Showing posts with label Hickey. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Hickey. Show all posts
Sunday, May 11, 2014
Sunday, February 9, 2014
From Face Biting to Toe Sucking
I've been SUPER busy at work lately. Between both jobs I have not really had any time to do anything on my own including some of those things that guys find so basic to everyday life. Luckily I usually can find time on the weekends to relax and deal with the things I have been putting off all week.
I got a text message from Hickey this week apologizing for pushing me away. The funny thing about this is I was unaware that it was even happening. In retrospect I guess I hadn't heard from him in a while, but I honestly didn't even realize it because I had been so busy. Ultimately, I made plans with Hickey to meet up on Saturday and just fool around in our usual fashion. He actually made a request that I save up for him, if you catch my drift, and I of course complied. I'm all about trying to appease the person I'm with and I'm not above giving up some of the normal occurrences of life if it means I am going to get some and the person I fool around with will be happier for it.
Unfortunately, I had to work Friday night so I figured Saturday might be a little rough, but it was the only day I still had available. I would also just like to say working outside of a gay club doing testing when I was planning on having sex the next day was just not really fun. All of the patients who were flirting with me definitely found me flirting back, which probably wasn't professional, but it definitely helped in securing more patients.
I digress....Saturday morning came around and I contacted Hickey about getting together and did not hear back. After five days of waiting this was definitely not a good situation for me. I tried him on Facebook and eventually got an answer. He was busy with some sort of family emergency and would not be able to see me. Fucking Awesome! I was dying I was so so SO SO horny. The kicker is I figured out after the fact that there really was no family emergency Hickey was getting a tattoo...
I suppose it's really my own fault. I know that Hickey has feelings for me beyond just being a fuck buddy. I have tried to be very honest with him that I can not reciprocate those feelings, but I have been definitely taking advantage of the fact that he has those feelings for me. I think he is getting to the point where it really is not a health thing for him anymore and I suppose I should really respect that. He likes the idea of being able to be a fuck buddy with me but the feelings he has for me are quickly going to go from fondness to bitterness if I'm not careful.
Around 1:00p I realized that there was really no point in me wasting 5 days of pent up frustration on my right hand so I texted the FaceBiter. I know...Probably not the best move. We had a date/Still do have a date planned for tonight. He is making dinner and we are going to watch a movie. But I figured maybe he wouldn't mind fooling around a little bit on a Saturday afternoon.
He responded almost instantly and told me that he would have his whole place to himself around 3 if I could come by then. I obliged and waited. It took me probably 20 minutes to find a parking spot by his place in Inman Square but eventually I did. He showed me around his apartment, which is nice, but very I'm a grad student with limited resources. There are four guys that I think live there and the apartment definitely had a bro-atmosphere to it. I now understand why people see my apartment and think it is so grown up. Everything is clean, and tidy, and we have home accessories. The perks of a gay guy, three girls, and an ICU nurse in one apartment I suppose.
After a quick tour of the house we ended up in his room making out. He is still a FaceBiter and actually made a point to ask me to not shave before tomorrow and let my facial hair grow a little bit more. This is funny to me for a few reasons. One is that I am incredibly lazy when it comes to my facial hair and I really do find shaving to be a big pain in the ass. Two is that my family, my mother and father, both hate me with any sort of facial hair. Three is that I don't really think my facial hair grows evenly. I am not one of the lucky guys that looks good with a bit of scruff. I look like I am a homeless Latino vagrant not a sexy plaid-wearing lumberjack.
*********************************NSFW*******************************
The making out quickly turned into fooling around. Before I knew it we were both taking off our clothes. I started by blowing him and he was even more appreciative this time then he was the first time. I just kept getting compliments from him and I had to stop pretty quickly to make sure that I didn't ruin all the fun too early. He tried to go in to return the favor, but I just kept remembering the teeth and pretty creatively was able to avoid that situation.
After about 15-20 minutes of fooling around he finally decided it was time to fuck. He pulled a condom out of his drawer and warned me that I was the biggest guy he had ever been with sexually. I was floored. My dick is not big, by any means so the whole situation was a bit of a shocker to me. I knowingly nodded and let him know that I would be gentle and do my best not to hurt him. Eventually after several minutes of trying I finally was able to get in, but after maybe 5 minutes of actual fucking he just couldn't take it anymore. I pulled out and insisted that it was absolutely fine. We didn't have to fuck.
However, I did try and get him to switch it up and fuck me. To be honest his dick is pretty small and I wasn't particularly worried about being able to take it. He threw on a condom lubed up, but just couldn't really get inside me. It was odd. It wasn't that I was in pain it was almost as if he my ass was too fat and his dick was too small. I've never encountered this problem before actually. But in almost every angle my ass appeared to keep his dick from inserting more than just the head inside me. Eventually he gave up. I think the combination of him not being a top and not really being able to figure out the right angle to get his dick inside me properly was pretty discouraging for him. I again insisted that it was good and that we could do something else in place of actually fucking.
It was at this point that he really wanted to just lick me. I really didn't give this much thought as licking tends to be an essential part of hooking up in the gay world. In fact licking from my neck down my torso to my genitals all tended to be pretty standard gay fare until he kept licking. All of a sudden he was licking down my thighs well past my point of my crotch. He then started to lick right over my knees.
Fun fact I have highly sensitive knees. I always have. If you're trying to get me particularly turned on there is little you can do more than stroking my knees to give me an instant hard on.
As he continued to lick past my knees and hold my calf he slowly slid off the sock on my right foot. Then before I knew it he was licking my foot. Then my toes were in his mouth and he was jerking off like there was no tomorrow. While he was sucking my toes was actually the hardest I had ever seen his cock. It seemed that my toes and feet were his secret trick to getting really turned on.
I don't particularly get anything out of someone licking my feet or toes. It's not a turn on and it's not really a turn off either. It's a neutral for me. But I do find it funny that I keep finding these guys with odd sexual fetishes. I'm not sure if I just attract freaks or if I drag the freak out of everyone that I meet. It's like the eternal struggle of what came first the chicken or the egg.
After he sucked on my toes he came back up to my mouth and asked me if I would let him suck my dick now. There was no more avoiding it so I laid back and prepared myself. Then I was pleasantly surprised. he is actually quite a decent dick sucker. He even gagged himself a little bit on my cock, which is almost always hot and appreciated. Apparently when he is sober the gay genes kick in and he inherently remembers how to appropriately suck dick and live up to his stereotype. I enjoyed the dick sucking for a few minutes and that felt I had to warn him about what was to come.
Normally I have a decent load and I suspected that after 5 days of pent up frustration and being pretty well hydrated that he should at least be warned. I mean you don't want to be convicted of manslaughter by drowning during fellatio, right? He of course ignored my warning and we went back to fooling around. I finished him off pretty quickly by blowing him and then he wanted to make me cum. So we continued fooling around and then all of a sudden I came. It shot well above my head a few times and hit my shoulder until he threw his face in front of my spasming dick and took shot after shot on his cheek. When he finally thought it was over he took his face away and I shot twice more onto my stomach. He looked at me in shock and awe. I immediately apologized as I had gotten his comforter covered in cum and he had quite a bit dripping from his face. He laughed and said, "Well you warned me I just wasn't expecting that"
We hopped in the shower and cleaned off and then went back to his room where we began dressing.
********************************SFW**********************************
I almost always find that I have the best conversations with people directly after we have both cum. I think its something about the sexual tension being lifted out of the room that just makes the whole thing a little bit easier.
We talked for another 10 minutes about politics and life before I finally made a point to say I had to go. I think its important that I didn't stay longer than I planned. Since we are also seeing each other tonight I didn't want to make him think that things were moving too fast and then as I was putting on my shoes I realized that probably was not going to be a problem.
FaceBiter asked me if I would want to go to NY to go skiing with him next weekend. Yes the guy who I had been on, let's say, 1.5 dates with wanted to take me away for the weekend. I was flattered, but immediately wanted to run out of his house. It just seemed like such a commitment especially since I had really just met him. Suppose I found out that he was super weird in some way while we were away together and then I was stuck in a different state with no real means of getting home. My mama might have raised some babies with questionable values, but I'll be damned if she raised an idiot. I quickly pointed out that I thought a joint trip was probably not a great idea this early on and he seemed to agree.
Then I went home and contemplated what exactly I was getting myself into with this guy. I mean he is cute, around my age, and clearly very smart, but he is moving at a very fast pace for someone like me. Tonight I am going over to his place so he can make me dinner and we can watch a movie. I assume all of his roommates will be there as it is a Sunday night and I can't imagine that they have anywhere else to be being MIT grad students and all. So I guess we shall see how tonight goes. I will be sure to report back and maybe I will have a better sense of how long this will continue on for after dinner. I suppose I can always use my trip to the Dominican Republic as a way to get rid of him in the worst case scenario.
I'll write later tonight!
Chau!!
I got a text message from Hickey this week apologizing for pushing me away. The funny thing about this is I was unaware that it was even happening. In retrospect I guess I hadn't heard from him in a while, but I honestly didn't even realize it because I had been so busy. Ultimately, I made plans with Hickey to meet up on Saturday and just fool around in our usual fashion. He actually made a request that I save up for him, if you catch my drift, and I of course complied. I'm all about trying to appease the person I'm with and I'm not above giving up some of the normal occurrences of life if it means I am going to get some and the person I fool around with will be happier for it.
Unfortunately, I had to work Friday night so I figured Saturday might be a little rough, but it was the only day I still had available. I would also just like to say working outside of a gay club doing testing when I was planning on having sex the next day was just not really fun. All of the patients who were flirting with me definitely found me flirting back, which probably wasn't professional, but it definitely helped in securing more patients.
I digress....Saturday morning came around and I contacted Hickey about getting together and did not hear back. After five days of waiting this was definitely not a good situation for me. I tried him on Facebook and eventually got an answer. He was busy with some sort of family emergency and would not be able to see me. Fucking Awesome! I was dying I was so so SO SO horny. The kicker is I figured out after the fact that there really was no family emergency Hickey was getting a tattoo...
