Since I got back from PTown I have attempted to be on my best behavior. I've also been working enough that I haven't really even had time to think about anything other than my patients. I did get the chance to actually go on OKCupid and talk to a few new people though....some of them even seem normal. But in the midst of my decision to enter back into the world of online dating I got a message from Hickey....
Yep that's right, Hickey, the guy who sent me 11 text messages in a row at 5am, the guy who stormed out of a Panera because "I'm not through, we're through", the guy who hated the idea of me dating someone else so much they tried to give me a hickey to get someone I was on a date with to ask about it....
Most sane people would ignore a message from someone this crazy....Not Me! I decided that I should answer. He seemed genuinely interested in just chatting. Just chatting of course led to him asking for my number again, which means he must have deleted it from his phone, and texting on the phone led to the real intention of the online dating message. Hickey is looking for a fuck buddy.
I think finally being out and still not having a steady boyfriend that he can have sex with sort of bothers him. He started insinuating that he would be down to just get together every now and then and fuck and to be honest I really did think this was a good idea at first. We had great sexual chemistry. The sex was NEVER the problem....it was the pillow talk afterwards that always caused issues.
Ultimately the texts turned into sexts which turned into me....home alone wishing this guy would come over so I could fuck him senseless. It was at this point I realized that this motherfucker was crazy enough to try and use sex as a ploy to get back into contact with me again. After being really clear that this would be nothing other than sex and I was not interested in it going further he finally started to back off of the idea eventually.
I honestly feel bad about the whole situation. I wish I could make myself like this guy more than I do. I wish that I could just have a boyfriend that meant nothing to me like so many other people do, but I just can't. I have a few friends who think that because I go on dates with people and never make them an official boyfriend I must be a slut....its actually quite the opposite I think. I refuse to give someone a special place in my life if there is no chance in hell that it is going to work out beyond the next two weeks. I have to see that this could for longer than the next couple months and however long it takes until the sex becomes boring. I think that is the biggest challenge. I don't think there is anything wrong with having sex outside of a relationship. If I have been on dates with people I need to know that the sex stuff works well before I continue to date them and especially before I choose to be in a relationship with them. And now I am rambling....
I guess there really isn't much else to say about this situation. Now I will just have to continue to wait until something comes along too good or too bad to pass up.
Chau!!!
Thursday, July 18, 2013
Monday, July 15, 2013
S/P PTown
Its been a week since I got back from PTown and I still have not reported on the goings on yet....so here goes nothing I guess...
The very first night I ended up spending all alone in this giant Brady Bunch style house waiting for all of my coworkers to arrive.....Wait I don't think I explained this yet....So its like a working vacation. A group of the nurses I work with, along with support staff, phlebotomists, registration, and other, all venture down to PTown rent a house and do free STD/HIV testing for a week. Its a little like Scrubs meets the Real World but televised on Logo if that even makes sense. I digress...so I am the first one in the house and instead of going out and being crazy I decided to take it easy. I got dinner but then I just went home and read...How boring I know, but exactly what I needed before the week began.
And then it started. We saw a ton of patients throughout the course of 5 days....there were probably only one or two that I was actually attracted to and they weren't my patients so it actually worked out rather nicely for me, I got to look and not feel guilty for checking out my patient.
We always do a big clinic on the day of the Fourth of July. This year was no different. An organization we work with usually gets together a group of attractive guys to try and find us patients clad in very little clothing. Again this year was no different. What was different is one of the outreach workers kept hitting on me. He was probably 6 feet tall, muscular, very hairy, very blue collar, wearing a blue bandana on his head and let's just say his speedo-runneth-over.
The first time he made a comment about me I totally ignored it. I figured it was all in good fun since it was in front of a group of the outreach workers, no harm no foul. Then he made another comment as he was walking by me almost under his breath. It was at that point I thought he might actually be serious. After the clinic we all, nurses and outreach workers went out to dinner together. I purposely sat at the opposite end of the table as the outreach workers surrounded by fellow nurses. Throughout the course of dinner several of the nurses chided me about being bitchy due to my lack of action lately and I chided back that we couldn't all be lucky enough to be married and get it regularly. Then as dinner was coming to a close one of the other nurses really wanted me to go out with her and meet her cousin. Seeing as I was still in scrubs and it was Ptown I thought this probably wasn't the best idea....I mean who goes out in scrubs in Ptown.
Cut to me a few shots later being goaded by my boss and the other nurses and the outreach workers to go out for just one drink. Eventually I broke down and agreed and who of course was right by my side the minute I made the decision to go out but the burly outreach worker....let's call him Trailer Pump (I'll explain later). The few of us made our way to the Crown and Anchor where of course the Trailer Pump began pretty aggressively making moves and I can't say I was hating it....it was also here that I began to see the familiar pattern reemerge.
Trailer Pump didn't have anything to drink at the bar because he was in recovery. From what you ask??? So did I and I give you the same answer I got.....EVERYTHING! Great!! However, on the bright side, I was invited along with another nurse to go along with Trailer Pump to visit four of his sponsees at one of the other places. He had sponsees, not just one but several.....that must mean that he is solid in his recovery from everything....right??? That's what I thought too.
At some point we ended up back at his place, a trailer in the campground right next to the house we rent, for a fire. When we arrived I was still having pretty mixed feelings about the whole situation...he was an outreach worker with a substance abuse history, but he was clean, had sponsors, and there was just something about him.....Then he started building the fire....I mean literally tearing pieces of wood apart with his bare hands completely shirtless....he could have come straight out of some old gay porn....It was hot! I couldn't deny it.
