Romeo Pt. 3

I realize that I haven't updated this blog in a while. It is NOT because I finally have a boyfriend...it is because I have been seeing the same person for quite a while though. It has officially been over a month that we have been dating. We have gone on a handful of real dates and more than a handful of late night rendezvous after we have both been done with work and/or rehearsals.

A quick recap of some of our dates in the last few weeks.... coffee walks, dinner at CPK, a booze cruise, a trip to Salem for Halloweekend, pizza and tv, and of course the obligatory working lunch (By working lunch of course I mean I blew him on his lunch hour ;)  I mean some things will never change right)

He is still great. He is nice, kind, has a secret sassy side, a great voice, and the most important thing is we have great FUCKING chemistry. However, we have never fucked. I know its a first....I can't believe it to be honest. We have come as close as we possibly can to fucking but we have never actually had full on sex. Its crazy really. But he wants to wait until we're monogamous to do that and honestly that is fine with me

But "ay there's the rub".... I'm pretty sure we are monogamous at this point. I mean I haven't been on a date since I started seeing him. I haven't even attempted to set up a date since I started seeing him. And he told me that he hasn't really been on a date with anyone since his last boyfriend until me. So I'm just a little unsure to be completely honest. I don't know what the next step is. My commitment-phobia is definitely starting to rear its ugly head too. 

The other night I definitely had the idea to just bail. The no sex after a month seemed like it would be the perfect excuse. I could bail and no one would even think anything about it. But I don't want to bail which is a new sort of experience for me and I don't know how to deal with it. 

I broached the subject the other day with him actually. I told him I thought about bailing and I didn't so now stuff was sort of up to him. This is a HUGE FUCKING DEAL!!! I don't really think he gets that to be honest with you.

 He definitely isn't as perfect as I thought though and it was evident as the subject came up. He isn't out to his parents. I mean he is to the rest of the world and I am sure that his parents know but he has never officially told them. For me, that is sort of a problem. I mean I really like him, but I am not going to have my first boyfriend not out to his parents. Somehow there is something illegitimate about that to me. I can't be monogamous or boyfriends with someone who isn't completely comfortable with themselves yet. And no matter how much you claim to be okay with yourself and your sexuality I refuse to believe you are completely comfortable until your parents know who you are. Am I being unreasonable?

This of course means that at this point I am sort of at a stalemate. He won't have sex until we are boyfriends, I won't be boyfriends until he comes out to his parents, and he isn't ready to come out to them. It is what it is. I like him still and I am definitely enjoying our time together so I'm not going to push anything, but I am not anticipating this thing to really work itself out any time in the near future, but who knows. 

I can't think of anything else to say. If any of you have any advice please feel free to comment and let me know what you think.

Chau!!

A Little More Hope....

I have been avoiding giving you all an update on this one for a few days now simply because I don't want to jinx anything. I am sitting here waiting to go on a second date and I can't believe how much I actually like this guy. I am completely sober right now (just thought I would add that for those of you who might be starting to think I have a drinking problem).

Our first date was adorable. I mean Throw-Up-In-Your-Mouth Adorable. We went and got coffee/fancy gay drinks from Starbucks and walked. First we went to the Christian Science Center where we sat, like the gay blasphemers we are, overlooking the reflecting pool and chatting. Then we took a stroll down Boylston St. to the Boston Gardens. Once we got to and were walking through the gardens he brought me to his favorite spot...a fountain in the corner...and we sat and talked some more. Then I had waited long enough and I just went for it...our first sober kiss. It was so cliché! And so freaking gay...sitting on a fountain in the middle of Boston Gardens and kissing. The weirdest part of the whole situation...despite the corniness of it all...I still think it was great.

When we finally realized what time it was we had to rush back to campus because he had a rehearsal that he was now going to be 20 minutes late for....Oooopps! And then we talked about going on another date.

As I sit here typing this right now I am waiting/preparing for our next date. I hope this goes well...everything else has so far...but I don't know.

Oh and I think I came up with a name for this one....ready for this....Romeo. Wait hear me out because I know exactly what you are thinking because even I got nauseous as I wrote it, but I really can't think of a more perfect name. So the part of the story I left out above....he quoted Romeo and Juliet after he kissed me....I know. He is so freaking cute I can't stand it. Okay well that is enough of an update for now...

Off to my second date...

Chau!!!