I have been actively dating and looking for a long term relationship in Boston for going on 6 years, give or take. I have been on literally hundreds of dates. Some of the dates were total trainwrecks, others were as exciting as watching paint dry, some were good, and a select few were fucking amazing. No matter how many dates I go on, or how much fun I actually had on the date, there is one thing that always happens; post-date anxiety.
For the first 2-3 hours post date I am filled with the anxiety that I think most people probably experience prior to their date. Did he like me? Why did I say that? What did he mean by that? Fuck, I'm an idiot. Will he call? Should I call him? Do I want him to call me? What would my mother say? What would my fag hag think? It is a series of endless questions that can be easily assuaged by a simple text from the other person. A yay or nay, a thumbs up or a thumbs down.
What's odd is that I don't have any of these anxieties prior to the date. I'm not nervous. I don't worry about what I'm wearing or how my hair looks. I simply go with the thought, "This is me....fuck it I can't do anything about it." Somewhere between meeting my date and spending some time with them I go from "fuck it" to "God I hope he liked me". Even on bad dates, I want the other guy to like me. I don't ever want to be the guy someone tells his friends about as the worst date of their life.
If I liked the guy and it was what I would consider a good date, then "God I hope he liked me" quickly divests into a series of insecurities about how I look, my physicality, my clothing choices, my word choices, what I ordered, and my choice of body language as we said goodbye (i.e. why did I hug him, a fist bump what the fuck were you thinking).
I'm not sure if I will ever really get over this. Its a product of my own self esteem I think. When left to my own devices I am able to convince myself that I have my shit together, but the minute I compare myself to anything in the outside world I rapidly feel inadequate and unaccomplished. Further fueling my inadequacies is my desire to be with someone that might actually give a shit about me.
I often profess how comfortable I am being alone and single, and more often than not, that confession is a complete fallacy. I worry about being alone forever. I am concerned that I might never get the family I want. I fret that I will have no one to share my professional accomplishments with when I come home. I brood about what adulthood would be like if the only men in my life were Ben and Jerry and Jose. I agonize over wanting the American dream and being satisfied with an alternative version of it.
The one thing that I am grateful for about this post-date anxiety is that it never pervades my preparation for another date. If the post-date anxiety becomes too much then all I need do is schedule another date with someone else. It's kind of like having an eye opener to stave off a hangover. Probably not the best idea in the long run, but sometimes we all need the quick fix.
Later
Tchau!!
Showing posts with label dating. Show all posts
Showing posts with label dating. Show all posts
Saturday, January 14, 2017
Sunday, August 17, 2014
Let's Stick with Shakespeare....
As promised here is another update really soon after the first one. I have finally settled on a name for the latest guy, which of course means things are coming to a close, but I have been on a Shakespeare kick lately so let's stick with that shall we...We'll call him Othello.
So Othello is a rather short, black/brown guy, super nice, wicked hot, went to an Ivy League school and is now teaching inner city 6th graders at a charter school. Sounds perfect for me right? Ay, here's the rub....he was a patient of mine a while back....and he had an STD....and then he has been a patient of my clinics at few more times throughout his slut phase....so when he asked me out a little before the 4th of July I was hesitant but excited.
He's the guy that ran into me while I was working on the streets of PTown after my run in with the psychic and I really think I was going to project whatever that psychic had told me on the first guy who looked my way so naturally it was him. We went on a first date when we both got back to Boston; easy, iced coffee and a walk through Boston Common. He was just as nice and genuine as he seemed to be the first few times I saw him. It was at this point I learned that his favorite musical was Aida (anyone who can recall this knows the love of my life will be Radames) and his favorite piece of literature was Othello. That should have tipped me off right there as to how this would end but of course I'm an idiot.
After walking for a while we made our way down to the Coast Guard station in the North End and made out watching the boats roll by....it was super cute and nice. I told him that I liked him so I wanted to take things slow and he thought that was a good idea.
Our second date ended up being sort of odd....I wanted to go out to dinner, but he insisted that he make me dinner at his house. I don't know about any of you but this seemed to be moving super fast to me. Dinner at someone's house usually implies dessert in their bedroom...which believe me I wanted...I was just confused because I thought he was into going slow.
A quick funny aside just to explain to everyone exactly how awkward and ridiculous my dating life can be. I showed up at his apartment and ended up waiting outside for about 10 minutes before he came to the door with someone who was also waiting to go into the apartment next door clearly for a Grindr hook-up (Ah the joys of the South End). Then when I was walking downstairs into the kitchen with my bottle of wine in hand I fucking slipped. Like ass hit every stair on the way down kind of slipped until I was able to recover at the bottom (Fucking slippery Tom's Canvas shoes)....way to make an entrance right? I digress....
Dinner was wonderful...he's a great cook. I sneaked through his Itunes library to find songs he himself was the artist on and a really eclectic library of music. We finished off a bottle of wine and the conversation never really lagged at all. After dinner we ended up kissing and then he wanted to show me his room. Another sure fire sign to me that slow was not on the menu. Needless to say we ended up starting to fool around. I sucked his dick, he sucked mine, and then I sensed between him enjoying my blowjob that there was an issue. So I stopped and he said, "I thought you wanted to take it slow." At this point I agreed that I did and I sat up dick still hard and put my clothes on and apologized.
I don't want to say that it was never my intention to hook up with him because he is fucking gorgeous and that is definitely part of the attraction, but I also know that I am totally able to control myself in these situations and I was getting the sense that perhaps he does not. So I left with a good bye kiss.
That Friday, after texting off and on all week, while he was drunk I got a series of text messages telling me that he was made at me because essentially he felt that I had lied. I defended myself again with my typical, I want to take it slow, but I also don't want to deprive myself if I like someone. We decided that we would have another date on Sunday.
So Sunday came and he pushed off the time of our date due to his hangover from the night before and we ended up going to SOWA. For those not from gay Boston....SOWA is this giant flea market/summer festival/food truck thing that happens in the South End during the summer on Sundays. Its a lot of fun and the two of us really had a good time. He tried on ridiculous shorts, we both ran into people we knew, and we had something quick to drink.
At one point he turned to me and said, "I'm not trying to be rude...I know you're handsome and stuff, but literally everyone is staring at you." Quite frankly I hadn't noticed this at all....I guess I don't realize when gay men look at me anymore because it happens so frequently in Boston. I explained to him that it really had nothing to do with my looks, but rather everyone trying to figure out where they know me from. Its sort of a phenomenon. I will have gay guys on the train or out come up to me trying to figure out where they know me from and nine times out of ten it is from my job as the STD nurse. I have either tested them, treated their partner, or messaged them on one of the myriad gay sex apps to come in for testing. Unfortunately, because some of my patients come in under the influence they have a hard time remembering me in the scrubs. It is what it is I suppose. I explained that to him and he seemed to understand.
The other major occurrence during the SOWA date was as we were walking back to his place. A guy from behind called out his name...It was a typical gay-queen-possessive-he's-mine-and-who-is-this-bitch kind of call out. I didn't even flinch really. I've been in this situation so many times I don't even care. However Othello...FROZE...he looked so uncomfortable I couldn't believe it. The conversation between him and the stranger was almost forced...he did introduce me though. Then as we were walking away he quickly pulled out his phone and sent a text. I could tell he sent a text to his best friend. There was obviously something about this guy. So when we ended up sitting on a bench I point blank asked what the deal was...He lied...naturally..."Oh just the best rimjob I ever had" I told him I knew that wasn't true and that was why he texted his best friend....he relented but I gave him the out and said he didn't have to tell me. He seemed appreciative for the out and definitely took it.
He also seemed to understand the situation from our second date and was okay with it. We then planned a tentative day/time for a next date. Beehive is a nice restaurant in the South End with live music, essentially all the time while you eat. Its really a pretty nice/fun date place. We went here for our fourth date. Unfortunately I was working afterwards so I couldn't really have a drink at all but it was still a good time. However, it was midway through this date that I began to realize that perhaps I was falling harder than he was. Othello definitely bit off more than he could chew and rather than getting jealous was just starting to undermine his own involvement.
During the date I got a mini-freakout because I had made a guess about something in his life, which I was right about and he I think wanted to be more aloof about it from his reaction. Not really a big deal. Then at the end of the date I went in to kiss him before he went on his way and he totally shot me down. He insisted it wasn't me and that he wanted to take it slow and PDA freaked him out. Despite the fact that we had previously made out at the Coast Guard station on a first date. I could see the writing on the wall, but I liked him so rather than bail, which has always been my M.O. in the past I decided to try and stick it out.
After that he went on a trip to TX for a conference and was gone for a week. When I realized he was back from a FB post I decided to see if he was down to hang out. He said he was and we set up a tentative day and time. He ended up bailing, but wanted to reschedule. I should note that after he came back from TX the cute name for me changed from sexy or babe to buddy.....I'm not blind. He bailed on a second reschedule date and then one more time last night on a third reschedule.
So finally with my drunken fortitude I texted him and just asked point blank "Is this a coincidence that you keep bailing or are just not sure how to tell me that you're not into me." The honest drunken response came pretty quickly, "I'm just not into you like that. And the second date killed it, you weren't trying to take it slow." Of course....just when you think a problem is solved it never is. I tried to gracefully bow out. After all I still like him even if he doesn't like me. I can't help it. I think he's nice, attractive, and quirky but sometimes its just not there for both people. I'm honestly happy I know. My final text to him last night went something like this: "Its fine really better to just know....I suspected anyways. I hope you find what you're looking for....you deserve it." I thought it was fine. I thought I had ended it like a grown up.
