SO as I had told you all things with BRP were over. I had texted him and he seemed to accept everything really well. Then tonight....at about 2:30AM this motherfucker texts me "You clearly weren't that interested, which is cool, but I get it, I'm not your type."
Seriously at 2:30am on a Thursday/Friday after Christmas. I thought you were a grown up with a real job like me. I answered because I thought it might be a patient and then when I read it I couldn't just go back to sleep. I actually answered him. That's right I answered him and said that he actually was my type I just felt guilty I couldn't give him the time I thought he deserved.
As previously discussed here I didn't really feel that way, but I think its a lot better then saying...."on paper you are perfect, everything I've ever imagined my future husband would be, but for some reason there is no spark. I don't see fireworks when we kiss. I don't get lost in your eyes. I don't find myself helplessly checking you out every time you walk away from me." Am I crazy here? I mean I needed to be honest which is why I said we shouldn't see each other, but I don't want to hurt the guy's feelings either because the truth is he is perfect on paper and he is super nice.
The rest of the conversation progressed exactly as you would have imagined. But one thing distinctively caught my eye. In one of the texts he said, "I miss our sex...lol" Anybody remember where they have seen that before??? Maybe with Hickey? How crazy is that? I'm still floored, but it definitely just clued me in to the kind of craziness I am actually dealing with when I talk to this guy.
At around 3am when I realized this texting was going no where fast I even volunteered to let the guy come over to talk it out, which he thankfully denied. He did try to get me to see him tomorrow though. I, THANK GOD, have to work and study for an exam I am taking on Saturday.
I feel bad...the guy is perfect on paper but there is just something off about it....
The perfect example of that is this whole conversation we had tonight. A totally appropriate conversation to have had when I first told you I thought maybe it wasn't a great idea to see each other anymore. But you brought it up almost 2.5 weeks later at 2:30am undoubtedly after coming home drunk from a bar. It's just weird.
I digress....just needed to get that off my chest. I actually have two more updates but they're about people who aren't in the race anymore.
Until Next Time,
Chau!!
Showing posts with label crazy magnet. Show all posts
Showing posts with label crazy magnet. Show all posts
Friday, December 27, 2013
Wednesday, October 2, 2013
Two Cups of Crazy and a Side of CuckooCachoo
Geri is no more.....Is anyone surprised???
Well here is the story for all of you so you can feel better about your own lives. After our first date Geri called me and was interested in seeing me again. The first date went so well I jumped at the opportunity. He wanted to me to come by on Sunday evening after his work shift for ice cream and a movie. At first I wasn't huge on the idea because I thought it seemed like I was going to become a booty call, but I eventually gave in and agreed. Then that night I got a call from Geri and he wanted to reschedule for Monday during the day because he didn't want me to get the wrong impression. He realized that a second date of me coming to his place at 11pm might give the wrong impression. I was ecstatic! I quickly agreed to the Monday date, because for once I had Monday off, and we threw around some ideas and settled on apple picking.
Monday came and I got a call bright and early but I couldn't really understand him over the phone, but we settled on a time so I started doing some stuff for my patients and then I was going to head over. On my way to his place I called once again to let him know I was on my way and again I kept misunderstanding him over the phone. When I got to his place it did not look exactly how I remembered. It was not a really pretty old Victorian home in Dorchester, but rather an older Victorian in need of refurbishment on the brink of the hood. But who am I to judge a book by its cover?
So I called him again and he told me he was going to meet me at the front door...and he hoped I didn't mind he was in his underwear. To be honest....I was definitely intrigued and then I saw the underwear he was wearing. A pair of old tighty whities with holes in them and a black wife beater with an almost equal number of holes. I want you all to have a good picture of this in your head....they weren't sexy you can see some of my ass or dick kind of holes...they were I live in a trailer and can't afford new underwear kind of holes. Again though I thought...no its fine I am going to let this go maybe it will be fine. I even ignored the fact that he was on the phone with someone else and didn't say hi so much as he nodded approval and started walking up the stairs.
When we finally got in his apartment he led me to the kitchen where he finally got off the phone and went in for a kiss. I sort of begrudgingly gave him one and I noticed some red stuff on his lips that I couldn't quite make out. Then as he continued talking I realized that he was slurring a little bit. Almost immediately after that he began making scrambled eggs and rice and I realized that he was stumbling a little bit and that his breath when I kissed him smelled of something familiar....Geri was drunk and it was only 11a on a Monday.
I tried to figure out if he was drunk and began asking some questions that sort of beat around the bush and before long Geri simply revealed..."I'm drunk from last night. I went out with a bunch of co-workers and then came home and got high with my roommates."
I was completely taken aback. It hit me as soon as he said it that the previous night was not about being respectful with me but more likely that he got a better offer with his co-workers. But again who am I to judge we had only been on one date and I suppose it was possible he had woken up drunk.
Then he offered me a Bloody Mary which I refused because it was too early. We finished breakfast and we began kissing again and ended up in his bedroom. I was hoping that he would sober up and then we would be able to go apple picking like we planned. Then mid-hooking up he left and went to the kitchen presumably to get a glass of water and came back with a half consumed Bloody Mary. I couldn't believe it. I was really turned off.
