After our second rendezvous Hickey sort of turned into a stage 5 clinger, and by sort of I mean 'beyond a shadow of a doubt'. This guy texted me every day after our second date. At first it was nice and cute...and then the text messages kept coming, and each subsequent text message kept getting longer, and more sappy, until before you knew it I was getting things like this:
"Its okay. I know your a busy man. I'm very patient. :) I'm just glad to know that your okay. I miss you a lot."
and this:
"I don't have any plans either but I was gonna ask you to be my Valentine." and when I responded I don't really do the Valentine's day thing I received...."LMAO its okay. I don't really do Valentine's day either. I was just kidding. And I don't hate you I was telling my coworkers, love stinks. When am I gonna see you?"
And then on Valentine's Day I got this:
"Happy Valentine's Day my love. Hope your day is filled with lots and lots of love. From me to you. Hugs and Kisses....(cute pet name that I will spare you that Hickey has given to himself)."
I'm thinking that all of those things equate to at least a stage 5 clinger right? But I digress, I decided that I would make some time for an evening type date....maybe a drink and an appetizer kind of a thing. And away we went to a very popular place near the Fenway called Landsdowne Pub its a great place with some decent food. Well on a Thursday at 5:30 with the threat of snow...the place was dead...I mean DEAD. Like there were three times as many people working there as there was customers in the whole place. That made the whole beginning of the date a little awkward.
Then as the date progressed...Hickey didn't want a drink and didn't want to eat anything. Meanwhile I had ordered a beer before Hickey even showed up and had been eyeing a plate of fries and gravy since I walked in. So now I felt fat and like alcoholic but that wasn't even the worst part. The worst part was that Hickey didn't talk. It was like the awkward first date all over again. He kept staring at me with these blank expressions, giggling, and then looking down. Finally I couldn't take it anymore and I simply asked him what the deal was. He dismissed my question and claimed that there was nothing and then finally came clean and asked me about KFlip...
The guy was still stuck on the fact that I wasn't exclusively dating him after only two dates. I mean come on right? Maybe its me, but that seems absolutely INSANE. When I informed Hickey that I hadn't heard from KFlip in almost two weeks (WOMP WOMP...ANOTHER ONE BITES THE DUST) He got this big smile on his face and then began talking like a bubbly school girl.
When we left the restaurant I had every intention of sending Hickey on his way with maybe a goodnight kiss but that was about it. My plan was to redirect the stage 5 clinger slowly with a normal date with no physical intimacy. Well that was going well until we ended up going back to my school to unlock a piano for one of my friends...(For the record that is not an innuendo for anything the pianos at my school actually require a key that only certain people have its pretty ridiculous actually)
While waiting for someone to show up we started kissing. Not even two minutes into the kissing the dirty talk started. All of a sudden the quiet guy from the pub became the dirtiest talking motherfucker I have come across in a long time, but I was still sticking to my guns about the physical intimacy thing....and then he said something that just made my toes curl..."I want to bite your dick and suck on your asshole like a vacuum." Now to be honest I really have no true interest in either one of those things ever occurring to me, but in the heat of the moment that kind of dirty talk totally got me going. And before I knew what I was doing we were in my dorm room going at it.
I was still planning on holding my ground, but something during the hooking up came over me and before I knew it we were having sex. Condoms were used of course because while I am all about breaking my dry spell I was not about breaking my record for 100% condom use 100% of the time. (I'm such a good little doobie) And the sex was GREAT!
Honestly, I'm saying that, but I'm not even positive. I haven't had sex in so long I could have had absolutely terrible sex and I still probably though it was pretty good. But if I am truly recalling correctly this was some pretty great sex. Hickey has a nice sized dick, a dirty mouth, a rough approach, and was willing to both top and bottom, which totally made my fucking day. I really do love someone who is as versatile as I am....I'm not really sure he is....actually I am pretty sure he is more of a top, but whatever he let me fuck him so I am going to pretend he is a true vers like me.
After the sex and post-coital cordialities had been expressed I broke Hickey's total euphoric state and warned him..."No crazy...I fucked you but that means you can't become crazy." I mean that was probably pretty mean, but I didn't want to risk the stage 5 clinger become a full-fledged stage 12...I always think frankness is the best policy.
I'm proud to say it worked too! I texted Hickey to make sure he got home and then he didn't text me again until I talked to him 3 days after our date. Who knows maybe Hickey will turn out to be more than a friend after all?
Until Later!
Chau!!
Tuesday, February 26, 2013
Saturday, February 16, 2013
This is a DRUNK post....
Want to know what I am ABSOLUTELY sick of??? Drunk straight closeted frat bros hitting on me....
That's right! STOP!! I am over it...I no longer have the fantasy of the drunk straight guy asking me for a blowjob. I'm over it...I'm not turned on, I'm not automatically into you, I am not such a slut that I will blow you just because you're straight.