Then this morning I woke up to a text message at 6 AM (probably post Saturday night hook up) that said, "Ugh...I think you're wonderful. I wanna hang out but I'm not ready to give you what you say you want."
I have NO idea what that means! I am more confused now then I have been in a long time. I don't want to continue to get strung along just so he doesn't have to feel bad about turning away someone he thinks has boyfriend potential. I don't know how or if I should respond to this message...this is definitely going to need some hag advice....but ultimately its like Bonnie Raitt says:
Until Next Time...
Chau!!
So Othello is a rather short, black/brown guy, super nice, wicked hot, went to an Ivy League school and is now teaching inner city 6th graders at a charter school. Sounds perfect for me right? Ay, here's the rub....he was a patient of mine a while back....and he had an STD....and then he has been a patient of my clinics at few more times throughout his slut phase....so when he asked me out a little before the 4th of July I was hesitant but excited.
He's the guy that ran into me while I was working on the streets of PTown after my run in with the psychic and I really think I was going to project whatever that psychic had told me on the first guy who looked my way so naturally it was him. We went on a first date when we both got back to Boston; easy, iced coffee and a walk through Boston Common. He was just as nice and genuine as he seemed to be the first few times I saw him. It was at this point I learned that his favorite musical was Aida (anyone who can recall this knows the love of my life will be Radames) and his favorite piece of literature was Othello. That should have tipped me off right there as to how this would end but of course I'm an idiot.
After walking for a while we made our way down to the Coast Guard station in the North End and made out watching the boats roll by....it was super cute and nice. I told him that I liked him so I wanted to take things slow and he thought that was a good idea.
Our second date ended up being sort of odd....I wanted to go out to dinner, but he insisted that he make me dinner at his house. I don't know about any of you but this seemed to be moving super fast to me. Dinner at someone's house usually implies dessert in their bedroom...which believe me I wanted...I was just confused because I thought he was into going slow.
A quick funny aside just to explain to everyone exactly how awkward and ridiculous my dating life can be. I showed up at his apartment and ended up waiting outside for about 10 minutes before he came to the door with someone who was also waiting to go into the apartment next door clearly for a Grindr hook-up (Ah the joys of the South End). Then when I was walking downstairs into the kitchen with my bottle of wine in hand I fucking slipped. Like ass hit every stair on the way down kind of slipped until I was able to recover at the bottom (Fucking slippery Tom's Canvas shoes)....way to make an entrance right? I digress....
Dinner was wonderful...he's a great cook. I sneaked through his Itunes library to find songs he himself was the artist on and a really eclectic library of music. We finished off a bottle of wine and the conversation never really lagged at all. After dinner we ended up kissing and then he wanted to show me his room. Another sure fire sign to me that slow was not on the menu. Needless to say we ended up starting to fool around. I sucked his dick, he sucked mine, and then I sensed between him enjoying my blowjob that there was an issue. So I stopped and he said, "I thought you wanted to take it slow." At this point I agreed that I did and I sat up dick still hard and put my clothes on and apologized.
I don't want to say that it was never my intention to hook up with him because he is fucking gorgeous and that is definitely part of the attraction, but I also know that I am totally able to control myself in these situations and I was getting the sense that perhaps he does not. So I left with a good bye kiss.
That Friday, after texting off and on all week, while he was drunk I got a series of text messages telling me that he was made at me because essentially he felt that I had lied. I defended myself again with my typical, I want to take it slow, but I also don't want to deprive myself if I like someone. We decided that we would have another date on Sunday.
So Sunday came and he pushed off the time of our date due to his hangover from the night before and we ended up going to SOWA. For those not from gay Boston....SOWA is this giant flea market/summer festival/food truck thing that happens in the South End during the summer on Sundays. Its a lot of fun and the two of us really had a good time. He tried on ridiculous shorts, we both ran into people we knew, and we had something quick to drink.
At one point he turned to me and said, "I'm not trying to be rude...I know you're handsome and stuff, but literally everyone is staring at you." Quite frankly I hadn't noticed this at all....I guess I don't realize when gay men look at me anymore because it happens so frequently in Boston. I explained to him that it really had nothing to do with my looks, but rather everyone trying to figure out where they know me from. Its sort of a phenomenon. I will have gay guys on the train or out come up to me trying to figure out where they know me from and nine times out of ten it is from my job as the STD nurse. I have either tested them, treated their partner, or messaged them on one of the myriad gay sex apps to come in for testing. Unfortunately, because some of my patients come in under the influence they have a hard time remembering me in the scrubs. It is what it is I suppose. I explained that to him and he seemed to understand.
The other major occurrence during the SOWA date was as we were walking back to his place. A guy from behind called out his name...It was a typical gay-queen-possessive-he's-mine-and-who-is-this-bitch kind of call out. I didn't even flinch really. I've been in this situation so many times I don't even care. However Othello...FROZE...he looked so uncomfortable I couldn't believe it. The conversation between him and the stranger was almost forced...he did introduce me though. Then as we were walking away he quickly pulled out his phone and sent a text. I could tell he sent a text to his best friend. There was obviously something about this guy. So when we ended up sitting on a bench I point blank asked what the deal was...He lied...naturally..."Oh just the best rimjob I ever had" I told him I knew that wasn't true and that was why he texted his best friend....he relented but I gave him the out and said he didn't have to tell me. He seemed appreciative for the out and definitely took it.
He also seemed to understand the situation from our second date and was okay with it. We then planned a tentative day/time for a next date. Beehive is a nice restaurant in the South End with live music, essentially all the time while you eat. Its really a pretty nice/fun date place. We went here for our fourth date. Unfortunately I was working afterwards so I couldn't really have a drink at all but it was still a good time. However, it was midway through this date that I began to realize that perhaps I was falling harder than he was. Othello definitely bit off more than he could chew and rather than getting jealous was just starting to undermine his own involvement.
During the date I got a mini-freakout because I had made a guess about something in his life, which I was right about and he I think wanted to be more aloof about it from his reaction. Not really a big deal. Then at the end of the date I went in to kiss him before he went on his way and he totally shot me down. He insisted it wasn't me and that he wanted to take it slow and PDA freaked him out. Despite the fact that we had previously made out at the Coast Guard station on a first date. I could see the writing on the wall, but I liked him so rather than bail, which has always been my M.O. in the past I decided to try and stick it out.
After that he went on a trip to TX for a conference and was gone for a week. When I realized he was back from a FB post I decided to see if he was down to hang out. He said he was and we set up a tentative day and time. He ended up bailing, but wanted to reschedule. I should note that after he came back from TX the cute name for me changed from sexy or babe to buddy.....I'm not blind. He bailed on a second reschedule date and then one more time last night on a third reschedule.
So finally with my drunken fortitude I texted him and just asked point blank "Is this a coincidence that you keep bailing or are just not sure how to tell me that you're not into me." The honest drunken response came pretty quickly, "I'm just not into you like that. And the second date killed it, you weren't trying to take it slow." Of course....just when you think a problem is solved it never is. I tried to gracefully bow out. After all I still like him even if he doesn't like me. I can't help it. I think he's nice, attractive, and quirky but sometimes its just not there for both people. I'm honestly happy I know. My final text to him last night went something like this: "Its fine really better to just know....I suspected anyways. I hope you find what you're looking for....you deserve it." I thought it was fine. I thought I had ended it like a grown up.
Then this morning I woke up to a text message at 6 AM (probably post Saturday night hook up) that said, "Ugh...I think you're wonderful. I wanna hang out but I'm not ready to give you what you say you want."
I have NO idea what that means! I am more confused now then I have been in a long time. I don't want to continue to get strung along just so he doesn't have to feel bad about turning away someone he thinks has boyfriend potential. I don't know how or if I should respond to this message...this is definitely going to need some hag advice....but ultimately its like Bonnie Raitt says:
Until Next Time...
Chau!!
Sunday, February 9, 2014
From Face Biting to Toe Sucking
I've been SUPER busy at work lately. Between both jobs I have not really had any time to do anything on my own including some of those things that guys find so basic to everyday life. Luckily I usually can find time on the weekends to relax and deal with the things I have been putting off all week.
I got a text message from Hickey this week apologizing for pushing me away. The funny thing about this is I was unaware that it was even happening. In retrospect I guess I hadn't heard from him in a while, but I honestly didn't even realize it because I had been so busy. Ultimately, I made plans with Hickey to meet up on Saturday and just fool around in our usual fashion. He actually made a request that I save up for him, if you catch my drift, and I of course complied. I'm all about trying to appease the person I'm with and I'm not above giving up some of the normal occurrences of life if it means I am going to get some and the person I fool around with will be happier for it.
Unfortunately, I had to work Friday night so I figured Saturday might be a little rough, but it was the only day I still had available. I would also just like to say working outside of a gay club doing testing when I was planning on having sex the next day was just not really fun. All of the patients who were flirting with me definitely found me flirting back, which probably wasn't professional, but it definitely helped in securing more patients.
