Sorry for the lack of updates here. My life has been crazy and to be completely honest I had kind of put the idea of ever finding someone legitimate on hold after the Hufflepuff. I was pretty devastated for a relationship that hadn't really even started yet. It was pretty unreasonable to be honest. What did I care if he didn't like me back? Except I really did care...a lot. Recently The Hufflepuff recently changed his Facebook status and my distant longing that he would change his mind about who I am and what he wanted faded away. I threw myself into work. Like I always do. I'm now up to 6 jobs and grad school. To be honest even I am starting to think it is getting a little ridiculous and that I should probably slow down, but I'll be damned if I am going to let anyone else tell me that......mother........
So this weekend I flew across the country to see one of my friends from nursing school marry the love of her life. Amidst my own self-deprecation and heart ache I was going to be supportive of my friend who has successfully navigated the one thing that despite my jobs I have been unable to figure out...how to find the love of your life.
Jokingly, before I flew out, my friend had mentioned that she thought it would be a sort of brilliant piece of life theater if I found the love of my life at her wedding. I laughed it off, but secretly I of course hoped that she was right. I crossed my fingers that when I flew into Seattle my own personal Brawny Paper Towel man would be helping me get my bags off the plane and offer me a suggestion about a hiking trail. I would coyly ask for him to be my personal Sacagawea (of course he would be some ethnic mix that would lend him to be both a burly mountain man and the male version of the folkloric Native American maze-runner) and guide me through his most treasured hiking trail. I'd try and sleep with him in the middle of woods and he would redirect all of my sexual frustrations to building as close a relationship as possible in the four days that I was in town.
Well that didn't happen. I arrived sans pomp and circumstance and spent the first two days in Seattle alone with my books. I fielded a few phone calls from work but mostly kept to myself and dwelt on the fact that I was utterly alone. Most of the time I was fine, but as I navigated through the Pike Place Market alone and sat at a lovely French Bistro with nothing but the jibes of the newest David Sedaris book to keep me company, I kept looking for my Brawny Man.
The wedding was lovely. The bride was gorgeous, the groom was handsome, and the ceremony was just the right amount of sap and sass to prove that they were a real and lasting couple. It truly made me wonder if I would ever have a love like that or if I would just be the eternal wedding guest, good for a dance and to entertain your gay cousin for the evening, but not really ever having a relationship that was more serious than that.
So the night after the wedding I splurged on a hotel room in Downtown Seattle at a place called the Paramount. In almost some kind of alternative joke universe I was informed that my room had been upgraded free of charge to the Master Suite. It was both exciting and devastating! I think almost everyone gets excited at the idea of a bigger bathroom with additional amenities, but the thought of being in a hotel room that was bigger than my studio apartment at home in Boston....all alone....did nothing except remind me that I was by myself and had no one to even call and enjoy this amazing opportunity with beyond my SnapChat story and my mother.....less than desirable to say the least.
I forced myself to go out. I hit up the local gay concierge and asked for a recommendation, Queer Bar, HOW ORIGINAL!! But at this point I was willing to give anything a shot. I got in my Uber and arrived just as the bar was starting to get busy. It was like a who's who of Seattle's Gender Spectrum. I think every drag queen, king, and gender non-binary person was attempting to dance with the likes of the 10-15 cisgendered gay men who had come out for a night of debauchery. I was enjoying my second sip of the vokda/RedBull I had ordered when this fairly tall gangly white boy came of no where and said, "Can I buy you a drink?"
I was totally off-kilter. Who was this guy? Why was he offering me a drink when mine was full? How drunk was he? Was he here alone? Why was he wearing those ugly shorts? It didn't take long until all of those questions were quickly answered. Apparently the SeattleCasanova, had come to the bar with his best friend and had just been shot down by two other guys that evening. There was a certain endearing quality to him and after a bit of conversation I learned that he had only come out to his family a month ago and that he had tried doing the online dating thing in the past but now that he was out wanted to give the real life thing a try.
I don't know why, if it was the booze, if it was my loneliness, if it was the suite that I didn't want to go to waste, but I invited SeattleCasanova home with me. I insisted that he drink more water, and I insisted that we wouldn't be having sex. I actually was that horny, I had taken care of that 2-3 times before I even decided to go out.
Once we got home SeattleCasanova took off his clothes to get into bed to snuggle and I realized that the bulky clothes he was wearing were actually covering up a well defined body that was clearly the product of the gym, genetics, and some dedication to outdoorsman activities. The most surprising revelation had to be not the body underneath the clothes or the meaty cock that he had been hiding in the ugliest pair of plaid shorts I had ever seen in my entire life....was this giant tatoo of a cephalod on his right rib cage. It was gorgeous and colorful and incited an instant connection with this stranger beyond simply being two lonely gay men in a club in Seattle. The night was great and we had a wonderful morning together. The chemistry was off the charts despite not having penetrative anal sex at all.
Breakfast was pleasant and the conversation flowed like water. I didn't want him to leave. SeattleCasanova is one of three brothers, part of a very close Northwestern family, an accountant for a medical company, and quirky enough to hold my interest (I think he washed his hand a minimal of 37 times in the 16 or so hours we were together. SeattleCasanova is looking for a boyfriend. I am looking for something and last night we both filled that need.
After breakfast we went to Pike Place Market and got coffee and I got to experience the whole fish throwing and gum wall with a partner. It was really nice. I enjoyed his company and it was just a great morning. I didn't want it to end and so I asked if he would show me one of his hiking trails. We went to Discovery Park and because I can't help myself I made my Brawny man tale come true and then I drove SeattleCasanova home.
We traded phone numbers and social networking platforms and I hope that we stay in touch. Who knows if we will.....we have been talking, but this seems oddly reminiscent of the IndyWitch. Why is it that I allow myself to fall so hard and so fast for people who it will never work with? Is that why I allow myself to go there because I know that it is impossible to grow any semblance of a relationship across the country?
Who knows......I guess it's time I get on this plane and leave Seattle and all it's Casanovas for now.
Tchau!!
Showing posts with label Boston. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Boston. Show all posts
Sunday, July 29, 2018
Thursday, February 16, 2017
Mounting Insecurities
Shortly after restarting this blog I met someone online. He is everything I have always thought I wanted. Tall, handsome, friendly, ambitious, a total Hufflepuff, sexual chemistry, a GRE level vocabulary...he is essentially the hot gay nerd. I struck gold. We have been on three amazing dates, he has slept over twice, he met my roommate. I have gushed about him to my friends and coworkers. But for some reason this week I got this sinking pit in my stomach that I shouldn't get too attached. I hadn't thought once about jumping ship and then this week it hit me that I was nervous about what was going to happen next. There is some part of me that is petrified that what happened with Othello is going to happen here. I have been protecting him from the blog, because usually by the time I write a post about people that means they are not long for my dating world. I realized tonight that was ridiculous. Tonight is the first night that I have sent him a text message and he hasn't responded. I know that's stupid, and I know I'm being ridiculous and that this might mean nothing, but in my experience this is the beginning of the end.
By the third date the charm of dating someone who works as much as I do for my patients who have nothing has worn off and you want someone who can devote more time to you. By the end of the third date, you're sick of my swearing sailor mouth and want someone who can just chill and be cool. By the end of the third date you realize my life is really a fucking shit show and I am rarely in charge of what I am doing from one second to the next. By the end of the third date you realize that my room is always messy and I really don't care much about my appearance. By the end of the third date you realize my taste in everything from clothing to music isn't eclectic its just fucking weird and you are over it. By the end of the third date you realize I really am not that nice of a person and that the reason I have my jobs is to give me some chance of not going directly to hell. By the end of the third date you realize that I am more trouble than I'm worth and it would be way easier to get some Grindr slut to suck you off. By the end of the third date you realize that until you have a conversation with me about where we are in terms of dating I will assume that the buck stops there. By the end of the third date if I am still interested I have already become the clingy, annoying, and desperate boy that no one really wants to date.
So here I sit....several days after the end of the third date....and all I face are mounting insecurities about things that I have said, actions I have taken, and text messages I have and have not sent since we started dating.......waiting patiently to hear the chime from my phone indicating a text rather than the depressing trill of some horny Grindr queen.
By the third date the charm of dating someone who works as much as I do for my patients who have nothing has worn off and you want someone who can devote more time to you. By the end of the third date, you're sick of my swearing sailor mouth and want someone who can just chill and be cool. By the end of the third date you realize my life is really a fucking shit show and I am rarely in charge of what I am doing from one second to the next. By the end of the third date you realize that my room is always messy and I really don't care much about my appearance. By the end of the third date you realize my taste in everything from clothing to music isn't eclectic its just fucking weird and you are over it. By the end of the third date you realize I really am not that nice of a person and that the reason I have my jobs is to give me some chance of not going directly to hell. By the end of the third date you realize that I am more trouble than I'm worth and it would be way easier to get some Grindr slut to suck you off. By the end of the third date you realize that until you have a conversation with me about where we are in terms of dating I will assume that the buck stops there. By the end of the third date if I am still interested I have already become the clingy, annoying, and desperate boy that no one really wants to date.
So here I sit....several days after the end of the third date....and all I face are mounting insecurities about things that I have said, actions I have taken, and text messages I have and have not sent since we started dating.......waiting patiently to hear the chime from my phone indicating a text rather than the depressing trill of some horny Grindr queen.
Tuesday, January 3, 2017
I'm Back
So my life got a little crazy for a bit and I stopped blogging. If truth be told, my computer died and it has literally taken me two years to buy a new one. I am a sick combination of cheap and lazy when it comes to myself and some of my personal choices in life.....which is probably why it is more than two years later and I am about to turn 27 tomorrow and I am still as single as when I first started this blog, oh so many years ago.
Prior to starting this blog I had worked for many years at honing my commitment phobe skills. I practiced diligently at being able to dodge almost every sign that a relationship would become serious. Recently a rather formative relationship came back to really confuse the hell out of me if truth be told.
One of the first guys that I dated while I was in college I actually met at a club that was 18+ with one of my friends. We dated for several months and I really liked him and he seemed to really like me. I am going to call him Diego for the purposes of this blog. Well Diego and I were going along swimmingly and then there was an incident. We were out walking his dog and these two little girls came over to pet it and their Mom yelled at them to "Leave they're dog alone"
In that moment something inside me woke up and just started screaming. I felt awful about it and that was when I think I first realized that I was a commitment phobe. I mean who gets upset that a stranger thought that two gay guys walking a dog would be a couple who owned the dog....I'm insane, or so I thought.
The other day at work I was going about my day as usual and went into the waiting room and called, "Paul" and who stood up but Diego. This has to be at least 6 years later, but I was sure that it was him. So sure in fact that I said, "Diego, sorry I called Paul." and in that moment he said, "yea its me" and followed me to have his vital signs taken. While I was taking his vital signs I tried to ask him if he remembered who I was and he simply looked at me and smiled the same stupid smile he had given me a million times before and said, "A lot of people think they know me, maybe we've met before" and with that kind of a response I simply put him in his room and notified his doctor of his arrival.
Then the freak out began. I just couldn't believe that there was Diego in my clinic. That there was Diego in my clinic and that he was seeing one of the more established HIV doctors. Then I had to enter the vitals in his chart and I saw that he has been HIV positive and tenuously in care since 2008.
Its sobering....
For years I thought that there was something wrong with me in that relationship and the truth was, I had been lied to for months. There wasn't anything true about the relationship at all, even the name I use to call him was different than the name in the hospital computer.
The other layer that I had to unpack is just how close I had come to being infected with HIV. I have since been tested many times and recently tested negative again (I went 1-2 days after Diego came to the clinic, I know that is crazy, but I needed to do it). I am on PrEP now which is a change since the last time I was writing on here. I have still never had sex without a condom something that I am forever more and more grateful for now.
I talk all the time in my lectures and in my job about how really anyone could become infected, but I think that deep down in some recesses of my brain I thought, 'Yea but probably not me' and this one person totally destroyed that thought in my brain.
The only good thing that came of Diego coming in to clinic to see his MD for the first time in over 1.5 years, I realize now that maybe I'm not a commitment phobe at all...maybe it isn't my own undoing. I think viscerally I knew that Diego had been lying to me. I think that some part of me always knew that there was something very wrong with our relationship, and in hindsight my gut was right. Truthfully, the whole thing was rather comforting to know that I wasn't wrong about him. In my mind if I was right about this, then I will most certainly be right about when I have found the perfect match.
So here's to hoping that 2017 shapes up to be an amazing year and that I don't join the 27 club...
Until next time...
Chau!
Prior to starting this blog I had worked for many years at honing my commitment phobe skills. I practiced diligently at being able to dodge almost every sign that a relationship would become serious. Recently a rather formative relationship came back to really confuse the hell out of me if truth be told.
One of the first guys that I dated while I was in college I actually met at a club that was 18+ with one of my friends. We dated for several months and I really liked him and he seemed to really like me. I am going to call him Diego for the purposes of this blog. Well Diego and I were going along swimmingly and then there was an incident. We were out walking his dog and these two little girls came over to pet it and their Mom yelled at them to "Leave they're dog alone"
In that moment something inside me woke up and just started screaming. I felt awful about it and that was when I think I first realized that I was a commitment phobe. I mean who gets upset that a stranger thought that two gay guys walking a dog would be a couple who owned the dog....I'm insane, or so I thought.
The other day at work I was going about my day as usual and went into the waiting room and called, "Paul" and who stood up but Diego. This has to be at least 6 years later, but I was sure that it was him. So sure in fact that I said, "Diego, sorry I called Paul." and in that moment he said, "yea its me" and followed me to have his vital signs taken. While I was taking his vital signs I tried to ask him if he remembered who I was and he simply looked at me and smiled the same stupid smile he had given me a million times before and said, "A lot of people think they know me, maybe we've met before" and with that kind of a response I simply put him in his room and notified his doctor of his arrival.
