The Harvard Gaymer

Well I am back at it.....I went on a date on Wednesday night with another guy I met off the online dating website. I am determined to find one normal person who I can date regularly.....

Let me begin by describing the guy: Physically he is about 6 feet tall, black, a little bit of scruff, huge hands and really long arms. He is also super smart. He goes to Harvard and is a math and computer science major which is pretty cool, different than me which I always appreciate. He is originally from Atlanta and is actually quite the catch I think. Some other lets not say issues, but complications, he is wicked into gaming (like video and computer games) and he like oh-so-many of the guys I've dated before is not out to his family. Not a huge issue since he is out in Boston and all of his friends at school know he's gay/bi.

Now for details about the date. For the record I'm calling this guy the Harvard Gaymer because he goes to Harvard and is so into the gaming...I think its appropriate.

So where do I begin. When we were trying to figure out when we could meet we ultimately decided that we could get together Wednesday despite my 12 hour long shift working because he would come and meet me in the city so I wouldn't have to head into Cambridge. The fact that he was willing to come and meet me won him major points. Then we settled on coffee at the Starbucks on the corner of Mass Ave and Boylston. I thought this would be perfect because it was walking distance for me and he could just hop on the 1 bus.

What I didn't take into account was that this guy went to Harvard....so super smart, but little to no common sense. About 10 minutes after he was supposed to meet me I decided to text him and figure out where he was. Apparently the green line was running late......Yes that's right this Harvard Gaymer had decided to take the Red Line and then the Green line to a place that was literally right off of the 1 Bus. It was at that point that I decided I would just meet him and we could walk some place closer.....and then just when I thought the directional skills couldn't get any worse....he told me, "Yea I just got off at Copley." Priceless, I know, but I didn't want to judge him to prematurely.

When I finally found him we grabbed coffee and headed back to Northeastern to see one of my friends perform in her acapella group, Pitch, Please! (you can check out videos of them there). I thought it would be a fun first date type of activity and I had already promised my friend I would go. We ended up sitting on the ground and listening for the entire set and then we left.

I could tell that he wanted an invite back to my place, which I was definitely wary of giving. I wasn't wary because I thought I might do something I would regret, but I was just worried about having to show off my atrocious room to someone who I had a good first date with so far. I split the difference and ended up inviting him up to the 16th floor common room of my building so he could check out a real view of the city. We ended up sitting right next to each other on an oversized chair and before I knew it we were kissing.

Great kisser! Just the right amount of playful and aggressive. After making out for probably five minutes we just continue to sit in the chair and talk withn his arms wrapped around me.....it was at this point I realized how big his hands were. I'm not saying this as an innuendo for his dick by the way. I'm talking about this guy's actual hands...they were huge and dwarfed mine in comparison. It was nice to have someone wrap there arms around me and just hold me with such big arms and hands for a change...that hasn't happened for a very long time and I definitely was not unhappy about it happening then.

During the conversations between making out I actually learned a lot about him. The two most important things: 1. He is a virgin for all intents and purposes and 2. He is a HUGE nerd. Most of you are probably judging me and saying that you just assumed these things by the fact that he is a black computer science major at Harvard, but I hold out hope folks....what can I say.... Ways I learned this information....welll he flat out told me the only time he ever had anal sex it lasted for three seconds and then he changed his mind. And then he made an error bars joke while kissing....that's right he made a math joke about kissing what a dweeb....and yet how endearing.....

Eventually after an hour or so of making out and just talking I realized where this night was going and insisted that he go home and not spend the night. I like him, for now at least, and I definitely don't want him to get the wrong impression. So I walked him first to grab something to eat and then to the 1 bus so he could get home.

On the walk to the bus I learned something about him that definitely piques my interest....he is a self-professed former fatty. Those of you who know me know that I have a theory that hasn't been wrong yet. Former fatties and former acne laden teenagers are usually the best in bed. They all are now attractive, but still have the I-Need-To-Make-Up-For-My-Looks-Self-Esteem which makes them a rock star in bed. There is nothing I love hearing more when talking to a really attractive guy that they used to get made fun of in middle school....some people may say....awww and feel bad, but in my head all I can think is JACKPOT!!

