Sorry for the lack of updates here. My life has been crazy and to be completely honest I had kind of put the idea of ever finding someone legitimate on hold after the Hufflepuff. I was pretty devastated for a relationship that hadn't really even started yet. It was pretty unreasonable to be honest. What did I care if he didn't like me back? Except I really did care...a lot. Recently The Hufflepuff recently changed his Facebook status and my distant longing that he would change his mind about who I am and what he wanted faded away. I threw myself into work. Like I always do. I'm now up to 6 jobs and grad school. To be honest even I am starting to think it is getting a little ridiculous and that I should probably slow down, but I'll be damned if I am going to let anyone else tell me that......mother........
So this weekend I flew across the country to see one of my friends from nursing school marry the love of her life. Amidst my own self-deprecation and heart ache I was going to be supportive of my friend who has successfully navigated the one thing that despite my jobs I have been unable to figure out...how to find the love of your life.
Jokingly, before I flew out, my friend had mentioned that she thought it would be a sort of brilliant piece of life theater if I found the love of my life at her wedding. I laughed it off, but secretly I of course hoped that she was right. I crossed my fingers that when I flew into Seattle my own personal Brawny Paper Towel man would be helping me get my bags off the plane and offer me a suggestion about a hiking trail. I would coyly ask for him to be my personal Sacagawea (of course he would be some ethnic mix that would lend him to be both a burly mountain man and the male version of the folkloric Native American maze-runner) and guide me through his most treasured hiking trail. I'd try and sleep with him in the middle of woods and he would redirect all of my sexual frustrations to building as close a relationship as possible in the four days that I was in town.
Well that didn't happen. I arrived sans pomp and circumstance and spent the first two days in Seattle alone with my books. I fielded a few phone calls from work but mostly kept to myself and dwelt on the fact that I was utterly alone. Most of the time I was fine, but as I navigated through the Pike Place Market alone and sat at a lovely French Bistro with nothing but the jibes of the newest David Sedaris book to keep me company, I kept looking for my Brawny Man.
The wedding was lovely. The bride was gorgeous, the groom was handsome, and the ceremony was just the right amount of sap and sass to prove that they were a real and lasting couple. It truly made me wonder if I would ever have a love like that or if I would just be the eternal wedding guest, good for a dance and to entertain your gay cousin for the evening, but not really ever having a relationship that was more serious than that.
So the night after the wedding I splurged on a hotel room in Downtown Seattle at a place called the Paramount. In almost some kind of alternative joke universe I was informed that my room had been upgraded free of charge to the Master Suite. It was both exciting and devastating! I think almost everyone gets excited at the idea of a bigger bathroom with additional amenities, but the thought of being in a hotel room that was bigger than my studio apartment at home in Boston....all alone....did nothing except remind me that I was by myself and had no one to even call and enjoy this amazing opportunity with beyond my SnapChat story and my mother.....less than desirable to say the least.
I forced myself to go out. I hit up the local gay concierge and asked for a recommendation, Queer Bar, HOW ORIGINAL!! But at this point I was willing to give anything a shot. I got in my Uber and arrived just as the bar was starting to get busy. It was like a who's who of Seattle's Gender Spectrum. I think every drag queen, king, and gender non-binary person was attempting to dance with the likes of the 10-15 cisgendered gay men who had come out for a night of debauchery. I was enjoying my second sip of the vokda/RedBull I had ordered when this fairly tall gangly white boy came of no where and said, "Can I buy you a drink?"
I was totally off-kilter. Who was this guy? Why was he offering me a drink when mine was full? How drunk was he? Was he here alone? Why was he wearing those ugly shorts? It didn't take long until all of those questions were quickly answered. Apparently the SeattleCasanova, had come to the bar with his best friend and had just been shot down by two other guys that evening. There was a certain endearing quality to him and after a bit of conversation I learned that he had only come out to his family a month ago and that he had tried doing the online dating thing in the past but now that he was out wanted to give the real life thing a try.
I don't know why, if it was the booze, if it was my loneliness, if it was the suite that I didn't want to go to waste, but I invited SeattleCasanova home with me. I insisted that he drink more water, and I insisted that we wouldn't be having sex. I actually was that horny, I had taken care of that 2-3 times before I even decided to go out.
Once we got home SeattleCasanova took off his clothes to get into bed to snuggle and I realized that the bulky clothes he was wearing were actually covering up a well defined body that was clearly the product of the gym, genetics, and some dedication to outdoorsman activities. The most surprising revelation had to be not the body underneath the clothes or the meaty cock that he had been hiding in the ugliest pair of plaid shorts I had ever seen in my entire life....was this giant tatoo of a cephalod on his right rib cage. It was gorgeous and colorful and incited an instant connection with this stranger beyond simply being two lonely gay men in a club in Seattle. The night was great and we had a wonderful morning together. The chemistry was off the charts despite not having penetrative anal sex at all.
Breakfast was pleasant and the conversation flowed like water. I didn't want him to leave. SeattleCasanova is one of three brothers, part of a very close Northwestern family, an accountant for a medical company, and quirky enough to hold my interest (I think he washed his hand a minimal of 37 times in the 16 or so hours we were together. SeattleCasanova is looking for a boyfriend. I am looking for something and last night we both filled that need.
After breakfast we went to Pike Place Market and got coffee and I got to experience the whole fish throwing and gum wall with a partner. It was really nice. I enjoyed his company and it was just a great morning. I didn't want it to end and so I asked if he would show me one of his hiking trails. We went to Discovery Park and because I can't help myself I made my Brawny man tale come true and then I drove SeattleCasanova home.
We traded phone numbers and social networking platforms and I hope that we stay in touch. Who knows if we will.....we have been talking, but this seems oddly reminiscent of the IndyWitch. Why is it that I allow myself to fall so hard and so fast for people who it will never work with? Is that why I allow myself to go there because I know that it is impossible to grow any semblance of a relationship across the country?
Who knows......I guess it's time I get on this plane and leave Seattle and all it's Casanovas for now.
Tchau!!
Showing posts with label gay boston. Show all posts
Showing posts with label gay boston. Show all posts
Sunday, July 29, 2018
Thursday, February 16, 2017
Alcoholics Abound
There have been countless times in my dating and professional life where lines and boundaries have gotten....well let's say blurred. I walk into the waiting room of the STD clinic to find a guy that I , dated or have previously fucked. I'm out at the club and one or another of the dancers wants to ask me questions about the bicillin shots that I had given him earlier in the week to treat his syphilis. One of the disease intervention specialists is given my name by a patient who thinks I may have been a contact to their rectal gonorrhea. Luckily for me I have come up with two sure fire ways to deal with these types of situations: 1) I ALWAYS use a condom and 2)I ALWAYS offer to talk about things more at the office and can provide my phone number for you to leave a voicemail on.
Recently a new situation came up for me though where the lines between casual friendship/fuck buddy blurred into a more nurse patient relationship. A guy that I have previously hooked up with....LOC....asked me if I thought he had a drinking problem. I think this was the first time that someone I was hooking up with had a questions about their substance use disorder. I mean in the past I have had guys I dated interested in doing drugs, but they never involved me in their drug use. There was something about the way he framed the question though that really threw me for a loop.
"Like do you think I have a drinking problem? No seriously I have been thinking I might need help but I want your professional opinion?" At this point I was so flummoxed that the only thing I could say was, "Well how much do you drink a night? and what happens if you don't have a drink one night?" The answers to both questions indicated to me that LOC would require a little more TLC to get his life in check. Drinking 3-4 drinks per night and getting shaky by 6 if you haven't had a drink yet is almost certainly an indication that you have a drinking problem.
And I can't help myself....so with true grace and class I said, "Yes I think you need some help." and I gave the number to a detox or two with the expectation that he would never follow through. But now what do I do? Do I continue to hook up with him? Do I try to use myself as leverage to get him to seek treatment? Do I just ghost him?
