Going into the year 2014...this little dating blog has almost 2,000 views....I wonder how many of them have been my mother pretending not to read???? HMMMmmmMMMMMmmm...It doesn't matter really...this is more for me anyways. Although wouldn't that be a kicker. I mean for your mother to find your sex and dating blog once is bad, but to find it twice...that would just be fucking ridiculous.
I should get back to the point though. I think I need to look at things differently in the year coming up in terms of my dating life. I have been focused on trying to kiss as many frogs as I can. I have some weird Disney version of love where once a person has gotten through their predetermined number of frogs their ethnically ambiguous prince will simply fall right into their lap. Part of me still thinks this is true. Not the kissing a bunch of frogs part, but the Prince Charming eventually just showing up in your life out of nowhere part. Or maybe I don't think its true so much as I really HOPE that it's true.
I went out the other night after I passed a really big certification test. I went alone to a gay club because I wanted to dance. I had no ulterior motive. I didn't want to get laid, I didn't want to kiss a boy, I really didn't even want to have to go out with my friends, I just wanted to dance. So I did. I got to the club, grabbed a drink, and found two random straight girls to dance with for most of the night.
Per usual I knew a lot of the guys in the club because I had tested them before, and they all gave me oddly familiar looks. A few (4 or 5) men approached me and inquired as to how much. Again, this is unfortunately typical part of going out to a gay club for me. I think it's something about being fresh meat and usually going with a straight girl or meeting other people there. After the straight girls left I did end up dancing with a guy (cute, black, and from Paris), we even made out, but at around 1am I decided it was time to go. I simply left the dance floor, paid my tab, and then took a cab home. I grabbed some shitty Chinese food, walked the rest of the way home, and watched some crappy late night TV as I clogged my arteries.
In all honesty, it was one of the BEST nights out I have had in a long time. I went to a gay club and there was no pressure. I watched all of the craziness around me and could just dance without having to worry about some closeted straight boy trying to hit on me. I can handle the people who think I'm a prostitute at this point (to be honest it's almost flattering if you think about it the right way).
This is going to be my approach to the new year. I am going to allow myself to go to the gay bars and clubs. Even if that means going to them alone. I go out a bit with my friends who are all straight and I like it, but sometimes its nice to know that there are other out gay people in the city of Boston.
I'm not going to get rid of my OKC profile, but I am going to go back to basics. No messaging anyone first. Keeping everything online and messaging until the other person grows the balls to actually ask me on a date. And I am going to have no expectations for the first date, only for those thereafter. I will have certain things that will be disqualifiers for a second date, like being out or actually being interesting.
And with that it is officially December 31st....only 23 more hours of the year 2013 and I am as single as the day that it started (moreso actually). Maybe 2014 is the year....maybe not....I guess only time will tell.....
Chau!!
Showing posts with label gay guys. Show all posts
Showing posts with label gay guys. Show all posts
Monday, December 30, 2013
Monday, September 30, 2013
Christening the Shower
This post is a little late in coming but better late than never I guess right?
The day after my date with the Harvard Gaymer that solidified for me that it was not really going to work out the way I had envisioned it I decided to give Hickey a call. I mean for all intents and purposes we are still fuck buddies now that he has relented that he was a little crazy in the Panera incident. Much to my surprise he responded almost immediately to my text message and was up to come over that day. For those of you not following the timeline let me lay it out nice and simple for you. I went on a date with the Harvard Gaymer, he came home with me, spent the night, left, I texted Hickey, and he came over so we could fuck that afternoon.
Normally I would be very judgmental of someone who did this because after all....what the Hell you basically traded one guy in your bed for another....except for the fact that I never came with the Harvard Gaymer so I don't really think he counts because there was nothing satisfying sexually about that sleep over.
The sex with Hickey was once again absolutely PHENOMENAL! I've got to say there is definitely something to that old thought process that crazy people have the best sex. I think its something about the lack of inhibitions that crazy people naturally have that makes them inclined to be sexual savants.
I don't even know that the sex between Hickey and me is that out-of-this-world to be honest. I think our sexual chemistry for whatever reason just clicks. The times when he just wants to be thrown around and fucked hard I'm in the mood to pick him up and throw him on the bed and have my way with him. The times when I feel like I need good lay he is there with that enormous dick just waiting to have at it. I'm not complaining I just think it is one of those really unique situations.
The best part about the sex with Hickey was HANDS-DOWN....the fact that I was able to christen my new shower. The shower has four separate shower heads on the wall and a sort of rain down spout on the ceiling. It's an awesome shower and is one of the many reasons that my current residence is so amazing. Having sex while being pelted in lots of different directions with hot water is an experience that everyone should have. Its fun, hot, and just really relaxing. I will admit that despite the amazing sex I did find myself thinking....I could definitely someone simply because they had an awesome shower or bathtub. I still haven't decided how normal that thought process really is. I mean if I was bottoming sure there is normally a lot of time to think things over in your head if you banging someone boring, but if you're topping someone who is a total freak you have to have your wits about you and there I was contemplating how nice someone's shower would have to be for me to fuck them for that factor alone. My conclusion: For me to fuck someone based solely on their bathtub or shower it would have to be very similar to the Playboy Mansion Grotto....Yes I know that makes me seem like a total Gold Digger....and NO I do NOT care.