I suppose it's really my own fault. I know that Hickey has feelings for me beyond just being a fuck buddy. I have tried to be very honest with him that I can not reciprocate those feelings, but I have been definitely taking advantage of the fact that he has those feelings for me. I think he is getting to the point where it really is not a health thing for him anymore and I suppose I should really respect that. He likes the idea of being able to be a fuck buddy with me but the feelings he has for me are quickly going to go from fondness to bitterness if I'm not careful.
Around 1:00p I realized that there was really no point in me wasting 5 days of pent up frustration on my right hand so I texted the FaceBiter. I know...Probably not the best move. We had a date/Still do have a date planned for tonight. He is making dinner and we are going to watch a movie. But I figured maybe he wouldn't mind fooling around a little bit on a Saturday afternoon.
He responded almost instantly and told me that he would have his whole place to himself around 3 if I could come by then. I obliged and waited. It took me probably 20 minutes to find a parking spot by his place in Inman Square but eventually I did. He showed me around his apartment, which is nice, but very I'm a grad student with limited resources. There are four guys that I think live there and the apartment definitely had a bro-atmosphere to it. I now understand why people see my apartment and think it is so grown up. Everything is clean, and tidy, and we have home accessories. The perks of a gay guy, three girls, and an ICU nurse in one apartment I suppose.
After a quick tour of the house we ended up in his room making out. He is still a FaceBiter and actually made a point to ask me to not shave before tomorrow and let my facial hair grow a little bit more. This is funny to me for a few reasons. One is that I am incredibly lazy when it comes to my facial hair and I really do find shaving to be a big pain in the ass. Two is that my family, my mother and father, both hate me with any sort of facial hair. Three is that I don't really think my facial hair grows evenly. I am not one of the lucky guys that looks good with a bit of scruff. I look like I am a homeless Latino vagrant not a sexy plaid-wearing lumberjack.
*********************************NSFW*******************************
The making out quickly turned into fooling around. Before I knew it we were both taking off our clothes. I started by blowing him and he was even more appreciative this time then he was the first time. I just kept getting compliments from him and I had to stop pretty quickly to make sure that I didn't ruin all the fun too early. He tried to go in to return the favor, but I just kept remembering the teeth and pretty creatively was able to avoid that situation.
After about 15-20 minutes of fooling around he finally decided it was time to fuck. He pulled a condom out of his drawer and warned me that I was the biggest guy he had ever been with sexually. I was floored. My dick is not big, by any means so the whole situation was a bit of a shocker to me. I knowingly nodded and let him know that I would be gentle and do my best not to hurt him. Eventually after several minutes of trying I finally was able to get in, but after maybe 5 minutes of actual fucking he just couldn't take it anymore. I pulled out and insisted that it was absolutely fine. We didn't have to fuck.
However, I did try and get him to switch it up and fuck me. To be honest his dick is pretty small and I wasn't particularly worried about being able to take it. He threw on a condom lubed up, but just couldn't really get inside me. It was odd. It wasn't that I was in pain it was almost as if he my ass was too fat and his dick was too small. I've never encountered this problem before actually. But in almost every angle my ass appeared to keep his dick from inserting more than just the head inside me. Eventually he gave up. I think the combination of him not being a top and not really being able to figure out the right angle to get his dick inside me properly was pretty discouraging for him. I again insisted that it was good and that we could do something else in place of actually fucking.
It was at this point that he really wanted to just lick me. I really didn't give this much thought as licking tends to be an essential part of hooking up in the gay world. In fact licking from my neck down my torso to my genitals all tended to be pretty standard gay fare until he kept licking. All of a sudden he was licking down my thighs well past my point of my crotch. He then started to lick right over my knees.
Fun fact I have highly sensitive knees. I always have. If you're trying to get me particularly turned on there is little you can do more than stroking my knees to give me an instant hard on.
As he continued to lick past my knees and hold my calf he slowly slid off the sock on my right foot. Then before I knew it he was licking my foot. Then my toes were in his mouth and he was jerking off like there was no tomorrow. While he was sucking my toes was actually the hardest I had ever seen his cock. It seemed that my toes and feet were his secret trick to getting really turned on.
I don't particularly get anything out of someone licking my feet or toes. It's not a turn on and it's not really a turn off either. It's a neutral for me. But I do find it funny that I keep finding these guys with odd sexual fetishes. I'm not sure if I just attract freaks or if I drag the freak out of everyone that I meet. It's like the eternal struggle of what came first the chicken or the egg.
After he sucked on my toes he came back up to my mouth and asked me if I would let him suck my dick now. There was no more avoiding it so I laid back and prepared myself. Then I was pleasantly surprised. he is actually quite a decent dick sucker. He even gagged himself a little bit on my cock, which is almost always hot and appreciated. Apparently when he is sober the gay genes kick in and he inherently remembers how to appropriately suck dick and live up to his stereotype. I enjoyed the dick sucking for a few minutes and that felt I had to warn him about what was to come.
Normally I have a decent load and I suspected that after 5 days of pent up frustration and being pretty well hydrated that he should at least be warned. I mean you don't want to be convicted of manslaughter by drowning during fellatio, right? He of course ignored my warning and we went back to fooling around. I finished him off pretty quickly by blowing him and then he wanted to make me cum. So we continued fooling around and then all of a sudden I came. It shot well above my head a few times and hit my shoulder until he threw his face in front of my spasming dick and took shot after shot on his cheek. When he finally thought it was over he took his face away and I shot twice more onto my stomach. He looked at me in shock and awe. I immediately apologized as I had gotten his comforter covered in cum and he had quite a bit dripping from his face. He laughed and said, "Well you warned me I just wasn't expecting that"
We hopped in the shower and cleaned off and then went back to his room where we began dressing.
********************************SFW**********************************
I almost always find that I have the best conversations with people directly after we have both cum. I think its something about the sexual tension being lifted out of the room that just makes the whole thing a little bit easier.
We talked for another 10 minutes about politics and life before I finally made a point to say I had to go. I think its important that I didn't stay longer than I planned. Since we are also seeing each other tonight I didn't want to make him think that things were moving too fast and then as I was putting on my shoes I realized that probably was not going to be a problem.
FaceBiter asked me if I would want to go to NY to go skiing with him next weekend. Yes the guy who I had been on, let's say, 1.5 dates with wanted to take me away for the weekend. I was flattered, but immediately wanted to run out of his house. It just seemed like such a commitment especially since I had really just met him. Suppose I found out that he was super weird in some way while we were away together and then I was stuck in a different state with no real means of getting home. My mama might have raised some babies with questionable values, but I'll be damned if she raised an idiot. I quickly pointed out that I thought a joint trip was probably not a great idea this early on and he seemed to agree.
Then I went home and contemplated what exactly I was getting myself into with this guy. I mean he is cute, around my age, and clearly very smart, but he is moving at a very fast pace for someone like me. Tonight I am going over to his place so he can make me dinner and we can watch a movie. I assume all of his roommates will be there as it is a Sunday night and I can't imagine that they have anywhere else to be being MIT grad students and all. So I guess we shall see how tonight goes. I will be sure to report back and maybe I will have a better sense of how long this will continue on for after dinner. I suppose I can always use my trip to the Dominican Republic as a way to get rid of him in the worst case scenario.
I'll write later tonight!
Chau!!
Sunday, December 29, 2013
Updates...or Hauntings Depending on How You Look At It
As 2013 comes to a close apparently a bunch of the guys I went on dates with are going through their contact lists and deciding it would be a good idea to see exactly what I am up to again. So I thought I would share some of these updates with you.
Romeo--Recently Romeo has started to play games of Words with Friends with me again. In these games he almost invariably kicks my ass, but always strikes up a conversation. I have learned his plans for post-graduation, checked in about his holidays, and have even talked with him about the every day goings on of his life. It's almost as if he is using Words with Friends as a way to text me and show interest without texting me and showing interest. Honestly, its not doing anything for me. I am responding and being cordial because there was a time that I liked Romeo and thought he was wonderful, but the truth is the being in the closet to his family thing is a deal breaker. Since that still has not changed neither have my feelings about the Death of Romeo.
Geri--This guy is proving to be a bigger and bigger mistake with each passing month. He texted me this month inquiring as to whether or not he could get a test. I thought that he must have other options to get the test and was using this as a simple excuse to see me again, but I can't turn away a patient. I don't have it in me. He came in for the appointment and before he even sat down was commenting on my ass. REALLY? At that point I wanted to scream, but I kept it together and got through the risk assessment. It was actually one of the most awkward scenarios I've had in quite some time. I had to ask questions about his sexual history, which he then proceeded to try and make me feel awkward about. Then when I got to the substance abuse questions that I ask everyone he got very upset and almost angry. Geri was also clearly intoxicated when he came to see me so I really do think that he needs some sort of alcohol treatment, but at this point my hands are tied. He does not want to discuss that with me and I can't force him to so I simply gave him his test and sent him on his way.
SkaterBoy--Anybody even remember him?? I actually haven't written about him in a while but he has always sort of been in the orbit of people that I know. For those of you who are just joining us or who have forgotten...this is a friend of Tiny's who I have had a HUGE CRUSH on for a very long time. The guy is a figure skater with an ass to die for and a good heart. He's a little intense when it comes to certain things, but I love that kind of unbridled passion.
Well back to the point....he got an OKC account. He came up in my match ratings so I naturally rated him either a 4 or 5 stars so that if he rated me back similarly I would know that maybe he was interested. Well much to my surprise a day later I got a message from OKC informing me that indeed he had also rated me highly. So in an unprecedented maneuver...I actually messaged him first. I NEVER do that. It's like rule number one of online dating for me. I always respond, will always say yes to a first date, but I never make the first move. I guess part of me is afraid of being rejected and part of me thinks that I need a man who can take the initiative to be interested in me. For some reason I decided to buck traditional logic and go for it....and of course....NO RESPONSE. Typical! I'm okay with it though. My crush has been waning throughout the year and one time I saw him at the beach wearing shoes...yes he is a Shoebie so it would probably never work anyways.