FUCK YOU! I am sick of your shit. Either come out and act like a normal gay person or don't. Stop trying to be straight but still get your dick wet from a guy.
THAT IS ALL...THIS HAS BEEN A DRUNK AND BITTER POST!
That's right! STOP!! I am over it...I no longer have the fantasy of the drunk straight guy asking me for a blowjob. I'm over it...I'm not turned on, I'm not automatically into you, I am not such a slut that I will blow you just because you're straight.
FUCK YOU! I am sick of your shit. Either come out and act like a normal gay person or don't. Stop trying to be straight but still get your dick wet from a guy.
THAT IS ALL...THIS HAS BEEN A DRUNK AND BITTER POST!
Wednesday, February 6, 2013
Off to a Great Start...
Last time I posted on here I had been out on two dates with KFlip....I am sad to report that since the second date I have not been out with KFlip again. It sort of sucks. He had his life together. He was employed. He had his own very nice place. He was normal, but not boring. He was attractive. But I definitely think that second date scared him off. I mean we have texted back and forth a little but the reality is...I have that feeling that I am never going to see him again, which just sort of sucks. He definitely was great potential boyfriend material. I mean the worst thing about him was the fact that he wasn't really out
To be honest though I think that was probably why he started getting weird after our second date. I think he saw the potential I did between us and I really don't think he was ready for anything serious yet. I mean I was his first real date with a guy for God's sake. To be expected....My curse as a Gay-Starter Kit continues. I'll keep his number in my phone, but I think I am probably done putting the effort into the whole thing.
In the midst of trying to figure out whether or not I was ever going to see KFlip again I was asked out by someone who on paper should be perfect for me. I think I am going to call this guy Hickey.
So Hickey is a fairly tall, skinny, black guy from Guyana.
For my geographically challenged friends....here is a map...It is a real place and its right there----->
Now that we have established where Hickey is from I should probably tell you a little bit more about him. He is 22 and is a medical assistant for a local healthcare agency. He is totally understanding of me being busy. He is nice. He is attractive. He is really nice and cute. And he is out....as of December.....Hey its a step in the right direction for me!!
Our first date was a typical kind of first date for me. We went for coffee when he got out of work. And once again someone said yes to getting coffee on a first date despite not really liking coffee. Why do people do this? I mean I LOVE coffee so I can't imagine being asked out for coffee and that being a problem. However, if someone asks you out on a date where you have no interest in doing the date activity why would you say yes?? I just don't understand that. I mean if someone asked me on a gym date, I would absolutely offer a different idea I wouldn't just say yes no matter what the activity was. Maybe that is just me....maybe I am bitchier than I thought.
I digress....so Hickey.... The first date ended rather nicely. We went up to the 16th floor of my dorm so he could get a view of the city and we sat and made out for a few minutes. Really the only problem with the first date was that fact that he mentioned his ex-boyfriend. That's not by any means a deal breaker for me, but I have come to find that anyone who mentions their ex on a first date probably has some issues from their previous relationship that will make it impossible for me to ever truly date them.
After our first date Hickey and I set up a time on Saturday to go see a movie. Now its important to know that I worked the overnight shift on Friday night so I thought a movie might be an easy second date because if you fall asleep during a movie you can pretty much lie your way out of that right?
Well we were going to meet at the theater at 1:15 to catch a 1:30 movie....So I dragged my ass out of bed, despite only having had 5 hours of sleep and schlepped over to the movies. Then when I was standing outside of the theater in the freezing cold for almost 20 minutes I decided to text Hickey and find out what the fuck was going on. Turns out he got completely side tracked doing some errands and was running late....Cut to me still standing outside of the movie theater at 2:00 in the middle of winter on a busy Boston street. Needless to say I wasn't thrilled with the prospect of this date, but I did end up being pleasantly surprised.
By the time Hickey ended up showing up I was sort of over the idea of seeing a movie and suggested we just grab lunch because I was starving and cold. Hickey of course apologized the whole way to the restaurant. We ended up going to the Beantown Pub, which is actually the place WASCJ....remember him??? Brought me for the date before I never heard from him again. After a really nice meal, I got breakfast and he got Fried chicken....I wish I could make that up....yes he is that black, we headed out and got coffee at one of my favorite date coffee places, The Thinking Cup. We then took our coffee and headed back to my place. He only mentioned his ex once the whole time actually which I took to be a good sign...although it was in reference to his ex possibly stalking his place of work now....Red flag, Maybe? Eh...Fuck it...
This date ended up going and going and going until probably 9:00 that same night. We spent hours just fooling around in my room. I had such a good time. I haven't done that in so long....no sex just good old fashioned fooling around. He was really skinny, but had a very defined body. A nice sized uncut dick which is something I haven't had in a while. He was so dirty too! Such a nice change of pace from the people I have dated the past couple months. I mean he was definitely a bottom by nature but he had the ability to man up and be aggressive, which was nice.
