I've been SUPER busy at work lately. Between both jobs I have not really had any time to do anything on my own including some of those things that guys find so basic to everyday life. Luckily I usually can find time on the weekends to relax and deal with the things I have been putting off all week.
I got a text message from Hickey this week apologizing for pushing me away. The funny thing about this is I was unaware that it was even happening. In retrospect I guess I hadn't heard from him in a while, but I honestly didn't even realize it because I had been so busy. Ultimately, I made plans with Hickey to meet up on Saturday and just fool around in our usual fashion. He actually made a request that I save up for him, if you catch my drift, and I of course complied. I'm all about trying to appease the person I'm with and I'm not above giving up some of the normal occurrences of life if it means I am going to get some and the person I fool around with will be happier for it.
Unfortunately, I had to work Friday night so I figured Saturday might be a little rough, but it was the only day I still had available. I would also just like to say working outside of a gay club doing testing when I was planning on having sex the next day was just not really fun. All of the patients who were flirting with me definitely found me flirting back, which probably wasn't professional, but it definitely helped in securing more patients.
I digress....Saturday morning came around and I contacted Hickey about getting together and did not hear back. After five days of waiting this was definitely not a good situation for me. I tried him on Facebook and eventually got an answer. He was busy with some sort of family emergency and would not be able to see me. Fucking Awesome! I was dying I was so so SO SO horny. The kicker is I figured out after the fact that there really was no family emergency Hickey was getting a tattoo...
I suppose it's really my own fault. I know that Hickey has feelings for me beyond just being a fuck buddy. I have tried to be very honest with him that I can not reciprocate those feelings, but I have been definitely taking advantage of the fact that he has those feelings for me. I think he is getting to the point where it really is not a health thing for him anymore and I suppose I should really respect that. He likes the idea of being able to be a fuck buddy with me but the feelings he has for me are quickly going to go from fondness to bitterness if I'm not careful.
Around 1:00p I realized that there was really no point in me wasting 5 days of pent up frustration on my right hand so I texted the FaceBiter. I know...Probably not the best move. We had a date/Still do have a date planned for tonight. He is making dinner and we are going to watch a movie. But I figured maybe he wouldn't mind fooling around a little bit on a Saturday afternoon.
He responded almost instantly and told me that he would have his whole place to himself around 3 if I could come by then. I obliged and waited. It took me probably 20 minutes to find a parking spot by his place in Inman Square but eventually I did. He showed me around his apartment, which is nice, but very I'm a grad student with limited resources. There are four guys that I think live there and the apartment definitely had a bro-atmosphere to it. I now understand why people see my apartment and think it is so grown up. Everything is clean, and tidy, and we have home accessories. The perks of a gay guy, three girls, and an ICU nurse in one apartment I suppose.
After a quick tour of the house we ended up in his room making out. He is still a FaceBiter and actually made a point to ask me to not shave before tomorrow and let my facial hair grow a little bit more. This is funny to me for a few reasons. One is that I am incredibly lazy when it comes to my facial hair and I really do find shaving to be a big pain in the ass. Two is that my family, my mother and father, both hate me with any sort of facial hair. Three is that I don't really think my facial hair grows evenly. I am not one of the lucky guys that looks good with a bit of scruff. I look like I am a homeless Latino vagrant not a sexy plaid-wearing lumberjack.
*********************************NSFW*******************************
The making out quickly turned into fooling around. Before I knew it we were both taking off our clothes. I started by blowing him and he was even more appreciative this time then he was the first time. I just kept getting compliments from him and I had to stop pretty quickly to make sure that I didn't ruin all the fun too early. He tried to go in to return the favor, but I just kept remembering the teeth and pretty creatively was able to avoid that situation.
After about 15-20 minutes of fooling around he finally decided it was time to fuck. He pulled a condom out of his drawer and warned me that I was the biggest guy he had ever been with sexually. I was floored. My dick is not big, by any means so the whole situation was a bit of a shocker to me. I knowingly nodded and let him know that I would be gentle and do my best not to hurt him. Eventually after several minutes of trying I finally was able to get in, but after maybe 5 minutes of actual fucking he just couldn't take it anymore. I pulled out and insisted that it was absolutely fine. We didn't have to fuck.
However, I did try and get him to switch it up and fuck me. To be honest his dick is pretty small and I wasn't particularly worried about being able to take it. He threw on a condom lubed up, but just couldn't really get inside me. It was odd. It wasn't that I was in pain it was almost as if he my ass was too fat and his dick was too small. I've never encountered this problem before actually. But in almost every angle my ass appeared to keep his dick from inserting more than just the head inside me. Eventually he gave up. I think the combination of him not being a top and not really being able to figure out the right angle to get his dick inside me properly was pretty discouraging for him. I again insisted that it was good and that we could do something else in place of actually fucking.
It was at this point that he really wanted to just lick me. I really didn't give this much thought as licking tends to be an essential part of hooking up in the gay world. In fact licking from my neck down my torso to my genitals all tended to be pretty standard gay fare until he kept licking. All of a sudden he was licking down my thighs well past my point of my crotch. He then started to lick right over my knees.
Fun fact I have highly sensitive knees. I always have. If you're trying to get me particularly turned on there is little you can do more than stroking my knees to give me an instant hard on.
As he continued to lick past my knees and hold my calf he slowly slid off the sock on my right foot. Then before I knew it he was licking my foot. Then my toes were in his mouth and he was jerking off like there was no tomorrow. While he was sucking my toes was actually the hardest I had ever seen his cock. It seemed that my toes and feet were his secret trick to getting really turned on.
I don't particularly get anything out of someone licking my feet or toes. It's not a turn on and it's not really a turn off either. It's a neutral for me. But I do find it funny that I keep finding these guys with odd sexual fetishes. I'm not sure if I just attract freaks or if I drag the freak out of everyone that I meet. It's like the eternal struggle of what came first the chicken or the egg.
After he sucked on my toes he came back up to my mouth and asked me if I would let him suck my dick now. There was no more avoiding it so I laid back and prepared myself. Then I was pleasantly surprised. he is actually quite a decent dick sucker. He even gagged himself a little bit on my cock, which is almost always hot and appreciated. Apparently when he is sober the gay genes kick in and he inherently remembers how to appropriately suck dick and live up to his stereotype. I enjoyed the dick sucking for a few minutes and that felt I had to warn him about what was to come.
Normally I have a decent load and I suspected that after 5 days of pent up frustration and being pretty well hydrated that he should at least be warned. I mean you don't want to be convicted of manslaughter by drowning during fellatio, right? He of course ignored my warning and we went back to fooling around. I finished him off pretty quickly by blowing him and then he wanted to make me cum. So we continued fooling around and then all of a sudden I came. It shot well above my head a few times and hit my shoulder until he threw his face in front of my spasming dick and took shot after shot on his cheek. When he finally thought it was over he took his face away and I shot twice more onto my stomach. He looked at me in shock and awe. I immediately apologized as I had gotten his comforter covered in cum and he had quite a bit dripping from his face. He laughed and said, "Well you warned me I just wasn't expecting that"
We hopped in the shower and cleaned off and then went back to his room where we began dressing.
********************************SFW**********************************
I almost always find that I have the best conversations with people directly after we have both cum. I think its something about the sexual tension being lifted out of the room that just makes the whole thing a little bit easier.
We talked for another 10 minutes about politics and life before I finally made a point to say I had to go. I think its important that I didn't stay longer than I planned. Since we are also seeing each other tonight I didn't want to make him think that things were moving too fast and then as I was putting on my shoes I realized that probably was not going to be a problem.
FaceBiter asked me if I would want to go to NY to go skiing with him next weekend. Yes the guy who I had been on, let's say, 1.5 dates with wanted to take me away for the weekend. I was flattered, but immediately wanted to run out of his house. It just seemed like such a commitment especially since I had really just met him. Suppose I found out that he was super weird in some way while we were away together and then I was stuck in a different state with no real means of getting home. My mama might have raised some babies with questionable values, but I'll be damned if she raised an idiot. I quickly pointed out that I thought a joint trip was probably not a great idea this early on and he seemed to agree.
Then I went home and contemplated what exactly I was getting myself into with this guy. I mean he is cute, around my age, and clearly very smart, but he is moving at a very fast pace for someone like me. Tonight I am going over to his place so he can make me dinner and we can watch a movie. I assume all of his roommates will be there as it is a Sunday night and I can't imagine that they have anywhere else to be being MIT grad students and all. So I guess we shall see how tonight goes. I will be sure to report back and maybe I will have a better sense of how long this will continue on for after dinner. I suppose I can always use my trip to the Dominican Republic as a way to get rid of him in the worst case scenario.
I'll write later tonight!
Chau!!
Showing posts with label funny. Show all posts
Showing posts with label funny. Show all posts
Sunday, February 9, 2014
Sunday, December 22, 2013
Your Ass Tastes Minty....
I basically ended things with BRP recently. He kept texting me to hang out and every time we made tentative plans something kept coming up; a patient at work, a snow storm, the death of my phone battery. After two reschedules and BRP being more than understanding I realized I was not being fair. I wanted BRP to want me. I liked being wanted and wooed, but I knew there was something off about the two of us romantically. I still can't really put my finger on it just something in my gut that tells me a few dates were never going to turn into any legitimate. He took the news as expected, curtly, and I thought that I had probably heard from him with a final okay.
Then this weekend, again on Friday night. I assume he was out drinking and I got a text message that said one of my college friends who also works with the Senator was out with him and she wanted to say hello. That and she thought the two of us would make a fantastic couple. I didn't know how to respond at first. Eventually, I said hello to my friend and agreed that we should be a great couple. He questioned my use of the word should. I quickly explained that on paper we are really good for each other, but in real life it just doesn't seem to be fair to him. He makes time to see me and get coffee or dinner and I constantly cancel on him for one crisis or another. While I knew the romantic chemistry was not right too, I decided to leave that one alone.
