When it Rains....it Fucking Pours...And Then You Occasionally Get Struck By Lightning

I guess this is more of an update post than a really great one in general, but I haven't posted anything in a while so I figure I needed to say something. First let me blame my lack of posts on two things: 1. I just got a new job and have been working pretty regularly to try and stay on top of things and 2. I haven't even had a probably propositions for a date in over a month now.

Let's start with the good news. By some weird and strange coincidence I am still talking with and still have a thing for the Harvard Gaymer. We haven't gone on a date in over a month and I still feel inclined to text him or gChat him regularly and it always brings a smile to my face when I realize I got a text from him. I know this is stupid and sappy and definitely not the reason most people read this blog, but its the truth. I was going to try and phase him out throughout the summer because he was a virgin and so much younger than me but all of my friends have convinced me of what a bad idea that would be. I guess they are right to when it come down to it. This is the first guy in a long time that is low maintenance, into me, smart, funny, and that I am actually into on some level. So I guess the old motto, If It Ain't Broke Don't Fix It sort of applies although I guess it should be switched around a little to be more apropos, If It Ain't Broke Don't Fuck It Up. And thus ends the good news....

Onto the almost newsworthy updates....I've heard from two guys that I have been on dates with in the past within the past 3 weeks. Like the title says when it rains it pours....

The first guy to randomly message me out of the blue was Mereb...For whatever reason this motherfucker keeps just popping up back in my life. He Facebook messaged me a few weeks ago just asking me how I was doing. I responded very cordially. A brief and curt conversation began and he intimated that he wanted to get together for coffee or drinks to catch up. Being the asshole that I am and remembering full well that this was the guy who was going to FIX me I responded, "I thought that was what we were doing." After a few more knife twists in the conversation Mereb finally took a hint.

Here is what I really don't understand. You stopped dating me because you found the best boyfriend ever. He broke up with you and you immediately Facebook messaged me. In the course of that conversation you told me that you were planning on leaving the city in about a month or two. The last time you spoke to me before this you attempted to booty call me and then told me you were going to fix me. WHY on EARTH would I assume you were looking for anything other than to get your dick wet? Also if I rejected you as a booty call the last time what makes you think that I would change my mind. Do I come across as that desperate? I didn't think so, but who knows.

The next former guy that showed up literally out of the blue was KFlip. The weekend of Boston Pride I got a text message asking me out again and apologizing for not being in touch in so long. If I am being honest I was almost giddy when I heard from KFlip. He was such a good guy, cute, nice, had a good job, intelligent, his biggest flaw was that he wasn't out and wasn't comfortable really dating a guy. I honestly thought that after a few months he had worked on coming out and was finally ready to date someone for real. I was super excited.

We made plans to meet the Saturday night of Pride weekend to go out for drinks at a club. Around 10 o'clock I was still at work so I called to cancel/reschedule. He was more than happy to put it off until the Sunday. So we planned to do brunch and then the Back Bay block party. I thought that it would be a really cute date. We originally headed over to Thornton's which was closed, and then we went over to the Trident Cafe where the wait was WICKED long. Finally he suggested we go to CafeTeria, a really gay/shi shi brunch place on Newbury St. We ordered and split a jug of Bloody Marys and everything was going well. We were laughing there was some subtle arm touching and flirting. Then the check came and he insisted on paying. I sneaked a peak at the bill around fifty bucks so I thought, "Just as I remembered a gentleman. Nice! Score!" Then while the card was being run I asked about how else his life was going....

"Oh well I have a boyfriend now." It was like the scene in Jane Eyre when the tree is struck by lightning and starts bursting into flames.

 Seriously??? Then the best part was he followed that up with...."He isn't out either so it works out really well. And I've been faithful." WHAT THE FUCK??!?! You just paid for another guys expensive brunch, and are planning on going to a gay block party with him.

It was at this point that I turned into the bitter asshole that most people know me as. "Oh that's funny. Does he look as gay as you though because its not like he is that in the closet then?" I knew full well this was like pulling the cornerstone out of an archway and I was about to watch this man crumble in front of me but I couldn't help myself. What dickhead asks someone out on a date and halfway through insists its not a date? Really? REALLY? Then I spent the next half an hour explaining to KFlip how any homo with a halfway decent gaydar would spot him in a second and now in another second that he was a dick hungry bottom. I know I'm an asshole, but I really just couldn't help myself.