Ultimately I decided on none of the above. Instead what I did was provide the patient/LOC with info on places where he could seek treatment and encouraged him to do so. I also continued to talk to him like a friend and someone who I had slept with a while back but still enjoyed flirting with. I think I am going to try and treat it in the same way that I treat chlamydia/gonorrhea in a guy who is really interested in me. I give it some time and if the interest is still there, but the original problem is taken care of then I give them a second chance. If any piece of that is screwed up then its back to the drawing board for me but at least I can't be accused of not giving people a chance.
Recently a new situation came up for me though where the lines between casual friendship/fuck buddy blurred into a more nurse patient relationship. A guy that I have previously hooked up with....LOC....asked me if I thought he had a drinking problem. I think this was the first time that someone I was hooking up with had a questions about their substance use disorder. I mean in the past I have had guys I dated interested in doing drugs, but they never involved me in their drug use. There was something about the way he framed the question though that really threw me for a loop.
"Like do you think I have a drinking problem? No seriously I have been thinking I might need help but I want your professional opinion?" At this point I was so flummoxed that the only thing I could say was, "Well how much do you drink a night? and what happens if you don't have a drink one night?" The answers to both questions indicated to me that LOC would require a little more TLC to get his life in check. Drinking 3-4 drinks per night and getting shaky by 6 if you haven't had a drink yet is almost certainly an indication that you have a drinking problem.
And I can't help myself....so with true grace and class I said, "Yes I think you need some help." and I gave the number to a detox or two with the expectation that he would never follow through. But now what do I do? Do I continue to hook up with him? Do I try to use myself as leverage to get him to seek treatment? Do I just ghost him?
Ultimately I decided on none of the above. Instead what I did was provide the patient/LOC with info on places where he could seek treatment and encouraged him to do so. I also continued to talk to him like a friend and someone who I had slept with a while back but still enjoyed flirting with. I think I am going to try and treat it in the same way that I treat chlamydia/gonorrhea in a guy who is really interested in me. I give it some time and if the interest is still there, but the original problem is taken care of then I give them a second chance. If any piece of that is screwed up then its back to the drawing board for me but at least I can't be accused of not giving people a chance.
Sunday, January 8, 2017
A Birthday Weekend Extravaganza
I know that I may have been gone for a while, but some things have not changed. I turned 27 this last week and I am still a total work-a-holic (I'm up to 4 jobs now) and I still am single as ever. I have never had a boyfriend despite my best efforts and I currently don't have a single prospect.
So what is a 27 year old guy to do on his birthday weekend... I took it off...I didn't work a single job, all weekend. Instead I planned to go out and drink and dance and have a good time. Of course life is never simple and there is always a wrench to be thrown into the plan.
Let's take it day by day shall we:
FRIDAY
I wasn't really sure where I was going to go or who I was going to go out with, but I was determined to do something fun. So I left work late, per usual, went to the gym and then headed home to eat and get dressed. As I was eating, one of my regular hook up buddies hit me up.
What you all need to know about this regular fb, let's call him LOC (Lawyer Of Color) is that the last time we fooled around I found out that he has a boyfriend. After multiple hook ups with LOC, he finally told me that he has had a boyfriend for 16 years and that they have been living together since 2006. Per LOC they are in an open relationship and it is completely okay to sleep with others. However, LOC spent the night the last time he came over and received multiple text messages from his boyfriend/common law husband in the morning. That seems to be a pretty normal reaction, but what was strange is that LOC didn't simply say that he fell asleep at the house of his hook up, instead he said that he was at another friend's home. Why lie if it was okay and you had an arrangement? It seemed odd, but I decided to let it go. I wasn't looking to make him my husband so what do I care about the logistics of his own long term relationship.
I tell you this to explain that on Friday night when LOC hit me up, I told him that he could come by, but I was going out. He was excited to go out because in his relationship state this apparently does not happen that frequently. We ultimately decided to go to Paradise and he came to my place so we could uber together. Then as I was getting ready he proceeded to get somewhere between 5 and 20 text messages. None of them were happy. I decided I would give him a few minutes to call his hubby and I encouraged him to tell his hubby to join us at the bar. I figured if there really were in an open relationship it would be fine. Then about 10 minutes later and uber became unnecessary because his hubby was coming to pick us up and drive us and accompany us to the bar. Cut to perhaps the most awkward car ride of my life. I sat in the back, alone and was talked about while in the car by both LOC and his husband. OH yes a full on tense conversation that I tried to intersperse with funny anecdotes or stories, which received no response from either party. I may as well have talked to myself.
When we finally got to the club, I immediately headed for the bar, where much to my surprise LOC's Hubby bought me a drink. Finally after two scotch and waters the hubby started to become talkative. It was probably half an hour into a rather typical night at Paradise when one of the other guys I have recently been dating walked in.
The other guy (who waltzed into the awkward night that was me as the third wheel to LOC's marriage) is a young black opera singer originally from the South. He is super nice, has a great singing voice, and an ass that you could bounce a quarter off. He is currently in grad school and working at one of the local colleges while still managing to go on auditions. I will call him Southern Divo for the blog for obvious reasons.
Well Southern Divo was not alone. He brought with him ProfAK. ProfAK was Southern Divo's voice teacher while he was in undergrad at a school in Arkansas. Apparently the professor and his student had hooked up after the professor finally left his wife. The two of them were now getting together in the city of Boston and decided to come to Paradise.....of course, where else would such a relationship be tolerated. To describe ProfAK I need only say he is exactly what you would picture a recently out southern opera voice teacher to look like, complete with spectacles, pale white skin, and large grandpa sweater despite being rather handsome.
Well the odd couple ended up joining the odd thruple on the dance floor and we actually had a pretty good night. It was a weird combination of jealousy and drama for me though. I guess I have been out of the gay club scene for a while and forgot how messy things can get when alcohol and emotions are involved. Ultimately I spent my night alternating between flirting and dancing with Southern Divo and LOC while ProfAK and LOC's Hubby were alternately flirting with me and giving me the evil eye. I felt a little like both sets of guys were competing to see who I might go home and have a threesome with, which was really strange.
When the club finally closed, LOC and Hubby were barely speaking to each other, but both wanted me to get in a car and go home with them. I politely shot them both down, insisting that I was going to take public transit so they didn't have to go out of their way to drive me home.
Then somewhere between the exit of Paradise and Mass Ave (not even a city block) I decided I would invite Southern Divo and ProfAK to brunch with me the next morning. Naturally when they agreed I also invited them to spend the night at my place since my roommate was away.
********************************NSFW***************************************
One thing led to another and before I knew it both Southern Divo and ProfAK were naked in my bed and we were fooling around. In no time we went from harmlessly making out with each other to seeing which one of us was most adept at shoving two cocks in their mouth at the same time.
You would think having two men that specialize in opera and vocal performance that they would both be able to open their mouths wide and really just go for it, but I ended up being the double stuff champ....who knew....(let's be honest...I did....if there is one thing that I have learned in the two years that I have been away its that I really love sucking dick and sometimes a passion for cock sucking is even better than the most skilled tongue). '
After a few hours of mostly oral, handjobs, and fingering, no one was ponying up to get fucked. I don't think that any of us had really planned on having anal sex that night and none was willing to take a time out to get ready. Eventually I started to get sleepy and I decided enough was enough and one by one, I shoved my finger in an asshole and swirled my tongue around a dick head and watched two giant loads shoot across bare chests. It was really hot and fun, but I was exhausted and it was bed time. I threw each of them a towel and then shimmied myself in between Southern Divo as the littlest spoon and ProfAK as the big spoon, still hard, but not wanting to let my horniness subside. I figured the minute I came I would instantly regret the almost threesome and I didn't want to ruin the moment.
We all fell asleep within minutes and did not wake up until my phone buzzed with a text message from one of the programs I am in charge of to let me know that one of my patients was brought to the ED. I hopped out of bed, read the text message and as I was crawling back in between the two men in my bed I realized that ProfAK was up and horny. I think having recently come out, this was probably the first all male threesome he had ever experienced and was still raring to go from the night before. I placated him, making out with him and giving him a handjob before ultimately shoving my middle finger up his ass, finding his prostate and gently tapping it until he shot a second load all over himself.