For some reason whenever you question the romantic chemistry of another person with yourself they automatically become defensive. I find this absolutely hysterical. Its not like I am bashing you in anyway if I say the chemistry between the two of us isn't there. It has nothing to do with your attractiveness, your dick size, or your personality; if it was one of those things I would just say so. A lack or spark of chemistry is one of those unaccountable things. Its one of the unquanitfiables in the world. For a lot of people I think that concept is really hard. People like concrete things and answers to say that the chemistry just seems off appears to be a cop out to most. I assure you that is not the case. Some times, no matter how good someone is for you on paper (a nonwhite, out, musclebound, politico) there just isn't any chemistry. And other times when someone should have never even entered your list of possibilities (a white, longhaired, ginger, Wiccan) the spark of chemistry is completely undeniable.
This brings me to the next thing....I am still talking with IndyGinger. We text regularly, we both now follow each other on Instagram, and in the past few weeks I have even spoken to him on the phone at length a few times. What is really odd is that there are almost two versions of the IndyGinger when we speak on the phone. There is the IndyGinger who I met in Indianapolis who is really bubbly, happy, and optimistic and then there is the IndyGinger who is so riddled with self esteem issues and body insecurities that I feel like I am talking with a patient and not a guy who I like. We've talked about that and he agrees. Part of me wishes that he would move here just to get out of the toxic environment that is Indianapolis for him, but that will never happen. He is definitely very comfortable with where he is located. Again, I'm going to continue to talk to him and see where things go though, because there is no point in stopping something I really enjoy if at some point something could happen to reveal an opportunity where something might be able to work out for us.
Now to get to the fun stuff....I guess you can say that I buried the lead. Many of you may be new to reading this and may have forgotten about Tiny. Well so had I...romantically at least. I still consider Tiny a pretty good friend and he has seemed lonely since a lot of his gay friends moved out of the city this year. We were supposed to go out last weekend and I ended up staying in because of the snow, but I invited him over to my place to drink and watch crappy lifetime movies. Tiny of course brought his usual friend....the one who I have yet to name...I'm thinking Tiny's Sure Thing or TST for short. So Tiny and TST were both over and we were drinking and just generally having a good time. It was just a couple of gay friends hanging out and I genuinely thought that is how the night was going to progress. TST at one point put his arms around me but whenever I got touchy feely he simply lifted my hand and shoved it back on my own lap. I was getting mixed messages. After a little while, and feeling slightly rejected, I decided to head into my bed leaving Tiny and TST to sleep on the couch.
I was not even in my bed 5 minutes when Tiny came walking in the door and asking if he could share my bed. In my drunken stupor I agreed, and still thought nothing of it. Then Tiny was face to face with me and we started making out. Then his pants were off, then my pants were off, then his shirt, then my shirt, then before I knew it there we were naked and just going at it. I stopped it all and said, "For the record we are just friends who are hooking up right?" I wanted to know where I stood. I have always thought Tiny was attractive but have been so rejected by him before I didn't really know what to expect. Tiny then told me, "Yea we are just friends and I find you attractive and I want to hook up with you."
**************************************NSFW**************************************
With that we went back to making out and touching each other. Even though Tiny is short he is super aggressive. He always says that he is vers but the reality is he is all top and will occasionally bottom for a boyfriend who asks. I didn't mind the aggression because for the last 6 months I have been only hooking up with one person who really prefers bottoming. I wasn't sure if we were going to have sex, but I needed to make a few things clear with Tiny at this point since I know his MO. "I don't mind if you fuck me, but you have to wear a condom. I don't care if your dick gets soft." Tiny looked at me almost dejectedly and I didn't care. I have never had anal sex without a condom and I was most certainly not going to go down that road with Tiny. I then moved down to blow Tiny and get him rock hard. He has a good sized dick, but really his biggest asset are his balls. I would say 80-85% of Tiny's bulge, which is above average, is composed of his balls.
After I got Tiny going he flipped me over and started rimming me and fingering me. I have to admit this was a blast. I hadn't had someone aggressively rim me or finger me in a while and it just felt so good. Then it was time to fuck so he flipped me over one more time. As I was getting the condom and the lube Tiny looked at me and asked, "What do you clean your ass with because its delicious. Its like minty."
I'm telling you I couldn't make this stuff up if I fucking tried. For the record, I don't try to have my ass taste minty. Its not like I am giving myself a Scope Enema or anything. I do however have a brand of soap Every Man Jack that is one of the all natural Trader Joe's types of liquid soap that I use that apparently has some lasting effects. So if you are looking for my secret to a minty ass...I would use a mint scented soap and wash you asshole with warm water and soap while you shower :)
The condom went on and Tiny's dick didn't immediately soften so I tried to get on top at first. This was a HUGE failure. I forgot that when you don't bottom for a while it takes some time to get yourself back into the swing of things. I eventually got myself into the doggy position and after a 3 minutes adjustment period was ready to go. Tiny was pounding away and I was loving it. It felt fantastic. Tiny was grabbing my hands behind my back for leverage and really going to town. We changed positions again and everything was fine, but as we attempted to change how we were fucking for the third time Tiny's dick became like Play-Do after sitting in the sun all day.
Tiny tried fervently to bring the blood back into the shaft of his penis so he could finish what he started but it seemed as though nothing was working. I decided the whole situation was getting pretty sad. Even if Tiny couldn't fuck me maybe I could blow him, or jerk him off, or something so that he could cum...and in turn I would be able to cum. I threw out the option to Tiny and he requested being able to jerk off onto my back while he fingered my hole. I obliged and flipped over. Within seconds Tiny found my prostate and began stimulating it like a democrat trying to fix the economy (see I can make political jokes too). I was loving every second of it and Tiny definitely appeared to be getting close. After a few minutes of fingering I had a first. I orgasmed without actually cumming. As Tiny was fingering my prostate I could feel these pre-orgasm muscle contractions starting to develop in my arms, stomach, and legs, then before I knew it I was hit with this wave of ecstasy. It felt just like I was cumming only....no cum....It was fascinating. At that point I think Tiny assumed I had cum. He flipped me over and seemed a little surprised to see nothing but my raging hard on staring back at him.
**********************************SFW*****************************************
Tiny finally gave up. I told him that it was okay of course because that is what you are supposed to do in these situations, but I really had a good understanding of what had happened. Tiny always blames a condom, but he is also usually intoxicated when he hooks up with people. I think Tiny has a lot of self-esteem issues. I know, from being his friend, that his anxiety is out of this world. The fact that Tiny and I hooked up is an indicator to me not that he is into me but that he needed to prove people liked him. I also think that most of the reason Tiny hooked up with me is because he wanted to make TST jealous.
Whatever the reason, it happened and I didn't hate it. Even though neither one of us came, I still enjoyed myself. I have no real feelings for Tiny, probably even less after the situation last night, but he is still a really good friend. I don't think there is a problem with hooking up with one of your good friends.
Gay people get shit for this all the time. That we sleep with all of our friends. I have a news flash for everyone though....so do straight people. It just so happens that it usually breaks down differently. Allow me to explain. Generally speaking, straight people have friends within their own gender groups ( a group of guy friends or a group of girlfriends). Almost inevitably (most clearly evident in college) a group of guys befriends a group of girls. These two groups then pass each other back and for like a bowl of mashed potatoes on Thanksgiving. The difference between straight people and gay people is that gay people have no base friend group to retreat to after their hookup. Straight guys retreat back to their boys and straight girls go back to their biddies discussing each of their triumphs and travesties with the people in their opposite, but corresponding gender friend group.
This morning TST jumped in bed with Tiny and I and we went back to our conversations about boys, school, and life in general as if there was nothing unusual with Tiny being in his underwear in my bed, which in truth there wasn't at all. Tiny did have a fairly sizable hickey on his neck though (apparently I am more aggressive than I anticipated). I felt bad, not because TST figured out who had given Tiny the hickey, but because Tiny had a date that afternoon. OOOOOPS!! I guess I'm just glad it wasn't my date. I brought both Tiny and TST to the train and saw them off on their way. I am sure that I will continue to be friends with Tiny regardless of whether or not we ever hook up again. He is funny and neurotic and fits in quite well with the gay position that I need filled in my life.
Thinking that is all I have for now. I might have more after Christmas but you never know. Don't hesitate to say Hi!! Also....Merry Christmas,
Chau!!!
Then this weekend, again on Friday night. I assume he was out drinking and I got a text message that said one of my college friends who also works with the Senator was out with him and she wanted to say hello. That and she thought the two of us would make a fantastic couple. I didn't know how to respond at first. Eventually, I said hello to my friend and agreed that we should be a great couple. He questioned my use of the word should. I quickly explained that on paper we are really good for each other, but in real life it just doesn't seem to be fair to him. He makes time to see me and get coffee or dinner and I constantly cancel on him for one crisis or another. While I knew the romantic chemistry was not right too, I decided to leave that one alone.
For some reason whenever you question the romantic chemistry of another person with yourself they automatically become defensive. I find this absolutely hysterical. Its not like I am bashing you in anyway if I say the chemistry between the two of us isn't there. It has nothing to do with your attractiveness, your dick size, or your personality; if it was one of those things I would just say so. A lack or spark of chemistry is one of those unaccountable things. Its one of the unquanitfiables in the world. For a lot of people I think that concept is really hard. People like concrete things and answers to say that the chemistry just seems off appears to be a cop out to most. I assure you that is not the case. Some times, no matter how good someone is for you on paper (a nonwhite, out, musclebound, politico) there just isn't any chemistry. And other times when someone should have never even entered your list of possibilities (a white, longhaired, ginger, Wiccan) the spark of chemistry is completely undeniable.