We started hooking up again despite my own issues and then I noticed a mole on his dick and I may have said something about the potential for HPV. He became indignant and made me inspect his penis in the light to see that it was in fact a mole. Then he became aggravated that I could not shut off my nurse hat for 3 minutes and stood up from bed. I thought the situation had gotten significantly awkward so I moved to put on some clothes and suavely make my exit. And I was informed rather gruffly that I should stay and he was going to have a cigarette and would be back. I then made a move to at least put my underwear on because I thought the hooking up portion of the day was over and was again rather curtly told..."Don't do that, we're adults we can disagree and I can have a cigarette and then we can get back to that."
I wasn't really sure what to do. I mean I didn't hate making out with him or fooling around but I definitely was getting less attracted to him as the time went on. So I stayed and we continued to hook up. He attempted to get me to cum....and I assured him that it wasn't going to happen, but he persevered and eventually after he came and left me to my own devices I was able to get off. He then threw me a towel and I cleaned off. Then he said that he needed to shower, because he hadn't yet that day, and that after that we should go apple picking.
My reservations were compounding as the minutes passed and I knew apple picking was going to take longer than I wanted. Meanwhile he was planning dinner and breakfast the next morning. I needed an alternative to apple picking and a way out. Both came to me rather quickly, fortunately I have been in these need to get away situations before and have some tried and true Get Out of Date Free Cards to play. Based on the lovely weather and the fact that we were in Dorchester I suggested that we go for a walk to Castle Island. Then I also threw out that my roommate was potentially breaking up with her boyfriend and I might need to go home to help her cope with the break up. That was when the wonderfully old man-isms started flying, "Should I call the WHAAAAMBULANCE for her?"
He did eventually agree that the beach might be a good idea but he expressed his disappointment with not being able to "chuck" apples at me. I chuckled despite the fact that I was less than unamused. It was requested that I go and sit on the porch while he showered so I didn't have to observe his getting ready ritual. I happily headed out to the porch where I was able to see one of Geri's cute neighbors washing his car. Then after about 25 minutes he came back onto the porch more intoxicated than he had been prior to his shower.
We headed out to the beach and I was shocked at how intoxicated he actually was. He was staggering walking next to me and to be honest I was surprised he could find his way to the beach. We stopped to grab coffee on the way to the beach because I thought that maybe some other liquid in his system would help, but I was completely embarrassed by the fact that he couldn't even stand in one spot without leaning on the counter.
When we finally arrived at the beach he had suggested I realized that it was the old Stab N' Kill where Whitey use to dump his bodies. Sitting along the beach a man walking a dog came by and knew Geri. They had what must have been a 5-10 minute conversation that was very flirty but never once was I introduced. The guy's dog actually paid more attention to me more than either Geri or the mystery man.
He finally left and Geri explained that the mystery man was his ex-boyfriend who broke his heart. He also told me that he had spent the night with him the day before our date. That was pretty much the final straw. I needed to get out of there so I faked a text message from my friend saying that she was on her way home and needed me and a bottle of wine. Then he told me on our walk home that my friend sounded like she was "Two Cups of Crazy and a Side of CuckooCachoo" and I couldn't help but think, Someone in this situation is but I'm not sure its my friend.
On the walk home we passed a home for the mentally disabled and he drunkenly slurred out, "Yea that's the retard house. I had a friend with Down Syndrome in high school, we use to give him so much shit." I was now completely horrified and I began walking with a purpose. When we got back to his car he said something to the effect of, "Well I will just have to get other dinner plans for tonight, maybe I will even fuck them." Then he went in for a final kiss. I tried to make it a peck and then his tongue invaded my mouth and I had no other choice. I got in my car without a single look back, put on Quittin' Time and sped home.
All of my roommates were there and we ordered four pizzas and put away a few beers and a bottle of wine while watching Moulin Rouge. Is there really more you could ask of roommates. SO for now I guess its back to the drawing board. I will carefully avoid calls and make sure he knows its over but I will not be going on another date.
For now I guess that is all I have to report. If anyone has any suggestions on places to find normal men I am an open book feel free to let me know.
Chau!!
Well here is the story for all of you so you can feel better about your own lives. After our first date Geri called me and was interested in seeing me again. The first date went so well I jumped at the opportunity. He wanted to me to come by on Sunday evening after his work shift for ice cream and a movie. At first I wasn't huge on the idea because I thought it seemed like I was going to become a booty call, but I eventually gave in and agreed. Then that night I got a call from Geri and he wanted to reschedule for Monday during the day because he didn't want me to get the wrong impression. He realized that a second date of me coming to his place at 11pm might give the wrong impression. I was ecstatic! I quickly agreed to the Monday date, because for once I had Monday off, and we threw around some ideas and settled on apple picking.
Monday came and I got a call bright and early but I couldn't really understand him over the phone, but we settled on a time so I started doing some stuff for my patients and then I was going to head over. On my way to his place I called once again to let him know I was on my way and again I kept misunderstanding him over the phone. When I got to his place it did not look exactly how I remembered. It was not a really pretty old Victorian home in Dorchester, but rather an older Victorian in need of refurbishment on the brink of the hood. But who am I to judge a book by its cover?
So I called him again and he told me he was going to meet me at the front door...and he hoped I didn't mind he was in his underwear. To be honest....I was definitely intrigued and then I saw the underwear he was wearing. A pair of old tighty whities with holes in them and a black wife beater with an almost equal number of holes. I want you all to have a good picture of this in your head....they weren't sexy you can see some of my ass or dick kind of holes...they were I live in a trailer and can't afford new underwear kind of holes. Again though I thought...no its fine I am going to let this go maybe it will be fine. I even ignored the fact that he was on the phone with someone else and didn't say hi so much as he nodded approval and started walking up the stairs.