In terms of actual stuff that we did though...this boy was just filthy and he loved every second of it...which is always such a turn on for me. I mean, even if you're not dirty....if you can at least talk like you are you are already half way to getting me off, if truth be told. When we both finally finished it was quite the.....well lets just say I definitely had to wash my bed sheets afterwards.
I'm sure you are all wondering based on what I just told you how this guy got the name Hickey....well here goes nothing. Probably two hours into hooking up Hickey stopped me and started asking me all sorts of questions about my intentions. I immediately responded that I had no intention of fucking him as we had only been on two dates..I almost immediately realized I had missed the point of the question. He wasn't talking about in the immediate future he meant....were we going to be in a relationship.
I gave him the, "I'm really a commitment-phobe" speech without hesitation. He then asked if I was dating anyone else. And since I can never lie, even when it would probably spare someone's feelings getting hurt, I told him about KFlip. I could tell just from the look on his face that he was NOT happy. He acted as if I was cheating on him which is completely absurd since we were on our second date. After a few minutes I think he realized just how absurd it was and then it happened. He pinned me to my bed and started making out with me...Hot right? He then went for my neck and just started sucking and biting like he thought he was a vampire. I wasn't even a little worried about a hickey. I have literally never gotten one in my entire life...until then....I got cocky and got paid back almost immediately. After 5 minutes or so of some pretty intense neck biting or sucking....he pulled his mouth up...just like a vampire from True Blood when they are done feeding and looked at his handiwork. Then he looked and me and said, "Let the Filipino guy see that"
It was in that moment I knew this was never going to last. What a jealous fuck? I mean we have been on two dates and you are already trying to mark me as your territory. No matter how attractive I might find that kind of personal possessiveness I am definitely not feeling it after two dates.
As it stand right now....Hickey and I are still speaking via text. I think he is a really good guy, but there are a few issues. Most importantly I think he is very recently out....which is probably why he is so jealous....and so into talking about where we are going in the future....and continues to talk about his first real boyfriend on every date we go on...
I guess there really is no telling what Valentine's month has in store for me....Maybe I will go out with KFlip again....Maybe I will go out with Hickey again....Maybe I will meet the love of my life on the T....who knows??
Chau!!
To be honest though I think that was probably why he started getting weird after our second date. I think he saw the potential I did between us and I really don't think he was ready for anything serious yet. I mean I was his first real date with a guy for God's sake. To be expected....My curse as a Gay-Starter Kit continues. I'll keep his number in my phone, but I think I am probably done putting the effort into the whole thing.
In the midst of trying to figure out whether or not I was ever going to see KFlip again I was asked out by someone who on paper should be perfect for me. I think I am going to call this guy Hickey.
For my geographically challenged friends....here is a map...It is a real place and its right there----->
Now that we have established where Hickey is from I should probably tell you a little bit more about him. He is 22 and is a medical assistant for a local healthcare agency. He is totally understanding of me being busy. He is nice. He is attractive. He is really nice and cute. And he is out....as of December.....Hey its a step in the right direction for me!!
Our first date was a typical kind of first date for me. We went for coffee when he got out of work. And once again someone said yes to getting coffee on a first date despite not really liking coffee. Why do people do this? I mean I LOVE coffee so I can't imagine being asked out for coffee and that being a problem. However, if someone asks you out on a date where you have no interest in doing the date activity why would you say yes?? I just don't understand that. I mean if someone asked me on a gym date, I would absolutely offer a different idea I wouldn't just say yes no matter what the activity was. Maybe that is just me....maybe I am bitchier than I thought.
I digress....so Hickey.... The first date ended rather nicely. We went up to the 16th floor of my dorm so he could get a view of the city and we sat and made out for a few minutes. Really the only problem with the first date was that fact that he mentioned his ex-boyfriend. That's not by any means a deal breaker for me, but I have come to find that anyone who mentions their ex on a first date probably has some issues from their previous relationship that will make it impossible for me to ever truly date them.
After our first date Hickey and I set up a time on Saturday to go see a movie. Now its important to know that I worked the overnight shift on Friday night so I thought a movie might be an easy second date because if you fall asleep during a movie you can pretty much lie your way out of that right?
Well we were going to meet at the theater at 1:15 to catch a 1:30 movie....So I dragged my ass out of bed, despite only having had 5 hours of sleep and schlepped over to the movies. Then when I was standing outside of the theater in the freezing cold for almost 20 minutes I decided to text Hickey and find out what the fuck was going on. Turns out he got completely side tracked doing some errands and was running late....Cut to me still standing outside of the movie theater at 2:00 in the middle of winter on a busy Boston street. Needless to say I wasn't thrilled with the prospect of this date, but I did end up being pleasantly surprised.