This brings me to the next thing....I am still talking with IndyGinger. We text regularly, we both now follow each other on Instagram, and in the past few weeks I have even spoken to him on the phone at length a few times. What is really odd is that there are almost two versions of the IndyGinger when we speak on the phone. There is the IndyGinger who I met in Indianapolis who is really bubbly, happy, and optimistic and then there is the IndyGinger who is so riddled with self esteem issues and body insecurities that I feel like I am talking with a patient and not a guy who I like. We've talked about that and he agrees. Part of me wishes that he would move here just to get out of the toxic environment that is Indianapolis for him, but that will never happen. He is definitely very comfortable with where he is located. Again, I'm going to continue to talk to him and see where things go though, because there is no point in stopping something I really enjoy if at some point something could happen to reveal an opportunity where something might be able to work out for us.
Now to get to the fun stuff....I guess you can say that I buried the lead. Many of you may be new to reading this and may have forgotten about Tiny. Well so had I...romantically at least. I still consider Tiny a pretty good friend and he has seemed lonely since a lot of his gay friends moved out of the city this year. We were supposed to go out last weekend and I ended up staying in because of the snow, but I invited him over to my place to drink and watch crappy lifetime movies. Tiny of course brought his usual friend....the one who I have yet to name...I'm thinking Tiny's Sure Thing or TST for short. So Tiny and TST were both over and we were drinking and just generally having a good time. It was just a couple of gay friends hanging out and I genuinely thought that is how the night was going to progress. TST at one point put his arms around me but whenever I got touchy feely he simply lifted my hand and shoved it back on my own lap. I was getting mixed messages. After a little while, and feeling slightly rejected, I decided to head into my bed leaving Tiny and TST to sleep on the couch.
I was not even in my bed 5 minutes when Tiny came walking in the door and asking if he could share my bed. In my drunken stupor I agreed, and still thought nothing of it. Then Tiny was face to face with me and we started making out. Then his pants were off, then my pants were off, then his shirt, then my shirt, then before I knew it there we were naked and just going at it. I stopped it all and said, "For the record we are just friends who are hooking up right?" I wanted to know where I stood. I have always thought Tiny was attractive but have been so rejected by him before I didn't really know what to expect. Tiny then told me, "Yea we are just friends and I find you attractive and I want to hook up with you."
**************************************NSFW**************************************
With that we went back to making out and touching each other. Even though Tiny is short he is super aggressive. He always says that he is vers but the reality is he is all top and will occasionally bottom for a boyfriend who asks. I didn't mind the aggression because for the last 6 months I have been only hooking up with one person who really prefers bottoming. I wasn't sure if we were going to have sex, but I needed to make a few things clear with Tiny at this point since I know his MO. "I don't mind if you fuck me, but you have to wear a condom. I don't care if your dick gets soft." Tiny looked at me almost dejectedly and I didn't care. I have never had anal sex without a condom and I was most certainly not going to go down that road with Tiny. I then moved down to blow Tiny and get him rock hard. He has a good sized dick, but really his biggest asset are his balls. I would say 80-85% of Tiny's bulge, which is above average, is composed of his balls.
After I got Tiny going he flipped me over and started rimming me and fingering me. I have to admit this was a blast. I hadn't had someone aggressively rim me or finger me in a while and it just felt so good. Then it was time to fuck so he flipped me over one more time. As I was getting the condom and the lube Tiny looked at me and asked, "What do you clean your ass with because its delicious. Its like minty."
I'm telling you I couldn't make this stuff up if I fucking tried. For the record, I don't try to have my ass taste minty. Its not like I am giving myself a Scope Enema or anything. I do however have a brand of soap Every Man Jack that is one of the all natural Trader Joe's types of liquid soap that I use that apparently has some lasting effects. So if you are looking for my secret to a minty ass...I would use a mint scented soap and wash you asshole with warm water and soap while you shower :)
The condom went on and Tiny's dick didn't immediately soften so I tried to get on top at first. This was a HUGE failure. I forgot that when you don't bottom for a while it takes some time to get yourself back into the swing of things. I eventually got myself into the doggy position and after a 3 minutes adjustment period was ready to go. Tiny was pounding away and I was loving it. It felt fantastic. Tiny was grabbing my hands behind my back for leverage and really going to town. We changed positions again and everything was fine, but as we attempted to change how we were fucking for the third time Tiny's dick became like Play-Do after sitting in the sun all day.
Tiny tried fervently to bring the blood back into the shaft of his penis so he could finish what he started but it seemed as though nothing was working. I decided the whole situation was getting pretty sad. Even if Tiny couldn't fuck me maybe I could blow him, or jerk him off, or something so that he could cum...and in turn I would be able to cum. I threw out the option to Tiny and he requested being able to jerk off onto my back while he fingered my hole. I obliged and flipped over. Within seconds Tiny found my prostate and began stimulating it like a democrat trying to fix the economy (see I can make political jokes too). I was loving every second of it and Tiny definitely appeared to be getting close. After a few minutes of fingering I had a first. I orgasmed without actually cumming. As Tiny was fingering my prostate I could feel these pre-orgasm muscle contractions starting to develop in my arms, stomach, and legs, then before I knew it I was hit with this wave of ecstasy. It felt just like I was cumming only....no cum....It was fascinating. At that point I think Tiny assumed I had cum. He flipped me over and seemed a little surprised to see nothing but my raging hard on staring back at him.
**********************************SFW*****************************************
Tiny finally gave up. I told him that it was okay of course because that is what you are supposed to do in these situations, but I really had a good understanding of what had happened. Tiny always blames a condom, but he is also usually intoxicated when he hooks up with people. I think Tiny has a lot of self-esteem issues. I know, from being his friend, that his anxiety is out of this world. The fact that Tiny and I hooked up is an indicator to me not that he is into me but that he needed to prove people liked him. I also think that most of the reason Tiny hooked up with me is because he wanted to make TST jealous.
Whatever the reason, it happened and I didn't hate it. Even though neither one of us came, I still enjoyed myself. I have no real feelings for Tiny, probably even less after the situation last night, but he is still a really good friend. I don't think there is a problem with hooking up with one of your good friends.
Gay people get shit for this all the time. That we sleep with all of our friends. I have a news flash for everyone though....so do straight people. It just so happens that it usually breaks down differently. Allow me to explain. Generally speaking, straight people have friends within their own gender groups ( a group of guy friends or a group of girlfriends). Almost inevitably (most clearly evident in college) a group of guys befriends a group of girls. These two groups then pass each other back and for like a bowl of mashed potatoes on Thanksgiving. The difference between straight people and gay people is that gay people have no base friend group to retreat to after their hookup. Straight guys retreat back to their boys and straight girls go back to their biddies discussing each of their triumphs and travesties with the people in their opposite, but corresponding gender friend group.
This morning TST jumped in bed with Tiny and I and we went back to our conversations about boys, school, and life in general as if there was nothing unusual with Tiny being in his underwear in my bed, which in truth there wasn't at all. Tiny did have a fairly sizable hickey on his neck though (apparently I am more aggressive than I anticipated). I felt bad, not because TST figured out who had given Tiny the hickey, but because Tiny had a date that afternoon. OOOOOPS!! I guess I'm just glad it wasn't my date. I brought both Tiny and TST to the train and saw them off on their way. I am sure that I will continue to be friends with Tiny regardless of whether or not we ever hook up again. He is funny and neurotic and fits in quite well with the gay position that I need filled in my life.
Thinking that is all I have for now. I might have more after Christmas but you never know. Don't hesitate to say Hi!! Also....Merry Christmas,
Chau!!!
Monday, August 5, 2013
A Lot of Duplications...
I had a date for the first time since coming back from PTown on Thursday with a guy I met from OkCupid. It was more or less a typical kind of date for me. This guy had a lot of similarities with other disastrous dates that I have been on. The oddest part was that each duplicate thing on its own was a less extreme version of some previous date nonsense but collectively made for one typical date of ridiculousness.
I guess I should start with this guy's name....or my nickname that is....Mini Asian Harvard Architect or MAHA....
So MAHA invited me to go for coffee at Cafe Algiers which was actually a really excellent date choice. I was running a little late which unfortunately happens all the time with me...I really need to get better at that, but I digress. I showed up and MAHA was sitting at the table waiting patiently for me. I got a delicious mint coffee and he got mint tea and we actually had a really great conversation talking about traveling, work, and prostitutes (I think anyone who has a conversation for more than 5 minutes with me ends up talking about prostitutes though). After much talking we decided to go for a walk around Harvard Square but before hand we both wanted to go to the bathroom. I headed to the bathroom first and then he went when I got back.
When MAHA got up to go to the bathroom was the first time I realized how short he was. Seriously, I'm going to be generous and say that this guy was about 5'4" When we started walking around Harvard Square I realized that he had a really cute butt and was actually quite adorable....a perfect Pocket Gay, a little reminiscent of Tiny.
As we continued our walk through Harvard Square MAHA started pointing out to me all of the different buildings and there architectural significance. It was actually quite adorable. We ended up outside of one of the gardens of the graduate architecture school. I couldn't take it anymore and just had to kiss him. We then proceeded to kiss and make out overlooking Harvard Square for a good 20-30 minutes. At the end of the 20-30 minutes somehow MAHA and I ended up going back to his place so he could grab his stuff and join me back at my place.
Once we got back to my place we started fooling around after I had picked up my room a little while he was in the bathroom peeing. I really had not intended this date to go in this way at all so I hadn't even really made my bed....Ooops!
Well after making out for a while and MAHA vigorously grinding his crotch into my own I stopped him and just had to ask, "So are you a top or a bottom? I mean I know we said no sex, but I'm just curious." He looked at me and actually told me to guess. What was confusing about this guy is that at first glance he definitely should be a bottom...he is 5'4", Asian, cute bubble butt....however his body language and demeanor screamed top...well except for the being a pussy about making a move to kiss me part. Sure enough he told me that he was exclusively a top. Isn't that always the way though....just like with who's gay and who's straight.
