still at work so I called to cancel/reschedule. He was more than happy to put it off until the Sunday. So we planned to do brunch and then the Back Bay block party. I thought that it would be a really cute date. We originally headed over to Thornton's which was closed, and then we went over to the Trident Cafe where the wait was WICKED long. Finally he suggested we go to CafeTeria, a really gay/shi shi brunch place on Newbury St. We ordered and split a jug of Bloody Marys and everything was going well. We were laughing there was some subtle arm touching and flirting. Then the check came and he insisted on paying. I sneaked a peak at the bill around fifty bucks so I thought, "Just as I remembered a gentleman. Nice! Score!" Then while the card was being run I asked about how else his life was going....
"Oh well I have a boyfriend now." It was like the scene in Jane Eyre when the tree is struck by lightning and starts bursting into flames.
Seriously??? Then the best part was he followed that up with...."He isn't out either so it works out really well. And I've been faithful." WHAT THE FUCK??!?! You just paid for another guys expensive brunch, and are planning on going to a gay block party with him.
It was at this point that I turned into the bitter asshole that most people know me as. "Oh that's funny. Does he look as gay as you though because its not like he is that in the closet then?" I knew full well this was like pulling the cornerstone out of an archway and I was about to watch this man crumble in front of me but I couldn't help myself. What dickhead asks someone out on a date and halfway through insists its not a date? Really? REALLY? Then I spent the next half an hour explaining to KFlip how any homo with a halfway decent gaydar would spot him in a second and now in another second that he was a dick hungry bottom. I know I'm an asshole, but I really just couldn't help myself.
We went to the block party and he spent maybe a total of 45 minutes waiting for it to fill up....we were there pretty early.....and then he took off as soon as more than 25 people were in the vicinity. I didn't leave. Instead I just sat on the curb and drank and watched the festivities. I gave off a fuck off vibe to so no one even came near me. I called my lesbians to come but they were busy so eventually I just left, happy with the buzz I had gotten mid-afternoon.
I think that is pretty much it for now. I'm going to continue to talk to the Harvard Gaymer and then see what else happens this summer. I should be going to PTown for the week of the Fourth of July for work so who knows maybe I will fall madly in love with a stranger I meet down there. Maybe I won't meet a single person....maybe I'll meet a few (probably not since its a work trip but a boy can hope right).
Well until next time....
Chau!!
Monday, May 13, 2013
Once a Gay Starter Kit Always a Gay Starter Kit....
I went on another date with the Harvard Gaymer last Thursday. It was actually super cute! We went to Davis Square to the old theater there to see a movie at like 4 in the afternoon. The tickets were cheap and the popcorn was covered in butter and the theater is just awesome, old and pretty.
So we decided to go and see Evil Dead. We were literally the only two people in the ENTIRE theater. So naturally we sat right in the middle with our feet up. He wrapped his arm around me in a very 80's Rom Com sort of a move and then just pulled me in to be lying with him as the movie progressed. It was really sweet. Naturally it made me a little uncomfortable to be this relationshippy so I kissed him. And then I kept kissing him. And then I continued to kiss him. And before I knew it we were making out while the Evil Dead was unfolding in the background.
After a little while hands began to wander and so did other parts of our body. Rather than go into too much detail, let me just say that it was probably a really good thing that we were the only people in the movie theater. Let me also say that for the second time in my life I had now both given and received blowjobs while some sort of horror film or TV show was going on in the background. Its really like Halloween is my spirit sex animal or something. I digress, after a few minutes of really inappropriate action in a movie theater I realized what was happening and insisted it stop. We went back to just sitting intimately close to each other, or as intimately close as one can get with a giant arm rest and cup holder in between two people.
The movie proceeded without any further action between the two of us and quite frankly without much action in the film either. The movie sort of sucked....which was okay because so did the Gaymer, but I would not recommend spending my money to go and see it.
After the movie we ended up just walking and chatting in the rain around Davis Square. Again it was very cute and very much like a relationship. He held an umbrella and insisted I walk under it. We grabbed some coffee and just chatted about our lives.
During our talk he began telling me about his summer plans. He also informed me that he finally came out to his sister. Now this is a big deal for a couple reasons. One, when I first went on a date with the Harvard Gaymer he was pretty insistent that he was bisexual. Two, Harvard Gaymer is originally from outside of Atlanta and is black. Both of these things are fascinating to me because before he met me he didn't intend to do any of these things. So it appears that once again I am helping someone find themselves and slowly but surely become more comfortable with their sexuality.
GREAT!! AWESOME!! FUCKING BRILLIANT!!!