Harvard Gaymer--Last week the Harvard Gaymer actually messaged me on OKC. It was a really cute message that basically boiled down to I miss you. That was nice. The conversation continued and it became a little bit more about catching up with each other. He is 21 now and asked if I might consider going out to a bar with him at least as friends since we did get along well together. I think that there really is no harm in that at all. Actually, I believe that he probably doesn't have a lot of gay friends who are of legal drinking age and it wouldn't hurt if I took him out to a gay bar or two and showed him the ropes. Unfortunately, the same problems that existed there before still exist. He is still not out to his family and he is young. I don't mean young in terms of his age, but in terms of his maturity level/comfortability with himself.
BRP--Well since my last post about him he has actually messaged me again, but I didn't respond this time. I know that makes me sound like a horribly immature person, but he just isn't taking the hint otherwise. I have tried to be honest without hurting his feelings, but it is simply not working so just not responding is really my only option at this point.
Hickey--We still talk and we still sext and we still booty call each other. I think that he definitely still has feelings for me though so I have to be careful about how often I talk with him. I don't want to give him the wrong impression and create a problem for myself in the future. I like what's happening now, but only because I think that we both have a mutual understanding that it is just a friendship with occasional bouts of sex.
Tiny--I messaged him on Facebook not too long ago and we had a talk about his date. Neither one of us mentioned the sex. I didn't mention it because quite frankly it wasn't a thing for me and I'm willing to bet he didn't mention it because he didn't even cum. We are still able to talk just like we use to and I am thankful for that....I like my gay friends and would hate for that to change.
So those are the updates for now on all my men....sometimes I think it must be some kind of sick joke and then I reread the blog posts....
Until Next Time!!
Chau!
Sunday, December 8, 2013
A Ginger, A Black-A-Rican, and a Freak!
So I have a few updates. No one new, just some old recycled folks.
I guess I should start with the oldest in the repertoire. This weekend I invited Hickey to come by so we could fool around again. Our Friends with Benefits thing has worked out far better than the two of us dating ever could have. We both have a mutual respect for each other and we both have pretty high standards for who we actually sleep with which is really comforting in a way. For instance, despite the fact that we have both gone out on dates with several people the only people we have had anal sex with in the last four months have been each other.
The other nice thing about the sex with Hickey is that we have both come to the understanding that sex is it. We aren't looking for it to be anything else. We are both really comfortable asking the other to do things sexually to get each other off. The freakier the sex gets, the better it is, and the more we both just really have a good time when we get together. All of the awkwardness from our first Friends with Benefits encounter is officially gone. We both understand what is happening and we have finally settled into a wonderful rhythm of fucking, sucking, and kinking. (I'm not sure if that is a word, but it is now!)
Every once in a while I get this feeling that Hickey is waiting for me to ask him to be my boyfriend, but he always assures me that is not the case. I'm hoping that is true because I could very easily be setting myself up for a repeat of the Panera incident....let's hope that does not happen...again!
The next person that I have updates on is BRP. As I have said before BRP is perfect for me on paper, but there is definitely something off about the whole thing. For this reason while I was away BRP texted me to say hi, but I did not respond. When I finally got back I let him know I was home and that I still had his hat from his night time visit, but I did not hear from him. It wasn't until the Saturday after Thanksgiving that I heard back from him. It was a very short message simply asking when he could retrieve his hat. It was late and I figured it must have been a drunken response to my text so I let him know I was still interested in seeing him.
I got a second equally as curt response. Not being one for passive aggressive games, I flat out asked if he was upset because his messages were so curt and almost bitter. He then went into a long explanation about that not being the case and we set up a time to see each other the next week. I almost had to cancel on him because of a patient emergency, but fortunately I was able to move things around and still make a late night coffee date work.
We met at 1369 Cafe in Inman Square. It was packed so we ended up just getting coffee and walking around Cambridge a little bit. Ultimately, we ended up stopping at a pizza place so he could get food since he still had not eaten and we both wanted a place to sit and talk.
The conversation was very cordial at first, no mention of the curtness from the texts, but I can never leave well enough alone. I picked the scab and before I knew it I was getting the litany of reasons that he was "pissed" not bitter about my lack of response to him while I was away. We had quite a discussion about his gripes with me.
What was really interesting was hearing all of the things that BRP considered red flags about myself.
Let me begin:
1. I'm young
2. I've never been in a relationship
3. I am sexually expressive/adept
4. I ignored him for 2 weeks
5. I am ambitious/driven
He qualified all of these statements with: "I mean you have all of these things which individually are red flags but together they don't bother me." How charming right?
I have to be honest; none of his 5 things surprised me. I recognize them as part of the issues I have in committing to any relationship anyways so the fact that someone finally recognizes them as issues in a relationship with me is something that I just have to come to terms with as I continue dating.
Ultimately, I can't do anything about the fact that I am young. I also could do something about never having been in a relationship, but I won't. I refuse to be in a relationship just to be in a relationship. I don't care if that means I am single for another 20 years. I am waiting for someone I really think is worth it. I could do something about the sexual expressiveness, but I don't want to. I like sex. I enjoy sex. It's fun and I am not going to apologize because I know what I want and I'm good at what I do. I could also do something about the ambition I have related to my career, but I won't. My career and my patients are really important to me and I am not going to change that just to please someone or enter into a relationship. The thing about me ignoring him for 2 weeks...well that I'll own. I definitely could have changed that and I definitely should have.
After he finished eating I offered to drive him home since he had driven me home the last time. I realized that things definitely still weren't right in the car, but I couldn't just send him back into his apartment when we got to his place. I felt like he was looking for an excuse to blow me off or just write me off completely and that annoyed me. I know this is absolutely insane, but I hate the idea that someone would write me off based on those 5 red flags. I felt like I needed to do something to prove he was wrong, even though he wasn't.
I am officially insane! I know and I can't help it. I went in for a kiss literally mid-awkward conversation where it seemed like he didn't want to see me again. I ended up in his apartment and we started making out. He stopped me and insisted that we not hook up. He told me he promised himself he wouldn't do that with me. I was being rejected sexually and I was stunned. I don't like the feeling that someone could just choose not to do something they wanted to. The idea that someone could have that kind of self control around me perturbed me a little bit. So I tried harder. Eventually I won him over and I was blowing him. Then I decided to respect his initial desires and stopped before he came. That was pretty bitchy of me but I couldn't help it. I had to prove the point that my sexual prowess could win him over.
I AM COMPLETELY INSANE!
I then left his apartment and hopped in my car and went home. I ended up seeing him again on Saturday for a cute lunch date in Harvard Square. I was super late (this is becoming a pattern for me unfortunately). We met at Tory Row and sat at the bar.
The restaurant was amazing: a great menu, a great atmosphere, and the bartender had an amazing ass. The fact that I am commenting on the bartender's ass should be a pretty good indicator for how my date went. I can't help but feel bad for how I behaved actually. I was sort of an ass. I was trying to treat him the way I treat a lot of my old friends. I was joking around and sort of making fun of him a little bit, but I'm not sure it really came off the right way. Luckily, this guy likes himself enough, and has a high enough self-esteem, that the whole time I was ribbing him he was pointing out how wrong I was.
When it came time to pay the bill I pulled out my card to pay. He insisted on paying. I said we could split it and he agreed, until the bartender brought over the bill and he literally grabbed my card out of the bartender's hand and gave it back to me. Apparently the bartender thought this guy should pay because he sort of chuckled when I again tried to pay and told me, "Nah let's let him get this one." The whole thing just seemed odd to me. I couldn't tell if the bartender had been listening and felt bad for me or if he somehow thought that this guy should be paying for me for some reason. I decided to let it go and just went to get my jacket.
BRP drove me home and we kissed in the car and I jumped out. He definitely wanted more of kiss, but I couldn't bring myself to sit in front of my house and make out with him like I have in the past. There is still something so off about the whole thing and I can't really put my finger on it.
He texted me again today to hang out, but I was studying so I told him that I would have to pass. He volunteered to come over and help and I told him he would just be a distraction. I got one of those stupid :P faces in response.
The last update I have for everyone is about the IndyGinger. I have still been talking to him almost every day. We talk either via text, facebook messenger, or actual phone call about nothing. Simply talking to him about the paper he needs to write brings a smile to my face. Its so weird. We've talked about the sex stuff we did, but we have yet to truly sext. It's oddly enough just to chat during the week.
One of the most recent calls I got from him lasted for well over 30 minutes. It wasn't the same happy guy that called me though. I finally figured out the problem with the IndyGinger. He is totally insecure. I don't know if its something to do with his family when he was growing up, the city he lives in, or some horrible ex-boyfriend he had but the IndyGinger has no self esteem. He is super concerned that his dick isn't big enough, his body isn't jacked enough, his hair isn't the right way, and that his physical appearance isn't good enough for anyone. It kills me. If he lived here I would date him in a heart beat. I would be really happy to see him as frequently as I could.
He is so eclectic and different that I can't imagine that he could feel so uncomfortable about his body. His muscles are something I could only dream of having and his dick isn't small (its definitely not huge but its nothing to laugh at either). I also learned that the IndyGinger has a history of suicidality. Typical right? Someone who I actually like, someone who I actually feel the need to continue to speak with despite being miles away from each other, thinks that they need to hurt themselves. I don't really know what to do. I am going to keep talking to him, because I can't help myself. I am also going to send him my copy of El Alquimista.
He is really into speaking/learning Spanish. He's not great, but he seems to really like it. I think that coupled with his lack of self-esteem just make it seem like he needs to read the book. Its a great story about accepting yourself for the gift you are and realizing what you already have and its something he needs to figure out. I feel like I want to save him. Again, its crazy, I know it, but I just can't help it.
So here I sit...blogging and watching reruns of the X Factor. I don't know what I'm doing. The more I try and be open and make things work the more confused I seem to get. For now I am just going to avoid analyzing anything. I am just going to accept things as they come. I am going to continue to do things that make me happy.
Well I guess that's it for now. Per usual if anyone has any advice feel free to send me a message or put a comment below.
Until Later,
Chau!!
I guess I should start with the oldest in the repertoire. This weekend I invited Hickey to come by so we could fool around again. Our Friends with Benefits thing has worked out far better than the two of us dating ever could have. We both have a mutual respect for each other and we both have pretty high standards for who we actually sleep with which is really comforting in a way. For instance, despite the fact that we have both gone out on dates with several people the only people we have had anal sex with in the last four months have been each other.