*************************************NSFW*************************************
We continued to fool around and each one of use proceeded to lose more and more clothing until finally we were both naked. It was at this moment that I realized he was completely hairless except for his head, a little bit of his pubic hair directly above his cock, his legs and his arm pits. Now I am not a guy that particularly likes hair, but on someone so short and petite that lack of body hair really seemed odd.
Eventually, I, of course, was sucking his dick. To be honest, for a full blooded Chinese guy he actually had a decent sized dick. It was by no means massive, but it was of average size and was nothing to be ashamed about certainly. And it dripped precum pretty steadily the whole time we were fooling around so that was cool.
After sucking his dick for a while and watching him squirm during the blowjob I finally went back up to kiss him which he allowed me to do rather reluctantly. This annoyed me if I am going to be completely honest with you. I can understand a straight guy being an asshole about something like making out with his girlfriend after he cums in her mouth, but a gay guy after a blowjob that didn't end in a cumshot? Come on dude...MAN THE FUCK UP!!
Eventually we were back to fooling around with a lot of heavy touching and a few things of note happened. Firstly, he revealed to me that he loved thigh fucking a guy. (So this is the second guy over 30 in the last month who was into thigh fucking....WHEN DID THIS BECOME A THING??? Did I miss a gay meeting or something? Is it in the minutes? I wish someone would enlighten me about this phenomenon and why all of a sudden so many of the guys I am seeing are into it.) Secondly, the guy kept making an intimation that he would like to move the whole situation to the shower. It was an odd request especially since no one had even cum yet and there was no mess to clean up. Thirdly, the guy definitely hated sucking cock. He would bring his head down to my dick and lick the shaft once before totally giving up. I had never really run into this problem before if I am being honest. Usually gay men love to suck dick and if they don't then they never even make the effort. But to make such a feeble effort to lick my dick twice like a Bertie Botts Booger flavored lollipop was just too much. Eventually I got him to suck it properly, but I didn't want to push it.
After fooling around for a few hours I finally just started really teasing the hell out of the guy between my hands and my mouth. And then he said, "Okay so I know that you made that joke about working with 'your' people earlier, but seriously were you ever a hooker?" I was so taken aback by the comment that I didn't even respond. Instead I just focused my efforts and made the guy blow a huge load all over himself.
That is rude though right? I mean even if you think your date use to be a hooker shouldn't you just keep that thought to yourself? What if I had been a hooker when I was younger....would you really want to know that? Would you really want to rehash those memories for me mid-blowjob?
After he came he was clearly uncomfortable with the cum on his body so I offered to shower with him. We both hopped in the shower and he kept trying to convince me to get myself off, but I just didn't feel like it. We then ended up just cuddling and going to bed. I was big spoon...which just further confused me about his Top Only status.
I woke up early to the sounds of heavy rain and thunder and lightning. I was immediately turned on. I don't know if I am the only person who feels this way, but there is something so erotic about a thunder and lightning storm that I become instantly horny the minute one begins. It was really convenient that MAHA had his chest and hard dick pressing against my own. We proceeded to fool around in our early morning haze until he got a phone call probably around 7. He answered the phone and it was his mother who told him that she would be waiting for him at South Station at 8am to head back to Connecticut with him, where they both lived.
I almost started giggling it seemed so ridiculous, but I held it together and simply said, "So you should go then?" And his reply was actually pretty nice, "No I have at least 5 minutes....do you think you can cum that fast?" I laughed and just got to work....I busted pretty quickly and he insisted that he could not cum or he would fall asleep on his mother. We then got dressed and I drove him to South Station with a raging hard-on hiding in his jeans.
*****************************SFW********************************************
On the ride to South Station I made a comment about maybe coffee again some other time or drinks and he was very vague and noncommittal in his answer which I assume means he wasn't really interested in a second date. To each his own I suppose. At South Station he got out of the car and actually gave me a kiss good bye before heading into the train station to find his mother and I headed to Dunkin Donuts to grab a coffee on my way home. Once home I hopped in bed and just passed out for a few hours before I woke up to a gloriously sunny day and brought my ass to the beach.
Its funny how this guy on paper seemed so good, but in practice was just so clearly not right. I don't know how I am ever going to find someone who is as good in real life as they are on paper. However, on the bright side at least this guy was out. Judging by some of his behaviors when we were fooling around I am going to say that he is probably pretty sexually repressed but at least this time it is because of his Asian heritage and not because he is afraid someone is going to find out he is gay....Its a step in the right direction. YAY for little victories!!!
Well I guess that is all I have for this time...
Until my next date!
Chau!!
I guess I should start with this guy's name....or my nickname that is....Mini Asian Harvard Architect or MAHA....
So MAHA invited me to go for coffee at Cafe Algiers which was actually a really excellent date choice. I was running a little late which unfortunately happens all the time with me...I really need to get better at that, but I digress. I showed up and MAHA was sitting at the table waiting patiently for me. I got a delicious mint coffee and he got mint tea and we actually had a really great conversation talking about traveling, work, and prostitutes (I think anyone who has a conversation for more than 5 minutes with me ends up talking about prostitutes though). After much talking we decided to go for a walk around Harvard Square but before hand we both wanted to go to the bathroom. I headed to the bathroom first and then he went when I got back.
******Completely Off Topic
I would like to take a moment just to comment on bathroom etiquette while on a gay date. Every gay man should know that you can't both go to the bathroom at the same time. If two gay men go to the bathroom at the same time while on a date everyone assumes that they are hooking up in the bathroom. If two gay men go to the bathroom at the same time while on a date one of them will assume the other wants to hook up in the bathroom. If you truly want to have a respectable date everyone knows you have to go to the bathroom at different times.
*******Back on Topic
When MAHA got up to go to the bathroom was the first time I realized how short he was. Seriously, I'm going to be generous and say that this guy was about 5'4" When we started walking around Harvard Square I realized that he had a really cute butt and was actually quite adorable....a perfect Pocket Gay, a little reminiscent of Tiny.
As we continued our walk through Harvard Square MAHA started pointing out to me all of the different buildings and there architectural significance. It was actually quite adorable. We ended up outside of one of the gardens of the graduate architecture school. I couldn't take it anymore and just had to kiss him. We then proceeded to kiss and make out overlooking Harvard Square for a good 20-30 minutes. At the end of the 20-30 minutes somehow MAHA and I ended up going back to his place so he could grab his stuff and join me back at my place.
Once we got back to my place we started fooling around after I had picked up my room a little while he was in the bathroom peeing. I really had not intended this date to go in this way at all so I hadn't even really made my bed....Ooops!
Well after making out for a while and MAHA vigorously grinding his crotch into my own I stopped him and just had to ask, "So are you a top or a bottom? I mean I know we said no sex, but I'm just curious." He looked at me and actually told me to guess. What was confusing about this guy is that at first glance he definitely should be a bottom...he is 5'4", Asian, cute bubble butt....however his body language and demeanor screamed top...well except for the being a pussy about making a move to kiss me part. Sure enough he told me that he was exclusively a top. Isn't that always the way though....just like with who's gay and who's straight.
*************************************NSFW*************************************
We continued to fool around and each one of use proceeded to lose more and more clothing until finally we were both naked. It was at this moment that I realized he was completely hairless except for his head, a little bit of his pubic hair directly above his cock, his legs and his arm pits. Now I am not a guy that particularly likes hair, but on someone so short and petite that lack of body hair really seemed odd.
Eventually, I, of course, was sucking his dick. To be honest, for a full blooded Chinese guy he actually had a decent sized dick. It was by no means massive, but it was of average size and was nothing to be ashamed about certainly. And it dripped precum pretty steadily the whole time we were fooling around so that was cool.
After sucking his dick for a while and watching him squirm during the blowjob I finally went back up to kiss him which he allowed me to do rather reluctantly. This annoyed me if I am going to be completely honest with you. I can understand a straight guy being an asshole about something like making out with his girlfriend after he cums in her mouth, but a gay guy after a blowjob that didn't end in a cumshot? Come on dude...MAN THE FUCK UP!!
Eventually we were back to fooling around with a lot of heavy touching and a few things of note happened. Firstly, he revealed to me that he loved thigh fucking a guy. (So this is the second guy over 30 in the last month who was into thigh fucking....WHEN DID THIS BECOME A THING??? Did I miss a gay meeting or something? Is it in the minutes? I wish someone would enlighten me about this phenomenon and why all of a sudden so many of the guys I am seeing are into it.) Secondly, the guy kept making an intimation that he would like to move the whole situation to the shower. It was an odd request especially since no one had even cum yet and there was no mess to clean up. Thirdly, the guy definitely hated sucking cock. He would bring his head down to my dick and lick the shaft once before totally giving up. I had never really run into this problem before if I am being honest. Usually gay men love to suck dick and if they don't then they never even make the effort. But to make such a feeble effort to lick my dick twice like a Bertie Botts Booger flavored lollipop was just too much. Eventually I got him to suck it properly, but I didn't want to push it.
After fooling around for a few hours I finally just started really teasing the hell out of the guy between my hands and my mouth. And then he said, "Okay so I know that you made that joke about working with 'your' people earlier, but seriously were you ever a hooker?" I was so taken aback by the comment that I didn't even respond. Instead I just focused my efforts and made the guy blow a huge load all over himself.
That is rude though right? I mean even if you think your date use to be a hooker shouldn't you just keep that thought to yourself? What if I had been a hooker when I was younger....would you really want to know that? Would you really want to rehash those memories for me mid-blowjob?
After he came he was clearly uncomfortable with the cum on his body so I offered to shower with him. We both hopped in the shower and he kept trying to convince me to get myself off, but I just didn't feel like it. We then ended up just cuddling and going to bed. I was big spoon...which just further confused me about his Top Only status.
