Shortly after restarting this blog I met someone online. He is everything I have always thought I wanted. Tall, handsome, friendly, ambitious, a total Hufflepuff, sexual chemistry, a GRE level vocabulary...he is essentially the hot gay nerd. I struck gold. We have been on three amazing dates, he has slept over twice, he met my roommate. I have gushed about him to my friends and coworkers. But for some reason this week I got this sinking pit in my stomach that I shouldn't get too attached. I hadn't thought once about jumping ship and then this week it hit me that I was nervous about what was going to happen next. There is some part of me that is petrified that what happened with Othello is going to happen here. I have been protecting him from the blog, because usually by the time I write a post about people that means they are not long for my dating world. I realized tonight that was ridiculous. Tonight is the first night that I have sent him a text message and he hasn't responded. I know that's stupid, and I know I'm being ridiculous and that this might mean nothing, but in my experience this is the beginning of the end.
By the third date the charm of dating someone who works as much as I do for my patients who have nothing has worn off and you want someone who can devote more time to you. By the end of the third date, you're sick of my swearing sailor mouth and want someone who can just chill and be cool. By the end of the third date you realize my life is really a fucking shit show and I am rarely in charge of what I am doing from one second to the next. By the end of the third date you realize that my room is always messy and I really don't care much about my appearance. By the end of the third date you realize my taste in everything from clothing to music isn't eclectic its just fucking weird and you are over it. By the end of the third date you realize I really am not that nice of a person and that the reason I have my jobs is to give me some chance of not going directly to hell. By the end of the third date you realize that I am more trouble than I'm worth and it would be way easier to get some Grindr slut to suck you off. By the end of the third date you realize that until you have a conversation with me about where we are in terms of dating I will assume that the buck stops there. By the end of the third date if I am still interested I have already become the clingy, annoying, and desperate boy that no one really wants to date.
So here I sit....several days after the end of the third date....and all I face are mounting insecurities about things that I have said, actions I have taken, and text messages I have and have not sent since we started dating.......waiting patiently to hear the chime from my phone indicating a text rather than the depressing trill of some horny Grindr queen.
Showing posts with label gay Carrie Bradshaw. Show all posts
Showing posts with label gay Carrie Bradshaw. Show all posts
Thursday, February 16, 2017
Sunday, January 8, 2017
A Birthday Weekend Extravaganza
I know that I may have been gone for a while, but some things have not changed. I turned 27 this last week and I am still a total work-a-holic (I'm up to 4 jobs now) and I still am single as ever. I have never had a boyfriend despite my best efforts and I currently don't have a single prospect.
So what is a 27 year old guy to do on his birthday weekend... I took it off...I didn't work a single job, all weekend. Instead I planned to go out and drink and dance and have a good time. Of course life is never simple and there is always a wrench to be thrown into the plan.
Let's take it day by day shall we:
FRIDAY
I wasn't really sure where I was going to go or who I was going to go out with, but I was determined to do something fun. So I left work late, per usual, went to the gym and then headed home to eat and get dressed. As I was eating, one of my regular hook up buddies hit me up.
What you all need to know about this regular fb, let's call him LOC (Lawyer Of Color) is that the last time we fooled around I found out that he has a boyfriend. After multiple hook ups with LOC, he finally told me that he has had a boyfriend for 16 years and that they have been living together since 2006. Per LOC they are in an open relationship and it is completely okay to sleep with others. However, LOC spent the night the last time he came over and received multiple text messages from his boyfriend/common law husband in the morning. That seems to be a pretty normal reaction, but what was strange is that LOC didn't simply say that he fell asleep at the house of his hook up, instead he said that he was at another friend's home. Why lie if it was okay and you had an arrangement? It seemed odd, but I decided to let it go. I wasn't looking to make him my husband so what do I care about the logistics of his own long term relationship.
I tell you this to explain that on Friday night when LOC hit me up, I told him that he could come by, but I was going out. He was excited to go out because in his relationship state this apparently does not happen that frequently. We ultimately decided to go to Paradise and he came to my place so we could uber together. Then as I was getting ready he proceeded to get somewhere between 5 and 20 text messages. None of them were happy. I decided I would give him a few minutes to call his hubby and I encouraged him to tell his hubby to join us at the bar. I figured if there really were in an open relationship it would be fine. Then about 10 minutes later and uber became unnecessary because his hubby was coming to pick us up and drive us and accompany us to the bar. Cut to perhaps the most awkward car ride of my life. I sat in the back, alone and was talked about while in the car by both LOC and his husband. OH yes a full on tense conversation that I tried to intersperse with funny anecdotes or stories, which received no response from either party. I may as well have talked to myself.
When we finally got to the club, I immediately headed for the bar, where much to my surprise LOC's Hubby bought me a drink. Finally after two scotch and waters the hubby started to become talkative. It was probably half an hour into a rather typical night at Paradise when one of the other guys I have recently been dating walked in.
The other guy (who waltzed into the awkward night that was me as the third wheel to LOC's marriage) is a young black opera singer originally from the South. He is super nice, has a great singing voice, and an ass that you could bounce a quarter off. He is currently in grad school and working at one of the local colleges while still managing to go on auditions. I will call him Southern Divo for the blog for obvious reasons.
Well Southern Divo was not alone. He brought with him ProfAK. ProfAK was Southern Divo's voice teacher while he was in undergrad at a school in Arkansas. Apparently the professor and his student had hooked up after the professor finally left his wife. The two of them were now getting together in the city of Boston and decided to come to Paradise.....of course, where else would such a relationship be tolerated. To describe ProfAK I need only say he is exactly what you would picture a recently out southern opera voice teacher to look like, complete with spectacles, pale white skin, and large grandpa sweater despite being rather handsome.
Well the odd couple ended up joining the odd thruple on the dance floor and we actually had a pretty good night. It was a weird combination of jealousy and drama for me though. I guess I have been out of the gay club scene for a while and forgot how messy things can get when alcohol and emotions are involved. Ultimately I spent my night alternating between flirting and dancing with Southern Divo and LOC while ProfAK and LOC's Hubby were alternately flirting with me and giving me the evil eye. I felt a little like both sets of guys were competing to see who I might go home and have a threesome with, which was really strange.
When the club finally closed, LOC and Hubby were barely speaking to each other, but both wanted me to get in a car and go home with them. I politely shot them both down, insisting that I was going to take public transit so they didn't have to go out of their way to drive me home.
Then somewhere between the exit of Paradise and Mass Ave (not even a city block) I decided I would invite Southern Divo and ProfAK to brunch with me the next morning. Naturally when they agreed I also invited them to spend the night at my place since my roommate was away.
********************************NSFW***************************************
One thing led to another and before I knew it both Southern Divo and ProfAK were naked in my bed and we were fooling around. In no time we went from harmlessly making out with each other to seeing which one of us was most adept at shoving two cocks in their mouth at the same time.
You would think having two men that specialize in opera and vocal performance that they would both be able to open their mouths wide and really just go for it, but I ended up being the double stuff champ....who knew....(let's be honest...I did....if there is one thing that I have learned in the two years that I have been away its that I really love sucking dick and sometimes a passion for cock sucking is even better than the most skilled tongue). '
After a few hours of mostly oral, handjobs, and fingering, no one was ponying up to get fucked. I don't think that any of us had really planned on having anal sex that night and none was willing to take a time out to get ready. Eventually I started to get sleepy and I decided enough was enough and one by one, I shoved my finger in an asshole and swirled my tongue around a dick head and watched two giant loads shoot across bare chests. It was really hot and fun, but I was exhausted and it was bed time. I threw each of them a towel and then shimmied myself in between Southern Divo as the littlest spoon and ProfAK as the big spoon, still hard, but not wanting to let my horniness subside. I figured the minute I came I would instantly regret the almost threesome and I didn't want to ruin the moment.
We all fell asleep within minutes and did not wake up until my phone buzzed with a text message from one of the programs I am in charge of to let me know that one of my patients was brought to the ED. I hopped out of bed, read the text message and as I was crawling back in between the two men in my bed I realized that ProfAK was up and horny. I think having recently come out, this was probably the first all male threesome he had ever experienced and was still raring to go from the night before. I placated him, making out with him and giving him a handjob before ultimately shoving my middle finger up his ass, finding his prostate and gently tapping it until he shot a second load all over himself.
While he was in the bathroom cleaning up Southern Divo woke up and thanked me for the night before...he also thanked me for taking care of his professor this morning without him because "I'm not really into him and I'm afraid he thinks that I am going to want something."
********************************************SFW*********************************
Around 10:30a we all started to wake up again to the warnings about the snowfall. While I have a car and don't mind driving in the city I decided that I would rather not drive in the snow to brunch especially since I really wanted a bloody mary. Both Southern Divo and ProfAK went back to Southern Divo's place to get ready and come back to my place to uber to brunch.
SATURDAY
Brunch was largely uneventful and I found myself reveling in the talk of two true opera nerds. The ease with which the professor and his student were able to talk about famous directors, companies, schools, and pieces made me feel like I was in the inner circle and the inner theater kid in me was thrilled! I really do miss performing and every once in while its fun to think about how differently my life would have been if I had pursued musical theater instead of nursing.....but I digress.
My plan for Saturday quickly changed as more and more snow started falling down. Instead of going out to a straight bar and meeting up with one of the nurses I work, I became more and more focused on a guy who started to booty call me around 7p.
Normally, anyone who would booty call me around 7p would automatically be out...for you to be so desperate and so needed so early in the night there would have to be something seriously wrong with you and I just don't need anything else seriously wrong with my life. But, something about the mounting snow Saturday evening somehow made a 7p booty call acceptable.