We went to the block party and he spent maybe a total of 45 minutes waiting for it to fill up....we were there pretty early.....and then he took off as soon as more than 25 people were in the vicinity. I didn't leave. Instead I just sat on the curb and drank and watched the festivities. I gave off a fuck off vibe to so no one even came near me. I called my lesbians to come but they were busy so eventually I just left, happy with the buzz I had gotten mid-afternoon.

I think that is pretty much it for now. I'm going to continue to talk to the Harvard Gaymer and then see what else happens this summer. I should be going to PTown for the week of the Fourth of July for work so who knows maybe I will fall madly in love with a stranger I meet down there. Maybe I won't meet a single person....maybe I'll meet a few (probably not since its a work trip but a boy can hope right).

Well until next time....
Chau!!

Once a Gay Starter Kit Always a Gay Starter Kit....

I went on another date with the Harvard Gaymer last Thursday. It was actually super cute! We went to Davis Square to the old theater there to see a movie at like 4 in the afternoon. The tickets were cheap and the popcorn was covered in butter and the theater is just awesome, old and pretty.

So we decided to go and see Evil Dead. We were literally the only two people in the ENTIRE theater. So naturally we sat right in the middle with our feet up. He wrapped his arm around me in a very 80's Rom Com sort of a move and then just pulled me in to be lying with him as the movie progressed. It was really sweet. Naturally it made me a little uncomfortable to be this relationshippy so I kissed him. And then I kept kissing him. And then I continued to kiss him. And before I knew it we were making out while the Evil Dead was unfolding in the background. 

After a little while hands began to wander and so did other parts of our body. Rather than go into too much detail, let me just say that it was probably a really good thing that we were the only people in the movie theater. Let me also say that for the second time in my life I had now both given and received blowjobs while some sort of horror film or TV show was going on in the background. Its really like Halloween is my spirit sex animal or something. I digress, after a few minutes of really inappropriate action in a movie theater I realized what was happening and insisted it stop. We went back to just sitting intimately close to each other, or as intimately close as one can get with a giant arm rest and cup holder in between two people.

The movie proceeded without any further action between the two of us and quite frankly without much action in the film either. The movie sort of sucked....which was okay because so did the Gaymer, but I would not recommend spending my money to go and see it.

After the movie we ended up just walking and chatting in the rain around Davis Square. Again it was very cute and very much like a relationship. He held an umbrella and insisted I walk under it. We grabbed some coffee and just chatted about our lives. 

During our talk he began telling me about his summer plans. He also informed me that he finally came out to his sister. Now this is a big deal for a couple reasons. One, when I first went on a date with the Harvard Gaymer he was pretty insistent that he was bisexual. Two, Harvard Gaymer is originally from outside of Atlanta and is black. Both of these things are fascinating to me because before he met me he didn't intend to do any of these things. So it appears that once again I am helping someone find themselves and slowly but surely become more comfortable with their sexuality. 

GREAT!! AWESOME!! FUCKING BRILLIANT!!!

I know that all seems a bit much, but it really is becoming ridiculous. I think its great that I make people feel comfortable. I think its amazing that I can help people in this way. BUT, every once in a while I would love to go on a date with a guy who was just gay and okay with it already. Someone who was out and was going to go home and tell their mother about the nice date they had with a guy. Maybe my head is just too far in the clouds on this one. Maybe I am just ahead of the curve in terms of being out and okay with it and looking for a relationship with guys my own age. Maybe the solution is to date someone older....although that hasn't really worked out in the past either. I wish there was just some magical place that all of the out normal gay people hung out at so that I could flirt with someone who had been on a date with a man before in their life. 

Back to the date though. So waiting for the bus all of the information about his summer plans come out and I listen contentedly. He never directly mentions talking to me throughout the summer, but the way he is talking I can tell that it is definitely implied. 

We took the bus back to Harvard where I was once again invited up to his room and I of course accepted my invitation. We started making out and the roommate who is clearly in love with him walked in and just sort of storm passed us.....OoOOOOoooOOoops....

Then we began to play a silly little game. I honestly think it is one of those games that is just a fun way to get stuff going. I want you to...One person finishes that sentence and then after the task is completed the next person makes the statement with their own ending. And it goes back and forth until you completely forget that there is a game involved at all. I prefaced this game with "Now given the fact that you're a virgin....you can't say have sex....we are NOT having sex." He didn't seem totally bothered by me saying this but he didn't really seem relieved either. 