So we made our way inside the trailer and that's when I saw to the right of the bed the giant pump bottle of lube. That's right the Costco size bottle of lube! Talk about a RED FUCKING FLAG! It was at that point that I started laying down the ground rules. "WE are NOT HAVING SEX! Just not going to happen we can fool around, but we have to work together tomorrow and you have a giant pump bottle of lube so its just not happening." He nodded his head as he understood.
Then almost on cue he smiled and laughed and said....well let me show you the bathing suit I am wearing tomorrow then. That's when I got the full show. The BIGGEST shock...the speedo that runneth over was the result of a pretty tight cockring not an enormous cock. I should have known better. Things continued on...we fooled around a bit he got really into rimming me despite the fact that I told him I was not going to reciprocate the favor, "I fucking don't care I love the way it tastes"....I'm telling you there is something about a man's man who is just that aggressive that really does it for me every once and a while.
After an hour or so of fooling around I decided I needed to speed things along so I began pulling out some of my tricks and ultimately just ended up asking him what I could do to hasten the situation....and then I got the other really fun answer of the night...."Well if I can't fuck you can I fuck your thighs?"
I was dumbfounded....no one had ever asked me to do that before.....EVER! It gives a whole new meaning to the phrase there is a lot you can do without going all the way. I played soccer for years so I would say I have pretty strong thighs and he was really into it. So he laid down a towel, lubed up my thighs, and just had at it. It lasted all of about 2 minutes and that is being generous....then he came all over my inner thighs. He then flipped me over and began licking them like they were the best thing he'd ever tasted. Who knew? He went out for a cigarette and insisted he would finish me when he got back in. Then he put on a my scrubs which barely fit him and headed outside (sort of looked like this). I really do think he had some kind of a nurse fetish...but besides that he came back in and was true to his word about finishing me off.
Laying in a pose, with a similar amount of body hair, similar to the famous photo of Burt Reynold's in People, the post-orgasm pillow talk that every guy I hook up with seems to be so fond of began. He started talking about his ex-boyfriend and his life in St. Louis. The more he talked the happier I became that I had insisted we didn't have sex. This guy had quite the life and definitely brought with him enough baggage to sink the Titanic. That being said there was something sweet about him and trusting me to know all this stuff....I feel like no matter what is going on in my life things always come back to me being a nurse....I wish that would stop sometimes. I mean not all the time, I just wish I got a break every once in a great blue moon from that.
Eventually I got the guy to bring me back to the house as everyone else was already home at this point and I was going to need some rest for the clinic the next day. I slept and a few of the other nurses who had gone out with us and left me with Trailer Pump asked how things went. I informed them that nothing much had happened and we moved on with our day and headed to clinic.
When Trailer Pump arrived I got one of the most confused greetings I have ever received in my entire life. He hugged me and went in for a kiss, which I of course cheeked as I was at work and didn't really think that was appropriate especially from an outreach worker I had really just met the previous day. As the day progressed I was swamped with patients and Trailer Pump was clearly unhappy that I was not paying him the attention that I was paying to my patients and then all of a sudden he was gone. I didn't see where he went and I have no idea what happened. All I know is one of the other nurses thinks that they saw him and he appeared to be rather high....I'm hoping that this isn't the case....I feel like if the guy was going to relapse he was going to do it whether or not I paid him any attention....right?? At least that is what I am telling myself.
The rest of the trip went off without a hitch. I spent some time at the beach. I had brunch and went shopping with a few of the nurses and just generally enjoyed the atmosphere of Commercial St. during the day and chose to ignore the debuacherous ambience that tends to accompany the moonlight hours on Commercial.
All in all it was a pretty fun trip. I had just enough fun to tide me over for a little while and made arguably no PLCs.....Not bad....
I guess until next time!
Chau!
The very first night I ended up spending all alone in this giant Brady Bunch style house waiting for all of my coworkers to arrive.....Wait I don't think I explained this yet....So its like a working vacation. A group of the nurses I work with, along with support staff, phlebotomists, registration, and other, all venture down to PTown rent a house and do free STD/HIV testing for a week. Its a little like Scrubs meets the Real World but televised on Logo if that even makes sense. I digress...so I am the first one in the house and instead of going out and being crazy I decided to take it easy. I got dinner but then I just went home and read...How boring I know, but exactly what I needed before the week began.
And then it started. We saw a ton of patients throughout the course of 5 days....there were probably only one or two that I was actually attracted to and they weren't my patients so it actually worked out rather nicely for me, I got to look and not feel guilty for checking out my patient.
We always do a big clinic on the day of the Fourth of July. This year was no different. An organization we work with usually gets together a group of attractive guys to try and find us patients clad in very little clothing. Again this year was no different. What was different is one of the outreach workers kept hitting on me. He was probably 6 feet tall, muscular, very hairy, very blue collar, wearing a blue bandana on his head and let's just say his speedo-runneth-over.
The first time he made a comment about me I totally ignored it. I figured it was all in good fun since it was in front of a group of the outreach workers, no harm no foul. Then he made another comment as he was walking by me almost under his breath. It was at that point I thought he might actually be serious. After the clinic we all, nurses and outreach workers went out to dinner together. I purposely sat at the opposite end of the table as the outreach workers surrounded by fellow nurses. Throughout the course of dinner several of the nurses chided me about being bitchy due to my lack of action lately and I chided back that we couldn't all be lucky enough to be married and get it regularly. Then as dinner was coming to a close one of the other nurses really wanted me to go out with her and meet her cousin. Seeing as I was still in scrubs and it was Ptown I thought this probably wasn't the best idea....I mean who goes out in scrubs in Ptown.
