Hickey Part Deux

After our second rendezvous Hickey sort of turned into a stage 5 clinger, and by sort of I mean 'beyond a shadow of a doubt'. This guy texted me every day after our second date. At first it was nice and cute...and then the text messages kept coming, and each subsequent text message kept getting longer, and more sappy, until before you knew it I was getting things like this:

"Its okay. I know your a busy man. I'm very patient. :) I'm just glad to know that your okay. I miss you a lot."

and this:

"I don't have any plans either but I was gonna ask you to be my Valentine." and when I responded I don't really do the Valentine's day thing I received...."LMAO its okay. I don't really do Valentine's day either. I was just kidding. And I don't hate you I was telling my coworkers, love stinks. When am I gonna see you?"

And then on Valentine's Day I got this:

"Happy Valentine's Day my love. Hope your day is filled with lots and lots of love. From me to you. Hugs and Kisses....(cute pet name that I will spare you that Hickey has given to himself)."

I'm thinking that all of those things equate to at least a stage 5 clinger right? But I digress, I decided that I would make some time for an evening type date....maybe a drink and an appetizer kind of a thing. And away we went to a very popular place near the Fenway called Landsdowne Pub its a great place with some decent food. Well on a Thursday at 5:30 with the threat of snow...the place was dead...I mean DEAD. Like there were three times as many people working there as there was customers in the whole place. That made the whole beginning of the date a little awkward.

Then as the date progressed...Hickey didn't want a drink and didn't want to eat anything. Meanwhile I had ordered a beer before Hickey even showed up and had been eyeing a plate of fries and gravy since I walked in. So now I felt fat and like alcoholic but that wasn't even the worst part. The worst part was that Hickey didn't talk. It was like the awkward first date all over again. He kept staring at me with these blank expressions, giggling, and then looking down. Finally I couldn't take it anymore and I simply asked him what the deal was. He dismissed my question and claimed that there was nothing and then finally came clean and asked me about KFlip...

The guy was still stuck on the fact that I wasn't exclusively dating him after only two dates. I mean come on right? Maybe its me, but that seems absolutely INSANE. When I informed Hickey that I hadn't heard from KFlip in almost two weeks (WOMP WOMP...ANOTHER ONE BITES THE DUST) He got this big smile on his face and then began talking like a bubbly school girl. 

When we left the restaurant I had every intention of sending Hickey on his way with maybe a goodnight kiss but that was about it. My plan was to redirect the stage 5 clinger slowly with a normal date with no physical intimacy. Well that was going well until we ended up going back to my school to unlock a piano for one of my friends...(For the record that is not an innuendo for anything the pianos at my school actually require a key that only certain people have its pretty ridiculous actually) 

While waiting for someone to show up we started kissing. Not even two minutes into the kissing the dirty talk started. All of a sudden the quiet guy from the pub became the dirtiest talking motherfucker I have come across in a long time, but I was still sticking to my guns about the physical intimacy thing....and then he said something that just made my toes curl..."I want to bite your dick and suck on your asshole like a vacuum." Now to be honest I really have no true interest in either one of those things ever occurring to me, but in the heat of the moment that kind of dirty talk totally got me going. And before I knew what I was doing we were in my dorm room going at it.

I was still planning on holding my ground, but something during the hooking up came over me and before I knew it we were having sex. Condoms were used of course because while I am all about breaking my dry spell I was not about breaking my record for 100% condom use 100% of the time. (I'm such a good little doobie) And the sex was GREAT!

 Honestly, I'm saying that, but I'm not even positive. I haven't had sex in so long I could have had absolutely terrible sex and I still probably though it was pretty good. But if I am truly recalling correctly this was some pretty great sex. Hickey has a nice sized dick, a dirty mouth, a rough approach, and was willing to both top and bottom, which totally made my fucking day. I really do love someone who is as versatile as I am....I'm not really sure he is....actually I am pretty sure he is more of a top, but whatever he let me fuck him so I am going to pretend he is a true vers like me. 