By the time Hickey ended up showing up I was sort of over the idea of seeing a movie and suggested we just grab lunch because I was starving and cold. Hickey of course apologized the whole way to the restaurant. We ended up going to the Beantown Pub, which is actually the place WASCJ....remember him??? Brought me for the date before I never heard from him again. After a really nice meal, I got breakfast and he got Fried chicken....I wish I could make that up....yes he is that black, we headed out and got coffee at one of my favorite date coffee places, The Thinking Cup. We then took our coffee and headed back to my place. He only mentioned his ex once the whole time actually which I took to be a good sign...although it was in reference to his ex possibly stalking his place of work now....Red flag, Maybe? Eh...Fuck it...
This date ended up going and going and going until probably 9:00 that same night. We spent hours just fooling around in my room. I had such a good time. I haven't done that in so long....no sex just good old fashioned fooling around. He was really skinny, but had a very defined body. A nice sized uncut dick which is something I haven't had in a while. He was so dirty too! Such a nice change of pace from the people I have dated the past couple months. I mean he was definitely a bottom by nature but he had the ability to man up and be aggressive, which was nice.
In terms of actual stuff that we did though...this boy was just filthy and he loved every second of it...which is always such a turn on for me. I mean, even if you're not dirty....if you can at least talk like you are you are already half way to getting me off, if truth be told. When we both finally finished it was quite the.....well lets just say I definitely had to wash my bed sheets afterwards.
I'm sure you are all wondering based on what I just told you how this guy got the name Hickey....well here goes nothing. Probably two hours into hooking up Hickey stopped me and started asking me all sorts of questions about my intentions. I immediately responded that I had no intention of fucking him as we had only been on two dates..I almost immediately realized I had missed the point of the question. He wasn't talking about in the immediate future he meant....were we going to be in a relationship.
I gave him the, "I'm really a commitment-phobe" speech without hesitation. He then asked if I was dating anyone else. And since I can never lie, even when it would probably spare someone's feelings getting hurt, I told him about KFlip. I could tell just from the look on his face that he was NOT happy. He acted as if I was cheating on him which is completely absurd since we were on our second date. After a few minutes I think he realized just how absurd it was and then it happened. He pinned me to my bed and started making out with me...Hot right? He then went for my neck and just started sucking and biting like he thought he was a vampire. I wasn't even a little worried about a hickey. I have literally never gotten one in my entire life...until then....I got cocky and got paid back almost immediately. After 5 minutes or so of some pretty intense neck biting or sucking....he pulled his mouth up...just like a vampire from True Blood when they are done feeding and looked at his handiwork. Then he looked and me and said, "Let the Filipino guy see that"
It was in that moment I knew this was never going to last. What a jealous fuck? I mean we have been on two dates and you are already trying to mark me as your territory. No matter how attractive I might find that kind of personal possessiveness I am definitely not feeling it after two dates.
As it stand right now....Hickey and I are still speaking via text. I think he is a really good guy, but there are a few issues. Most importantly I think he is very recently out....which is probably why he is so jealous....and so into talking about where we are going in the future....and continues to talk about his first real boyfriend on every date we go on...
I guess there really is no telling what Valentine's month has in store for me....Maybe I will go out with KFlip again....Maybe I will go out with Hickey again....Maybe I will meet the love of my life on the T....who knows??
Chau!!
Saturday, January 19, 2013
New Year....Same Shit....
I have a few updates....
First, FTA is no longer. I didn't even have to break it to him in person. He texted me and basically knew it wasn't going to work. It was pretty painless actually which is pretty unusual for one of my dating adventures...well almost.
On New Years Eve I got a few texts from FTA. Most were normal, "So I guess we aren't going to be a thing" type texts but then there were a few that were pretty judgmental. I'm paraphrasing but basically a 25 year old virgin recovering alcoholic told me that I should examine my life and how fast I move with guys. Honestly, for a brief second I was a little concerned....and then he added, "But who knows, I mean I could go my whole life without sex and be fine" I mean who the Fuck says that.... Virgins...that's who....
After FTA I met another guy on OKCupid. This guy is 25 too, but has a job as a healthcare consultant, has his own apartment, and definitely has his life together which is a nice change of pace compared to FTA. I'm thinking I am going to call this one KFlip. He is actually really attractive, a little short, but he is Filipino and has a great body and cute face. He's smart and can carry on a conversation. But like every person I have ever dated there is always a catch right.... Per usual....He ISN'T OUT!!! Seriously I don't know why/how this keeps happening. I mean he is out to a certain extent. He is out to people in Boston and one of his brothers, but he isn't out to his friends and family in Chicago where he is from at all. Its not a problem so far he has been really great to go out with actually.