Cut to me a few shots later being goaded by my boss and the other nurses and the outreach workers to go out for just one drink. Eventually I broke down and agreed and who of course was right by my side the minute I made the decision to go out but the burly outreach worker....let's call him Trailer Pump (I'll explain later). The few of us made our way to the Crown and Anchor where of course the Trailer Pump began pretty aggressively making moves and I can't say I was hating it....it was also here that I began to see the familiar pattern reemerge.
Trailer Pump didn't have anything to drink at the bar because he was in recovery. From what you ask??? So did I and I give you the same answer I got.....EVERYTHING! Great!! However, on the bright side, I was invited along with another nurse to go along with Trailer Pump to visit four of his sponsees at one of the other places. He had sponsees, not just one but several.....that must mean that he is solid in his recovery from everything....right??? That's what I thought too.
At some point we ended up back at his place, a trailer in the campground right next to the house we rent, for a fire. When we arrived I was still having pretty mixed feelings about the whole situation...he was an outreach worker with a substance abuse history, but he was clean, had sponsors, and there was just something about him.....Then he started building the fire....I mean literally tearing pieces of wood apart with his bare hands completely shirtless....he could have come straight out of some old gay porn....It was hot! I couldn't deny it.
So we made our way inside the trailer and that's when I saw to the right of the bed the giant pump bottle of lube. That's right the Costco size bottle of lube! Talk about a RED FUCKING FLAG! It was at that point that I started laying down the ground rules. "WE are NOT HAVING SEX! Just not going to happen we can fool around, but we have to work together tomorrow and you have a giant pump bottle of lube so its just not happening." He nodded his head as he understood.
***********************************NSFW****************************************
After an hour or so of fooling around I decided I needed to speed things along so I began pulling out some of my tricks and ultimately just ended up asking him what I could do to hasten the situation....and then I got the other really fun answer of the night...."Well if I can't fuck you can I fuck your thighs?"
I was dumbfounded....no one had ever asked me to do that before.....EVER! It gives a whole new meaning to the phrase there is a lot you can do without going all the way. I played soccer for years so I would say I have pretty strong thighs and he was really into it. So he laid down a towel, lubed up my thighs, and just had at it. It lasted all of about 2 minutes and that is being generous....then he came all over my inner thighs. He then flipped me over and began licking them like they were the best thing he'd ever tasted. Who knew? He went out for a cigarette and insisted he would finish me when he got back in. Then he put on a my scrubs which barely fit him and headed outside (sort of looked like this). I really do think he had some kind of a nurse fetish...but besides that he came back in and was true to his word about finishing me off.
**********************************SFW*****************************************
Eventually I got the guy to bring me back to the house as everyone else was already home at this point and I was going to need some rest for the clinic the next day. I slept and a few of the other nurses who had gone out with us and left me with Trailer Pump asked how things went. I informed them that nothing much had happened and we moved on with our day and headed to clinic.
When Trailer Pump arrived I got one of the most confused greetings I have ever received in my entire life. He hugged me and went in for a kiss, which I of course cheeked as I was at work and didn't really think that was appropriate especially from an outreach worker I had really just met the previous day. As the day progressed I was swamped with patients and Trailer Pump was clearly unhappy that I was not paying him the attention that I was paying to my patients and then all of a sudden he was gone. I didn't see where he went and I have no idea what happened. All I know is one of the other nurses thinks that they saw him and he appeared to be rather high....I'm hoping that this isn't the case....I feel like if the guy was going to relapse he was going to do it whether or not I paid him any attention....right?? At least that is what I am telling myself.
The rest of the trip went off without a hitch. I spent some time at the beach. I had brunch and went shopping with a few of the nurses and just generally enjoyed the atmosphere of Commercial St. during the day and chose to ignore the debuacherous ambience that tends to accompany the moonlight hours on Commercial.
All in all it was a pretty fun trip. I had just enough fun to tide me over for a little while and made arguably no PLCs.....Not bad....
I guess until next time!
Chau!
Monday, July 1, 2013
A Week Away
And today I am leaving Boston and my home to go spend a week in Provincetown.
A few updates before I go and hopefully one or two after the trip....God willing that is....
The Harvard Gaymer and I actually spent quite a bit of time talking online the other night. We even skyped....so yes that means exactly what you think it means. I also found out that he is a bit of an exhibitionist....That's right he has a cam4 account.....At first I was concerned about this....and then I realized that this could be the reason that I continue talking to him despite the fact that he is a virgin. I mean if you're a virgin, but you are curious and courageous enough to go on cam4 and share your goods for all the world then I should at least consider the possibility that you might be someone who is right up my alley, right? I mean he is a total dork, goes to Harvard, is a tall black guy, and has a great body, and is a little freaky....but not too much...he has to have one thing wrong right...I guess that might be his age and virginity....but maybe I will stick it out and see what happens. Its still nice to have someone to talk to I guess.
And the other update which is just getting silly....