Then the freak out began. I just couldn't believe that there was Diego in my clinic. That there was Diego in my clinic and that he was seeing one of the more established HIV doctors. Then I had to enter the vitals in his chart and I saw that he has been HIV positive and tenuously in care since 2008.
Its sobering....
For years I thought that there was something wrong with me in that relationship and the truth was, I had been lied to for months. There wasn't anything true about the relationship at all, even the name I use to call him was different than the name in the hospital computer.
The other layer that I had to unpack is just how close I had come to being infected with HIV. I have since been tested many times and recently tested negative again (I went 1-2 days after Diego came to the clinic, I know that is crazy, but I needed to do it). I am on PrEP now which is a change since the last time I was writing on here. I have still never had sex without a condom something that I am forever more and more grateful for now.
I talk all the time in my lectures and in my job about how really anyone could become infected, but I think that deep down in some recesses of my brain I thought, 'Yea but probably not me' and this one person totally destroyed that thought in my brain.
The only good thing that came of Diego coming in to clinic to see his MD for the first time in over 1.5 years, I realize now that maybe I'm not a commitment phobe at all...maybe it isn't my own undoing. I think viscerally I knew that Diego had been lying to me. I think that some part of me always knew that there was something very wrong with our relationship, and in hindsight my gut was right. Truthfully, the whole thing was rather comforting to know that I wasn't wrong about him. In my mind if I was right about this, then I will most certainly be right about when I have found the perfect match.
So here's to hoping that 2017 shapes up to be an amazing year and that I don't join the 27 club...
Until next time...
Chau!
Sunday, August 17, 2014
Let's Stick with Shakespeare....
As promised here is another update really soon after the first one. I have finally settled on a name for the latest guy, which of course means things are coming to a close, but I have been on a Shakespeare kick lately so let's stick with that shall we...We'll call him Othello.
So Othello is a rather short, black/brown guy, super nice, wicked hot, went to an Ivy League school and is now teaching inner city 6th graders at a charter school. Sounds perfect for me right? Ay, here's the rub....he was a patient of mine a while back....and he had an STD....and then he has been a patient of my clinics at few more times throughout his slut phase....so when he asked me out a little before the 4th of July I was hesitant but excited.
He's the guy that ran into me while I was working on the streets of PTown after my run in with the psychic and I really think I was going to project whatever that psychic had told me on the first guy who looked my way so naturally it was him. We went on a first date when we both got back to Boston; easy, iced coffee and a walk through Boston Common. He was just as nice and genuine as he seemed to be the first few times I saw him. It was at this point I learned that his favorite musical was Aida (anyone who can recall this knows the love of my life will be Radames) and his favorite piece of literature was Othello. That should have tipped me off right there as to how this would end but of course I'm an idiot.
After walking for a while we made our way down to the Coast Guard station in the North End and made out watching the boats roll by....it was super cute and nice. I told him that I liked him so I wanted to take things slow and he thought that was a good idea.
Our second date ended up being sort of odd....I wanted to go out to dinner, but he insisted that he make me dinner at his house. I don't know about any of you but this seemed to be moving super fast to me. Dinner at someone's house usually implies dessert in their bedroom...which believe me I wanted...I was just confused because I thought he was into going slow.
A quick funny aside just to explain to everyone exactly how awkward and ridiculous my dating life can be. I showed up at his apartment and ended up waiting outside for about 10 minutes before he came to the door with someone who was also waiting to go into the apartment next door clearly for a Grindr hook-up (Ah the joys of the South End). Then when I was walking downstairs into the kitchen with my bottle of wine in hand I fucking slipped. Like ass hit every stair on the way down kind of slipped until I was able to recover at the bottom (Fucking slippery Tom's Canvas shoes)....way to make an entrance right? I digress....
Dinner was wonderful...he's a great cook. I sneaked through his Itunes library to find songs he himself was the artist on and a really eclectic library of music. We finished off a bottle of wine and the conversation never really lagged at all. After dinner we ended up kissing and then he wanted to show me his room. Another sure fire sign to me that slow was not on the menu. Needless to say we ended up starting to fool around. I sucked his dick, he sucked mine, and then I sensed between him enjoying my blowjob that there was an issue. So I stopped and he said, "I thought you wanted to take it slow." At this point I agreed that I did and I sat up dick still hard and put my clothes on and apologized.
I don't want to say that it was never my intention to hook up with him because he is fucking gorgeous and that is definitely part of the attraction, but I also know that I am totally able to control myself in these situations and I was getting the sense that perhaps he does not. So I left with a good bye kiss.
That Friday, after texting off and on all week, while he was drunk I got a series of text messages telling me that he was made at me because essentially he felt that I had lied. I defended myself again with my typical, I want to take it slow, but I also don't want to deprive myself if I like someone. We decided that we would have another date on Sunday.
So Sunday came and he pushed off the time of our date due to his hangover from the night before and we ended up going to SOWA. For those not from gay Boston....SOWA is this giant flea market/summer festival/food truck thing that happens in the South End during the summer on Sundays. Its a lot of fun and the two of us really had a good time. He tried on ridiculous shorts, we both ran into people we knew, and we had something quick to drink.
At one point he turned to me and said, "I'm not trying to be rude...I know you're handsome and stuff, but literally everyone is staring at you." Quite frankly I hadn't noticed this at all....I guess I don't realize when gay men look at me anymore because it happens so frequently in Boston. I explained to him that it really had nothing to do with my looks, but rather everyone trying to figure out where they know me from. Its sort of a phenomenon. I will have gay guys on the train or out come up to me trying to figure out where they know me from and nine times out of ten it is from my job as the STD nurse. I have either tested them, treated their partner, or messaged them on one of the myriad gay sex apps to come in for testing. Unfortunately, because some of my patients come in under the influence they have a hard time remembering me in the scrubs. It is what it is I suppose. I explained that to him and he seemed to understand.
The other major occurrence during the SOWA date was as we were walking back to his place. A guy from behind called out his name...It was a typical gay-queen-possessive-he's-mine-and-who-is-this-bitch kind of call out. I didn't even flinch really. I've been in this situation so many times I don't even care. However Othello...FROZE...he looked so uncomfortable I couldn't believe it. The conversation between him and the stranger was almost forced...he did introduce me though. Then as we were walking away he quickly pulled out his phone and sent a text. I could tell he sent a text to his best friend. There was obviously something about this guy. So when we ended up sitting on a bench I point blank asked what the deal was...He lied...naturally..."Oh just the best rimjob I ever had" I told him I knew that wasn't true and that was why he texted his best friend....he relented but I gave him the out and said he didn't have to tell me. He seemed appreciative for the out and definitely took it.
He also seemed to understand the situation from our second date and was okay with it. We then planned a tentative day/time for a next date. Beehive is a nice restaurant in the South End with live music, essentially all the time while you eat. Its really a pretty nice/fun date place. We went here for our fourth date. Unfortunately I was working afterwards so I couldn't really have a drink at all but it was still a good time. However, it was midway through this date that I began to realize that perhaps I was falling harder than he was. Othello definitely bit off more than he could chew and rather than getting jealous was just starting to undermine his own involvement.
During the date I got a mini-freakout because I had made a guess about something in his life, which I was right about and he I think wanted to be more aloof about it from his reaction. Not really a big deal. Then at the end of the date I went in to kiss him before he went on his way and he totally shot me down. He insisted it wasn't me and that he wanted to take it slow and PDA freaked him out. Despite the fact that we had previously made out at the Coast Guard station on a first date. I could see the writing on the wall, but I liked him so rather than bail, which has always been my M.O. in the past I decided to try and stick it out.
After that he went on a trip to TX for a conference and was gone for a week. When I realized he was back from a FB post I decided to see if he was down to hang out. He said he was and we set up a tentative day and time. He ended up bailing, but wanted to reschedule. I should note that after he came back from TX the cute name for me changed from sexy or babe to buddy.....I'm not blind. He bailed on a second reschedule date and then one more time last night on a third reschedule.
So finally with my drunken fortitude I texted him and just asked point blank "Is this a coincidence that you keep bailing or are just not sure how to tell me that you're not into me." The honest drunken response came pretty quickly, "I'm just not into you like that. And the second date killed it, you weren't trying to take it slow." Of course....just when you think a problem is solved it never is. I tried to gracefully bow out. After all I still like him even if he doesn't like me. I can't help it. I think he's nice, attractive, and quirky but sometimes its just not there for both people. I'm honestly happy I know. My final text to him last night went something like this: "Its fine really better to just know....I suspected anyways. I hope you find what you're looking for....you deserve it." I thought it was fine. I thought I had ended it like a grown up.
Then this morning I woke up to a text message at 6 AM (probably post Saturday night hook up) that said, "Ugh...I think you're wonderful. I wanna hang out but I'm not ready to give you what you say you want."
I have NO idea what that means! I am more confused now then I have been in a long time. I don't want to continue to get strung along just so he doesn't have to feel bad about turning away someone he thinks has boyfriend potential. I don't know how or if I should respond to this message...this is definitely going to need some hag advice....but ultimately its like Bonnie Raitt says:
Until Next Time...
Chau!!
So Othello is a rather short, black/brown guy, super nice, wicked hot, went to an Ivy League school and is now teaching inner city 6th graders at a charter school. Sounds perfect for me right? Ay, here's the rub....he was a patient of mine a while back....and he had an STD....and then he has been a patient of my clinics at few more times throughout his slut phase....so when he asked me out a little before the 4th of July I was hesitant but excited.
He's the guy that ran into me while I was working on the streets of PTown after my run in with the psychic and I really think I was going to project whatever that psychic had told me on the first guy who looked my way so naturally it was him. We went on a first date when we both got back to Boston; easy, iced coffee and a walk through Boston Common. He was just as nice and genuine as he seemed to be the first few times I saw him. It was at this point I learned that his favorite musical was Aida (anyone who can recall this knows the love of my life will be Radames) and his favorite piece of literature was Othello. That should have tipped me off right there as to how this would end but of course I'm an idiot.
After walking for a while we made our way down to the Coast Guard station in the North End and made out watching the boats roll by....it was super cute and nice. I told him that I liked him so I wanted to take things slow and he thought that was a good idea.
Our second date ended up being sort of odd....I wanted to go out to dinner, but he insisted that he make me dinner at his house. I don't know about any of you but this seemed to be moving super fast to me. Dinner at someone's house usually implies dessert in their bedroom...which believe me I wanted...I was just confused because I thought he was into going slow.
A quick funny aside just to explain to everyone exactly how awkward and ridiculous my dating life can be. I showed up at his apartment and ended up waiting outside for about 10 minutes before he came to the door with someone who was also waiting to go into the apartment next door clearly for a Grindr hook-up (Ah the joys of the South End). Then when I was walking downstairs into the kitchen with my bottle of wine in hand I fucking slipped. Like ass hit every stair on the way down kind of slipped until I was able to recover at the bottom (Fucking slippery Tom's Canvas shoes)....way to make an entrance right? I digress....
Dinner was wonderful...he's a great cook. I sneaked through his Itunes library to find songs he himself was the artist on and a really eclectic library of music. We finished off a bottle of wine and the conversation never really lagged at all. After dinner we ended up kissing and then he wanted to show me his room. Another sure fire sign to me that slow was not on the menu. Needless to say we ended up starting to fool around. I sucked his dick, he sucked mine, and then I sensed between him enjoying my blowjob that there was an issue. So I stopped and he said, "I thought you wanted to take it slow." At this point I agreed that I did and I sat up dick still hard and put my clothes on and apologized.
I don't want to say that it was never my intention to hook up with him because he is fucking gorgeous and that is definitely part of the attraction, but I also know that I am totally able to control myself in these situations and I was getting the sense that perhaps he does not. So I left with a good bye kiss.
That Friday, after texting off and on all week, while he was drunk I got a series of text messages telling me that he was made at me because essentially he felt that I had lied. I defended myself again with my typical, I want to take it slow, but I also don't want to deprive myself if I like someone. We decided that we would have another date on Sunday.
So Sunday came and he pushed off the time of our date due to his hangover from the night before and we ended up going to SOWA. For those not from gay Boston....SOWA is this giant flea market/summer festival/food truck thing that happens in the South End during the summer on Sundays. Its a lot of fun and the two of us really had a good time. He tried on ridiculous shorts, we both ran into people we knew, and we had something quick to drink.
At one point he turned to me and said, "I'm not trying to be rude...I know you're handsome and stuff, but literally everyone is staring at you." Quite frankly I hadn't noticed this at all....I guess I don't realize when gay men look at me anymore because it happens so frequently in Boston. I explained to him that it really had nothing to do with my looks, but rather everyone trying to figure out where they know me from. Its sort of a phenomenon. I will have gay guys on the train or out come up to me trying to figure out where they know me from and nine times out of ten it is from my job as the STD nurse. I have either tested them, treated their partner, or messaged them on one of the myriad gay sex apps to come in for testing. Unfortunately, because some of my patients come in under the influence they have a hard time remembering me in the scrubs. It is what it is I suppose. I explained that to him and he seemed to understand.
The other major occurrence during the SOWA date was as we were walking back to his place. A guy from behind called out his name...It was a typical gay-queen-possessive-he's-mine-and-who-is-this-bitch kind of call out. I didn't even flinch really. I've been in this situation so many times I don't even care. However Othello...FROZE...he looked so uncomfortable I couldn't believe it. The conversation between him and the stranger was almost forced...he did introduce me though. Then as we were walking away he quickly pulled out his phone and sent a text. I could tell he sent a text to his best friend. There was obviously something about this guy. So when we ended up sitting on a bench I point blank asked what the deal was...He lied...naturally..."Oh just the best rimjob I ever had" I told him I knew that wasn't true and that was why he texted his best friend....he relented but I gave him the out and said he didn't have to tell me. He seemed appreciative for the out and definitely took it.