I woke up early to the sounds of heavy rain and thunder and lightning. I was immediately turned on. I don't know if I am the only person who feels this way, but there is something so erotic about a thunder and lightning storm that I become instantly horny the minute one begins. It was really convenient that MAHA had his chest and hard dick pressing against my own. We proceeded to fool around in our early morning haze until he got a phone call probably around 7. He answered the phone and it was his mother who told him that she would be waiting for him at South Station at 8am to head back to Connecticut with him, where they both lived.
I almost started giggling it seemed so ridiculous, but I held it together and simply said, "So you should go then?" And his reply was actually pretty nice, "No I have at least 5 minutes....do you think you can cum that fast?" I laughed and just got to work....I busted pretty quickly and he insisted that he could not cum or he would fall asleep on his mother. We then got dressed and I drove him to South Station with a raging hard-on hiding in his jeans.
*****************************SFW********************************************
On the ride to South Station I made a comment about maybe coffee again some other time or drinks and he was very vague and noncommittal in his answer which I assume means he wasn't really interested in a second date. To each his own I suppose. At South Station he got out of the car and actually gave me a kiss good bye before heading into the train station to find his mother and I headed to Dunkin Donuts to grab a coffee on my way home. Once home I hopped in bed and just passed out for a few hours before I woke up to a gloriously sunny day and brought my ass to the beach.
Its funny how this guy on paper seemed so good, but in practice was just so clearly not right. I don't know how I am ever going to find someone who is as good in real life as they are on paper. However, on the bright side at least this guy was out. Judging by some of his behaviors when we were fooling around I am going to say that he is probably pretty sexually repressed but at least this time it is because of his Asian heritage and not because he is afraid someone is going to find out he is gay....Its a step in the right direction. YAY for little victories!!!
Well I guess that is all I have for this time...
Until my next date!
Chau!!
Sunday, April 7, 2013
The Harvard Gaymer
Well I am back at it.....I went on a date on Wednesday night with another guy I met off the online dating website. I am determined to find one normal person who I can date regularly.....
Let me begin by describing the guy: Physically he is about 6 feet tall, black, a little bit of scruff, huge hands and really long arms. He is also super smart. He goes to Harvard and is a math and computer science major which is pretty cool, different than me which I always appreciate. He is originally from Atlanta and is actually quite the catch I think. Some other lets not say issues, but complications, he is wicked into gaming (like video and computer games) and he like oh-so-many of the guys I've dated before is not out to his family. Not a huge issue since he is out in Boston and all of his friends at school know he's gay/bi.
Now for details about the date. For the record I'm calling this guy the Harvard Gaymer because he goes to Harvard and is so into the gaming...I think its appropriate.
So where do I begin. When we were trying to figure out when we could meet we ultimately decided that we could get together Wednesday despite my 12 hour long shift working because he would come and meet me in the city so I wouldn't have to head into Cambridge. The fact that he was willing to come and meet me won him major points. Then we settled on coffee at the Starbucks on the corner of Mass Ave and Boylston. I thought this would be perfect because it was walking distance for me and he could just hop on the 1 bus.
What I didn't take into account was that this guy went to Harvard....so super smart, but little to no common sense. About 10 minutes after he was supposed to meet me I decided to text him and figure out where he was. Apparently the green line was running late......Yes that's right this Harvard Gaymer had decided to take the Red Line and then the Green line to a place that was literally right off of the 1 Bus. It was at that point that I decided I would just meet him and we could walk some place closer.....and then just when I thought the directional skills couldn't get any worse....he told me, "Yea I just got off at Copley." Priceless, I know, but I didn't want to judge him to prematurely.
When I finally found him we grabbed coffee and headed back to Northeastern to see one of my friends perform in her acapella group, Pitch, Please! (you can check out videos of them there). I thought it would be a fun first date type of activity and I had already promised my friend I would go. We ended up sitting on the ground and listening for the entire set and then we left.
I could tell that he wanted an invite back to my place, which I was definitely wary of giving. I wasn't wary because I thought I might do something I would regret, but I was just worried about having to show off my atrocious room to someone who I had a good first date with so far. I split the difference and ended up inviting him up to the 16th floor common room of my building so he could check out a real view of the city. We ended up sitting right next to each other on an oversized chair and before I knew it we were kissing.
Great kisser! Just the right amount of playful and aggressive. After making out for probably five minutes we just continue to sit in the chair and talk withn his arms wrapped around me.....it was at this point I realized how big his hands were. I'm not saying this as an innuendo for his dick by the way. I'm talking about this guy's actual hands...they were huge and dwarfed mine in comparison. It was nice to have someone wrap there arms around me and just hold me with such big arms and hands for a change...that hasn't happened for a very long time and I definitely was not unhappy about it happening then.
During the conversations between making out I actually learned a lot about him. The two most important things: 1. He is a virgin for all intents and purposes and 2. He is a HUGE nerd. Most of you are probably judging me and saying that you just assumed these things by the fact that he is a black computer science major at Harvard, but I hold out hope folks....what can I say.... Ways I learned this information....welll he flat out told me the only time he ever had anal sex it lasted for three seconds and then he changed his mind. And then he made an error bars joke while kissing....that's right he made a math joke about kissing what a dweeb....and yet how endearing.....
Eventually after an hour or so of making out and just talking I realized where this night was going and insisted that he go home and not spend the night. I like him, for now at least, and I definitely don't want him to get the wrong impression. So I walked him first to grab something to eat and then to the 1 bus so he could get home.
On the walk to the bus I learned something about him that definitely piques my interest....he is a self-professed former fatty. Those of you who know me know that I have a theory that hasn't been wrong yet. Former fatties and former acne laden teenagers are usually the best in bed. They all are now attractive, but still have the I-Need-To-Make-Up-For-My-Looks-Self-Esteem which makes them a rock star in bed. There is nothing I love hearing more when talking to a really attractive guy that they used to get made fun of in middle school....some people may say....awww and feel bad, but in my head all I can think is JACKPOT!!
But I digress, he got on the bus and I walked home. We've been texting off and on all week and I actually have another date with him tonight, this time on his turf. So I guess I should head home so I can get ready to head out to Cambridge. Wish me luck!
Until next time....
Chau!!
Let me begin by describing the guy: Physically he is about 6 feet tall, black, a little bit of scruff, huge hands and really long arms. He is also super smart. He goes to Harvard and is a math and computer science major which is pretty cool, different than me which I always appreciate. He is originally from Atlanta and is actually quite the catch I think. Some other lets not say issues, but complications, he is wicked into gaming (like video and computer games) and he like oh-so-many of the guys I've dated before is not out to his family. Not a huge issue since he is out in Boston and all of his friends at school know he's gay/bi.
Now for details about the date. For the record I'm calling this guy the Harvard Gaymer because he goes to Harvard and is so into the gaming...I think its appropriate.
So where do I begin. When we were trying to figure out when we could meet we ultimately decided that we could get together Wednesday despite my 12 hour long shift working because he would come and meet me in the city so I wouldn't have to head into Cambridge. The fact that he was willing to come and meet me won him major points. Then we settled on coffee at the Starbucks on the corner of Mass Ave and Boylston. I thought this would be perfect because it was walking distance for me and he could just hop on the 1 bus.
What I didn't take into account was that this guy went to Harvard....so super smart, but little to no common sense. About 10 minutes after he was supposed to meet me I decided to text him and figure out where he was. Apparently the green line was running late......Yes that's right this Harvard Gaymer had decided to take the Red Line and then the Green line to a place that was literally right off of the 1 Bus. It was at that point that I decided I would just meet him and we could walk some place closer.....and then just when I thought the directional skills couldn't get any worse....he told me, "Yea I just got off at Copley." Priceless, I know, but I didn't want to judge him to prematurely.
When I finally found him we grabbed coffee and headed back to Northeastern to see one of my friends perform in her acapella group, Pitch, Please! (you can check out videos of them there). I thought it would be a fun first date type of activity and I had already promised my friend I would go. We ended up sitting on the ground and listening for the entire set and then we left.
I could tell that he wanted an invite back to my place, which I was definitely wary of giving. I wasn't wary because I thought I might do something I would regret, but I was just worried about having to show off my atrocious room to someone who I had a good first date with so far. I split the difference and ended up inviting him up to the 16th floor common room of my building so he could check out a real view of the city. We ended up sitting right next to each other on an oversized chair and before I knew it we were kissing.
Great kisser! Just the right amount of playful and aggressive. After making out for probably five minutes we just continue to sit in the chair and talk withn his arms wrapped around me.....it was at this point I realized how big his hands were. I'm not saying this as an innuendo for his dick by the way. I'm talking about this guy's actual hands...they were huge and dwarfed mine in comparison. It was nice to have someone wrap there arms around me and just hold me with such big arms and hands for a change...that hasn't happened for a very long time and I definitely was not unhappy about it happening then.
During the conversations between making out I actually learned a lot about him. The two most important things: 1. He is a virgin for all intents and purposes and 2. He is a HUGE nerd. Most of you are probably judging me and saying that you just assumed these things by the fact that he is a black computer science major at Harvard, but I hold out hope folks....what can I say.... Ways I learned this information....welll he flat out told me the only time he ever had anal sex it lasted for three seconds and then he changed his mind. And then he made an error bars joke while kissing....that's right he made a math joke about kissing what a dweeb....and yet how endearing.....
Eventually after an hour or so of making out and just talking I realized where this night was going and insisted that he go home and not spend the night. I like him, for now at least, and I definitely don't want him to get the wrong impression. So I walked him first to grab something to eat and then to the 1 bus so he could get home.
On the walk to the bus I learned something about him that definitely piques my interest....he is a self-professed former fatty. Those of you who know me know that I have a theory that hasn't been wrong yet. Former fatties and former acne laden teenagers are usually the best in bed. They all are now attractive, but still have the I-Need-To-Make-Up-For-My-Looks-Self-Esteem which makes them a rock star in bed. There is nothing I love hearing more when talking to a really attractive guy that they used to get made fun of in middle school....some people may say....awww and feel bad, but in my head all I can think is JACKPOT!!