I know that all seems a bit much, but it really is becoming ridiculous. I think its great that I make people feel comfortable. I think its amazing that I can help people in this way. BUT, every once in a while I would love to go on a date with a guy who was just gay and okay with it already. Someone who was out and was going to go home and tell their mother about the nice date they had with a guy. Maybe my head is just too far in the clouds on this one. Maybe I am just ahead of the curve in terms of being out and okay with it and looking for a relationship with guys my own age. Maybe the solution is to date someone older....although that hasn't really worked out in the past either. I wish there was just some magical place that all of the out normal gay people hung out at so that I could flirt with someone who had been on a date with a man before in their life.
Back to the date though. So waiting for the bus all of the information about his summer plans come out and I listen contentedly. He never directly mentions talking to me throughout the summer, but the way he is talking I can tell that it is definitely implied.
We took the bus back to Harvard where I was once again invited up to his room and I of course accepted my invitation. We started making out and the roommate who is clearly in love with him walked in and just sort of storm passed us.....OoOOOOoooOOoops....
Then we began to play a silly little game. I honestly think it is one of those games that is just a fun way to get stuff going. I want you to...One person finishes that sentence and then after the task is completed the next person makes the statement with their own ending. And it goes back and forth until you completely forget that there is a game involved at all. I prefaced this game with "Now given the fact that you're a virgin....you can't say have sex....we are NOT having sex." He didn't seem totally bothered by me saying this but he didn't really seem relieved either.
**************************************NSFW**************************************
The game started with some pretty simple foreplay lick my nipple, suck my finger, and take off your pants. Then it led to a little bit more heavy petting and some oral action. And then it went somewhere I was not really expecting at all. He said, "I want to tie you up and blindfold you." I thought about it for a moment. I think I actually laughed and he looked at me dead in the yes and said, "No I'm serious" Laughing the whole time I consented and ended up having to show him how to use his scarf to tie my arms to the bed post. I easily could have shimmied out if I wanted to but I thought that I might as well let him have his fun. He played with me and himself while I was blindfolded and when he finally took the blindfold off he had a raging erection.
Given the turn in nature that the game had taken I decided to give him a taste of his own medicine. As soon as the blindfold went over his eyes he began oozing precum like a faucet. The Harvard Gaymer has a secret kinky side and I can't say that I totally hate it. He looked damn good tied to his bed. His abs have gotten considerably more defined in the weeks since our last date and his cock was so hard that it was just a pretty sight. After teasing him for a bit he decided that he wanted to tie me up again. I obliged. This time though he whispered in my ear that he would be back...the guy left me tied to his bed while he went to pee and come back. I've got to tell you for a minute I was a little worried and contemplated pulling my hand out of the scarves and just laying their untied, but I realized that this must be some sort of fantasy for him so I just chilled. He covered me with his blanket when he left and when he came back and uncovered me I could tell he was REALLY turned on by the thought that I had just been waiting for him in his room tied up.
Then after another 15 minutes or so he wanted to be tied up again and I was definitely into it so we switched roles. This time I took it to the next level though and tied his legs, arms, and blindfolded him. He was dripping without me even having to touch him. Then after a few minutes of teasing he told me that he wanted me to ejaculate on his penis. At this point I literally thought, "Well, what the fuck...might as well....we've come this far already." So I obliged and shot a pretty decent load if I do say so myself and the kid just started jacking himself off with it. I removed the blindfold and his arm ties so that he could and he just kept working away at it. After a while I think he just gave up on cumming right then and there and decided to just get dressed and walk me to the bus so I could go home. It was funny he didn't even wipe my cum off of him. Most of it he had rubbed into his dick and the rest had dried, white crusty stains on his brown skin. It was sort of hot. BUT Anyway.....
***************************************SFW**************************************
Once we were both dressed we started walking toward the bus stop. He threw his arm around me and pulled me in close to his body and insisted that we walk that way to the bus stop. It was nice. I really think he liked the idea of having a guy. As he was pulling me into himself he was waving at people who were walking by that he knew. It was nice to see that he was sort of coming into his own as a guy who could be on a date with another guy. As we approached the bus stop I watched as the last bus of the night sped past me without even stopping. It was at that point that he accompanied me back to CVS to grab some late night snacks before I hailed a cab and headed home.
While we were in CVS amongst all of the drunk Harvard students enjoying one of their last reading days before their finals began he started to ask about when we would talk again. I told him soon and he seemed happy with that and then I think it dawned on him that he was going to be leaving for the summer. So I told him that is why they invented skype and I would definitely keep talking to him if he was definitely interested.
There is something about him that I really like. He is nice and kind and smart. He is wicked smart and one of the few guys I have ever dated who can actually give me a true run for my money in terms of intelligence which I really like. He can go pun for pun and understand jokes about Calvinism and binary and I just haven't found that yet. HOWEVER, I think that we may just end up being friend who occasionally fool around. When we were on the date even though it was super cute I just kept thinking that he was more into me than I was into him. And then I would feel bad. Its not that I don't like him, its just that it takes me a long time to get to the point where I really like someone a lot.