We have had two real dates. The first was coffee followed by sushi followed by a little bit of kissing at his place. The second date was even cuter. We went to Kings which is a bowling place here in Boston. We got drinks and food and bowled. It was very much a couple type of date which was nice. Then we went back to his place and fooled around. We didn't have sex, but we definitely got pretty hot and heavy, but at some point we sort stopped fooling around and took a nap. The funny thing was he was really really into it and then all of a sudden he wasn't anymore. I don't really know what happened. He kept saying that he liked me and that it wasn't me but I still can't help but think it was me.
To sort of ease the awkwardness I suggested we watch some TV so we laid on the couch and watched Gossip Girl. Unfortunately, my own horniness got the best of me and I definitely think I started to annoy him with my kissing him and stuff. He said he wanted to see me tomorrow though and take things slower. Its probably not a bad idea actually. I do sort of like him so we shall see where this one goes.
Then one more brief update about Romeo. Somehow Romeo sneaked right back into my life the same way he sneaked out. I am directing a musical this semester....I know its super gay, but hold your judgment...Lord knows I have enough to be judged for already. So Romeo saunters into my auditions after having not spoken to me in probably a month or so and belts As Long as Your Mine. Alright...I mean are you fucking kidding me with this shit? I couldn't make this shit up if I tried.... for my musical deprived friends...here's a video of the song so you know what it was that was being sung....
Yea that was a bit awkward for me to say the very least. What was worse is the fact that after my auditions that night I ran into him at the bar. While at the bar some frat guy started flirting with him and hitting on him and he kept coming over to me and the people we have as mutual friends to tell me all about it. I wanted to scream. And then he acted like it wasn't weird and gave me a hug when he left. Part of me definitely still likes him and wishes that it had been something that it wasn't. Part of me knows that it definitely worked out for the best though. He was not right for me and needs time to figure himself out, that's for sure. I hope that at some point we can have some sort of a conversation about it not being a thing anymore, but I am not holding out hope.
I guess for now I am just going to see where things go with KFlip. Maybe this time it will work out...at least for a little while. Who knows?
Chau!!
First, FTA is no longer. I didn't even have to break it to him in person. He texted me and basically knew it wasn't going to work. It was pretty painless actually which is pretty unusual for one of my dating adventures...well almost.
On New Years Eve I got a few texts from FTA. Most were normal, "So I guess we aren't going to be a thing" type texts but then there were a few that were pretty judgmental. I'm paraphrasing but basically a 25 year old virgin recovering alcoholic told me that I should examine my life and how fast I move with guys. Honestly, for a brief second I was a little concerned....and then he added, "But who knows, I mean I could go my whole life without sex and be fine" I mean who the Fuck says that.... Virgins...that's who....
After FTA I met another guy on OKCupid. This guy is 25 too, but has a job as a healthcare consultant, has his own apartment, and definitely has his life together which is a nice change of pace compared to FTA. I'm thinking I am going to call this one KFlip. He is actually really attractive, a little short, but he is Filipino and has a great body and cute face. He's smart and can carry on a conversation. But like every person I have ever dated there is always a catch right.... Per usual....He ISN'T OUT!!! Seriously I don't know why/how this keeps happening. I mean he is out to a certain extent. He is out to people in Boston and one of his brothers, but he isn't out to his friends and family in Chicago where he is from at all. Its not a problem so far he has been really great to go out with actually.
We have had two real dates. The first was coffee followed by sushi followed by a little bit of kissing at his place. The second date was even cuter. We went to Kings which is a bowling place here in Boston. We got drinks and food and bowled. It was very much a couple type of date which was nice. Then we went back to his place and fooled around. We didn't have sex, but we definitely got pretty hot and heavy, but at some point we sort stopped fooling around and took a nap. The funny thing was he was really really into it and then all of a sudden he wasn't anymore. I don't really know what happened. He kept saying that he liked me and that it wasn't me but I still can't help but think it was me.
To sort of ease the awkwardness I suggested we watch some TV so we laid on the couch and watched Gossip Girl. Unfortunately, my own horniness got the best of me and I definitely think I started to annoy him with my kissing him and stuff. He said he wanted to see me tomorrow though and take things slower. Its probably not a bad idea actually. I do sort of like him so we shall see where this one goes.
Then one more brief update about Romeo. Somehow Romeo sneaked right back into my life the same way he sneaked out. I am directing a musical this semester....I know its super gay, but hold your judgment...Lord knows I have enough to be judged for already. So Romeo saunters into my auditions after having not spoken to me in probably a month or so and belts As Long as Your Mine. Alright...I mean are you fucking kidding me with this shit? I couldn't make this shit up if I tried.... for my musical deprived friends...here's a video of the song so you know what it was that was being sung....
Yea that was a bit awkward for me to say the very least. What was worse is the fact that after my auditions that night I ran into him at the bar. While at the bar some frat guy started flirting with him and hitting on him and he kept coming over to me and the people we have as mutual friends to tell me all about it. I wanted to scream. And then he acted like it wasn't weird and gave me a hug when he left. Part of me definitely still likes him and wishes that it had been something that it wasn't. Part of me knows that it definitely worked out for the best though. He was not right for me and needs time to figure himself out, that's for sure. I hope that at some point we can have some sort of a conversation about it not being a thing anymore, but I am not holding out hope.