While he was in the bathroom cleaning up Southern Divo woke up and thanked me for the night before...he also thanked me for taking care of his professor this morning without him because "I'm not really into him and I'm afraid he thinks that I am going to want something."
********************************************SFW*********************************
Around 10:30a we all started to wake up again to the warnings about the snowfall. While I have a car and don't mind driving in the city I decided that I would rather not drive in the snow to brunch especially since I really wanted a bloody mary. Both Southern Divo and ProfAK went back to Southern Divo's place to get ready and come back to my place to uber to brunch.
SATURDAY
Brunch was largely uneventful and I found myself reveling in the talk of two true opera nerds. The ease with which the professor and his student were able to talk about famous directors, companies, schools, and pieces made me feel like I was in the inner circle and the inner theater kid in me was thrilled! I really do miss performing and every once in while its fun to think about how differently my life would have been if I had pursued musical theater instead of nursing.....but I digress.
My plan for Saturday quickly changed as more and more snow started falling down. Instead of going out to a straight bar and meeting up with one of the nurses I work, I became more and more focused on a guy who started to booty call me around 7p.
Normally, anyone who would booty call me around 7p would automatically be out...for you to be so desperate and so needed so early in the night there would have to be something seriously wrong with you and I just don't need anything else seriously wrong with my life. But, something about the mounting snow Saturday evening somehow made a 7p booty call acceptable.
Then when the guy finally showed up I remembered why I had been so negligent in replying to him the week after Christmas.....his voice was a huge turn off. I know that is a really superficial and bitchy thing to say, but it is the truth. Via text this guy is wicked hot. He is kind of cocky, really aggressive, and has a somewhat expansive vocabulary. In person this guy has not only an effeminate voice, but a really really gay inflection. Now I really don't have a problem with a gay inflection at all...I have dated guys with more than just a lilt to their voice, but they never tried to Dom me. The idea that a Dom Top would have the voice of Beverly Leslie from Will and Grace.
It's a travesty really. Otherwise the guy is pretty hot....not in the traditional rippling muscles sense, but he has a swagger. Ultimately about 5 minutes into sucking his dick I got cold and bored and decided that maybe we should just cuddle and watch a crappy movie instead. Luckily, this guy is on the girthier side and an eater and I had lamb, a roast, and risotto in my fridge to appease him.
We ended up watching this terrible movie on Netflix called Maximum Ride and then simply going to sleep. Sunday morning I woke up again to a text message from my caregivers about one of the patients who was not feeling great in the snow. I responded and promptly ignored Beverly Leslie's pleas to finally get him off. It wasn't until ten o'clock when Beverly Leslie told me that he had called an Uber and was going home that I finally got out of bed and said goodbye. That will surely be the last time that I invite him over. Get tricked by that voice once or twice that's one thing, but more than four times and then you're just a fucking idiot.
SUNDAY
I had intended to spend this day trolling OkCupid or some other dating app for a date this week, but instead the snow inspired a Betty HomoMaker like experience and I ended up making muffins, and bread, and a delicious hearty beef stew. Some days when I spend the whole day alone just cooking and cleaning I find so much joy in what I do that I become ever more ok with being alone forever. I'm not sure if that is a good thing or a bad thing really, only just that its a fact.
I guess the one thing that I am going to take away from this birthday weekend is that going into 27 I am going to take a play out of a television show called Being Mary Jane, everyone in my phone is getting a nick name. Just like I give guys nick names on my blog I am going to start naming them in my phone that way so I don't forget who they are and what I like or don't like about them. Seems silly, but I am hoping that it will help prevent some PLCs like Beverly Leslie from happening again.
Well until next time.
Tchau!!!
So what is a 27 year old guy to do on his birthday weekend... I took it off...I didn't work a single job, all weekend. Instead I planned to go out and drink and dance and have a good time. Of course life is never simple and there is always a wrench to be thrown into the plan.
Let's take it day by day shall we:
FRIDAY
I wasn't really sure where I was going to go or who I was going to go out with, but I was determined to do something fun. So I left work late, per usual, went to the gym and then headed home to eat and get dressed. As I was eating, one of my regular hook up buddies hit me up.
What you all need to know about this regular fb, let's call him LOC (Lawyer Of Color) is that the last time we fooled around I found out that he has a boyfriend. After multiple hook ups with LOC, he finally told me that he has had a boyfriend for 16 years and that they have been living together since 2006. Per LOC they are in an open relationship and it is completely okay to sleep with others. However, LOC spent the night the last time he came over and received multiple text messages from his boyfriend/common law husband in the morning. That seems to be a pretty normal reaction, but what was strange is that LOC didn't simply say that he fell asleep at the house of his hook up, instead he said that he was at another friend's home. Why lie if it was okay and you had an arrangement? It seemed odd, but I decided to let it go. I wasn't looking to make him my husband so what do I care about the logistics of his own long term relationship.
I tell you this to explain that on Friday night when LOC hit me up, I told him that he could come by, but I was going out. He was excited to go out because in his relationship state this apparently does not happen that frequently. We ultimately decided to go to Paradise and he came to my place so we could uber together. Then as I was getting ready he proceeded to get somewhere between 5 and 20 text messages. None of them were happy. I decided I would give him a few minutes to call his hubby and I encouraged him to tell his hubby to join us at the bar. I figured if there really were in an open relationship it would be fine. Then about 10 minutes later and uber became unnecessary because his hubby was coming to pick us up and drive us and accompany us to the bar. Cut to perhaps the most awkward car ride of my life. I sat in the back, alone and was talked about while in the car by both LOC and his husband. OH yes a full on tense conversation that I tried to intersperse with funny anecdotes or stories, which received no response from either party. I may as well have talked to myself.
When we finally got to the club, I immediately headed for the bar, where much to my surprise LOC's Hubby bought me a drink. Finally after two scotch and waters the hubby started to become talkative. It was probably half an hour into a rather typical night at Paradise when one of the other guys I have recently been dating walked in.
The other guy (who waltzed into the awkward night that was me as the third wheel to LOC's marriage) is a young black opera singer originally from the South. He is super nice, has a great singing voice, and an ass that you could bounce a quarter off. He is currently in grad school and working at one of the local colleges while still managing to go on auditions. I will call him Southern Divo for the blog for obvious reasons.
Well Southern Divo was not alone. He brought with him ProfAK. ProfAK was Southern Divo's voice teacher while he was in undergrad at a school in Arkansas. Apparently the professor and his student had hooked up after the professor finally left his wife. The two of them were now getting together in the city of Boston and decided to come to Paradise.....of course, where else would such a relationship be tolerated. To describe ProfAK I need only say he is exactly what you would picture a recently out southern opera voice teacher to look like, complete with spectacles, pale white skin, and large grandpa sweater despite being rather handsome.
Well the odd couple ended up joining the odd thruple on the dance floor and we actually had a pretty good night. It was a weird combination of jealousy and drama for me though. I guess I have been out of the gay club scene for a while and forgot how messy things can get when alcohol and emotions are involved. Ultimately I spent my night alternating between flirting and dancing with Southern Divo and LOC while ProfAK and LOC's Hubby were alternately flirting with me and giving me the evil eye. I felt a little like both sets of guys were competing to see who I might go home and have a threesome with, which was really strange.
When the club finally closed, LOC and Hubby were barely speaking to each other, but both wanted me to get in a car and go home with them. I politely shot them both down, insisting that I was going to take public transit so they didn't have to go out of their way to drive me home.
Then somewhere between the exit of Paradise and Mass Ave (not even a city block) I decided I would invite Southern Divo and ProfAK to brunch with me the next morning. Naturally when they agreed I also invited them to spend the night at my place since my roommate was away.
********************************NSFW***************************************
One thing led to another and before I knew it both Southern Divo and ProfAK were naked in my bed and we were fooling around. In no time we went from harmlessly making out with each other to seeing which one of us was most adept at shoving two cocks in their mouth at the same time.