After the wonderful afternoon of sex, Hickey and I grabbed coffee and I brought him back home. Before dropping him off I found myself running through all of the scenarios in my head. Is there anyway I could start dating this guy again? Is there anyway that I could turn this into a short term dating situation? Could this become more of a Friends with Benefits thing and less of a Fuck Buddy thing? But as I stopped my car, once again, two or three houses down on his street to make sure his uber Guyanese father did not see him getting out of my car it dawned on me...I made the right choice, a Fair Life Choice if you will.
I actually have another update about my dating life but I am going to make it a separate post completely just so nothing gets confused.
So I guess that is it for this one...
Until the next post...
Chau!!
The day after my date with the Harvard Gaymer that solidified for me that it was not really going to work out the way I had envisioned it I decided to give Hickey a call. I mean for all intents and purposes we are still fuck buddies now that he has relented that he was a little crazy in the Panera incident. Much to my surprise he responded almost immediately to my text message and was up to come over that day. For those of you not following the timeline let me lay it out nice and simple for you. I went on a date with the Harvard Gaymer, he came home with me, spent the night, left, I texted Hickey, and he came over so we could fuck that afternoon.
Normally I would be very judgmental of someone who did this because after all....what the Hell you basically traded one guy in your bed for another....except for the fact that I never came with the Harvard Gaymer so I don't really think he counts because there was nothing satisfying sexually about that sleep over.
The sex with Hickey was once again absolutely PHENOMENAL! I've got to say there is definitely something to that old thought process that crazy people have the best sex. I think its something about the lack of inhibitions that crazy people naturally have that makes them inclined to be sexual savants.
I don't even know that the sex between Hickey and me is that out-of-this-world to be honest. I think our sexual chemistry for whatever reason just clicks. The times when he just wants to be thrown around and fucked hard I'm in the mood to pick him up and throw him on the bed and have my way with him. The times when I feel like I need good lay he is there with that enormous dick just waiting to have at it. I'm not complaining I just think it is one of those really unique situations.
The best part about the sex with Hickey was HANDS-DOWN....the fact that I was able to christen my new shower. The shower has four separate shower heads on the wall and a sort of rain down spout on the ceiling. It's an awesome shower and is one of the many reasons that my current residence is so amazing. Having sex while being pelted in lots of different directions with hot water is an experience that everyone should have. Its fun, hot, and just really relaxing. I will admit that despite the amazing sex I did find myself thinking....I could definitely someone simply because they had an awesome shower or bathtub. I still haven't decided how normal that thought process really is. I mean if I was bottoming sure there is normally a lot of time to think things over in your head if you banging someone boring, but if you're topping someone who is a total freak you have to have your wits about you and there I was contemplating how nice someone's shower would have to be for me to fuck them for that factor alone. My conclusion: For me to fuck someone based solely on their bathtub or shower it would have to be very similar to the Playboy Mansion Grotto....Yes I know that makes me seem like a total Gold Digger....and NO I do NOT care.
After the wonderful afternoon of sex, Hickey and I grabbed coffee and I brought him back home. Before dropping him off I found myself running through all of the scenarios in my head. Is there anyway I could start dating this guy again? Is there anyway that I could turn this into a short term dating situation? Could this become more of a Friends with Benefits thing and less of a Fuck Buddy thing? But as I stopped my car, once again, two or three houses down on his street to make sure his uber Guyanese father did not see him getting out of my car it dawned on me...I made the right choice, a Fair Life Choice if you will.
I actually have another update about my dating life but I am going to make it a separate post completely just so nothing gets confused.
So I guess that is it for this one...
Until the next post...
Chau!!
Sunday, April 7, 2013
The Harvard Gaymer
Well I am back at it.....I went on a date on Wednesday night with another guy I met off the online dating website. I am determined to find one normal person who I can date regularly.....
Let me begin by describing the guy: Physically he is about 6 feet tall, black, a little bit of scruff, huge hands and really long arms. He is also super smart. He goes to Harvard and is a math and computer science major which is pretty cool, different than me which I always appreciate. He is originally from Atlanta and is actually quite the catch I think. Some other lets not say issues, but complications, he is wicked into gaming (like video and computer games) and he like oh-so-many of the guys I've dated before is not out to his family. Not a huge issue since he is out in Boston and all of his friends at school know he's gay/bi.
Now for details about the date. For the record I'm calling this guy the Harvard Gaymer because he goes to Harvard and is so into the gaming...I think its appropriate.
So where do I begin. When we were trying to figure out when we could meet we ultimately decided that we could get together Wednesday despite my 12 hour long shift working because he would come and meet me in the city so I wouldn't have to head into Cambridge. The fact that he was willing to come and meet me won him major points. Then we settled on coffee at the Starbucks on the corner of Mass Ave and Boylston. I thought this would be perfect because it was walking distance for me and he could just hop on the 1 bus.
What I didn't take into account was that this guy went to Harvard....so super smart, but little to no common sense. About 10 minutes after he was supposed to meet me I decided to text him and figure out where he was. Apparently the green line was running late......Yes that's right this Harvard Gaymer had decided to take the Red Line and then the Green line to a place that was literally right off of the 1 Bus. It was at that point that I decided I would just meet him and we could walk some place closer.....and then just when I thought the directional skills couldn't get any worse....he told me, "Yea I just got off at Copley." Priceless, I know, but I didn't want to judge him to prematurely.
When I finally found him we grabbed coffee and headed back to Northeastern to see one of my friends perform in her acapella group, Pitch, Please! (you can check out videos of them there). I thought it would be a fun first date type of activity and I had already promised my friend I would go. We ended up sitting on the ground and listening for the entire set and then we left.