Then when the guy finally showed up I remembered why I had been so negligent in replying to him the week after Christmas.....his voice was a huge turn off. I know that is a really superficial and bitchy thing to say, but it is the truth. Via text this guy is wicked hot. He is kind of cocky, really aggressive, and has a somewhat expansive vocabulary. In person this guy has not only an effeminate voice, but a really really gay inflection. Now I really don't have a problem with a gay inflection at all...I have dated guys with more than just a lilt to their voice, but they never tried to Dom me. The idea that a Dom Top would have the voice of Beverly Leslie from Will and Grace.
It's a travesty really. Otherwise the guy is pretty hot....not in the traditional rippling muscles sense, but he has a swagger. Ultimately about 5 minutes into sucking his dick I got cold and bored and decided that maybe we should just cuddle and watch a crappy movie instead. Luckily, this guy is on the girthier side and an eater and I had lamb, a roast, and risotto in my fridge to appease him.
We ended up watching this terrible movie on Netflix called Maximum Ride and then simply going to sleep. Sunday morning I woke up again to a text message from my caregivers about one of the patients who was not feeling great in the snow. I responded and promptly ignored Beverly Leslie's pleas to finally get him off. It wasn't until ten o'clock when Beverly Leslie told me that he had called an Uber and was going home that I finally got out of bed and said goodbye. That will surely be the last time that I invite him over. Get tricked by that voice once or twice that's one thing, but more than four times and then you're just a fucking idiot.
SUNDAY
I had intended to spend this day trolling OkCupid or some other dating app for a date this week, but instead the snow inspired a Betty HomoMaker like experience and I ended up making muffins, and bread, and a delicious hearty beef stew. Some days when I spend the whole day alone just cooking and cleaning I find so much joy in what I do that I become ever more ok with being alone forever. I'm not sure if that is a good thing or a bad thing really, only just that its a fact.
I guess the one thing that I am going to take away from this birthday weekend is that going into 27 I am going to take a play out of a television show called Being Mary Jane, everyone in my phone is getting a nick name. Just like I give guys nick names on my blog I am going to start naming them in my phone that way so I don't forget who they are and what I like or don't like about them. Seems silly, but I am hoping that it will help prevent some PLCs like Beverly Leslie from happening again.
Well until next time.
Tchau!!!
So what is a 27 year old guy to do on his birthday weekend... I took it off...I didn't work a single job, all weekend. Instead I planned to go out and drink and dance and have a good time. Of course life is never simple and there is always a wrench to be thrown into the plan.
Let's take it day by day shall we:
FRIDAY
I wasn't really sure where I was going to go or who I was going to go out with, but I was determined to do something fun. So I left work late, per usual, went to the gym and then headed home to eat and get dressed. As I was eating, one of my regular hook up buddies hit me up.
What you all need to know about this regular fb, let's call him LOC (Lawyer Of Color) is that the last time we fooled around I found out that he has a boyfriend. After multiple hook ups with LOC, he finally told me that he has had a boyfriend for 16 years and that they have been living together since 2006. Per LOC they are in an open relationship and it is completely okay to sleep with others. However, LOC spent the night the last time he came over and received multiple text messages from his boyfriend/common law husband in the morning. That seems to be a pretty normal reaction, but what was strange is that LOC didn't simply say that he fell asleep at the house of his hook up, instead he said that he was at another friend's home. Why lie if it was okay and you had an arrangement? It seemed odd, but I decided to let it go. I wasn't looking to make him my husband so what do I care about the logistics of his own long term relationship.
I tell you this to explain that on Friday night when LOC hit me up, I told him that he could come by, but I was going out. He was excited to go out because in his relationship state this apparently does not happen that frequently. We ultimately decided to go to Paradise and he came to my place so we could uber together. Then as I was getting ready he proceeded to get somewhere between 5 and 20 text messages. None of them were happy. I decided I would give him a few minutes to call his hubby and I encouraged him to tell his hubby to join us at the bar. I figured if there really were in an open relationship it would be fine. Then about 10 minutes later and uber became unnecessary because his hubby was coming to pick us up and drive us and accompany us to the bar. Cut to perhaps the most awkward car ride of my life. I sat in the back, alone and was talked about while in the car by both LOC and his husband. OH yes a full on tense conversation that I tried to intersperse with funny anecdotes or stories, which received no response from either party. I may as well have talked to myself.
When we finally got to the club, I immediately headed for the bar, where much to my surprise LOC's Hubby bought me a drink. Finally after two scotch and waters the hubby started to become talkative. It was probably half an hour into a rather typical night at Paradise when one of the other guys I have recently been dating walked in.
The other guy (who waltzed into the awkward night that was me as the third wheel to LOC's marriage) is a young black opera singer originally from the South. He is super nice, has a great singing voice, and an ass that you could bounce a quarter off. He is currently in grad school and working at one of the local colleges while still managing to go on auditions. I will call him Southern Divo for the blog for obvious reasons.
Well Southern Divo was not alone. He brought with him ProfAK. ProfAK was Southern Divo's voice teacher while he was in undergrad at a school in Arkansas. Apparently the professor and his student had hooked up after the professor finally left his wife. The two of them were now getting together in the city of Boston and decided to come to Paradise.....of course, where else would such a relationship be tolerated. To describe ProfAK I need only say he is exactly what you would picture a recently out southern opera voice teacher to look like, complete with spectacles, pale white skin, and large grandpa sweater despite being rather handsome.
Well the odd couple ended up joining the odd thruple on the dance floor and we actually had a pretty good night. It was a weird combination of jealousy and drama for me though. I guess I have been out of the gay club scene for a while and forgot how messy things can get when alcohol and emotions are involved. Ultimately I spent my night alternating between flirting and dancing with Southern Divo and LOC while ProfAK and LOC's Hubby were alternately flirting with me and giving me the evil eye. I felt a little like both sets of guys were competing to see who I might go home and have a threesome with, which was really strange.
When the club finally closed, LOC and Hubby were barely speaking to each other, but both wanted me to get in a car and go home with them. I politely shot them both down, insisting that I was going to take public transit so they didn't have to go out of their way to drive me home.
Then somewhere between the exit of Paradise and Mass Ave (not even a city block) I decided I would invite Southern Divo and ProfAK to brunch with me the next morning. Naturally when they agreed I also invited them to spend the night at my place since my roommate was away.
********************************NSFW***************************************
One thing led to another and before I knew it both Southern Divo and ProfAK were naked in my bed and we were fooling around. In no time we went from harmlessly making out with each other to seeing which one of us was most adept at shoving two cocks in their mouth at the same time.
You would think having two men that specialize in opera and vocal performance that they would both be able to open their mouths wide and really just go for it, but I ended up being the double stuff champ....who knew....(let's be honest...I did....if there is one thing that I have learned in the two years that I have been away its that I really love sucking dick and sometimes a passion for cock sucking is even better than the most skilled tongue). '
After a few hours of mostly oral, handjobs, and fingering, no one was ponying up to get fucked. I don't think that any of us had really planned on having anal sex that night and none was willing to take a time out to get ready. Eventually I started to get sleepy and I decided enough was enough and one by one, I shoved my finger in an asshole and swirled my tongue around a dick head and watched two giant loads shoot across bare chests. It was really hot and fun, but I was exhausted and it was bed time. I threw each of them a towel and then shimmied myself in between Southern Divo as the littlest spoon and ProfAK as the big spoon, still hard, but not wanting to let my horniness subside. I figured the minute I came I would instantly regret the almost threesome and I didn't want to ruin the moment.
We all fell asleep within minutes and did not wake up until my phone buzzed with a text message from one of the programs I am in charge of to let me know that one of my patients was brought to the ED. I hopped out of bed, read the text message and as I was crawling back in between the two men in my bed I realized that ProfAK was up and horny. I think having recently come out, this was probably the first all male threesome he had ever experienced and was still raring to go from the night before. I placated him, making out with him and giving him a handjob before ultimately shoving my middle finger up his ass, finding his prostate and gently tapping it until he shot a second load all over himself.
While he was in the bathroom cleaning up Southern Divo woke up and thanked me for the night before...he also thanked me for taking care of his professor this morning without him because "I'm not really into him and I'm afraid he thinks that I am going to want something."
********************************************SFW*********************************
Around 10:30a we all started to wake up again to the warnings about the snowfall. While I have a car and don't mind driving in the city I decided that I would rather not drive in the snow to brunch especially since I really wanted a bloody mary. Both Southern Divo and ProfAK went back to Southern Divo's place to get ready and come back to my place to uber to brunch.
SATURDAY
Brunch was largely uneventful and I found myself reveling in the talk of two true opera nerds. The ease with which the professor and his student were able to talk about famous directors, companies, schools, and pieces made me feel like I was in the inner circle and the inner theater kid in me was thrilled! I really do miss performing and every once in while its fun to think about how differently my life would have been if I had pursued musical theater instead of nursing.....but I digress.
My plan for Saturday quickly changed as more and more snow started falling down. Instead of going out to a straight bar and meeting up with one of the nurses I work, I became more and more focused on a guy who started to booty call me around 7p.
Normally, anyone who would booty call me around 7p would automatically be out...for you to be so desperate and so needed so early in the night there would have to be something seriously wrong with you and I just don't need anything else seriously wrong with my life. But, something about the mounting snow Saturday evening somehow made a 7p booty call acceptable.
Then when the guy finally showed up I remembered why I had been so negligent in replying to him the week after Christmas.....his voice was a huge turn off. I know that is a really superficial and bitchy thing to say, but it is the truth. Via text this guy is wicked hot. He is kind of cocky, really aggressive, and has a somewhat expansive vocabulary. In person this guy has not only an effeminate voice, but a really really gay inflection. Now I really don't have a problem with a gay inflection at all...I have dated guys with more than just a lilt to their voice, but they never tried to Dom me. The idea that a Dom Top would have the voice of Beverly Leslie from Will and Grace.