Last night I got a message from KFlip..."You working tonight? Let's go out! My BF is in San Fran pride." I honestly don't even know how to take these kinds of messages. I think because I am one of the few out people that this guy knows he thinks I am always up to go out with him when he, and I quote, "Feels like being 'gay'" He actually sent that to me in a text message. I mean come on dude....you are 26....man up and come out and go to a gay bar by yourself if you're that desperate! I thought I made it pretty clear that nothing was going to happen now that I knew he had a boyfriend but apparently he didn't quite get the message. So I told him I was away....which is true I was packing to go and there was no way in hell I was going to go out....I had already cancelled plans with my lesbians and they definitely take priority over him so....that's that I guess.
And now I am just waiting to get my car fixed so that I can head down to PTown. I'm working all week testing people of course, but I am going to get a few chances to go out and just relax which is something I haven't done in quite a long time. I'm looking forward to being down there and hopefully getting hit on by someone who is around my age and at least attractive...but lets be real I would take getting hit on by someone much older and unattractive if they are going to buy me a drink. Does that mean I have low standards or I'm just smart?? I'm going with smart/frugal....
Well I will write when I get back of what should be a fun week.
Until Later...
Chau!
A few updates before I go and hopefully one or two after the trip....God willing that is....
The Harvard Gaymer and I actually spent quite a bit of time talking online the other night. We even skyped....so yes that means exactly what you think it means. I also found out that he is a bit of an exhibitionist....That's right he has a cam4 account.....At first I was concerned about this....and then I realized that this could be the reason that I continue talking to him despite the fact that he is a virgin. I mean if you're a virgin, but you are curious and courageous enough to go on cam4 and share your goods for all the world then I should at least consider the possibility that you might be someone who is right up my alley, right? I mean he is a total dork, goes to Harvard, is a tall black guy, and has a great body, and is a little freaky....but not too much...he has to have one thing wrong right...I guess that might be his age and virginity....but maybe I will stick it out and see what happens. Its still nice to have someone to talk to I guess.
And the other update which is just getting silly....
Last night I got a message from KFlip..."You working tonight? Let's go out! My BF is in San Fran pride." I honestly don't even know how to take these kinds of messages. I think because I am one of the few out people that this guy knows he thinks I am always up to go out with him when he, and I quote, "Feels like being 'gay'" He actually sent that to me in a text message. I mean come on dude....you are 26....man up and come out and go to a gay bar by yourself if you're that desperate! I thought I made it pretty clear that nothing was going to happen now that I knew he had a boyfriend but apparently he didn't quite get the message. So I told him I was away....which is true I was packing to go and there was no way in hell I was going to go out....I had already cancelled plans with my lesbians and they definitely take priority over him so....that's that I guess.
And now I am just waiting to get my car fixed so that I can head down to PTown. I'm working all week testing people of course, but I am going to get a few chances to go out and just relax which is something I haven't done in quite a long time. I'm looking forward to being down there and hopefully getting hit on by someone who is around my age and at least attractive...but lets be real I would take getting hit on by someone much older and unattractive if they are going to buy me a drink. Does that mean I have low standards or I'm just smart?? I'm going with smart/frugal....
Well I will write when I get back of what should be a fun week.
Until Later...
Chau!
Thursday, June 20, 2013
When it Rains....it Fucking Pours...And Then You Occasionally Get Struck By Lightning
I guess this is more of an update post than a really great one in general, but I haven't posted anything in a while so I figure I needed to say something. First let me blame my lack of posts on two things: 1. I just got a new job and have been working pretty regularly to try and stay on top of things and 2. I haven't even had a probably propositions for a date in over a month now.
Let's start with the good news. By some weird and strange coincidence I am still talking with and still have a thing for the Harvard Gaymer. We haven't gone on a date in over a month and I still feel inclined to text him or gChat him regularly and it always brings a smile to my face when I realize I got a text from him. I know this is stupid and sappy and definitely not the reason most people read this blog, but its the truth. I was going to try and phase him out throughout the summer because he was a virgin and so much younger than me but all of my friends have convinced me of what a bad idea that would be. I guess they are right to when it come down to it. This is the first guy in a long time that is low maintenance, into me, smart, funny, and that I am actually into on some level. So I guess the old motto, If It Ain't Broke Don't Fix It sort of applies although I guess it should be switched around a little to be more apropos, If It Ain't Broke Don't Fuck It Up. And thus ends the good news....
Onto the almost newsworthy updates....I've heard from two guys that I have been on dates with in the past within the past 3 weeks. Like the title says when it rains it pours....
The first guy to randomly message me out of the blue was Mereb...For whatever reason this motherfucker keeps just popping up back in my life. He Facebook messaged me a few weeks ago just asking me how I was doing. I responded very cordially. A brief and curt conversation began and he intimated that he wanted to get together for coffee or drinks to catch up. Being the asshole that I am and remembering full well that this was the guy who was going to FIX me I responded, "I thought that was what we were doing." After a few more knife twists in the conversation Mereb finally took a hint.
Here is what I really don't understand. You stopped dating me because you found the best boyfriend ever. He broke up with you and you immediately Facebook messaged me. In the course of that conversation you told me that you were planning on leaving the city in about a month or two. The last time you spoke to me before this you attempted to booty call me and then told me you were going to fix me. WHY on EARTH would I assume you were looking for anything other than to get your dick wet? Also if I rejected you as a booty call the last time what makes you think that I would change my mind. Do I come across as that desperate? I didn't think so, but who knows.