I could tell that he wanted an invite back to my place, which I was definitely wary of giving. I wasn't wary because I thought I might do something I would regret, but I was just worried about having to show off my atrocious room to someone who I had a good first date with so far. I split the difference and ended up inviting him up to the 16th floor common room of my building so he could check out a real view of the city. We ended up sitting right next to each other on an oversized chair and before I knew it we were kissing.
Great kisser! Just the right amount of playful and aggressive. After making out for probably five minutes we just continue to sit in the chair and talk withn his arms wrapped around me.....it was at this point I realized how big his hands were. I'm not saying this as an innuendo for his dick by the way. I'm talking about this guy's actual hands...they were huge and dwarfed mine in comparison. It was nice to have someone wrap there arms around me and just hold me with such big arms and hands for a change...that hasn't happened for a very long time and I definitely was not unhappy about it happening then.
During the conversations between making out I actually learned a lot about him. The two most important things: 1. He is a virgin for all intents and purposes and 2. He is a HUGE nerd. Most of you are probably judging me and saying that you just assumed these things by the fact that he is a black computer science major at Harvard, but I hold out hope folks....what can I say.... Ways I learned this information....welll he flat out told me the only time he ever had anal sex it lasted for three seconds and then he changed his mind. And then he made an error bars joke while kissing....that's right he made a math joke about kissing what a dweeb....and yet how endearing.....
Eventually after an hour or so of making out and just talking I realized where this night was going and insisted that he go home and not spend the night. I like him, for now at least, and I definitely don't want him to get the wrong impression. So I walked him first to grab something to eat and then to the 1 bus so he could get home.
On the walk to the bus I learned something about him that definitely piques my interest....he is a self-professed former fatty. Those of you who know me know that I have a theory that hasn't been wrong yet. Former fatties and former acne laden teenagers are usually the best in bed. They all are now attractive, but still have the I-Need-To-Make-Up-For-My-Looks-Self-Esteem which makes them a rock star in bed. There is nothing I love hearing more when talking to a really attractive guy that they used to get made fun of in middle school....some people may say....awww and feel bad, but in my head all I can think is JACKPOT!!
But I digress, he got on the bus and I walked home. We've been texting off and on all week and I actually have another date with him tonight, this time on his turf. So I guess I should head home so I can get ready to head out to Cambridge. Wish me luck!
Until next time....
Chau!!
Let me begin by describing the guy: Physically he is about 6 feet tall, black, a little bit of scruff, huge hands and really long arms. He is also super smart. He goes to Harvard and is a math and computer science major which is pretty cool, different than me which I always appreciate. He is originally from Atlanta and is actually quite the catch I think. Some other lets not say issues, but complications, he is wicked into gaming (like video and computer games) and he like oh-so-many of the guys I've dated before is not out to his family. Not a huge issue since he is out in Boston and all of his friends at school know he's gay/bi.
Now for details about the date. For the record I'm calling this guy the Harvard Gaymer because he goes to Harvard and is so into the gaming...I think its appropriate.
So where do I begin. When we were trying to figure out when we could meet we ultimately decided that we could get together Wednesday despite my 12 hour long shift working because he would come and meet me in the city so I wouldn't have to head into Cambridge. The fact that he was willing to come and meet me won him major points. Then we settled on coffee at the Starbucks on the corner of Mass Ave and Boylston. I thought this would be perfect because it was walking distance for me and he could just hop on the 1 bus.
What I didn't take into account was that this guy went to Harvard....so super smart, but little to no common sense. About 10 minutes after he was supposed to meet me I decided to text him and figure out where he was. Apparently the green line was running late......Yes that's right this Harvard Gaymer had decided to take the Red Line and then the Green line to a place that was literally right off of the 1 Bus. It was at that point that I decided I would just meet him and we could walk some place closer.....and then just when I thought the directional skills couldn't get any worse....he told me, "Yea I just got off at Copley." Priceless, I know, but I didn't want to judge him to prematurely.
When I finally found him we grabbed coffee and headed back to Northeastern to see one of my friends perform in her acapella group, Pitch, Please! (you can check out videos of them there). I thought it would be a fun first date type of activity and I had already promised my friend I would go. We ended up sitting on the ground and listening for the entire set and then we left.
I could tell that he wanted an invite back to my place, which I was definitely wary of giving. I wasn't wary because I thought I might do something I would regret, but I was just worried about having to show off my atrocious room to someone who I had a good first date with so far. I split the difference and ended up inviting him up to the 16th floor common room of my building so he could check out a real view of the city. We ended up sitting right next to each other on an oversized chair and before I knew it we were kissing.
Great kisser! Just the right amount of playful and aggressive. After making out for probably five minutes we just continue to sit in the chair and talk withn his arms wrapped around me.....it was at this point I realized how big his hands were. I'm not saying this as an innuendo for his dick by the way. I'm talking about this guy's actual hands...they were huge and dwarfed mine in comparison. It was nice to have someone wrap there arms around me and just hold me with such big arms and hands for a change...that hasn't happened for a very long time and I definitely was not unhappy about it happening then.
During the conversations between making out I actually learned a lot about him. The two most important things: 1. He is a virgin for all intents and purposes and 2. He is a HUGE nerd. Most of you are probably judging me and saying that you just assumed these things by the fact that he is a black computer science major at Harvard, but I hold out hope folks....what can I say.... Ways I learned this information....welll he flat out told me the only time he ever had anal sex it lasted for three seconds and then he changed his mind. And then he made an error bars joke while kissing....that's right he made a math joke about kissing what a dweeb....and yet how endearing.....