I digress....Saturday morning came around and I contacted Hickey about getting together and did not hear back. After five days of waiting this was definitely not a good situation for me. I tried him on Facebook and eventually got an answer. He was busy with some sort of family emergency and would not be able to see me. Fucking Awesome! I was dying I was so so SO SO horny. The kicker is I figured out after the fact that there really was no family emergency Hickey was getting a tattoo...
I suppose it's really my own fault. I know that Hickey has feelings for me beyond just being a fuck buddy. I have tried to be very honest with him that I can not reciprocate those feelings, but I have been definitely taking advantage of the fact that he has those feelings for me. I think he is getting to the point where it really is not a health thing for him anymore and I suppose I should really respect that. He likes the idea of being able to be a fuck buddy with me but the feelings he has for me are quickly going to go from fondness to bitterness if I'm not careful.
Around 1:00p I realized that there was really no point in me wasting 5 days of pent up frustration on my right hand so I texted the FaceBiter. I know...Probably not the best move. We had a date/Still do have a date planned for tonight. He is making dinner and we are going to watch a movie. But I figured maybe he wouldn't mind fooling around a little bit on a Saturday afternoon.
He responded almost instantly and told me that he would have his whole place to himself around 3 if I could come by then. I obliged and waited. It took me probably 20 minutes to find a parking spot by his place in Inman Square but eventually I did. He showed me around his apartment, which is nice, but very I'm a grad student with limited resources. There are four guys that I think live there and the apartment definitely had a bro-atmosphere to it. I now understand why people see my apartment and think it is so grown up. Everything is clean, and tidy, and we have home accessories. The perks of a gay guy, three girls, and an ICU nurse in one apartment I suppose.
After a quick tour of the house we ended up in his room making out. He is still a FaceBiter and actually made a point to ask me to not shave before tomorrow and let my facial hair grow a little bit more. This is funny to me for a few reasons. One is that I am incredibly lazy when it comes to my facial hair and I really do find shaving to be a big pain in the ass. Two is that my family, my mother and father, both hate me with any sort of facial hair. Three is that I don't really think my facial hair grows evenly. I am not one of the lucky guys that looks good with a bit of scruff. I look like I am a homeless Latino vagrant not a sexy plaid-wearing lumberjack.
*********************************NSFW*******************************
The making out quickly turned into fooling around. Before I knew it we were both taking off our clothes. I started by blowing him and he was even more appreciative this time then he was the first time. I just kept getting compliments from him and I had to stop pretty quickly to make sure that I didn't ruin all the fun too early. He tried to go in to return the favor, but I just kept remembering the teeth and pretty creatively was able to avoid that situation.
After about 15-20 minutes of fooling around he finally decided it was time to fuck. He pulled a condom out of his drawer and warned me that I was the biggest guy he had ever been with sexually. I was floored. My dick is not big, by any means so the whole situation was a bit of a shocker to me. I knowingly nodded and let him know that I would be gentle and do my best not to hurt him. Eventually after several minutes of trying I finally was able to get in, but after maybe 5 minutes of actual fucking he just couldn't take it anymore. I pulled out and insisted that it was absolutely fine. We didn't have to fuck.
However, I did try and get him to switch it up and fuck me. To be honest his dick is pretty small and I wasn't particularly worried about being able to take it. He threw on a condom lubed up, but just couldn't really get inside me. It was odd. It wasn't that I was in pain it was almost as if he my ass was too fat and his dick was too small. I've never encountered this problem before actually. But in almost every angle my ass appeared to keep his dick from inserting more than just the head inside me. Eventually he gave up. I think the combination of him not being a top and not really being able to figure out the right angle to get his dick inside me properly was pretty discouraging for him. I again insisted that it was good and that we could do something else in place of actually fucking.
It was at this point that he really wanted to just lick me. I really didn't give this much thought as licking tends to be an essential part of hooking up in the gay world. In fact licking from my neck down my torso to my genitals all tended to be pretty standard gay fare until he kept licking. All of a sudden he was licking down my thighs well past my point of my crotch. He then started to lick right over my knees.
Fun fact I have highly sensitive knees. I always have. If you're trying to get me particularly turned on there is little you can do more than stroking my knees to give me an instant hard on.
As he continued to lick past my knees and hold my calf he slowly slid off the sock on my right foot. Then before I knew it he was licking my foot. Then my toes were in his mouth and he was jerking off like there was no tomorrow. While he was sucking my toes was actually the hardest I had ever seen his cock. It seemed that my toes and feet were his secret trick to getting really turned on.
I don't particularly get anything out of someone licking my feet or toes. It's not a turn on and it's not really a turn off either. It's a neutral for me. But I do find it funny that I keep finding these guys with odd sexual fetishes. I'm not sure if I just attract freaks or if I drag the freak out of everyone that I meet. It's like the eternal struggle of what came first the chicken or the egg.
After he sucked on my toes he came back up to my mouth and asked me if I would let him suck my dick now. There was no more avoiding it so I laid back and prepared myself. Then I was pleasantly surprised. he is actually quite a decent dick sucker. He even gagged himself a little bit on my cock, which is almost always hot and appreciated. Apparently when he is sober the gay genes kick in and he inherently remembers how to appropriately suck dick and live up to his stereotype. I enjoyed the dick sucking for a few minutes and that felt I had to warn him about what was to come.
Normally I have a decent load and I suspected that after 5 days of pent up frustration and being pretty well hydrated that he should at least be warned. I mean you don't want to be convicted of manslaughter by drowning during fellatio, right? He of course ignored my warning and we went back to fooling around. I finished him off pretty quickly by blowing him and then he wanted to make me cum. So we continued fooling around and then all of a sudden I came. It shot well above my head a few times and hit my shoulder until he threw his face in front of my spasming dick and took shot after shot on his cheek. When he finally thought it was over he took his face away and I shot twice more onto my stomach. He looked at me in shock and awe. I immediately apologized as I had gotten his comforter covered in cum and he had quite a bit dripping from his face. He laughed and said, "Well you warned me I just wasn't expecting that"
We hopped in the shower and cleaned off and then went back to his room where we began dressing.
********************************SFW**********************************
I almost always find that I have the best conversations with people directly after we have both cum. I think its something about the sexual tension being lifted out of the room that just makes the whole thing a little bit easier.
We talked for another 10 minutes about politics and life before I finally made a point to say I had to go. I think its important that I didn't stay longer than I planned. Since we are also seeing each other tonight I didn't want to make him think that things were moving too fast and then as I was putting on my shoes I realized that probably was not going to be a problem.
FaceBiter asked me if I would want to go to NY to go skiing with him next weekend. Yes the guy who I had been on, let's say, 1.5 dates with wanted to take me away for the weekend. I was flattered, but immediately wanted to run out of his house. It just seemed like such a commitment especially since I had really just met him. Suppose I found out that he was super weird in some way while we were away together and then I was stuck in a different state with no real means of getting home. My mama might have raised some babies with questionable values, but I'll be damned if she raised an idiot. I quickly pointed out that I thought a joint trip was probably not a great idea this early on and he seemed to agree.
Then I went home and contemplated what exactly I was getting myself into with this guy. I mean he is cute, around my age, and clearly very smart, but he is moving at a very fast pace for someone like me. Tonight I am going over to his place so he can make me dinner and we can watch a movie. I assume all of his roommates will be there as it is a Sunday night and I can't imagine that they have anywhere else to be being MIT grad students and all. So I guess we shall see how tonight goes. I will be sure to report back and maybe I will have a better sense of how long this will continue on for after dinner. I suppose I can always use my trip to the Dominican Republic as a way to get rid of him in the worst case scenario.
I'll write later tonight!
Chau!!
I got a text message from Hickey this week apologizing for pushing me away. The funny thing about this is I was unaware that it was even happening. In retrospect I guess I hadn't heard from him in a while, but I honestly didn't even realize it because I had been so busy. Ultimately, I made plans with Hickey to meet up on Saturday and just fool around in our usual fashion. He actually made a request that I save up for him, if you catch my drift, and I of course complied. I'm all about trying to appease the person I'm with and I'm not above giving up some of the normal occurrences of life if it means I am going to get some and the person I fool around with will be happier for it.
Unfortunately, I had to work Friday night so I figured Saturday might be a little rough, but it was the only day I still had available. I would also just like to say working outside of a gay club doing testing when I was planning on having sex the next day was just not really fun. All of the patients who were flirting with me definitely found me flirting back, which probably wasn't professional, but it definitely helped in securing more patients.
I digress....Saturday morning came around and I contacted Hickey about getting together and did not hear back. After five days of waiting this was definitely not a good situation for me. I tried him on Facebook and eventually got an answer. He was busy with some sort of family emergency and would not be able to see me. Fucking Awesome! I was dying I was so so SO SO horny. The kicker is I figured out after the fact that there really was no family emergency Hickey was getting a tattoo...
I suppose it's really my own fault. I know that Hickey has feelings for me beyond just being a fuck buddy. I have tried to be very honest with him that I can not reciprocate those feelings, but I have been definitely taking advantage of the fact that he has those feelings for me. I think he is getting to the point where it really is not a health thing for him anymore and I suppose I should really respect that. He likes the idea of being able to be a fuck buddy with me but the feelings he has for me are quickly going to go from fondness to bitterness if I'm not careful.
Around 1:00p I realized that there was really no point in me wasting 5 days of pent up frustration on my right hand so I texted the FaceBiter. I know...Probably not the best move. We had a date/Still do have a date planned for tonight. He is making dinner and we are going to watch a movie. But I figured maybe he wouldn't mind fooling around a little bit on a Saturday afternoon.