It's a travesty really. Otherwise the guy is pretty hot....not in the traditional rippling muscles sense, but he has a swagger. Ultimately about 5 minutes into sucking his dick I got cold and bored and decided that maybe we should just cuddle and watch a crappy movie instead. Luckily, this guy is on the girthier side and an eater and I had lamb, a roast, and risotto in my fridge to appease him.
We ended up watching this terrible movie on Netflix called Maximum Ride and then simply going to sleep. Sunday morning I woke up again to a text message from my caregivers about one of the patients who was not feeling great in the snow. I responded and promptly ignored Beverly Leslie's pleas to finally get him off. It wasn't until ten o'clock when Beverly Leslie told me that he had called an Uber and was going home that I finally got out of bed and said goodbye. That will surely be the last time that I invite him over. Get tricked by that voice once or twice that's one thing, but more than four times and then you're just a fucking idiot.
SUNDAY
I had intended to spend this day trolling OkCupid or some other dating app for a date this week, but instead the snow inspired a Betty HomoMaker like experience and I ended up making muffins, and bread, and a delicious hearty beef stew. Some days when I spend the whole day alone just cooking and cleaning I find so much joy in what I do that I become ever more ok with being alone forever. I'm not sure if that is a good thing or a bad thing really, only just that its a fact.
I guess the one thing that I am going to take away from this birthday weekend is that going into 27 I am going to take a play out of a television show called Being Mary Jane, everyone in my phone is getting a nick name. Just like I give guys nick names on my blog I am going to start naming them in my phone that way so I don't forget who they are and what I like or don't like about them. Seems silly, but I am hoping that it will help prevent some PLCs like Beverly Leslie from happening again.
Well until next time.
Tchau!!!
Sunday, August 17, 2014
Let's Stick with Shakespeare....
As promised here is another update really soon after the first one. I have finally settled on a name for the latest guy, which of course means things are coming to a close, but I have been on a Shakespeare kick lately so let's stick with that shall we...We'll call him Othello.
So Othello is a rather short, black/brown guy, super nice, wicked hot, went to an Ivy League school and is now teaching inner city 6th graders at a charter school. Sounds perfect for me right? Ay, here's the rub....he was a patient of mine a while back....and he had an STD....and then he has been a patient of my clinics at few more times throughout his slut phase....so when he asked me out a little before the 4th of July I was hesitant but excited.
He's the guy that ran into me while I was working on the streets of PTown after my run in with the psychic and I really think I was going to project whatever that psychic had told me on the first guy who looked my way so naturally it was him. We went on a first date when we both got back to Boston; easy, iced coffee and a walk through Boston Common. He was just as nice and genuine as he seemed to be the first few times I saw him. It was at this point I learned that his favorite musical was Aida (anyone who can recall this knows the love of my life will be Radames) and his favorite piece of literature was Othello. That should have tipped me off right there as to how this would end but of course I'm an idiot.
After walking for a while we made our way down to the Coast Guard station in the North End and made out watching the boats roll by....it was super cute and nice. I told him that I liked him so I wanted to take things slow and he thought that was a good idea.
Our second date ended up being sort of odd....I wanted to go out to dinner, but he insisted that he make me dinner at his house. I don't know about any of you but this seemed to be moving super fast to me. Dinner at someone's house usually implies dessert in their bedroom...which believe me I wanted...I was just confused because I thought he was into going slow.
A quick funny aside just to explain to everyone exactly how awkward and ridiculous my dating life can be. I showed up at his apartment and ended up waiting outside for about 10 minutes before he came to the door with someone who was also waiting to go into the apartment next door clearly for a Grindr hook-up (Ah the joys of the South End). Then when I was walking downstairs into the kitchen with my bottle of wine in hand I fucking slipped. Like ass hit every stair on the way down kind of slipped until I was able to recover at the bottom (Fucking slippery Tom's Canvas shoes)....way to make an entrance right? I digress....
Dinner was wonderful...he's a great cook. I sneaked through his Itunes library to find songs he himself was the artist on and a really eclectic library of music. We finished off a bottle of wine and the conversation never really lagged at all. After dinner we ended up kissing and then he wanted to show me his room. Another sure fire sign to me that slow was not on the menu. Needless to say we ended up starting to fool around. I sucked his dick, he sucked mine, and then I sensed between him enjoying my blowjob that there was an issue. So I stopped and he said, "I thought you wanted to take it slow." At this point I agreed that I did and I sat up dick still hard and put my clothes on and apologized.
I don't want to say that it was never my intention to hook up with him because he is fucking gorgeous and that is definitely part of the attraction, but I also know that I am totally able to control myself in these situations and I was getting the sense that perhaps he does not. So I left with a good bye kiss.
That Friday, after texting off and on all week, while he was drunk I got a series of text messages telling me that he was made at me because essentially he felt that I had lied. I defended myself again with my typical, I want to take it slow, but I also don't want to deprive myself if I like someone. We decided that we would have another date on Sunday.
So Sunday came and he pushed off the time of our date due to his hangover from the night before and we ended up going to SOWA. For those not from gay Boston....SOWA is this giant flea market/summer festival/food truck thing that happens in the South End during the summer on Sundays. Its a lot of fun and the two of us really had a good time. He tried on ridiculous shorts, we both ran into people we knew, and we had something quick to drink.
At one point he turned to me and said, "I'm not trying to be rude...I know you're handsome and stuff, but literally everyone is staring at you." Quite frankly I hadn't noticed this at all....I guess I don't realize when gay men look at me anymore because it happens so frequently in Boston. I explained to him that it really had nothing to do with my looks, but rather everyone trying to figure out where they know me from. Its sort of a phenomenon. I will have gay guys on the train or out come up to me trying to figure out where they know me from and nine times out of ten it is from my job as the STD nurse. I have either tested them, treated their partner, or messaged them on one of the myriad gay sex apps to come in for testing. Unfortunately, because some of my patients come in under the influence they have a hard time remembering me in the scrubs. It is what it is I suppose. I explained that to him and he seemed to understand.
The other major occurrence during the SOWA date was as we were walking back to his place. A guy from behind called out his name...It was a typical gay-queen-possessive-he's-mine-and-who-is-this-bitch kind of call out. I didn't even flinch really. I've been in this situation so many times I don't even care. However Othello...FROZE...he looked so uncomfortable I couldn't believe it. The conversation between him and the stranger was almost forced...he did introduce me though. Then as we were walking away he quickly pulled out his phone and sent a text. I could tell he sent a text to his best friend. There was obviously something about this guy. So when we ended up sitting on a bench I point blank asked what the deal was...He lied...naturally..."Oh just the best rimjob I ever had" I told him I knew that wasn't true and that was why he texted his best friend....he relented but I gave him the out and said he didn't have to tell me. He seemed appreciative for the out and definitely took it.
He also seemed to understand the situation from our second date and was okay with it. We then planned a tentative day/time for a next date. Beehive is a nice restaurant in the South End with live music, essentially all the time while you eat. Its really a pretty nice/fun date place. We went here for our fourth date. Unfortunately I was working afterwards so I couldn't really have a drink at all but it was still a good time. However, it was midway through this date that I began to realize that perhaps I was falling harder than he was. Othello definitely bit off more than he could chew and rather than getting jealous was just starting to undermine his own involvement.
During the date I got a mini-freakout because I had made a guess about something in his life, which I was right about and he I think wanted to be more aloof about it from his reaction. Not really a big deal. Then at the end of the date I went in to kiss him before he went on his way and he totally shot me down. He insisted it wasn't me and that he wanted to take it slow and PDA freaked him out. Despite the fact that we had previously made out at the Coast Guard station on a first date. I could see the writing on the wall, but I liked him so rather than bail, which has always been my M.O. in the past I decided to try and stick it out.
After that he went on a trip to TX for a conference and was gone for a week. When I realized he was back from a FB post I decided to see if he was down to hang out. He said he was and we set up a tentative day and time. He ended up bailing, but wanted to reschedule. I should note that after he came back from TX the cute name for me changed from sexy or babe to buddy.....I'm not blind. He bailed on a second reschedule date and then one more time last night on a third reschedule.
So finally with my drunken fortitude I texted him and just asked point blank "Is this a coincidence that you keep bailing or are just not sure how to tell me that you're not into me." The honest drunken response came pretty quickly, "I'm just not into you like that. And the second date killed it, you weren't trying to take it slow." Of course....just when you think a problem is solved it never is. I tried to gracefully bow out. After all I still like him even if he doesn't like me. I can't help it. I think he's nice, attractive, and quirky but sometimes its just not there for both people. I'm honestly happy I know. My final text to him last night went something like this: "Its fine really better to just know....I suspected anyways. I hope you find what you're looking for....you deserve it." I thought it was fine. I thought I had ended it like a grown up.
Then this morning I woke up to a text message at 6 AM (probably post Saturday night hook up) that said, "Ugh...I think you're wonderful. I wanna hang out but I'm not ready to give you what you say you want."
I have NO idea what that means! I am more confused now then I have been in a long time. I don't want to continue to get strung along just so he doesn't have to feel bad about turning away someone he thinks has boyfriend potential. I don't know how or if I should respond to this message...this is definitely going to need some hag advice....but ultimately its like Bonnie Raitt says:
Until Next Time...
Chau!!
So Othello is a rather short, black/brown guy, super nice, wicked hot, went to an Ivy League school and is now teaching inner city 6th graders at a charter school. Sounds perfect for me right? Ay, here's the rub....he was a patient of mine a while back....and he had an STD....and then he has been a patient of my clinics at few more times throughout his slut phase....so when he asked me out a little before the 4th of July I was hesitant but excited.
