SO as I had told you all things with BRP were over. I had texted him and he seemed to accept everything really well. Then tonight....at about 2:30AM this motherfucker texts me "You clearly weren't that interested, which is cool, but I get it, I'm not your type."
Seriously at 2:30am on a Thursday/Friday after Christmas. I thought you were a grown up with a real job like me. I answered because I thought it might be a patient and then when I read it I couldn't just go back to sleep. I actually answered him. That's right I answered him and said that he actually was my type I just felt guilty I couldn't give him the time I thought he deserved.
As previously discussed here I didn't really feel that way, but I think its a lot better then saying...."on paper you are perfect, everything I've ever imagined my future husband would be, but for some reason there is no spark. I don't see fireworks when we kiss. I don't get lost in your eyes. I don't find myself helplessly checking you out every time you walk away from me." Am I crazy here? I mean I needed to be honest which is why I said we shouldn't see each other, but I don't want to hurt the guy's feelings either because the truth is he is perfect on paper and he is super nice.
The rest of the conversation progressed exactly as you would have imagined. But one thing distinctively caught my eye. In one of the texts he said, "I miss our sex...lol" Anybody remember where they have seen that before??? Maybe with Hickey? How crazy is that? I'm still floored, but it definitely just clued me in to the kind of craziness I am actually dealing with when I talk to this guy.
At around 3am when I realized this texting was going no where fast I even volunteered to let the guy come over to talk it out, which he thankfully denied. He did try to get me to see him tomorrow though. I, THANK GOD, have to work and study for an exam I am taking on Saturday.
I feel bad...the guy is perfect on paper but there is just something off about it....
The perfect example of that is this whole conversation we had tonight. A totally appropriate conversation to have had when I first told you I thought maybe it wasn't a great idea to see each other anymore. But you brought it up almost 2.5 weeks later at 2:30am undoubtedly after coming home drunk from a bar. It's just weird.
I digress....just needed to get that off my chest. I actually have two more updates but they're about people who aren't in the race anymore.
Until Next Time,
Chau!!
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