When we finally got in his apartment he led me to the kitchen where he finally got off the phone and went in for a kiss. I sort of begrudgingly gave him one and I noticed some red stuff on his lips that I couldn't quite make out. Then as he continued talking I realized that he was slurring a little bit. Almost immediately after that he began making scrambled eggs and rice and I realized that he was stumbling a little bit and that his breath when I kissed him smelled of something familiar....Geri was drunk and it was only 11a on a Monday.
I tried to figure out if he was drunk and began asking some questions that sort of beat around the bush and before long Geri simply revealed..."I'm drunk from last night. I went out with a bunch of co-workers and then came home and got high with my roommates."
I was completely taken aback. It hit me as soon as he said it that the previous night was not about being respectful with me but more likely that he got a better offer with his co-workers. But again who am I to judge we had only been on one date and I suppose it was possible he had woken up drunk.
Then he offered me a Bloody Mary which I refused because it was too early. We finished breakfast and we began kissing again and ended up in his bedroom. I was hoping that he would sober up and then we would be able to go apple picking like we planned. Then mid-hooking up he left and went to the kitchen presumably to get a glass of water and came back with a half consumed Bloody Mary. I couldn't believe it. I was really turned off.
We started hooking up again despite my own issues and then I noticed a mole on his dick and I may have said something about the potential for HPV. He became indignant and made me inspect his penis in the light to see that it was in fact a mole. Then he became aggravated that I could not shut off my nurse hat for 3 minutes and stood up from bed. I thought the situation had gotten significantly awkward so I moved to put on some clothes and suavely make my exit. And I was informed rather gruffly that I should stay and he was going to have a cigarette and would be back. I then made a move to at least put my underwear on because I thought the hooking up portion of the day was over and was again rather curtly told..."Don't do that, we're adults we can disagree and I can have a cigarette and then we can get back to that."
I wasn't really sure what to do. I mean I didn't hate making out with him or fooling around but I definitely was getting less attracted to him as the time went on. So I stayed and we continued to hook up. He attempted to get me to cum....and I assured him that it wasn't going to happen, but he persevered and eventually after he came and left me to my own devices I was able to get off. He then threw me a towel and I cleaned off. Then he said that he needed to shower, because he hadn't yet that day, and that after that we should go apple picking.
My reservations were compounding as the minutes passed and I knew apple picking was going to take longer than I wanted. Meanwhile he was planning dinner and breakfast the next morning. I needed an alternative to apple picking and a way out. Both came to me rather quickly, fortunately I have been in these need to get away situations before and have some tried and true Get Out of Date Free Cards to play. Based on the lovely weather and the fact that we were in Dorchester I suggested that we go for a walk to Castle Island. Then I also threw out that my roommate was potentially breaking up with her boyfriend and I might need to go home to help her cope with the break up. That was when the wonderfully old man-isms started flying, "Should I call the WHAAAAMBULANCE for her?"
He did eventually agree that the beach might be a good idea but he expressed his disappointment with not being able to "chuck" apples at me. I chuckled despite the fact that I was less than unamused. It was requested that I go and sit on the porch while he showered so I didn't have to observe his getting ready ritual. I happily headed out to the porch where I was able to see one of Geri's cute neighbors washing his car. Then after about 25 minutes he came back onto the porch more intoxicated than he had been prior to his shower.
We headed out to the beach and I was shocked at how intoxicated he actually was. He was staggering walking next to me and to be honest I was surprised he could find his way to the beach. We stopped to grab coffee on the way to the beach because I thought that maybe some other liquid in his system would help, but I was completely embarrassed by the fact that he couldn't even stand in one spot without leaning on the counter.
When we finally arrived at the beach he had suggested I realized that it was the old Stab N' Kill where Whitey use to dump his bodies. Sitting along the beach a man walking a dog came by and knew Geri. They had what must have been a 5-10 minute conversation that was very flirty but never once was I introduced. The guy's dog actually paid more attention to me more than either Geri or the mystery man.
He finally left and Geri explained that the mystery man was his ex-boyfriend who broke his heart. He also told me that he had spent the night with him the day before our date. That was pretty much the final straw. I needed to get out of there so I faked a text message from my friend saying that she was on her way home and needed me and a bottle of wine. Then he told me on our walk home that my friend sounded like she was "Two Cups of Crazy and a Side of CuckooCachoo" and I couldn't help but think, Someone in this situation is but I'm not sure its my friend.
On the walk home we passed a home for the mentally disabled and he drunkenly slurred out, "Yea that's the retard house. I had a friend with Down Syndrome in high school, we use to give him so much shit." I was now completely horrified and I began walking with a purpose. When we got back to his car he said something to the effect of, "Well I will just have to get other dinner plans for tonight, maybe I will even fuck them." Then he went in for a final kiss. I tried to make it a peck and then his tongue invaded my mouth and I had no other choice. I got in my car without a single look back, put on Quittin' Time and sped home.
All of my roommates were there and we ordered four pizzas and put away a few beers and a bottle of wine while watching Moulin Rouge. Is there really more you could ask of roommates. SO for now I guess its back to the drawing board. I will carefully avoid calls and make sure he knows its over but I will not be going on another date.
For now I guess that is all I have to report. If anyone has any suggestions on places to find normal men I am an open book feel free to let me know.
Chau!!
Monday, July 15, 2013
S/P PTown
Its been a week since I got back from PTown and I still have not reported on the goings on yet....so here goes nothing I guess...