He also seemed to understand the situation from our second date and was okay with it. We then planned a tentative day/time for a next date. Beehive is a nice restaurant in the South End with live music, essentially all the time while you eat. Its really a pretty nice/fun date place. We went here for our fourth date. Unfortunately I was working afterwards so I couldn't really have a drink at all but it was still a good time. However, it was midway through this date that I began to realize that perhaps I was falling harder than he was. Othello definitely bit off more than he could chew and rather than getting jealous was just starting to undermine his own involvement.
During the date I got a mini-freakout because I had made a guess about something in his life, which I was right about and he I think wanted to be more aloof about it from his reaction. Not really a big deal. Then at the end of the date I went in to kiss him before he went on his way and he totally shot me down. He insisted it wasn't me and that he wanted to take it slow and PDA freaked him out. Despite the fact that we had previously made out at the Coast Guard station on a first date. I could see the writing on the wall, but I liked him so rather than bail, which has always been my M.O. in the past I decided to try and stick it out.
After that he went on a trip to TX for a conference and was gone for a week. When I realized he was back from a FB post I decided to see if he was down to hang out. He said he was and we set up a tentative day and time. He ended up bailing, but wanted to reschedule. I should note that after he came back from TX the cute name for me changed from sexy or babe to buddy.....I'm not blind. He bailed on a second reschedule date and then one more time last night on a third reschedule.
So finally with my drunken fortitude I texted him and just asked point blank "Is this a coincidence that you keep bailing or are just not sure how to tell me that you're not into me." The honest drunken response came pretty quickly, "I'm just not into you like that. And the second date killed it, you weren't trying to take it slow." Of course....just when you think a problem is solved it never is. I tried to gracefully bow out. After all I still like him even if he doesn't like me. I can't help it. I think he's nice, attractive, and quirky but sometimes its just not there for both people. I'm honestly happy I know. My final text to him last night went something like this: "Its fine really better to just know....I suspected anyways. I hope you find what you're looking for....you deserve it." I thought it was fine. I thought I had ended it like a grown up.
Then this morning I woke up to a text message at 6 AM (probably post Saturday night hook up) that said, "Ugh...I think you're wonderful. I wanna hang out but I'm not ready to give you what you say you want."
I have NO idea what that means! I am more confused now then I have been in a long time. I don't want to continue to get strung along just so he doesn't have to feel bad about turning away someone he thinks has boyfriend potential. I don't know how or if I should respond to this message...this is definitely going to need some hag advice....but ultimately its like Bonnie Raitt says:
Until Next Time...
Chau!!
Sunday, February 9, 2014
Meeting the Roommates
So I am back from FaceBiter's place and I am happy to report that it went really well. I got there a little after 7:30p as promised with a bottle of wine. We started cooking right away, well he started cooking and I chopped up some onions. While he was cooking I was just watching him in his element enjoying a glass of wine and talking it. It was pretty nice. Then throughout the time that we were making dinner, not I am using the word we very loosely here, his roommates trickled in one by one.
He lives with three different guys. One is a really nice but quiet Canadian. He has a girlfriend, but she lives in Canada....and I also think that maybe that song from the musical Avenue Q applies here so I am putting the video below for you all to enjoy:
In addition to the Canadian roommate he also has a Jewish roommate from Michigan who is pretty awkward and hipster like. He is probably the most MITesque of everyone in the apartment....He was wearing a snap button down with Unicorns patched onto the shoulders. And then there is a another roommate who actually shares my name but is from TX and has actually worked in the oil industry as well. His roommates are all really nice and seem to be just genuinely good people. In addition to his roommates I also got to meet his best girlfriend who is a fairly quiet Ginger.
Dinner was wonderful...a seafood and chicken risotto and a spinach salad. Everyone ate around the kitchen table family style and it was nice to get a feel for what he was like with his friends. I was doing my best to get along with everyone.
At some point I was made to sign an American flag that is hanging in their living room. It is apparently a tradition for anyone who comes into their house to sign the flag and then indicate where in the US/world they are from originally. I was actually glad to see that FaceBiter got along so well with his roommates. I definitely felt like a couple times my interaction with the FaceBiter was one of the first times they had ever seen two gay guys interact.
We ended up watching Team America (I know what a stupid movie) after dinner just for something to do. FaceBiter put his arm around me during the movie and one of his roommates made a comment (bro-shit) and he left his arm there and just sort of chuckled. When the movie was over all of his friends sort of filed out of the room and he turned and started making out with me. I kept kissing him for a little while and then realize I had to be getting home and I gave him a final peck good night and headed out.
Overall I think meeting his friends went over pretty well. I suppose only time will tell but I think that this may be a better match than I had at first anticipated. Hanging out together among his friends definitely seems to work. Going out to dinner also seems to work. The sex stuff needs to be worked out, but I'm sure with time that will come. The only other things to test out are how he does with my friends which is always a bit more difficult and how he does out together to some place besides dinner.
Well that's my update for now....
Until Next Time!
Chau!!
He lives with three different guys. One is a really nice but quiet Canadian. He has a girlfriend, but she lives in Canada....and I also think that maybe that song from the musical Avenue Q applies here so I am putting the video below for you all to enjoy:
In addition to the Canadian roommate he also has a Jewish roommate from Michigan who is pretty awkward and hipster like. He is probably the most MITesque of everyone in the apartment....He was wearing a snap button down with Unicorns patched onto the shoulders. And then there is a another roommate who actually shares my name but is from TX and has actually worked in the oil industry as well. His roommates are all really nice and seem to be just genuinely good people. In addition to his roommates I also got to meet his best girlfriend who is a fairly quiet Ginger.
Dinner was wonderful...a seafood and chicken risotto and a spinach salad. Everyone ate around the kitchen table family style and it was nice to get a feel for what he was like with his friends. I was doing my best to get along with everyone.
At some point I was made to sign an American flag that is hanging in their living room. It is apparently a tradition for anyone who comes into their house to sign the flag and then indicate where in the US/world they are from originally. I was actually glad to see that FaceBiter got along so well with his roommates. I definitely felt like a couple times my interaction with the FaceBiter was one of the first times they had ever seen two gay guys interact.
We ended up watching Team America (I know what a stupid movie) after dinner just for something to do. FaceBiter put his arm around me during the movie and one of his roommates made a comment (bro-shit) and he left his arm there and just sort of chuckled. When the movie was over all of his friends sort of filed out of the room and he turned and started making out with me. I kept kissing him for a little while and then realize I had to be getting home and I gave him a final peck good night and headed out.
Overall I think meeting his friends went over pretty well. I suppose only time will tell but I think that this may be a better match than I had at first anticipated. Hanging out together among his friends definitely seems to work. Going out to dinner also seems to work. The sex stuff needs to be worked out, but I'm sure with time that will come. The only other things to test out are how he does with my friends which is always a bit more difficult and how he does out together to some place besides dinner.
Well that's my update for now....
Until Next Time!
Chau!!
From Face Biting to Toe Sucking
I've been SUPER busy at work lately. Between both jobs I have not really had any time to do anything on my own including some of those things that guys find so basic to everyday life. Luckily I usually can find time on the weekends to relax and deal with the things I have been putting off all week.
I got a text message from Hickey this week apologizing for pushing me away. The funny thing about this is I was unaware that it was even happening. In retrospect I guess I hadn't heard from him in a while, but I honestly didn't even realize it because I had been so busy. Ultimately, I made plans with Hickey to meet up on Saturday and just fool around in our usual fashion. He actually made a request that I save up for him, if you catch my drift, and I of course complied. I'm all about trying to appease the person I'm with and I'm not above giving up some of the normal occurrences of life if it means I am going to get some and the person I fool around with will be happier for it.
Unfortunately, I had to work Friday night so I figured Saturday might be a little rough, but it was the only day I still had available. I would also just like to say working outside of a gay club doing testing when I was planning on having sex the next day was just not really fun. All of the patients who were flirting with me definitely found me flirting back, which probably wasn't professional, but it definitely helped in securing more patients.
I digress....Saturday morning came around and I contacted Hickey about getting together and did not hear back. After five days of waiting this was definitely not a good situation for me. I tried him on Facebook and eventually got an answer. He was busy with some sort of family emergency and would not be able to see me. Fucking Awesome! I was dying I was so so SO SO horny. The kicker is I figured out after the fact that there really was no family emergency Hickey was getting a tattoo...
I suppose it's really my own fault. I know that Hickey has feelings for me beyond just being a fuck buddy. I have tried to be very honest with him that I can not reciprocate those feelings, but I have been definitely taking advantage of the fact that he has those feelings for me. I think he is getting to the point where it really is not a health thing for him anymore and I suppose I should really respect that. He likes the idea of being able to be a fuck buddy with me but the feelings he has for me are quickly going to go from fondness to bitterness if I'm not careful.
Around 1:00p I realized that there was really no point in me wasting 5 days of pent up frustration on my right hand so I texted the FaceBiter. I know...Probably not the best move. We had a date/Still do have a date planned for tonight. He is making dinner and we are going to watch a movie. But I figured maybe he wouldn't mind fooling around a little bit on a Saturday afternoon.
He responded almost instantly and told me that he would have his whole place to himself around 3 if I could come by then. I obliged and waited. It took me probably 20 minutes to find a parking spot by his place in Inman Square but eventually I did. He showed me around his apartment, which is nice, but very I'm a grad student with limited resources. There are four guys that I think live there and the apartment definitely had a bro-atmosphere to it. I now understand why people see my apartment and think it is so grown up. Everything is clean, and tidy, and we have home accessories. The perks of a gay guy, three girls, and an ICU nurse in one apartment I suppose.
After a quick tour of the house we ended up in his room making out. He is still a FaceBiter and actually made a point to ask me to not shave before tomorrow and let my facial hair grow a little bit more. This is funny to me for a few reasons. One is that I am incredibly lazy when it comes to my facial hair and I really do find shaving to be a big pain in the ass. Two is that my family, my mother and father, both hate me with any sort of facial hair. Three is that I don't really think my facial hair grows evenly. I am not one of the lucky guys that looks good with a bit of scruff. I look like I am a homeless Latino vagrant not a sexy plaid-wearing lumberjack.
*********************************NSFW*******************************
The making out quickly turned into fooling around. Before I knew it we were both taking off our clothes. I started by blowing him and he was even more appreciative this time then he was the first time. I just kept getting compliments from him and I had to stop pretty quickly to make sure that I didn't ruin all the fun too early. He tried to go in to return the favor, but I just kept remembering the teeth and pretty creatively was able to avoid that situation.
After about 15-20 minutes of fooling around he finally decided it was time to fuck. He pulled a condom out of his drawer and warned me that I was the biggest guy he had ever been with sexually. I was floored. My dick is not big, by any means so the whole situation was a bit of a shocker to me. I knowingly nodded and let him know that I would be gentle and do my best not to hurt him. Eventually after several minutes of trying I finally was able to get in, but after maybe 5 minutes of actual fucking he just couldn't take it anymore. I pulled out and insisted that it was absolutely fine. We didn't have to fuck.
However, I did try and get him to switch it up and fuck me. To be honest his dick is pretty small and I wasn't particularly worried about being able to take it. He threw on a condom lubed up, but just couldn't really get inside me. It was odd. It wasn't that I was in pain it was almost as if he my ass was too fat and his dick was too small. I've never encountered this problem before actually. But in almost every angle my ass appeared to keep his dick from inserting more than just the head inside me. Eventually he gave up. I think the combination of him not being a top and not really being able to figure out the right angle to get his dick inside me properly was pretty discouraging for him. I again insisted that it was good and that we could do something else in place of actually fucking.
It was at this point that he really wanted to just lick me. I really didn't give this much thought as licking tends to be an essential part of hooking up in the gay world. In fact licking from my neck down my torso to my genitals all tended to be pretty standard gay fare until he kept licking. All of a sudden he was licking down my thighs well past my point of my crotch. He then started to lick right over my knees.
Fun fact I have highly sensitive knees. I always have. If you're trying to get me particularly turned on there is little you can do more than stroking my knees to give me an instant hard on.
As he continued to lick past my knees and hold my calf he slowly slid off the sock on my right foot. Then before I knew it he was licking my foot. Then my toes were in his mouth and he was jerking off like there was no tomorrow. While he was sucking my toes was actually the hardest I had ever seen his cock. It seemed that my toes and feet were his secret trick to getting really turned on.
I don't particularly get anything out of someone licking my feet or toes. It's not a turn on and it's not really a turn off either. It's a neutral for me. But I do find it funny that I keep finding these guys with odd sexual fetishes. I'm not sure if I just attract freaks or if I drag the freak out of everyone that I meet. It's like the eternal struggle of what came first the chicken or the egg.
After he sucked on my toes he came back up to my mouth and asked me if I would let him suck my dick now. There was no more avoiding it so I laid back and prepared myself. Then I was pleasantly surprised. he is actually quite a decent dick sucker. He even gagged himself a little bit on my cock, which is almost always hot and appreciated. Apparently when he is sober the gay genes kick in and he inherently remembers how to appropriately suck dick and live up to his stereotype. I enjoyed the dick sucking for a few minutes and that felt I had to warn him about what was to come.