You would think having two men that specialize in opera and vocal performance that they would both be able to open their mouths wide and really just go for it, but I ended up being the double stuff champ....who knew....(let's be honest...I did....if there is one thing that I have learned in the two years that I have been away its that I really love sucking dick and sometimes a passion for cock sucking is even better than the most skilled tongue). '
After a few hours of mostly oral, handjobs, and fingering, no one was ponying up to get fucked. I don't think that any of us had really planned on having anal sex that night and none was willing to take a time out to get ready. Eventually I started to get sleepy and I decided enough was enough and one by one, I shoved my finger in an asshole and swirled my tongue around a dick head and watched two giant loads shoot across bare chests. It was really hot and fun, but I was exhausted and it was bed time. I threw each of them a towel and then shimmied myself in between Southern Divo as the littlest spoon and ProfAK as the big spoon, still hard, but not wanting to let my horniness subside. I figured the minute I came I would instantly regret the almost threesome and I didn't want to ruin the moment.
We all fell asleep within minutes and did not wake up until my phone buzzed with a text message from one of the programs I am in charge of to let me know that one of my patients was brought to the ED. I hopped out of bed, read the text message and as I was crawling back in between the two men in my bed I realized that ProfAK was up and horny. I think having recently come out, this was probably the first all male threesome he had ever experienced and was still raring to go from the night before. I placated him, making out with him and giving him a handjob before ultimately shoving my middle finger up his ass, finding his prostate and gently tapping it until he shot a second load all over himself.
While he was in the bathroom cleaning up Southern Divo woke up and thanked me for the night before...he also thanked me for taking care of his professor this morning without him because "I'm not really into him and I'm afraid he thinks that I am going to want something."
********************************************SFW*********************************
Around 10:30a we all started to wake up again to the warnings about the snowfall. While I have a car and don't mind driving in the city I decided that I would rather not drive in the snow to brunch especially since I really wanted a bloody mary. Both Southern Divo and ProfAK went back to Southern Divo's place to get ready and come back to my place to uber to brunch.
SATURDAY
Brunch was largely uneventful and I found myself reveling in the talk of two true opera nerds. The ease with which the professor and his student were able to talk about famous directors, companies, schools, and pieces made me feel like I was in the inner circle and the inner theater kid in me was thrilled! I really do miss performing and every once in while its fun to think about how differently my life would have been if I had pursued musical theater instead of nursing.....but I digress.
My plan for Saturday quickly changed as more and more snow started falling down. Instead of going out to a straight bar and meeting up with one of the nurses I work, I became more and more focused on a guy who started to booty call me around 7p.
Normally, anyone who would booty call me around 7p would automatically be out...for you to be so desperate and so needed so early in the night there would have to be something seriously wrong with you and I just don't need anything else seriously wrong with my life. But, something about the mounting snow Saturday evening somehow made a 7p booty call acceptable.
Then when the guy finally showed up I remembered why I had been so negligent in replying to him the week after Christmas.....his voice was a huge turn off. I know that is a really superficial and bitchy thing to say, but it is the truth. Via text this guy is wicked hot. He is kind of cocky, really aggressive, and has a somewhat expansive vocabulary. In person this guy has not only an effeminate voice, but a really really gay inflection. Now I really don't have a problem with a gay inflection at all...I have dated guys with more than just a lilt to their voice, but they never tried to Dom me. The idea that a Dom Top would have the voice of Beverly Leslie from Will and Grace.
It's a travesty really. Otherwise the guy is pretty hot....not in the traditional rippling muscles sense, but he has a swagger. Ultimately about 5 minutes into sucking his dick I got cold and bored and decided that maybe we should just cuddle and watch a crappy movie instead. Luckily, this guy is on the girthier side and an eater and I had lamb, a roast, and risotto in my fridge to appease him.
We ended up watching this terrible movie on Netflix called Maximum Ride and then simply going to sleep. Sunday morning I woke up again to a text message from my caregivers about one of the patients who was not feeling great in the snow. I responded and promptly ignored Beverly Leslie's pleas to finally get him off. It wasn't until ten o'clock when Beverly Leslie told me that he had called an Uber and was going home that I finally got out of bed and said goodbye. That will surely be the last time that I invite him over. Get tricked by that voice once or twice that's one thing, but more than four times and then you're just a fucking idiot.
SUNDAY
I had intended to spend this day trolling OkCupid or some other dating app for a date this week, but instead the snow inspired a Betty HomoMaker like experience and I ended up making muffins, and bread, and a delicious hearty beef stew. Some days when I spend the whole day alone just cooking and cleaning I find so much joy in what I do that I become ever more ok with being alone forever. I'm not sure if that is a good thing or a bad thing really, only just that its a fact.
I guess the one thing that I am going to take away from this birthday weekend is that going into 27 I am going to take a play out of a television show called Being Mary Jane, everyone in my phone is getting a nick name. Just like I give guys nick names on my blog I am going to start naming them in my phone that way so I don't forget who they are and what I like or don't like about them. Seems silly, but I am hoping that it will help prevent some PLCs like Beverly Leslie from happening again.
Well until next time.
Tchau!!!
Sunday, October 26, 2014
PTown PLCs 2014....
This is a few months late for a lot of reasons but primarily because my life has been in flux. I started a new job and I have gotten another advanced nursing certification...so like I have said before, I'm sorry I've been super busy.
I go to Ptown for my old job about three times a year to test people. This year I actually got to have some days off while I was there and in typical fashion I made some PLCs. Nothing terrible but enough to remind me that I am still a young gay man.
Prior to going down for the second time this summer for what is known in the PTown world as Carnival. I had been talking to a guy on OkC who we will call Prof. He was a little bit older and a physics professor at Tufts....in the building right near my apartment coincidentally enough. We hadn't me in person but we each were going to be in PTown for Carnival so I was told to say hi if I saw him.
Well don't you know that the very first night I am there I decided to go out alone because I had the night off and the nurses doing the clinics volunteered to drive my drunk ass home. While I was out dancing and drinking and just enjoying being in PTown and not working from across the dance floor I spotted Prof. He was dancing shirtless in a group of people who I assumed were his friends. Luckily, I had already been drinking for several hours and thought it was the perfect time to go say hello. I interjected myself right into his friend group and started dancing with him. It took a few minutes for him to recognize my face, but the minute he did his tongue was in my mouth.
That is the funny thing about PTown...a lot of the normal little courtesies that occur between gay men in the traditionally hetero culture totally melt away. It is completely acceptable for a greeting at 12a in PTown between two acquaintances to be hardcore making out and shirtless groping. No one even bats an eye. Quite frankly it would be more out of place if you tried to shake someone's hand and offered to buy them a drink.
I digress....we continued making out and dancing until the bar closed at 2a and it was time for everyone, by everyone I mean any gay man who is breathing and drunk in PTown during Carnival, to head to Spiritus for some of the world's crappiest/best drunk pizza and the closest thing to old school cruising this generation of gays is likely to ever know.
While waiting in line he was all over me. I was drunk and thought the whole thing was pretty fun. You have to remember I had just recently been told "you're great, but not great for me" from a guy who I sort of actually had a thing for at the time.
***********************NSFW*************************
One thing led to another and in my typical fashion I made a small PLC. Prof led me to the side of the pizza building and kept making out and groping me like a bear mauling a tent with hamburgers in it. At one point he started trying to blow me right on the street underneath a street lamp.
I was appalled at such exhibitionism of course and from the guys who were catcalling us both. Being the PTown vet that I am, I brought him around back of the pizza place between the driveway of the abutting house and the exit to the kitchen where there is a convenient enclosed area perfect for hooking up. At this point I let him have at my dick and was honestly disappointed at his dick sucking abilities given how eager he was to get my cock in his mouth. It was after a few minutes of what I can only classify as mediocre head that I decided to rock his world. I blew him for maybe 3 minutes....long enough to prove my skills, and then I zipped him back up.