Eventually after an hour or so of making out and just talking I realized where this night was going and insisted that he go home and not spend the night. I like him, for now at least, and I definitely don't want him to get the wrong impression. So I walked him first to grab something to eat and then to the 1 bus so he could get home.
On the walk to the bus I learned something about him that definitely piques my interest....he is a self-professed former fatty. Those of you who know me know that I have a theory that hasn't been wrong yet. Former fatties and former acne laden teenagers are usually the best in bed. They all are now attractive, but still have the I-Need-To-Make-Up-For-My-Looks-Self-Esteem which makes them a rock star in bed. There is nothing I love hearing more when talking to a really attractive guy that they used to get made fun of in middle school....some people may say....awww and feel bad, but in my head all I can think is JACKPOT!!
But I digress, he got on the bus and I walked home. We've been texting off and on all week and I actually have another date with him tonight, this time on his turf. So I guess I should head home so I can get ready to head out to Cambridge. Wish me luck!
Until next time....
Chau!!
Tuesday, March 5, 2013
Am I a CRAZY Magnet?
For those of you who have been following my blog for the last month or so you have already heard about Hickey. Those of you who are just tuning in....I suggest going back and reading the other two posts about him otherwise you will probably be very confused while you read this one.
I had a fourth date with Hickey yesterday and everything seemed to go as planned. We met up and this time we ended up getting smoothies and some food at Boloco, think a locally owned Qdoba. Its nice enough not what I would expect for a date but Hickey seemed to actually enjoy himself this time which was definitely a change of pace. I mean he still did the weird I'm going to stare at you in silence thing but it was less frequent, and he did talk a little bit this time and he actually ate something.
Not to get sidetracked, but I think this was this first time I have seen the guy eat in the four dates that we have had. He has a sick body don't get me wrong. The guy is skinny, but lately I have noticed throughout the course of our few dates he has bulked up some which is something I am definitely not going to complain about. Actually thinking back on it he ate on our second date but nothing extraordinary. If we're speaking frankly the guy, with his clothes on, looks like he could be in one of the Feed the Children commercials where they tell you that for less than the price of one cup of coffee you can feed a child for a day in some weird country you have never heard of in your life. It was nice to see him eat. Okay back to the main story...how shallow of me to get sidetracked about a guys weight and body type...you'd think I was gay or something...
After finishing eating we headed back to my room where he informed me we were definitely not going to be having sex....Ummm yea sure...
I realized when he said that that I definitely have a slight problem. I mean I can go a while without having sex with someone that I am dating, but once I have sex with you....GAME ON....I mean especially after only having had sex once.
So naturally we started going at it despite his insistence that we would definitely not be having sex that night. And as we were he asked if I wouldn't mind being a little bit rougher and a little more domineering. Now for those of you who are worried that this means I am going to turn this blog into some sort of gay version of the 50 Shades novels fear not...I put those books to shame. Let's be real don't unleash my inner sexual dominant side unless you are really ready to handle it. I read people pretty well so knowing exactly what buttons to push to get someone to be so filled with sexual desire they'd do anything is something that comes pretty naturally to me.
In the post-coital pillow talk we began talking more than we had the entire date so far, another thing that has become pretty typical with him and me. One of the first things I complimented him on his ability to control his texting me throughout the week. And in that conversation he asked once again about my dating life very indirectly and I informed him that I had been on a date since our last one with another guy. He did not take this very well....I had been so happy because I thought I had been wrong about him becoming a STAGE 12 CLINGER and then I got the reaction of a lifetime to what I thought was a seemingly innocuous answer to a pretty easy question. The guy literally clammed up and got pouty like a four year old who had been scolded for having one too many cookies. Then he got angry and said Well I thought that you weren't doing that anymore.
At this point I had been completely thrown off my game. I thought I had been explicitly clear with this guy regarding my desire to date people besides him. I thought I had been very clear that we weren't boyfriends and that we were simply two guys who were dating. Then he said I should have listened to my coworkers they said if you wanted to date other people that I shouldn't be with you.
Again I was thrown for a loop. I just started apologizing. I mean what else does one do in this situation. "I'm sorry if I miscommunicated with you. I tried to be very clear from the outset that that was not what I was looking for." And then it started, the pouting turned into an almost inaudible deep breathing which I have become all too familiar with working in an Emergency Department. It's the breath sound associated with the forthcoming tears. That's right the guy literally folded into my arms and was choking back tears because I had been on a date with someone besides him. I continued apologizing. "I'm sorry I'm a dickhead." "You deserve better than me." "I'm sorry I didn't mean to give you the wrong impression." "I'm sorry, please don't hate me." One of the last apologies I made was something along the lines of "Listen if you hate me for now, can we be friends eventually." Suddenly he went from sad and almost despondent to pissed. He got up and started getting dressed like he had some place to be.
I got up and started to try and talk to him and I probably would have had better luck getting a response from a wall. I offered to walk him to the train station, which he begrudgingly accepted. Then when we got to the station he stood there staring at me and acting as if I had seriously betrayed him. Before he left I got a very angry hug, you know the kind little kids give when they are being forced to apologize to someone against their will. I thought for sure things were completely done. This guy was going to hate me forever. Still I texted him about a half an hour later to make sure that he got home safely and I got the curtest answer possible....K.
And I thought it was over. I had a glass of wine, ordered some takeout, watched some TV and then fell asleep. In the morning I was awakened by the sound of my phone receiving not one, but multiple text messages in a row....11 to be exact.....for those of you curious, I have transcribed them below.....
