Hairy Little Beast....

Okay this is a short one proving that old habits don't die hard....in fact old habits just never die. Its Saturday night and I have been invited to a party by my roommates for one of their cousin's 21st. One of my roommates seems to have the absolute epitome of no game. I mean he might actually be the first person I have ever met with negative game. So I decided I was going to try and play wingman for him and see if I could get him any ass.

I spent over half an hour talking with this one girl. She was primed and ready to go and actually seemed to show a genuine interest in my roommate which I as the helpful gay friend was able to exploit and magnify to a different level. All my roommate now had to do was close...not bad right? Well he was acting like a pussy trying to get this girl to come home with him. He wouldn't make a move. He then, drunkenly, made a statement to the effect that "if making a move is so easy how come I don't see you doing it". It was at this point that I began scouring the party for any other gay guy there. 

Then I saw him in the corner. Some small pocket gayby was just sitting in the corner on the phone. So to prove a point, as is too often the case with me, I went over to the gayby and said, "Get off the phone" He looked stunned that someone had spoken to him. He started babbling about who was on the phone, why he was sitting in the corner, and why he was ignoring the party and in typical fashion I just grabbed him and shoved my tongue down his throat. And almost instantaneously the phone was hung up. After about 5 minutes of making out I invited the guy back to my place. On the way out the door I gave my roommate a smug look and dragged the unsuspecting gayby behind me. 

When I got home I realized just how drunk this guy was as he was trying to take off his clothes. I also realized that although the guy appeared to be the perfect pocket gayby....he was actually covered in body hair. But covered in a very uniform and almost sexy way. It is very unusual for me to be attracted to someone white, hairy, short, and pretty flamboyant, but apparently after a few drinks and a challenge from a roommate my type changes a little bit. 

We started going at it almost immediately and I realized that this gayby was more screwed up than I though. The Hairy Little Beast (HLB) started telling me all about the guys he had been with since he came out 6 months ago (shocker there right). Apparently this kid had already had rectal Gonorrhea twice. And that was my cue to avoid actually having sex with him. Then when the kid whipped his pants off and I saw that his dick was about the same size as PillHeads I realized that this was definitely a PLC. 

Man I had been doing so well too...but I guess some things will never change. 

Oh the best part, HLB decided, as I was trying to blow him in much the same manner I use to blow PillHead (balls and cock at once) that he wasn't into it and didn't want to cum. Then in the morning he called me the wrong name. Then he told me that he was just not into me at all physically but continue to sleep and cuddle in my bed until I said, "So are you just going to stay here after that" Then he took the hint and hit the road. 

You'd think at this point in my life I would be able to ignore a dumb comment from a roommate with negative game, but I guess that is not the case once I've had a few drinks in me. Oh well....whatcha gonna do, right?

Until next time...

Chau!!

Signs from God

Do you every feel like you are getting a sign from God???

Okay this is going to sound absolutely crazy, but I feel like this a lot of the time. I don't mean it in like a weird I-hear-voices-God-is-talking-to-me-and-I-Need-meds sort of a way......I just mean 

Do you ever feel like Fate is trying to make a point?

Here is the dilemma....

I NEVER dream....like never NEVER NEVER dream....and in the last two night I have had a dream each night. Now I could attribute this to the new NUtritious Cookies that I purchased and have been eating one or two before bed each night, but that would be rational and reasonable...so of course I am choosing to believe these dreams are some power stronger than myself trying to send me a message. So lets break em down shall we?

DREAM 1: The first dream basically had me upset because Romeo was fucking another guy this whole time. I blew this one off because quite frankly I don't think Romeo has it in him. Also I blew it off because I'm not really sure I would be upset if Romeo was fucking someone else. This dream did leave me with a sour taste in my mouth though. Is it odd that a little piece me felt hurt by a dream? Irrelevant I guess, but interesting to think about.

Dream 2: The second dream had me in a relationship with another guy, not Romeo, but running into Romeo out. Basically in this dream Romeo avoided me like the plague and I'm still not sure if it was because I was upset at him or if he was upset at me.