I guess for now I am just going to see where things go with KFlip. Maybe this time it will work out...at least for a little while. Who knows?
Chau!!
Monday, December 17, 2012
Well....I got my Mojo Back....
Maybe I shouldn't have complained about my missing Mojo....
I got it back and had a few flirty encounters this weekend one that even ended in a real date.
I mean it was a real date until I screwed it up and made it all weird again....and seriously I am straight back to my old ways....well not straight back, but you get what I mean. So the guy I went on a date with last night. He is a self-proclaimed alcoholic, but not like HaHa-funny-I'm-A-24-year-old-Alcoholic more like the I Attend Meetings Almost Every Night of the Week-Have been to a Halfway House-Could Have been on the Dr. Drew show-Alcoholic. So that is just perfect.
Let me cut to the chase this guy....we will call him FTA....short for Fast Talking Alchie...I know that seems mean which is why I am going to stick with the abbreviation. So FTA is not really my type at all...First off he is super white and tans regularly...yep he is a tanning bed baby...oy vey. On top of this and the recovering alcoholic thing I have never met a more anxious person in my entire life. Seriously he talked a mile a minute and I could barely get a word in edge wise but it was clear it was because he was nervous. I decided it was probably best if I invited him back to my apartment after our short coffee date because I felt like maybe in a more homey type of setting he would be more comfortable.
He had an AA meeting to go to at 8 naturally so he asked if maybe he could come by afterward. I said we should see when he got out first. Cut to me in my living room alone eating Whole Foods soup and watching the WORST VH1 Divas concert EVER and saying why don't you jsut come by you can spend the night if you want. That's right....I blame the 2012 VH1 Divas Live Concert on my PLC to bring a recovering alcoholic home with me overnight after a first date....
We started kissing and FTA just couldn't hang. He was so fidgety and nervous. Then he admitted he has only ever done anything with three guys. Could you imagine??? So sad. But I digress, an hour or so later I had FTA calm enough to just enjoy my company. So we swapped some blowjobs and the next disappointing factor of FTA came to fruition.....his dick was small and had a skin tag, which I may or may not have mistaken for HPV and questioned him on which I think only made him more nervous....OOOOPS!
A shower finished off our little tryst and then we split a bag of potato chips while watching some old rerun of Roseanne, he popped some pills and we went to bed. FTA wanted me to go shopping with him today....yes he is one of those gays, but I politely lied my way out of it by pretending my phone call from a computer service was work calling me to draw blood on a patient in Dorchester....Isn't it great to have a job that you can get called in for??
Now I have the dilemma of course of how to break it to this guy that I don't think its going to work. I mean for Christ's sake he left a message that said "Your hot" in marker on my mirror.....how do you tell someone that is only cute in movies? Well I am sure I will figure it out....I'm thinking a second date with something definitive planned after that I HAVE to be at so I can make my exit...or maybe just say I went home for Xmas and forget to text him when I get back from holiday??? Who knows, I'll have to think of something so I'm not responsible for this kid falling off the wagon.
I guess that's all I have for now....but good news for all of you my MOJO is back....bad news for my dating life, but probably funny reading to be had by all in the near future.
Chau!!!!
I got it back and had a few flirty encounters this weekend one that even ended in a real date.
I mean it was a real date until I screwed it up and made it all weird again....and seriously I am straight back to my old ways....well not straight back, but you get what I mean. So the guy I went on a date with last night. He is a self-proclaimed alcoholic, but not like HaHa-funny-I'm-A-24-year-old-Alcoholic more like the I Attend Meetings Almost Every Night of the Week-Have been to a Halfway House-Could Have been on the Dr. Drew show-Alcoholic. So that is just perfect.
Let me cut to the chase this guy....we will call him FTA....short for Fast Talking Alchie...I know that seems mean which is why I am going to stick with the abbreviation. So FTA is not really my type at all...First off he is super white and tans regularly...yep he is a tanning bed baby...oy vey. On top of this and the recovering alcoholic thing I have never met a more anxious person in my entire life. Seriously he talked a mile a minute and I could barely get a word in edge wise but it was clear it was because he was nervous. I decided it was probably best if I invited him back to my apartment after our short coffee date because I felt like maybe in a more homey type of setting he would be more comfortable.
He had an AA meeting to go to at 8 naturally so he asked if maybe he could come by afterward. I said we should see when he got out first. Cut to me in my living room alone eating Whole Foods soup and watching the WORST VH1 Divas concert EVER and saying why don't you jsut come by you can spend the night if you want. That's right....I blame the 2012 VH1 Divas Live Concert on my PLC to bring a recovering alcoholic home with me overnight after a first date....