The other nice thing about the sex with Hickey is that we have both come to the understanding that sex is it. We aren't looking for it to be anything else. We are both really comfortable asking the other to do things sexually to get each other off. The freakier the sex gets, the better it is, and the more we both just really have a good time when we get together. All of the awkwardness from our first Friends with Benefits encounter is officially gone. We both understand what is happening and we have finally settled into a wonderful rhythm of fucking, sucking, and kinking. (I'm not sure if that is a word, but it is now!)
Every once in a while I get this feeling that Hickey is waiting for me to ask him to be my boyfriend, but he always assures me that is not the case. I'm hoping that is true because I could very easily be setting myself up for a repeat of the Panera incident....let's hope that does not happen...again!
The next person that I have updates on is BRP. As I have said before BRP is perfect for me on paper, but there is definitely something off about the whole thing. For this reason while I was away BRP texted me to say hi, but I did not respond. When I finally got back I let him know I was home and that I still had his hat from his night time visit, but I did not hear from him. It wasn't until the Saturday after Thanksgiving that I heard back from him. It was a very short message simply asking when he could retrieve his hat. It was late and I figured it must have been a drunken response to my text so I let him know I was still interested in seeing him.
I got a second equally as curt response. Not being one for passive aggressive games, I flat out asked if he was upset because his messages were so curt and almost bitter. He then went into a long explanation about that not being the case and we set up a time to see each other the next week. I almost had to cancel on him because of a patient emergency, but fortunately I was able to move things around and still make a late night coffee date work.
We met at 1369 Cafe in Inman Square. It was packed so we ended up just getting coffee and walking around Cambridge a little bit. Ultimately, we ended up stopping at a pizza place so he could get food since he still had not eaten and we both wanted a place to sit and talk.
The conversation was very cordial at first, no mention of the curtness from the texts, but I can never leave well enough alone. I picked the scab and before I knew it I was getting the litany of reasons that he was "pissed" not bitter about my lack of response to him while I was away. We had quite a discussion about his gripes with me.
What was really interesting was hearing all of the things that BRP considered red flags about myself.
Let me begin:
1. I'm young
2. I've never been in a relationship
3. I am sexually expressive/adept
4. I ignored him for 2 weeks
5. I am ambitious/driven
He qualified all of these statements with: "I mean you have all of these things which individually are red flags but together they don't bother me." How charming right?
I have to be honest; none of his 5 things surprised me. I recognize them as part of the issues I have in committing to any relationship anyways so the fact that someone finally recognizes them as issues in a relationship with me is something that I just have to come to terms with as I continue dating.
Ultimately, I can't do anything about the fact that I am young. I also could do something about never having been in a relationship, but I won't. I refuse to be in a relationship just to be in a relationship. I don't care if that means I am single for another 20 years. I am waiting for someone I really think is worth it. I could do something about the sexual expressiveness, but I don't want to. I like sex. I enjoy sex. It's fun and I am not going to apologize because I know what I want and I'm good at what I do. I could also do something about the ambition I have related to my career, but I won't. My career and my patients are really important to me and I am not going to change that just to please someone or enter into a relationship. The thing about me ignoring him for 2 weeks...well that I'll own. I definitely could have changed that and I definitely should have.
After he finished eating I offered to drive him home since he had driven me home the last time. I realized that things definitely still weren't right in the car, but I couldn't just send him back into his apartment when we got to his place. I felt like he was looking for an excuse to blow me off or just write me off completely and that annoyed me. I know this is absolutely insane, but I hate the idea that someone would write me off based on those 5 red flags. I felt like I needed to do something to prove he was wrong, even though he wasn't.
I am officially insane! I know and I can't help it. I went in for a kiss literally mid-awkward conversation where it seemed like he didn't want to see me again. I ended up in his apartment and we started making out. He stopped me and insisted that we not hook up. He told me he promised himself he wouldn't do that with me. I was being rejected sexually and I was stunned. I don't like the feeling that someone could just choose not to do something they wanted to. The idea that someone could have that kind of self control around me perturbed me a little bit. So I tried harder. Eventually I won him over and I was blowing him. Then I decided to respect his initial desires and stopped before he came. That was pretty bitchy of me but I couldn't help it. I had to prove the point that my sexual prowess could win him over.
I AM COMPLETELY INSANE!
I then left his apartment and hopped in my car and went home. I ended up seeing him again on Saturday for a cute lunch date in Harvard Square. I was super late (this is becoming a pattern for me unfortunately). We met at Tory Row and sat at the bar.
The restaurant was amazing: a great menu, a great atmosphere, and the bartender had an amazing ass. The fact that I am commenting on the bartender's ass should be a pretty good indicator for how my date went. I can't help but feel bad for how I behaved actually. I was sort of an ass. I was trying to treat him the way I treat a lot of my old friends. I was joking around and sort of making fun of him a little bit, but I'm not sure it really came off the right way. Luckily, this guy likes himself enough, and has a high enough self-esteem, that the whole time I was ribbing him he was pointing out how wrong I was.
When it came time to pay the bill I pulled out my card to pay. He insisted on paying. I said we could split it and he agreed, until the bartender brought over the bill and he literally grabbed my card out of the bartender's hand and gave it back to me. Apparently the bartender thought this guy should pay because he sort of chuckled when I again tried to pay and told me, "Nah let's let him get this one." The whole thing just seemed odd to me. I couldn't tell if the bartender had been listening and felt bad for me or if he somehow thought that this guy should be paying for me for some reason. I decided to let it go and just went to get my jacket.
BRP drove me home and we kissed in the car and I jumped out. He definitely wanted more of kiss, but I couldn't bring myself to sit in front of my house and make out with him like I have in the past. There is still something so off about the whole thing and I can't really put my finger on it.
He texted me again today to hang out, but I was studying so I told him that I would have to pass. He volunteered to come over and help and I told him he would just be a distraction. I got one of those stupid :P faces in response.
The last update I have for everyone is about the IndyGinger. I have still been talking to him almost every day. We talk either via text, facebook messenger, or actual phone call about nothing. Simply talking to him about the paper he needs to write brings a smile to my face. Its so weird. We've talked about the sex stuff we did, but we have yet to truly sext. It's oddly enough just to chat during the week.
One of the most recent calls I got from him lasted for well over 30 minutes. It wasn't the same happy guy that called me though. I finally figured out the problem with the IndyGinger. He is totally insecure. I don't know if its something to do with his family when he was growing up, the city he lives in, or some horrible ex-boyfriend he had but the IndyGinger has no self esteem. He is super concerned that his dick isn't big enough, his body isn't jacked enough, his hair isn't the right way, and that his physical appearance isn't good enough for anyone. It kills me. If he lived here I would date him in a heart beat. I would be really happy to see him as frequently as I could.
He is so eclectic and different that I can't imagine that he could feel so uncomfortable about his body. His muscles are something I could only dream of having and his dick isn't small (its definitely not huge but its nothing to laugh at either). I also learned that the IndyGinger has a history of suicidality. Typical right? Someone who I actually like, someone who I actually feel the need to continue to speak with despite being miles away from each other, thinks that they need to hurt themselves. I don't really know what to do. I am going to keep talking to him, because I can't help myself. I am also going to send him my copy of El Alquimista.
He is really into speaking/learning Spanish. He's not great, but he seems to really like it. I think that coupled with his lack of self-esteem just make it seem like he needs to read the book. Its a great story about accepting yourself for the gift you are and realizing what you already have and its something he needs to figure out. I feel like I want to save him. Again, its crazy, I know it, but I just can't help it.
So here I sit...blogging and watching reruns of the X Factor. I don't know what I'm doing. The more I try and be open and make things work the more confused I seem to get. For now I am just going to avoid analyzing anything. I am just going to accept things as they come. I am going to continue to do things that make me happy.
Well I guess that's it for now. Per usual if anyone has any advice feel free to send me a message or put a comment below.
Until Later,
Chau!!
Monday, September 30, 2013
Christening the Shower
This post is a little late in coming but better late than never I guess right?
The day after my date with the Harvard Gaymer that solidified for me that it was not really going to work out the way I had envisioned it I decided to give Hickey a call. I mean for all intents and purposes we are still fuck buddies now that he has relented that he was a little crazy in the Panera incident. Much to my surprise he responded almost immediately to my text message and was up to come over that day. For those of you not following the timeline let me lay it out nice and simple for you. I went on a date with the Harvard Gaymer, he came home with me, spent the night, left, I texted Hickey, and he came over so we could fuck that afternoon.
Normally I would be very judgmental of someone who did this because after all....what the Hell you basically traded one guy in your bed for another....except for the fact that I never came with the Harvard Gaymer so I don't really think he counts because there was nothing satisfying sexually about that sleep over.
The sex with Hickey was once again absolutely PHENOMENAL! I've got to say there is definitely something to that old thought process that crazy people have the best sex. I think its something about the lack of inhibitions that crazy people naturally have that makes them inclined to be sexual savants.
I don't even know that the sex between Hickey and me is that out-of-this-world to be honest. I think our sexual chemistry for whatever reason just clicks. The times when he just wants to be thrown around and fucked hard I'm in the mood to pick him up and throw him on the bed and have my way with him. The times when I feel like I need good lay he is there with that enormous dick just waiting to have at it. I'm not complaining I just think it is one of those really unique situations.
The best part about the sex with Hickey was HANDS-DOWN....the fact that I was able to christen my new shower. The shower has four separate shower heads on the wall and a sort of rain down spout on the ceiling. It's an awesome shower and is one of the many reasons that my current residence is so amazing. Having sex while being pelted in lots of different directions with hot water is an experience that everyone should have. Its fun, hot, and just really relaxing. I will admit that despite the amazing sex I did find myself thinking....I could definitely someone simply because they had an awesome shower or bathtub. I still haven't decided how normal that thought process really is. I mean if I was bottoming sure there is normally a lot of time to think things over in your head if you banging someone boring, but if you're topping someone who is a total freak you have to have your wits about you and there I was contemplating how nice someone's shower would have to be for me to fuck them for that factor alone. My conclusion: For me to fuck someone based solely on their bathtub or shower it would have to be very similar to the Playboy Mansion Grotto....Yes I know that makes me seem like a total Gold Digger....and NO I do NOT care.