Basically the point is I find it very weird that I never dream and in the last two days I have had dreams about Romeo....does that mean this guy has managed to squirm his way into my inner psyche already? Are the dreams signs or warnings that I should get out now before things get more involved? Are the dreams just trying to give me the heads up that Romeo isn't as into this whole thing as I am?

Then the Fates to confuse me a little bit more sent me something strange today as I was leaving work. I was waiting for the Orange Line and one of the most attractive mixed race guys I have seen in a long time came up to me and just struck up a conversation. He was hot as hell and my type to a T. He had muscles, brown skin, was a football player, great dresser, was going back to college for a marketing degree...and he was talking and flirting with me. I couldn't believe it....I have always wanted that to happen so of course it does when I am having all of these complicated...dare I say it....feelings for Romeo. Is it a sign that my dream man is still out there and that Romeo isn't good for right now? Is it a sign that I should just go for it with Romeo because my dream guy will still be out there if this doesn't work?

I honestly have no idea what the fuck any of this means....all I do know is it has brought into question a lot of the feelings I am having about Romeo....I'm just not sure it is all its cracked up to be...

Have I made him to be better than he is in my head? Do I want too much? Am I settling or am I compromising because I really like him? Are these things signs or hallucinations? Should I get some sort of psych eval?

Clearly the answer is still waiting for me to discover it...so off to bed I go...let's see if anymore weird dreams await me.

Until Later

Chau!!!

Typical....Just Typical...

So I went on a date last week with a really nice white guy. He was cute, professional, smart, and funny, actually one of his few flaws was his lack of chin....hence his nickname....Chinless. Everything I should be looking for so I figured I would try for another date this week. He was really into it and then when trying to make plans for whatever reason everything fell through. We were supposed to go out Thursday night to Club Cafe (one of the gay bars here in Boston) just for drinks and for a cute and easy second date. Unfortunately he ended up needing to go to Long Island for the week. GREAT! Now that makes two people in the last two weeks that have literally moved to a different state just to avoid going on a second date with me. 

Maybe this is just coincidence I tell myself. Maybe I just happened to get two completely different guys, both great in their own ways, and maybe the both just needed to move out of state within the same week that just maybe happened to coincide with directly after our first date. My life is actually beginning to make me feel a wee bit more insecure than I already did, which is very hard.

I think that the remainder of my self-confidence is actually just being flushed down the toilet. Why is it that I can't seem to even get a second date out of anyone? I didn't put out this time because I thought I would try to have a decent and/or respectable relationship before I just blew or fucked them but it seems that my sexual aptitude is the only thing that has ever really assured me a second date. Right now I am just trying to figure out what it is about me that is so anti-relationship that I can't even get a second date when I don't have sex with someone on the first date. How/Why/When did this become my fucking problem?

On the bright side....

I went out with a Venezuelan deaf lawyer friend of mine on Thursday night. We had only ever met once in person but we have stayed connected through the internet and Facebook. When he arrived back in Boston for his international law degree we decided we would meet up. He has told me in the past he isn't interested in my sexually and only wants to be friends and yet last night felt an awful lot like a date to me. We went to the bar, I paid, we gawked at other people in the bar, we laughed, we drank a lot, and then when we both went to take out separate trains something weird happened.

I went in to give him a hug. And then I thought we were going to do the South American kiss on the cheek thing but all of a sudden his lips were on mine. Initially I thought it was just a little peck, but then I felt tongue just sliding into my mouth. And there we were french kissing goodbye like a couple of horny 8th graders. And me, like the jackass that I am, went to get on the train but french kissed him one more time good bye before I finally stepped on the platform. 

And to top it all off I got a text message smiley while I was at work today. More than that I got a message on facebook saying how much fun he had last night. I am SO FUCKING CONFUSED!!! Seriously I don't know what's going on with him and with me. I do have a little bit of a crush on him and he is a lot of fun to kiss, but I don't think he has any feelings for me. I think when he gets drunk he just makes out with the closest person to him. Its a little sad to be honest. I guess its not really that bright a side, but whatever. At least I had a fun make out session on the MBTA platform for a change. It wasn't a bad way to end a pretty drunk night.