Text 1
Good morning. To be honest no I don't hate you. Truth is I love/like you. I'm not falling too too hard for you. But deep down inside I love you. I know that sounds weird. Lol..
Text 2
I just want us to forget about what happened last night. Well not the sex part lol. That I enjoyed ALOT. I really and truly don't wanna lose you. And I would hope that in the future when your ready to settle that I'm the one but I can't decide that.
Text 3
I want to be more than friends with you and don't ever say that again, I was gonna punch you in the throat. I hate when guys break up with you and then they try to pull the friend card. That's a deal breaker for me. MAJOR RED FLAG. Lol.
Text 4
But again I don't wanna lose you. And I want to continue dating you. And I want us to have more and more sex. Please sir lol. I love spending time with you. Although we have our awkward moments but its cute.
Text 5
I do find you very attractive.
Text 6
I think what the problem is, is me. And I came to realize that now. And I'm sorry if I seen too dramatic about the whole thing. I'm sorry. I'm kinda embarrassed.
Text 7
But I wanna continue dating you. I don't hate you. No your not a douche, I had worse, your not a dick head,. I think your a tool though lol. Just being honest with that one.
Text 8
I'm new to this dating thing and I don't know how to deal with a guy that dates other guys.
Text 9
I like your honesty that's a plus.
Text 10
And one more thing I still wanna have sex with you.
Text 11
Lol...that's all I have to say I think lol. For now I guess, uh yeah...Lol. That's it hehe.
Now I am going to avoid breaking this down text by text because I feel like that might be overkill, but let's talk about some of the highlights shall we.
Good things: He recognizes that he was unreasonable. He thinks I'm attractive. He still wants to have sex with me.
Bad things: This guy is FUCKING CRAZY!!! I mean if you send me a text message with MAJOR RED FLAG in all capital letters then I think it would be remiss of me to ignore that as anything except a sign from whatever God or supreme being we are all supposed to believe in.
To me it is pretty obvious what must be done so I have texted Hickey about meeting tonight to discuss through some of this stuff. Normally I would throw out the friend card or the fuck buddy card to sort of save face, but I am thinking that Hickey is not the type of guy that can emotionally handle something like that. He needs concrete lines and delineations in his life, which is exactly the kind of thing that I am trying to avoid. Whether me bailing on this guy is a result of my commitment phobia, or his absolute insanity is probably something up for questioning, but either way I think this is the death of Hickey.
We shall see what the night has in store, but I'm not going to hold my breath.
Until next time...
Chau!!!
I had a fourth date with Hickey yesterday and everything seemed to go as planned. We met up and this time we ended up getting smoothies and some food at Boloco, think a locally owned Qdoba. Its nice enough not what I would expect for a date but Hickey seemed to actually enjoy himself this time which was definitely a change of pace. I mean he still did the weird I'm going to stare at you in silence thing but it was less frequent, and he did talk a little bit this time and he actually ate something.
Not to get sidetracked, but I think this was this first time I have seen the guy eat in the four dates that we have had. He has a sick body don't get me wrong. The guy is skinny, but lately I have noticed throughout the course of our few dates he has bulked up some which is something I am definitely not going to complain about. Actually thinking back on it he ate on our second date but nothing extraordinary. If we're speaking frankly the guy, with his clothes on, looks like he could be in one of the Feed the Children commercials where they tell you that for less than the price of one cup of coffee you can feed a child for a day in some weird country you have never heard of in your life. It was nice to see him eat. Okay back to the main story...how shallow of me to get sidetracked about a guys weight and body type...you'd think I was gay or something...
After finishing eating we headed back to my room where he informed me we were definitely not going to be having sex....Ummm yea sure...
I realized when he said that that I definitely have a slight problem. I mean I can go a while without having sex with someone that I am dating, but once I have sex with you....GAME ON....I mean especially after only having had sex once.
So naturally we started going at it despite his insistence that we would definitely not be having sex that night. And as we were he asked if I wouldn't mind being a little bit rougher and a little more domineering. Now for those of you who are worried that this means I am going to turn this blog into some sort of gay version of the 50 Shades novels fear not...I put those books to shame. Let's be real don't unleash my inner sexual dominant side unless you are really ready to handle it. I read people pretty well so knowing exactly what buttons to push to get someone to be so filled with sexual desire they'd do anything is something that comes pretty naturally to me.
*****NSFW*****
We started with the pretty normal Suck my dick, bitch kind of stuff while I completely ignored the fact that his cock even existed, a feat which would have been much easier had his dick not been so big and hard and dripping. Then stuff tended to move into the more aggressive side with me throwing him around, slapping his ass, a little bit of spitting, a little bit more of me beating up on his body. And then I couldn't take it anymore and I flipped him over and just started fucking his ass. Initially he definitely pulled away a little bit, but after a few minutes he really got into it and started to slam his ass back against me. The guy just wanted the dick. I then proceeded to tease him a little bit more and after a few more minutes I flipped him over and started to fuck him while looking into his eyes. He couldn't take it anymore. I don't know if he couldn't take it because he was going to cum or because his ass was sore, but either way he insisted I stop. So being the gentleman I am, I obliged and removed my dick from his ass. We finished each other off with very little finesse. A lot of dirty talk, which has somehow become a specialty of ours, and him slurping up my load. All in a date's work....or so I thought.