I love the moment after I have teased someone with an amazing blowjob where they are both fascinated that your mouth was able to do that to them and totally despondent that you have stopped. Does that make me weird? Probably, but what are you going to do.
*************************SFW*********************
At this point we traded numbers with the promise to get together once more before leaving and to see each other when we returned to normal life outside of the PTown haze that so many gay men experience. I headed back to the nurses who rushed me home totally bemused by my drunken state. One of them had actually seen me on outreach making out in front of the pizza place so there were several questions regarding the mystery man. I'm a pretty open book so I shared the details and everyone was amused and excited to see what would happen on my next day out alone.
When I went out the next night I thought I would play it safe and see if I could maybe find the Prof and his friends again. However, when I was at the first bar and noticed the Prof making out with another one of his friends I quickly let that idea go as I didn't want to push something that would screw up his vacation...I mean there are plenty of men to dance and make out with in PTown, why recycle if you don't have to?
Before I knew it one of the guys dancing on one of the stages was leaning down and asking me my name. Then as soon as I had responded he jumped down and introduced himself as a Major in the US Army, hence his name Major. My face must have looked skeptical because he was quickly pulling out his wallet to prove his rank to me. I laughed and he offered to buy me a drink and then we ended up chatting for 3 hours outside on the patio. When I had finished my second or third drink he asked about where I was staying. I explained the living arrangement in PTown with the other nurses for work and how this was my night off. As soon as the words "my night off" escaped my mouth he must have seen his opening because he immediately wanted to show me the place he was staying.
I knew I had another few hours to kill before I turned into a pumpkin and would have to head back with the other nurses to the house so I conceded a visit to his place knowing full well where this all was going. His place was one of the house right on Commercial St. though? I mean that is like a PTown privilege to be invited in for something other than an orgy.
**********************NSFW************************
One thing led to another and we were hooking up in the house overlooking Commercial....a first for me for sure. Before my pants were even off I looked him in the eye and demanded that condoms be used. I'm always surprised when guys attempt to do anything with me sans condom. I mean, for motherfucking sake.....I am an HIV nurse.....seriously. The sex was appalling. He was going at it as if he had never been in an asshole before and he used a studded condom no less.
Just an aside.....As a gay man....I FUCKING HATE studded condoms. No amount of lube in the entire world can make all those little rubber balls of plastic feel good in my asshole. There is no added stimulation from my prostate, there are only all these micro tears. If I were a woman and got some kind of added clittoral stimulation I would get it but nothing about added plastic going into your ass feels good. As someone who is completely versatile I make an effort when I top to use condoms that are going to feel good for me and not hurt the person I'm fucking. When I bottom I would only hope that the top showed the same amount of courtesy.
After fucking for a few minutes the guy got close and pulled out and wanted to wait to fuck more. I decided that his cock, his studded condom, and his less than stellar moves as a top did not deserve anymore of my asshole than he had already gotten and went immediately to finish him off with my mouth. Within minutes that guy was ready to cum and blew all over his chest. I was satisfied I had done a good job. He then wanted to make sure that I got off and went to try and finger me and suck me off, but I was again unimpressed with his oral skills and decided that it wasn't 100% necessary that I cum. We showered and then just were hanging out and talking. One of his vacation buddies came home and started chatting with us too.
*************************SFW*********************
It didn't occur to me how old one would have to be to actually be a major in the army until Major's vacation buddy showed up with completely grey hair. The guy was still very physically attractive, but in a definite silver fox way. It was then about time for drunk pizza and all three of us headed over to Spiritus. I met all of their friends who were all much older and had various really important jobs. All were super nice and insisted on seeing me later or buying me drunk food. Then as we were waiting in line I finally took at one of their watches and noticed that it was almost 1:30a...which meant my chariot awaited and my glass slippers were about to disappear once again. I kissed Major goodbye and headed on my way to meet the nurses.
I suppose that's one of the funny things about PTown PLCs. They never really seem like PLCs. I mean obviously having sex with Major was a PLC and so was sucking off Prof behind the pizza place. But I had fun, I was safe, and I don't regret either thing. So there's that. I still blame both things on my lack of an appropriate love life here in Boston though....it just makes the situation easier in my mind.
I worked throughout the rest of the week. However I did find time to meet the Prof for a beach date. It was really cute. I was going to head to the clinic after spending the day tanning on the beach and he decided to meet me for a few hours. We talked about books, life, sex, pretty much everything right on the beach and he once again showed his exhibitionist side. Luckily, I was completely sober this time and I was able to keep it in check, but he was definitely into PDA. I kept getting kissed and straddled and hugged. Prof is significantly bigger than me and was able to pin me down with relative ease.
Now Prof is obviously a physics professor and is super smart, but he is also British and went to Oxford for undergrad and has a degree in philosophy as well. The man is super smart and super cute and super kinky. He seemed wonderful. However there is always this question whenever you meet anyone in PTown as to whether it is a temporary thing because of the situation or if in the real world things click too....That is going to be the next post....so keep your eyes peeled.
In the mean time....
Chau!!
I go to Ptown for my old job about three times a year to test people. This year I actually got to have some days off while I was there and in typical fashion I made some PLCs. Nothing terrible but enough to remind me that I am still a young gay man.
Prior to going down for the second time this summer for what is known in the PTown world as Carnival. I had been talking to a guy on OkC who we will call Prof. He was a little bit older and a physics professor at Tufts....in the building right near my apartment coincidentally enough. We hadn't me in person but we each were going to be in PTown for Carnival so I was told to say hi if I saw him.
Well don't you know that the very first night I am there I decided to go out alone because I had the night off and the nurses doing the clinics volunteered to drive my drunk ass home. While I was out dancing and drinking and just enjoying being in PTown and not working from across the dance floor I spotted Prof. He was dancing shirtless in a group of people who I assumed were his friends. Luckily, I had already been drinking for several hours and thought it was the perfect time to go say hello. I interjected myself right into his friend group and started dancing with him. It took a few minutes for him to recognize my face, but the minute he did his tongue was in my mouth.
That is the funny thing about PTown...a lot of the normal little courtesies that occur between gay men in the traditionally hetero culture totally melt away. It is completely acceptable for a greeting at 12a in PTown between two acquaintances to be hardcore making out and shirtless groping. No one even bats an eye. Quite frankly it would be more out of place if you tried to shake someone's hand and offered to buy them a drink.
I digress....we continued making out and dancing until the bar closed at 2a and it was time for everyone, by everyone I mean any gay man who is breathing and drunk in PTown during Carnival, to head to Spiritus for some of the world's crappiest/best drunk pizza and the closest thing to old school cruising this generation of gays is likely to ever know.
While waiting in line he was all over me. I was drunk and thought the whole thing was pretty fun. You have to remember I had just recently been told "you're great, but not great for me" from a guy who I sort of actually had a thing for at the time.
***********************NSFW*************************
One thing led to another and in my typical fashion I made a small PLC. Prof led me to the side of the pizza building and kept making out and groping me like a bear mauling a tent with hamburgers in it. At one point he started trying to blow me right on the street underneath a street lamp.
I was appalled at such exhibitionism of course and from the guys who were catcalling us both. Being the PTown vet that I am, I brought him around back of the pizza place between the driveway of the abutting house and the exit to the kitchen where there is a convenient enclosed area perfect for hooking up. At this point I let him have at my dick and was honestly disappointed at his dick sucking abilities given how eager he was to get my cock in his mouth. It was after a few minutes of what I can only classify as mediocre head that I decided to rock his world. I blew him for maybe 3 minutes....long enough to prove my skills, and then I zipped him back up.
I love the moment after I have teased someone with an amazing blowjob where they are both fascinated that your mouth was able to do that to them and totally despondent that you have stopped. Does that make me weird? Probably, but what are you going to do.
*************************SFW*********************
At this point we traded numbers with the promise to get together once more before leaving and to see each other when we returned to normal life outside of the PTown haze that so many gay men experience. I headed back to the nurses who rushed me home totally bemused by my drunken state. One of them had actually seen me on outreach making out in front of the pizza place so there were several questions regarding the mystery man. I'm a pretty open book so I shared the details and everyone was amused and excited to see what would happen on my next day out alone.