**************************************NSFW**************************************

The game started with some pretty simple foreplay lick my nipple, suck my finger, and take off your pants. Then it led to a little bit more heavy petting and some oral action. And then it went somewhere I was not really expecting at all. He said, "I want to tie you up and blindfold you." I thought about it for a moment. I think I actually laughed and he looked at me dead in the yes and said, "No I'm serious" Laughing the whole time I consented and ended up having to show him how to use his scarf to tie my arms to the bed post. I easily could have shimmied out if I wanted to but I thought that I might as well let him have his fun. He played with me and himself while I was blindfolded and when he finally took the blindfold off he had a raging erection. 

Given the turn in nature that the game had taken I decided to give him a taste of his own medicine. As soon as the blindfold went over his eyes he began oozing precum like a faucet. The Harvard Gaymer has a secret kinky side and I can't say that I totally hate it. He looked damn good tied to his bed. His abs have gotten considerably more defined in the weeks since our last date and his cock was so hard that it was just a pretty sight. After teasing him for a bit he decided that he wanted to tie me up again. I obliged. This time though he whispered in my ear that he would be back...the guy left me tied to his bed while he went to pee and come back. I've got to tell you for a minute I was a little worried and contemplated pulling my hand out of the scarves and just laying their untied, but I realized that this must be some sort of fantasy for him so I just chilled. He covered me with his blanket when he left and when he came back and uncovered me I could tell he was REALLY turned on by the thought that I had just been waiting for him in his room tied up. 

Then after another 15 minutes or so he wanted to be tied up again and I was definitely into it so we switched roles. This time I took it to the next level though and tied his legs, arms, and blindfolded him. He was dripping without me even having to touch him. Then after a few minutes of teasing he told me that he wanted me to ejaculate on his penis. At this point I literally thought, "Well, what the fuck...might as well....we've come this far already." So I obliged and shot a pretty decent load if I do say so myself and the kid just started jacking himself off with it. I removed the blindfold and his arm ties so that he could and he just kept working away at it. After a while I think he just gave up on cumming right then and there and decided to just get dressed and walk me to the bus so I could go home. It was funny he didn't even wipe my cum off of him. Most of it he had rubbed into his dick and the rest had dried, white crusty stains on his brown skin. It was sort of hot. BUT Anyway.....

***************************************SFW**************************************

Once we were both dressed we started walking toward the bus stop. He threw his arm around me and pulled me in close to his body and insisted that we walk that way to the bus stop. It was nice. I really think he liked the idea of having a guy. As he was pulling me into himself he was waving at people who were walking by that he knew. It was nice to see that he was sort of coming into his own as a guy who could be on a date with another guy. As we approached the bus stop I watched as the last bus of the night sped past me without even stopping. It was at that point that he accompanied me back to CVS to grab some late night snacks before I hailed a cab and headed home. 

While we were in CVS amongst all of the drunk Harvard students enjoying one of their last reading days before their finals began he started to ask about when we would talk again. I told him soon and he seemed happy with that and then I think it dawned on him that he was going to be leaving for the summer. So I told him that is why they invented skype and I would definitely keep talking to him if he was definitely interested. 

There is something about him that I really like. He is nice and kind and smart. He is wicked smart and one of the few guys I have ever dated who can actually give me a true run for my money in terms of intelligence which I really like. He can go pun for pun and understand jokes about Calvinism and binary and I just haven't found that yet. HOWEVER, I think that we may just end up being friend who occasionally fool around. When we were on the date even though it was super cute I just kept thinking that he was more into me than I was into him. And then I would feel bad. Its not that I don't like him, its just that it takes me a long time to get to the point where I really like someone a lot. 

The other thing is that there is something just a little off about the sexual chemistry. Harvard Gaymer insists that he will be a top, but I am almost certain he is a bottom. His body language, demeanor, and personality all denote someone who is more of a bossy bottom. At one point I wanted to start singing...

He almost got offended when I said it but once I explain why I think he agreed to. And believe me there is nothing wrong with being a bottom, the problem for me is that I need someone who truly is okay with switching or is such a top or such a bottom that I would never want to switch. 

As of right now the Harvard Gaymer and I are still texting. We are still playing Words with Friends too actually. I guess we shall see where the summer takes this, but until I get a definitive gut feeling about him one way or another I'm not going to limit my dating options. 

We shall see.....

Chau!!!

The Harvard Gaymer

Well I am back at it.....I went on a date on Wednesday night with another guy I met off the online dating website. I am determined to find one normal person who I can date regularly.....

