Starting Over

Here's the scoop....my mother found my blog....that's right folks...my mother read all about all of my sex and dating life....which is why I deleted and re-made this blog anonymously. I encourage all of you to continue to follow....and laugh at my expense...

Now where was I...

Its been a while and so very much has happened. Let's begin with one of the most awkward dates in my history....which is saying something.

This guy....we'll call him Smoosher, was just fjapi ojsdng; aovgnmas;otng...yes....key smashing that is how I am choosing to describe him. He was one of those dates that when he showed up I hoped and said a silent prayer that he wouldn't see me or wouldn't notice me and silently walk away. No such luck....OF COURSE!!!

Let me begin by describing him for all of you. First he had on pants that were far too large and were comfortably around his waist and yet they still managed to hide below his knee. He had on a giant baggy t-shirt, van sneakers with a hole in one of the toes, and high socks. Not, I'm-an-athlete-who-works-out-gym-socks more I'm-a-nerd-who-plays-way-too-many-video-games-high-socks. Then he had a sort of Jew fro....which was not awful, but coupled with his facial hair that resembled pubic hair it was just not a good scene. But the Icing on the Cake he was wearing a bent fork around his wrist as a MOTHERFUCKING BRACELET!!!! Seriously where the FUCK do I find these people??

Other problems with this guy....he is 25, a virgin, wants to fuck Spiderman, and when dry humping you makes a funny face closes his eyes and humps like he is trying to masturbate using a couch.....Yes that run-on sentence pretty much sums him up. And for my own dignity and sake we will call him a PLC and move on....

I also recently went on a date with a great guy. An ICU nurse from a local hospital. A Southern transplant from TN with an accent. He is nice, older, cute, and has his shit together, which I fucking LOVE. The only problem with him....long hair. I'm not talking 80's rock band long, think Justin Bieber or the website Lesbians Who Look Like Justin Bieber. But is all seems to be working out well. We are actually scheduled for another date next week so I am hopeful. I am thinking that I might call him Rhett....I don't know why but there is something about his height and his accent that just reminds me of the movie Gone with the Wind....so that will be his nickname...boring I know but he seems like he might be a good one....fingers crossed!


Well until next time....Chau