When I went out the next night I thought I would play it safe and see if I could maybe find the Prof and his friends again. However, when I was at the first bar and noticed the Prof making out with another one of his friends I quickly let that idea go as I didn't want to push something that would screw up his vacation...I mean there are plenty of men to dance and make out with in PTown, why recycle if you don't have to?
Before I knew it one of the guys dancing on one of the stages was leaning down and asking me my name. Then as soon as I had responded he jumped down and introduced himself as a Major in the US Army, hence his name Major. My face must have looked skeptical because he was quickly pulling out his wallet to prove his rank to me. I laughed and he offered to buy me a drink and then we ended up chatting for 3 hours outside on the patio. When I had finished my second or third drink he asked about where I was staying. I explained the living arrangement in PTown with the other nurses for work and how this was my night off. As soon as the words "my night off" escaped my mouth he must have seen his opening because he immediately wanted to show me the place he was staying.
I knew I had another few hours to kill before I turned into a pumpkin and would have to head back with the other nurses to the house so I conceded a visit to his place knowing full well where this all was going. His place was one of the house right on Commercial St. though? I mean that is like a PTown privilege to be invited in for something other than an orgy.
**********************NSFW************************
One thing led to another and we were hooking up in the house overlooking Commercial....a first for me for sure. Before my pants were even off I looked him in the eye and demanded that condoms be used. I'm always surprised when guys attempt to do anything with me sans condom. I mean, for motherfucking sake.....I am an HIV nurse.....seriously. The sex was appalling. He was going at it as if he had never been in an asshole before and he used a studded condom no less.
Just an aside.....As a gay man....I FUCKING HATE studded condoms. No amount of lube in the entire world can make all those little rubber balls of plastic feel good in my asshole. There is no added stimulation from my prostate, there are only all these micro tears. If I were a woman and got some kind of added clittoral stimulation I would get it but nothing about added plastic going into your ass feels good. As someone who is completely versatile I make an effort when I top to use condoms that are going to feel good for me and not hurt the person I'm fucking. When I bottom I would only hope that the top showed the same amount of courtesy.
After fucking for a few minutes the guy got close and pulled out and wanted to wait to fuck more. I decided that his cock, his studded condom, and his less than stellar moves as a top did not deserve anymore of my asshole than he had already gotten and went immediately to finish him off with my mouth. Within minutes that guy was ready to cum and blew all over his chest. I was satisfied I had done a good job. He then wanted to make sure that I got off and went to try and finger me and suck me off, but I was again unimpressed with his oral skills and decided that it wasn't 100% necessary that I cum. We showered and then just were hanging out and talking. One of his vacation buddies came home and started chatting with us too.
*************************SFW*********************
It didn't occur to me how old one would have to be to actually be a major in the army until Major's vacation buddy showed up with completely grey hair. The guy was still very physically attractive, but in a definite silver fox way. It was then about time for drunk pizza and all three of us headed over to Spiritus. I met all of their friends who were all much older and had various really important jobs. All were super nice and insisted on seeing me later or buying me drunk food. Then as we were waiting in line I finally took at one of their watches and noticed that it was almost 1:30a...which meant my chariot awaited and my glass slippers were about to disappear once again. I kissed Major goodbye and headed on my way to meet the nurses.
I suppose that's one of the funny things about PTown PLCs. They never really seem like PLCs. I mean obviously having sex with Major was a PLC and so was sucking off Prof behind the pizza place. But I had fun, I was safe, and I don't regret either thing. So there's that. I still blame both things on my lack of an appropriate love life here in Boston though....it just makes the situation easier in my mind.
I worked throughout the rest of the week. However I did find time to meet the Prof for a beach date. It was really cute. I was going to head to the clinic after spending the day tanning on the beach and he decided to meet me for a few hours. We talked about books, life, sex, pretty much everything right on the beach and he once again showed his exhibitionist side. Luckily, I was completely sober this time and I was able to keep it in check, but he was definitely into PDA. I kept getting kissed and straddled and hugged. Prof is significantly bigger than me and was able to pin me down with relative ease.
Now Prof is obviously a physics professor and is super smart, but he is also British and went to Oxford for undergrad and has a degree in philosophy as well. The man is super smart and super cute and super kinky. He seemed wonderful. However there is always this question whenever you meet anyone in PTown as to whether it is a temporary thing because of the situation or if in the real world things click too....That is going to be the next post....so keep your eyes peeled.
In the mean time....
Chau!!
Sunday, August 17, 2014
Let's Stick with Shakespeare....
As promised here is another update really soon after the first one. I have finally settled on a name for the latest guy, which of course means things are coming to a close, but I have been on a Shakespeare kick lately so let's stick with that shall we...We'll call him Othello.
So Othello is a rather short, black/brown guy, super nice, wicked hot, went to an Ivy League school and is now teaching inner city 6th graders at a charter school. Sounds perfect for me right? Ay, here's the rub....he was a patient of mine a while back....and he had an STD....and then he has been a patient of my clinics at few more times throughout his slut phase....so when he asked me out a little before the 4th of July I was hesitant but excited.
He's the guy that ran into me while I was working on the streets of PTown after my run in with the psychic and I really think I was going to project whatever that psychic had told me on the first guy who looked my way so naturally it was him. We went on a first date when we both got back to Boston; easy, iced coffee and a walk through Boston Common. He was just as nice and genuine as he seemed to be the first few times I saw him. It was at this point I learned that his favorite musical was Aida (anyone who can recall this knows the love of my life will be Radames) and his favorite piece of literature was Othello. That should have tipped me off right there as to how this would end but of course I'm an idiot.
After walking for a while we made our way down to the Coast Guard station in the North End and made out watching the boats roll by....it was super cute and nice. I told him that I liked him so I wanted to take things slow and he thought that was a good idea.
Our second date ended up being sort of odd....I wanted to go out to dinner, but he insisted that he make me dinner at his house. I don't know about any of you but this seemed to be moving super fast to me. Dinner at someone's house usually implies dessert in their bedroom...which believe me I wanted...I was just confused because I thought he was into going slow.
A quick funny aside just to explain to everyone exactly how awkward and ridiculous my dating life can be. I showed up at his apartment and ended up waiting outside for about 10 minutes before he came to the door with someone who was also waiting to go into the apartment next door clearly for a Grindr hook-up (Ah the joys of the South End). Then when I was walking downstairs into the kitchen with my bottle of wine in hand I fucking slipped. Like ass hit every stair on the way down kind of slipped until I was able to recover at the bottom (Fucking slippery Tom's Canvas shoes)....way to make an entrance right? I digress....
Dinner was wonderful...he's a great cook. I sneaked through his Itunes library to find songs he himself was the artist on and a really eclectic library of music. We finished off a bottle of wine and the conversation never really lagged at all. After dinner we ended up kissing and then he wanted to show me his room. Another sure fire sign to me that slow was not on the menu. Needless to say we ended up starting to fool around. I sucked his dick, he sucked mine, and then I sensed between him enjoying my blowjob that there was an issue. So I stopped and he said, "I thought you wanted to take it slow." At this point I agreed that I did and I sat up dick still hard and put my clothes on and apologized.
I don't want to say that it was never my intention to hook up with him because he is fucking gorgeous and that is definitely part of the attraction, but I also know that I am totally able to control myself in these situations and I was getting the sense that perhaps he does not. So I left with a good bye kiss.
That Friday, after texting off and on all week, while he was drunk I got a series of text messages telling me that he was made at me because essentially he felt that I had lied. I defended myself again with my typical, I want to take it slow, but I also don't want to deprive myself if I like someone. We decided that we would have another date on Sunday.
So Sunday came and he pushed off the time of our date due to his hangover from the night before and we ended up going to SOWA. For those not from gay Boston....SOWA is this giant flea market/summer festival/food truck thing that happens in the South End during the summer on Sundays. Its a lot of fun and the two of us really had a good time. He tried on ridiculous shorts, we both ran into people we knew, and we had something quick to drink.