We started kissing and FTA just couldn't hang. He was so fidgety and nervous. Then he admitted he has only ever done anything with three guys. Could you imagine??? So sad. But I digress, an hour or so later I had FTA calm enough to just enjoy my company. So we swapped some blowjobs and the next disappointing factor of FTA came to fruition.....his dick was small and had a skin tag, which I may or may not have mistaken for HPV and questioned him on which I think only made him more nervous....OOOOPS!
A shower finished off our little tryst and then we split a bag of potato chips while watching some old rerun of Roseanne, he popped some pills and we went to bed. FTA wanted me to go shopping with him today....yes he is one of those gays, but I politely lied my way out of it by pretending my phone call from a computer service was work calling me to draw blood on a patient in Dorchester....Isn't it great to have a job that you can get called in for??
Now I have the dilemma of course of how to break it to this guy that I don't think its going to work. I mean for Christ's sake he left a message that said "Your hot" in marker on my mirror.....how do you tell someone that is only cute in movies? Well I am sure I will figure it out....I'm thinking a second date with something definitive planned after that I HAVE to be at so I can make my exit...or maybe just say I went home for Xmas and forget to text him when I get back from holiday??? Who knows, I'll have to think of something so I'm not responsible for this kid falling off the wagon.
I guess that's all I have for now....but good news for all of you my MOJO is back....bad news for my dating life, but probably funny reading to be had by all in the near future.
Chau!!!!
Saturday, December 15, 2012
Back to Basics
I'm pretty sure I lost my Mojo.
Wait let me back track. So Romeo is officially dead as far as I'm concerned. I haven't heard from him since I decided I was going to stop texting/messaging him. Nothing...not a hi, not a how are you, not a I'd love a bj....nothing, which I can only assume means he is absolutely not interested in anything I have to offer or anything at all.
And after I realized all of that I ended up going out a few times and realized that any game I thought I had before had been stripped of me in the few months I hadn't used it. I was now just like the stupid gaybies without an idea in the world of how to flirt with someone at the bar. What happened to me??
The first time it happened I went out with one fo my good friends. We went to two different places. The first was this really busy commercial bar and directly across from us was a cute gay guy with his girl friend as well. despite my best efforts to attempt to get some flirting to happen. NOTHING. I couldn't even manage to figure out how to do the eye contact thing. Then a flaming black guy, I mean Liberace but left in the oven to long kind of flaming, came and sat right next to me. I assumed this was a sure sign that eventually he would do the creepy older guy hit on my kind of thing that I was so used to, "Maybe I would get a free drink," I thought. But NOTHING, again. It was so disappointing that my friend and I decided we would head over to another bar and see how we did there.
On the way we started singing obnoxiously on the street, Whitney Houston's I Wanna Dance With Somebody, of course. Two things you should know: Both my friend and I have been singing for basically our whole lives and we aren't completely terrible and we both LOVE karaoke. So in the moment our plans changed and we headed to this karaoke bar in Boston called Limelight. Usually places like this with a stage and a fairly gay crowd were my bread and butter in terms of getting hit on/ getting a phone number or date. But NOTHING. Several songs and several beers later and I ended up walking home with my friend as she feverishly texted her military man and practically ran dragging me through the city so she could get home and skype him.
That night sitting alone in my apartment and eating a bag of chips I realized I lost my MOJO. I don't know when or how it happened but it did. I had been out the entire night and hadn't managed to talk to a single cute guy, but worse than that not even a single creepy guy hit on me.
Then again last night I went out to a place in Boston that use to be perfect, Howl at the Moon. Just the right mix of fun straight drunk girls, some of the appropriate gay friends, and all of the straight guys that refuse to dance. It makes it very obvious who is playing for my team and through dancing with the drunk girls you usually get to introduce yourself to their group of friends and thus their corresponding gays. For whatever reason last night I simply couldn't make it happen. There were at least three or four cute gay guys who were definitely eyeing me, I think at least, but I couldn't bring myself to talk to them and apparently wasn't appealing enough for them to talk to me. What was even more frustrating was a my type was there with a group of 5 white girls, and I just couldn't make a move. Then he went to the bathroom and I thought maybe I can use there hags to introduce myself so I asked if there friend was gay assuming the answer would be yes and I could say, "I knew it, my friends and I were having a contest and I just won", but of course the answer came back as "No he's straight". I thought to myself of how typical this was. I again had locked my focus on the one closeted asshole in the bar. I mean what the fuck is wrong with me that I can never just like a gay guy. Back to the point, I have totally lost my Mojo and I don't quite know how I'm going to get it back.
I guess that is going to be my goal for the next few weeks, find my MOJO. I mean it only took me what 20 years the first time right so it shouldn't take me that long the second go around right. I mean by that math maybe I will have found someone by 35!