The next former guy that showed up literally out of the blue was KFlip. The weekend of Boston Pride I got a text message asking me out again and apologizing for not being in touch in so long. If I am being honest I was almost giddy when I heard from KFlip. He was such a good guy, cute, nice, had a good job, intelligent, his biggest flaw was that he wasn't out and wasn't comfortable really dating a guy. I honestly thought that after a few months he had worked on coming out and was finally ready to date someone for real. I was super excited.
We made plans to meet the Saturday night of Pride weekend to go out for drinks at a club. Around 10 o'clock I was still at work so I called to cancel/reschedule. He was more than happy to put it off until the Sunday. So we planned to do brunch and then the Back Bay block party. I thought that it would be a really cute date. We originally headed over to Thornton's which was closed, and then we went over to the Trident Cafe where the wait was WICKED long. Finally he suggested we go to CafeTeria, a really gay/shi shi brunch place on Newbury St. We ordered and split a jug of Bloody Marys and everything was going well. We were laughing there was some subtle arm touching and flirting. Then the check came and he insisted on paying. I sneaked a peak at the bill around fifty bucks so I thought, "Just as I remembered a gentleman. Nice! Score!" Then while the card was being run I asked about how else his life was going....
"Oh well I have a boyfriend now." It was like the scene in Jane Eyre when the tree is struck by lightning and starts bursting into flames.
Seriously??? Then the best part was he followed that up with...."He isn't out either so it works out really well. And I've been faithful." WHAT THE FUCK??!?! You just paid for another guys expensive brunch, and are planning on going to a gay block party with him.
It was at this point that I turned into the bitter asshole that most people know me as. "Oh that's funny. Does he look as gay as you though because its not like he is that in the closet then?" I knew full well this was like pulling the cornerstone out of an archway and I was about to watch this man crumble in front of me but I couldn't help myself. What dickhead asks someone out on a date and halfway through insists its not a date? Really? REALLY? Then I spent the next half an hour explaining to KFlip how any homo with a halfway decent gaydar would spot him in a second and now in another second that he was a dick hungry bottom. I know I'm an asshole, but I really just couldn't help myself.
We went to the block party and he spent maybe a total of 45 minutes waiting for it to fill up....we were there pretty early.....and then he took off as soon as more than 25 people were in the vicinity. I didn't leave. Instead I just sat on the curb and drank and watched the festivities. I gave off a fuck off vibe to so no one even came near me. I called my lesbians to come but they were busy so eventually I just left, happy with the buzz I had gotten mid-afternoon.
I think that is pretty much it for now. I'm going to continue to talk to the Harvard Gaymer and then see what else happens this summer. I should be going to PTown for the week of the Fourth of July for work so who knows maybe I will fall madly in love with a stranger I meet down there. Maybe I won't meet a single person....maybe I'll meet a few (probably not since its a work trip but a boy can hope right).
Well until next time....
Chau!!
Let's start with the good news. By some weird and strange coincidence I am still talking with and still have a thing for the Harvard Gaymer. We haven't gone on a date in over a month and I still feel inclined to text him or gChat him regularly and it always brings a smile to my face when I realize I got a text from him. I know this is stupid and sappy and definitely not the reason most people read this blog, but its the truth. I was going to try and phase him out throughout the summer because he was a virgin and so much younger than me but all of my friends have convinced me of what a bad idea that would be. I guess they are right to when it come down to it. This is the first guy in a long time that is low maintenance, into me, smart, funny, and that I am actually into on some level. So I guess the old motto, If It Ain't Broke Don't Fix It sort of applies although I guess it should be switched around a little to be more apropos, If It Ain't Broke Don't Fuck It Up. And thus ends the good news....
Onto the almost newsworthy updates....I've heard from two guys that I have been on dates with in the past within the past 3 weeks. Like the title says when it rains it pours....
The first guy to randomly message me out of the blue was Mereb...For whatever reason this motherfucker keeps just popping up back in my life. He Facebook messaged me a few weeks ago just asking me how I was doing. I responded very cordially. A brief and curt conversation began and he intimated that he wanted to get together for coffee or drinks to catch up. Being the asshole that I am and remembering full well that this was the guy who was going to FIX me I responded, "I thought that was what we were doing." After a few more knife twists in the conversation Mereb finally took a hint.
Here is what I really don't understand. You stopped dating me because you found the best boyfriend ever. He broke up with you and you immediately Facebook messaged me. In the course of that conversation you told me that you were planning on leaving the city in about a month or two. The last time you spoke to me before this you attempted to booty call me and then told me you were going to fix me. WHY on EARTH would I assume you were looking for anything other than to get your dick wet? Also if I rejected you as a booty call the last time what makes you think that I would change my mind. Do I come across as that desperate? I didn't think so, but who knows.
The next former guy that showed up literally out of the blue was KFlip. The weekend of Boston Pride I got a text message asking me out again and apologizing for not being in touch in so long. If I am being honest I was almost giddy when I heard from KFlip. He was such a good guy, cute, nice, had a good job, intelligent, his biggest flaw was that he wasn't out and wasn't comfortable really dating a guy. I honestly thought that after a few months he had worked on coming out and was finally ready to date someone for real. I was super excited.