He responded almost instantly and told me that he would have his whole place to himself around 3 if I could come by then. I obliged and waited. It took me probably 20 minutes to find a parking spot by his place in Inman Square but eventually I did. He showed me around his apartment, which is nice, but very I'm a grad student with limited resources. There are four guys that I think live there and the apartment definitely had a bro-atmosphere to it. I now understand why people see my apartment and think it is so grown up. Everything is clean, and tidy, and we have home accessories. The perks of a gay guy, three girls, and an ICU nurse in one apartment I suppose.
After a quick tour of the house we ended up in his room making out. He is still a FaceBiter and actually made a point to ask me to not shave before tomorrow and let my facial hair grow a little bit more. This is funny to me for a few reasons. One is that I am incredibly lazy when it comes to my facial hair and I really do find shaving to be a big pain in the ass. Two is that my family, my mother and father, both hate me with any sort of facial hair. Three is that I don't really think my facial hair grows evenly. I am not one of the lucky guys that looks good with a bit of scruff. I look like I am a homeless Latino vagrant not a sexy plaid-wearing lumberjack.
*********************************NSFW*******************************
The making out quickly turned into fooling around. Before I knew it we were both taking off our clothes. I started by blowing him and he was even more appreciative this time then he was the first time. I just kept getting compliments from him and I had to stop pretty quickly to make sure that I didn't ruin all the fun too early. He tried to go in to return the favor, but I just kept remembering the teeth and pretty creatively was able to avoid that situation.
After about 15-20 minutes of fooling around he finally decided it was time to fuck. He pulled a condom out of his drawer and warned me that I was the biggest guy he had ever been with sexually. I was floored. My dick is not big, by any means so the whole situation was a bit of a shocker to me. I knowingly nodded and let him know that I would be gentle and do my best not to hurt him. Eventually after several minutes of trying I finally was able to get in, but after maybe 5 minutes of actual fucking he just couldn't take it anymore. I pulled out and insisted that it was absolutely fine. We didn't have to fuck.
However, I did try and get him to switch it up and fuck me. To be honest his dick is pretty small and I wasn't particularly worried about being able to take it. He threw on a condom lubed up, but just couldn't really get inside me. It was odd. It wasn't that I was in pain it was almost as if he my ass was too fat and his dick was too small. I've never encountered this problem before actually. But in almost every angle my ass appeared to keep his dick from inserting more than just the head inside me. Eventually he gave up. I think the combination of him not being a top and not really being able to figure out the right angle to get his dick inside me properly was pretty discouraging for him. I again insisted that it was good and that we could do something else in place of actually fucking.
It was at this point that he really wanted to just lick me. I really didn't give this much thought as licking tends to be an essential part of hooking up in the gay world. In fact licking from my neck down my torso to my genitals all tended to be pretty standard gay fare until he kept licking. All of a sudden he was licking down my thighs well past my point of my crotch. He then started to lick right over my knees.
Fun fact I have highly sensitive knees. I always have. If you're trying to get me particularly turned on there is little you can do more than stroking my knees to give me an instant hard on.
As he continued to lick past my knees and hold my calf he slowly slid off the sock on my right foot. Then before I knew it he was licking my foot. Then my toes were in his mouth and he was jerking off like there was no tomorrow. While he was sucking my toes was actually the hardest I had ever seen his cock. It seemed that my toes and feet were his secret trick to getting really turned on.
I don't particularly get anything out of someone licking my feet or toes. It's not a turn on and it's not really a turn off either. It's a neutral for me. But I do find it funny that I keep finding these guys with odd sexual fetishes. I'm not sure if I just attract freaks or if I drag the freak out of everyone that I meet. It's like the eternal struggle of what came first the chicken or the egg.
After he sucked on my toes he came back up to my mouth and asked me if I would let him suck my dick now. There was no more avoiding it so I laid back and prepared myself. Then I was pleasantly surprised. he is actually quite a decent dick sucker. He even gagged himself a little bit on my cock, which is almost always hot and appreciated. Apparently when he is sober the gay genes kick in and he inherently remembers how to appropriately suck dick and live up to his stereotype. I enjoyed the dick sucking for a few minutes and that felt I had to warn him about what was to come.
Normally I have a decent load and I suspected that after 5 days of pent up frustration and being pretty well hydrated that he should at least be warned. I mean you don't want to be convicted of manslaughter by drowning during fellatio, right? He of course ignored my warning and we went back to fooling around. I finished him off pretty quickly by blowing him and then he wanted to make me cum. So we continued fooling around and then all of a sudden I came. It shot well above my head a few times and hit my shoulder until he threw his face in front of my spasming dick and took shot after shot on his cheek. When he finally thought it was over he took his face away and I shot twice more onto my stomach. He looked at me in shock and awe. I immediately apologized as I had gotten his comforter covered in cum and he had quite a bit dripping from his face. He laughed and said, "Well you warned me I just wasn't expecting that"
We hopped in the shower and cleaned off and then went back to his room where we began dressing.
********************************SFW**********************************
I almost always find that I have the best conversations with people directly after we have both cum. I think its something about the sexual tension being lifted out of the room that just makes the whole thing a little bit easier.
We talked for another 10 minutes about politics and life before I finally made a point to say I had to go. I think its important that I didn't stay longer than I planned. Since we are also seeing each other tonight I didn't want to make him think that things were moving too fast and then as I was putting on my shoes I realized that probably was not going to be a problem.
FaceBiter asked me if I would want to go to NY to go skiing with him next weekend. Yes the guy who I had been on, let's say, 1.5 dates with wanted to take me away for the weekend. I was flattered, but immediately wanted to run out of his house. It just seemed like such a commitment especially since I had really just met him. Suppose I found out that he was super weird in some way while we were away together and then I was stuck in a different state with no real means of getting home. My mama might have raised some babies with questionable values, but I'll be damned if she raised an idiot. I quickly pointed out that I thought a joint trip was probably not a great idea this early on and he seemed to agree.
Then I went home and contemplated what exactly I was getting myself into with this guy. I mean he is cute, around my age, and clearly very smart, but he is moving at a very fast pace for someone like me. Tonight I am going over to his place so he can make me dinner and we can watch a movie. I assume all of his roommates will be there as it is a Sunday night and I can't imagine that they have anywhere else to be being MIT grad students and all. So I guess we shall see how tonight goes. I will be sure to report back and maybe I will have a better sense of how long this will continue on for after dinner. I suppose I can always use my trip to the Dominican Republic as a way to get rid of him in the worst case scenario.
I'll write later tonight!
Chau!!
Tuesday, February 4, 2014
Call DCF I've Been Neglecting You
I don't even know where to begin really. I had so many plans for blogging in January and absolutely none of them came to fruition. 2014 is going to be one hell of a year...I can tell already.
Let me begin by saying that the reason I haven't blogged is not because I have been so inundated by dates or a one particular man that I have completely forgotten that it exists....quite the contrary. I started a second job working inpatient at another hospital in the city and I have barely even had time to think for the past month. Every time I sat down to write it seemed that I would either fall asleep or just have nothing to say. Its the eternal problem with my dating life really...I'm all about the job!
I was sure in trying to come up with a plan for 2014 that this would be the year I would finally get my personal life together. I've actually started going to the gym on a regular basis. I was finally feeling that I had my one job completely under control. I even had my little side projects well managed. Then I added the second job into the mix and everything seemed to shift slightly. I'm pretty sure after February things will probably calm down again and I will feel like I have a manageable workload and I can actually attempt dating like a real person again. Until then it is taking a back seat, per usual.
Well back to the updates and then I will continue to extrapolate on the reasons why I always choose my job and my academic life over dating.
I am still talking to the IndyGinger almost four months after meeting him. The conversations tend to be focused on him and I am okay with that. It's nice to talk to someone who calls me. He generally initiates the conversation whether on Facebook, text, or an actual phone call and I really like that a lot. It's too bad that he lives so far away. It's also too bad that he really does have a lot of self-esteem and depression stuff to overcome. I can only imagine the kind of psychological problems I would face having grown up in Kentucky so the fact that the guy is still standing at the end of everyday is amazing to me.
Unfortunately, the more I talk to the IndyGinger the more I am sure I am using him as a means of not going out and meeting new people. He is just another tool in this commitment phobe's toolbox. I mean there is no need for me to go out and strike up a conversation with someone interesting at the gym if I know I can go home and text a friend about it. I think that the IndyGinger may be using me as much as a tool in the commitment phobe toolbox as I'm using him. I'm sure talking to him everyday for the last week probably is not the best thing in the world to help my dating life. Oh well, for right now I am not going to push it. I'm just going to enjoy the fact that I have a friend who is easy to talk to and who only exists electronically....maybe one day he will get Skype and I'll actually be able to see him face to face.
This past weekend was a big fundraiser for the young gays of Boston so naturally I managed to get myself a free ticket. One of my lesbians called me last minute and insisted I accompany her as it was my chance to meet "Out-Gays-Who-Have-Their-Shit-Together". I went because quite frankly I wasn't doing anything else.
The event was held at the Revere Hotel in Downtown Boston and let me just say "Damn do the Homos know how to throw a fundraiser." There was a bar the minute you walked in and a second one in the giant warehouse like room beyond, there was an aerialist, there were veggie burger sliders, and there was of course a pretty cool DJ. I had a great time between the people I was with, the amount of gin I was consuming, and the music that was playing my Saturday was awesome.