Normally I have a decent load and I suspected that after 5 days of pent up frustration and being pretty well hydrated that he should at least be warned. I mean you don't want to be convicted of manslaughter by drowning during fellatio, right? He of course ignored my warning and we went back to fooling around. I finished him off pretty quickly by blowing him and then he wanted to make me cum. So we continued fooling around and then all of a sudden I came. It shot well above my head a few times and hit my shoulder until he threw his face in front of my spasming dick and took shot after shot on his cheek. When he finally thought it was over he took his face away and I shot twice more onto my stomach. He looked at me in shock and awe. I immediately apologized as I had gotten his comforter covered in cum and he had quite a bit dripping from his face. He laughed and said, "Well you warned me I just wasn't expecting that"
We hopped in the shower and cleaned off and then went back to his room where we began dressing.
********************************SFW**********************************
I almost always find that I have the best conversations with people directly after we have both cum. I think its something about the sexual tension being lifted out of the room that just makes the whole thing a little bit easier.
We talked for another 10 minutes about politics and life before I finally made a point to say I had to go. I think its important that I didn't stay longer than I planned. Since we are also seeing each other tonight I didn't want to make him think that things were moving too fast and then as I was putting on my shoes I realized that probably was not going to be a problem.
FaceBiter asked me if I would want to go to NY to go skiing with him next weekend. Yes the guy who I had been on, let's say, 1.5 dates with wanted to take me away for the weekend. I was flattered, but immediately wanted to run out of his house. It just seemed like such a commitment especially since I had really just met him. Suppose I found out that he was super weird in some way while we were away together and then I was stuck in a different state with no real means of getting home. My mama might have raised some babies with questionable values, but I'll be damned if she raised an idiot. I quickly pointed out that I thought a joint trip was probably not a great idea this early on and he seemed to agree.
Then I went home and contemplated what exactly I was getting myself into with this guy. I mean he is cute, around my age, and clearly very smart, but he is moving at a very fast pace for someone like me. Tonight I am going over to his place so he can make me dinner and we can watch a movie. I assume all of his roommates will be there as it is a Sunday night and I can't imagine that they have anywhere else to be being MIT grad students and all. So I guess we shall see how tonight goes. I will be sure to report back and maybe I will have a better sense of how long this will continue on for after dinner. I suppose I can always use my trip to the Dominican Republic as a way to get rid of him in the worst case scenario.
I'll write later tonight!
Chau!!
I got a text message from Hickey this week apologizing for pushing me away. The funny thing about this is I was unaware that it was even happening. In retrospect I guess I hadn't heard from him in a while, but I honestly didn't even realize it because I had been so busy. Ultimately, I made plans with Hickey to meet up on Saturday and just fool around in our usual fashion. He actually made a request that I save up for him, if you catch my drift, and I of course complied. I'm all about trying to appease the person I'm with and I'm not above giving up some of the normal occurrences of life if it means I am going to get some and the person I fool around with will be happier for it.
Unfortunately, I had to work Friday night so I figured Saturday might be a little rough, but it was the only day I still had available. I would also just like to say working outside of a gay club doing testing when I was planning on having sex the next day was just not really fun. All of the patients who were flirting with me definitely found me flirting back, which probably wasn't professional, but it definitely helped in securing more patients.
I digress....Saturday morning came around and I contacted Hickey about getting together and did not hear back. After five days of waiting this was definitely not a good situation for me. I tried him on Facebook and eventually got an answer. He was busy with some sort of family emergency and would not be able to see me. Fucking Awesome! I was dying I was so so SO SO horny. The kicker is I figured out after the fact that there really was no family emergency Hickey was getting a tattoo...
I suppose it's really my own fault. I know that Hickey has feelings for me beyond just being a fuck buddy. I have tried to be very honest with him that I can not reciprocate those feelings, but I have been definitely taking advantage of the fact that he has those feelings for me. I think he is getting to the point where it really is not a health thing for him anymore and I suppose I should really respect that. He likes the idea of being able to be a fuck buddy with me but the feelings he has for me are quickly going to go from fondness to bitterness if I'm not careful.
Around 1:00p I realized that there was really no point in me wasting 5 days of pent up frustration on my right hand so I texted the FaceBiter. I know...Probably not the best move. We had a date/Still do have a date planned for tonight. He is making dinner and we are going to watch a movie. But I figured maybe he wouldn't mind fooling around a little bit on a Saturday afternoon.
He responded almost instantly and told me that he would have his whole place to himself around 3 if I could come by then. I obliged and waited. It took me probably 20 minutes to find a parking spot by his place in Inman Square but eventually I did. He showed me around his apartment, which is nice, but very I'm a grad student with limited resources. There are four guys that I think live there and the apartment definitely had a bro-atmosphere to it. I now understand why people see my apartment and think it is so grown up. Everything is clean, and tidy, and we have home accessories. The perks of a gay guy, three girls, and an ICU nurse in one apartment I suppose.
After a quick tour of the house we ended up in his room making out. He is still a FaceBiter and actually made a point to ask me to not shave before tomorrow and let my facial hair grow a little bit more. This is funny to me for a few reasons. One is that I am incredibly lazy when it comes to my facial hair and I really do find shaving to be a big pain in the ass. Two is that my family, my mother and father, both hate me with any sort of facial hair. Three is that I don't really think my facial hair grows evenly. I am not one of the lucky guys that looks good with a bit of scruff. I look like I am a homeless Latino vagrant not a sexy plaid-wearing lumberjack.
*********************************NSFW*******************************
The making out quickly turned into fooling around. Before I knew it we were both taking off our clothes. I started by blowing him and he was even more appreciative this time then he was the first time. I just kept getting compliments from him and I had to stop pretty quickly to make sure that I didn't ruin all the fun too early. He tried to go in to return the favor, but I just kept remembering the teeth and pretty creatively was able to avoid that situation.
After about 15-20 minutes of fooling around he finally decided it was time to fuck. He pulled a condom out of his drawer and warned me that I was the biggest guy he had ever been with sexually. I was floored. My dick is not big, by any means so the whole situation was a bit of a shocker to me. I knowingly nodded and let him know that I would be gentle and do my best not to hurt him. Eventually after several minutes of trying I finally was able to get in, but after maybe 5 minutes of actual fucking he just couldn't take it anymore. I pulled out and insisted that it was absolutely fine. We didn't have to fuck.
However, I did try and get him to switch it up and fuck me. To be honest his dick is pretty small and I wasn't particularly worried about being able to take it. He threw on a condom lubed up, but just couldn't really get inside me. It was odd. It wasn't that I was in pain it was almost as if he my ass was too fat and his dick was too small. I've never encountered this problem before actually. But in almost every angle my ass appeared to keep his dick from inserting more than just the head inside me. Eventually he gave up. I think the combination of him not being a top and not really being able to figure out the right angle to get his dick inside me properly was pretty discouraging for him. I again insisted that it was good and that we could do something else in place of actually fucking.
It was at this point that he really wanted to just lick me. I really didn't give this much thought as licking tends to be an essential part of hooking up in the gay world. In fact licking from my neck down my torso to my genitals all tended to be pretty standard gay fare until he kept licking. All of a sudden he was licking down my thighs well past my point of my crotch. He then started to lick right over my knees.
Fun fact I have highly sensitive knees. I always have. If you're trying to get me particularly turned on there is little you can do more than stroking my knees to give me an instant hard on.
As he continued to lick past my knees and hold my calf he slowly slid off the sock on my right foot. Then before I knew it he was licking my foot. Then my toes were in his mouth and he was jerking off like there was no tomorrow. While he was sucking my toes was actually the hardest I had ever seen his cock. It seemed that my toes and feet were his secret trick to getting really turned on.
I don't particularly get anything out of someone licking my feet or toes. It's not a turn on and it's not really a turn off either. It's a neutral for me. But I do find it funny that I keep finding these guys with odd sexual fetishes. I'm not sure if I just attract freaks or if I drag the freak out of everyone that I meet. It's like the eternal struggle of what came first the chicken or the egg.
After he sucked on my toes he came back up to my mouth and asked me if I would let him suck my dick now. There was no more avoiding it so I laid back and prepared myself. Then I was pleasantly surprised. he is actually quite a decent dick sucker. He even gagged himself a little bit on my cock, which is almost always hot and appreciated. Apparently when he is sober the gay genes kick in and he inherently remembers how to appropriately suck dick and live up to his stereotype. I enjoyed the dick sucking for a few minutes and that felt I had to warn him about what was to come.
Normally I have a decent load and I suspected that after 5 days of pent up frustration and being pretty well hydrated that he should at least be warned. I mean you don't want to be convicted of manslaughter by drowning during fellatio, right? He of course ignored my warning and we went back to fooling around. I finished him off pretty quickly by blowing him and then he wanted to make me cum. So we continued fooling around and then all of a sudden I came. It shot well above my head a few times and hit my shoulder until he threw his face in front of my spasming dick and took shot after shot on his cheek. When he finally thought it was over he took his face away and I shot twice more onto my stomach. He looked at me in shock and awe. I immediately apologized as I had gotten his comforter covered in cum and he had quite a bit dripping from his face. He laughed and said, "Well you warned me I just wasn't expecting that"
We hopped in the shower and cleaned off and then went back to his room where we began dressing.
********************************SFW**********************************
I almost always find that I have the best conversations with people directly after we have both cum. I think its something about the sexual tension being lifted out of the room that just makes the whole thing a little bit easier.
We talked for another 10 minutes about politics and life before I finally made a point to say I had to go. I think its important that I didn't stay longer than I planned. Since we are also seeing each other tonight I didn't want to make him think that things were moving too fast and then as I was putting on my shoes I realized that probably was not going to be a problem.
FaceBiter asked me if I would want to go to NY to go skiing with him next weekend. Yes the guy who I had been on, let's say, 1.5 dates with wanted to take me away for the weekend. I was flattered, but immediately wanted to run out of his house. It just seemed like such a commitment especially since I had really just met him. Suppose I found out that he was super weird in some way while we were away together and then I was stuck in a different state with no real means of getting home. My mama might have raised some babies with questionable values, but I'll be damned if she raised an idiot. I quickly pointed out that I thought a joint trip was probably not a great idea this early on and he seemed to agree.
Then I went home and contemplated what exactly I was getting myself into with this guy. I mean he is cute, around my age, and clearly very smart, but he is moving at a very fast pace for someone like me. Tonight I am going over to his place so he can make me dinner and we can watch a movie. I assume all of his roommates will be there as it is a Sunday night and I can't imagine that they have anywhere else to be being MIT grad students and all. So I guess we shall see how tonight goes. I will be sure to report back and maybe I will have a better sense of how long this will continue on for after dinner. I suppose I can always use my trip to the Dominican Republic as a way to get rid of him in the worst case scenario.
I'll write later tonight!
Chau!!
Tuesday, February 4, 2014
Call DCF I've Been Neglecting You
I don't even know where to begin really. I had so many plans for blogging in January and absolutely none of them came to fruition. 2014 is going to be one hell of a year...I can tell already.
Let me begin by saying that the reason I haven't blogged is not because I have been so inundated by dates or a one particular man that I have completely forgotten that it exists....quite the contrary. I started a second job working inpatient at another hospital in the city and I have barely even had time to think for the past month. Every time I sat down to write it seemed that I would either fall asleep or just have nothing to say. Its the eternal problem with my dating life really...I'm all about the job!
I was sure in trying to come up with a plan for 2014 that this would be the year I would finally get my personal life together. I've actually started going to the gym on a regular basis. I was finally feeling that I had my one job completely under control. I even had my little side projects well managed. Then I added the second job into the mix and everything seemed to shift slightly. I'm pretty sure after February things will probably calm down again and I will feel like I have a manageable workload and I can actually attempt dating like a real person again. Until then it is taking a back seat, per usual.
Well back to the updates and then I will continue to extrapolate on the reasons why I always choose my job and my academic life over dating.
I am still talking to the IndyGinger almost four months after meeting him. The conversations tend to be focused on him and I am okay with that. It's nice to talk to someone who calls me. He generally initiates the conversation whether on Facebook, text, or an actual phone call and I really like that a lot. It's too bad that he lives so far away. It's also too bad that he really does have a lot of self-esteem and depression stuff to overcome. I can only imagine the kind of psychological problems I would face having grown up in Kentucky so the fact that the guy is still standing at the end of everyday is amazing to me.
Unfortunately, the more I talk to the IndyGinger the more I am sure I am using him as a means of not going out and meeting new people. He is just another tool in this commitment phobe's toolbox. I mean there is no need for me to go out and strike up a conversation with someone interesting at the gym if I know I can go home and text a friend about it. I think that the IndyGinger may be using me as much as a tool in the commitment phobe toolbox as I'm using him. I'm sure talking to him everyday for the last week probably is not the best thing in the world to help my dating life. Oh well, for right now I am not going to push it. I'm just going to enjoy the fact that I have a friend who is easy to talk to and who only exists electronically....maybe one day he will get Skype and I'll actually be able to see him face to face.
This past weekend was a big fundraiser for the young gays of Boston so naturally I managed to get myself a free ticket. One of my lesbians called me last minute and insisted I accompany her as it was my chance to meet "Out-Gays-Who-Have-Their-Shit-Together". I went because quite frankly I wasn't doing anything else.
The event was held at the Revere Hotel in Downtown Boston and let me just say "Damn do the Homos know how to throw a fundraiser." There was a bar the minute you walked in and a second one in the giant warehouse like room beyond, there was an aerialist, there were veggie burger sliders, and there was of course a pretty cool DJ. I had a great time between the people I was with, the amount of gin I was consuming, and the music that was playing my Saturday was awesome.
Then as I was walking to pee I saw BRP. I should have known that he would be there as one of the politico-look-at-me-I'm-Important-Gays, but I didn't really come up with any sort of escape plan. Luckily, my lesbians are great and were able to hide me for the entirety of the night from him and any guy that I was not interested in talking to about some mundane chit chat. One guy had the balls the whole night to come talk with me standing among my lesbians and I have to say I wasn't annoyed at all . It was actually a residence director from one of the universities in Boston who I have always thought was cute. It's nice to know that people like that can at least be interested in you and are willing to bear the Birkenstocks to talk to you.