He's the guy that ran into me while I was working on the streets of PTown after my run in with the psychic and I really think I was going to project whatever that psychic had told me on the first guy who looked my way so naturally it was him. We went on a first date when we both got back to Boston; easy, iced coffee and a walk through Boston Common. He was just as nice and genuine as he seemed to be the first few times I saw him. It was at this point I learned that his favorite musical was Aida (anyone who can recall this knows the love of my life will be Radames) and his favorite piece of literature was Othello. That should have tipped me off right there as to how this would end but of course I'm an idiot.
After walking for a while we made our way down to the Coast Guard station in the North End and made out watching the boats roll by....it was super cute and nice. I told him that I liked him so I wanted to take things slow and he thought that was a good idea.
Our second date ended up being sort of odd....I wanted to go out to dinner, but he insisted that he make me dinner at his house. I don't know about any of you but this seemed to be moving super fast to me. Dinner at someone's house usually implies dessert in their bedroom...which believe me I wanted...I was just confused because I thought he was into going slow.
A quick funny aside just to explain to everyone exactly how awkward and ridiculous my dating life can be. I showed up at his apartment and ended up waiting outside for about 10 minutes before he came to the door with someone who was also waiting to go into the apartment next door clearly for a Grindr hook-up (Ah the joys of the South End). Then when I was walking downstairs into the kitchen with my bottle of wine in hand I fucking slipped. Like ass hit every stair on the way down kind of slipped until I was able to recover at the bottom (Fucking slippery Tom's Canvas shoes)....way to make an entrance right? I digress....
Dinner was wonderful...he's a great cook. I sneaked through his Itunes library to find songs he himself was the artist on and a really eclectic library of music. We finished off a bottle of wine and the conversation never really lagged at all. After dinner we ended up kissing and then he wanted to show me his room. Another sure fire sign to me that slow was not on the menu. Needless to say we ended up starting to fool around. I sucked his dick, he sucked mine, and then I sensed between him enjoying my blowjob that there was an issue. So I stopped and he said, "I thought you wanted to take it slow." At this point I agreed that I did and I sat up dick still hard and put my clothes on and apologized.
I don't want to say that it was never my intention to hook up with him because he is fucking gorgeous and that is definitely part of the attraction, but I also know that I am totally able to control myself in these situations and I was getting the sense that perhaps he does not. So I left with a good bye kiss.
That Friday, after texting off and on all week, while he was drunk I got a series of text messages telling me that he was made at me because essentially he felt that I had lied. I defended myself again with my typical, I want to take it slow, but I also don't want to deprive myself if I like someone. We decided that we would have another date on Sunday.
So Sunday came and he pushed off the time of our date due to his hangover from the night before and we ended up going to SOWA. For those not from gay Boston....SOWA is this giant flea market/summer festival/food truck thing that happens in the South End during the summer on Sundays. Its a lot of fun and the two of us really had a good time. He tried on ridiculous shorts, we both ran into people we knew, and we had something quick to drink.
At one point he turned to me and said, "I'm not trying to be rude...I know you're handsome and stuff, but literally everyone is staring at you." Quite frankly I hadn't noticed this at all....I guess I don't realize when gay men look at me anymore because it happens so frequently in Boston. I explained to him that it really had nothing to do with my looks, but rather everyone trying to figure out where they know me from. Its sort of a phenomenon. I will have gay guys on the train or out come up to me trying to figure out where they know me from and nine times out of ten it is from my job as the STD nurse. I have either tested them, treated their partner, or messaged them on one of the myriad gay sex apps to come in for testing. Unfortunately, because some of my patients come in under the influence they have a hard time remembering me in the scrubs. It is what it is I suppose. I explained that to him and he seemed to understand.
The other major occurrence during the SOWA date was as we were walking back to his place. A guy from behind called out his name...It was a typical gay-queen-possessive-he's-mine-and-who-is-this-bitch kind of call out. I didn't even flinch really. I've been in this situation so many times I don't even care. However Othello...FROZE...he looked so uncomfortable I couldn't believe it. The conversation between him and the stranger was almost forced...he did introduce me though. Then as we were walking away he quickly pulled out his phone and sent a text. I could tell he sent a text to his best friend. There was obviously something about this guy. So when we ended up sitting on a bench I point blank asked what the deal was...He lied...naturally..."Oh just the best rimjob I ever had" I told him I knew that wasn't true and that was why he texted his best friend....he relented but I gave him the out and said he didn't have to tell me. He seemed appreciative for the out and definitely took it.
He also seemed to understand the situation from our second date and was okay with it. We then planned a tentative day/time for a next date. Beehive is a nice restaurant in the South End with live music, essentially all the time while you eat. Its really a pretty nice/fun date place. We went here for our fourth date. Unfortunately I was working afterwards so I couldn't really have a drink at all but it was still a good time. However, it was midway through this date that I began to realize that perhaps I was falling harder than he was. Othello definitely bit off more than he could chew and rather than getting jealous was just starting to undermine his own involvement.
During the date I got a mini-freakout because I had made a guess about something in his life, which I was right about and he I think wanted to be more aloof about it from his reaction. Not really a big deal. Then at the end of the date I went in to kiss him before he went on his way and he totally shot me down. He insisted it wasn't me and that he wanted to take it slow and PDA freaked him out. Despite the fact that we had previously made out at the Coast Guard station on a first date. I could see the writing on the wall, but I liked him so rather than bail, which has always been my M.O. in the past I decided to try and stick it out.
After that he went on a trip to TX for a conference and was gone for a week. When I realized he was back from a FB post I decided to see if he was down to hang out. He said he was and we set up a tentative day and time. He ended up bailing, but wanted to reschedule. I should note that after he came back from TX the cute name for me changed from sexy or babe to buddy.....I'm not blind. He bailed on a second reschedule date and then one more time last night on a third reschedule.
So finally with my drunken fortitude I texted him and just asked point blank "Is this a coincidence that you keep bailing or are just not sure how to tell me that you're not into me." The honest drunken response came pretty quickly, "I'm just not into you like that. And the second date killed it, you weren't trying to take it slow." Of course....just when you think a problem is solved it never is. I tried to gracefully bow out. After all I still like him even if he doesn't like me. I can't help it. I think he's nice, attractive, and quirky but sometimes its just not there for both people. I'm honestly happy I know. My final text to him last night went something like this: "Its fine really better to just know....I suspected anyways. I hope you find what you're looking for....you deserve it." I thought it was fine. I thought I had ended it like a grown up.
Then this morning I woke up to a text message at 6 AM (probably post Saturday night hook up) that said, "Ugh...I think you're wonderful. I wanna hang out but I'm not ready to give you what you say you want."
I have NO idea what that means! I am more confused now then I have been in a long time. I don't want to continue to get strung along just so he doesn't have to feel bad about turning away someone he thinks has boyfriend potential. I don't know how or if I should respond to this message...this is definitely going to need some hag advice....but ultimately its like Bonnie Raitt says:
Until Next Time...
Chau!!
Thursday, August 14, 2014
Friday, December 27, 2013
Crazy Magnet Part Deux
SO as I had told you all things with BRP were over. I had texted him and he seemed to accept everything really well. Then tonight....at about 2:30AM this motherfucker texts me "You clearly weren't that interested, which is cool, but I get it, I'm not your type."
Seriously at 2:30am on a Thursday/Friday after Christmas. I thought you were a grown up with a real job like me. I answered because I thought it might be a patient and then when I read it I couldn't just go back to sleep. I actually answered him. That's right I answered him and said that he actually was my type I just felt guilty I couldn't give him the time I thought he deserved.
As previously discussed here I didn't really feel that way, but I think its a lot better then saying...."on paper you are perfect, everything I've ever imagined my future husband would be, but for some reason there is no spark. I don't see fireworks when we kiss. I don't get lost in your eyes. I don't find myself helplessly checking you out every time you walk away from me." Am I crazy here? I mean I needed to be honest which is why I said we shouldn't see each other, but I don't want to hurt the guy's feelings either because the truth is he is perfect on paper and he is super nice.
The rest of the conversation progressed exactly as you would have imagined. But one thing distinctively caught my eye. In one of the texts he said, "I miss our sex...lol" Anybody remember where they have seen that before??? Maybe with Hickey? How crazy is that? I'm still floored, but it definitely just clued me in to the kind of craziness I am actually dealing with when I talk to this guy.
At around 3am when I realized this texting was going no where fast I even volunteered to let the guy come over to talk it out, which he thankfully denied. He did try to get me to see him tomorrow though. I, THANK GOD, have to work and study for an exam I am taking on Saturday.
I feel bad...the guy is perfect on paper but there is just something off about it....
The perfect example of that is this whole conversation we had tonight. A totally appropriate conversation to have had when I first told you I thought maybe it wasn't a great idea to see each other anymore. But you brought it up almost 2.5 weeks later at 2:30am undoubtedly after coming home drunk from a bar. It's just weird.
I digress....just needed to get that off my chest. I actually have two more updates but they're about people who aren't in the race anymore.
Until Next Time,
Chau!!
Seriously at 2:30am on a Thursday/Friday after Christmas. I thought you were a grown up with a real job like me. I answered because I thought it might be a patient and then when I read it I couldn't just go back to sleep. I actually answered him. That's right I answered him and said that he actually was my type I just felt guilty I couldn't give him the time I thought he deserved.
As previously discussed here I didn't really feel that way, but I think its a lot better then saying...."on paper you are perfect, everything I've ever imagined my future husband would be, but for some reason there is no spark. I don't see fireworks when we kiss. I don't get lost in your eyes. I don't find myself helplessly checking you out every time you walk away from me." Am I crazy here? I mean I needed to be honest which is why I said we shouldn't see each other, but I don't want to hurt the guy's feelings either because the truth is he is perfect on paper and he is super nice.
The rest of the conversation progressed exactly as you would have imagined. But one thing distinctively caught my eye. In one of the texts he said, "I miss our sex...lol" Anybody remember where they have seen that before??? Maybe with Hickey? How crazy is that? I'm still floored, but it definitely just clued me in to the kind of craziness I am actually dealing with when I talk to this guy.