Then as I was walking to pee I saw BRP. I should have known that he would be there as one of the politico-look-at-me-I'm-Important-Gays, but I didn't really come up with any sort of escape plan. Luckily, my lesbians are great and were able to hide me for the entirety of the night from him and any guy that I was not interested in talking to about some mundane chit chat. One guy had the balls the whole night to come talk with me standing among my lesbians and I have to say I wasn't annoyed at all . It was actually a residence director from one of the universities in Boston who I have always thought was cute. It's nice to know that people like that can at least be interested in you and are willing to bear the Birkenstocks to talk to you.
After the fundraiser ended we grabbed our coats and headed to the Liquor Store for a GQB event. I met up with one of my old college roommates in line waiting to get in and we ended up going together with some friends he met at a gay conference at Harvard. I got right into the club because I had a bracelet from the other fundraising event and left my ex-roommate and his new found friends at the door. Once I realized I had made it to the coat check without them I turned around and began trying to figure out where they went. I was walking up a narrow staircase next to a mechanical bull when I practically walked into BRP.
I had been doing so well at avoiding him at the other event it never even occurred to me that he may have transitioned over to this bar along with the rest of the hordes. Before I had even processed what was happening BRP physically lifted me off of the ground and held me in his arms smiling this big cheeky grin saying, "I've missed you." Almost as if it was an instinct my legs wrapped around his body and my arms flew around his neck. He looked up into my eyes and asked for a kiss.
I want everyone to take a minute and think about what this scene looks like. I am in a bar surrounded by a bunch of homos for the GQB night, a bunch of really confused straight people because its GQB night, I have a mechanical bull to my left, I have a line of people in front of me and behind me, and there is a stage to the right of me with two stripper poles, and here I am on the first step of a narrow staircase literally wrapped up in the arms of BRP. I had no other option....I gave him a quick peck on the lips and moved my hands for around his head to his chest and light hit him so as to make the point it was time to let me down because I had paid the troll my toll to cross his bridge. He obliged and I told him I was trying to find my friend and scurried off. I didn't see him the rest of the night.
Really the rest of the night went off without any problems. No problems and no action either....sort of a double edged sword. It was weird though as there were definitely people who appeared to be checking me out but nobody would even come and say hi. Whether that was because they had seen BRP lift me up, were afraid, or I had something stuck in my teeth is something that is still up for debate, but whatever the reason I wasn't totally offended by the result. It's nice to go out with friends and not get hit on sometimes.
I should mention that I did manage to go on one real date in January. I met this guy on OKC of course because I don't tend to meet anyone in person anymore who has the balls to actually ask me out. I think the appropriate nickname for this guy is the FaceBiter.
Allow me to explain: The FaceBiter is one of those guys who really enjoys the feel of facial hair/scruff. He likes the idea so much in fact that he rubbed his face against my 5 o'clock shadow and actually bit my chin or my cheek more than twice throughout the night.
A little more on the FaceBiter. It was actually one of those really easy good first dates. We met at Mike's in Davis Square after I worked all day and he had been in class. He beat me to the restaurant (no shocker there). He went in though and didn't sit down. He simply just waited for me to arrive before we went and got a seat. He is a pretty good catch beyond the face biting stuff. He is probably 6'1", heavier than me but not fat, he is Venezuelan, goes to MIT and works on Internet Policy, and he laughed at everything I said.
I really do enjoy having a sense of humor and making jokes out of everything, particularly those kinds of things which most people don't typically find funny. My brand of humor is a lot like me, either you get it and you love it or you don't get it and find it horribly offensive. He got it and laughed at some things that I didn't even intend to be jokes. We split a pitcher of beer and just talked for almost two hours. There was only one point in the conversation where one of my red flags went up. We were talking about how often/how much alcohol we drank when he told me he has about 20 drinks/week. In the moment I nodded and shook my head, but I was immediately comparing him to the alcoholic patients I treat in my work. 20 drinks/week is a pretty good amount of booze for one person every week and it is definitely over the recommended number of drinks per week.
In typical fashion after a semi good first date (by semi-good I mean no disclosure of past felonies) I invited him back to my place for another beer. Sitting on my couch enjoying a Blue Moon he made a move and actually started kissing me. We made out on the couch for a good 15 minutes until I finally made the suggestion to move to my bedroom. This was both because I thought it would be more comfortable for us, but it was also so my Fag Hag's straight boyfriend could walk about the house without having to see to guys make out. It's not that he is homophobic, but I am his first real foray into having a gay friend and we are still a little early in the game for him to be watching two dudes make out on the couch in front of him. I'll get him there, no worries, but all in time.
FaceBiter and I didn't have sex. We continued to hook up for about 2 hours, at first just playing around and then trading blowjobs. It was at this point where I found two more strikes against the FaceBiter. The first was that his dick was just not really what I am looking for in a man. It's not that his dick is to small, but rather its the proportions. It's on the short side and thick with a weirdly shaped shaft. The other strike against the FaceBiter was his use of his teeth during a blowjob.
The blowjob issue is rather amusing. FaceBiter loves to give head and LOVES to deep throat but every time my dick actually got into his throat it seemed like my dick would suddenly feel a bunch of little teeth around the base of the shaft. It was really disappointing. I was hoping that it would be one of his best assets....but I was wrong.
He claims that he is vers but judging on our interaction that boy is a sub bottom. He really wanted me to fuck him but luckily I was able to keep that in check and insist that he wait until next time. We played around. He came then he worked me over until I did and then we both passed out in my bed. The next morning I woke him up, we showered, and I dropped him off at home. He was going away the next weekend and wanted to know if he could see me again before that.....I wasn't able to make any plans but we have tentative plans for dinner this weekend. We'll see if that happens although I am less than optimistic since I have a bit of work to catch up on.
And with that I think everyone is caught up and I am now sufficiently tired enough to go to bed.
I promise another update very soon....
Until Next Time!
Chau!!
Let me begin by saying that the reason I haven't blogged is not because I have been so inundated by dates or a one particular man that I have completely forgotten that it exists....quite the contrary. I started a second job working inpatient at another hospital in the city and I have barely even had time to think for the past month. Every time I sat down to write it seemed that I would either fall asleep or just have nothing to say. Its the eternal problem with my dating life really...I'm all about the job!
I was sure in trying to come up with a plan for 2014 that this would be the year I would finally get my personal life together. I've actually started going to the gym on a regular basis. I was finally feeling that I had my one job completely under control. I even had my little side projects well managed. Then I added the second job into the mix and everything seemed to shift slightly. I'm pretty sure after February things will probably calm down again and I will feel like I have a manageable workload and I can actually attempt dating like a real person again. Until then it is taking a back seat, per usual.
Well back to the updates and then I will continue to extrapolate on the reasons why I always choose my job and my academic life over dating.
I am still talking to the IndyGinger almost four months after meeting him. The conversations tend to be focused on him and I am okay with that. It's nice to talk to someone who calls me. He generally initiates the conversation whether on Facebook, text, or an actual phone call and I really like that a lot. It's too bad that he lives so far away. It's also too bad that he really does have a lot of self-esteem and depression stuff to overcome. I can only imagine the kind of psychological problems I would face having grown up in Kentucky so the fact that the guy is still standing at the end of everyday is amazing to me.
Unfortunately, the more I talk to the IndyGinger the more I am sure I am using him as a means of not going out and meeting new people. He is just another tool in this commitment phobe's toolbox. I mean there is no need for me to go out and strike up a conversation with someone interesting at the gym if I know I can go home and text a friend about it. I think that the IndyGinger may be using me as much as a tool in the commitment phobe toolbox as I'm using him. I'm sure talking to him everyday for the last week probably is not the best thing in the world to help my dating life. Oh well, for right now I am not going to push it. I'm just going to enjoy the fact that I have a friend who is easy to talk to and who only exists electronically....maybe one day he will get Skype and I'll actually be able to see him face to face.
This past weekend was a big fundraiser for the young gays of Boston so naturally I managed to get myself a free ticket. One of my lesbians called me last minute and insisted I accompany her as it was my chance to meet "Out-Gays-Who-Have-Their-Shit-Together". I went because quite frankly I wasn't doing anything else.
The event was held at the Revere Hotel in Downtown Boston and let me just say "Damn do the Homos know how to throw a fundraiser." There was a bar the minute you walked in and a second one in the giant warehouse like room beyond, there was an aerialist, there were veggie burger sliders, and there was of course a pretty cool DJ. I had a great time between the people I was with, the amount of gin I was consuming, and the music that was playing my Saturday was awesome.
Then as I was walking to pee I saw BRP. I should have known that he would be there as one of the politico-look-at-me-I'm-Important-Gays, but I didn't really come up with any sort of escape plan. Luckily, my lesbians are great and were able to hide me for the entirety of the night from him and any guy that I was not interested in talking to about some mundane chit chat. One guy had the balls the whole night to come talk with me standing among my lesbians and I have to say I wasn't annoyed at all . It was actually a residence director from one of the universities in Boston who I have always thought was cute. It's nice to know that people like that can at least be interested in you and are willing to bear the Birkenstocks to talk to you.