We made plans to meet the Saturday night of Pride weekend to go out for drinks at a club. Around 10 o'clock I was still at work so I called to cancel/reschedule. He was more than happy to put it off until the Sunday. So we planned to do brunch and then the Back Bay block party. I thought that it would be a really cute date. We originally headed over to Thornton's which was closed, and then we went over to the Trident Cafe where the wait was WICKED long. Finally he suggested we go to CafeTeria, a really gay/shi shi brunch place on Newbury St. We ordered and split a jug of Bloody Marys and everything was going well. We were laughing there was some subtle arm touching and flirting. Then the check came and he insisted on paying. I sneaked a peak at the bill around fifty bucks so I thought, "Just as I remembered a gentleman. Nice! Score!" Then while the card was being run I asked about how else his life was going....
"Oh well I have a boyfriend now." It was like the scene in Jane Eyre when the tree is struck by lightning and starts bursting into flames.
Seriously??? Then the best part was he followed that up with...."He isn't out either so it works out really well. And I've been faithful." WHAT THE FUCK??!?! You just paid for another guys expensive brunch, and are planning on going to a gay block party with him.
It was at this point that I turned into the bitter asshole that most people know me as. "Oh that's funny. Does he look as gay as you though because its not like he is that in the closet then?" I knew full well this was like pulling the cornerstone out of an archway and I was about to watch this man crumble in front of me but I couldn't help myself. What dickhead asks someone out on a date and halfway through insists its not a date? Really? REALLY? Then I spent the next half an hour explaining to KFlip how any homo with a halfway decent gaydar would spot him in a second and now in another second that he was a dick hungry bottom. I know I'm an asshole, but I really just couldn't help myself.
We went to the block party and he spent maybe a total of 45 minutes waiting for it to fill up....we were there pretty early.....and then he took off as soon as more than 25 people were in the vicinity. I didn't leave. Instead I just sat on the curb and drank and watched the festivities. I gave off a fuck off vibe to so no one even came near me. I called my lesbians to come but they were busy so eventually I just left, happy with the buzz I had gotten mid-afternoon.
I think that is pretty much it for now. I'm going to continue to talk to the Harvard Gaymer and then see what else happens this summer. I should be going to PTown for the week of the Fourth of July for work so who knows maybe I will fall madly in love with a stranger I meet down there. Maybe I won't meet a single person....maybe I'll meet a few (probably not since its a work trip but a boy can hope right).
Well until next time....
Chau!!
Monday, June 3, 2013
Summertime and the Livin is Easy.....So Far...
Its officially the beginning of June which means that it is officially the beginning of summer....And so far I have nothing to really report.
I recently graduated...YAY!!....and started a new job that is sort of an old job, but in either sense I haven't really had time for dating lately. The good news is that I am now officially a nurse and officially a grown up and officially still alone, but its all good.
Oddly enough I recently downloaded Grindr to my work phone so that we can use it for targeted outreach for at-risk gay guys. I've got to tell you that seeing Grindr in real life makes me so happy that I never used it in my personal life. I mean I can definitely understand the convenience of such an app, but just the thought of randomly fucking someone who I just met online without even so much as going for a drink first is just something that I'm not interested in....does that make me a prude? I don't think so, but I guess its all in your own perspective.
The Harvard Gaymer and I still talk pretty regularly. I told my friends about him and let them read some of the texts between the two of us and they all think that I need to give him a chance. Honestly he is pretty awesome. He is nice, a total dork, and really smart and super into me.....all positive attributes. I keep coming back to the fact that he isn't out and he is a virgin though. So maybe I am being ridiculous in thinking that because he is a virgin I can't continue dating him, but I really can't continue dating someone who is in the closet. I've been there and tried that and I KNOW it DOES NOT work! It might work for some people, but I am way too comfortable with myself to allow the person I am dating to not be okay with their own sexuality. Maybe I am over-thinking everything....I think I am just going to see what happens with this one. I'm still not going to limit myself, but I am definitely going to stay in contact.
In other interesting news....Mereb randomly facebook messaged me yesterday asking how my summer is going. I'm not really sure how I should take this.... In addition to the random facebook message I also learned a few months ago that another nurse and I are eskimo brothers via Mereb and it is quite possible that we were seeing him at the same time. So yea....
I don't want to be rude to Mereb, because that really isn't my style, but this time around I am definitely keeping my guard up. I'm not going to just let him in....I'm going to show him that he did FIX me a little bit.....I know enough now not to think he is a nice and kind as he lets on when he messages me.
I'm hoping that this summer I am going to be able to enjoy my life as a new graduate in the city. Make some good life choices and some fun life choices and avoid the poor life choice altogether. I'm going to spend some time at the beach and the bars and see what life has in store for me. You never know who you might meet right?
Until Next Time!
Chau!!
I recently graduated...YAY!!....and started a new job that is sort of an old job, but in either sense I haven't really had time for dating lately. The good news is that I am now officially a nurse and officially a grown up and officially still alone, but its all good.
Oddly enough I recently downloaded Grindr to my work phone so that we can use it for targeted outreach for at-risk gay guys. I've got to tell you that seeing Grindr in real life makes me so happy that I never used it in my personal life. I mean I can definitely understand the convenience of such an app, but just the thought of randomly fucking someone who I just met online without even so much as going for a drink first is just something that I'm not interested in....does that make me a prude? I don't think so, but I guess its all in your own perspective.
The Harvard Gaymer and I still talk pretty regularly. I told my friends about him and let them read some of the texts between the two of us and they all think that I need to give him a chance. Honestly he is pretty awesome. He is nice, a total dork, and really smart and super into me.....all positive attributes. I keep coming back to the fact that he isn't out and he is a virgin though. So maybe I am being ridiculous in thinking that because he is a virgin I can't continue dating him, but I really can't continue dating someone who is in the closet. I've been there and tried that and I KNOW it DOES NOT work! It might work for some people, but I am way too comfortable with myself to allow the person I am dating to not be okay with their own sexuality. Maybe I am over-thinking everything....I think I am just going to see what happens with this one. I'm still not going to limit myself, but I am definitely going to stay in contact.