****SFW****
In the post-coital pillow talk we began talking more than we had the entire date so far, another thing that has become pretty typical with him and me. One of the first things I complimented him on his ability to control his texting me throughout the week. And in that conversation he asked once again about my dating life very indirectly and I informed him that I had been on a date since our last one with another guy. He did not take this very well....I had been so happy because I thought I had been wrong about him becoming a STAGE 12 CLINGER and then I got the reaction of a lifetime to what I thought was a seemingly innocuous answer to a pretty easy question. The guy literally clammed up and got pouty like a four year old who had been scolded for having one too many cookies. Then he got angry and said Well I thought that you weren't doing that anymore.
At this point I had been completely thrown off my game. I thought I had been explicitly clear with this guy regarding my desire to date people besides him. I thought I had been very clear that we weren't boyfriends and that we were simply two guys who were dating. Then he said I should have listened to my coworkers they said if you wanted to date other people that I shouldn't be with you.
Again I was thrown for a loop. I just started apologizing. I mean what else does one do in this situation. "I'm sorry if I miscommunicated with you. I tried to be very clear from the outset that that was not what I was looking for." And then it started, the pouting turned into an almost inaudible deep breathing which I have become all too familiar with working in an Emergency Department. It's the breath sound associated with the forthcoming tears. That's right the guy literally folded into my arms and was choking back tears because I had been on a date with someone besides him. I continued apologizing. "I'm sorry I'm a dickhead." "You deserve better than me." "I'm sorry I didn't mean to give you the wrong impression." "I'm sorry, please don't hate me." One of the last apologies I made was something along the lines of "Listen if you hate me for now, can we be friends eventually." Suddenly he went from sad and almost despondent to pissed. He got up and started getting dressed like he had some place to be.
I got up and started to try and talk to him and I probably would have had better luck getting a response from a wall. I offered to walk him to the train station, which he begrudgingly accepted. Then when we got to the station he stood there staring at me and acting as if I had seriously betrayed him. Before he left I got a very angry hug, you know the kind little kids give when they are being forced to apologize to someone against their will. I thought for sure things were completely done. This guy was going to hate me forever. Still I texted him about a half an hour later to make sure that he got home safely and I got the curtest answer possible....K.
And I thought it was over. I had a glass of wine, ordered some takeout, watched some TV and then fell asleep. In the morning I was awakened by the sound of my phone receiving not one, but multiple text messages in a row....11 to be exact.....for those of you curious, I have transcribed them below.....
Text 1
Good morning. To be honest no I don't hate you. Truth is I love/like you. I'm not falling too too hard for you. But deep down inside I love you. I know that sounds weird. Lol..
Text 2
I just want us to forget about what happened last night. Well not the sex part lol. That I enjoyed ALOT. I really and truly don't wanna lose you. And I would hope that in the future when your ready to settle that I'm the one but I can't decide that.
Text 3
I want to be more than friends with you and don't ever say that again, I was gonna punch you in the throat. I hate when guys break up with you and then they try to pull the friend card. That's a deal breaker for me. MAJOR RED FLAG. Lol.
Text 4
But again I don't wanna lose you. And I want to continue dating you. And I want us to have more and more sex. Please sir lol. I love spending time with you. Although we have our awkward moments but its cute.
Text 5
I do find you very attractive.
Text 6
I think what the problem is, is me. And I came to realize that now. And I'm sorry if I seen too dramatic about the whole thing. I'm sorry. I'm kinda embarrassed.
Text 7
But I wanna continue dating you. I don't hate you. No your not a douche, I had worse, your not a dick head,. I think your a tool though lol. Just being honest with that one.
Text 8
I'm new to this dating thing and I don't know how to deal with a guy that dates other guys.
Text 9
I like your honesty that's a plus.
Text 10
And one more thing I still wanna have sex with you.
Text 11
Lol...that's all I have to say I think lol. For now I guess, uh yeah...Lol. That's it hehe.
Now I am going to avoid breaking this down text by text because I feel like that might be overkill, but let's talk about some of the highlights shall we.
Good things: He recognizes that he was unreasonable. He thinks I'm attractive. He still wants to have sex with me.
Bad things: This guy is FUCKING CRAZY!!! I mean if you send me a text message with MAJOR RED FLAG in all capital letters then I think it would be remiss of me to ignore that as anything except a sign from whatever God or supreme being we are all supposed to believe in.
To me it is pretty obvious what must be done so I have texted Hickey about meeting tonight to discuss through some of this stuff. Normally I would throw out the friend card or the fuck buddy card to sort of save face, but I am thinking that Hickey is not the type of guy that can emotionally handle something like that. He needs concrete lines and delineations in his life, which is exactly the kind of thing that I am trying to avoid. Whether me bailing on this guy is a result of my commitment phobia, or his absolute insanity is probably something up for questioning, but either way I think this is the death of Hickey.
We shall see what the night has in store, but I'm not going to hold my breath.
Until next time...
Chau!!!
Monday, March 4, 2013
Hairy Little Beast....
Okay this is a short one proving that old habits don't die hard....in fact old habits just never die. Its Saturday night and I have been invited to a party by my roommates for one of their cousin's 21st. One of my roommates seems to have the absolute epitome of no game. I mean he might actually be the first person I have ever met with negative game. So I decided I was going to try and play wingman for him and see if I could get him any ass.