After the fundraiser ended we grabbed our coats and headed to the Liquor Store for a GQB event. I met up with one of my old college roommates in line waiting to get in and we ended up going together with some friends he met at a gay conference at Harvard. I got right into the club because I had a bracelet from the other fundraising event and left my ex-roommate and his new found friends at the door. Once I realized I had made it to the coat check without them I turned around and began trying to figure out where they went. I was walking up a narrow staircase next to a mechanical bull when I practically walked into BRP.
I had been doing so well at avoiding him at the other event it never even occurred to me that he may have transitioned over to this bar along with the rest of the hordes. Before I had even processed what was happening BRP physically lifted me off of the ground and held me in his arms smiling this big cheeky grin saying, "I've missed you." Almost as if it was an instinct my legs wrapped around his body and my arms flew around his neck. He looked up into my eyes and asked for a kiss.
I want everyone to take a minute and think about what this scene looks like. I am in a bar surrounded by a bunch of homos for the GQB night, a bunch of really confused straight people because its GQB night, I have a mechanical bull to my left, I have a line of people in front of me and behind me, and there is a stage to the right of me with two stripper poles, and here I am on the first step of a narrow staircase literally wrapped up in the arms of BRP. I had no other option....I gave him a quick peck on the lips and moved my hands for around his head to his chest and light hit him so as to make the point it was time to let me down because I had paid the troll my toll to cross his bridge. He obliged and I told him I was trying to find my friend and scurried off. I didn't see him the rest of the night.
Really the rest of the night went off without any problems. No problems and no action either....sort of a double edged sword. It was weird though as there were definitely people who appeared to be checking me out but nobody would even come and say hi. Whether that was because they had seen BRP lift me up, were afraid, or I had something stuck in my teeth is something that is still up for debate, but whatever the reason I wasn't totally offended by the result. It's nice to go out with friends and not get hit on sometimes.
I should mention that I did manage to go on one real date in January. I met this guy on OKC of course because I don't tend to meet anyone in person anymore who has the balls to actually ask me out. I think the appropriate nickname for this guy is the FaceBiter.
Allow me to explain: The FaceBiter is one of those guys who really enjoys the feel of facial hair/scruff. He likes the idea so much in fact that he rubbed his face against my 5 o'clock shadow and actually bit my chin or my cheek more than twice throughout the night.
A little more on the FaceBiter. It was actually one of those really easy good first dates. We met at Mike's in Davis Square after I worked all day and he had been in class. He beat me to the restaurant (no shocker there). He went in though and didn't sit down. He simply just waited for me to arrive before we went and got a seat. He is a pretty good catch beyond the face biting stuff. He is probably 6'1", heavier than me but not fat, he is Venezuelan, goes to MIT and works on Internet Policy, and he laughed at everything I said.
I really do enjoy having a sense of humor and making jokes out of everything, particularly those kinds of things which most people don't typically find funny. My brand of humor is a lot like me, either you get it and you love it or you don't get it and find it horribly offensive. He got it and laughed at some things that I didn't even intend to be jokes. We split a pitcher of beer and just talked for almost two hours. There was only one point in the conversation where one of my red flags went up. We were talking about how often/how much alcohol we drank when he told me he has about 20 drinks/week. In the moment I nodded and shook my head, but I was immediately comparing him to the alcoholic patients I treat in my work. 20 drinks/week is a pretty good amount of booze for one person every week and it is definitely over the recommended number of drinks per week.
In typical fashion after a semi good first date (by semi-good I mean no disclosure of past felonies) I invited him back to my place for another beer. Sitting on my couch enjoying a Blue Moon he made a move and actually started kissing me. We made out on the couch for a good 15 minutes until I finally made the suggestion to move to my bedroom. This was both because I thought it would be more comfortable for us, but it was also so my Fag Hag's straight boyfriend could walk about the house without having to see to guys make out. It's not that he is homophobic, but I am his first real foray into having a gay friend and we are still a little early in the game for him to be watching two dudes make out on the couch in front of him. I'll get him there, no worries, but all in time.
FaceBiter and I didn't have sex. We continued to hook up for about 2 hours, at first just playing around and then trading blowjobs. It was at this point where I found two more strikes against the FaceBiter. The first was that his dick was just not really what I am looking for in a man. It's not that his dick is to small, but rather its the proportions. It's on the short side and thick with a weirdly shaped shaft. The other strike against the FaceBiter was his use of his teeth during a blowjob.
The blowjob issue is rather amusing. FaceBiter loves to give head and LOVES to deep throat but every time my dick actually got into his throat it seemed like my dick would suddenly feel a bunch of little teeth around the base of the shaft. It was really disappointing. I was hoping that it would be one of his best assets....but I was wrong.
He claims that he is vers but judging on our interaction that boy is a sub bottom. He really wanted me to fuck him but luckily I was able to keep that in check and insist that he wait until next time. We played around. He came then he worked me over until I did and then we both passed out in my bed. The next morning I woke him up, we showered, and I dropped him off at home. He was going away the next weekend and wanted to know if he could see me again before that.....I wasn't able to make any plans but we have tentative plans for dinner this weekend. We'll see if that happens although I am less than optimistic since I have a bit of work to catch up on.
And with that I think everyone is caught up and I am now sufficiently tired enough to go to bed.
I promise another update very soon....
Until Next Time!
Chau!!
Monday, September 30, 2013
Grave Robbing Just In Time For Halloween
If you haven't already guessed the newest guy is a little bit older than me.... I was born in the year 1990....He was not....He was born in 1975. This means that I am 23 and he is 37.
According to the standard age limit equation for the Lower Limit used by most people in America (Half your Age + 7) I am a little too young for him. His lower limit is 25.5. However, when you use the standard age limit equation for the Upper Limit (Double your Age - 7) He is within the acceptable age range for me. SO the math says this whole situation is really only half fucked up so its fine. Nevertheless, I'm going to call this guy Geri for a few reasons. One I like the simplicity of the name it matches the simplicity of his name in real life too. Two its short for geriatric...which is not really funny because 37 is not that old, but its a little amusing because technically he is closer in age to my mother than he is to me.
But let's get down to the nitty gritty shall we. Geri is a tall bald white guy. He has blue eyes, a scruffy beard, a nice smile, and a pretty good dresser.
Geri asked me out initially while I was working and I totally blew him off. But he was persistent and asked me out a second time and I....once again blew him off understanding that we had a pretty big age gap between the two of us. I don't really think he understood how young I was in comparison. Then he asked me out a third time directly for dinner or drinks and my first date rule kicked in. Prior to his third invitation he had never actually asked me out on a date so I felt no obligation to actually go. Then he did and I remembered that I have my one rule for dating....if someone has the balls to ask you out then you owe them at least a first date.
I agreed to a date, but not to dinner because I didn't want to commit myself to more than I could handle. Geri lives in Dorchester and I now live on the other side of the city so we decided we would meet halfway for both of us at Fajitas and Ritas downtown and split a pitcher of margaritas with the understand that if things went well we could always get another pitcher or some food.
I was of course running late for the date because of the stupid Red Line, but I texted ahead and let him know the situation. He understood and I as I walked through the door and saw him sitting at the bar I realized it was the first time he had ever seen me not in scrubs and I immediately regretted procrastinating buying a new untattered/unfrayed pair of jeans.
We decided pretty quickly to sit at one of the tables and get some appetizers because I hadn't eaten all day because I got called in to the office to deal with a patient. Everything went really well so we got a second pitcher of margaritas and split a few more nachos, just cheese and guac (I'm sure people thought we were ridiculous but they were delicious). Toward the end of the meal he admitted the dirty secret that he smoked cigarettes and asked if I would join him while he had a post food cigarette. I agreed and walked with him outside. While standing outside he revealed that he was half French Canadian and while this meant he could speak fluent French it also meant that he smoked at least his fair share of cigarettes. We went back into the restaurant after his cigarette and on the way in he grabbed my ass...which for some reason I didn't really find creepy, it way more playful than anything. I paid because I felt bad that I was late.
Geri then offered to go to a place in the North End for another drink. I was a little hesitant but ultimately I was having a really good time. We ended up going to the sister restaurant of the one he works at in the Back Bay. It was super swanky. We had a few drinks, a group of people bought us some shots just for being friendly, we ordered some food, and then we started talking with the young married couple next to us. They were asking all sorts of benign questions and then asked how long we had been together and where we had met. We both sort of froze and looked at each other and laughed while we almost simultaneously said, "Well its our first date."
Despite the rather obvious faux pax the conversation continued about different Boston goings-on, basic national news coverage, and favorite travel destinations. It was in the latter part of the conversation that Geri made a sort of offhand comment that he would love to take me to Montreal with him. I smiled and pretended like it hadn't happened, but I simply cannot overlook the fact that it was our first date and he was already planning a couples trip to Canada. After a two minute recovery period I got my wits back and quickly changed the subject to the giant rock sitting on the ring finger of the young bride.
This time Geri paid the bill and we headed out. I was planning on trying to get back to Davis Square before the T closed when I realized that it was not even 9:30 yet. We had covered a lot of ground not because the date was bad but because we had met at a little over 5p. Geri suggested we go to the Alley for a drink. I feigned resistance, but ultimately we went to the Alley for a beer. I was the youngest person there by at least 20 years if you don't count my date. I needed to pee and I headed to the bathroom....luckily Geri followed me in and picked the urinal right beside me. I am still unsure if it was because he needed to pee or if it was because he wanted to make sure that nothing happened to me in the bathroom of the sketchy old gay bar he wanted to go to.