But I digress, he got on the bus and I walked home. We've been texting off and on all week and I actually have another date with him tonight, this time on his turf. So I guess I should head home so I can get ready to head out to Cambridge. Wish me luck!

Until next time....

Chau!!

A Little Hope...

So I may or may not be drunk right now....but I am going to blog anyways....I know people always say never drink and blog but I really don't want to forget how I feel tomorrow.

Tonight I went to a friend's housewarming party despite having an absolutely horrid day at work. For some reason I felt compelled to go so I got on a bus and headed to her new place. For the first hour or so I felt extremely awkward. There were only a few people I knew and despite my charming attention grabbing personality I really wasn't having that great of a time.

Then all of a sudden this guy from my theater group showed up. He is awesome. He is a genuinely nice person, with a great voice, and he is super cute. He is friends with a lesbian I am actually pretty good friends with. He is adorable. The best part about him is I saw him interact with his family post show and it was adorable. They were the Cleavers if Beaver was a raging homo who did musical theater. Seeing them interact was literally an AWWWWW kind of a moment.

So this guy shows up and he sort of starts hitting on me. At first I wasn't really sure if he was hitting on me or not. He was being sort of shy and stand offish. Honestly I have had a crush on this guy for quite some time but never made a move because I assumed he wasn't even remotely into me. Then tonight everything changed and it was obvious to me that he may have been into me. I still am not sure if it was because he was gay or just because he liked me but I guess time will tell.

Well the party we were at got broken up by the cops. So instead of being under 21 year old assholes and just going home I went with him, his hag, his guy friend, and my sort of friend/acquaintance/fellow nurse to a bar for a couple of follow up drinks. Just as a funny anecdote this friend person is also a sex toy saleswoman.....and she happened to be carrying around a suitcase full of supplies and one of them happened to be going off....this really isn't relevant to the story at all I just thought that it was funny, but I digress. So we all go to the bar and begin drinking.

The cute guy who I still haven't come up with a name for yet's hag finds out that I am drinking a Long Island Iced Tea and immediately begins liking me and pushing me and her friend to get together. I was so excited. I mean, let's cut the shit, if the hag starts pushing a relationship then that means the other person has at least mentioned you before in conversation. I got really excited. Eventually after doing this really awkward flirting thing we ended up kissing in the middle of the bar.

It was Awesome! He was a great kisser! After a few passionate pecks he ended up bringing me to the back of the bar where we sneaked out the back door and began making out in the alley. At one point we both ended up on the ground, but I stopped things from going any further because I feel like I might actually like this guy. And he seemed to be okay with it.

We then went back into the bar where the bartender quickly and quite curtly informed me that I was not allowed to go into the back alley.....OOOPS....MY BAD! Oh well it was hot and I was into it. Fuck the bartender!

I paid my bill and met him and his friends out front of the bar where I was invited to go back to his place and smoke and watch Legally Blonde....however tempting this might have been I rejected because I think I might actually like this guy and I didn't want to fuck him right away. He is so nice, and sweet, and cute, and smart, and adorable, and I am sure that I am going to fuck this up somehow....

Well I texted him when I got home that I would talk to him tomorrow and take him on a proper date and he told me he was looking forward to it.....


Is it possible??? Have I actually found someone that I am attracted to and who is also a good person??? I hope so... Want to know what gives me hope??? My walk home...


As I was walking home from the bar everything seemed normal. Then as I got out in front of my dorm I started singing a song I wrote (I know how cheesy) called rain....

I want the rain to come and fall on my face.
Give me the storm to take away my pain,
To take away my hurting.
I want the water, I want the wind, Give me the storm,
Make me feel again.

 And as I am belting this out at the top of my lungs it started to pour.....the more I sang the harder and more persistent the rain became. It was like a baptism by nature. I am hoping that it was God's way of telling me that this time things will be different. This time I will have been born anew and everything will be innocent and fresh.

I HOPE....

So maybe tonight was the perfect example of A Little Hope....