I spent over half an hour talking with this one girl. She was primed and ready to go and actually seemed to show a genuine interest in my roommate which I as the helpful gay friend was able to exploit and magnify to a different level. All my roommate now had to do was close...not bad right? Well he was acting like a pussy trying to get this girl to come home with him. He wouldn't make a move. He then, drunkenly, made a statement to the effect that "if making a move is so easy how come I don't see you doing it". It was at this point that I began scouring the party for any other gay guy there.
Then I saw him in the corner. Some small pocket gayby was just sitting in the corner on the phone. So to prove a point, as is too often the case with me, I went over to the gayby and said, "Get off the phone" He looked stunned that someone had spoken to him. He started babbling about who was on the phone, why he was sitting in the corner, and why he was ignoring the party and in typical fashion I just grabbed him and shoved my tongue down his throat. And almost instantaneously the phone was hung up. After about 5 minutes of making out I invited the guy back to my place. On the way out the door I gave my roommate a smug look and dragged the unsuspecting gayby behind me.
When I got home I realized just how drunk this guy was as he was trying to take off his clothes. I also realized that although the guy appeared to be the perfect pocket gayby....he was actually covered in body hair. But covered in a very uniform and almost sexy way. It is very unusual for me to be attracted to someone white, hairy, short, and pretty flamboyant, but apparently after a few drinks and a challenge from a roommate my type changes a little bit.
We started going at it almost immediately and I realized that this gayby was more screwed up than I though. The Hairy Little Beast (HLB) started telling me all about the guys he had been with since he came out 6 months ago (shocker there right). Apparently this kid had already had rectal Gonorrhea twice. And that was my cue to avoid actually having sex with him. Then when the kid whipped his pants off and I saw that his dick was about the same size as PillHeads I realized that this was definitely a PLC.
Man I had been doing so well too...but I guess some things will never change.
Oh the best part, HLB decided, as I was trying to blow him in much the same manner I use to blow PillHead (balls and cock at once) that he wasn't into it and didn't want to cum. Then in the morning he called me the wrong name. Then he told me that he was just not into me at all physically but continue to sleep and cuddle in my bed until I said, "So are you just going to stay here after that" Then he took the hint and hit the road.
You'd think at this point in my life I would be able to ignore a dumb comment from a roommate with negative game, but I guess that is not the case once I've had a few drinks in me. Oh well....whatcha gonna do, right?
Until next time...
Chau!!
I spent over half an hour talking with this one girl. She was primed and ready to go and actually seemed to show a genuine interest in my roommate which I as the helpful gay friend was able to exploit and magnify to a different level. All my roommate now had to do was close...not bad right? Well he was acting like a pussy trying to get this girl to come home with him. He wouldn't make a move. He then, drunkenly, made a statement to the effect that "if making a move is so easy how come I don't see you doing it". It was at this point that I began scouring the party for any other gay guy there.
Then I saw him in the corner. Some small pocket gayby was just sitting in the corner on the phone. So to prove a point, as is too often the case with me, I went over to the gayby and said, "Get off the phone" He looked stunned that someone had spoken to him. He started babbling about who was on the phone, why he was sitting in the corner, and why he was ignoring the party and in typical fashion I just grabbed him and shoved my tongue down his throat. And almost instantaneously the phone was hung up. After about 5 minutes of making out I invited the guy back to my place. On the way out the door I gave my roommate a smug look and dragged the unsuspecting gayby behind me.
When I got home I realized just how drunk this guy was as he was trying to take off his clothes. I also realized that although the guy appeared to be the perfect pocket gayby....he was actually covered in body hair. But covered in a very uniform and almost sexy way. It is very unusual for me to be attracted to someone white, hairy, short, and pretty flamboyant, but apparently after a few drinks and a challenge from a roommate my type changes a little bit.
We started going at it almost immediately and I realized that this gayby was more screwed up than I though. The Hairy Little Beast (HLB) started telling me all about the guys he had been with since he came out 6 months ago (shocker there right). Apparently this kid had already had rectal Gonorrhea twice. And that was my cue to avoid actually having sex with him. Then when the kid whipped his pants off and I saw that his dick was about the same size as PillHeads I realized that this was definitely a PLC.
Man I had been doing so well too...but I guess some things will never change.
Oh the best part, HLB decided, as I was trying to blow him in much the same manner I use to blow PillHead (balls and cock at once) that he wasn't into it and didn't want to cum. Then in the morning he called me the wrong name. Then he told me that he was just not into me at all physically but continue to sleep and cuddle in my bed until I said, "So are you just going to stay here after that" Then he took the hint and hit the road.
You'd think at this point in my life I would be able to ignore a dumb comment from a roommate with negative game, but I guess that is not the case once I've had a few drinks in me. Oh well....whatcha gonna do, right?
Until next time...
Chau!!
Saturday, February 16, 2013
This is a DRUNK post....
Want to know what I am ABSOLUTELY sick of??? Drunk straight closeted frat bros hitting on me....
That's right! STOP!! I am over it...I no longer have the fantasy of the drunk straight guy asking me for a blowjob. I'm over it...I'm not turned on, I'm not automatically into you, I am not such a slut that I will blow you just because you're straight.
FUCK YOU! I am sick of your shit. Either come out and act like a normal gay person or don't. Stop trying to be straight but still get your dick wet from a guy.
THAT IS ALL...THIS HAS BEEN A DRUNK AND BITTER POST!
That's right! STOP!! I am over it...I no longer have the fantasy of the drunk straight guy asking me for a blowjob. I'm over it...I'm not turned on, I'm not automatically into you, I am not such a slut that I will blow you just because you're straight.