Finally we left the Alley and started to head back toward the T and he offered to have me come back to his place. I was hesistant and I think its because he knew I didn't want to just go back and fuck him so he said, "No just come back, we won't have sex we will just watch a movie and cuddle and maybe kiss." How could I say no to that right?
On our way to the T we passed a young homeless man holding a change sign. Geri actually stopped brought the guy into Subway and bought him a sandwich, a cookie, and a drink and bought cookies for each of us too. Then Geri without batting an eye said, "Yea and you give him your card so you can help him." I was the most turned I had been in probably a year at the moment in the middle of the Subway.
We ended up back at his place and it really was a pretty uneventful sleepover. I blew him and he blew me and then we went to bed and passed out in each other's arms. The next morning I got at least 4 text messages and two calls from work and not once did he have anything to negative to say about it at all. Finally around 12 I left and headed home. I probably got home around 1 with a detour or two to grab a coffee on the way back to the apartment where all of my roomies were waiting for the stories from the night before. Mid-Storytelling my phone rang, it was Geri calling to make sure that I made it home safely. I was FLOORED!! He is just such a grown up and I am so ready to fake it! But I digress...we have another date coming up tomorrow so I will update you all then.
Chau!!
Christening the Shower
This post is a little late in coming but better late than never I guess right?
The day after my date with the Harvard Gaymer that solidified for me that it was not really going to work out the way I had envisioned it I decided to give Hickey a call. I mean for all intents and purposes we are still fuck buddies now that he has relented that he was a little crazy in the Panera incident. Much to my surprise he responded almost immediately to my text message and was up to come over that day. For those of you not following the timeline let me lay it out nice and simple for you. I went on a date with the Harvard Gaymer, he came home with me, spent the night, left, I texted Hickey, and he came over so we could fuck that afternoon.
Normally I would be very judgmental of someone who did this because after all....what the Hell you basically traded one guy in your bed for another....except for the fact that I never came with the Harvard Gaymer so I don't really think he counts because there was nothing satisfying sexually about that sleep over.
The sex with Hickey was once again absolutely PHENOMENAL! I've got to say there is definitely something to that old thought process that crazy people have the best sex. I think its something about the lack of inhibitions that crazy people naturally have that makes them inclined to be sexual savants.
I don't even know that the sex between Hickey and me is that out-of-this-world to be honest. I think our sexual chemistry for whatever reason just clicks. The times when he just wants to be thrown around and fucked hard I'm in the mood to pick him up and throw him on the bed and have my way with him. The times when I feel like I need good lay he is there with that enormous dick just waiting to have at it. I'm not complaining I just think it is one of those really unique situations.
The best part about the sex with Hickey was HANDS-DOWN....the fact that I was able to christen my new shower. The shower has four separate shower heads on the wall and a sort of rain down spout on the ceiling. It's an awesome shower and is one of the many reasons that my current residence is so amazing. Having sex while being pelted in lots of different directions with hot water is an experience that everyone should have. Its fun, hot, and just really relaxing. I will admit that despite the amazing sex I did find myself thinking....I could definitely someone simply because they had an awesome shower or bathtub. I still haven't decided how normal that thought process really is. I mean if I was bottoming sure there is normally a lot of time to think things over in your head if you banging someone boring, but if you're topping someone who is a total freak you have to have your wits about you and there I was contemplating how nice someone's shower would have to be for me to fuck them for that factor alone. My conclusion: For me to fuck someone based solely on their bathtub or shower it would have to be very similar to the Playboy Mansion Grotto....Yes I know that makes me seem like a total Gold Digger....and NO I do NOT care.
After the wonderful afternoon of sex, Hickey and I grabbed coffee and I brought him back home. Before dropping him off I found myself running through all of the scenarios in my head. Is there anyway I could start dating this guy again? Is there anyway that I could turn this into a short term dating situation? Could this become more of a Friends with Benefits thing and less of a Fuck Buddy thing? But as I stopped my car, once again, two or three houses down on his street to make sure his uber Guyanese father did not see him getting out of my car it dawned on me...I made the right choice, a Fair Life Choice if you will.
I actually have another update about my dating life but I am going to make it a separate post completely just so nothing gets confused.
So I guess that is it for this one...
Until the next post...
Chau!!
The day after my date with the Harvard Gaymer that solidified for me that it was not really going to work out the way I had envisioned it I decided to give Hickey a call. I mean for all intents and purposes we are still fuck buddies now that he has relented that he was a little crazy in the Panera incident. Much to my surprise he responded almost immediately to my text message and was up to come over that day. For those of you not following the timeline let me lay it out nice and simple for you. I went on a date with the Harvard Gaymer, he came home with me, spent the night, left, I texted Hickey, and he came over so we could fuck that afternoon.
Normally I would be very judgmental of someone who did this because after all....what the Hell you basically traded one guy in your bed for another....except for the fact that I never came with the Harvard Gaymer so I don't really think he counts because there was nothing satisfying sexually about that sleep over.
The sex with Hickey was once again absolutely PHENOMENAL! I've got to say there is definitely something to that old thought process that crazy people have the best sex. I think its something about the lack of inhibitions that crazy people naturally have that makes them inclined to be sexual savants.
I don't even know that the sex between Hickey and me is that out-of-this-world to be honest. I think our sexual chemistry for whatever reason just clicks. The times when he just wants to be thrown around and fucked hard I'm in the mood to pick him up and throw him on the bed and have my way with him. The times when I feel like I need good lay he is there with that enormous dick just waiting to have at it. I'm not complaining I just think it is one of those really unique situations.
The best part about the sex with Hickey was HANDS-DOWN....the fact that I was able to christen my new shower. The shower has four separate shower heads on the wall and a sort of rain down spout on the ceiling. It's an awesome shower and is one of the many reasons that my current residence is so amazing. Having sex while being pelted in lots of different directions with hot water is an experience that everyone should have. Its fun, hot, and just really relaxing. I will admit that despite the amazing sex I did find myself thinking....I could definitely someone simply because they had an awesome shower or bathtub. I still haven't decided how normal that thought process really is. I mean if I was bottoming sure there is normally a lot of time to think things over in your head if you banging someone boring, but if you're topping someone who is a total freak you have to have your wits about you and there I was contemplating how nice someone's shower would have to be for me to fuck them for that factor alone. My conclusion: For me to fuck someone based solely on their bathtub or shower it would have to be very similar to the Playboy Mansion Grotto....Yes I know that makes me seem like a total Gold Digger....and NO I do NOT care.
After the wonderful afternoon of sex, Hickey and I grabbed coffee and I brought him back home. Before dropping him off I found myself running through all of the scenarios in my head. Is there anyway I could start dating this guy again? Is there anyway that I could turn this into a short term dating situation? Could this become more of a Friends with Benefits thing and less of a Fuck Buddy thing? But as I stopped my car, once again, two or three houses down on his street to make sure his uber Guyanese father did not see him getting out of my car it dawned on me...I made the right choice, a Fair Life Choice if you will.
I actually have another update about my dating life but I am going to make it a separate post completely just so nothing gets confused.
So I guess that is it for this one...
Until the next post...
Chau!!
Monday, March 25, 2013
Just When you Thought it Couldn't Get Crazier...
So I got a little side tracked the last two weeks because I directed a musical (Yes, Apparently I am that gay...who knew?)
I forgot to tell you all what ended up happening with Hickey. So last we left off I had received a bunch of crazy text messages from him early in the morning. Well I met with him that evening to discuss things. We ended up meeting at his work and walking to a nearby Panera. Well when we got there we both got coffee and then sat down to begin the conversation.
Basically, Hickey reiterated everything he had said in his texts and I just sat and listened. He was fairly adamant that he had made up his mind that he was going to wait for me. Until I was willing to be his boyfriend. He was just going to wait me out....that was his plan...it was at this point that I realized I needed to do a little reality checking much like I do with my patients at work.
I looked him in the eye and just said, "Yea but I don't know that is necessarily going to happen. I mean I don't know that you and I are ever necessarily going to be boyfriends." Then he stared at me, the awkward stare he had done so many times before, and we just sat there. Then he looked at me and said ,"So we're through then."
I didn't know exactly how to respond. I said, "No that's not what I said, I just think that maybe you have different expectations of this than I do. If we keep dating that might the extent of it for me. That's what I'm saying." Then as if I had kicked him under the table, Hickey jumped to his feet and said, "No we're through."
Then as if it was a fucking movie he just kept repeating that, "No we're through. We're just through. That's it we're through." I tried to redirect him and repeated that "No that's not necessarily what I'm saying either. But it seems like you want it to be through, like maybe you're through." Then his volume increased and he half shouted, "No I'm not through, WE'RE through. We're through that's it." I had never been so angry that his jacket had that many buttons in my life. Things were getting to be quite the spectacle. He was repeating, "We're through" like a crazy person while angrily buttoning the endless number of buttons on his jacket. The small group of Asian people who hadn't spoken English yet at the table behind us were now staring. The black couple across the sitting area had also stopped talking and were holding hands and just openly staring at the two of us. And I just sat there, sipping my coffee. I mean what else would you do in that situation?
