After having 50 posts on this blog and not being any closer to finding my one true love I decided I would not give up, but try even harder.
I went out this weekend with one of my friends from home and was determined to go to a bar and at least get a guy's number. We started at the one gay bar in my home town and that was a total bust. I was the youngest person their next to my female friend and it was more a dyke bar than anything else.
We headed to the straight bar next because normally getting a guy's number is not really a problem its me doing the follow up work that is the problem and texting them appropriately and planning a good/sober second time to meet. Unfortunately, old habits die hard and I focused on the one guy who, to me was clearly gay. Before I said anything to him though I played the game and made an inquiry to one of the several girls who had accompanied him in as to the state of his sexuality. The quizzical look I got followed by the slightly inebriated fag hag chortle said it all. Clearly he was still in the closet and clearly she knew exactly what I did.
Once again the mixed feelings of disappointment, derision, and confusion all washed over me. I turned back to my friend and was ready to head to the other side of the bar to wallow in my melange of feelings when the girl touched my arm. I turned around and unabashedly chuckled at my "error" and she said, "Wait, what's your number?" I must have looked confused because she immediately said, "Well when he comes out I'll give it to him." In my inebriated state I willingly passed along my digits, but honestly I am a little horrified that is what my life has come to, giving my number to a fag hag of a guy that isn't out yet for when he finally grows a set and can tell himself he likes boys. I am not knocking anyone for not being out or for not being ready to be out, but what is wrong with me that I, an openly out gay man, can't pick one other out-person to try and talk to at a bar of straight people. What are you going to do I guess?
Today I went on a date with a guy who, from his online profile (yes I am still using this because I know several people who have gotten engaged this way), I knew was probably not going to be a perfect fit. Let's call him Dramatic Church Boy or DCB. DCB is a 21 year old theater and religion major at BU. As a Husky alum that is already strike one but I was willing to overlook that as he told me he was completely out and proud.
It seemed strange to me that a out and proud gay man from San Francisco would have such a bond with religion. I don't think it is impossible to be gay and religious, but I do think that a lot of gay men are not particularly into the whole church thing. We ultimately agreed to meet at Boston Common Coffee and grab a coffee between his 1 o'clock class and his 5 o'clock meeting.
I always think setting up a first date on a time table like this is a good thing. That way if the date is going particularly terribly you can see the light at the end of the tunnel. Likewise if a date is going really well, you prevent yourself from going to far on a first date. Who could be a slut in 4 hours right?
Upon meeting DCB I was a little put off as he was not exactly what his pictures promised. He is white, a little shorter than me, a little heavier than me, and had a haircut that made him look like Lena Dunham circa that picture in the link. He was a little disappointing to say the least, but I hate to judge a book by its cover so we kept on walking toward the coffee place.
On the way to the coffee place a few things became apparent. One: This guy actually talks louder than I do. Two: Buckle in you're about to learn a lot about DCB and Three: Oh Dear God....his pants are cuffed around the ankles at different and inappropriate heights on each leg. I quickly dismissed one as being a normally loud talker myself I couldn't possibly hold that against someone. Two I figured wouldn't be that bad. I mean someone who is a theater and religions major can't be boring. But three....I know this is incredibly shallow....I also know I am going to go to hell for thinking this given my own feelings about personal appearance but, what the hell is wrong with you that you didn't see and fix that when you looked in the mirror.
The date dragged on and he continued to talk. He occasionally asked me things about myself, but mostly only when he thought they would relate back to him or a story he could tell. He asked about my job and then asked if I had ever told anyone they were HIV + and then he told me there was a play in that somewhere. Eventually, I got to ask my obligatory first date question, So tell me something interesting about yourself? He told me without thinking his majors, which I refused to take as an answer. And after some cajoling he stated, "I really love public transportation. Like every time I feel the train go by underneath us I get a little excited."
You can't knock a kid for trying right? I mean, that fact is probably the most interesting dull fact I have ever heard. It makes you seem at least a little weird and prompts me to think about why one may feel that way about public transportation.
We started walking around Boston Common. He realized that I had done a co-op in Latin America and quickly began speaking to me in the most horrible English accented Spanish I have heard. I responded back as I thought that might be polite. After carrying on the conversation for 10 minutes though and listening to him butcher the beautiful vowels and the sexy r's I just had to revert back to English where his tongue was much better suited.
At some point after 2 hours I threw out the line, "Don't you have to be going soon", quickly followed by "I am going to be meeting someone at Northeastern." I figured this was a big old hit. This was the cartoon grand piano falling through the roof and landing on one of the main animated characters, but no....I was wrong. He clearly was not picking up on the hint and volunteered to not only walk me back to Copley but to accompany me to Northeastern if I wanted. I assured him I would be good from Copley and he decided it would be better for him to take Comm Ave anyways.
When the date was finally over there was the awkward moment when we were parting ways. We both looked at each other unsure of what the appropriate gestures were. I took the lead and leaned in for a hug. I mean I greeted him with a hug and its not like he said he killed babies or anything. The words that came out next were almost disheartening. I could tell he was waiting for me to say, "I'll call you." Or "Text me sometime to do this again." but I didn't want to lead him on at all. I could see the writing on the wall from the first five minutes into the date and I don't see any reason why I should have continued the charade passed one date.
Maybe that is what will be different in my next 50 posts. I'm giving up on the bullshit. If things aren't working I am just moving on until I find something that does work, or something that is worth me giving up my time to fix.
I actually have another date planned for tomorrow night, but I would rather not jinx it...so you will just have to wait to see what happens. I have hopes for this one though so cross whatever digits you can.
I guess until next time...
Chau!!
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