At around 3am when I realized this texting was going no where fast I even volunteered to let the guy come over to talk it out, which he thankfully denied. He did try to get me to see him tomorrow though. I, THANK GOD, have to work and study for an exam I am taking on Saturday.
I feel bad...the guy is perfect on paper but there is just something off about it....
The perfect example of that is this whole conversation we had tonight. A totally appropriate conversation to have had when I first told you I thought maybe it wasn't a great idea to see each other anymore. But you brought it up almost 2.5 weeks later at 2:30am undoubtedly after coming home drunk from a bar. It's just weird.
I digress....just needed to get that off my chest. I actually have two more updates but they're about people who aren't in the race anymore.
Until Next Time,
Chau!!
Sunday, December 8, 2013
A Ginger, A Black-A-Rican, and a Freak!
So I have a few updates. No one new, just some old recycled folks.
I guess I should start with the oldest in the repertoire. This weekend I invited Hickey to come by so we could fool around again. Our Friends with Benefits thing has worked out far better than the two of us dating ever could have. We both have a mutual respect for each other and we both have pretty high standards for who we actually sleep with which is really comforting in a way. For instance, despite the fact that we have both gone out on dates with several people the only people we have had anal sex with in the last four months have been each other.
The other nice thing about the sex with Hickey is that we have both come to the understanding that sex is it. We aren't looking for it to be anything else. We are both really comfortable asking the other to do things sexually to get each other off. The freakier the sex gets, the better it is, and the more we both just really have a good time when we get together. All of the awkwardness from our first Friends with Benefits encounter is officially gone. We both understand what is happening and we have finally settled into a wonderful rhythm of fucking, sucking, and kinking. (I'm not sure if that is a word, but it is now!)
Every once in a while I get this feeling that Hickey is waiting for me to ask him to be my boyfriend, but he always assures me that is not the case. I'm hoping that is true because I could very easily be setting myself up for a repeat of the Panera incident....let's hope that does not happen...again!
The next person that I have updates on is BRP. As I have said before BRP is perfect for me on paper, but there is definitely something off about the whole thing. For this reason while I was away BRP texted me to say hi, but I did not respond. When I finally got back I let him know I was home and that I still had his hat from his night time visit, but I did not hear from him. It wasn't until the Saturday after Thanksgiving that I heard back from him. It was a very short message simply asking when he could retrieve his hat. It was late and I figured it must have been a drunken response to my text so I let him know I was still interested in seeing him.
I got a second equally as curt response. Not being one for passive aggressive games, I flat out asked if he was upset because his messages were so curt and almost bitter. He then went into a long explanation about that not being the case and we set up a time to see each other the next week. I almost had to cancel on him because of a patient emergency, but fortunately I was able to move things around and still make a late night coffee date work.
We met at 1369 Cafe in Inman Square. It was packed so we ended up just getting coffee and walking around Cambridge a little bit. Ultimately, we ended up stopping at a pizza place so he could get food since he still had not eaten and we both wanted a place to sit and talk.
The conversation was very cordial at first, no mention of the curtness from the texts, but I can never leave well enough alone. I picked the scab and before I knew it I was getting the litany of reasons that he was "pissed" not bitter about my lack of response to him while I was away. We had quite a discussion about his gripes with me.
What was really interesting was hearing all of the things that BRP considered red flags about myself.
Let me begin:
1. I'm young
2. I've never been in a relationship
3. I am sexually expressive/adept
4. I ignored him for 2 weeks
5. I am ambitious/driven
He qualified all of these statements with: "I mean you have all of these things which individually are red flags but together they don't bother me." How charming right?
I have to be honest; none of his 5 things surprised me. I recognize them as part of the issues I have in committing to any relationship anyways so the fact that someone finally recognizes them as issues in a relationship with me is something that I just have to come to terms with as I continue dating.
Ultimately, I can't do anything about the fact that I am young. I also could do something about never having been in a relationship, but I won't. I refuse to be in a relationship just to be in a relationship. I don't care if that means I am single for another 20 years. I am waiting for someone I really think is worth it. I could do something about the sexual expressiveness, but I don't want to. I like sex. I enjoy sex. It's fun and I am not going to apologize because I know what I want and I'm good at what I do. I could also do something about the ambition I have related to my career, but I won't. My career and my patients are really important to me and I am not going to change that just to please someone or enter into a relationship. The thing about me ignoring him for 2 weeks...well that I'll own. I definitely could have changed that and I definitely should have.
After he finished eating I offered to drive him home since he had driven me home the last time. I realized that things definitely still weren't right in the car, but I couldn't just send him back into his apartment when we got to his place. I felt like he was looking for an excuse to blow me off or just write me off completely and that annoyed me. I know this is absolutely insane, but I hate the idea that someone would write me off based on those 5 red flags. I felt like I needed to do something to prove he was wrong, even though he wasn't.
I am officially insane! I know and I can't help it. I went in for a kiss literally mid-awkward conversation where it seemed like he didn't want to see me again. I ended up in his apartment and we started making out. He stopped me and insisted that we not hook up. He told me he promised himself he wouldn't do that with me. I was being rejected sexually and I was stunned. I don't like the feeling that someone could just choose not to do something they wanted to. The idea that someone could have that kind of self control around me perturbed me a little bit. So I tried harder. Eventually I won him over and I was blowing him. Then I decided to respect his initial desires and stopped before he came. That was pretty bitchy of me but I couldn't help it. I had to prove the point that my sexual prowess could win him over.
I AM COMPLETELY INSANE!
I then left his apartment and hopped in my car and went home. I ended up seeing him again on Saturday for a cute lunch date in Harvard Square. I was super late (this is becoming a pattern for me unfortunately). We met at Tory Row and sat at the bar.
The restaurant was amazing: a great menu, a great atmosphere, and the bartender had an amazing ass. The fact that I am commenting on the bartender's ass should be a pretty good indicator for how my date went. I can't help but feel bad for how I behaved actually. I was sort of an ass. I was trying to treat him the way I treat a lot of my old friends. I was joking around and sort of making fun of him a little bit, but I'm not sure it really came off the right way. Luckily, this guy likes himself enough, and has a high enough self-esteem, that the whole time I was ribbing him he was pointing out how wrong I was.
When it came time to pay the bill I pulled out my card to pay. He insisted on paying. I said we could split it and he agreed, until the bartender brought over the bill and he literally grabbed my card out of the bartender's hand and gave it back to me. Apparently the bartender thought this guy should pay because he sort of chuckled when I again tried to pay and told me, "Nah let's let him get this one." The whole thing just seemed odd to me. I couldn't tell if the bartender had been listening and felt bad for me or if he somehow thought that this guy should be paying for me for some reason. I decided to let it go and just went to get my jacket.
BRP drove me home and we kissed in the car and I jumped out. He definitely wanted more of kiss, but I couldn't bring myself to sit in front of my house and make out with him like I have in the past. There is still something so off about the whole thing and I can't really put my finger on it.
He texted me again today to hang out, but I was studying so I told him that I would have to pass. He volunteered to come over and help and I told him he would just be a distraction. I got one of those stupid :P faces in response.
The last update I have for everyone is about the IndyGinger. I have still been talking to him almost every day. We talk either via text, facebook messenger, or actual phone call about nothing. Simply talking to him about the paper he needs to write brings a smile to my face. Its so weird. We've talked about the sex stuff we did, but we have yet to truly sext. It's oddly enough just to chat during the week.
One of the most recent calls I got from him lasted for well over 30 minutes. It wasn't the same happy guy that called me though. I finally figured out the problem with the IndyGinger. He is totally insecure. I don't know if its something to do with his family when he was growing up, the city he lives in, or some horrible ex-boyfriend he had but the IndyGinger has no self esteem. He is super concerned that his dick isn't big enough, his body isn't jacked enough, his hair isn't the right way, and that his physical appearance isn't good enough for anyone. It kills me. If he lived here I would date him in a heart beat. I would be really happy to see him as frequently as I could.
He is so eclectic and different that I can't imagine that he could feel so uncomfortable about his body. His muscles are something I could only dream of having and his dick isn't small (its definitely not huge but its nothing to laugh at either). I also learned that the IndyGinger has a history of suicidality. Typical right? Someone who I actually like, someone who I actually feel the need to continue to speak with despite being miles away from each other, thinks that they need to hurt themselves. I don't really know what to do. I am going to keep talking to him, because I can't help myself. I am also going to send him my copy of El Alquimista.
He is really into speaking/learning Spanish. He's not great, but he seems to really like it. I think that coupled with his lack of self-esteem just make it seem like he needs to read the book. Its a great story about accepting yourself for the gift you are and realizing what you already have and its something he needs to figure out. I feel like I want to save him. Again, its crazy, I know it, but I just can't help it.
So here I sit...blogging and watching reruns of the X Factor. I don't know what I'm doing. The more I try and be open and make things work the more confused I seem to get. For now I am just going to avoid analyzing anything. I am just going to accept things as they come. I am going to continue to do things that make me happy.
Well I guess that's it for now. Per usual if anyone has any advice feel free to send me a message or put a comment below.
Until Later,
Chau!!
I guess I should start with the oldest in the repertoire. This weekend I invited Hickey to come by so we could fool around again. Our Friends with Benefits thing has worked out far better than the two of us dating ever could have. We both have a mutual respect for each other and we both have pretty high standards for who we actually sleep with which is really comforting in a way. For instance, despite the fact that we have both gone out on dates with several people the only people we have had anal sex with in the last four months have been each other.