Let me begin by describing the guy: Physically he is about 6 feet tall, black, a little bit of scruff, huge hands and really long arms. He is also super smart. He goes to Harvard and is a math and computer science major which is pretty cool, different than me which I always appreciate. He is originally from Atlanta and is actually quite the catch I think. Some other lets not say issues, but complications, he is wicked into gaming (like video and computer games) and he like oh-so-many of the guys I've dated before is not out to his family. Not a huge issue since he is out in Boston and all of his friends at school know he's gay/bi.

Now for details about the date. For the record I'm calling this guy the Harvard Gaymer because he goes to Harvard and is so into the gaming...I think its appropriate.

So where do I begin. When we were trying to figure out when we could meet we ultimately decided that we could get together Wednesday despite my 12 hour long shift working because he would come and meet me in the city so I wouldn't have to head into Cambridge. The fact that he was willing to come and meet me won him major points. Then we settled on coffee at the Starbucks on the corner of Mass Ave and Boylston. I thought this would be perfect because it was walking distance for me and he could just hop on the 1 bus.

What I didn't take into account was that this guy went to Harvard....so super smart, but little to no common sense. About 10 minutes after he was supposed to meet me I decided to text him and figure out where he was. Apparently the green line was running late......Yes that's right this Harvard Gaymer had decided to take the Red Line and then the Green line to a place that was literally right off of the 1 Bus. It was at that point that I decided I would just meet him and we could walk some place closer.....and then just when I thought the directional skills couldn't get any worse....he told me, "Yea I just got off at Copley." Priceless, I know, but I didn't want to judge him to prematurely.

When I finally found him we grabbed coffee and headed back to Northeastern to see one of my friends perform in her acapella group, Pitch, Please! (you can check out videos of them there). I thought it would be a fun first date type of activity and I had already promised my friend I would go. We ended up sitting on the ground and listening for the entire set and then we left.

I could tell that he wanted an invite back to my place, which I was definitely wary of giving. I wasn't wary because I thought I might do something I would regret, but I was just worried about having to show off my atrocious room to someone who I had a good first date with so far. I split the difference and ended up inviting him up to the 16th floor common room of my building so he could check out a real view of the city. We ended up sitting right next to each other on an oversized chair and before I knew it we were kissing.

Great kisser! Just the right amount of playful and aggressive. After making out for probably five minutes we just continue to sit in the chair and talk withn his arms wrapped around me.....it was at this point I realized how big his hands were. I'm not saying this as an innuendo for his dick by the way. I'm talking about this guy's actual hands...they were huge and dwarfed mine in comparison. It was nice to have someone wrap there arms around me and just hold me with such big arms and hands for a change...that hasn't happened for a very long time and I definitely was not unhappy about it happening then.

During the conversations between making out I actually learned a lot about him. The two most important things: 1. He is a virgin for all intents and purposes and 2. He is a HUGE nerd. Most of you are probably judging me and saying that you just assumed these things by the fact that he is a black computer science major at Harvard, but I hold out hope folks....what can I say.... Ways I learned this information....welll he flat out told me the only time he ever had anal sex it lasted for three seconds and then he changed his mind. And then he made an error bars joke while kissing....that's right he made a math joke about kissing what a dweeb....and yet how endearing.....

Eventually after an hour or so of making out and just talking I realized where this night was going and insisted that he go home and not spend the night. I like him, for now at least, and I definitely don't want him to get the wrong impression. So I walked him first to grab something to eat and then to the 1 bus so he could get home.

On the walk to the bus I learned something about him that definitely piques my interest....he is a self-professed former fatty. Those of you who know me know that I have a theory that hasn't been wrong yet. Former fatties and former acne laden teenagers are usually the best in bed. They all are now attractive, but still have the I-Need-To-Make-Up-For-My-Looks-Self-Esteem which makes them a rock star in bed. There is nothing I love hearing more when talking to a really attractive guy that they used to get made fun of in middle school....some people may say....awww and feel bad, but in my head all I can think is JACKPOT!!

But I digress, he got on the bus and I walked home. We've been texting off and on all week and I actually have another date with him tonight, this time on his turf. So I guess I should head home so I can get ready to head out to Cambridge. Wish me luck!

Until next time....

Chau!!

Off to a Great Start...

Last time I posted on here I had been out on two dates with KFlip....I am sad to report that since the second date I have not been out with KFlip again. It sort of sucks. He had his life together. He was employed. He had his own very nice place. He was normal, but not boring. He was attractive. But I definitely think that second date scared him off. I mean we have texted back and forth a little but the reality is...I have that feeling that I am never going to see him again, which just sort of sucks. He definitely was great potential boyfriend material. I mean the worst thing about him was the fact that he wasn't really out

To be honest though I think that was probably why he started getting weird after our second date. I think he saw the potential I did between us and I really don't think he was ready for anything serious yet. I mean I was his first real date with a guy for God's sake. To be expected....My curse as a Gay-Starter Kit continues. I'll keep his number in my phone, but I think I am probably done putting the effort into the whole thing.