After the sex and post-coital cordialities had been expressed I broke Hickey's total euphoric state and warned him..."No crazy...I fucked you but that means you can't become crazy." I mean that was probably pretty mean, but I didn't want to risk the stage 5 clinger become a full-fledged stage 12...I always think frankness is the best policy. 

I'm proud to say it worked too! I texted Hickey to make sure he got home and then he didn't text me again until I talked to him 3 days after our date. Who knows maybe Hickey will turn out to be more than a friend after all?

Until Later!

Chau!!

A Little Hope...

So I may or may not be drunk right now....but I am going to blog anyways....I know people always say never drink and blog but I really don't want to forget how I feel tomorrow.

Tonight I went to a friend's housewarming party despite having an absolutely horrid day at work. For some reason I felt compelled to go so I got on a bus and headed to her new place. For the first hour or so I felt extremely awkward. There were only a few people I knew and despite my charming attention grabbing personality I really wasn't having that great of a time.

Then all of a sudden this guy from my theater group showed up. He is awesome. He is a genuinely nice person, with a great voice, and he is super cute. He is friends with a lesbian I am actually pretty good friends with. He is adorable. The best part about him is I saw him interact with his family post show and it was adorable. They were the Cleavers if Beaver was a raging homo who did musical theater. Seeing them interact was literally an AWWWWW kind of a moment.

So this guy shows up and he sort of starts hitting on me. At first I wasn't really sure if he was hitting on me or not. He was being sort of shy and stand offish. Honestly I have had a crush on this guy for quite some time but never made a move because I assumed he wasn't even remotely into me. Then tonight everything changed and it was obvious to me that he may have been into me. I still am not sure if it was because he was gay or just because he liked me but I guess time will tell.

Well the party we were at got broken up by the cops. So instead of being under 21 year old assholes and just going home I went with him, his hag, his guy friend, and my sort of friend/acquaintance/fellow nurse to a bar for a couple of follow up drinks. Just as a funny anecdote this friend person is also a sex toy saleswoman.....and she happened to be carrying around a suitcase full of supplies and one of them happened to be going off....this really isn't relevant to the story at all I just thought that it was funny, but I digress. So we all go to the bar and begin drinking.

The cute guy who I still haven't come up with a name for yet's hag finds out that I am drinking a Long Island Iced Tea and immediately begins liking me and pushing me and her friend to get together. I was so excited. I mean, let's cut the shit, if the hag starts pushing a relationship then that means the other person has at least mentioned you before in conversation. I got really excited. Eventually after doing this really awkward flirting thing we ended up kissing in the middle of the bar.

It was Awesome! He was a great kisser! After a few passionate pecks he ended up bringing me to the back of the bar where we sneaked out the back door and began making out in the alley. At one point we both ended up on the ground, but I stopped things from going any further because I feel like I might actually like this guy. And he seemed to be okay with it.

We then went back into the bar where the bartender quickly and quite curtly informed me that I was not allowed to go into the back alley.....OOOPS....MY BAD! Oh well it was hot and I was into it. Fuck the bartender!

I paid my bill and met him and his friends out front of the bar where I was invited to go back to his place and smoke and watch Legally Blonde....however tempting this might have been I rejected because I think I might actually like this guy and I didn't want to fuck him right away. He is so nice, and sweet, and cute, and smart, and adorable, and I am sure that I am going to fuck this up somehow....

Well I texted him when I got home that I would talk to him tomorrow and take him on a proper date and he told me he was looking forward to it.....


Is it possible??? Have I actually found someone that I am attracted to and who is also a good person??? I hope so... Want to know what gives me hope??? My walk home...


As I was walking home from the bar everything seemed normal. Then as I got out in front of my dorm I started singing a song I wrote (I know how cheesy) called rain....

I want the rain to come and fall on my face.
Give me the storm to take away my pain,
To take away my hurting.
I want the water, I want the wind, Give me the storm,
Make me feel again.

 And as I am belting this out at the top of my lungs it started to pour.....the more I sang the harder and more persistent the rain became. It was like a baptism by nature. I am hoping that it was God's way of telling me that this time things will be different. This time I will have been born anew and everything will be innocent and fresh.

I HOPE....

So maybe tonight was the perfect example of A Little Hope....