After the fundraiser ended we grabbed our coats and headed to the Liquor Store for a GQB event. I met up with one of my old college roommates in line waiting to get in and we ended up going together with some friends he met at a gay conference at Harvard. I got right into the club because I had a bracelet from the other fundraising event and left my ex-roommate and his new found friends at the door. Once I realized I had made it to the coat check without them I turned around and began trying to figure out where they went. I was walking up a narrow staircase next to a mechanical bull when I practically walked into BRP.
I had been doing so well at avoiding him at the other event it never even occurred to me that he may have transitioned over to this bar along with the rest of the hordes. Before I had even processed what was happening BRP physically lifted me off of the ground and held me in his arms smiling this big cheeky grin saying, "I've missed you." Almost as if it was an instinct my legs wrapped around his body and my arms flew around his neck. He looked up into my eyes and asked for a kiss.
I want everyone to take a minute and think about what this scene looks like. I am in a bar surrounded by a bunch of homos for the GQB night, a bunch of really confused straight people because its GQB night, I have a mechanical bull to my left, I have a line of people in front of me and behind me, and there is a stage to the right of me with two stripper poles, and here I am on the first step of a narrow staircase literally wrapped up in the arms of BRP. I had no other option....I gave him a quick peck on the lips and moved my hands for around his head to his chest and light hit him so as to make the point it was time to let me down because I had paid the troll my toll to cross his bridge. He obliged and I told him I was trying to find my friend and scurried off. I didn't see him the rest of the night.
Really the rest of the night went off without any problems. No problems and no action either....sort of a double edged sword. It was weird though as there were definitely people who appeared to be checking me out but nobody would even come and say hi. Whether that was because they had seen BRP lift me up, were afraid, or I had something stuck in my teeth is something that is still up for debate, but whatever the reason I wasn't totally offended by the result. It's nice to go out with friends and not get hit on sometimes.
I should mention that I did manage to go on one real date in January. I met this guy on OKC of course because I don't tend to meet anyone in person anymore who has the balls to actually ask me out. I think the appropriate nickname for this guy is the FaceBiter.
Allow me to explain: The FaceBiter is one of those guys who really enjoys the feel of facial hair/scruff. He likes the idea so much in fact that he rubbed his face against my 5 o'clock shadow and actually bit my chin or my cheek more than twice throughout the night.
A little more on the FaceBiter. It was actually one of those really easy good first dates. We met at Mike's in Davis Square after I worked all day and he had been in class. He beat me to the restaurant (no shocker there). He went in though and didn't sit down. He simply just waited for me to arrive before we went and got a seat. He is a pretty good catch beyond the face biting stuff. He is probably 6'1", heavier than me but not fat, he is Venezuelan, goes to MIT and works on Internet Policy, and he laughed at everything I said.
I really do enjoy having a sense of humor and making jokes out of everything, particularly those kinds of things which most people don't typically find funny. My brand of humor is a lot like me, either you get it and you love it or you don't get it and find it horribly offensive. He got it and laughed at some things that I didn't even intend to be jokes. We split a pitcher of beer and just talked for almost two hours. There was only one point in the conversation where one of my red flags went up. We were talking about how often/how much alcohol we drank when he told me he has about 20 drinks/week. In the moment I nodded and shook my head, but I was immediately comparing him to the alcoholic patients I treat in my work. 20 drinks/week is a pretty good amount of booze for one person every week and it is definitely over the recommended number of drinks per week.
In typical fashion after a semi good first date (by semi-good I mean no disclosure of past felonies) I invited him back to my place for another beer. Sitting on my couch enjoying a Blue Moon he made a move and actually started kissing me. We made out on the couch for a good 15 minutes until I finally made the suggestion to move to my bedroom. This was both because I thought it would be more comfortable for us, but it was also so my Fag Hag's straight boyfriend could walk about the house without having to see to guys make out. It's not that he is homophobic, but I am his first real foray into having a gay friend and we are still a little early in the game for him to be watching two dudes make out on the couch in front of him. I'll get him there, no worries, but all in time.
FaceBiter and I didn't have sex. We continued to hook up for about 2 hours, at first just playing around and then trading blowjobs. It was at this point where I found two more strikes against the FaceBiter. The first was that his dick was just not really what I am looking for in a man. It's not that his dick is to small, but rather its the proportions. It's on the short side and thick with a weirdly shaped shaft. The other strike against the FaceBiter was his use of his teeth during a blowjob.
The blowjob issue is rather amusing. FaceBiter loves to give head and LOVES to deep throat but every time my dick actually got into his throat it seemed like my dick would suddenly feel a bunch of little teeth around the base of the shaft. It was really disappointing. I was hoping that it would be one of his best assets....but I was wrong.
He claims that he is vers but judging on our interaction that boy is a sub bottom. He really wanted me to fuck him but luckily I was able to keep that in check and insist that he wait until next time. We played around. He came then he worked me over until I did and then we both passed out in my bed. The next morning I woke him up, we showered, and I dropped him off at home. He was going away the next weekend and wanted to know if he could see me again before that.....I wasn't able to make any plans but we have tentative plans for dinner this weekend. We'll see if that happens although I am less than optimistic since I have a bit of work to catch up on.
And with that I think everyone is caught up and I am now sufficiently tired enough to go to bed.
I promise another update very soon....
Until Next Time!
Chau!!
Let me begin by saying that the reason I haven't blogged is not because I have been so inundated by dates or a one particular man that I have completely forgotten that it exists....quite the contrary. I started a second job working inpatient at another hospital in the city and I have barely even had time to think for the past month. Every time I sat down to write it seemed that I would either fall asleep or just have nothing to say. Its the eternal problem with my dating life really...I'm all about the job!
I was sure in trying to come up with a plan for 2014 that this would be the year I would finally get my personal life together. I've actually started going to the gym on a regular basis. I was finally feeling that I had my one job completely under control. I even had my little side projects well managed. Then I added the second job into the mix and everything seemed to shift slightly. I'm pretty sure after February things will probably calm down again and I will feel like I have a manageable workload and I can actually attempt dating like a real person again. Until then it is taking a back seat, per usual.
Well back to the updates and then I will continue to extrapolate on the reasons why I always choose my job and my academic life over dating.
I am still talking to the IndyGinger almost four months after meeting him. The conversations tend to be focused on him and I am okay with that. It's nice to talk to someone who calls me. He generally initiates the conversation whether on Facebook, text, or an actual phone call and I really like that a lot. It's too bad that he lives so far away. It's also too bad that he really does have a lot of self-esteem and depression stuff to overcome. I can only imagine the kind of psychological problems I would face having grown up in Kentucky so the fact that the guy is still standing at the end of everyday is amazing to me.
Unfortunately, the more I talk to the IndyGinger the more I am sure I am using him as a means of not going out and meeting new people. He is just another tool in this commitment phobe's toolbox. I mean there is no need for me to go out and strike up a conversation with someone interesting at the gym if I know I can go home and text a friend about it. I think that the IndyGinger may be using me as much as a tool in the commitment phobe toolbox as I'm using him. I'm sure talking to him everyday for the last week probably is not the best thing in the world to help my dating life. Oh well, for right now I am not going to push it. I'm just going to enjoy the fact that I have a friend who is easy to talk to and who only exists electronically....maybe one day he will get Skype and I'll actually be able to see him face to face.
This past weekend was a big fundraiser for the young gays of Boston so naturally I managed to get myself a free ticket. One of my lesbians called me last minute and insisted I accompany her as it was my chance to meet "Out-Gays-Who-Have-Their-Shit-Together". I went because quite frankly I wasn't doing anything else.
The event was held at the Revere Hotel in Downtown Boston and let me just say "Damn do the Homos know how to throw a fundraiser." There was a bar the minute you walked in and a second one in the giant warehouse like room beyond, there was an aerialist, there were veggie burger sliders, and there was of course a pretty cool DJ. I had a great time between the people I was with, the amount of gin I was consuming, and the music that was playing my Saturday was awesome.
Then as I was walking to pee I saw BRP. I should have known that he would be there as one of the politico-look-at-me-I'm-Important-Gays, but I didn't really come up with any sort of escape plan. Luckily, my lesbians are great and were able to hide me for the entirety of the night from him and any guy that I was not interested in talking to about some mundane chit chat. One guy had the balls the whole night to come talk with me standing among my lesbians and I have to say I wasn't annoyed at all . It was actually a residence director from one of the universities in Boston who I have always thought was cute. It's nice to know that people like that can at least be interested in you and are willing to bear the Birkenstocks to talk to you.
After the fundraiser ended we grabbed our coats and headed to the Liquor Store for a GQB event. I met up with one of my old college roommates in line waiting to get in and we ended up going together with some friends he met at a gay conference at Harvard. I got right into the club because I had a bracelet from the other fundraising event and left my ex-roommate and his new found friends at the door. Once I realized I had made it to the coat check without them I turned around and began trying to figure out where they went. I was walking up a narrow staircase next to a mechanical bull when I practically walked into BRP.
I had been doing so well at avoiding him at the other event it never even occurred to me that he may have transitioned over to this bar along with the rest of the hordes. Before I had even processed what was happening BRP physically lifted me off of the ground and held me in his arms smiling this big cheeky grin saying, "I've missed you." Almost as if it was an instinct my legs wrapped around his body and my arms flew around his neck. He looked up into my eyes and asked for a kiss.
I want everyone to take a minute and think about what this scene looks like. I am in a bar surrounded by a bunch of homos for the GQB night, a bunch of really confused straight people because its GQB night, I have a mechanical bull to my left, I have a line of people in front of me and behind me, and there is a stage to the right of me with two stripper poles, and here I am on the first step of a narrow staircase literally wrapped up in the arms of BRP. I had no other option....I gave him a quick peck on the lips and moved my hands for around his head to his chest and light hit him so as to make the point it was time to let me down because I had paid the troll my toll to cross his bridge. He obliged and I told him I was trying to find my friend and scurried off. I didn't see him the rest of the night.
Really the rest of the night went off without any problems. No problems and no action either....sort of a double edged sword. It was weird though as there were definitely people who appeared to be checking me out but nobody would even come and say hi. Whether that was because they had seen BRP lift me up, were afraid, or I had something stuck in my teeth is something that is still up for debate, but whatever the reason I wasn't totally offended by the result. It's nice to go out with friends and not get hit on sometimes.
I should mention that I did manage to go on one real date in January. I met this guy on OKC of course because I don't tend to meet anyone in person anymore who has the balls to actually ask me out. I think the appropriate nickname for this guy is the FaceBiter.
Allow me to explain: The FaceBiter is one of those guys who really enjoys the feel of facial hair/scruff. He likes the idea so much in fact that he rubbed his face against my 5 o'clock shadow and actually bit my chin or my cheek more than twice throughout the night.
A little more on the FaceBiter. It was actually one of those really easy good first dates. We met at Mike's in Davis Square after I worked all day and he had been in class. He beat me to the restaurant (no shocker there). He went in though and didn't sit down. He simply just waited for me to arrive before we went and got a seat. He is a pretty good catch beyond the face biting stuff. He is probably 6'1", heavier than me but not fat, he is Venezuelan, goes to MIT and works on Internet Policy, and he laughed at everything I said.
I really do enjoy having a sense of humor and making jokes out of everything, particularly those kinds of things which most people don't typically find funny. My brand of humor is a lot like me, either you get it and you love it or you don't get it and find it horribly offensive. He got it and laughed at some things that I didn't even intend to be jokes. We split a pitcher of beer and just talked for almost two hours. There was only one point in the conversation where one of my red flags went up. We were talking about how often/how much alcohol we drank when he told me he has about 20 drinks/week. In the moment I nodded and shook my head, but I was immediately comparing him to the alcoholic patients I treat in my work. 20 drinks/week is a pretty good amount of booze for one person every week and it is definitely over the recommended number of drinks per week.
In typical fashion after a semi good first date (by semi-good I mean no disclosure of past felonies) I invited him back to my place for another beer. Sitting on my couch enjoying a Blue Moon he made a move and actually started kissing me. We made out on the couch for a good 15 minutes until I finally made the suggestion to move to my bedroom. This was both because I thought it would be more comfortable for us, but it was also so my Fag Hag's straight boyfriend could walk about the house without having to see to guys make out. It's not that he is homophobic, but I am his first real foray into having a gay friend and we are still a little early in the game for him to be watching two dudes make out on the couch in front of him. I'll get him there, no worries, but all in time.
FaceBiter and I didn't have sex. We continued to hook up for about 2 hours, at first just playing around and then trading blowjobs. It was at this point where I found two more strikes against the FaceBiter. The first was that his dick was just not really what I am looking for in a man. It's not that his dick is to small, but rather its the proportions. It's on the short side and thick with a weirdly shaped shaft. The other strike against the FaceBiter was his use of his teeth during a blowjob.
The blowjob issue is rather amusing. FaceBiter loves to give head and LOVES to deep throat but every time my dick actually got into his throat it seemed like my dick would suddenly feel a bunch of little teeth around the base of the shaft. It was really disappointing. I was hoping that it would be one of his best assets....but I was wrong.
He claims that he is vers but judging on our interaction that boy is a sub bottom. He really wanted me to fuck him but luckily I was able to keep that in check and insist that he wait until next time. We played around. He came then he worked me over until I did and then we both passed out in my bed. The next morning I woke him up, we showered, and I dropped him off at home. He was going away the next weekend and wanted to know if he could see me again before that.....I wasn't able to make any plans but we have tentative plans for dinner this weekend. We'll see if that happens although I am less than optimistic since I have a bit of work to catch up on.