Every time I talked it just seemed to agitate Hickey more and the crazy level just kept kicking it up a notch. Finally he finished buttoning his jacket and he left the Panera in quite the gay huff. That is the last time I try to be a grown up about this kind of stuff. I mean if someone seems crazy I am just going to phase them out....its much less awkward then meeting them and let them be crazy again in public.
Well back to the drawing board...Maybe the spring will bring me some new sort of romance...Let's hope...
Chau!!
I forgot to tell you all what ended up happening with Hickey. So last we left off I had received a bunch of crazy text messages from him early in the morning. Well I met with him that evening to discuss things. We ended up meeting at his work and walking to a nearby Panera. Well when we got there we both got coffee and then sat down to begin the conversation.
Basically, Hickey reiterated everything he had said in his texts and I just sat and listened. He was fairly adamant that he had made up his mind that he was going to wait for me. Until I was willing to be his boyfriend. He was just going to wait me out....that was his plan...it was at this point that I realized I needed to do a little reality checking much like I do with my patients at work.
I looked him in the eye and just said, "Yea but I don't know that is necessarily going to happen. I mean I don't know that you and I are ever necessarily going to be boyfriends." Then he stared at me, the awkward stare he had done so many times before, and we just sat there. Then he looked at me and said ,"So we're through then."
I didn't know exactly how to respond. I said, "No that's not what I said, I just think that maybe you have different expectations of this than I do. If we keep dating that might the extent of it for me. That's what I'm saying." Then as if I had kicked him under the table, Hickey jumped to his feet and said, "No we're through."
Then as if it was a fucking movie he just kept repeating that, "No we're through. We're just through. That's it we're through." I tried to redirect him and repeated that "No that's not necessarily what I'm saying either. But it seems like you want it to be through, like maybe you're through." Then his volume increased and he half shouted, "No I'm not through, WE'RE through. We're through that's it." I had never been so angry that his jacket had that many buttons in my life. Things were getting to be quite the spectacle. He was repeating, "We're through" like a crazy person while angrily buttoning the endless number of buttons on his jacket. The small group of Asian people who hadn't spoken English yet at the table behind us were now staring. The black couple across the sitting area had also stopped talking and were holding hands and just openly staring at the two of us. And I just sat there, sipping my coffee. I mean what else would you do in that situation?
Every time I talked it just seemed to agitate Hickey more and the crazy level just kept kicking it up a notch. Finally he finished buttoning his jacket and he left the Panera in quite the gay huff. That is the last time I try to be a grown up about this kind of stuff. I mean if someone seems crazy I am just going to phase them out....its much less awkward then meeting them and let them be crazy again in public.
Well back to the drawing board...Maybe the spring will bring me some new sort of romance...Let's hope...
Chau!!
Saturday, January 19, 2013
New Year....Same Shit....
I have a few updates....
First, FTA is no longer. I didn't even have to break it to him in person. He texted me and basically knew it wasn't going to work. It was pretty painless actually which is pretty unusual for one of my dating adventures...well almost.
On New Years Eve I got a few texts from FTA. Most were normal, "So I guess we aren't going to be a thing" type texts but then there were a few that were pretty judgmental. I'm paraphrasing but basically a 25 year old virgin recovering alcoholic told me that I should examine my life and how fast I move with guys. Honestly, for a brief second I was a little concerned....and then he added, "But who knows, I mean I could go my whole life without sex and be fine" I mean who the Fuck says that.... Virgins...that's who....
After FTA I met another guy on OKCupid. This guy is 25 too, but has a job as a healthcare consultant, has his own apartment, and definitely has his life together which is a nice change of pace compared to FTA. I'm thinking I am going to call this one KFlip. He is actually really attractive, a little short, but he is Filipino and has a great body and cute face. He's smart and can carry on a conversation. But like every person I have ever dated there is always a catch right.... Per usual....He ISN'T OUT!!! Seriously I don't know why/how this keeps happening. I mean he is out to a certain extent. He is out to people in Boston and one of his brothers, but he isn't out to his friends and family in Chicago where he is from at all. Its not a problem so far he has been really great to go out with actually.
We have had two real dates. The first was coffee followed by sushi followed by a little bit of kissing at his place. The second date was even cuter. We went to Kings which is a bowling place here in Boston. We got drinks and food and bowled. It was very much a couple type of date which was nice. Then we went back to his place and fooled around. We didn't have sex, but we definitely got pretty hot and heavy, but at some point we sort stopped fooling around and took a nap. The funny thing was he was really really into it and then all of a sudden he wasn't anymore. I don't really know what happened. He kept saying that he liked me and that it wasn't me but I still can't help but think it was me.
To sort of ease the awkwardness I suggested we watch some TV so we laid on the couch and watched Gossip Girl. Unfortunately, my own horniness got the best of me and I definitely think I started to annoy him with my kissing him and stuff. He said he wanted to see me tomorrow though and take things slower. Its probably not a bad idea actually. I do sort of like him so we shall see where this one goes.
Then one more brief update about Romeo. Somehow Romeo sneaked right back into my life the same way he sneaked out. I am directing a musical this semester....I know its super gay, but hold your judgment...Lord knows I have enough to be judged for already. So Romeo saunters into my auditions after having not spoken to me in probably a month or so and belts As Long as Your Mine. Alright...I mean are you fucking kidding me with this shit? I couldn't make this shit up if I tried.... for my musical deprived friends...here's a video of the song so you know what it was that was being sung....
Yea that was a bit awkward for me to say the very least. What was worse is the fact that after my auditions that night I ran into him at the bar. While at the bar some frat guy started flirting with him and hitting on him and he kept coming over to me and the people we have as mutual friends to tell me all about it. I wanted to scream. And then he acted like it wasn't weird and gave me a hug when he left. Part of me definitely still likes him and wishes that it had been something that it wasn't. Part of me knows that it definitely worked out for the best though. He was not right for me and needs time to figure himself out, that's for sure. I hope that at some point we can have some sort of a conversation about it not being a thing anymore, but I am not holding out hope.
I guess for now I am just going to see where things go with KFlip. Maybe this time it will work out...at least for a little while. Who knows?
Chau!!
First, FTA is no longer. I didn't even have to break it to him in person. He texted me and basically knew it wasn't going to work. It was pretty painless actually which is pretty unusual for one of my dating adventures...well almost.
On New Years Eve I got a few texts from FTA. Most were normal, "So I guess we aren't going to be a thing" type texts but then there were a few that were pretty judgmental. I'm paraphrasing but basically a 25 year old virgin recovering alcoholic told me that I should examine my life and how fast I move with guys. Honestly, for a brief second I was a little concerned....and then he added, "But who knows, I mean I could go my whole life without sex and be fine" I mean who the Fuck says that.... Virgins...that's who....
After FTA I met another guy on OKCupid. This guy is 25 too, but has a job as a healthcare consultant, has his own apartment, and definitely has his life together which is a nice change of pace compared to FTA. I'm thinking I am going to call this one KFlip. He is actually really attractive, a little short, but he is Filipino and has a great body and cute face. He's smart and can carry on a conversation. But like every person I have ever dated there is always a catch right.... Per usual....He ISN'T OUT!!! Seriously I don't know why/how this keeps happening. I mean he is out to a certain extent. He is out to people in Boston and one of his brothers, but he isn't out to his friends and family in Chicago where he is from at all. Its not a problem so far he has been really great to go out with actually.
We have had two real dates. The first was coffee followed by sushi followed by a little bit of kissing at his place. The second date was even cuter. We went to Kings which is a bowling place here in Boston. We got drinks and food and bowled. It was very much a couple type of date which was nice. Then we went back to his place and fooled around. We didn't have sex, but we definitely got pretty hot and heavy, but at some point we sort stopped fooling around and took a nap. The funny thing was he was really really into it and then all of a sudden he wasn't anymore. I don't really know what happened. He kept saying that he liked me and that it wasn't me but I still can't help but think it was me.
To sort of ease the awkwardness I suggested we watch some TV so we laid on the couch and watched Gossip Girl. Unfortunately, my own horniness got the best of me and I definitely think I started to annoy him with my kissing him and stuff. He said he wanted to see me tomorrow though and take things slower. Its probably not a bad idea actually. I do sort of like him so we shall see where this one goes.
Then one more brief update about Romeo. Somehow Romeo sneaked right back into my life the same way he sneaked out. I am directing a musical this semester....I know its super gay, but hold your judgment...Lord knows I have enough to be judged for already. So Romeo saunters into my auditions after having not spoken to me in probably a month or so and belts As Long as Your Mine. Alright...I mean are you fucking kidding me with this shit? I couldn't make this shit up if I tried.... for my musical deprived friends...here's a video of the song so you know what it was that was being sung....
Yea that was a bit awkward for me to say the very least. What was worse is the fact that after my auditions that night I ran into him at the bar. While at the bar some frat guy started flirting with him and hitting on him and he kept coming over to me and the people we have as mutual friends to tell me all about it. I wanted to scream. And then he acted like it wasn't weird and gave me a hug when he left. Part of me definitely still likes him and wishes that it had been something that it wasn't. Part of me knows that it definitely worked out for the best though. He was not right for me and needs time to figure himself out, that's for sure. I hope that at some point we can have some sort of a conversation about it not being a thing anymore, but I am not holding out hope.
I guess for now I am just going to see where things go with KFlip. Maybe this time it will work out...at least for a little while. Who knows?
Chau!!
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