In other interesting news....Mereb randomly facebook messaged me yesterday asking how my summer is going. I'm not really sure how I should take this.... In addition to the random facebook message I also learned a few months ago that another nurse and I are eskimo brothers via Mereb and it is quite possible that we were seeing him at the same time. So yea....
I don't want to be rude to Mereb, because that really isn't my style, but this time around I am definitely keeping my guard up. I'm not going to just let him in....I'm going to show him that he did FIX me a little bit.....I know enough now not to think he is a nice and kind as he lets on when he messages me.
I'm hoping that this summer I am going to be able to enjoy my life as a new graduate in the city. Make some good life choices and some fun life choices and avoid the poor life choice altogether. I'm going to spend some time at the beach and the bars and see what life has in store for me. You never know who you might meet right?
Until Next Time!
Chau!!
Monday, May 13, 2013
Once a Gay Starter Kit Always a Gay Starter Kit....
I went on another date with the Harvard Gaymer last Thursday. It was actually super cute! We went to Davis Square to the old theater there to see a movie at like 4 in the afternoon. The tickets were cheap and the popcorn was covered in butter and the theater is just awesome, old and pretty.
So we decided to go and see Evil Dead. We were literally the only two people in the ENTIRE theater. So naturally we sat right in the middle with our feet up. He wrapped his arm around me in a very 80's Rom Com sort of a move and then just pulled me in to be lying with him as the movie progressed. It was really sweet. Naturally it made me a little uncomfortable to be this relationshippy so I kissed him. And then I kept kissing him. And then I continued to kiss him. And before I knew it we were making out while the Evil Dead was unfolding in the background.
After a little while hands began to wander and so did other parts of our body. Rather than go into too much detail, let me just say that it was probably a really good thing that we were the only people in the movie theater. Let me also say that for the second time in my life I had now both given and received blowjobs while some sort of horror film or TV show was going on in the background. Its really like Halloween is my spirit sex animal or something. I digress, after a few minutes of really inappropriate action in a movie theater I realized what was happening and insisted it stop. We went back to just sitting intimately close to each other, or as intimately close as one can get with a giant arm rest and cup holder in between two people.
The movie proceeded without any further action between the two of us and quite frankly without much action in the film either. The movie sort of sucked....which was okay because so did the Gaymer, but I would not recommend spending my money to go and see it.
After the movie we ended up just walking and chatting in the rain around Davis Square. Again it was very cute and very much like a relationship. He held an umbrella and insisted I walk under it. We grabbed some coffee and just chatted about our lives.
During our talk he began telling me about his summer plans. He also informed me that he finally came out to his sister. Now this is a big deal for a couple reasons. One, when I first went on a date with the Harvard Gaymer he was pretty insistent that he was bisexual. Two, Harvard Gaymer is originally from outside of Atlanta and is black. Both of these things are fascinating to me because before he met me he didn't intend to do any of these things. So it appears that once again I am helping someone find themselves and slowly but surely become more comfortable with their sexuality.
GREAT!! AWESOME!! FUCKING BRILLIANT!!!
I know that all seems a bit much, but it really is becoming ridiculous. I think its great that I make people feel comfortable. I think its amazing that I can help people in this way. BUT, every once in a while I would love to go on a date with a guy who was just gay and okay with it already. Someone who was out and was going to go home and tell their mother about the nice date they had with a guy. Maybe my head is just too far in the clouds on this one. Maybe I am just ahead of the curve in terms of being out and okay with it and looking for a relationship with guys my own age. Maybe the solution is to date someone older....although that hasn't really worked out in the past either. I wish there was just some magical place that all of the out normal gay people hung out at so that I could flirt with someone who had been on a date with a man before in their life.
Back to the date though. So waiting for the bus all of the information about his summer plans come out and I listen contentedly. He never directly mentions talking to me throughout the summer, but the way he is talking I can tell that it is definitely implied.
We took the bus back to Harvard where I was once again invited up to his room and I of course accepted my invitation. We started making out and the roommate who is clearly in love with him walked in and just sort of storm passed us.....OoOOOOoooOOoops....
Then we began to play a silly little game. I honestly think it is one of those games that is just a fun way to get stuff going. I want you to...One person finishes that sentence and then after the task is completed the next person makes the statement with their own ending. And it goes back and forth until you completely forget that there is a game involved at all. I prefaced this game with "Now given the fact that you're a virgin....you can't say have sex....we are NOT having sex." He didn't seem totally bothered by me saying this but he didn't really seem relieved either.
**************************************NSFW**************************************
The game started with some pretty simple foreplay lick my nipple, suck my finger, and take off your pants. Then it led to a little bit more heavy petting and some oral action. And then it went somewhere I was not really expecting at all. He said, "I want to tie you up and blindfold you." I thought about it for a moment. I think I actually laughed and he looked at me dead in the yes and said, "No I'm serious" Laughing the whole time I consented and ended up having to show him how to use his scarf to tie my arms to the bed post. I easily could have shimmied out if I wanted to but I thought that I might as well let him have his fun. He played with me and himself while I was blindfolded and when he finally took the blindfold off he had a raging erection.
