According to the standard age limit equation for the Lower Limit used by most people in America (Half your Age + 7) I am a little too young for him. His lower limit is 25.5. However, when you use the standard age limit equation for the Upper Limit (Double your Age - 7) He is within the acceptable age range for me. SO the math says this whole situation is really only half fucked up so its fine. Nevertheless, I'm going to call this guy Geri for a few reasons. One I like the simplicity of the name it matches the simplicity of his name in real life too. Two its short for geriatric...which is not really funny because 37 is not that old, but its a little amusing because technically he is closer in age to my mother than he is to me.
But let's get down to the nitty gritty shall we. Geri is a tall bald white guy. He has blue eyes, a scruffy beard, a nice smile, and a pretty good dresser.
Geri asked me out initially while I was working and I totally blew him off. But he was persistent and asked me out a second time and I....once again blew him off understanding that we had a pretty big age gap between the two of us. I don't really think he understood how young I was in comparison. Then he asked me out a third time directly for dinner or drinks and my first date rule kicked in. Prior to his third invitation he had never actually asked me out on a date so I felt no obligation to actually go. Then he did and I remembered that I have my one rule for dating....if someone has the balls to ask you out then you owe them at least a first date.
I agreed to a date, but not to dinner because I didn't want to commit myself to more than I could handle. Geri lives in Dorchester and I now live on the other side of the city so we decided we would meet halfway for both of us at Fajitas and Ritas downtown and split a pitcher of margaritas with the understand that if things went well we could always get another pitcher or some food.
I was of course running late for the date because of the stupid Red Line, but I texted ahead and let him know the situation. He understood and I as I walked through the door and saw him sitting at the bar I realized it was the first time he had ever seen me not in scrubs and I immediately regretted procrastinating buying a new untattered/unfrayed pair of jeans.
We decided pretty quickly to sit at one of the tables and get some appetizers because I hadn't eaten all day because I got called in to the office to deal with a patient. Everything went really well so we got a second pitcher of margaritas and split a few more nachos, just cheese and guac (I'm sure people thought we were ridiculous but they were delicious). Toward the end of the meal he admitted the dirty secret that he smoked cigarettes and asked if I would join him while he had a post food cigarette. I agreed and walked with him outside. While standing outside he revealed that he was half French Canadian and while this meant he could speak fluent French it also meant that he smoked at least his fair share of cigarettes. We went back into the restaurant after his cigarette and on the way in he grabbed my ass...which for some reason I didn't really find creepy, it way more playful than anything. I paid because I felt bad that I was late.
Geri then offered to go to a place in the North End for another drink. I was a little hesitant but ultimately I was having a really good time. We ended up going to the sister restaurant of the one he works at in the Back Bay. It was super swanky. We had a few drinks, a group of people bought us some shots just for being friendly, we ordered some food, and then we started talking with the young married couple next to us. They were asking all sorts of benign questions and then asked how long we had been together and where we had met. We both sort of froze and looked at each other and laughed while we almost simultaneously said, "Well its our first date."
Despite the rather obvious faux pax the conversation continued about different Boston goings-on, basic national news coverage, and favorite travel destinations. It was in the latter part of the conversation that Geri made a sort of offhand comment that he would love to take me to Montreal with him. I smiled and pretended like it hadn't happened, but I simply cannot overlook the fact that it was our first date and he was already planning a couples trip to Canada. After a two minute recovery period I got my wits back and quickly changed the subject to the giant rock sitting on the ring finger of the young bride.
This time Geri paid the bill and we headed out. I was planning on trying to get back to Davis Square before the T closed when I realized that it was not even 9:30 yet. We had covered a lot of ground not because the date was bad but because we had met at a little over 5p. Geri suggested we go to the Alley for a drink. I feigned resistance, but ultimately we went to the Alley for a beer. I was the youngest person there by at least 20 years if you don't count my date. I needed to pee and I headed to the bathroom....luckily Geri followed me in and picked the urinal right beside me. I am still unsure if it was because he needed to pee or if it was because he wanted to make sure that nothing happened to me in the bathroom of the sketchy old gay bar he wanted to go to.
Finally we left the Alley and started to head back toward the T and he offered to have me come back to his place. I was hesistant and I think its because he knew I didn't want to just go back and fuck him so he said, "No just come back, we won't have sex we will just watch a movie and cuddle and maybe kiss." How could I say no to that right?
On our way to the T we passed a young homeless man holding a change sign. Geri actually stopped brought the guy into Subway and bought him a sandwich, a cookie, and a drink and bought cookies for each of us too. Then Geri without batting an eye said, "Yea and you give him your card so you can help him." I was the most turned I had been in probably a year at the moment in the middle of the Subway.
We ended up back at his place and it really was a pretty uneventful sleepover. I blew him and he blew me and then we went to bed and passed out in each other's arms. The next morning I got at least 4 text messages and two calls from work and not once did he have anything to negative to say about it at all. Finally around 12 I left and headed home. I probably got home around 1 with a detour or two to grab a coffee on the way back to the apartment where all of my roomies were waiting for the stories from the night before. Mid-Storytelling my phone rang, it was Geri calling to make sure that I made it home safely. I was FLOORED!! He is just such a grown up and I am so ready to fake it! But I digress...we have another date coming up tomorrow so I will update you all then.
Chau!!