Well I guess that's all I have for now....a depressing story about my lost mojo.....I hope you at least get a kick out of it.
Chau!!
Thursday, December 6, 2012
The Slow and Painful Death of Romeo
Here's the thing....Romeo is not dead. He is still very much alive and still very much a part of my life, but I get the feeling this is fizzling. This may just be the commitment-phobe in me talking now but I'm pretty sure this is fading slowly.
For starters....I still haven't had sex with Romeo. I know this shouldn't be a big deal, but it is.....its a huge problem actually. I have done everything except have sex with him. I'm beginning to think there is something wrong with me and that is why he isn't interested. I know the reality is he wants me to be his boyfriend before he has sex with me, but that isn't going to happen because it seems as though he is never coming out to his parents. So basically we are at a stalemate.
At this point our dating relationship is I come over to watch the Walking Dead, I blow him, and I go home. Now normally I would be completely okay with this kind of scenario so long as I knew this was my place in the world. However, he keeps acting as though we are going to be together or this is going to somehow progress beyond what it is. I realized this week that it never will.
Its Romeo's birthday this week and I wasn't even asked if I could join in on the festivities. I did see him, but I am pretty sure its only because he thinks I went out with another guy one night this week. Its surprising how jealous he gets for not really wanting me. I'm just fed up with the fake being led on or the hope that this might be something real for once. So I have turned back to going out with my friends, online dating, and just enjoying when I get hit on. What else is a boy to do really?
Sometimes I think I am never going to find anyone I can call a boyfriend. And do you know what I blame for this....my weird childhood obsession with the movie Cinderella. No not the cartoon Disney version. The version with Whitney Houston and Brandy. I have become reobsessed as of late and I'm telling you that movie and my fixation on finding a Prince Charming as ruined dating for me. Anyone who isn't perfect just seems to end up in my pile of goings through or ends up as a friend I occasionally fool around with....is it just me though??? Or is this how dating is now? If someone doesn't turn out to be Mr. Right are they just doomed to be Mr. When-its-Convenient-because-you're-nice?
All I know is that just like in the play it seems Romeo is slowly ending his life. I just don't want someone who doesn't really want me. I am convenient for him. So I have stopped sending the first text message. I have stopped suggesting things to do. I have stopped worrying about what we are. It is what it is in the end right? What do I care? I enjoy the time I spend with him even if it is just blowing him while he watches zombies eat people's guts and brains.... (I can't believe I just wrote that sentence)
Oh how very typical of my life.
Good news is....with the death of Romeo slowly approaching I may be posting a little bit more frequently....actually I have another post I'm planning so I will keep you posted.
Until then....Chau!!!
For starters....I still haven't had sex with Romeo. I know this shouldn't be a big deal, but it is.....its a huge problem actually. I have done everything except have sex with him. I'm beginning to think there is something wrong with me and that is why he isn't interested. I know the reality is he wants me to be his boyfriend before he has sex with me, but that isn't going to happen because it seems as though he is never coming out to his parents. So basically we are at a stalemate.
At this point our dating relationship is I come over to watch the Walking Dead, I blow him, and I go home. Now normally I would be completely okay with this kind of scenario so long as I knew this was my place in the world. However, he keeps acting as though we are going to be together or this is going to somehow progress beyond what it is. I realized this week that it never will.
Its Romeo's birthday this week and I wasn't even asked if I could join in on the festivities. I did see him, but I am pretty sure its only because he thinks I went out with another guy one night this week. Its surprising how jealous he gets for not really wanting me. I'm just fed up with the fake being led on or the hope that this might be something real for once. So I have turned back to going out with my friends, online dating, and just enjoying when I get hit on. What else is a boy to do really?
Sometimes I think I am never going to find anyone I can call a boyfriend. And do you know what I blame for this....my weird childhood obsession with the movie Cinderella. No not the cartoon Disney version. The version with Whitney Houston and Brandy. I have become reobsessed as of late and I'm telling you that movie and my fixation on finding a Prince Charming as ruined dating for me. Anyone who isn't perfect just seems to end up in my pile of goings through or ends up as a friend I occasionally fool around with....is it just me though??? Or is this how dating is now? If someone doesn't turn out to be Mr. Right are they just doomed to be Mr. When-its-Convenient-because-you're-nice?
All I know is that just like in the play it seems Romeo is slowly ending his life. I just don't want someone who doesn't really want me. I am convenient for him. So I have stopped sending the first text message. I have stopped suggesting things to do. I have stopped worrying about what we are. It is what it is in the end right? What do I care? I enjoy the time I spend with him even if it is just blowing him while he watches zombies eat people's guts and brains.... (I can't believe I just wrote that sentence)
Oh how very typical of my life.
Good news is....with the death of Romeo slowly approaching I may be posting a little bit more frequently....actually I have another post I'm planning so I will keep you posted.
Until then....Chau!!!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)