The other nice thing about the sex with Hickey is that we have both come to the understanding that sex is it. We aren't looking for it to be anything else. We are both really comfortable asking the other to do things sexually to get each other off. The freakier the sex gets, the better it is, and the more we both just really have a good time when we get together. All of the awkwardness from our first Friends with Benefits encounter is officially gone. We both understand what is happening and we have finally settled into a wonderful rhythm of fucking, sucking, and kinking. (I'm not sure if that is a word, but it is now!)
Every once in a while I get this feeling that Hickey is waiting for me to ask him to be my boyfriend, but he always assures me that is not the case. I'm hoping that is true because I could very easily be setting myself up for a repeat of the Panera incident....let's hope that does not happen...again!
The next person that I have updates on is BRP. As I have said before BRP is perfect for me on paper, but there is definitely something off about the whole thing. For this reason while I was away BRP texted me to say hi, but I did not respond. When I finally got back I let him know I was home and that I still had his hat from his night time visit, but I did not hear from him. It wasn't until the Saturday after Thanksgiving that I heard back from him. It was a very short message simply asking when he could retrieve his hat. It was late and I figured it must have been a drunken response to my text so I let him know I was still interested in seeing him.
I got a second equally as curt response. Not being one for passive aggressive games, I flat out asked if he was upset because his messages were so curt and almost bitter. He then went into a long explanation about that not being the case and we set up a time to see each other the next week. I almost had to cancel on him because of a patient emergency, but fortunately I was able to move things around and still make a late night coffee date work.
We met at 1369 Cafe in Inman Square. It was packed so we ended up just getting coffee and walking around Cambridge a little bit. Ultimately, we ended up stopping at a pizza place so he could get food since he still had not eaten and we both wanted a place to sit and talk.
The conversation was very cordial at first, no mention of the curtness from the texts, but I can never leave well enough alone. I picked the scab and before I knew it I was getting the litany of reasons that he was "pissed" not bitter about my lack of response to him while I was away. We had quite a discussion about his gripes with me.
What was really interesting was hearing all of the things that BRP considered red flags about myself.
Let me begin:
1. I'm young
2. I've never been in a relationship
3. I am sexually expressive/adept
4. I ignored him for 2 weeks
5. I am ambitious/driven
He qualified all of these statements with: "I mean you have all of these things which individually are red flags but together they don't bother me." How charming right?
I have to be honest; none of his 5 things surprised me. I recognize them as part of the issues I have in committing to any relationship anyways so the fact that someone finally recognizes them as issues in a relationship with me is something that I just have to come to terms with as I continue dating.
Ultimately, I can't do anything about the fact that I am young. I also could do something about never having been in a relationship, but I won't. I refuse to be in a relationship just to be in a relationship. I don't care if that means I am single for another 20 years. I am waiting for someone I really think is worth it. I could do something about the sexual expressiveness, but I don't want to. I like sex. I enjoy sex. It's fun and I am not going to apologize because I know what I want and I'm good at what I do. I could also do something about the ambition I have related to my career, but I won't. My career and my patients are really important to me and I am not going to change that just to please someone or enter into a relationship. The thing about me ignoring him for 2 weeks...well that I'll own. I definitely could have changed that and I definitely should have.
After he finished eating I offered to drive him home since he had driven me home the last time. I realized that things definitely still weren't right in the car, but I couldn't just send him back into his apartment when we got to his place. I felt like he was looking for an excuse to blow me off or just write me off completely and that annoyed me. I know this is absolutely insane, but I hate the idea that someone would write me off based on those 5 red flags. I felt like I needed to do something to prove he was wrong, even though he wasn't.
I am officially insane! I know and I can't help it. I went in for a kiss literally mid-awkward conversation where it seemed like he didn't want to see me again. I ended up in his apartment and we started making out. He stopped me and insisted that we not hook up. He told me he promised himself he wouldn't do that with me. I was being rejected sexually and I was stunned. I don't like the feeling that someone could just choose not to do something they wanted to. The idea that someone could have that kind of self control around me perturbed me a little bit. So I tried harder. Eventually I won him over and I was blowing him. Then I decided to respect his initial desires and stopped before he came. That was pretty bitchy of me but I couldn't help it. I had to prove the point that my sexual prowess could win him over.
I AM COMPLETELY INSANE!
I then left his apartment and hopped in my car and went home. I ended up seeing him again on Saturday for a cute lunch date in Harvard Square. I was super late (this is becoming a pattern for me unfortunately). We met at Tory Row and sat at the bar.
The restaurant was amazing: a great menu, a great atmosphere, and the bartender had an amazing ass. The fact that I am commenting on the bartender's ass should be a pretty good indicator for how my date went. I can't help but feel bad for how I behaved actually. I was sort of an ass. I was trying to treat him the way I treat a lot of my old friends. I was joking around and sort of making fun of him a little bit, but I'm not sure it really came off the right way. Luckily, this guy likes himself enough, and has a high enough self-esteem, that the whole time I was ribbing him he was pointing out how wrong I was.
When it came time to pay the bill I pulled out my card to pay. He insisted on paying. I said we could split it and he agreed, until the bartender brought over the bill and he literally grabbed my card out of the bartender's hand and gave it back to me. Apparently the bartender thought this guy should pay because he sort of chuckled when I again tried to pay and told me, "Nah let's let him get this one." The whole thing just seemed odd to me. I couldn't tell if the bartender had been listening and felt bad for me or if he somehow thought that this guy should be paying for me for some reason. I decided to let it go and just went to get my jacket.
BRP drove me home and we kissed in the car and I jumped out. He definitely wanted more of kiss, but I couldn't bring myself to sit in front of my house and make out with him like I have in the past. There is still something so off about the whole thing and I can't really put my finger on it.
He texted me again today to hang out, but I was studying so I told him that I would have to pass. He volunteered to come over and help and I told him he would just be a distraction. I got one of those stupid :P faces in response.
The last update I have for everyone is about the IndyGinger. I have still been talking to him almost every day. We talk either via text, facebook messenger, or actual phone call about nothing. Simply talking to him about the paper he needs to write brings a smile to my face. Its so weird. We've talked about the sex stuff we did, but we have yet to truly sext. It's oddly enough just to chat during the week.
One of the most recent calls I got from him lasted for well over 30 minutes. It wasn't the same happy guy that called me though. I finally figured out the problem with the IndyGinger. He is totally insecure. I don't know if its something to do with his family when he was growing up, the city he lives in, or some horrible ex-boyfriend he had but the IndyGinger has no self esteem. He is super concerned that his dick isn't big enough, his body isn't jacked enough, his hair isn't the right way, and that his physical appearance isn't good enough for anyone. It kills me. If he lived here I would date him in a heart beat. I would be really happy to see him as frequently as I could.
He is so eclectic and different that I can't imagine that he could feel so uncomfortable about his body. His muscles are something I could only dream of having and his dick isn't small (its definitely not huge but its nothing to laugh at either). I also learned that the IndyGinger has a history of suicidality. Typical right? Someone who I actually like, someone who I actually feel the need to continue to speak with despite being miles away from each other, thinks that they need to hurt themselves. I don't really know what to do. I am going to keep talking to him, because I can't help myself. I am also going to send him my copy of El Alquimista.
He is really into speaking/learning Spanish. He's not great, but he seems to really like it. I think that coupled with his lack of self-esteem just make it seem like he needs to read the book. Its a great story about accepting yourself for the gift you are and realizing what you already have and its something he needs to figure out. I feel like I want to save him. Again, its crazy, I know it, but I just can't help it.
So here I sit...blogging and watching reruns of the X Factor. I don't know what I'm doing. The more I try and be open and make things work the more confused I seem to get. For now I am just going to avoid analyzing anything. I am just going to accept things as they come. I am going to continue to do things that make me happy.
Well I guess that's it for now. Per usual if anyone has any advice feel free to send me a message or put a comment below.
Until Later,
Chau!!
Sunday, November 24, 2013
WTF Indy??
My trip to Indianapolis was a total success on a lot of different levels. First I was there for an amazing nursing conference. I learned a lot. I got to schmooze with a lot of really big names in nursing. I was inspired to continue my education ASAP. I didn't feel alone in the world of nursing academia for once.
The other success of my trip to Indy was a guy that I met. We met the first night that I was there and saw each other basically everyday I was in the city...
Let's start with some basic facts. I met the guy and we ended up together in my hotel room pretty shortly after I met him. He was cute, 27, a ginger, has long pony-tail length hair, nice body, pale as a ghost, and beautiful grey eyes. Think cast member from the revival of Hair...We ended up kissing pretty soon after meeting and I noticed the pentagram necklace around his neck. So I of course just had to ask. Mid tongue exploration of my mouth he told me that he was a witch.
Yes....a real witch. I asked him what he meant and he proceeded to tell me how he was a practitioner of Wiccan. I'm not one to judge so we continued making out. I was originally going to base his nickname off of this fact, but he asked that I not use his religion in making up his nickname so he is going to just be the IndyGinger.
***********************NSFW************************
Making out quickly turned to more... Before I really knew what was going on the IndyGinger had dropped to his knees and was undoing my pants asking me to throat fuck him. Now before this post goes any further I have to sort of put together a disclaimer. I am all about having good, safe, fun sexually. So if someone wants me to fuck their throat who am I to judge or not accommodate.
So we started fooling around and things got really dirty in a good way really fast. Eventually I figured that he could use a break and we started talking some more. The conversation was again so natural and so easy I couldn't believe it. I learned about a column he writes for a paper about horoscopes. He has two jobs on top of that. He is the oldest of seven....originally from Kentucky. Yes he has an accent...and is a self-proclaimed hillbilly...What was great is that after the talking he was just as into going back to the rough oral sex as I was.
The other amazing thing about hooking up with the IndyGinger is that he liked having fun while we fooled around. So he made a game of trying to guess my last name, my birth date, my astrological sign but involving the oral sex. It was honestly so much fun and hot all at the same time. We continued on in this way for a while until he finally wanted me to cum. I explained that I couldn't cum first and he made a quizzical face but just proceeded on. He grabbed my ass and shoved my dick as far down his throat as he could and he came within a minute barely touching his own cock. He then continued sucking me off until I came myself minutes later.