The very first night I ended up spending all alone in this giant Brady Bunch style house waiting for all of my coworkers to arrive.....Wait I don't think I explained this yet....So its like a working vacation. A group of the nurses I work with, along with support staff, phlebotomists, registration, and other, all venture down to PTown rent a house and do free STD/HIV testing for a week. Its a little like Scrubs meets the Real World but televised on Logo if that even makes sense. I digress...so I am the first one in the house and instead of going out and being crazy I decided to take it easy. I got dinner but then I just went home and read...How boring I know, but exactly what I needed before the week began.
And then it started. We saw a ton of patients throughout the course of 5 days....there were probably only one or two that I was actually attracted to and they weren't my patients so it actually worked out rather nicely for me, I got to look and not feel guilty for checking out my patient.
We always do a big clinic on the day of the Fourth of July. This year was no different. An organization we work with usually gets together a group of attractive guys to try and find us patients clad in very little clothing. Again this year was no different. What was different is one of the outreach workers kept hitting on me. He was probably 6 feet tall, muscular, very hairy, very blue collar, wearing a blue bandana on his head and let's just say his speedo-runneth-over.
The first time he made a comment about me I totally ignored it. I figured it was all in good fun since it was in front of a group of the outreach workers, no harm no foul. Then he made another comment as he was walking by me almost under his breath. It was at that point I thought he might actually be serious. After the clinic we all, nurses and outreach workers went out to dinner together. I purposely sat at the opposite end of the table as the outreach workers surrounded by fellow nurses. Throughout the course of dinner several of the nurses chided me about being bitchy due to my lack of action lately and I chided back that we couldn't all be lucky enough to be married and get it regularly. Then as dinner was coming to a close one of the other nurses really wanted me to go out with her and meet her cousin. Seeing as I was still in scrubs and it was Ptown I thought this probably wasn't the best idea....I mean who goes out in scrubs in Ptown.
Cut to me a few shots later being goaded by my boss and the other nurses and the outreach workers to go out for just one drink. Eventually I broke down and agreed and who of course was right by my side the minute I made the decision to go out but the burly outreach worker....let's call him Trailer Pump (I'll explain later). The few of us made our way to the Crown and Anchor where of course the Trailer Pump began pretty aggressively making moves and I can't say I was hating it....it was also here that I began to see the familiar pattern reemerge.
Trailer Pump didn't have anything to drink at the bar because he was in recovery. From what you ask??? So did I and I give you the same answer I got.....EVERYTHING! Great!! However, on the bright side, I was invited along with another nurse to go along with Trailer Pump to visit four of his sponsees at one of the other places. He had sponsees, not just one but several.....that must mean that he is solid in his recovery from everything....right??? That's what I thought too.
At some point we ended up back at his place, a trailer in the campground right next to the house we rent, for a fire. When we arrived I was still having pretty mixed feelings about the whole situation...he was an outreach worker with a substance abuse history, but he was clean, had sponsors, and there was just something about him.....Then he started building the fire....I mean literally tearing pieces of wood apart with his bare hands completely shirtless....he could have come straight out of some old gay porn....It was hot! I couldn't deny it.
So we made our way inside the trailer and that's when I saw to the right of the bed the giant pump bottle of lube. That's right the Costco size bottle of lube! Talk about a RED FUCKING FLAG! It was at that point that I started laying down the ground rules. "WE are NOT HAVING SEX! Just not going to happen we can fool around, but we have to work together tomorrow and you have a giant pump bottle of lube so its just not happening." He nodded his head as he understood.
Then almost on cue he smiled and laughed and said....well let me show you the bathing suit I am wearing tomorrow then. That's when I got the full show. The BIGGEST shock...the speedo that runneth over was the result of a pretty tight cockring not an enormous cock. I should have known better. Things continued on...we fooled around a bit he got really into rimming me despite the fact that I told him I was not going to reciprocate the favor, "I fucking don't care I love the way it tastes"....I'm telling you there is something about a man's man who is just that aggressive that really does it for me every once and a while.
After an hour or so of fooling around I decided I needed to speed things along so I began pulling out some of my tricks and ultimately just ended up asking him what I could do to hasten the situation....and then I got the other really fun answer of the night...."Well if I can't fuck you can I fuck your thighs?"
I was dumbfounded....no one had ever asked me to do that before.....EVER! It gives a whole new meaning to the phrase there is a lot you can do without going all the way. I played soccer for years so I would say I have pretty strong thighs and he was really into it. So he laid down a towel, lubed up my thighs, and just had at it. It lasted all of about 2 minutes and that is being generous....then he came all over my inner thighs. He then flipped me over and began licking them like they were the best thing he'd ever tasted. Who knew? He went out for a cigarette and insisted he would finish me when he got back in. Then he put on a my scrubs which barely fit him and headed outside (sort of looked like this). I really do think he had some kind of a nurse fetish...but besides that he came back in and was true to his word about finishing me off.
Laying in a pose, with a similar amount of body hair, similar to the famous photo of Burt Reynold's in People, the post-orgasm pillow talk that every guy I hook up with seems to be so fond of began. He started talking about his ex-boyfriend and his life in St. Louis. The more he talked the happier I became that I had insisted we didn't have sex. This guy had quite the life and definitely brought with him enough baggage to sink the Titanic. That being said there was something sweet about him and trusting me to know all this stuff....I feel like no matter what is going on in my life things always come back to me being a nurse....I wish that would stop sometimes. I mean not all the time, I just wish I got a break every once in a great blue moon from that.