The other thing is that there is something just a little off about the sexual chemistry. Harvard Gaymer insists that he will be a top, but I am almost certain he is a bottom. His body language, demeanor, and personality all denote someone who is more of a bossy bottom. At one point I wanted to start singing...
He almost got offended when I said it but once I explain why I think he agreed to. And believe me there is nothing wrong with being a bottom, the problem for me is that I need someone who truly is okay with switching or is such a top or such a bottom that I would never want to switch.
As of right now the Harvard Gaymer and I are still texting. We are still playing Words with Friends too actually. I guess we shall see where the summer takes this, but until I get a definitive gut feeling about him one way or another I'm not going to limit my dating options.
We shall see.....
Chau!!!
Sunday, April 7, 2013
The Harvard Gaymer
Well I am back at it.....I went on a date on Wednesday night with another guy I met off the online dating website. I am determined to find one normal person who I can date regularly.....
Let me begin by describing the guy: Physically he is about 6 feet tall, black, a little bit of scruff, huge hands and really long arms. He is also super smart. He goes to Harvard and is a math and computer science major which is pretty cool, different than me which I always appreciate. He is originally from Atlanta and is actually quite the catch I think. Some other lets not say issues, but complications, he is wicked into gaming (like video and computer games) and he like oh-so-many of the guys I've dated before is not out to his family. Not a huge issue since he is out in Boston and all of his friends at school know he's gay/bi.
Now for details about the date. For the record I'm calling this guy the Harvard Gaymer because he goes to Harvard and is so into the gaming...I think its appropriate.
So where do I begin. When we were trying to figure out when we could meet we ultimately decided that we could get together Wednesday despite my 12 hour long shift working because he would come and meet me in the city so I wouldn't have to head into Cambridge. The fact that he was willing to come and meet me won him major points. Then we settled on coffee at the Starbucks on the corner of Mass Ave and Boylston. I thought this would be perfect because it was walking distance for me and he could just hop on the 1 bus.
What I didn't take into account was that this guy went to Harvard....so super smart, but little to no common sense. About 10 minutes after he was supposed to meet me I decided to text him and figure out where he was. Apparently the green line was running late......Yes that's right this Harvard Gaymer had decided to take the Red Line and then the Green line to a place that was literally right off of the 1 Bus. It was at that point that I decided I would just meet him and we could walk some place closer.....and then just when I thought the directional skills couldn't get any worse....he told me, "Yea I just got off at Copley." Priceless, I know, but I didn't want to judge him to prematurely.
When I finally found him we grabbed coffee and headed back to Northeastern to see one of my friends perform in her acapella group, Pitch, Please! (you can check out videos of them there). I thought it would be a fun first date type of activity and I had already promised my friend I would go. We ended up sitting on the ground and listening for the entire set and then we left.
I could tell that he wanted an invite back to my place, which I was definitely wary of giving. I wasn't wary because I thought I might do something I would regret, but I was just worried about having to show off my atrocious room to someone who I had a good first date with so far. I split the difference and ended up inviting him up to the 16th floor common room of my building so he could check out a real view of the city. We ended up sitting right next to each other on an oversized chair and before I knew it we were kissing.
Great kisser! Just the right amount of playful and aggressive. After making out for probably five minutes we just continue to sit in the chair and talk withn his arms wrapped around me.....it was at this point I realized how big his hands were. I'm not saying this as an innuendo for his dick by the way. I'm talking about this guy's actual hands...they were huge and dwarfed mine in comparison. It was nice to have someone wrap there arms around me and just hold me with such big arms and hands for a change...that hasn't happened for a very long time and I definitely was not unhappy about it happening then.
During the conversations between making out I actually learned a lot about him. The two most important things: 1. He is a virgin for all intents and purposes and 2. He is a HUGE nerd. Most of you are probably judging me and saying that you just assumed these things by the fact that he is a black computer science major at Harvard, but I hold out hope folks....what can I say.... Ways I learned this information....welll he flat out told me the only time he ever had anal sex it lasted for three seconds and then he changed his mind. And then he made an error bars joke while kissing....that's right he made a math joke about kissing what a dweeb....and yet how endearing.....
Eventually after an hour or so of making out and just talking I realized where this night was going and insisted that he go home and not spend the night. I like him, for now at least, and I definitely don't want him to get the wrong impression. So I walked him first to grab something to eat and then to the 1 bus so he could get home.