After the wonderful afternoon of sex, Hickey and I grabbed coffee and I brought him back home. Before dropping him off I found myself running through all of the scenarios in my head. Is there anyway I could start dating this guy again? Is there anyway that I could turn this into a short term dating situation? Could this become more of a Friends with Benefits thing and less of a Fuck Buddy thing? But as I stopped my car, once again, two or three houses down on his street to make sure his uber Guyanese father did not see him getting out of my car it dawned on me...I made the right choice, a Fair Life Choice if you will.
I actually have another update about my dating life but I am going to make it a separate post completely just so nothing gets confused.
So I guess that is it for this one...
Until the next post...
Chau!!
The day after my date with the Harvard Gaymer that solidified for me that it was not really going to work out the way I had envisioned it I decided to give Hickey a call. I mean for all intents and purposes we are still fuck buddies now that he has relented that he was a little crazy in the Panera incident. Much to my surprise he responded almost immediately to my text message and was up to come over that day. For those of you not following the timeline let me lay it out nice and simple for you. I went on a date with the Harvard Gaymer, he came home with me, spent the night, left, I texted Hickey, and he came over so we could fuck that afternoon.
Normally I would be very judgmental of someone who did this because after all....what the Hell you basically traded one guy in your bed for another....except for the fact that I never came with the Harvard Gaymer so I don't really think he counts because there was nothing satisfying sexually about that sleep over.
The sex with Hickey was once again absolutely PHENOMENAL! I've got to say there is definitely something to that old thought process that crazy people have the best sex. I think its something about the lack of inhibitions that crazy people naturally have that makes them inclined to be sexual savants.
I don't even know that the sex between Hickey and me is that out-of-this-world to be honest. I think our sexual chemistry for whatever reason just clicks. The times when he just wants to be thrown around and fucked hard I'm in the mood to pick him up and throw him on the bed and have my way with him. The times when I feel like I need good lay he is there with that enormous dick just waiting to have at it. I'm not complaining I just think it is one of those really unique situations.
The best part about the sex with Hickey was HANDS-DOWN....the fact that I was able to christen my new shower. The shower has four separate shower heads on the wall and a sort of rain down spout on the ceiling. It's an awesome shower and is one of the many reasons that my current residence is so amazing. Having sex while being pelted in lots of different directions with hot water is an experience that everyone should have. Its fun, hot, and just really relaxing. I will admit that despite the amazing sex I did find myself thinking....I could definitely someone simply because they had an awesome shower or bathtub. I still haven't decided how normal that thought process really is. I mean if I was bottoming sure there is normally a lot of time to think things over in your head if you banging someone boring, but if you're topping someone who is a total freak you have to have your wits about you and there I was contemplating how nice someone's shower would have to be for me to fuck them for that factor alone. My conclusion: For me to fuck someone based solely on their bathtub or shower it would have to be very similar to the Playboy Mansion Grotto....Yes I know that makes me seem like a total Gold Digger....and NO I do NOT care.
After the wonderful afternoon of sex, Hickey and I grabbed coffee and I brought him back home. Before dropping him off I found myself running through all of the scenarios in my head. Is there anyway I could start dating this guy again? Is there anyway that I could turn this into a short term dating situation? Could this become more of a Friends with Benefits thing and less of a Fuck Buddy thing? But as I stopped my car, once again, two or three houses down on his street to make sure his uber Guyanese father did not see him getting out of my car it dawned on me...I made the right choice, a Fair Life Choice if you will.
I actually have another update about my dating life but I am going to make it a separate post completely just so nothing gets confused.
So I guess that is it for this one...
Until the next post...
Chau!!
Sunday, August 25, 2013
You Got Cum Up My Nose...
Most people would agree that one of the best ways to spend a Sunday is doing absolutely nothing. I think most people would also agree that one of the few activities that would trump a lazy Sunday would be a 4 hour sex-a-thon. Well that's what I thought...But I may have ventured into the land of PLCs....once again...
Let me start from the beginning....How many of you remember Hickey??? Yes that Hickey. Well about two weeks ago he messaged me once again on OkCupid and we began chatting. Everything was innocent enough at first. Nothing nearly as crazy as the last time that I saw him at the Panera, but at some point, probably around 11pm that night he started to sort of dirty text me. I wouldn't even say it was sexting at this point just dirty texting. Then about 30 minutes in it became full on sexting....pictures and all. To be honest I completely forgot how dirty this guy could be. The craziness had taken the place of any good character traits about him. After an hour or so of dirty texting/sexting I finally relented and gave him my number again (he had deleted it in his anger after the Panera incident).
Hickey then told me that he would be going to Jamaica for a week but he would like to see me after that. I expressed my concern that I didn't want to give him the wrong impression. I was very clear that I really was not looking to date him but if he was still interested in fooling around we might be able to do something about that. He was pretty interested in the proposition so I said I would text him when he got back from Jamaica to talk about coffee sometime.
So a week went by and I texted him again. He had a good trip and thought about what I had proposed, a friends with benefits situation more than a real dating situation, and he was still interested. I thought about this for a while before I really agreed. I remember how emotionally invested he got the last time and I didn't want a repeat, but the truth is I hadn't had sex since Hickey so...yes one head got the better of the other.
We agreed that we would meet that Sunday for coffee....by a fortunate turn of events both of my current roommates were away for the week which made my apartment a pretty conducive meeting spot. I picked him up from Ruggles (since he lives in Malden) and then drove him to my place. We had a coffee and while watching tv and catching up started making out.
Quickly we were going at it just like we had in the past. His belt was off and then I picked up all six feet of him and he wrapped his legs around me and I walked him into my room and threw him on my bed. His shirt was off next and then mine. We were both struggling to get the others button only pants off. Its sort of funny that we were both wearing pants with no zippers and only buttons and yet neither one of us anticipated that the other person would be wearing them
************************NSFW************************
The sex then progressed quickly. He gave me an amazing blowjob just as I remembered. He was really into it and pretty skilled. His dick was bigger than I remembered. He was freshly shaved and made a point to tell me that he had cleaned himself up for the occasion. Everything from that point on just became carnal instincts. A lot of pulling, pushing, a little hitting, some biting, and a whole lot of hot kissing. The foreplay and oral sex went on for about 30 minutes or so...maybe a little longer.
Then the sex began. All Hickey wanted was for me to fuck him.....it was hot as hell. I haven't been with someone who just wanted to be fucked like that in a very long time. There is something about knowing that somebody just wants you inside of them that is a huge turn on to me. So I got him to put the condom on and then had him just ride me. He was super into it....literally slamming himself onto me. Again wicked hot!
The sex continued in about 10 positions for about 2.5-3 hours. It was exactly what I needed. Just some raw fucking to get out all of the pent up frustrations with my life and all of the pent up sexual energy. The absolute best part was that there was no position that Hickey was not up to try. The deeper I could go and the harder I could thrust the happier and louder he got.
The chemistry was simply fantastic! He trusted me and was able to fluidly move his body with mine and we both had a good time. Until my phone rang....
I paused for a moment and wasn't going to answer it but Hickey must have seen how uncomfortable it made me not to answer my work phone so he literally pulled my dick out of his ass and handed me my work phone. It was a patient and someone who actually needed to talk to me so it was a good thing that we took a break. I called the patient back and started to talk things over with him....Hickey of course couldn't keep his mouth to himself for one phone call...thank God I was able to control my natural reactions to his oral skills. I finally got off the phone with the patient threw on another condom and some lube and again started going to town.
Eventually Hickey requested that we stop because his ass was getting sore.(OOPS) To be completely honest I am impressed that he lasted as long as he did....Had someone been pounding me the way I was him I definitely think I would have bitched out much sooner (Eh...maybe...I don't really know I have never been outdone yet).
Since he took such a good fucking I asked Hickey what his preference for cumming was. SO I ended up with cum all over my stomach which he promptly cleaned up and then requested that I cum on his face. I decided that the least I could do after him offering up his ass for 2 hours would be to cum on his face. It took about five minutes and then I shot a huge load across his face. Some of it ended up on his eye. He was smart enough to have his eyes closed but I still worried some would get in his eye and let's be real....that sucks...its almost as bad as toothpaste in your eye. I grabbed a towel and wiped my load off his face and suggested we shower. He said "Sure, but give me that towel...you got cum up my nose!" OOOOoooooOOOooops! I guess that happens. Who knew? I couldn't help but laugh and neither could he.
*************************SFW*************************
We then hopped in the shower together and both washed each other off. It was actually nice. We both were finally able to talk like two friends who hadn't seen each other in a long time with no weird or awkward sexual tension. For whatever reason the conversation in the shower post-coitus was the most natural conversation I had ever had with Hickey. I think that because the sexual tension had been alleviated and he felt no need to try and make sure I was still going to like him and want to date him afterward everything was just much more relaxed for the both of us.
After showering we put our clothes back on and headed out to the living room and just sat and talked for a while...again like old friends. I tried to get him to go for a round two...I even volunteered to let him fuck me....I even pulled out one of my best deep throat tricks...which almost made him cum again, but he was pretty adamant that he didn't want a second round. To each his own I guess right? After talking for probably an hour he apologized for being so crazy when we were dating. He blamed it on recently having come out and recently having gotten out of a relationship. Then we grabbed coffee and I brought him home to Malden and headed back to my place to just enjoy the rest of my night.
When all is said and done he hasn't texted me since then unless I text him first and he has been pretty normal. I'm thinking this kind of friends with benefits arrangement might work out really well for the both of us and I can't say that I hate it. We shall see where this goes, but who knew we hadn't see the end of Hickey...life works in mysterious ways I guess.
Well Until Next Time....
Chau!!
Let me start from the beginning....How many of you remember Hickey??? Yes that Hickey. Well about two weeks ago he messaged me once again on OkCupid and we began chatting. Everything was innocent enough at first. Nothing nearly as crazy as the last time that I saw him at the Panera, but at some point, probably around 11pm that night he started to sort of dirty text me. I wouldn't even say it was sexting at this point just dirty texting. Then about 30 minutes in it became full on sexting....pictures and all. To be honest I completely forgot how dirty this guy could be. The craziness had taken the place of any good character traits about him. After an hour or so of dirty texting/sexting I finally relented and gave him my number again (he had deleted it in his anger after the Panera incident).