Given the turn in nature that the game had taken I decided to give him a taste of his own medicine. As soon as the blindfold went over his eyes he began oozing precum like a faucet. The Harvard Gaymer has a secret kinky side and I can't say that I totally hate it. He looked damn good tied to his bed. His abs have gotten considerably more defined in the weeks since our last date and his cock was so hard that it was just a pretty sight. After teasing him for a bit he decided that he wanted to tie me up again. I obliged. This time though he whispered in my ear that he would be back...the guy left me tied to his bed while he went to pee and come back. I've got to tell you for a minute I was a little worried and contemplated pulling my hand out of the scarves and just laying their untied, but I realized that this must be some sort of fantasy for him so I just chilled. He covered me with his blanket when he left and when he came back and uncovered me I could tell he was REALLY turned on by the thought that I had just been waiting for him in his room tied up.
Then after another 15 minutes or so he wanted to be tied up again and I was definitely into it so we switched roles. This time I took it to the next level though and tied his legs, arms, and blindfolded him. He was dripping without me even having to touch him. Then after a few minutes of teasing he told me that he wanted me to ejaculate on his penis. At this point I literally thought, "Well, what the fuck...might as well....we've come this far already." So I obliged and shot a pretty decent load if I do say so myself and the kid just started jacking himself off with it. I removed the blindfold and his arm ties so that he could and he just kept working away at it. After a while I think he just gave up on cumming right then and there and decided to just get dressed and walk me to the bus so I could go home. It was funny he didn't even wipe my cum off of him. Most of it he had rubbed into his dick and the rest had dried, white crusty stains on his brown skin. It was sort of hot. BUT Anyway.....
***************************************SFW**************************************
Once we were both dressed we started walking toward the bus stop. He threw his arm around me and pulled me in close to his body and insisted that we walk that way to the bus stop. It was nice. I really think he liked the idea of having a guy. As he was pulling me into himself he was waving at people who were walking by that he knew. It was nice to see that he was sort of coming into his own as a guy who could be on a date with another guy. As we approached the bus stop I watched as the last bus of the night sped past me without even stopping. It was at that point that he accompanied me back to CVS to grab some late night snacks before I hailed a cab and headed home.
While we were in CVS amongst all of the drunk Harvard students enjoying one of their last reading days before their finals began he started to ask about when we would talk again. I told him soon and he seemed happy with that and then I think it dawned on him that he was going to be leaving for the summer. So I told him that is why they invented skype and I would definitely keep talking to him if he was definitely interested.
There is something about him that I really like. He is nice and kind and smart. He is wicked smart and one of the few guys I have ever dated who can actually give me a true run for my money in terms of intelligence which I really like. He can go pun for pun and understand jokes about Calvinism and binary and I just haven't found that yet. HOWEVER, I think that we may just end up being friend who occasionally fool around. When we were on the date even though it was super cute I just kept thinking that he was more into me than I was into him. And then I would feel bad. Its not that I don't like him, its just that it takes me a long time to get to the point where I really like someone a lot.
The other thing is that there is something just a little off about the sexual chemistry. Harvard Gaymer insists that he will be a top, but I am almost certain he is a bottom. His body language, demeanor, and personality all denote someone who is more of a bossy bottom. At one point I wanted to start singing...
He almost got offended when I said it but once I explain why I think he agreed to. And believe me there is nothing wrong with being a bottom, the problem for me is that I need someone who truly is okay with switching or is such a top or such a bottom that I would never want to switch.
As of right now the Harvard Gaymer and I are still texting. We are still playing Words with Friends too actually. I guess we shall see where the summer takes this, but until I get a definitive gut feeling about him one way or another I'm not going to limit my dating options.
We shall see.....
Chau!!!
Wednesday, May 1, 2013
Fuck This! I'm Pathetic
So I spent the evening and the night at a special event honoring a bunch of the graduating nurses....I won a two fairly distinguished awards....I was feeling pretty good about myself for once and then it all came back to reality. I went to the trashy last call bar, dressed in what I thought were clothes that made me look attractive and didn't really get hit on at all.
Then just as I was about to leave one of the guys who is usually someone who throws themselves at me when we are at the gay club showed up with Tiny....and rejected me. Yep I basically threw myself at him and he rejected me.
I made some really serious innuendo about giving a decent blowjob and he told me he had heard from someone at the Harvard business school....I don't ever remember blowing someone from there so either nasty rumors are being spread or I am a far bigger mess than I realized.
I ended up leaving the bar alone and sad. I couldn't even get my sure-thing to make out with me. What the Fuck is so wrong with me? Seriously....I mean I get that he is hopelessly in love with Tiny, but come on....
Whatever, I'm drunk and I'm going to bed.
Peace,
Chau!!!
Then just as I was about to leave one of the guys who is usually someone who throws themselves at me when we are at the gay club showed up with Tiny....and rejected me. Yep I basically threw myself at him and he rejected me.
I made some really serious innuendo about giving a decent blowjob and he told me he had heard from someone at the Harvard business school....I don't ever remember blowing someone from there so either nasty rumors are being spread or I am a far bigger mess than I realized.
I ended up leaving the bar alone and sad. I couldn't even get my sure-thing to make out with me. What the Fuck is so wrong with me? Seriously....I mean I get that he is hopelessly in love with Tiny, but come on....
Whatever, I'm drunk and I'm going to bed.
Peace,
Chau!!!
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