FUCK YOU! I am sick of your shit. Either come out and act like a normal gay person or don't. Stop trying to be straight but still get your dick wet from a guy.
THAT IS ALL...THIS HAS BEEN A DRUNK AND BITTER POST!
Thursday, November 1, 2012
Signs from God
Do you every feel like you are getting a sign from God???
Okay this is going to sound absolutely crazy, but I feel like this a lot of the time. I don't mean it in like a weird I-hear-voices-God-is-talking-to-me-and-I-Need-meds sort of a way......I just mean
Do you ever feel like Fate is trying to make a point?
Here is the dilemma....
I NEVER dream....like never NEVER NEVER dream....and in the last two night I have had a dream each night. Now I could attribute this to the new NUtritious Cookies that I purchased and have been eating one or two before bed each night, but that would be rational and reasonable...so of course I am choosing to believe these dreams are some power stronger than myself trying to send me a message. So lets break em down shall we?
DREAM 1: The first dream basically had me upset because Romeo was fucking another guy this whole time. I blew this one off because quite frankly I don't think Romeo has it in him. Also I blew it off because I'm not really sure I would be upset if Romeo was fucking someone else. This dream did leave me with a sour taste in my mouth though. Is it odd that a little piece me felt hurt by a dream? Irrelevant I guess, but interesting to think about.
Dream 2: The second dream had me in a relationship with another guy, not Romeo, but running into Romeo out. Basically in this dream Romeo avoided me like the plague and I'm still not sure if it was because I was upset at him or if he was upset at me.
Basically the point is I find it very weird that I never dream and in the last two days I have had dreams about Romeo....does that mean this guy has managed to squirm his way into my inner psyche already? Are the dreams signs or warnings that I should get out now before things get more involved? Are the dreams just trying to give me the heads up that Romeo isn't as into this whole thing as I am?
Then the Fates to confuse me a little bit more sent me something strange today as I was leaving work. I was waiting for the Orange Line and one of the most attractive mixed race guys I have seen in a long time came up to me and just struck up a conversation. He was hot as hell and my type to a T. He had muscles, brown skin, was a football player, great dresser, was going back to college for a marketing degree...and he was talking and flirting with me. I couldn't believe it....I have always wanted that to happen so of course it does when I am having all of these complicated...dare I say it....feelings for Romeo. Is it a sign that my dream man is still out there and that Romeo isn't good for right now? Is it a sign that I should just go for it with Romeo because my dream guy will still be out there if this doesn't work?
I honestly have no idea what the fuck any of this means....all I do know is it has brought into question a lot of the feelings I am having about Romeo....I'm just not sure it is all its cracked up to be...
Have I made him to be better than he is in my head? Do I want too much? Am I settling or am I compromising because I really like him? Are these things signs or hallucinations? Should I get some sort of psych eval?
Clearly the answer is still waiting for me to discover it...so off to bed I go...let's see if anymore weird dreams await me.
Until Later
Chau!!!
Okay this is going to sound absolutely crazy, but I feel like this a lot of the time. I don't mean it in like a weird I-hear-voices-God-is-talking-to-me-and-I-Need-meds sort of a way......I just mean
Do you ever feel like Fate is trying to make a point?
Here is the dilemma....
I NEVER dream....like never NEVER NEVER dream....and in the last two night I have had a dream each night. Now I could attribute this to the new NUtritious Cookies that I purchased and have been eating one or two before bed each night, but that would be rational and reasonable...so of course I am choosing to believe these dreams are some power stronger than myself trying to send me a message. So lets break em down shall we?
DREAM 1: The first dream basically had me upset because Romeo was fucking another guy this whole time. I blew this one off because quite frankly I don't think Romeo has it in him. Also I blew it off because I'm not really sure I would be upset if Romeo was fucking someone else. This dream did leave me with a sour taste in my mouth though. Is it odd that a little piece me felt hurt by a dream? Irrelevant I guess, but interesting to think about.
Dream 2: The second dream had me in a relationship with another guy, not Romeo, but running into Romeo out. Basically in this dream Romeo avoided me like the plague and I'm still not sure if it was because I was upset at him or if he was upset at me.
Basically the point is I find it very weird that I never dream and in the last two days I have had dreams about Romeo....does that mean this guy has managed to squirm his way into my inner psyche already? Are the dreams signs or warnings that I should get out now before things get more involved? Are the dreams just trying to give me the heads up that Romeo isn't as into this whole thing as I am?
Then the Fates to confuse me a little bit more sent me something strange today as I was leaving work. I was waiting for the Orange Line and one of the most attractive mixed race guys I have seen in a long time came up to me and just struck up a conversation. He was hot as hell and my type to a T. He had muscles, brown skin, was a football player, great dresser, was going back to college for a marketing degree...and he was talking and flirting with me. I couldn't believe it....I have always wanted that to happen so of course it does when I am having all of these complicated...dare I say it....feelings for Romeo. Is it a sign that my dream man is still out there and that Romeo isn't good for right now? Is it a sign that I should just go for it with Romeo because my dream guy will still be out there if this doesn't work?
I honestly have no idea what the fuck any of this means....all I do know is it has brought into question a lot of the feelings I am having about Romeo....I'm just not sure it is all its cracked up to be...
Have I made him to be better than he is in my head? Do I want too much? Am I settling or am I compromising because I really like him? Are these things signs or hallucinations? Should I get some sort of psych eval?
Clearly the answer is still waiting for me to discover it...so off to bed I go...let's see if anymore weird dreams await me.
Until Later
Chau!!!
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