Hickey then told me that he would be going to Jamaica for a week but he would like to see me after that. I expressed my concern that I didn't want to give him the wrong impression. I was very clear that I really was not looking to date him but if he was still interested in fooling around we might be able to do something about that. He was pretty interested in the proposition so I said I would text him when he got back from Jamaica to talk about coffee sometime.
So a week went by and I texted him again. He had a good trip and thought about what I had proposed, a friends with benefits situation more than a real dating situation, and he was still interested. I thought about this for a while before I really agreed. I remember how emotionally invested he got the last time and I didn't want a repeat, but the truth is I hadn't had sex since Hickey so...yes one head got the better of the other.
We agreed that we would meet that Sunday for coffee....by a fortunate turn of events both of my current roommates were away for the week which made my apartment a pretty conducive meeting spot. I picked him up from Ruggles (since he lives in Malden) and then drove him to my place. We had a coffee and while watching tv and catching up started making out.
Quickly we were going at it just like we had in the past. His belt was off and then I picked up all six feet of him and he wrapped his legs around me and I walked him into my room and threw him on my bed. His shirt was off next and then mine. We were both struggling to get the others button only pants off. Its sort of funny that we were both wearing pants with no zippers and only buttons and yet neither one of us anticipated that the other person would be wearing them
************************NSFW************************
The sex then progressed quickly. He gave me an amazing blowjob just as I remembered. He was really into it and pretty skilled. His dick was bigger than I remembered. He was freshly shaved and made a point to tell me that he had cleaned himself up for the occasion. Everything from that point on just became carnal instincts. A lot of pulling, pushing, a little hitting, some biting, and a whole lot of hot kissing. The foreplay and oral sex went on for about 30 minutes or so...maybe a little longer.
Then the sex began. All Hickey wanted was for me to fuck him.....it was hot as hell. I haven't been with someone who just wanted to be fucked like that in a very long time. There is something about knowing that somebody just wants you inside of them that is a huge turn on to me. So I got him to put the condom on and then had him just ride me. He was super into it....literally slamming himself onto me. Again wicked hot!
The sex continued in about 10 positions for about 2.5-3 hours. It was exactly what I needed. Just some raw fucking to get out all of the pent up frustrations with my life and all of the pent up sexual energy. The absolute best part was that there was no position that Hickey was not up to try. The deeper I could go and the harder I could thrust the happier and louder he got.
The chemistry was simply fantastic! He trusted me and was able to fluidly move his body with mine and we both had a good time. Until my phone rang....
I paused for a moment and wasn't going to answer it but Hickey must have seen how uncomfortable it made me not to answer my work phone so he literally pulled my dick out of his ass and handed me my work phone. It was a patient and someone who actually needed to talk to me so it was a good thing that we took a break. I called the patient back and started to talk things over with him....Hickey of course couldn't keep his mouth to himself for one phone call...thank God I was able to control my natural reactions to his oral skills. I finally got off the phone with the patient threw on another condom and some lube and again started going to town.
Eventually Hickey requested that we stop because his ass was getting sore.(OOPS) To be completely honest I am impressed that he lasted as long as he did....Had someone been pounding me the way I was him I definitely think I would have bitched out much sooner (Eh...maybe...I don't really know I have never been outdone yet).
Since he took such a good fucking I asked Hickey what his preference for cumming was. SO I ended up with cum all over my stomach which he promptly cleaned up and then requested that I cum on his face. I decided that the least I could do after him offering up his ass for 2 hours would be to cum on his face. It took about five minutes and then I shot a huge load across his face. Some of it ended up on his eye. He was smart enough to have his eyes closed but I still worried some would get in his eye and let's be real....that sucks...its almost as bad as toothpaste in your eye. I grabbed a towel and wiped my load off his face and suggested we shower. He said "Sure, but give me that towel...you got cum up my nose!" OOOOoooooOOOooops! I guess that happens. Who knew? I couldn't help but laugh and neither could he.
*************************SFW*************************
We then hopped in the shower together and both washed each other off. It was actually nice. We both were finally able to talk like two friends who hadn't seen each other in a long time with no weird or awkward sexual tension. For whatever reason the conversation in the shower post-coitus was the most natural conversation I had ever had with Hickey. I think that because the sexual tension had been alleviated and he felt no need to try and make sure I was still going to like him and want to date him afterward everything was just much more relaxed for the both of us.
After showering we put our clothes back on and headed out to the living room and just sat and talked for a while...again like old friends. I tried to get him to go for a round two...I even volunteered to let him fuck me....I even pulled out one of my best deep throat tricks...which almost made him cum again, but he was pretty adamant that he didn't want a second round. To each his own I guess right? After talking for probably an hour he apologized for being so crazy when we were dating. He blamed it on recently having come out and recently having gotten out of a relationship. Then we grabbed coffee and I brought him home to Malden and headed back to my place to just enjoy the rest of my night.
When all is said and done he hasn't texted me since then unless I text him first and he has been pretty normal. I'm thinking this kind of friends with benefits arrangement might work out really well for the both of us and I can't say that I hate it. We shall see where this goes, but who knew we hadn't see the end of Hickey...life works in mysterious ways I guess.
Well Until Next Time....
Chau!!
Monday, August 5, 2013
I Totally Forgot the Worst Part!
And I totally forgot the worst part....
I have professed on this blog before that I NEVER get hickeys. The one guy who was every able to give me a hickey was actually trying and it only lasted for a day...max....But after my rendezvous the other night I woke up to this. Its hard to tell in the photo, but it is two bite marks on my neck...Like I was bitten by one of the True Blood Vampires....
That's right the 5'4" Top Only Asian Harvard Architecture student managed to leave two bite marks in the shape of his actual teeth on my neck for three days. I have NO idea how that happened. I don't even really remember him sucking on my neck or a time when he bit me. The worst part is I wasn't even drinking so you would think that if someone bit me hard enough to leave to marks that I would at least have a recollection of the incident but honest to God...I don't remember a damn thing...
Oh well... Now I really think that's it....
Chau!
I have professed on this blog before that I NEVER get hickeys. The one guy who was every able to give me a hickey was actually trying and it only lasted for a day...max....But after my rendezvous the other night I woke up to this. Its hard to tell in the photo, but it is two bite marks on my neck...Like I was bitten by one of the True Blood Vampires....
That's right the 5'4" Top Only Asian Harvard Architecture student managed to leave two bite marks in the shape of his actual teeth on my neck for three days. I have NO idea how that happened. I don't even really remember him sucking on my neck or a time when he bit me. The worst part is I wasn't even drinking so you would think that if someone bit me hard enough to leave to marks that I would at least have a recollection of the incident but honest to God...I don't remember a damn thing...
Oh well... Now I really think that's it....
Chau!
Thursday, July 18, 2013
Almost Mistakes....
Since I got back from PTown I have attempted to be on my best behavior. I've also been working enough that I haven't really even had time to think about anything other than my patients. I did get the chance to actually go on OKCupid and talk to a few new people though....some of them even seem normal. But in the midst of my decision to enter back into the world of online dating I got a message from Hickey....
Yep that's right, Hickey, the guy who sent me 11 text messages in a row at 5am, the guy who stormed out of a Panera because "I'm not through, we're through", the guy who hated the idea of me dating someone else so much they tried to give me a hickey to get someone I was on a date with to ask about it....
Most sane people would ignore a message from someone this crazy....Not Me! I decided that I should answer. He seemed genuinely interested in just chatting. Just chatting of course led to him asking for my number again, which means he must have deleted it from his phone, and texting on the phone led to the real intention of the online dating message. Hickey is looking for a fuck buddy.
I think finally being out and still not having a steady boyfriend that he can have sex with sort of bothers him. He started insinuating that he would be down to just get together every now and then and fuck and to be honest I really did think this was a good idea at first. We had great sexual chemistry. The sex was NEVER the problem....it was the pillow talk afterwards that always caused issues.
Ultimately the texts turned into sexts which turned into me....home alone wishing this guy would come over so I could fuck him senseless. It was at this point I realized that this motherfucker was crazy enough to try and use sex as a ploy to get back into contact with me again. After being really clear that this would be nothing other than sex and I was not interested in it going further he finally started to back off of the idea eventually.
I honestly feel bad about the whole situation. I wish I could make myself like this guy more than I do. I wish that I could just have a boyfriend that meant nothing to me like so many other people do, but I just can't. I have a few friends who think that because I go on dates with people and never make them an official boyfriend I must be a slut....its actually quite the opposite I think. I refuse to give someone a special place in my life if there is no chance in hell that it is going to work out beyond the next two weeks. I have to see that this could for longer than the next couple months and however long it takes until the sex becomes boring. I think that is the biggest challenge. I don't think there is anything wrong with having sex outside of a relationship. If I have been on dates with people I need to know that the sex stuff works well before I continue to date them and especially before I choose to be in a relationship with them. And now I am rambling....
I guess there really isn't much else to say about this situation. Now I will just have to continue to wait until something comes along too good or too bad to pass up.
Chau!!!
Yep that's right, Hickey, the guy who sent me 11 text messages in a row at 5am, the guy who stormed out of a Panera because "I'm not through, we're through", the guy who hated the idea of me dating someone else so much they tried to give me a hickey to get someone I was on a date with to ask about it....
Most sane people would ignore a message from someone this crazy....Not Me! I decided that I should answer. He seemed genuinely interested in just chatting. Just chatting of course led to him asking for my number again, which means he must have deleted it from his phone, and texting on the phone led to the real intention of the online dating message. Hickey is looking for a fuck buddy.
I think finally being out and still not having a steady boyfriend that he can have sex with sort of bothers him. He started insinuating that he would be down to just get together every now and then and fuck and to be honest I really did think this was a good idea at first. We had great sexual chemistry. The sex was NEVER the problem....it was the pillow talk afterwards that always caused issues.