In the midst of trying to figure out whether or not I was ever going to see KFlip again I was asked out by someone who on paper should be perfect for me. I think I am going to call this guy Hickey. 

So Hickey is a fairly tall, skinny, black guy from Guyana.

For my geographically challenged friends....here is a map...It is a real place and its right there----->




Now that we have established where Hickey is from I should probably tell you a little bit more about him. He is 22 and is a medical assistant for a local healthcare agency. He is totally understanding of me being busy. He is nice. He is attractive. He is really nice and cute. And he is out....as of December.....Hey its a step in the right direction for me!!

Our first date was a typical kind of first date for me. We went for coffee when he got out of work. And once again someone said yes to getting coffee on a first date despite not really liking coffee. Why do people do this? I mean I LOVE coffee so I can't imagine being asked out for coffee and that being a problem. However, if someone asks you out on a date where you have no interest in doing the date activity why would you say yes?? I just don't understand that. I mean if someone asked me on a gym date, I would absolutely offer a different idea I wouldn't just say yes no matter what the activity was. Maybe that is just me....maybe I am bitchier than I thought. 

I digress....so Hickey.... The first date ended rather nicely. We went up to the 16th floor of my dorm so he could get a view of the city and we sat and made out for a few minutes. Really the only problem with the first date was that fact that he mentioned his ex-boyfriend. That's not by any means a deal breaker for me, but I have come to find that anyone who mentions their ex on a first date probably has some issues from their previous relationship that will make it impossible for me to ever truly date them.

After our first date Hickey and I set up a time on Saturday to go see a movie. Now its important to know that I worked the overnight shift on Friday night so I thought a movie might be an easy second date because if you fall asleep during a movie you can pretty much lie your way out of that right? 

Well we were going to meet at the theater at 1:15 to catch a 1:30 movie....So I dragged my ass out of bed, despite only having had 5 hours of sleep and schlepped over to the movies. Then when I was standing outside of the theater in the freezing cold for almost 20 minutes I decided to text Hickey and find out what the fuck was going on. Turns out he got completely side tracked doing some errands and was running late....Cut to me still standing outside of the movie theater at 2:00 in the middle of winter on a busy Boston street. Needless to say I wasn't thrilled with the prospect of this date, but I did end up being pleasantly surprised. 

By the time Hickey ended up showing up I was sort of over the idea of seeing a movie and suggested we just grab lunch because I was starving and cold. Hickey of course apologized the whole way to the restaurant. We ended up going to the Beantown Pub, which is actually the place WASCJ....remember him??? Brought me for the date before I never heard from him again. After a really nice meal, I got breakfast and he got Fried chicken....I wish I could make that up....yes he is that black, we headed out and got coffee at one of my favorite date coffee places, The Thinking Cup. We then took our coffee and headed back to my place. He only mentioned his ex once the whole time actually which I took to be a good sign...although it was in reference to his ex possibly stalking his place of work now....Red flag, Maybe? Eh...Fuck it...

This date ended up going and going and going until probably 9:00 that same night. We spent hours just fooling around in my room. I had such a good time. I haven't done that in so long....no sex just good old fashioned fooling around. He was really skinny, but had a very defined body. A nice sized uncut dick which is something I haven't had in a while. He was so dirty too! Such a nice change of pace from the people I have dated the past couple months. I mean he was definitely a bottom by nature but he had the ability to man up and be aggressive, which was nice. 

In terms of actual stuff that we did though...this boy was just filthy and he loved every second of it...which is always such a turn on for me. I mean, even if you're not dirty....if you can at least talk like you are you are already half way to getting me off, if truth be told. When we both finally finished it was quite the.....well lets just say I definitely had to wash my bed sheets afterwards. 

I'm sure you are all wondering based on what I just told you how this guy got the name Hickey....well here goes nothing. Probably two hours into hooking up Hickey stopped me and started asking me all sorts of questions about my intentions. I immediately responded that I had no intention of fucking him as we had only been on two dates..I almost immediately realized I had missed the point of the question. He wasn't talking about in the immediate future he meant....were we going to be in a relationship. 