But I digress, he got on the bus and I walked home. We've been texting off and on all week and I actually have another date with him tonight, this time on his turf. So I guess I should head home so I can get ready to head out to Cambridge. Wish me luck!
Until next time....
Chau!!
Monday, March 4, 2013
Hairy Little Beast....
Okay this is a short one proving that old habits don't die hard....in fact old habits just never die. Its Saturday night and I have been invited to a party by my roommates for one of their cousin's 21st. One of my roommates seems to have the absolute epitome of no game. I mean he might actually be the first person I have ever met with negative game. So I decided I was going to try and play wingman for him and see if I could get him any ass.
I spent over half an hour talking with this one girl. She was primed and ready to go and actually seemed to show a genuine interest in my roommate which I as the helpful gay friend was able to exploit and magnify to a different level. All my roommate now had to do was close...not bad right? Well he was acting like a pussy trying to get this girl to come home with him. He wouldn't make a move. He then, drunkenly, made a statement to the effect that "if making a move is so easy how come I don't see you doing it". It was at this point that I began scouring the party for any other gay guy there.
Then I saw him in the corner. Some small pocket gayby was just sitting in the corner on the phone. So to prove a point, as is too often the case with me, I went over to the gayby and said, "Get off the phone" He looked stunned that someone had spoken to him. He started babbling about who was on the phone, why he was sitting in the corner, and why he was ignoring the party and in typical fashion I just grabbed him and shoved my tongue down his throat. And almost instantaneously the phone was hung up. After about 5 minutes of making out I invited the guy back to my place. On the way out the door I gave my roommate a smug look and dragged the unsuspecting gayby behind me.
When I got home I realized just how drunk this guy was as he was trying to take off his clothes. I also realized that although the guy appeared to be the perfect pocket gayby....he was actually covered in body hair. But covered in a very uniform and almost sexy way. It is very unusual for me to be attracted to someone white, hairy, short, and pretty flamboyant, but apparently after a few drinks and a challenge from a roommate my type changes a little bit.
We started going at it almost immediately and I realized that this gayby was more screwed up than I though. The Hairy Little Beast (HLB) started telling me all about the guys he had been with since he came out 6 months ago (shocker there right). Apparently this kid had already had rectal Gonorrhea twice. And that was my cue to avoid actually having sex with him. Then when the kid whipped his pants off and I saw that his dick was about the same size as PillHeads I realized that this was definitely a PLC.
Man I had been doing so well too...but I guess some things will never change.
Oh the best part, HLB decided, as I was trying to blow him in much the same manner I use to blow PillHead (balls and cock at once) that he wasn't into it and didn't want to cum. Then in the morning he called me the wrong name. Then he told me that he was just not into me at all physically but continue to sleep and cuddle in my bed until I said, "So are you just going to stay here after that" Then he took the hint and hit the road.
You'd think at this point in my life I would be able to ignore a dumb comment from a roommate with negative game, but I guess that is not the case once I've had a few drinks in me. Oh well....whatcha gonna do, right?
Until next time...
Chau!!
I spent over half an hour talking with this one girl. She was primed and ready to go and actually seemed to show a genuine interest in my roommate which I as the helpful gay friend was able to exploit and magnify to a different level. All my roommate now had to do was close...not bad right? Well he was acting like a pussy trying to get this girl to come home with him. He wouldn't make a move. He then, drunkenly, made a statement to the effect that "if making a move is so easy how come I don't see you doing it". It was at this point that I began scouring the party for any other gay guy there.
Then I saw him in the corner. Some small pocket gayby was just sitting in the corner on the phone. So to prove a point, as is too often the case with me, I went over to the gayby and said, "Get off the phone" He looked stunned that someone had spoken to him. He started babbling about who was on the phone, why he was sitting in the corner, and why he was ignoring the party and in typical fashion I just grabbed him and shoved my tongue down his throat. And almost instantaneously the phone was hung up. After about 5 minutes of making out I invited the guy back to my place. On the way out the door I gave my roommate a smug look and dragged the unsuspecting gayby behind me.
When I got home I realized just how drunk this guy was as he was trying to take off his clothes. I also realized that although the guy appeared to be the perfect pocket gayby....he was actually covered in body hair. But covered in a very uniform and almost sexy way. It is very unusual for me to be attracted to someone white, hairy, short, and pretty flamboyant, but apparently after a few drinks and a challenge from a roommate my type changes a little bit.
We started going at it almost immediately and I realized that this gayby was more screwed up than I though. The Hairy Little Beast (HLB) started telling me all about the guys he had been with since he came out 6 months ago (shocker there right). Apparently this kid had already had rectal Gonorrhea twice. And that was my cue to avoid actually having sex with him. Then when the kid whipped his pants off and I saw that his dick was about the same size as PillHeads I realized that this was definitely a PLC.
Man I had been doing so well too...but I guess some things will never change.
Oh the best part, HLB decided, as I was trying to blow him in much the same manner I use to blow PillHead (balls and cock at once) that he wasn't into it and didn't want to cum. Then in the morning he called me the wrong name. Then he told me that he was just not into me at all physically but continue to sleep and cuddle in my bed until I said, "So are you just going to stay here after that" Then he took the hint and hit the road.
You'd think at this point in my life I would be able to ignore a dumb comment from a roommate with negative game, but I guess that is not the case once I've had a few drinks in me. Oh well....whatcha gonna do, right?
Until next time...
Chau!!
Tuesday, February 26, 2013
Hickey Part Deux
After our second rendezvous Hickey sort of turned into a stage 5 clinger, and by sort of I mean 'beyond a shadow of a doubt'. This guy texted me every day after our second date. At first it was nice and cute...and then the text messages kept coming, and each subsequent text message kept getting longer, and more sappy, until before you knew it I was getting things like this:
"Its okay. I know your a busy man. I'm very patient. :) I'm just glad to know that your okay. I miss you a lot."
and this:
"I don't have any plans either but I was gonna ask you to be my Valentine." and when I responded I don't really do the Valentine's day thing I received...."LMAO its okay. I don't really do Valentine's day either. I was just kidding. And I don't hate you I was telling my coworkers, love stinks. When am I gonna see you?"
And then on Valentine's Day I got this:
"Happy Valentine's Day my love. Hope your day is filled with lots and lots of love. From me to you. Hugs and Kisses....(cute pet name that I will spare you that Hickey has given to himself)."
I'm thinking that all of those things equate to at least a stage 5 clinger right? But I digress, I decided that I would make some time for an evening type date....maybe a drink and an appetizer kind of a thing. And away we went to a very popular place near the Fenway called Landsdowne Pub its a great place with some decent food. Well on a Thursday at 5:30 with the threat of snow...the place was dead...I mean DEAD. Like there were three times as many people working there as there was customers in the whole place. That made the whole beginning of the date a little awkward.
Then as the date progressed...Hickey didn't want a drink and didn't want to eat anything. Meanwhile I had ordered a beer before Hickey even showed up and had been eyeing a plate of fries and gravy since I walked in. So now I felt fat and like alcoholic but that wasn't even the worst part. The worst part was that Hickey didn't talk. It was like the awkward first date all over again. He kept staring at me with these blank expressions, giggling, and then looking down. Finally I couldn't take it anymore and I simply asked him what the deal was. He dismissed my question and claimed that there was nothing and then finally came clean and asked me about KFlip...
The guy was still stuck on the fact that I wasn't exclusively dating him after only two dates. I mean come on right? Maybe its me, but that seems absolutely INSANE. When I informed Hickey that I hadn't heard from KFlip in almost two weeks (WOMP WOMP...ANOTHER ONE BITES THE DUST) He got this big smile on his face and then began talking like a bubbly school girl.
When we left the restaurant I had every intention of sending Hickey on his way with maybe a goodnight kiss but that was about it. My plan was to redirect the stage 5 clinger slowly with a normal date with no physical intimacy. Well that was going well until we ended up going back to my school to unlock a piano for one of my friends...(For the record that is not an innuendo for anything the pianos at my school actually require a key that only certain people have its pretty ridiculous actually)
While waiting for someone to show up we started kissing. Not even two minutes into the kissing the dirty talk started. All of a sudden the quiet guy from the pub became the dirtiest talking motherfucker I have come across in a long time, but I was still sticking to my guns about the physical intimacy thing....and then he said something that just made my toes curl..."I want to bite your dick and suck on your asshole like a vacuum." Now to be honest I really have no true interest in either one of those things ever occurring to me, but in the heat of the moment that kind of dirty talk totally got me going. And before I knew what I was doing we were in my dorm room going at it.
I was still planning on holding my ground, but something during the hooking up came over me and before I knew it we were having sex. Condoms were used of course because while I am all about breaking my dry spell I was not about breaking my record for 100% condom use 100% of the time. (I'm such a good little doobie) And the sex was GREAT!
Honestly, I'm saying that, but I'm not even positive. I haven't had sex in so long I could have had absolutely terrible sex and I still probably though it was pretty good. But if I am truly recalling correctly this was some pretty great sex. Hickey has a nice sized dick, a dirty mouth, a rough approach, and was willing to both top and bottom, which totally made my fucking day. I really do love someone who is as versatile as I am....I'm not really sure he is....actually I am pretty sure he is more of a top, but whatever he let me fuck him so I am going to pretend he is a true vers like me.
After the sex and post-coital cordialities had been expressed I broke Hickey's total euphoric state and warned him..."No crazy...I fucked you but that means you can't become crazy." I mean that was probably pretty mean, but I didn't want to risk the stage 5 clinger become a full-fledged stage 12...I always think frankness is the best policy.
I'm proud to say it worked too! I texted Hickey to make sure he got home and then he didn't text me again until I talked to him 3 days after our date. Who knows maybe Hickey will turn out to be more than a friend after all?
Until Later!