On the walk to the bus I learned something about him that definitely piques my interest....he is a self-professed former fatty. Those of you who know me know that I have a theory that hasn't been wrong yet. Former fatties and former acne laden teenagers are usually the best in bed. They all are now attractive, but still have the I-Need-To-Make-Up-For-My-Looks-Self-Esteem which makes them a rock star in bed. There is nothing I love hearing more when talking to a really attractive guy that they used to get made fun of in middle school....some people may say....awww and feel bad, but in my head all I can think is JACKPOT!!
But I digress, he got on the bus and I walked home. We've been texting off and on all week and I actually have another date with him tonight, this time on his turf. So I guess I should head home so I can get ready to head out to Cambridge. Wish me luck!
Until next time....
Chau!!
Let me begin by describing the guy: Physically he is about 6 feet tall, black, a little bit of scruff, huge hands and really long arms. He is also super smart. He goes to Harvard and is a math and computer science major which is pretty cool, different than me which I always appreciate. He is originally from Atlanta and is actually quite the catch I think. Some other lets not say issues, but complications, he is wicked into gaming (like video and computer games) and he like oh-so-many of the guys I've dated before is not out to his family. Not a huge issue since he is out in Boston and all of his friends at school know he's gay/bi.
Now for details about the date. For the record I'm calling this guy the Harvard Gaymer because he goes to Harvard and is so into the gaming...I think its appropriate.
So where do I begin. When we were trying to figure out when we could meet we ultimately decided that we could get together Wednesday despite my 12 hour long shift working because he would come and meet me in the city so I wouldn't have to head into Cambridge. The fact that he was willing to come and meet me won him major points. Then we settled on coffee at the Starbucks on the corner of Mass Ave and Boylston. I thought this would be perfect because it was walking distance for me and he could just hop on the 1 bus.
What I didn't take into account was that this guy went to Harvard....so super smart, but little to no common sense. About 10 minutes after he was supposed to meet me I decided to text him and figure out where he was. Apparently the green line was running late......Yes that's right this Harvard Gaymer had decided to take the Red Line and then the Green line to a place that was literally right off of the 1 Bus. It was at that point that I decided I would just meet him and we could walk some place closer.....and then just when I thought the directional skills couldn't get any worse....he told me, "Yea I just got off at Copley." Priceless, I know, but I didn't want to judge him to prematurely.
When I finally found him we grabbed coffee and headed back to Northeastern to see one of my friends perform in her acapella group, Pitch, Please! (you can check out videos of them there). I thought it would be a fun first date type of activity and I had already promised my friend I would go. We ended up sitting on the ground and listening for the entire set and then we left.
I could tell that he wanted an invite back to my place, which I was definitely wary of giving. I wasn't wary because I thought I might do something I would regret, but I was just worried about having to show off my atrocious room to someone who I had a good first date with so far. I split the difference and ended up inviting him up to the 16th floor common room of my building so he could check out a real view of the city. We ended up sitting right next to each other on an oversized chair and before I knew it we were kissing.
Great kisser! Just the right amount of playful and aggressive. After making out for probably five minutes we just continue to sit in the chair and talk withn his arms wrapped around me.....it was at this point I realized how big his hands were. I'm not saying this as an innuendo for his dick by the way. I'm talking about this guy's actual hands...they were huge and dwarfed mine in comparison. It was nice to have someone wrap there arms around me and just hold me with such big arms and hands for a change...that hasn't happened for a very long time and I definitely was not unhappy about it happening then.
During the conversations between making out I actually learned a lot about him. The two most important things: 1. He is a virgin for all intents and purposes and 2. He is a HUGE nerd. Most of you are probably judging me and saying that you just assumed these things by the fact that he is a black computer science major at Harvard, but I hold out hope folks....what can I say.... Ways I learned this information....welll he flat out told me the only time he ever had anal sex it lasted for three seconds and then he changed his mind. And then he made an error bars joke while kissing....that's right he made a math joke about kissing what a dweeb....and yet how endearing.....
Eventually after an hour or so of making out and just talking I realized where this night was going and insisted that he go home and not spend the night. I like him, for now at least, and I definitely don't want him to get the wrong impression. So I walked him first to grab something to eat and then to the 1 bus so he could get home.
On the walk to the bus I learned something about him that definitely piques my interest....he is a self-professed former fatty. Those of you who know me know that I have a theory that hasn't been wrong yet. Former fatties and former acne laden teenagers are usually the best in bed. They all are now attractive, but still have the I-Need-To-Make-Up-For-My-Looks-Self-Esteem which makes them a rock star in bed. There is nothing I love hearing more when talking to a really attractive guy that they used to get made fun of in middle school....some people may say....awww and feel bad, but in my head all I can think is JACKPOT!!
But I digress, he got on the bus and I walked home. We've been texting off and on all week and I actually have another date with him tonight, this time on his turf. So I guess I should head home so I can get ready to head out to Cambridge. Wish me luck!
Until next time....
Chau!!
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