Ultimately the texts turned into sexts which turned into me....home alone wishing this guy would come over so I could fuck him senseless. It was at this point I realized that this motherfucker was crazy enough to try and use sex as a ploy to get back into contact with me again. After being really clear that this would be nothing other than sex and I was not interested in it going further he finally started to back off of the idea eventually.
I honestly feel bad about the whole situation. I wish I could make myself like this guy more than I do. I wish that I could just have a boyfriend that meant nothing to me like so many other people do, but I just can't. I have a few friends who think that because I go on dates with people and never make them an official boyfriend I must be a slut....its actually quite the opposite I think. I refuse to give someone a special place in my life if there is no chance in hell that it is going to work out beyond the next two weeks. I have to see that this could for longer than the next couple months and however long it takes until the sex becomes boring. I think that is the biggest challenge. I don't think there is anything wrong with having sex outside of a relationship. If I have been on dates with people I need to know that the sex stuff works well before I continue to date them and especially before I choose to be in a relationship with them. And now I am rambling....
I guess there really isn't much else to say about this situation. Now I will just have to continue to wait until something comes along too good or too bad to pass up.
Chau!!!
Monday, March 25, 2013
Just When you Thought it Couldn't Get Crazier...
So I got a little side tracked the last two weeks because I directed a musical (Yes, Apparently I am that gay...who knew?)
I forgot to tell you all what ended up happening with Hickey. So last we left off I had received a bunch of crazy text messages from him early in the morning. Well I met with him that evening to discuss things. We ended up meeting at his work and walking to a nearby Panera. Well when we got there we both got coffee and then sat down to begin the conversation.
Basically, Hickey reiterated everything he had said in his texts and I just sat and listened. He was fairly adamant that he had made up his mind that he was going to wait for me. Until I was willing to be his boyfriend. He was just going to wait me out....that was his plan...it was at this point that I realized I needed to do a little reality checking much like I do with my patients at work.
I looked him in the eye and just said, "Yea but I don't know that is necessarily going to happen. I mean I don't know that you and I are ever necessarily going to be boyfriends." Then he stared at me, the awkward stare he had done so many times before, and we just sat there. Then he looked at me and said ,"So we're through then."
I didn't know exactly how to respond. I said, "No that's not what I said, I just think that maybe you have different expectations of this than I do. If we keep dating that might the extent of it for me. That's what I'm saying." Then as if I had kicked him under the table, Hickey jumped to his feet and said, "No we're through."
Then as if it was a fucking movie he just kept repeating that, "No we're through. We're just through. That's it we're through." I tried to redirect him and repeated that "No that's not necessarily what I'm saying either. But it seems like you want it to be through, like maybe you're through." Then his volume increased and he half shouted, "No I'm not through, WE'RE through. We're through that's it." I had never been so angry that his jacket had that many buttons in my life. Things were getting to be quite the spectacle. He was repeating, "We're through" like a crazy person while angrily buttoning the endless number of buttons on his jacket. The small group of Asian people who hadn't spoken English yet at the table behind us were now staring. The black couple across the sitting area had also stopped talking and were holding hands and just openly staring at the two of us. And I just sat there, sipping my coffee. I mean what else would you do in that situation?
Every time I talked it just seemed to agitate Hickey more and the crazy level just kept kicking it up a notch. Finally he finished buttoning his jacket and he left the Panera in quite the gay huff. That is the last time I try to be a grown up about this kind of stuff. I mean if someone seems crazy I am just going to phase them out....its much less awkward then meeting them and let them be crazy again in public.
Well back to the drawing board...Maybe the spring will bring me some new sort of romance...Let's hope...
Chau!!
I forgot to tell you all what ended up happening with Hickey. So last we left off I had received a bunch of crazy text messages from him early in the morning. Well I met with him that evening to discuss things. We ended up meeting at his work and walking to a nearby Panera. Well when we got there we both got coffee and then sat down to begin the conversation.
Basically, Hickey reiterated everything he had said in his texts and I just sat and listened. He was fairly adamant that he had made up his mind that he was going to wait for me. Until I was willing to be his boyfriend. He was just going to wait me out....that was his plan...it was at this point that I realized I needed to do a little reality checking much like I do with my patients at work.
I looked him in the eye and just said, "Yea but I don't know that is necessarily going to happen. I mean I don't know that you and I are ever necessarily going to be boyfriends." Then he stared at me, the awkward stare he had done so many times before, and we just sat there. Then he looked at me and said ,"So we're through then."
I didn't know exactly how to respond. I said, "No that's not what I said, I just think that maybe you have different expectations of this than I do. If we keep dating that might the extent of it for me. That's what I'm saying." Then as if I had kicked him under the table, Hickey jumped to his feet and said, "No we're through."
Then as if it was a fucking movie he just kept repeating that, "No we're through. We're just through. That's it we're through." I tried to redirect him and repeated that "No that's not necessarily what I'm saying either. But it seems like you want it to be through, like maybe you're through." Then his volume increased and he half shouted, "No I'm not through, WE'RE through. We're through that's it." I had never been so angry that his jacket had that many buttons in my life. Things were getting to be quite the spectacle. He was repeating, "We're through" like a crazy person while angrily buttoning the endless number of buttons on his jacket. The small group of Asian people who hadn't spoken English yet at the table behind us were now staring. The black couple across the sitting area had also stopped talking and were holding hands and just openly staring at the two of us. And I just sat there, sipping my coffee. I mean what else would you do in that situation?
Every time I talked it just seemed to agitate Hickey more and the crazy level just kept kicking it up a notch. Finally he finished buttoning his jacket and he left the Panera in quite the gay huff. That is the last time I try to be a grown up about this kind of stuff. I mean if someone seems crazy I am just going to phase them out....its much less awkward then meeting them and let them be crazy again in public.
Well back to the drawing board...Maybe the spring will bring me some new sort of romance...Let's hope...
Chau!!
Tuesday, March 5, 2013
Am I a CRAZY Magnet?
For those of you who have been following my blog for the last month or so you have already heard about Hickey. Those of you who are just tuning in....I suggest going back and reading the other two posts about him otherwise you will probably be very confused while you read this one.
I had a fourth date with Hickey yesterday and everything seemed to go as planned. We met up and this time we ended up getting smoothies and some food at Boloco, think a locally owned Qdoba. Its nice enough not what I would expect for a date but Hickey seemed to actually enjoy himself this time which was definitely a change of pace. I mean he still did the weird I'm going to stare at you in silence thing but it was less frequent, and he did talk a little bit this time and he actually ate something.
Not to get sidetracked, but I think this was this first time I have seen the guy eat in the four dates that we have had. He has a sick body don't get me wrong. The guy is skinny, but lately I have noticed throughout the course of our few dates he has bulked up some which is something I am definitely not going to complain about. Actually thinking back on it he ate on our second date but nothing extraordinary. If we're speaking frankly the guy, with his clothes on, looks like he could be in one of the Feed the Children commercials where they tell you that for less than the price of one cup of coffee you can feed a child for a day in some weird country you have never heard of in your life. It was nice to see him eat. Okay back to the main story...how shallow of me to get sidetracked about a guys weight and body type...you'd think I was gay or something...
After finishing eating we headed back to my room where he informed me we were definitely not going to be having sex....Ummm yea sure...
I realized when he said that that I definitely have a slight problem. I mean I can go a while without having sex with someone that I am dating, but once I have sex with you....GAME ON....I mean especially after only having had sex once.
So naturally we started going at it despite his insistence that we would definitely not be having sex that night. And as we were he asked if I wouldn't mind being a little bit rougher and a little more domineering. Now for those of you who are worried that this means I am going to turn this blog into some sort of gay version of the 50 Shades novels fear not...I put those books to shame. Let's be real don't unleash my inner sexual dominant side unless you are really ready to handle it. I read people pretty well so knowing exactly what buttons to push to get someone to be so filled with sexual desire they'd do anything is something that comes pretty naturally to me.
In the post-coital pillow talk we began talking more than we had the entire date so far, another thing that has become pretty typical with him and me. One of the first things I complimented him on his ability to control his texting me throughout the week. And in that conversation he asked once again about my dating life very indirectly and I informed him that I had been on a date since our last one with another guy. He did not take this very well....I had been so happy because I thought I had been wrong about him becoming a STAGE 12 CLINGER and then I got the reaction of a lifetime to what I thought was a seemingly innocuous answer to a pretty easy question. The guy literally clammed up and got pouty like a four year old who had been scolded for having one too many cookies. Then he got angry and said Well I thought that you weren't doing that anymore.
At this point I had been completely thrown off my game. I thought I had been explicitly clear with this guy regarding my desire to date people besides him. I thought I had been very clear that we weren't boyfriends and that we were simply two guys who were dating. Then he said I should have listened to my coworkers they said if you wanted to date other people that I shouldn't be with you.
Again I was thrown for a loop. I just started apologizing. I mean what else does one do in this situation. "I'm sorry if I miscommunicated with you. I tried to be very clear from the outset that that was not what I was looking for." And then it started, the pouting turned into an almost inaudible deep breathing which I have become all too familiar with working in an Emergency Department. It's the breath sound associated with the forthcoming tears. That's right the guy literally folded into my arms and was choking back tears because I had been on a date with someone besides him. I continued apologizing. "I'm sorry I'm a dickhead." "You deserve better than me." "I'm sorry I didn't mean to give you the wrong impression." "I'm sorry, please don't hate me." One of the last apologies I made was something along the lines of "Listen if you hate me for now, can we be friends eventually." Suddenly he went from sad and almost despondent to pissed. He got up and started getting dressed like he had some place to be.
I got up and started to try and talk to him and I probably would have had better luck getting a response from a wall. I offered to walk him to the train station, which he begrudgingly accepted. Then when we got to the station he stood there staring at me and acting as if I had seriously betrayed him. Before he left I got a very angry hug, you know the kind little kids give when they are being forced to apologize to someone against their will. I thought for sure things were completely done. This guy was going to hate me forever. Still I texted him about a half an hour later to make sure that he got home safely and I got the curtest answer possible....K.
And I thought it was over. I had a glass of wine, ordered some takeout, watched some TV and then fell asleep. In the morning I was awakened by the sound of my phone receiving not one, but multiple text messages in a row....11 to be exact.....for those of you curious, I have transcribed them below.....