Chau!!
"Its okay. I know your a busy man. I'm very patient. :) I'm just glad to know that your okay. I miss you a lot."
and this:
"I don't have any plans either but I was gonna ask you to be my Valentine." and when I responded I don't really do the Valentine's day thing I received...."LMAO its okay. I don't really do Valentine's day either. I was just kidding. And I don't hate you I was telling my coworkers, love stinks. When am I gonna see you?"
And then on Valentine's Day I got this:
"Happy Valentine's Day my love. Hope your day is filled with lots and lots of love. From me to you. Hugs and Kisses....(cute pet name that I will spare you that Hickey has given to himself)."
I'm thinking that all of those things equate to at least a stage 5 clinger right? But I digress, I decided that I would make some time for an evening type date....maybe a drink and an appetizer kind of a thing. And away we went to a very popular place near the Fenway called Landsdowne Pub its a great place with some decent food. Well on a Thursday at 5:30 with the threat of snow...the place was dead...I mean DEAD. Like there were three times as many people working there as there was customers in the whole place. That made the whole beginning of the date a little awkward.
Then as the date progressed...Hickey didn't want a drink and didn't want to eat anything. Meanwhile I had ordered a beer before Hickey even showed up and had been eyeing a plate of fries and gravy since I walked in. So now I felt fat and like alcoholic but that wasn't even the worst part. The worst part was that Hickey didn't talk. It was like the awkward first date all over again. He kept staring at me with these blank expressions, giggling, and then looking down. Finally I couldn't take it anymore and I simply asked him what the deal was. He dismissed my question and claimed that there was nothing and then finally came clean and asked me about KFlip...
The guy was still stuck on the fact that I wasn't exclusively dating him after only two dates. I mean come on right? Maybe its me, but that seems absolutely INSANE. When I informed Hickey that I hadn't heard from KFlip in almost two weeks (WOMP WOMP...ANOTHER ONE BITES THE DUST) He got this big smile on his face and then began talking like a bubbly school girl.
When we left the restaurant I had every intention of sending Hickey on his way with maybe a goodnight kiss but that was about it. My plan was to redirect the stage 5 clinger slowly with a normal date with no physical intimacy. Well that was going well until we ended up going back to my school to unlock a piano for one of my friends...(For the record that is not an innuendo for anything the pianos at my school actually require a key that only certain people have its pretty ridiculous actually)
While waiting for someone to show up we started kissing. Not even two minutes into the kissing the dirty talk started. All of a sudden the quiet guy from the pub became the dirtiest talking motherfucker I have come across in a long time, but I was still sticking to my guns about the physical intimacy thing....and then he said something that just made my toes curl..."I want to bite your dick and suck on your asshole like a vacuum." Now to be honest I really have no true interest in either one of those things ever occurring to me, but in the heat of the moment that kind of dirty talk totally got me going. And before I knew what I was doing we were in my dorm room going at it.
I was still planning on holding my ground, but something during the hooking up came over me and before I knew it we were having sex. Condoms were used of course because while I am all about breaking my dry spell I was not about breaking my record for 100% condom use 100% of the time. (I'm such a good little doobie) And the sex was GREAT!
Honestly, I'm saying that, but I'm not even positive. I haven't had sex in so long I could have had absolutely terrible sex and I still probably though it was pretty good. But if I am truly recalling correctly this was some pretty great sex. Hickey has a nice sized dick, a dirty mouth, a rough approach, and was willing to both top and bottom, which totally made my fucking day. I really do love someone who is as versatile as I am....I'm not really sure he is....actually I am pretty sure he is more of a top, but whatever he let me fuck him so I am going to pretend he is a true vers like me.
After the sex and post-coital cordialities had been expressed I broke Hickey's total euphoric state and warned him..."No crazy...I fucked you but that means you can't become crazy." I mean that was probably pretty mean, but I didn't want to risk the stage 5 clinger become a full-fledged stage 12...I always think frankness is the best policy.
I'm proud to say it worked too! I texted Hickey to make sure he got home and then he didn't text me again until I talked to him 3 days after our date. Who knows maybe Hickey will turn out to be more than a friend after all?
Until Later!
Chau!!
Monday, December 17, 2012
Well....I got my Mojo Back....
Maybe I shouldn't have complained about my missing Mojo....
I got it back and had a few flirty encounters this weekend one that even ended in a real date.
I mean it was a real date until I screwed it up and made it all weird again....and seriously I am straight back to my old ways....well not straight back, but you get what I mean. So the guy I went on a date with last night. He is a self-proclaimed alcoholic, but not like HaHa-funny-I'm-A-24-year-old-Alcoholic more like the I Attend Meetings Almost Every Night of the Week-Have been to a Halfway House-Could Have been on the Dr. Drew show-Alcoholic. So that is just perfect.
Let me cut to the chase this guy....we will call him FTA....short for Fast Talking Alchie...I know that seems mean which is why I am going to stick with the abbreviation. So FTA is not really my type at all...First off he is super white and tans regularly...yep he is a tanning bed baby...oy vey. On top of this and the recovering alcoholic thing I have never met a more anxious person in my entire life. Seriously he talked a mile a minute and I could barely get a word in edge wise but it was clear it was because he was nervous. I decided it was probably best if I invited him back to my apartment after our short coffee date because I felt like maybe in a more homey type of setting he would be more comfortable.
He had an AA meeting to go to at 8 naturally so he asked if maybe he could come by afterward. I said we should see when he got out first. Cut to me in my living room alone eating Whole Foods soup and watching the WORST VH1 Divas concert EVER and saying why don't you jsut come by you can spend the night if you want. That's right....I blame the 2012 VH1 Divas Live Concert on my PLC to bring a recovering alcoholic home with me overnight after a first date....
We started kissing and FTA just couldn't hang. He was so fidgety and nervous. Then he admitted he has only ever done anything with three guys. Could you imagine??? So sad. But I digress, an hour or so later I had FTA calm enough to just enjoy my company. So we swapped some blowjobs and the next disappointing factor of FTA came to fruition.....his dick was small and had a skin tag, which I may or may not have mistaken for HPV and questioned him on which I think only made him more nervous....OOOOPS!
A shower finished off our little tryst and then we split a bag of potato chips while watching some old rerun of Roseanne, he popped some pills and we went to bed. FTA wanted me to go shopping with him today....yes he is one of those gays, but I politely lied my way out of it by pretending my phone call from a computer service was work calling me to draw blood on a patient in Dorchester....Isn't it great to have a job that you can get called in for??
Now I have the dilemma of course of how to break it to this guy that I don't think its going to work. I mean for Christ's sake he left a message that said "Your hot" in marker on my mirror.....how do you tell someone that is only cute in movies? Well I am sure I will figure it out....I'm thinking a second date with something definitive planned after that I HAVE to be at so I can make my exit...or maybe just say I went home for Xmas and forget to text him when I get back from holiday??? Who knows, I'll have to think of something so I'm not responsible for this kid falling off the wagon.
I guess that's all I have for now....but good news for all of you my MOJO is back....bad news for my dating life, but probably funny reading to be had by all in the near future.
Chau!!!!
I got it back and had a few flirty encounters this weekend one that even ended in a real date.
I mean it was a real date until I screwed it up and made it all weird again....and seriously I am straight back to my old ways....well not straight back, but you get what I mean. So the guy I went on a date with last night. He is a self-proclaimed alcoholic, but not like HaHa-funny-I'm-A-24-year-old-Alcoholic more like the I Attend Meetings Almost Every Night of the Week-Have been to a Halfway House-Could Have been on the Dr. Drew show-Alcoholic. So that is just perfect.
Let me cut to the chase this guy....we will call him FTA....short for Fast Talking Alchie...I know that seems mean which is why I am going to stick with the abbreviation. So FTA is not really my type at all...First off he is super white and tans regularly...yep he is a tanning bed baby...oy vey. On top of this and the recovering alcoholic thing I have never met a more anxious person in my entire life. Seriously he talked a mile a minute and I could barely get a word in edge wise but it was clear it was because he was nervous. I decided it was probably best if I invited him back to my apartment after our short coffee date because I felt like maybe in a more homey type of setting he would be more comfortable.
He had an AA meeting to go to at 8 naturally so he asked if maybe he could come by afterward. I said we should see when he got out first. Cut to me in my living room alone eating Whole Foods soup and watching the WORST VH1 Divas concert EVER and saying why don't you jsut come by you can spend the night if you want. That's right....I blame the 2012 VH1 Divas Live Concert on my PLC to bring a recovering alcoholic home with me overnight after a first date....
We started kissing and FTA just couldn't hang. He was so fidgety and nervous. Then he admitted he has only ever done anything with three guys. Could you imagine??? So sad. But I digress, an hour or so later I had FTA calm enough to just enjoy my company. So we swapped some blowjobs and the next disappointing factor of FTA came to fruition.....his dick was small and had a skin tag, which I may or may not have mistaken for HPV and questioned him on which I think only made him more nervous....OOOOPS!
A shower finished off our little tryst and then we split a bag of potato chips while watching some old rerun of Roseanne, he popped some pills and we went to bed. FTA wanted me to go shopping with him today....yes he is one of those gays, but I politely lied my way out of it by pretending my phone call from a computer service was work calling me to draw blood on a patient in Dorchester....Isn't it great to have a job that you can get called in for??
Now I have the dilemma of course of how to break it to this guy that I don't think its going to work. I mean for Christ's sake he left a message that said "Your hot" in marker on my mirror.....how do you tell someone that is only cute in movies? Well I am sure I will figure it out....I'm thinking a second date with something definitive planned after that I HAVE to be at so I can make my exit...or maybe just say I went home for Xmas and forget to text him when I get back from holiday??? Who knows, I'll have to think of something so I'm not responsible for this kid falling off the wagon.
I guess that's all I have for now....but good news for all of you my MOJO is back....bad news for my dating life, but probably funny reading to be had by all in the near future.