And with that I think everyone is caught up and I am now sufficiently tired enough to go to bed.
I promise another update very soon....
Until Next Time!
Chau!!
Monday, December 30, 2013
Almost 2,000 Views
Going into the year 2014...this little dating blog has almost 2,000 views....I wonder how many of them have been my mother pretending not to read???? HMMMmmmMMMMMmmm...It doesn't matter really...this is more for me anyways. Although wouldn't that be a kicker. I mean for your mother to find your sex and dating blog once is bad, but to find it twice...that would just be fucking ridiculous.
I should get back to the point though. I think I need to look at things differently in the year coming up in terms of my dating life. I have been focused on trying to kiss as many frogs as I can. I have some weird Disney version of love where once a person has gotten through their predetermined number of frogs their ethnically ambiguous prince will simply fall right into their lap. Part of me still thinks this is true. Not the kissing a bunch of frogs part, but the Prince Charming eventually just showing up in your life out of nowhere part. Or maybe I don't think its true so much as I really HOPE that it's true.
I went out the other night after I passed a really big certification test. I went alone to a gay club because I wanted to dance. I had no ulterior motive. I didn't want to get laid, I didn't want to kiss a boy, I really didn't even want to have to go out with my friends, I just wanted to dance. So I did. I got to the club, grabbed a drink, and found two random straight girls to dance with for most of the night.
Per usual I knew a lot of the guys in the club because I had tested them before, and they all gave me oddly familiar looks. A few (4 or 5) men approached me and inquired as to how much. Again, this is unfortunately typical part of going out to a gay club for me. I think it's something about being fresh meat and usually going with a straight girl or meeting other people there. After the straight girls left I did end up dancing with a guy (cute, black, and from Paris), we even made out, but at around 1am I decided it was time to go. I simply left the dance floor, paid my tab, and then took a cab home. I grabbed some shitty Chinese food, walked the rest of the way home, and watched some crappy late night TV as I clogged my arteries.
In all honesty, it was one of the BEST nights out I have had in a long time. I went to a gay club and there was no pressure. I watched all of the craziness around me and could just dance without having to worry about some closeted straight boy trying to hit on me. I can handle the people who think I'm a prostitute at this point (to be honest it's almost flattering if you think about it the right way).
This is going to be my approach to the new year. I am going to allow myself to go to the gay bars and clubs. Even if that means going to them alone. I go out a bit with my friends who are all straight and I like it, but sometimes its nice to know that there are other out gay people in the city of Boston.
I'm not going to get rid of my OKC profile, but I am going to go back to basics. No messaging anyone first. Keeping everything online and messaging until the other person grows the balls to actually ask me on a date. And I am going to have no expectations for the first date, only for those thereafter. I will have certain things that will be disqualifiers for a second date, like being out or actually being interesting.
And with that it is officially December 31st....only 23 more hours of the year 2013 and I am as single as the day that it started (moreso actually). Maybe 2014 is the year....maybe not....I guess only time will tell.....
Chau!!
I should get back to the point though. I think I need to look at things differently in the year coming up in terms of my dating life. I have been focused on trying to kiss as many frogs as I can. I have some weird Disney version of love where once a person has gotten through their predetermined number of frogs their ethnically ambiguous prince will simply fall right into their lap. Part of me still thinks this is true. Not the kissing a bunch of frogs part, but the Prince Charming eventually just showing up in your life out of nowhere part. Or maybe I don't think its true so much as I really HOPE that it's true.
I went out the other night after I passed a really big certification test. I went alone to a gay club because I wanted to dance. I had no ulterior motive. I didn't want to get laid, I didn't want to kiss a boy, I really didn't even want to have to go out with my friends, I just wanted to dance. So I did. I got to the club, grabbed a drink, and found two random straight girls to dance with for most of the night.
Per usual I knew a lot of the guys in the club because I had tested them before, and they all gave me oddly familiar looks. A few (4 or 5) men approached me and inquired as to how much. Again, this is unfortunately typical part of going out to a gay club for me. I think it's something about being fresh meat and usually going with a straight girl or meeting other people there. After the straight girls left I did end up dancing with a guy (cute, black, and from Paris), we even made out, but at around 1am I decided it was time to go. I simply left the dance floor, paid my tab, and then took a cab home. I grabbed some shitty Chinese food, walked the rest of the way home, and watched some crappy late night TV as I clogged my arteries.
In all honesty, it was one of the BEST nights out I have had in a long time. I went to a gay club and there was no pressure. I watched all of the craziness around me and could just dance without having to worry about some closeted straight boy trying to hit on me. I can handle the people who think I'm a prostitute at this point (to be honest it's almost flattering if you think about it the right way).
This is going to be my approach to the new year. I am going to allow myself to go to the gay bars and clubs. Even if that means going to them alone. I go out a bit with my friends who are all straight and I like it, but sometimes its nice to know that there are other out gay people in the city of Boston.
I'm not going to get rid of my OKC profile, but I am going to go back to basics. No messaging anyone first. Keeping everything online and messaging until the other person grows the balls to actually ask me on a date. And I am going to have no expectations for the first date, only for those thereafter. I will have certain things that will be disqualifiers for a second date, like being out or actually being interesting.
And with that it is officially December 31st....only 23 more hours of the year 2013 and I am as single as the day that it started (moreso actually). Maybe 2014 is the year....maybe not....I guess only time will tell.....
Chau!!
Sunday, December 29, 2013
Updates...or Hauntings Depending on How You Look At It
As 2013 comes to a close apparently a bunch of the guys I went on dates with are going through their contact lists and deciding it would be a good idea to see exactly what I am up to again. So I thought I would share some of these updates with you.
Romeo--Recently Romeo has started to play games of Words with Friends with me again. In these games he almost invariably kicks my ass, but always strikes up a conversation. I have learned his plans for post-graduation, checked in about his holidays, and have even talked with him about the every day goings on of his life. It's almost as if he is using Words with Friends as a way to text me and show interest without texting me and showing interest. Honestly, its not doing anything for me. I am responding and being cordial because there was a time that I liked Romeo and thought he was wonderful, but the truth is the being in the closet to his family thing is a deal breaker. Since that still has not changed neither have my feelings about the Death of Romeo.
Geri--This guy is proving to be a bigger and bigger mistake with each passing month. He texted me this month inquiring as to whether or not he could get a test. I thought that he must have other options to get the test and was using this as a simple excuse to see me again, but I can't turn away a patient. I don't have it in me. He came in for the appointment and before he even sat down was commenting on my ass. REALLY? At that point I wanted to scream, but I kept it together and got through the risk assessment. It was actually one of the most awkward scenarios I've had in quite some time. I had to ask questions about his sexual history, which he then proceeded to try and make me feel awkward about. Then when I got to the substance abuse questions that I ask everyone he got very upset and almost angry. Geri was also clearly intoxicated when he came to see me so I really do think that he needs some sort of alcohol treatment, but at this point my hands are tied. He does not want to discuss that with me and I can't force him to so I simply gave him his test and sent him on his way.
SkaterBoy--Anybody even remember him?? I actually haven't written about him in a while but he has always sort of been in the orbit of people that I know. For those of you who are just joining us or who have forgotten...this is a friend of Tiny's who I have had a HUGE CRUSH on for a very long time. The guy is a figure skater with an ass to die for and a good heart. He's a little intense when it comes to certain things, but I love that kind of unbridled passion.
Well back to the point....he got an OKC account. He came up in my match ratings so I naturally rated him either a 4 or 5 stars so that if he rated me back similarly I would know that maybe he was interested. Well much to my surprise a day later I got a message from OKC informing me that indeed he had also rated me highly. So in an unprecedented maneuver...I actually messaged him first. I NEVER do that. It's like rule number one of online dating for me. I always respond, will always say yes to a first date, but I never make the first move. I guess part of me is afraid of being rejected and part of me thinks that I need a man who can take the initiative to be interested in me. For some reason I decided to buck traditional logic and go for it....and of course....NO RESPONSE. Typical! I'm okay with it though. My crush has been waning throughout the year and one time I saw him at the beach wearing shoes...yes he is a Shoebie so it would probably never work anyways.
Harvard Gaymer--Last week the Harvard Gaymer actually messaged me on OKC. It was a really cute message that basically boiled down to I miss you. That was nice. The conversation continued and it became a little bit more about catching up with each other. He is 21 now and asked if I might consider going out to a bar with him at least as friends since we did get along well together. I think that there really is no harm in that at all. Actually, I believe that he probably doesn't have a lot of gay friends who are of legal drinking age and it wouldn't hurt if I took him out to a gay bar or two and showed him the ropes. Unfortunately, the same problems that existed there before still exist. He is still not out to his family and he is young. I don't mean young in terms of his age, but in terms of his maturity level/comfortability with himself.
BRP--Well since my last post about him he has actually messaged me again, but I didn't respond this time. I know that makes me sound like a horribly immature person, but he just isn't taking the hint otherwise. I have tried to be honest without hurting his feelings, but it is simply not working so just not responding is really my only option at this point.
Hickey--We still talk and we still sext and we still booty call each other. I think that he definitely still has feelings for me though so I have to be careful about how often I talk with him. I don't want to give him the wrong impression and create a problem for myself in the future. I like what's happening now, but only because I think that we both have a mutual understanding that it is just a friendship with occasional bouts of sex.
Tiny--I messaged him on Facebook not too long ago and we had a talk about his date. Neither one of us mentioned the sex. I didn't mention it because quite frankly it wasn't a thing for me and I'm willing to bet he didn't mention it because he didn't even cum. We are still able to talk just like we use to and I am thankful for that....I like my gay friends and would hate for that to change.
So those are the updates for now on all my men....sometimes I think it must be some kind of sick joke and then I reread the blog posts....
Until Next Time!!
Chau!
Friday, December 27, 2013
Crazy Magnet Part Deux
SO as I had told you all things with BRP were over. I had texted him and he seemed to accept everything really well. Then tonight....at about 2:30AM this motherfucker texts me "You clearly weren't that interested, which is cool, but I get it, I'm not your type."
Seriously at 2:30am on a Thursday/Friday after Christmas. I thought you were a grown up with a real job like me. I answered because I thought it might be a patient and then when I read it I couldn't just go back to sleep. I actually answered him. That's right I answered him and said that he actually was my type I just felt guilty I couldn't give him the time I thought he deserved.
As previously discussed here I didn't really feel that way, but I think its a lot better then saying...."on paper you are perfect, everything I've ever imagined my future husband would be, but for some reason there is no spark. I don't see fireworks when we kiss. I don't get lost in your eyes. I don't find myself helplessly checking you out every time you walk away from me." Am I crazy here? I mean I needed to be honest which is why I said we shouldn't see each other, but I don't want to hurt the guy's feelings either because the truth is he is perfect on paper and he is super nice.
The rest of the conversation progressed exactly as you would have imagined. But one thing distinctively caught my eye. In one of the texts he said, "I miss our sex...lol" Anybody remember where they have seen that before??? Maybe with Hickey? How crazy is that? I'm still floored, but it definitely just clued me in to the kind of craziness I am actually dealing with when I talk to this guy.
At around 3am when I realized this texting was going no where fast I even volunteered to let the guy come over to talk it out, which he thankfully denied. He did try to get me to see him tomorrow though. I, THANK GOD, have to work and study for an exam I am taking on Saturday.
I feel bad...the guy is perfect on paper but there is just something off about it....
The perfect example of that is this whole conversation we had tonight. A totally appropriate conversation to have had when I first told you I thought maybe it wasn't a great idea to see each other anymore. But you brought it up almost 2.5 weeks later at 2:30am undoubtedly after coming home drunk from a bar. It's just weird.
I digress....just needed to get that off my chest. I actually have two more updates but they're about people who aren't in the race anymore.
Until Next Time,
Chau!!
Seriously at 2:30am on a Thursday/Friday after Christmas. I thought you were a grown up with a real job like me. I answered because I thought it might be a patient and then when I read it I couldn't just go back to sleep. I actually answered him. That's right I answered him and said that he actually was my type I just felt guilty I couldn't give him the time I thought he deserved.
As previously discussed here I didn't really feel that way, but I think its a lot better then saying...."on paper you are perfect, everything I've ever imagined my future husband would be, but for some reason there is no spark. I don't see fireworks when we kiss. I don't get lost in your eyes. I don't find myself helplessly checking you out every time you walk away from me." Am I crazy here? I mean I needed to be honest which is why I said we shouldn't see each other, but I don't want to hurt the guy's feelings either because the truth is he is perfect on paper and he is super nice.
The rest of the conversation progressed exactly as you would have imagined. But one thing distinctively caught my eye. In one of the texts he said, "I miss our sex...lol" Anybody remember where they have seen that before??? Maybe with Hickey? How crazy is that? I'm still floored, but it definitely just clued me in to the kind of craziness I am actually dealing with when I talk to this guy.
At around 3am when I realized this texting was going no where fast I even volunteered to let the guy come over to talk it out, which he thankfully denied. He did try to get me to see him tomorrow though. I, THANK GOD, have to work and study for an exam I am taking on Saturday.
I feel bad...the guy is perfect on paper but there is just something off about it....
The perfect example of that is this whole conversation we had tonight. A totally appropriate conversation to have had when I first told you I thought maybe it wasn't a great idea to see each other anymore. But you brought it up almost 2.5 weeks later at 2:30am undoubtedly after coming home drunk from a bar. It's just weird.
I digress....just needed to get that off my chest. I actually have two more updates but they're about people who aren't in the race anymore.
Until Next Time,
Chau!!
Sunday, November 24, 2013
WTF Indy??
My trip to Indianapolis was a total success on a lot of different levels. First I was there for an amazing nursing conference. I learned a lot. I got to schmooze with a lot of really big names in nursing. I was inspired to continue my education ASAP. I didn't feel alone in the world of nursing academia for once.