************************SFW*************************
We showered and he suggested that we do food or something. I agree for a lot of reasons, but mostly because the conversation had been good and the oral was awesome too. We headed to the grocery store to buy snacks, but ultimately decided that going to a diner for breakfast food would be the better option at this point. We walked into a diner called Peppy's which actually a fairly famous Indy landmark for locals.
Basically think Merlotte's from True Blood, but with less thick southern accents, and only white people. What was surreal is that I was sitting their with an out gay witch. It really was like an episode of True Blood in some ways. The cooks/waitstaff were phenomenal and joked around with both the IndyGinger and me. Then as we were about to head out it started pouring rain. As were walking back to the car he stopped me and kissed me in the rain. There was just something so very right about the whole thing.
The next day he texted me about going out to dinner. I agreed because after the convention was over there wasn't much for me to do anyway. Plus...he was cute, nice, different, and into me. Probably an hour before we were supposed to meet he asked if I would mind going to his place for dinner. I didn't have any objections so I figured it would be okay...I did make sure my friends from home knew though so I would be getting and giving text message updates...I was actually really excited to have met a nice guy for a change.
He picked me up and we went to his house...which he rents alone with the money from his three jobs...oh and did I mention he is in college too...he wants to go to med school to become a D.O. Immediately he started making dinner and I got to look around the house.
First let me say the house smelled AMAZING!! I'm not sure what it would feel like for a nose to have an orgasm, but if its possible mine may have had one, from the smell of the oils, the candles, and the food that was being cooked my nose was on total overdrive.
Secondly, the house definitely had a Wiccan vibe. I mean besides the altar room where he practiced, there was definitely signs of his religion throughout the house. From the paintings, to the sculptures, to the plants, to the furniture, everything was unique and had a flair of Charmed about it.
Finally in the kitchen it was very much like I had stepped into a hippy's place in Cambridge. Home grown and dried herbs, organic food, distilled water, everything looked as though it was right out of a home owned by a college professor and his wife. Dinner was chicken in a tumeric and garlic sauce, cous cous, and baked diced potatoes...DELICIOUS! He could cook and I was thrilled.
Conversation throughout dinner flowed just as easily as it had the day before our dinner date. Nothing seemed forced or contrived. It was just easy. I enjoyed hearing about his life and he was interested in mine.
After dinner we snuggled up on the couch and watched a crappy James Franco like we had been a couple for years. I laid on him and then when I got sick of that he just snuggled up into the crook of my arm. The movie ended and he offered to let me stay at his place. I thought about it and decided that it would be okay. So I went up to his room and we hopped into bed and simply fell asleep. Nothing sexual at all....just spooning.
We woke up a little late the next morning and he was actually late to work...but he insisted on driving me to the door of the hotel to make sure I made it there safely....which made him later to work. Despite his efforts to see me that night I insisted that he stay home and do his homework and sleep. He had to work after all and still had things to do for school...but we ended up texting back and forth all night.
The next day the effort to see me doubled and I relented. Though I blamed his own school work on my reasoning for not seeing him the day before a lot of the reason I didn't want to see him was because I was really beginning to like him and I knew I was leaving the coming Wednesday. My own desire to see the IndyGinger overcame my fear that I might actually miss him when I left.
************************NSFW***********************
He came over and we were talking and then making out and then fooling around and then he said he wanted me to fuck him. I had condoms...always prepared...just like a girl scout....my Mama taught me right....so I agreed. Unfortunately, he definitely was not use to bottoming. We waited and waited for him to adjust but it just didn't seem to be happening...so I said, "Listen if its not happening that's okay. We don't have to have sex." He looked totally dejected so I offered to bottom, but that just made him look more upset. I then insisted that we stop trying to have anal sex because the oral sex we had been having was so good. He agreed and we kept fooling around.
We again played a game this time involving him learning Spanish. It was fun and sexy and it just worked. Everything about us hooking up just worked. When we both finally came we showered and again started having some pillow talk.
*************************SFW************************
It was at this point that I brought up the fact that I was leaving. Neither one of us really wanted to talk about it. Neither one of us had a very good understanding of what was going to happen after I left. In discussing my trip home we both revealed that we had talked about each other with our friends from home. His friends, a girl and a former pornstar, couldn't believe that I was real. My friends felt the same way about him.
We also had the discussion about what would happen if I wasn't leaving the next day. We were both totally agreed that we would be dating. I'm sure that if he lived in Cambridge instead of Indianapolis I would make an effort to continue to see him and date him. Should that change though because of the distance? Neither one of us was sure. He finally left with a passionate kiss and a peck good bye. The minute he had walked out the door I could tell I was going to miss him.
Isn't that completely insane? I knew someone for four days and on my trip home I knew I was going to miss them. I swear I am losing my mind. I have been home for four days now and have spoken with him every day.
Yesterday I got this text: "So....I really miss you...a lot...lol. No joke"
I didn't even know how to respond. I miss him too. I let him know that I was willing to continue talking but I wasn't sure exactly how this would work. He agreed that for now texting and phone calls were probably the best idea since he doesn't have skype.
He called me today and we talked on the phone for at least 20 minutes. We didn't talk about anything particularly important: how our weeks had gone, how my trip home went, and other things we had talked to our friends about. The subject of how/if we should keep talking came up again and we both agreed for the second time that texting and a regular phone call would suffice for now.
I'm really unsure of how to proceed at this point. I've NEVER been in this predicament before in my life. I should not like this guy based on what he looks like on paper. He is from Indy, he is weird, he is from Indianapolis, and he is a hillbilly at heart, not to mention his religion. I can't help the fact that I still like talking to him. I smile every time I get a text message from him. The craziest thing is I have only known him for a little over a week and I feel this way.
I guess for now I am going to tread carefully. I don't know what the right decisions in this situation are and I don't think anyone really does. So I am going to keep and open mind, take one day at a time, and just see what happens. Who knows? Maybe the IndyGinger is the reason I was supposed to go to Indianapolis in the first place.
Until Next Time....
Chau!!
The other success of my trip to Indy was a guy that I met. We met the first night that I was there and saw each other basically everyday I was in the city...
Let's start with some basic facts. I met the guy and we ended up together in my hotel room pretty shortly after I met him. He was cute, 27, a ginger, has long pony-tail length hair, nice body, pale as a ghost, and beautiful grey eyes. Think cast member from the revival of Hair...We ended up kissing pretty soon after meeting and I noticed the pentagram necklace around his neck. So I of course just had to ask. Mid tongue exploration of my mouth he told me that he was a witch.
Yes....a real witch. I asked him what he meant and he proceeded to tell me how he was a practitioner of Wiccan. I'm not one to judge so we continued making out. I was originally going to base his nickname off of this fact, but he asked that I not use his religion in making up his nickname so he is going to just be the IndyGinger.
***********************NSFW************************
Making out quickly turned to more... Before I really knew what was going on the IndyGinger had dropped to his knees and was undoing my pants asking me to throat fuck him. Now before this post goes any further I have to sort of put together a disclaimer. I am all about having good, safe, fun sexually. So if someone wants me to fuck their throat who am I to judge or not accommodate.
So we started fooling around and things got really dirty in a good way really fast. Eventually I figured that he could use a break and we started talking some more. The conversation was again so natural and so easy I couldn't believe it. I learned about a column he writes for a paper about horoscopes. He has two jobs on top of that. He is the oldest of seven....originally from Kentucky. Yes he has an accent...and is a self-proclaimed hillbilly...What was great is that after the talking he was just as into going back to the rough oral sex as I was.
The other amazing thing about hooking up with the IndyGinger is that he liked having fun while we fooled around. So he made a game of trying to guess my last name, my birth date, my astrological sign but involving the oral sex. It was honestly so much fun and hot all at the same time. We continued on in this way for a while until he finally wanted me to cum. I explained that I couldn't cum first and he made a quizzical face but just proceeded on. He grabbed my ass and shoved my dick as far down his throat as he could and he came within a minute barely touching his own cock. He then continued sucking me off until I came myself minutes later.
************************SFW*************************
We showered and he suggested that we do food or something. I agree for a lot of reasons, but mostly because the conversation had been good and the oral was awesome too. We headed to the grocery store to buy snacks, but ultimately decided that going to a diner for breakfast food would be the better option at this point. We walked into a diner called Peppy's which actually a fairly famous Indy landmark for locals.
Basically think Merlotte's from True Blood, but with less thick southern accents, and only white people. What was surreal is that I was sitting their with an out gay witch. It really was like an episode of True Blood in some ways. The cooks/waitstaff were phenomenal and joked around with both the IndyGinger and me. Then as we were about to head out it started pouring rain. As were walking back to the car he stopped me and kissed me in the rain. There was just something so very right about the whole thing.
The next day he texted me about going out to dinner. I agreed because after the convention was over there wasn't much for me to do anyway. Plus...he was cute, nice, different, and into me. Probably an hour before we were supposed to meet he asked if I would mind going to his place for dinner. I didn't have any objections so I figured it would be okay...I did make sure my friends from home knew though so I would be getting and giving text message updates...I was actually really excited to have met a nice guy for a change.
He picked me up and we went to his house...which he rents alone with the money from his three jobs...oh and did I mention he is in college too...he wants to go to med school to become a D.O. Immediately he started making dinner and I got to look around the house.
First let me say the house smelled AMAZING!! I'm not sure what it would feel like for a nose to have an orgasm, but if its possible mine may have had one, from the smell of the oils, the candles, and the food that was being cooked my nose was on total overdrive.