Text 1
Good morning. To be honest no I don't hate you. Truth is I love/like you. I'm not falling too too hard for you. But deep down inside I love you. I know that sounds weird. Lol..
Text 2
I just want us to forget about what happened last night. Well not the sex part lol. That I enjoyed ALOT. I really and truly don't wanna lose you. And I would hope that in the future when your ready to settle that I'm the one but I can't decide that.
Text 3
I want to be more than friends with you and don't ever say that again, I was gonna punch you in the throat. I hate when guys break up with you and then they try to pull the friend card. That's a deal breaker for me. MAJOR RED FLAG. Lol.
Text 4
But again I don't wanna lose you. And I want to continue dating you. And I want us to have more and more sex. Please sir lol. I love spending time with you. Although we have our awkward moments but its cute.
Text 5
I do find you very attractive.
Text 6
I think what the problem is, is me. And I came to realize that now. And I'm sorry if I seen too dramatic about the whole thing. I'm sorry. I'm kinda embarrassed.
Text 7
But I wanna continue dating you. I don't hate you. No your not a douche, I had worse, your not a dick head,. I think your a tool though lol. Just being honest with that one.
Text 8
I'm new to this dating thing and I don't know how to deal with a guy that dates other guys.
Text 9
I like your honesty that's a plus.
Text 10
And one more thing I still wanna have sex with you.
Text 11
Lol...that's all I have to say I think lol. For now I guess, uh yeah...Lol. That's it hehe.
Now I am going to avoid breaking this down text by text because I feel like that might be overkill, but let's talk about some of the highlights shall we.
Good things: He recognizes that he was unreasonable. He thinks I'm attractive. He still wants to have sex with me.
Bad things: This guy is FUCKING CRAZY!!! I mean if you send me a text message with MAJOR RED FLAG in all capital letters then I think it would be remiss of me to ignore that as anything except a sign from whatever God or supreme being we are all supposed to believe in.
To me it is pretty obvious what must be done so I have texted Hickey about meeting tonight to discuss through some of this stuff. Normally I would throw out the friend card or the fuck buddy card to sort of save face, but I am thinking that Hickey is not the type of guy that can emotionally handle something like that. He needs concrete lines and delineations in his life, which is exactly the kind of thing that I am trying to avoid. Whether me bailing on this guy is a result of my commitment phobia, or his absolute insanity is probably something up for questioning, but either way I think this is the death of Hickey.
We shall see what the night has in store, but I'm not going to hold my breath.
Until next time...
Chau!!!
I had a fourth date with Hickey yesterday and everything seemed to go as planned. We met up and this time we ended up getting smoothies and some food at Boloco, think a locally owned Qdoba. Its nice enough not what I would expect for a date but Hickey seemed to actually enjoy himself this time which was definitely a change of pace. I mean he still did the weird I'm going to stare at you in silence thing but it was less frequent, and he did talk a little bit this time and he actually ate something.
Not to get sidetracked, but I think this was this first time I have seen the guy eat in the four dates that we have had. He has a sick body don't get me wrong. The guy is skinny, but lately I have noticed throughout the course of our few dates he has bulked up some which is something I am definitely not going to complain about. Actually thinking back on it he ate on our second date but nothing extraordinary. If we're speaking frankly the guy, with his clothes on, looks like he could be in one of the Feed the Children commercials where they tell you that for less than the price of one cup of coffee you can feed a child for a day in some weird country you have never heard of in your life. It was nice to see him eat. Okay back to the main story...how shallow of me to get sidetracked about a guys weight and body type...you'd think I was gay or something...
After finishing eating we headed back to my room where he informed me we were definitely not going to be having sex....Ummm yea sure...
I realized when he said that that I definitely have a slight problem. I mean I can go a while without having sex with someone that I am dating, but once I have sex with you....GAME ON....I mean especially after only having had sex once.
So naturally we started going at it despite his insistence that we would definitely not be having sex that night. And as we were he asked if I wouldn't mind being a little bit rougher and a little more domineering. Now for those of you who are worried that this means I am going to turn this blog into some sort of gay version of the 50 Shades novels fear not...I put those books to shame. Let's be real don't unleash my inner sexual dominant side unless you are really ready to handle it. I read people pretty well so knowing exactly what buttons to push to get someone to be so filled with sexual desire they'd do anything is something that comes pretty naturally to me.
*****NSFW*****
We started with the pretty normal Suck my dick, bitch kind of stuff while I completely ignored the fact that his cock even existed, a feat which would have been much easier had his dick not been so big and hard and dripping. Then stuff tended to move into the more aggressive side with me throwing him around, slapping his ass, a little bit of spitting, a little bit more of me beating up on his body. And then I couldn't take it anymore and I flipped him over and just started fucking his ass. Initially he definitely pulled away a little bit, but after a few minutes he really got into it and started to slam his ass back against me. The guy just wanted the dick. I then proceeded to tease him a little bit more and after a few more minutes I flipped him over and started to fuck him while looking into his eyes. He couldn't take it anymore. I don't know if he couldn't take it because he was going to cum or because his ass was sore, but either way he insisted I stop. So being the gentleman I am, I obliged and removed my dick from his ass. We finished each other off with very little finesse. A lot of dirty talk, which has somehow become a specialty of ours, and him slurping up my load. All in a date's work....or so I thought.
****SFW****
In the post-coital pillow talk we began talking more than we had the entire date so far, another thing that has become pretty typical with him and me. One of the first things I complimented him on his ability to control his texting me throughout the week. And in that conversation he asked once again about my dating life very indirectly and I informed him that I had been on a date since our last one with another guy. He did not take this very well....I had been so happy because I thought I had been wrong about him becoming a STAGE 12 CLINGER and then I got the reaction of a lifetime to what I thought was a seemingly innocuous answer to a pretty easy question. The guy literally clammed up and got pouty like a four year old who had been scolded for having one too many cookies. Then he got angry and said Well I thought that you weren't doing that anymore.
At this point I had been completely thrown off my game. I thought I had been explicitly clear with this guy regarding my desire to date people besides him. I thought I had been very clear that we weren't boyfriends and that we were simply two guys who were dating. Then he said I should have listened to my coworkers they said if you wanted to date other people that I shouldn't be with you.
Again I was thrown for a loop. I just started apologizing. I mean what else does one do in this situation. "I'm sorry if I miscommunicated with you. I tried to be very clear from the outset that that was not what I was looking for." And then it started, the pouting turned into an almost inaudible deep breathing which I have become all too familiar with working in an Emergency Department. It's the breath sound associated with the forthcoming tears. That's right the guy literally folded into my arms and was choking back tears because I had been on a date with someone besides him. I continued apologizing. "I'm sorry I'm a dickhead." "You deserve better than me." "I'm sorry I didn't mean to give you the wrong impression." "I'm sorry, please don't hate me." One of the last apologies I made was something along the lines of "Listen if you hate me for now, can we be friends eventually." Suddenly he went from sad and almost despondent to pissed. He got up and started getting dressed like he had some place to be.
I got up and started to try and talk to him and I probably would have had better luck getting a response from a wall. I offered to walk him to the train station, which he begrudgingly accepted. Then when we got to the station he stood there staring at me and acting as if I had seriously betrayed him. Before he left I got a very angry hug, you know the kind little kids give when they are being forced to apologize to someone against their will. I thought for sure things were completely done. This guy was going to hate me forever. Still I texted him about a half an hour later to make sure that he got home safely and I got the curtest answer possible....K.
And I thought it was over. I had a glass of wine, ordered some takeout, watched some TV and then fell asleep. In the morning I was awakened by the sound of my phone receiving not one, but multiple text messages in a row....11 to be exact.....for those of you curious, I have transcribed them below.....
Text 1
Good morning. To be honest no I don't hate you. Truth is I love/like you. I'm not falling too too hard for you. But deep down inside I love you. I know that sounds weird. Lol..
Text 2
I just want us to forget about what happened last night. Well not the sex part lol. That I enjoyed ALOT. I really and truly don't wanna lose you. And I would hope that in the future when your ready to settle that I'm the one but I can't decide that.
Text 3
I want to be more than friends with you and don't ever say that again, I was gonna punch you in the throat. I hate when guys break up with you and then they try to pull the friend card. That's a deal breaker for me. MAJOR RED FLAG. Lol.
Text 4
But again I don't wanna lose you. And I want to continue dating you. And I want us to have more and more sex. Please sir lol. I love spending time with you. Although we have our awkward moments but its cute.
Text 5
I do find you very attractive.
Text 6
I think what the problem is, is me. And I came to realize that now. And I'm sorry if I seen too dramatic about the whole thing. I'm sorry. I'm kinda embarrassed.
Text 7
But I wanna continue dating you. I don't hate you. No your not a douche, I had worse, your not a dick head,. I think your a tool though lol. Just being honest with that one.
Text 8
I'm new to this dating thing and I don't know how to deal with a guy that dates other guys.
Text 9
I like your honesty that's a plus.
Text 10
And one more thing I still wanna have sex with you.
Text 11
Lol...that's all I have to say I think lol. For now I guess, uh yeah...Lol. That's it hehe.
Now I am going to avoid breaking this down text by text because I feel like that might be overkill, but let's talk about some of the highlights shall we.
Good things: He recognizes that he was unreasonable. He thinks I'm attractive. He still wants to have sex with me.
Bad things: This guy is FUCKING CRAZY!!! I mean if you send me a text message with MAJOR RED FLAG in all capital letters then I think it would be remiss of me to ignore that as anything except a sign from whatever God or supreme being we are all supposed to believe in.
To me it is pretty obvious what must be done so I have texted Hickey about meeting tonight to discuss through some of this stuff. Normally I would throw out the friend card or the fuck buddy card to sort of save face, but I am thinking that Hickey is not the type of guy that can emotionally handle something like that. He needs concrete lines and delineations in his life, which is exactly the kind of thing that I am trying to avoid. Whether me bailing on this guy is a result of my commitment phobia, or his absolute insanity is probably something up for questioning, but either way I think this is the death of Hickey.
We shall see what the night has in store, but I'm not going to hold my breath.
Until next time...
Chau!!!
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