At one point he turned to me and said, "I'm not trying to be rude...I know you're handsome and stuff, but literally everyone is staring at you." Quite frankly I hadn't noticed this at all....I guess I don't realize when gay men look at me anymore because it happens so frequently in Boston. I explained to him that it really had nothing to do with my looks, but rather everyone trying to figure out where they know me from. Its sort of a phenomenon. I will have gay guys on the train or out come up to me trying to figure out where they know me from and nine times out of ten it is from my job as the STD nurse. I have either tested them, treated their partner, or messaged them on one of the myriad gay sex apps to come in for testing. Unfortunately, because some of my patients come in under the influence they have a hard time remembering me in the scrubs. It is what it is I suppose. I explained that to him and he seemed to understand.
The other major occurrence during the SOWA date was as we were walking back to his place. A guy from behind called out his name...It was a typical gay-queen-possessive-he's-mine-and-who-is-this-bitch kind of call out. I didn't even flinch really. I've been in this situation so many times I don't even care. However Othello...FROZE...he looked so uncomfortable I couldn't believe it. The conversation between him and the stranger was almost forced...he did introduce me though. Then as we were walking away he quickly pulled out his phone and sent a text. I could tell he sent a text to his best friend. There was obviously something about this guy. So when we ended up sitting on a bench I point blank asked what the deal was...He lied...naturally..."Oh just the best rimjob I ever had" I told him I knew that wasn't true and that was why he texted his best friend....he relented but I gave him the out and said he didn't have to tell me. He seemed appreciative for the out and definitely took it.
He also seemed to understand the situation from our second date and was okay with it. We then planned a tentative day/time for a next date. Beehive is a nice restaurant in the South End with live music, essentially all the time while you eat. Its really a pretty nice/fun date place. We went here for our fourth date. Unfortunately I was working afterwards so I couldn't really have a drink at all but it was still a good time. However, it was midway through this date that I began to realize that perhaps I was falling harder than he was. Othello definitely bit off more than he could chew and rather than getting jealous was just starting to undermine his own involvement.
During the date I got a mini-freakout because I had made a guess about something in his life, which I was right about and he I think wanted to be more aloof about it from his reaction. Not really a big deal. Then at the end of the date I went in to kiss him before he went on his way and he totally shot me down. He insisted it wasn't me and that he wanted to take it slow and PDA freaked him out. Despite the fact that we had previously made out at the Coast Guard station on a first date. I could see the writing on the wall, but I liked him so rather than bail, which has always been my M.O. in the past I decided to try and stick it out.
After that he went on a trip to TX for a conference and was gone for a week. When I realized he was back from a FB post I decided to see if he was down to hang out. He said he was and we set up a tentative day and time. He ended up bailing, but wanted to reschedule. I should note that after he came back from TX the cute name for me changed from sexy or babe to buddy.....I'm not blind. He bailed on a second reschedule date and then one more time last night on a third reschedule.
So finally with my drunken fortitude I texted him and just asked point blank "Is this a coincidence that you keep bailing or are just not sure how to tell me that you're not into me." The honest drunken response came pretty quickly, "I'm just not into you like that. And the second date killed it, you weren't trying to take it slow." Of course....just when you think a problem is solved it never is. I tried to gracefully bow out. After all I still like him even if he doesn't like me. I can't help it. I think he's nice, attractive, and quirky but sometimes its just not there for both people. I'm honestly happy I know. My final text to him last night went something like this: "Its fine really better to just know....I suspected anyways. I hope you find what you're looking for....you deserve it." I thought it was fine. I thought I had ended it like a grown up.
Then this morning I woke up to a text message at 6 AM (probably post Saturday night hook up) that said, "Ugh...I think you're wonderful. I wanna hang out but I'm not ready to give you what you say you want."
I have NO idea what that means! I am more confused now then I have been in a long time. I don't want to continue to get strung along just so he doesn't have to feel bad about turning away someone he thinks has boyfriend potential. I don't know how or if I should respond to this message...this is definitely going to need some hag advice....but ultimately its like Bonnie Raitt says:
Until Next Time...
Chau!!
So Othello is a rather short, black/brown guy, super nice, wicked hot, went to an Ivy League school and is now teaching inner city 6th graders at a charter school. Sounds perfect for me right? Ay, here's the rub....he was a patient of mine a while back....and he had an STD....and then he has been a patient of my clinics at few more times throughout his slut phase....so when he asked me out a little before the 4th of July I was hesitant but excited.
He's the guy that ran into me while I was working on the streets of PTown after my run in with the psychic and I really think I was going to project whatever that psychic had told me on the first guy who looked my way so naturally it was him. We went on a first date when we both got back to Boston; easy, iced coffee and a walk through Boston Common. He was just as nice and genuine as he seemed to be the first few times I saw him. It was at this point I learned that his favorite musical was Aida (anyone who can recall this knows the love of my life will be Radames) and his favorite piece of literature was Othello. That should have tipped me off right there as to how this would end but of course I'm an idiot.
After walking for a while we made our way down to the Coast Guard station in the North End and made out watching the boats roll by....it was super cute and nice. I told him that I liked him so I wanted to take things slow and he thought that was a good idea.
Our second date ended up being sort of odd....I wanted to go out to dinner, but he insisted that he make me dinner at his house. I don't know about any of you but this seemed to be moving super fast to me. Dinner at someone's house usually implies dessert in their bedroom...which believe me I wanted...I was just confused because I thought he was into going slow.
A quick funny aside just to explain to everyone exactly how awkward and ridiculous my dating life can be. I showed up at his apartment and ended up waiting outside for about 10 minutes before he came to the door with someone who was also waiting to go into the apartment next door clearly for a Grindr hook-up (Ah the joys of the South End). Then when I was walking downstairs into the kitchen with my bottle of wine in hand I fucking slipped. Like ass hit every stair on the way down kind of slipped until I was able to recover at the bottom (Fucking slippery Tom's Canvas shoes)....way to make an entrance right? I digress....
Dinner was wonderful...he's a great cook. I sneaked through his Itunes library to find songs he himself was the artist on and a really eclectic library of music. We finished off a bottle of wine and the conversation never really lagged at all. After dinner we ended up kissing and then he wanted to show me his room. Another sure fire sign to me that slow was not on the menu. Needless to say we ended up starting to fool around. I sucked his dick, he sucked mine, and then I sensed between him enjoying my blowjob that there was an issue. So I stopped and he said, "I thought you wanted to take it slow." At this point I agreed that I did and I sat up dick still hard and put my clothes on and apologized.
I don't want to say that it was never my intention to hook up with him because he is fucking gorgeous and that is definitely part of the attraction, but I also know that I am totally able to control myself in these situations and I was getting the sense that perhaps he does not. So I left with a good bye kiss.
That Friday, after texting off and on all week, while he was drunk I got a series of text messages telling me that he was made at me because essentially he felt that I had lied. I defended myself again with my typical, I want to take it slow, but I also don't want to deprive myself if I like someone. We decided that we would have another date on Sunday.
So Sunday came and he pushed off the time of our date due to his hangover from the night before and we ended up going to SOWA. For those not from gay Boston....SOWA is this giant flea market/summer festival/food truck thing that happens in the South End during the summer on Sundays. Its a lot of fun and the two of us really had a good time. He tried on ridiculous shorts, we both ran into people we knew, and we had something quick to drink.
At one point he turned to me and said, "I'm not trying to be rude...I know you're handsome and stuff, but literally everyone is staring at you." Quite frankly I hadn't noticed this at all....I guess I don't realize when gay men look at me anymore because it happens so frequently in Boston. I explained to him that it really had nothing to do with my looks, but rather everyone trying to figure out where they know me from. Its sort of a phenomenon. I will have gay guys on the train or out come up to me trying to figure out where they know me from and nine times out of ten it is from my job as the STD nurse. I have either tested them, treated their partner, or messaged them on one of the myriad gay sex apps to come in for testing. Unfortunately, because some of my patients come in under the influence they have a hard time remembering me in the scrubs. It is what it is I suppose. I explained that to him and he seemed to understand.