Secondly, the house definitely had a Wiccan vibe. I mean besides the altar room where he practiced, there was definitely signs of his religion throughout the house. From the paintings, to the sculptures, to the plants, to the furniture, everything was unique and had a flair of Charmed about it.
Finally in the kitchen it was very much like I had stepped into a hippy's place in Cambridge. Home grown and dried herbs, organic food, distilled water, everything looked as though it was right out of a home owned by a college professor and his wife. Dinner was chicken in a tumeric and garlic sauce, cous cous, and baked diced potatoes...DELICIOUS! He could cook and I was thrilled.
Conversation throughout dinner flowed just as easily as it had the day before our dinner date. Nothing seemed forced or contrived. It was just easy. I enjoyed hearing about his life and he was interested in mine.
After dinner we snuggled up on the couch and watched a crappy James Franco like we had been a couple for years. I laid on him and then when I got sick of that he just snuggled up into the crook of my arm. The movie ended and he offered to let me stay at his place. I thought about it and decided that it would be okay. So I went up to his room and we hopped into bed and simply fell asleep. Nothing sexual at all....just spooning.
We woke up a little late the next morning and he was actually late to work...but he insisted on driving me to the door of the hotel to make sure I made it there safely....which made him later to work. Despite his efforts to see me that night I insisted that he stay home and do his homework and sleep. He had to work after all and still had things to do for school...but we ended up texting back and forth all night.
The next day the effort to see me doubled and I relented. Though I blamed his own school work on my reasoning for not seeing him the day before a lot of the reason I didn't want to see him was because I was really beginning to like him and I knew I was leaving the coming Wednesday. My own desire to see the IndyGinger overcame my fear that I might actually miss him when I left.
************************NSFW***********************
He came over and we were talking and then making out and then fooling around and then he said he wanted me to fuck him. I had condoms...always prepared...just like a girl scout....my Mama taught me right....so I agreed. Unfortunately, he definitely was not use to bottoming. We waited and waited for him to adjust but it just didn't seem to be happening...so I said, "Listen if its not happening that's okay. We don't have to have sex." He looked totally dejected so I offered to bottom, but that just made him look more upset. I then insisted that we stop trying to have anal sex because the oral sex we had been having was so good. He agreed and we kept fooling around.
We again played a game this time involving him learning Spanish. It was fun and sexy and it just worked. Everything about us hooking up just worked. When we both finally came we showered and again started having some pillow talk.
*************************SFW************************
It was at this point that I brought up the fact that I was leaving. Neither one of us really wanted to talk about it. Neither one of us had a very good understanding of what was going to happen after I left. In discussing my trip home we both revealed that we had talked about each other with our friends from home. His friends, a girl and a former pornstar, couldn't believe that I was real. My friends felt the same way about him.
We also had the discussion about what would happen if I wasn't leaving the next day. We were both totally agreed that we would be dating. I'm sure that if he lived in Cambridge instead of Indianapolis I would make an effort to continue to see him and date him. Should that change though because of the distance? Neither one of us was sure. He finally left with a passionate kiss and a peck good bye. The minute he had walked out the door I could tell I was going to miss him.
Isn't that completely insane? I knew someone for four days and on my trip home I knew I was going to miss them. I swear I am losing my mind. I have been home for four days now and have spoken with him every day.
Yesterday I got this text: "So....I really miss you...a lot...lol. No joke"
I didn't even know how to respond. I miss him too. I let him know that I was willing to continue talking but I wasn't sure exactly how this would work. He agreed that for now texting and phone calls were probably the best idea since he doesn't have skype.
He called me today and we talked on the phone for at least 20 minutes. We didn't talk about anything particularly important: how our weeks had gone, how my trip home went, and other things we had talked to our friends about. The subject of how/if we should keep talking came up again and we both agreed for the second time that texting and a regular phone call would suffice for now.
I'm really unsure of how to proceed at this point. I've NEVER been in this predicament before in my life. I should not like this guy based on what he looks like on paper. He is from Indy, he is weird, he is from Indianapolis, and he is a hillbilly at heart, not to mention his religion. I can't help the fact that I still like talking to him. I smile every time I get a text message from him. The craziest thing is I have only known him for a little over a week and I feel this way.
I guess for now I am going to tread carefully. I don't know what the right decisions in this situation are and I don't think anyone really does. So I am going to keep and open mind, take one day at a time, and just see what happens. Who knows? Maybe the IndyGinger is the reason I was supposed to go to Indianapolis in the first place.
Until Next Time....
Chau!!
Monday, September 30, 2013
Grave Robbing Just In Time For Halloween
If you haven't already guessed the newest guy is a little bit older than me.... I was born in the year 1990....He was not....He was born in 1975. This means that I am 23 and he is 37.
According to the standard age limit equation for the Lower Limit used by most people in America (Half your Age + 7) I am a little too young for him. His lower limit is 25.5. However, when you use the standard age limit equation for the Upper Limit (Double your Age - 7) He is within the acceptable age range for me. SO the math says this whole situation is really only half fucked up so its fine. Nevertheless, I'm going to call this guy Geri for a few reasons. One I like the simplicity of the name it matches the simplicity of his name in real life too. Two its short for geriatric...which is not really funny because 37 is not that old, but its a little amusing because technically he is closer in age to my mother than he is to me.
But let's get down to the nitty gritty shall we. Geri is a tall bald white guy. He has blue eyes, a scruffy beard, a nice smile, and a pretty good dresser.
Geri asked me out initially while I was working and I totally blew him off. But he was persistent and asked me out a second time and I....once again blew him off understanding that we had a pretty big age gap between the two of us. I don't really think he understood how young I was in comparison. Then he asked me out a third time directly for dinner or drinks and my first date rule kicked in. Prior to his third invitation he had never actually asked me out on a date so I felt no obligation to actually go. Then he did and I remembered that I have my one rule for dating....if someone has the balls to ask you out then you owe them at least a first date.
I agreed to a date, but not to dinner because I didn't want to commit myself to more than I could handle. Geri lives in Dorchester and I now live on the other side of the city so we decided we would meet halfway for both of us at Fajitas and Ritas downtown and split a pitcher of margaritas with the understand that if things went well we could always get another pitcher or some food.
I was of course running late for the date because of the stupid Red Line, but I texted ahead and let him know the situation. He understood and I as I walked through the door and saw him sitting at the bar I realized it was the first time he had ever seen me not in scrubs and I immediately regretted procrastinating buying a new untattered/unfrayed pair of jeans.
We decided pretty quickly to sit at one of the tables and get some appetizers because I hadn't eaten all day because I got called in to the office to deal with a patient. Everything went really well so we got a second pitcher of margaritas and split a few more nachos, just cheese and guac (I'm sure people thought we were ridiculous but they were delicious). Toward the end of the meal he admitted the dirty secret that he smoked cigarettes and asked if I would join him while he had a post food cigarette. I agreed and walked with him outside. While standing outside he revealed that he was half French Canadian and while this meant he could speak fluent French it also meant that he smoked at least his fair share of cigarettes. We went back into the restaurant after his cigarette and on the way in he grabbed my ass...which for some reason I didn't really find creepy, it way more playful than anything. I paid because I felt bad that I was late.
Geri then offered to go to a place in the North End for another drink. I was a little hesitant but ultimately I was having a really good time. We ended up going to the sister restaurant of the one he works at in the Back Bay. It was super swanky. We had a few drinks, a group of people bought us some shots just for being friendly, we ordered some food, and then we started talking with the young married couple next to us. They were asking all sorts of benign questions and then asked how long we had been together and where we had met. We both sort of froze and looked at each other and laughed while we almost simultaneously said, "Well its our first date."
Despite the rather obvious faux pax the conversation continued about different Boston goings-on, basic national news coverage, and favorite travel destinations. It was in the latter part of the conversation that Geri made a sort of offhand comment that he would love to take me to Montreal with him. I smiled and pretended like it hadn't happened, but I simply cannot overlook the fact that it was our first date and he was already planning a couples trip to Canada. After a two minute recovery period I got my wits back and quickly changed the subject to the giant rock sitting on the ring finger of the young bride.
This time Geri paid the bill and we headed out. I was planning on trying to get back to Davis Square before the T closed when I realized that it was not even 9:30 yet. We had covered a lot of ground not because the date was bad but because we had met at a little over 5p. Geri suggested we go to the Alley for a drink. I feigned resistance, but ultimately we went to the Alley for a beer. I was the youngest person there by at least 20 years if you don't count my date. I needed to pee and I headed to the bathroom....luckily Geri followed me in and picked the urinal right beside me. I am still unsure if it was because he needed to pee or if it was because he wanted to make sure that nothing happened to me in the bathroom of the sketchy old gay bar he wanted to go to.
Finally we left the Alley and started to head back toward the T and he offered to have me come back to his place. I was hesistant and I think its because he knew I didn't want to just go back and fuck him so he said, "No just come back, we won't have sex we will just watch a movie and cuddle and maybe kiss." How could I say no to that right?
On our way to the T we passed a young homeless man holding a change sign. Geri actually stopped brought the guy into Subway and bought him a sandwich, a cookie, and a drink and bought cookies for each of us too. Then Geri without batting an eye said, "Yea and you give him your card so you can help him." I was the most turned I had been in probably a year at the moment in the middle of the Subway.
We ended up back at his place and it really was a pretty uneventful sleepover. I blew him and he blew me and then we went to bed and passed out in each other's arms. The next morning I got at least 4 text messages and two calls from work and not once did he have anything to negative to say about it at all. Finally around 12 I left and headed home. I probably got home around 1 with a detour or two to grab a coffee on the way back to the apartment where all of my roomies were waiting for the stories from the night before. Mid-Storytelling my phone rang, it was Geri calling to make sure that I made it home safely. I was FLOORED!! He is just such a grown up and I am so ready to fake it! But I digress...we have another date coming up tomorrow so I will update you all then.
Chau!!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)