The other success of my trip to Indy was a guy that I met. We met the first night that I was there and saw each other basically everyday I was in the city...
Let's start with some basic facts. I met the guy and we ended up together in my hotel room pretty shortly after I met him. He was cute, 27, a ginger, has long pony-tail length hair, nice body, pale as a ghost, and beautiful grey eyes. Think cast member from the revival of Hair...We ended up kissing pretty soon after meeting and I noticed the pentagram necklace around his neck. So I of course just had to ask. Mid tongue exploration of my mouth he told me that he was a witch.
Yes....a real witch. I asked him what he meant and he proceeded to tell me how he was a practitioner of Wiccan. I'm not one to judge so we continued making out. I was originally going to base his nickname off of this fact, but he asked that I not use his religion in making up his nickname so he is going to just be the IndyGinger.
***********************NSFW************************
Making out quickly turned to more... Before I really knew what was going on the IndyGinger had dropped to his knees and was undoing my pants asking me to throat fuck him. Now before this post goes any further I have to sort of put together a disclaimer. I am all about having good, safe, fun sexually. So if someone wants me to fuck their throat who am I to judge or not accommodate.
So we started fooling around and things got really dirty in a good way really fast. Eventually I figured that he could use a break and we started talking some more. The conversation was again so natural and so easy I couldn't believe it. I learned about a column he writes for a paper about horoscopes. He has two jobs on top of that. He is the oldest of seven....originally from Kentucky. Yes he has an accent...and is a self-proclaimed hillbilly...What was great is that after the talking he was just as into going back to the rough oral sex as I was.
The other amazing thing about hooking up with the IndyGinger is that he liked having fun while we fooled around. So he made a game of trying to guess my last name, my birth date, my astrological sign but involving the oral sex. It was honestly so much fun and hot all at the same time. We continued on in this way for a while until he finally wanted me to cum. I explained that I couldn't cum first and he made a quizzical face but just proceeded on. He grabbed my ass and shoved my dick as far down his throat as he could and he came within a minute barely touching his own cock. He then continued sucking me off until I came myself minutes later.
************************SFW*************************
We showered and he suggested that we do food or something. I agree for a lot of reasons, but mostly because the conversation had been good and the oral was awesome too. We headed to the grocery store to buy snacks, but ultimately decided that going to a diner for breakfast food would be the better option at this point. We walked into a diner called Peppy's which actually a fairly famous Indy landmark for locals.
Basically think Merlotte's from True Blood, but with less thick southern accents, and only white people. What was surreal is that I was sitting their with an out gay witch. It really was like an episode of True Blood in some ways. The cooks/waitstaff were phenomenal and joked around with both the IndyGinger and me. Then as we were about to head out it started pouring rain. As were walking back to the car he stopped me and kissed me in the rain. There was just something so very right about the whole thing.
The next day he texted me about going out to dinner. I agreed because after the convention was over there wasn't much for me to do anyway. Plus...he was cute, nice, different, and into me. Probably an hour before we were supposed to meet he asked if I would mind going to his place for dinner. I didn't have any objections so I figured it would be okay...I did make sure my friends from home knew though so I would be getting and giving text message updates...I was actually really excited to have met a nice guy for a change.
He picked me up and we went to his house...which he rents alone with the money from his three jobs...oh and did I mention he is in college too...he wants to go to med school to become a D.O. Immediately he started making dinner and I got to look around the house.
First let me say the house smelled AMAZING!! I'm not sure what it would feel like for a nose to have an orgasm, but if its possible mine may have had one, from the smell of the oils, the candles, and the food that was being cooked my nose was on total overdrive.
Secondly, the house definitely had a Wiccan vibe. I mean besides the altar room where he practiced, there was definitely signs of his religion throughout the house. From the paintings, to the sculptures, to the plants, to the furniture, everything was unique and had a flair of Charmed about it.
Finally in the kitchen it was very much like I had stepped into a hippy's place in Cambridge. Home grown and dried herbs, organic food, distilled water, everything looked as though it was right out of a home owned by a college professor and his wife. Dinner was chicken in a tumeric and garlic sauce, cous cous, and baked diced potatoes...DELICIOUS! He could cook and I was thrilled.
Conversation throughout dinner flowed just as easily as it had the day before our dinner date. Nothing seemed forced or contrived. It was just easy. I enjoyed hearing about his life and he was interested in mine.
After dinner we snuggled up on the couch and watched a crappy James Franco like we had been a couple for years. I laid on him and then when I got sick of that he just snuggled up into the crook of my arm. The movie ended and he offered to let me stay at his place. I thought about it and decided that it would be okay. So I went up to his room and we hopped into bed and simply fell asleep. Nothing sexual at all....just spooning.
We woke up a little late the next morning and he was actually late to work...but he insisted on driving me to the door of the hotel to make sure I made it there safely....which made him later to work. Despite his efforts to see me that night I insisted that he stay home and do his homework and sleep. He had to work after all and still had things to do for school...but we ended up texting back and forth all night.
The next day the effort to see me doubled and I relented. Though I blamed his own school work on my reasoning for not seeing him the day before a lot of the reason I didn't want to see him was because I was really beginning to like him and I knew I was leaving the coming Wednesday. My own desire to see the IndyGinger overcame my fear that I might actually miss him when I left.
************************NSFW***********************
He came over and we were talking and then making out and then fooling around and then he said he wanted me to fuck him. I had condoms...always prepared...just like a girl scout....my Mama taught me right....so I agreed. Unfortunately, he definitely was not use to bottoming. We waited and waited for him to adjust but it just didn't seem to be happening...so I said, "Listen if its not happening that's okay. We don't have to have sex." He looked totally dejected so I offered to bottom, but that just made him look more upset. I then insisted that we stop trying to have anal sex because the oral sex we had been having was so good. He agreed and we kept fooling around.
We again played a game this time involving him learning Spanish. It was fun and sexy and it just worked. Everything about us hooking up just worked. When we both finally came we showered and again started having some pillow talk.
*************************SFW************************
It was at this point that I brought up the fact that I was leaving. Neither one of us really wanted to talk about it. Neither one of us had a very good understanding of what was going to happen after I left. In discussing my trip home we both revealed that we had talked about each other with our friends from home. His friends, a girl and a former pornstar, couldn't believe that I was real. My friends felt the same way about him.
We also had the discussion about what would happen if I wasn't leaving the next day. We were both totally agreed that we would be dating. I'm sure that if he lived in Cambridge instead of Indianapolis I would make an effort to continue to see him and date him. Should that change though because of the distance? Neither one of us was sure. He finally left with a passionate kiss and a peck good bye. The minute he had walked out the door I could tell I was going to miss him.
Isn't that completely insane? I knew someone for four days and on my trip home I knew I was going to miss them. I swear I am losing my mind. I have been home for four days now and have spoken with him every day.
Yesterday I got this text: "So....I really miss you...a lot...lol. No joke"
I didn't even know how to respond. I miss him too. I let him know that I was willing to continue talking but I wasn't sure exactly how this would work. He agreed that for now texting and phone calls were probably the best idea since he doesn't have skype.
He called me today and we talked on the phone for at least 20 minutes. We didn't talk about anything particularly important: how our weeks had gone, how my trip home went, and other things we had talked to our friends about. The subject of how/if we should keep talking came up again and we both agreed for the second time that texting and a regular phone call would suffice for now.
I'm really unsure of how to proceed at this point. I've NEVER been in this predicament before in my life. I should not like this guy based on what he looks like on paper. He is from Indy, he is weird, he is from Indianapolis, and he is a hillbilly at heart, not to mention his religion. I can't help the fact that I still like talking to him. I smile every time I get a text message from him. The craziest thing is I have only known him for a little over a week and I feel this way.
I guess for now I am going to tread carefully. I don't know what the right decisions in this situation are and I don't think anyone really does. So I am going to keep and open mind, take one day at a time, and just see what happens. Who knows? Maybe the IndyGinger is the reason I was supposed to go to Indianapolis in the first place.
Until Next Time....
Chau!!
The other success of my trip to Indy was a guy that I met. We met the first night that I was there and saw each other basically everyday I was in the city...
Let's start with some basic facts. I met the guy and we ended up together in my hotel room pretty shortly after I met him. He was cute, 27, a ginger, has long pony-tail length hair, nice body, pale as a ghost, and beautiful grey eyes. Think cast member from the revival of Hair...We ended up kissing pretty soon after meeting and I noticed the pentagram necklace around his neck. So I of course just had to ask. Mid tongue exploration of my mouth he told me that he was a witch.
Yes....a real witch. I asked him what he meant and he proceeded to tell me how he was a practitioner of Wiccan. I'm not one to judge so we continued making out. I was originally going to base his nickname off of this fact, but he asked that I not use his religion in making up his nickname so he is going to just be the IndyGinger.
***********************NSFW************************
Making out quickly turned to more... Before I really knew what was going on the IndyGinger had dropped to his knees and was undoing my pants asking me to throat fuck him. Now before this post goes any further I have to sort of put together a disclaimer. I am all about having good, safe, fun sexually. So if someone wants me to fuck their throat who am I to judge or not accommodate.
So we started fooling around and things got really dirty in a good way really fast. Eventually I figured that he could use a break and we started talking some more. The conversation was again so natural and so easy I couldn't believe it. I learned about a column he writes for a paper about horoscopes. He has two jobs on top of that. He is the oldest of seven....originally from Kentucky. Yes he has an accent...and is a self-proclaimed hillbilly...What was great is that after the talking he was just as into going back to the rough oral sex as I was.
The other amazing thing about hooking up with the IndyGinger is that he liked having fun while we fooled around. So he made a game of trying to guess my last name, my birth date, my astrological sign but involving the oral sex. It was honestly so much fun and hot all at the same time. We continued on in this way for a while until he finally wanted me to cum. I explained that I couldn't cum first and he made a quizzical face but just proceeded on. He grabbed my ass and shoved my dick as far down his throat as he could and he came within a minute barely touching his own cock. He then continued sucking me off until I came myself minutes later.
************************SFW*************************
We showered and he suggested that we do food or something. I agree for a lot of reasons, but mostly because the conversation had been good and the oral was awesome too. We headed to the grocery store to buy snacks, but ultimately decided that going to a diner for breakfast food would be the better option at this point. We walked into a diner called Peppy's which actually a fairly famous Indy landmark for locals.
Basically think Merlotte's from True Blood, but with less thick southern accents, and only white people. What was surreal is that I was sitting their with an out gay witch. It really was like an episode of True Blood in some ways. The cooks/waitstaff were phenomenal and joked around with both the IndyGinger and me. Then as we were about to head out it started pouring rain. As were walking back to the car he stopped me and kissed me in the rain. There was just something so very right about the whole thing.
The next day he texted me about going out to dinner. I agreed because after the convention was over there wasn't much for me to do anyway. Plus...he was cute, nice, different, and into me. Probably an hour before we were supposed to meet he asked if I would mind going to his place for dinner. I didn't have any objections so I figured it would be okay...I did make sure my friends from home knew though so I would be getting and giving text message updates...I was actually really excited to have met a nice guy for a change.
He picked me up and we went to his house...which he rents alone with the money from his three jobs...oh and did I mention he is in college too...he wants to go to med school to become a D.O. Immediately he started making dinner and I got to look around the house.
First let me say the house smelled AMAZING!! I'm not sure what it would feel like for a nose to have an orgasm, but if its possible mine may have had one, from the smell of the oils, the candles, and the food that was being cooked my nose was on total overdrive.
Secondly, the house definitely had a Wiccan vibe. I mean besides the altar room where he practiced, there was definitely signs of his religion throughout the house. From the paintings, to the sculptures, to the plants, to the furniture, everything was unique and had a flair of Charmed about it.
Finally in the kitchen it was very much like I had stepped into a hippy's place in Cambridge. Home grown and dried herbs, organic food, distilled water, everything looked as though it was right out of a home owned by a college professor and his wife. Dinner was chicken in a tumeric and garlic sauce, cous cous, and baked diced potatoes...DELICIOUS! He could cook and I was thrilled.
Conversation throughout dinner flowed just as easily as it had the day before our dinner date. Nothing seemed forced or contrived. It was just easy. I enjoyed hearing about his life and he was interested in mine.
After dinner we snuggled up on the couch and watched a crappy James Franco like we had been a couple for years. I laid on him and then when I got sick of that he just snuggled up into the crook of my arm. The movie ended and he offered to let me stay at his place. I thought about it and decided that it would be okay. So I went up to his room and we hopped into bed and simply fell asleep. Nothing sexual at all....just spooning.
We woke up a little late the next morning and he was actually late to work...but he insisted on driving me to the door of the hotel to make sure I made it there safely....which made him later to work. Despite his efforts to see me that night I insisted that he stay home and do his homework and sleep. He had to work after all and still had things to do for school...but we ended up texting back and forth all night.
The next day the effort to see me doubled and I relented. Though I blamed his own school work on my reasoning for not seeing him the day before a lot of the reason I didn't want to see him was because I was really beginning to like him and I knew I was leaving the coming Wednesday. My own desire to see the IndyGinger overcame my fear that I might actually miss him when I left.
************************NSFW***********************
He came over and we were talking and then making out and then fooling around and then he said he wanted me to fuck him. I had condoms...always prepared...just like a girl scout....my Mama taught me right....so I agreed. Unfortunately, he definitely was not use to bottoming. We waited and waited for him to adjust but it just didn't seem to be happening...so I said, "Listen if its not happening that's okay. We don't have to have sex." He looked totally dejected so I offered to bottom, but that just made him look more upset. I then insisted that we stop trying to have anal sex because the oral sex we had been having was so good. He agreed and we kept fooling around.