I gave him the, "I'm really a commitment-phobe" speech without hesitation. He then asked if I was dating anyone else. And since I can never lie, even when it would probably spare someone's feelings getting hurt, I told him about KFlip. I could tell just from the look on his face that he was NOT happy. He acted as if I was cheating on him which is completely absurd since we were on our second date. After a few minutes I think he realized just how absurd it was and then it happened. He pinned me to my bed and started making out with me...Hot right? He then went for my neck and just started sucking and biting like he thought he was a vampire. I wasn't even a little worried about a hickey. I have literally never gotten one in my entire life...until then....I got cocky and got paid back almost immediately. After 5 minutes or so of some pretty intense neck biting or sucking....he pulled his mouth up...just like a vampire from True Blood when they are done feeding and looked at his handiwork. Then he looked and me and said, "Let the Filipino guy see that"

It was in that moment I knew this was never going to last. What a jealous fuck? I mean we have been on two dates and you are already trying to mark me as your territory. No matter how attractive I might find that kind of personal possessiveness I am definitely not feeling it after two dates. 

As it stand right now....Hickey and I are still speaking via text. I think he is a really good guy, but there are a few issues. Most importantly I think he is very recently out....which is probably why he is so jealous....and so into talking about where we are going in the future....and continues to talk about his first real boyfriend on every date we go on...

I guess there really is no telling what Valentine's month has in store for me....Maybe I will go out with KFlip again....Maybe I will go out with Hickey again....Maybe I will meet the love of my life on the T....who knows??

Chau!!

OY VEY!

I'm not Jewish, but I think that would probably describe my life the past couple of days.

So the guy I invited over ended up needing more of a psychiatric session than I did. It turned into a very deep conversation and discussion about what it means to be gay and open about that for some people. How you deal with it and tell your parents? How you can be gay and not a self-destructive slut. Lots of different things were talked about. Suffice it to say I will no longer be calling him for nights of fun, but he definitely has my number so that in case things turn out to be overwhelming for him he has someone to talk to. 

This always seems to happen to me. I take a perfectly screwed up wonderful thing that I might have and pick at it. I just pick at it and pick at it relentlessly until I figure out what the underlying fucked-upness of the situation really is. Then I have a crying basket case on my hands and I end up playing nurse. So after probably 5 hours of we'll call it therapeutic communication with this guy I sent him on his way and began planning something for the next night that I would enjoy and would take my mind off the craziness that I tend to get myself into with guys.

Last night I put my plan into action. There is this guy I have had a little crush on for over a year now. He is completely the opposite of what my type would normally be. He is short, white, sort of dorky, into video games, but for some reason I still have this little crush on him and I can't help it. So last night we actually went out together with a few of his friends. We all ended up dancing, which he can't do.....I mean seriously he dances like the whitest kid you know. He got pretty drunk and started flirting and dancing with me pretty aggressively. Which I loved! I'm not going to lie it was nice to have someone that I had a crush on for once express some kind of interest in me. 

Of course we were at a gay club and we got a lot of attention from people. One of the guys who came with us was my crush's, let's call him Tiny, former fuck buddy. Which was awkward because I was trying to flirt with Tiny and the whole time his friend kept getting in on the action.Then throughout the night a couple of other randos came up and started dancing on me to and because I am me I continued dancing back but always ended up dancing with Tiny again. Then around 1 or so Tiny and his hag went missing. 

I really didn't even think about it until they still weren't back 20 minutes later. I then went looking for them and found them in what appeared to be a very serious conversation. I was ushered away from it and told that it was about boys. Then after their pow-wow was over with we decided we would leave. Now here is the thing. I totally thought Tiny was going to come home with me. He had been so into me and I definitely had a crush on him and was into him too. His hag kept telling me outside the club that I was cute and that I definitely had to go out with them again, but then nothing. Seriously he didn't come home with me and it was like a lot of the flirty stuff that had happened in the club was just no longer existent. 

I decided I was going to walk home in the sleet and they, Tiny and his hag and his other friends, all got in a cab to head home. It just sort of sucked. I still can't figure it out. I walked home with the cold sleet pounding my face and body and the entire time all I could think about is what I had done wrong. I guess maybe I misread some signals. Maybe it wasn't all I thought it was cracked up to be. 

Maybe I should have just gone home with the bartender or the guy in suspenders who kept looking at me. Its a lot of maybes, so I guess I am in the same boat I was in before. Alone, again, and just waiting for someone to turn this commitment phobe into a serial monogamist....I'm beginning to think that might be a little far fetched but whatever, a boy can dream can't he.