Eventually I got the guy to bring me back to the house as everyone else was already home at this point and I was going to need some rest for the clinic the next day. I slept and a few of the other nurses who had gone out with us and left me with Trailer Pump asked how things went. I informed them that nothing much had happened and we moved on with our day and headed to clinic.
When Trailer Pump arrived I got one of the most confused greetings I have ever received in my entire life. He hugged me and went in for a kiss, which I of course cheeked as I was at work and didn't really think that was appropriate especially from an outreach worker I had really just met the previous day. As the day progressed I was swamped with patients and Trailer Pump was clearly unhappy that I was not paying him the attention that I was paying to my patients and then all of a sudden he was gone. I didn't see where he went and I have no idea what happened. All I know is one of the other nurses thinks that they saw him and he appeared to be rather high....I'm hoping that this isn't the case....I feel like if the guy was going to relapse he was going to do it whether or not I paid him any attention....right?? At least that is what I am telling myself.
The rest of the trip went off without a hitch. I spent some time at the beach. I had brunch and went shopping with a few of the nurses and just generally enjoyed the atmosphere of Commercial St. during the day and chose to ignore the debuacherous ambience that tends to accompany the moonlight hours on Commercial.
All in all it was a pretty fun trip. I had just enough fun to tide me over for a little while and made arguably no PLCs.....Not bad....
I guess until next time!
Chau!
The very first night I ended up spending all alone in this giant Brady Bunch style house waiting for all of my coworkers to arrive.....Wait I don't think I explained this yet....So its like a working vacation. A group of the nurses I work with, along with support staff, phlebotomists, registration, and other, all venture down to PTown rent a house and do free STD/HIV testing for a week. Its a little like Scrubs meets the Real World but televised on Logo if that even makes sense. I digress...so I am the first one in the house and instead of going out and being crazy I decided to take it easy. I got dinner but then I just went home and read...How boring I know, but exactly what I needed before the week began.
And then it started. We saw a ton of patients throughout the course of 5 days....there were probably only one or two that I was actually attracted to and they weren't my patients so it actually worked out rather nicely for me, I got to look and not feel guilty for checking out my patient.
We always do a big clinic on the day of the Fourth of July. This year was no different. An organization we work with usually gets together a group of attractive guys to try and find us patients clad in very little clothing. Again this year was no different. What was different is one of the outreach workers kept hitting on me. He was probably 6 feet tall, muscular, very hairy, very blue collar, wearing a blue bandana on his head and let's just say his speedo-runneth-over.
The first time he made a comment about me I totally ignored it. I figured it was all in good fun since it was in front of a group of the outreach workers, no harm no foul. Then he made another comment as he was walking by me almost under his breath. It was at that point I thought he might actually be serious. After the clinic we all, nurses and outreach workers went out to dinner together. I purposely sat at the opposite end of the table as the outreach workers surrounded by fellow nurses. Throughout the course of dinner several of the nurses chided me about being bitchy due to my lack of action lately and I chided back that we couldn't all be lucky enough to be married and get it regularly. Then as dinner was coming to a close one of the other nurses really wanted me to go out with her and meet her cousin. Seeing as I was still in scrubs and it was Ptown I thought this probably wasn't the best idea....I mean who goes out in scrubs in Ptown.
Cut to me a few shots later being goaded by my boss and the other nurses and the outreach workers to go out for just one drink. Eventually I broke down and agreed and who of course was right by my side the minute I made the decision to go out but the burly outreach worker....let's call him Trailer Pump (I'll explain later). The few of us made our way to the Crown and Anchor where of course the Trailer Pump began pretty aggressively making moves and I can't say I was hating it....it was also here that I began to see the familiar pattern reemerge.
Trailer Pump didn't have anything to drink at the bar because he was in recovery. From what you ask??? So did I and I give you the same answer I got.....EVERYTHING! Great!! However, on the bright side, I was invited along with another nurse to go along with Trailer Pump to visit four of his sponsees at one of the other places. He had sponsees, not just one but several.....that must mean that he is solid in his recovery from everything....right??? That's what I thought too.
At some point we ended up back at his place, a trailer in the campground right next to the house we rent, for a fire. When we arrived I was still having pretty mixed feelings about the whole situation...he was an outreach worker with a substance abuse history, but he was clean, had sponsors, and there was just something about him.....Then he started building the fire....I mean literally tearing pieces of wood apart with his bare hands completely shirtless....he could have come straight out of some old gay porn....It was hot! I couldn't deny it.
So we made our way inside the trailer and that's when I saw to the right of the bed the giant pump bottle of lube. That's right the Costco size bottle of lube! Talk about a RED FUCKING FLAG! It was at that point that I started laying down the ground rules. "WE are NOT HAVING SEX! Just not going to happen we can fool around, but we have to work together tomorrow and you have a giant pump bottle of lube so its just not happening." He nodded his head as he understood.
***********************************NSFW****************************************
After an hour or so of fooling around I decided I needed to speed things along so I began pulling out some of my tricks and ultimately just ended up asking him what I could do to hasten the situation....and then I got the other really fun answer of the night...."Well if I can't fuck you can I fuck your thighs?"
I was dumbfounded....no one had ever asked me to do that before.....EVER! It gives a whole new meaning to the phrase there is a lot you can do without going all the way. I played soccer for years so I would say I have pretty strong thighs and he was really into it. So he laid down a towel, lubed up my thighs, and just had at it. It lasted all of about 2 minutes and that is being generous....then he came all over my inner thighs. He then flipped me over and began licking them like they were the best thing he'd ever tasted. Who knew? He went out for a cigarette and insisted he would finish me when he got back in. Then he put on a my scrubs which barely fit him and headed outside (sort of looked like this). I really do think he had some kind of a nurse fetish...but besides that he came back in and was true to his word about finishing me off.