The other major occurrence during the SOWA date was as we were walking back to his place. A guy from behind called out his name...It was a typical gay-queen-possessive-he's-mine-and-who-is-this-bitch kind of call out. I didn't even flinch really. I've been in this situation so many times I don't even care. However Othello...FROZE...he looked so uncomfortable I couldn't believe it. The conversation between him and the stranger was almost forced...he did introduce me though. Then as we were walking away he quickly pulled out his phone and sent a text. I could tell he sent a text to his best friend. There was obviously something about this guy. So when we ended up sitting on a bench I point blank asked what the deal was...He lied...naturally..."Oh just the best rimjob I ever had" I told him I knew that wasn't true and that was why he texted his best friend....he relented but I gave him the out and said he didn't have to tell me. He seemed appreciative for the out and definitely took it.
He also seemed to understand the situation from our second date and was okay with it. We then planned a tentative day/time for a next date. Beehive is a nice restaurant in the South End with live music, essentially all the time while you eat. Its really a pretty nice/fun date place. We went here for our fourth date. Unfortunately I was working afterwards so I couldn't really have a drink at all but it was still a good time. However, it was midway through this date that I began to realize that perhaps I was falling harder than he was. Othello definitely bit off more than he could chew and rather than getting jealous was just starting to undermine his own involvement.
During the date I got a mini-freakout because I had made a guess about something in his life, which I was right about and he I think wanted to be more aloof about it from his reaction. Not really a big deal. Then at the end of the date I went in to kiss him before he went on his way and he totally shot me down. He insisted it wasn't me and that he wanted to take it slow and PDA freaked him out. Despite the fact that we had previously made out at the Coast Guard station on a first date. I could see the writing on the wall, but I liked him so rather than bail, which has always been my M.O. in the past I decided to try and stick it out.
After that he went on a trip to TX for a conference and was gone for a week. When I realized he was back from a FB post I decided to see if he was down to hang out. He said he was and we set up a tentative day and time. He ended up bailing, but wanted to reschedule. I should note that after he came back from TX the cute name for me changed from sexy or babe to buddy.....I'm not blind. He bailed on a second reschedule date and then one more time last night on a third reschedule.
So finally with my drunken fortitude I texted him and just asked point blank "Is this a coincidence that you keep bailing or are just not sure how to tell me that you're not into me." The honest drunken response came pretty quickly, "I'm just not into you like that. And the second date killed it, you weren't trying to take it slow." Of course....just when you think a problem is solved it never is. I tried to gracefully bow out. After all I still like him even if he doesn't like me. I can't help it. I think he's nice, attractive, and quirky but sometimes its just not there for both people. I'm honestly happy I know. My final text to him last night went something like this: "Its fine really better to just know....I suspected anyways. I hope you find what you're looking for....you deserve it." I thought it was fine. I thought I had ended it like a grown up.
Then this morning I woke up to a text message at 6 AM (probably post Saturday night hook up) that said, "Ugh...I think you're wonderful. I wanna hang out but I'm not ready to give you what you say you want."
I have NO idea what that means! I am more confused now then I have been in a long time. I don't want to continue to get strung along just so he doesn't have to feel bad about turning away someone he thinks has boyfriend potential. I don't know how or if I should respond to this message...this is definitely going to need some hag advice....but ultimately its like Bonnie Raitt says:
Until Next Time...
Chau!!
Thursday, August 14, 2014
Sunday, May 11, 2014
Sunday, February 9, 2014
Meeting the Roommates
So I am back from FaceBiter's place and I am happy to report that it went really well. I got there a little after 7:30p as promised with a bottle of wine. We started cooking right away, well he started cooking and I chopped up some onions. While he was cooking I was just watching him in his element enjoying a glass of wine and talking it. It was pretty nice. Then throughout the time that we were making dinner, not I am using the word we very loosely here, his roommates trickled in one by one.
He lives with three different guys. One is a really nice but quiet Canadian. He has a girlfriend, but she lives in Canada....and I also think that maybe that song from the musical Avenue Q applies here so I am putting the video below for you all to enjoy:
In addition to the Canadian roommate he also has a Jewish roommate from Michigan who is pretty awkward and hipster like. He is probably the most MITesque of everyone in the apartment....He was wearing a snap button down with Unicorns patched onto the shoulders. And then there is a another roommate who actually shares my name but is from TX and has actually worked in the oil industry as well. His roommates are all really nice and seem to be just genuinely good people. In addition to his roommates I also got to meet his best girlfriend who is a fairly quiet Ginger.
Dinner was wonderful...a seafood and chicken risotto and a spinach salad. Everyone ate around the kitchen table family style and it was nice to get a feel for what he was like with his friends. I was doing my best to get along with everyone.
At some point I was made to sign an American flag that is hanging in their living room. It is apparently a tradition for anyone who comes into their house to sign the flag and then indicate where in the US/world they are from originally. I was actually glad to see that FaceBiter got along so well with his roommates. I definitely felt like a couple times my interaction with the FaceBiter was one of the first times they had ever seen two gay guys interact.
We ended up watching Team America (I know what a stupid movie) after dinner just for something to do. FaceBiter put his arm around me during the movie and one of his roommates made a comment (bro-shit) and he left his arm there and just sort of chuckled. When the movie was over all of his friends sort of filed out of the room and he turned and started making out with me. I kept kissing him for a little while and then realize I had to be getting home and I gave him a final peck good night and headed out.
Overall I think meeting his friends went over pretty well. I suppose only time will tell but I think that this may be a better match than I had at first anticipated. Hanging out together among his friends definitely seems to work. Going out to dinner also seems to work. The sex stuff needs to be worked out, but I'm sure with time that will come. The only other things to test out are how he does with my friends which is always a bit more difficult and how he does out together to some place besides dinner.
Well that's my update for now....
Until Next Time!
Chau!!
He lives with three different guys. One is a really nice but quiet Canadian. He has a girlfriend, but she lives in Canada....and I also think that maybe that song from the musical Avenue Q applies here so I am putting the video below for you all to enjoy:
In addition to the Canadian roommate he also has a Jewish roommate from Michigan who is pretty awkward and hipster like. He is probably the most MITesque of everyone in the apartment....He was wearing a snap button down with Unicorns patched onto the shoulders. And then there is a another roommate who actually shares my name but is from TX and has actually worked in the oil industry as well. His roommates are all really nice and seem to be just genuinely good people. In addition to his roommates I also got to meet his best girlfriend who is a fairly quiet Ginger.
Dinner was wonderful...a seafood and chicken risotto and a spinach salad. Everyone ate around the kitchen table family style and it was nice to get a feel for what he was like with his friends. I was doing my best to get along with everyone.
At some point I was made to sign an American flag that is hanging in their living room. It is apparently a tradition for anyone who comes into their house to sign the flag and then indicate where in the US/world they are from originally. I was actually glad to see that FaceBiter got along so well with his roommates. I definitely felt like a couple times my interaction with the FaceBiter was one of the first times they had ever seen two gay guys interact.
We ended up watching Team America (I know what a stupid movie) after dinner just for something to do. FaceBiter put his arm around me during the movie and one of his roommates made a comment (bro-shit) and he left his arm there and just sort of chuckled. When the movie was over all of his friends sort of filed out of the room and he turned and started making out with me. I kept kissing him for a little while and then realize I had to be getting home and I gave him a final peck good night and headed out.
Overall I think meeting his friends went over pretty well. I suppose only time will tell but I think that this may be a better match than I had at first anticipated. Hanging out together among his friends definitely seems to work. Going out to dinner also seems to work. The sex stuff needs to be worked out, but I'm sure with time that will come. The only other things to test out are how he does with my friends which is always a bit more difficult and how he does out together to some place besides dinner.
Well that's my update for now....
Until Next Time!
Chau!!
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