We again played a game this time involving him learning Spanish. It was fun and sexy and it just worked. Everything about us hooking up just worked. When we both finally came we showered and again started having some pillow talk.
*************************SFW************************
It was at this point that I brought up the fact that I was leaving. Neither one of us really wanted to talk about it. Neither one of us had a very good understanding of what was going to happen after I left. In discussing my trip home we both revealed that we had talked about each other with our friends from home. His friends, a girl and a former pornstar, couldn't believe that I was real. My friends felt the same way about him.
We also had the discussion about what would happen if I wasn't leaving the next day. We were both totally agreed that we would be dating. I'm sure that if he lived in Cambridge instead of Indianapolis I would make an effort to continue to see him and date him. Should that change though because of the distance? Neither one of us was sure. He finally left with a passionate kiss and a peck good bye. The minute he had walked out the door I could tell I was going to miss him.
Isn't that completely insane? I knew someone for four days and on my trip home I knew I was going to miss them. I swear I am losing my mind. I have been home for four days now and have spoken with him every day.
Yesterday I got this text: "So....I really miss you...a lot...lol. No joke"
I didn't even know how to respond. I miss him too. I let him know that I was willing to continue talking but I wasn't sure exactly how this would work. He agreed that for now texting and phone calls were probably the best idea since he doesn't have skype.
He called me today and we talked on the phone for at least 20 minutes. We didn't talk about anything particularly important: how our weeks had gone, how my trip home went, and other things we had talked to our friends about. The subject of how/if we should keep talking came up again and we both agreed for the second time that texting and a regular phone call would suffice for now.
I'm really unsure of how to proceed at this point. I've NEVER been in this predicament before in my life. I should not like this guy based on what he looks like on paper. He is from Indy, he is weird, he is from Indianapolis, and he is a hillbilly at heart, not to mention his religion. I can't help the fact that I still like talking to him. I smile every time I get a text message from him. The craziest thing is I have only known him for a little over a week and I feel this way.
I guess for now I am going to tread carefully. I don't know what the right decisions in this situation are and I don't think anyone really does. So I am going to keep and open mind, take one day at a time, and just see what happens. Who knows? Maybe the IndyGinger is the reason I was supposed to go to Indianapolis in the first place.
Until Next Time....
Chau!!
Tuesday, November 19, 2013
So Much....So Much....
I want to start this post by saying I have SO MUCH to report about. There are so many things going on and I have been completely remiss in trying to make sure that I have been keeping this blog updated. So let me begin with the date I had after Dramatic Churchboy.
The guy that I was really excited to go on a date with let's call him the BlackaRican Politico or BRP. Let me start with a physical description. He is shorter than me probably 5'9" or so, dark skinned, goatee, and big and beefy. He is a Crossfit guy. He also has a pretty fancy job working for a big deal politician in the State of MA. He is older than me (32). He is out and he lives in Boston. He is PERFECT on paper!
Our first date was at Diesel Cafe the day after my date with Dramatic Churchboy. We met at Diesel later that night. I got coffee and he got a drink and a sandwich and we just began talking. We definitely hit it off. We talked about everything! His job, my job, his family, my family, future plans, tv, books, politics...the conversation flowed like BUTTAH! Plus he looked exactly like what I had expected (minus a pair of really pointy shoes).
Before I knew it the staff at Diesel were flashing the lights a sure sign that they want you to get the hell out. We had arrived at around 8 and it was now past 11....we had been talking for 3 hours and I didn't even notice.
Once we were outside I suggested that we maybe go for a little walk around Davis Square. He agreed and before I knew it we were strolling along and continuing our conversation. It was a pretty chilly night and in typical fashion I had not brought a proper coat, so I was a little cold. When I indicated that I should probably get going because of the temperature BRP began asking about our next meeting. I told him that I unfortunately would not be able to go out anytime in the near future because I had to leave town for a conference in Indianapolis. He seemed okay with that but still began asking what I thought an appropriate second date might look like.
I insisted that just about anything would be good and he seemed a little frustrated with me which I took to be a good sign. A sign that he wanted to impress me...which I can definitely appreciate.
When he realized that I was about to walk home he ended up offering me a ride up the street to my apartment. I jumped at the opportunity. I figured if he drove me home I would be able to at least get a kiss in and see just how compatible we were. Arriving in front of my house I turned to him and we began kissing. After 5 minutes we were in full on make-out mode and I didn't really care. It wasn't until a car behind us put on its high beams that I realized we were blocking my neighbors entrance to their driveway.
I wasn't ready to stop the kissing so I advised a quick drive up the street. We ended up in a little parking lot that overlooks one of the local university fields. It was here where the make-out session got pretty hot and heavy. I attempted to control myself, but sometimes I just get these urges, especially when I haven't been on a date with a normal attractive guy in a while. So there I was in a parked car outside of a football field with the windows fogged up rounding third.
His dick was a good size. Not necessarily super long, but girthy, just like him. He had a nice set of balls, but the best part of this guy was definitely his muscles. His arms, thighs, and chest are just HUGE! Definitely one of those guys who "Picks Things Up and Puts Things Down."
A couple hours later, when I couldn't feel my toes, I realized that it was a couple hours later. I had been fooling around with BRP in his car for some time and he still hadn't finished. I figured it was about time to call it a draw. I felt bad that I wasn't able to finish the job, but BRP insisted that it wasn't anything I was doing, it was the temperature of the car. I guess that made sense, but I couldn't help feeling a little bit bad about the whole thing.
He then started the car and began the drive back to the front of my apartment. With a final passionate kiss goodnight I headed to my bedroom elated that I had finally found someone who could maybe make my dream of being a politician's do-gooder gay husband a reality.
The date was great, the conversation was super friendly, and the connection physically was definitely real. I couldn't wait to get back from Indianapolis to see him again.
I got a text message a few days later, two prior to my trip, asking if maybe I could entertain a night time cuddler. I hesitated because I didn't want to let on how much I like BRP so far. I figured if I made him wait until I got back from my trip I would have a better handle on my feelings and would be able to sort them out, but I had a glass of wine or two in me and really just wanted to see him again.
BRP came over and all of my roommates headed to bed before he even made it in the house. I proceeded to give a tour of the apartment, saving my room for last. When we entered my room we immediately began making out. I think he popped a chubby the minute his lips touched mine. He was wearing gym shorts(clearly no underwear), a tight under armor shirt, and a baseball hat. He looked good and I was excited to be warmer this time to see what I could do.
After only a few minutes we were back to the same situation we had been in when we were in his car. Both of us were excited and having a good time. Half an hour later we stopped going at it and began actually talking. Neither one of us had cum yet but it was nice just to be able to have a conversation. Fifteen minutes later I realized two things: 1) His father died the week before our date and 2) His dick was now completely soft.
To me this makes perfect sense. If talking about the death of your father gave you an erection I would say you are probably a good candidate for a Criminal Minds episode....which would definitely disqualify you from being one of my potential dating candidates.
The problem was not that his dick got hard but that I couldn't get it hard again if my life depended on it. I tried every trick I knew. Every swirl, whirl, and twirl my tongue would allow but it remained a piece of Play-Do in my mouth.
Three or four failed attempts to rectify the situation led to him offering to just finish me off. I informed him that would be impossible and once I explained why he understood and decided that it was probably time for him to go since it was 3:30a and he had to be at work for 7a.
As he was getting himself dressed and the idea of getting hard and cumming was finally out of his mind, I dropped to my knees and in 3 minutes got the guy to cum. I don't know what it was, but it was definitely something psychological that was the problem. Clearly the equipment worked it was just whether or not it worked with me.
BRP assured me that I was not the problem and that he didn't think the stress was a problem at all. Then he turned his sights and goals toward getting me off. Within 20 minutes I finally was able to just cum, but I was left with an odd feeling. Deep down something seemed to be wrong. I'm still not really sure what it is but something just seemed off about the chemistry. I guess I will just have to go out with him again after my trip to Indianapolis and really figure out what the problem is exactly or if I am maybe just imagining it.
For the record this is one of two guys I still have to tell you about but its getting late and a lot of things need to happen tomorrow so....
Until Next Time!
Chau!!
The guy that I was really excited to go on a date with let's call him the BlackaRican Politico or BRP. Let me start with a physical description. He is shorter than me probably 5'9" or so, dark skinned, goatee, and big and beefy. He is a Crossfit guy. He also has a pretty fancy job working for a big deal politician in the State of MA. He is older than me (32). He is out and he lives in Boston. He is PERFECT on paper!
Our first date was at Diesel Cafe the day after my date with Dramatic Churchboy. We met at Diesel later that night. I got coffee and he got a drink and a sandwich and we just began talking. We definitely hit it off. We talked about everything! His job, my job, his family, my family, future plans, tv, books, politics...the conversation flowed like BUTTAH! Plus he looked exactly like what I had expected (minus a pair of really pointy shoes).
Before I knew it the staff at Diesel were flashing the lights a sure sign that they want you to get the hell out. We had arrived at around 8 and it was now past 11....we had been talking for 3 hours and I didn't even notice.
Once we were outside I suggested that we maybe go for a little walk around Davis Square. He agreed and before I knew it we were strolling along and continuing our conversation. It was a pretty chilly night and in typical fashion I had not brought a proper coat, so I was a little cold. When I indicated that I should probably get going because of the temperature BRP began asking about our next meeting. I told him that I unfortunately would not be able to go out anytime in the near future because I had to leave town for a conference in Indianapolis. He seemed okay with that but still began asking what I thought an appropriate second date might look like.
I insisted that just about anything would be good and he seemed a little frustrated with me which I took to be a good sign. A sign that he wanted to impress me...which I can definitely appreciate.
When he realized that I was about to walk home he ended up offering me a ride up the street to my apartment. I jumped at the opportunity. I figured if he drove me home I would be able to at least get a kiss in and see just how compatible we were. Arriving in front of my house I turned to him and we began kissing. After 5 minutes we were in full on make-out mode and I didn't really care. It wasn't until a car behind us put on its high beams that I realized we were blocking my neighbors entrance to their driveway.
I wasn't ready to stop the kissing so I advised a quick drive up the street. We ended up in a little parking lot that overlooks one of the local university fields. It was here where the make-out session got pretty hot and heavy. I attempted to control myself, but sometimes I just get these urges, especially when I haven't been on a date with a normal attractive guy in a while. So there I was in a parked car outside of a football field with the windows fogged up rounding third.
His dick was a good size. Not necessarily super long, but girthy, just like him. He had a nice set of balls, but the best part of this guy was definitely his muscles. His arms, thighs, and chest are just HUGE! Definitely one of those guys who "Picks Things Up and Puts Things Down."
A couple hours later, when I couldn't feel my toes, I realized that it was a couple hours later. I had been fooling around with BRP in his car for some time and he still hadn't finished. I figured it was about time to call it a draw. I felt bad that I wasn't able to finish the job, but BRP insisted that it wasn't anything I was doing, it was the temperature of the car. I guess that made sense, but I couldn't help feeling a little bit bad about the whole thing.
He then started the car and began the drive back to the front of my apartment. With a final passionate kiss goodnight I headed to my bedroom elated that I had finally found someone who could maybe make my dream of being a politician's do-gooder gay husband a reality.
The date was great, the conversation was super friendly, and the connection physically was definitely real. I couldn't wait to get back from Indianapolis to see him again.
I got a text message a few days later, two prior to my trip, asking if maybe I could entertain a night time cuddler. I hesitated because I didn't want to let on how much I like BRP so far. I figured if I made him wait until I got back from my trip I would have a better handle on my feelings and would be able to sort them out, but I had a glass of wine or two in me and really just wanted to see him again.
BRP came over and all of my roommates headed to bed before he even made it in the house. I proceeded to give a tour of the apartment, saving my room for last. When we entered my room we immediately began making out. I think he popped a chubby the minute his lips touched mine. He was wearing gym shorts(clearly no underwear), a tight under armor shirt, and a baseball hat. He looked good and I was excited to be warmer this time to see what I could do.
After only a few minutes we were back to the same situation we had been in when we were in his car. Both of us were excited and having a good time. Half an hour later we stopped going at it and began actually talking. Neither one of us had cum yet but it was nice just to be able to have a conversation. Fifteen minutes later I realized two things: 1) His father died the week before our date and 2) His dick was now completely soft.
To me this makes perfect sense. If talking about the death of your father gave you an erection I would say you are probably a good candidate for a Criminal Minds episode....which would definitely disqualify you from being one of my potential dating candidates.
The problem was not that his dick got hard but that I couldn't get it hard again if my life depended on it. I tried every trick I knew. Every swirl, whirl, and twirl my tongue would allow but it remained a piece of Play-Do in my mouth.
Three or four failed attempts to rectify the situation led to him offering to just finish me off. I informed him that would be impossible and once I explained why he understood and decided that it was probably time for him to go since it was 3:30a and he had to be at work for 7a.
As he was getting himself dressed and the idea of getting hard and cumming was finally out of his mind, I dropped to my knees and in 3 minutes got the guy to cum. I don't know what it was, but it was definitely something psychological that was the problem. Clearly the equipment worked it was just whether or not it worked with me.
BRP assured me that I was not the problem and that he didn't think the stress was a problem at all. Then he turned his sights and goals toward getting me off. Within 20 minutes I finally was able to just cum, but I was left with an odd feeling. Deep down something seemed to be wrong. I'm still not really sure what it is but something just seemed off about the chemistry. I guess I will just have to go out with him again after my trip to Indianapolis and really figure out what the problem is exactly or if I am maybe just imagining it.
For the record this is one of two guys I still have to tell you about but its getting late and a lot of things need to happen tomorrow so....
Until Next Time!
Chau!!
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