**********************************SFW*****************************************
Eventually I got the guy to bring me back to the house as everyone else was already home at this point and I was going to need some rest for the clinic the next day. I slept and a few of the other nurses who had gone out with us and left me with Trailer Pump asked how things went. I informed them that nothing much had happened and we moved on with our day and headed to clinic.
When Trailer Pump arrived I got one of the most confused greetings I have ever received in my entire life. He hugged me and went in for a kiss, which I of course cheeked as I was at work and didn't really think that was appropriate especially from an outreach worker I had really just met the previous day. As the day progressed I was swamped with patients and Trailer Pump was clearly unhappy that I was not paying him the attention that I was paying to my patients and then all of a sudden he was gone. I didn't see where he went and I have no idea what happened. All I know is one of the other nurses thinks that they saw him and he appeared to be rather high....I'm hoping that this isn't the case....I feel like if the guy was going to relapse he was going to do it whether or not I paid him any attention....right?? At least that is what I am telling myself.
The rest of the trip went off without a hitch. I spent some time at the beach. I had brunch and went shopping with a few of the nurses and just generally enjoyed the atmosphere of Commercial St. during the day and chose to ignore the debuacherous ambience that tends to accompany the moonlight hours on Commercial.
All in all it was a pretty fun trip. I had just enough fun to tide me over for a little while and made arguably no PLCs.....Not bad....
I guess until next time!
Chau!
Tuesday, March 5, 2013
Am I a CRAZY Magnet?
For those of you who have been following my blog for the last month or so you have already heard about Hickey. Those of you who are just tuning in....I suggest going back and reading the other two posts about him otherwise you will probably be very confused while you read this one.
I had a fourth date with Hickey yesterday and everything seemed to go as planned. We met up and this time we ended up getting smoothies and some food at Boloco, think a locally owned Qdoba. Its nice enough not what I would expect for a date but Hickey seemed to actually enjoy himself this time which was definitely a change of pace. I mean he still did the weird I'm going to stare at you in silence thing but it was less frequent, and he did talk a little bit this time and he actually ate something.
Not to get sidetracked, but I think this was this first time I have seen the guy eat in the four dates that we have had. He has a sick body don't get me wrong. The guy is skinny, but lately I have noticed throughout the course of our few dates he has bulked up some which is something I am definitely not going to complain about. Actually thinking back on it he ate on our second date but nothing extraordinary. If we're speaking frankly the guy, with his clothes on, looks like he could be in one of the Feed the Children commercials where they tell you that for less than the price of one cup of coffee you can feed a child for a day in some weird country you have never heard of in your life. It was nice to see him eat. Okay back to the main story...how shallow of me to get sidetracked about a guys weight and body type...you'd think I was gay or something...
After finishing eating we headed back to my room where he informed me we were definitely not going to be having sex....Ummm yea sure...
I realized when he said that that I definitely have a slight problem. I mean I can go a while without having sex with someone that I am dating, but once I have sex with you....GAME ON....I mean especially after only having had sex once.
So naturally we started going at it despite his insistence that we would definitely not be having sex that night. And as we were he asked if I wouldn't mind being a little bit rougher and a little more domineering. Now for those of you who are worried that this means I am going to turn this blog into some sort of gay version of the 50 Shades novels fear not...I put those books to shame. Let's be real don't unleash my inner sexual dominant side unless you are really ready to handle it. I read people pretty well so knowing exactly what buttons to push to get someone to be so filled with sexual desire they'd do anything is something that comes pretty naturally to me.
In the post-coital pillow talk we began talking more than we had the entire date so far, another thing that has become pretty typical with him and me. One of the first things I complimented him on his ability to control his texting me throughout the week. And in that conversation he asked once again about my dating life very indirectly and I informed him that I had been on a date since our last one with another guy. He did not take this very well....I had been so happy because I thought I had been wrong about him becoming a STAGE 12 CLINGER and then I got the reaction of a lifetime to what I thought was a seemingly innocuous answer to a pretty easy question. The guy literally clammed up and got pouty like a four year old who had been scolded for having one too many cookies. Then he got angry and said Well I thought that you weren't doing that anymore.
At this point I had been completely thrown off my game. I thought I had been explicitly clear with this guy regarding my desire to date people besides him. I thought I had been very clear that we weren't boyfriends and that we were simply two guys who were dating. Then he said I should have listened to my coworkers they said if you wanted to date other people that I shouldn't be with you.
Again I was thrown for a loop. I just started apologizing. I mean what else does one do in this situation. "I'm sorry if I miscommunicated with you. I tried to be very clear from the outset that that was not what I was looking for." And then it started, the pouting turned into an almost inaudible deep breathing which I have become all too familiar with working in an Emergency Department. It's the breath sound associated with the forthcoming tears. That's right the guy literally folded into my arms and was choking back tears because I had been on a date with someone besides him. I continued apologizing. "I'm sorry I'm a dickhead." "You deserve better than me." "I'm sorry I didn't mean to give you the wrong impression." "I'm sorry, please don't hate me." One of the last apologies I made was something along the lines of "Listen if you hate me for now, can we be friends eventually." Suddenly he went from sad and almost despondent to pissed. He got up and started getting dressed like he had some place to be.
