The Harvard Gaymer returned to school this week. Naturally I was really excited to see him and go on a date with someone again who was normal. We made plans for Friday night to do dinner in Davis Square and then just hang out at my new place. Prior to the date on Thursday night I received a slew of drunk texts that sort of freaked me out. I would supply them below, but it appears that they somehow got deleted...but here is a summary:
Summary of Scary Text Messages
This is a drunk text. I want to tell you that I want to ask you to be my boyfriend but I don't think you would want to do that so I can't ask. But I really like you ALOT. And I want to cuddle you forever because drunk me wants to tell you that I LOVE being with you.
End of Summary of Scary Text Messages
Lots of things happened there. One, I realized that he was only 20 and therefore drunk in a dorm room while I was sitting in my new apartment with my Yo-Pro roomies. Two, was that I realized he wanted me to be his boyfriend. Three, he threw out the word LOVE....I ALMOST DIED!!
I chose not to really respond to these texts until the next morning because I figured engaging in a conversation via text with a drunk 20 year old was probably not a great idea. The next morning I texted quickly to check that we were still on for Friday and to say that the drunk text messages were fine.
On Friday we went to dinner at the Painted Burro. We had to wait for half an hour to get a table so we decided to walk around the block once or twice. Talking and catching up I realized that we really were at different points in our lives. He was really concerned with his classes and what he was taking and his new dormmates and I just don't have any of those concerns any more which is weird but an unfortunate truth.
When we finally got a table we got seated next to a large group of gay guys in their mid-to-late twenties and some of them were super cute, even the waiter was a 25ish year old attractive Latino man. Looking around and listening to the conversations at the tables around me while I was sitting and talking with the Harvard Gaymer I couldn't help but that think there was just something not quite right about the date. The Harvard Gaymer is cute and the conversation was fine but there was just something not right about the date. I kept looking at the tables around me and thinking that I belonged more at one of them than at the one I was currently sitting at.
When dinner was finished we headed over to Diesel Cafe where we grabbed some coffee and continued talking. It was at this point that I realized he still had not come out to his parents and that he was no more closer to coming out to them now than he had been after our first date. The perfect symbol for the date and the situation was my coffee. I ordered a hot 20 oz coffee that was served to me in an actual glass with a hot cup holder around it...I practically burned my lips on the glass.
Nevertheless, I brought the Harvard Gaymer back to my place. I was hoping that if the chemistry when we got back to my place was perfect I might be able to overlook some of the problems, but that was not the case. Rather, when we got back to my place and started fooling around the lack of chemistry between us just further elucidated just how much this was not going to work.
Neither one of us came despite the fact that he stayed the night. He couldn't really stay hard at all throughout the course of our fooling around. We cuddled well together but again it just didn't feel quite right for whatever reason. So as we were spooning and falling asleep I bit the bullet and just laid it all out on the table.
I don't think that it will work out between the Harvard Gaymer and I for a lot of reasons:
1. He is too young.
2. The sexual chemistry is just not right.
3. He is not out.
4. He is a virgin.
5. He can't drink....even out at dinner.
6. He got REAL SERIOUS REAL FAST
I guess that's it really and most of them come down to the same point.....He is TOO young. It just sucks...he would be perfect if he was a couple years older.
At the end of the conversation we both ended up agreeing that we could still go on dates on occasion but that the intention would not be to get really serious. He seemed to understand my point about not wanting to date someone in the closet AGAIN. He also seemed to understand why I did not want to take his virginity which I think is really the more important point.
All in all I have to say that I am disappointed. I was so hopeful that it was going to work out this time. I really thought the Harvard Gaymer was more right than he was. I think part of the problem was that for the past couple months I had really only been speaking to him via text and it wasn't really giving me a good idea of just how off the chemistry between the two of us was, which quite frankly gave me a false hope that it was all going to work out this time.
I guess I will just have to keep looking. Maybe one day soon I will find a wonderful man that will complete my new apartment and YoPro lifestyle....A boy can dream right??
Until Later....
Chau!!
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