I got up and started to try and talk to him and I probably would have had better luck getting a response from a wall. I offered to walk him to the train station, which he begrudgingly accepted. Then when we got to the station he stood there staring at me and acting as if I had seriously betrayed him. Before he left I got a very angry hug, you know the kind little kids give when they are being forced to apologize to someone against their will. I thought for sure things were completely done. This guy was going to hate me forever. Still I texted him about a half an hour later to make sure that he got home safely and I got the curtest answer possible....K.
And I thought it was over. I had a glass of wine, ordered some takeout, watched some TV and then fell asleep. In the morning I was awakened by the sound of my phone receiving not one, but multiple text messages in a row....11 to be exact.....for those of you curious, I have transcribed them below.....
Text 1
Good morning. To be honest no I don't hate you. Truth is I love/like you. I'm not falling too too hard for you. But deep down inside I love you. I know that sounds weird. Lol..
Text 2
I just want us to forget about what happened last night. Well not the sex part lol. That I enjoyed ALOT. I really and truly don't wanna lose you. And I would hope that in the future when your ready to settle that I'm the one but I can't decide that.
Text 3
I want to be more than friends with you and don't ever say that again, I was gonna punch you in the throat. I hate when guys break up with you and then they try to pull the friend card. That's a deal breaker for me. MAJOR RED FLAG. Lol.
Text 4
But again I don't wanna lose you. And I want to continue dating you. And I want us to have more and more sex. Please sir lol. I love spending time with you. Although we have our awkward moments but its cute.
Text 5
I do find you very attractive.
Text 6
I think what the problem is, is me. And I came to realize that now. And I'm sorry if I seen too dramatic about the whole thing. I'm sorry. I'm kinda embarrassed.
Text 7
But I wanna continue dating you. I don't hate you. No your not a douche, I had worse, your not a dick head,. I think your a tool though lol. Just being honest with that one.
Text 8
I'm new to this dating thing and I don't know how to deal with a guy that dates other guys.
Text 9
I like your honesty that's a plus.
Text 10
And one more thing I still wanna have sex with you.
Text 11
Lol...that's all I have to say I think lol. For now I guess, uh yeah...Lol. That's it hehe.
Now I am going to avoid breaking this down text by text because I feel like that might be overkill, but let's talk about some of the highlights shall we.
Good things: He recognizes that he was unreasonable. He thinks I'm attractive. He still wants to have sex with me.
Bad things: This guy is FUCKING CRAZY!!! I mean if you send me a text message with MAJOR RED FLAG in all capital letters then I think it would be remiss of me to ignore that as anything except a sign from whatever God or supreme being we are all supposed to believe in.
To me it is pretty obvious what must be done so I have texted Hickey about meeting tonight to discuss through some of this stuff. Normally I would throw out the friend card or the fuck buddy card to sort of save face, but I am thinking that Hickey is not the type of guy that can emotionally handle something like that. He needs concrete lines and delineations in his life, which is exactly the kind of thing that I am trying to avoid. Whether me bailing on this guy is a result of my commitment phobia, or his absolute insanity is probably something up for questioning, but either way I think this is the death of Hickey.
We shall see what the night has in store, but I'm not going to hold my breath.
Until next time...
Chau!!!
I had a fourth date with Hickey yesterday and everything seemed to go as planned. We met up and this time we ended up getting smoothies and some food at Boloco, think a locally owned Qdoba. Its nice enough not what I would expect for a date but Hickey seemed to actually enjoy himself this time which was definitely a change of pace. I mean he still did the weird I'm going to stare at you in silence thing but it was less frequent, and he did talk a little bit this time and he actually ate something.
Not to get sidetracked, but I think this was this first time I have seen the guy eat in the four dates that we have had. He has a sick body don't get me wrong. The guy is skinny, but lately I have noticed throughout the course of our few dates he has bulked up some which is something I am definitely not going to complain about. Actually thinking back on it he ate on our second date but nothing extraordinary. If we're speaking frankly the guy, with his clothes on, looks like he could be in one of the Feed the Children commercials where they tell you that for less than the price of one cup of coffee you can feed a child for a day in some weird country you have never heard of in your life. It was nice to see him eat. Okay back to the main story...how shallow of me to get sidetracked about a guys weight and body type...you'd think I was gay or something...
After finishing eating we headed back to my room where he informed me we were definitely not going to be having sex....Ummm yea sure...
I realized when he said that that I definitely have a slight problem. I mean I can go a while without having sex with someone that I am dating, but once I have sex with you....GAME ON....I mean especially after only having had sex once.
So naturally we started going at it despite his insistence that we would definitely not be having sex that night. And as we were he asked if I wouldn't mind being a little bit rougher and a little more domineering. Now for those of you who are worried that this means I am going to turn this blog into some sort of gay version of the 50 Shades novels fear not...I put those books to shame. Let's be real don't unleash my inner sexual dominant side unless you are really ready to handle it. I read people pretty well so knowing exactly what buttons to push to get someone to be so filled with sexual desire they'd do anything is something that comes pretty naturally to me.
*****NSFW*****
We started with the pretty normal Suck my dick, bitch kind of stuff while I completely ignored the fact that his cock even existed, a feat which would have been much easier had his dick not been so big and hard and dripping. Then stuff tended to move into the more aggressive side with me throwing him around, slapping his ass, a little bit of spitting, a little bit more of me beating up on his body. And then I couldn't take it anymore and I flipped him over and just started fucking his ass. Initially he definitely pulled away a little bit, but after a few minutes he really got into it and started to slam his ass back against me. The guy just wanted the dick. I then proceeded to tease him a little bit more and after a few more minutes I flipped him over and started to fuck him while looking into his eyes. He couldn't take it anymore. I don't know if he couldn't take it because he was going to cum or because his ass was sore, but either way he insisted I stop. So being the gentleman I am, I obliged and removed my dick from his ass. We finished each other off with very little finesse. A lot of dirty talk, which has somehow become a specialty of ours, and him slurping up my load. All in a date's work....or so I thought.
****SFW****
In the post-coital pillow talk we began talking more than we had the entire date so far, another thing that has become pretty typical with him and me. One of the first things I complimented him on his ability to control his texting me throughout the week. And in that conversation he asked once again about my dating life very indirectly and I informed him that I had been on a date since our last one with another guy. He did not take this very well....I had been so happy because I thought I had been wrong about him becoming a STAGE 12 CLINGER and then I got the reaction of a lifetime to what I thought was a seemingly innocuous answer to a pretty easy question. The guy literally clammed up and got pouty like a four year old who had been scolded for having one too many cookies. Then he got angry and said Well I thought that you weren't doing that anymore.
At this point I had been completely thrown off my game. I thought I had been explicitly clear with this guy regarding my desire to date people besides him. I thought I had been very clear that we weren't boyfriends and that we were simply two guys who were dating. Then he said I should have listened to my coworkers they said if you wanted to date other people that I shouldn't be with you.
Again I was thrown for a loop. I just started apologizing. I mean what else does one do in this situation. "I'm sorry if I miscommunicated with you. I tried to be very clear from the outset that that was not what I was looking for." And then it started, the pouting turned into an almost inaudible deep breathing which I have become all too familiar with working in an Emergency Department. It's the breath sound associated with the forthcoming tears. That's right the guy literally folded into my arms and was choking back tears because I had been on a date with someone besides him. I continued apologizing. "I'm sorry I'm a dickhead." "You deserve better than me." "I'm sorry I didn't mean to give you the wrong impression." "I'm sorry, please don't hate me." One of the last apologies I made was something along the lines of "Listen if you hate me for now, can we be friends eventually." Suddenly he went from sad and almost despondent to pissed. He got up and started getting dressed like he had some place to be.
I got up and started to try and talk to him and I probably would have had better luck getting a response from a wall. I offered to walk him to the train station, which he begrudgingly accepted. Then when we got to the station he stood there staring at me and acting as if I had seriously betrayed him. Before he left I got a very angry hug, you know the kind little kids give when they are being forced to apologize to someone against their will. I thought for sure things were completely done. This guy was going to hate me forever. Still I texted him about a half an hour later to make sure that he got home safely and I got the curtest answer possible....K.
And I thought it was over. I had a glass of wine, ordered some takeout, watched some TV and then fell asleep. In the morning I was awakened by the sound of my phone receiving not one, but multiple text messages in a row....11 to be exact.....for those of you curious, I have transcribed them below.....
Text 1
Good morning. To be honest no I don't hate you. Truth is I love/like you. I'm not falling too too hard for you. But deep down inside I love you. I know that sounds weird. Lol..
Text 2
I just want us to forget about what happened last night. Well not the sex part lol. That I enjoyed ALOT. I really and truly don't wanna lose you. And I would hope that in the future when your ready to settle that I'm the one but I can't decide that.
Text 3
I want to be more than friends with you and don't ever say that again, I was gonna punch you in the throat. I hate when guys break up with you and then they try to pull the friend card. That's a deal breaker for me. MAJOR RED FLAG. Lol.
Text 4
But again I don't wanna lose you. And I want to continue dating you. And I want us to have more and more sex. Please sir lol. I love spending time with you. Although we have our awkward moments but its cute.
Text 5
I do find you very attractive.
Text 6
I think what the problem is, is me. And I came to realize that now. And I'm sorry if I seen too dramatic about the whole thing. I'm sorry. I'm kinda embarrassed.
Text 7
But I wanna continue dating you. I don't hate you. No your not a douche, I had worse, your not a dick head,. I think your a tool though lol. Just being honest with that one.
Text 8
I'm new to this dating thing and I don't know how to deal with a guy that dates other guys.
Text 9
I like your honesty that's a plus.
Text 10
And one more thing I still wanna have sex with you.
Text 11
Lol...that's all I have to say I think lol. For now I guess, uh yeah...Lol. That's it hehe.
Now I am going to avoid breaking this down text by text because I feel like that might be overkill, but let's talk about some of the highlights shall we.
Good things: He recognizes that he was unreasonable. He thinks I'm attractive. He still wants to have sex with me.
Bad things: This guy is FUCKING CRAZY!!! I mean if you send me a text message with MAJOR RED FLAG in all capital letters then I think it would be remiss of me to ignore that as anything except a sign from whatever God or supreme being we are all supposed to believe in.
To me it is pretty obvious what must be done so I have texted Hickey about meeting tonight to discuss through some of this stuff. Normally I would throw out the friend card or the fuck buddy card to sort of save face, but I am thinking that Hickey is not the type of guy that can emotionally handle something like that. He needs concrete lines and delineations in his life, which is exactly the kind of thing that I am trying to avoid. Whether me bailing on this guy is a result of my commitment phobia, or his absolute insanity is probably something up for questioning, but either way I think this is the death of Hickey.
We shall see what the night has in store, but I'm not going to hold my breath.
Until next time...
Chau!!!
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