Chau!!!!
Saturday, December 15, 2012
Back to Basics
I'm pretty sure I lost my Mojo.
Wait let me back track. So Romeo is officially dead as far as I'm concerned. I haven't heard from him since I decided I was going to stop texting/messaging him. Nothing...not a hi, not a how are you, not a I'd love a bj....nothing, which I can only assume means he is absolutely not interested in anything I have to offer or anything at all.
And after I realized all of that I ended up going out a few times and realized that any game I thought I had before had been stripped of me in the few months I hadn't used it. I was now just like the stupid gaybies without an idea in the world of how to flirt with someone at the bar. What happened to me??
The first time it happened I went out with one fo my good friends. We went to two different places. The first was this really busy commercial bar and directly across from us was a cute gay guy with his girl friend as well. despite my best efforts to attempt to get some flirting to happen. NOTHING. I couldn't even manage to figure out how to do the eye contact thing. Then a flaming black guy, I mean Liberace but left in the oven to long kind of flaming, came and sat right next to me. I assumed this was a sure sign that eventually he would do the creepy older guy hit on my kind of thing that I was so used to, "Maybe I would get a free drink," I thought. But NOTHING, again. It was so disappointing that my friend and I decided we would head over to another bar and see how we did there.
On the way we started singing obnoxiously on the street, Whitney Houston's I Wanna Dance With Somebody, of course. Two things you should know: Both my friend and I have been singing for basically our whole lives and we aren't completely terrible and we both LOVE karaoke. So in the moment our plans changed and we headed to this karaoke bar in Boston called Limelight. Usually places like this with a stage and a fairly gay crowd were my bread and butter in terms of getting hit on/ getting a phone number or date. But NOTHING. Several songs and several beers later and I ended up walking home with my friend as she feverishly texted her military man and practically ran dragging me through the city so she could get home and skype him.
That night sitting alone in my apartment and eating a bag of chips I realized I lost my MOJO. I don't know when or how it happened but it did. I had been out the entire night and hadn't managed to talk to a single cute guy, but worse than that not even a single creepy guy hit on me.
Then again last night I went out to a place in Boston that use to be perfect, Howl at the Moon. Just the right mix of fun straight drunk girls, some of the appropriate gay friends, and all of the straight guys that refuse to dance. It makes it very obvious who is playing for my team and through dancing with the drunk girls you usually get to introduce yourself to their group of friends and thus their corresponding gays. For whatever reason last night I simply couldn't make it happen. There were at least three or four cute gay guys who were definitely eyeing me, I think at least, but I couldn't bring myself to talk to them and apparently wasn't appealing enough for them to talk to me. What was even more frustrating was a my type was there with a group of 5 white girls, and I just couldn't make a move. Then he went to the bathroom and I thought maybe I can use there hags to introduce myself so I asked if there friend was gay assuming the answer would be yes and I could say, "I knew it, my friends and I were having a contest and I just won", but of course the answer came back as "No he's straight". I thought to myself of how typical this was. I again had locked my focus on the one closeted asshole in the bar. I mean what the fuck is wrong with me that I can never just like a gay guy. Back to the point, I have totally lost my Mojo and I don't quite know how I'm going to get it back.
I guess that is going to be my goal for the next few weeks, find my MOJO. I mean it only took me what 20 years the first time right so it shouldn't take me that long the second go around right. I mean by that math maybe I will have found someone by 35!
Well I guess that's all I have for now....a depressing story about my lost mojo.....I hope you at least get a kick out of it.
Chau!!
Sunday, August 19, 2012
Finally a GLC!!!
Somehow Mereb made another brief guest appearance in my life....
That's right the guy who at one time said was on his way to being my Radames and then decided he found someone else and wanted to fix me, texted me out of the blue. I agreed to get coffee because I really thought that it was harmless. I don't like to dwell on things. I always assume people are better than they really are. So we had a date for Wednesday and the Prick stood me up. He, of course, had an excuse after the fact....and I forgave him and agreed to maybe meeting up this weekend. He kept texting me two seconds after I made plans with other people so eventually he ended up booty calling me at around 1:30 on Saturday. That's right I hadn't seen him in 4 months and he stood me up and he booty called me....the beauty of it this time....I DID NOT GO!!! I was so proud of myself. I did agree to get up and get coffee with him Sunday morning however.
When I woke up and we finally made plans to go grab coffee he let me know about 15 minutes later he was going to have to cancel and was then indignant when I was blasé about him blowing me off again. Ultimately the texting encounter ended with me going over how he pretty much acted like a prick and him making excuses for every fucked up thing he did. Then he said, "Let me just do you the favor" meaning we didn't have to get together.
Let me just do you the favor.......ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS????? If you wanted to just do me the fucking favor you could have not called me when you broke up with whatever perfect boy toy you thought you had, you could have shown up to our first date, you could have been courteous and not stood me up you fucking asshole. How dare you try to make me feel bad for you prickish actions....
And I thought this guy was Mereb....how wrong I was...he wasn't even in the cast of that show...but once labeled I can't take it back, so I guess Mereb will just be a prick forever more....
On the bright side....
I finally stood up for myself. I didn't go running to someone's side just because they complimented me by calling me....it feels good, and I feel a little stupid if I am being honest. Now I am alone....again....I am holding out hope for Rhett though and that is all I can hope for at this point.
That's right the guy who at one time said was on his way to being my Radames and then decided he found someone else and wanted to fix me, texted me out of the blue. I agreed to get coffee because I really thought that it was harmless. I don't like to dwell on things. I always assume people are better than they really are. So we had a date for Wednesday and the Prick stood me up. He, of course, had an excuse after the fact....and I forgave him and agreed to maybe meeting up this weekend. He kept texting me two seconds after I made plans with other people so eventually he ended up booty calling me at around 1:30 on Saturday. That's right I hadn't seen him in 4 months and he stood me up and he booty called me....the beauty of it this time....I DID NOT GO!!! I was so proud of myself. I did agree to get up and get coffee with him Sunday morning however.
When I woke up and we finally made plans to go grab coffee he let me know about 15 minutes later he was going to have to cancel and was then indignant when I was blasé about him blowing me off again. Ultimately the texting encounter ended with me going over how he pretty much acted like a prick and him making excuses for every fucked up thing he did. Then he said, "Let me just do you the favor" meaning we didn't have to get together.
Let me just do you the favor.......ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS????? If you wanted to just do me the fucking favor you could have not called me when you broke up with whatever perfect boy toy you thought you had, you could have shown up to our first date, you could have been courteous and not stood me up you fucking asshole. How dare you try to make me feel bad for you prickish actions....
And I thought this guy was Mereb....how wrong I was...he wasn't even in the cast of that show...but once labeled I can't take it back, so I guess Mereb will just be a prick forever more....
On the bright side....
I finally stood up for myself. I didn't go running to someone's side just because they complimented me by calling me....it feels good, and I feel a little stupid if I am being honest. Now I am alone....again....I am holding out hope for Rhett though and that is all I can hope for at this point.
Starting Over
Here's the scoop....my mother found my blog....that's right folks...my mother read all about all of my sex and dating life....which is why I deleted and re-made this blog anonymously. I encourage all of you to continue to follow....and laugh at my expense...
Now where was I...
Its been a while and so very much has happened. Let's begin with one of the most awkward dates in my history....which is saying something.
This guy....we'll call him Smoosher, was just fjapi ojsdng; aovgnmas;otng...yes....key smashing that is how I am choosing to describe him. He was one of those dates that when he showed up I hoped and said a silent prayer that he wouldn't see me or wouldn't notice me and silently walk away. No such luck....OF COURSE!!!
Let me begin by describing him for all of you. First he had on pants that were far too large and were comfortably around his waist and yet they still managed to hide below his knee. He had on a giant baggy t-shirt, van sneakers with a hole in one of the toes, and high socks. Not, I'm-an-athlete-who-works-out-gym-socks more I'm-a-nerd-who-plays-way-too-many-video-games-high-socks. Then he had a sort of Jew fro....which was not awful, but coupled with his facial hair that resembled pubic hair it was just not a good scene. But the Icing on the Cake he was wearing a bent fork around his wrist as a MOTHERFUCKING BRACELET!!!! Seriously where the FUCK do I find these people??
Other problems with this guy....he is 25, a virgin, wants to fuck Spiderman, and when dry humping you makes a funny face closes his eyes and humps like he is trying to masturbate using a couch.....Yes that run-on sentence pretty much sums him up. And for my own dignity and sake we will call him a PLC and move on....
I also recently went on a date with a great guy. An ICU nurse from a local hospital. A Southern transplant from TN with an accent. He is nice, older, cute, and has his shit together, which I fucking LOVE. The only problem with him....long hair. I'm not talking 80's rock band long, think Justin Bieber or the website Lesbians Who Look Like Justin Bieber. But is all seems to be working out well. We are actually scheduled for another date next week so I am hopeful. I am thinking that I might call him Rhett....I don't know why but there is something about his height and his accent that just reminds me of the movie Gone with the Wind....so that will be his nickname...boring I know but he seems like he might be a good one....fingers crossed!
Well until next time....Chau
Now where was I...
Its been a while and so very much has happened. Let's begin with one of the most awkward dates in my history....which is saying something.
This guy....we'll call him Smoosher, was just fjapi ojsdng; aovgnmas;otng...yes....key smashing that is how I am choosing to describe him. He was one of those dates that when he showed up I hoped and said a silent prayer that he wouldn't see me or wouldn't notice me and silently walk away. No such luck....OF COURSE!!!
Let me begin by describing him for all of you. First he had on pants that were far too large and were comfortably around his waist and yet they still managed to hide below his knee. He had on a giant baggy t-shirt, van sneakers with a hole in one of the toes, and high socks. Not, I'm-an-athlete-who-works-out-gym-socks more I'm-a-nerd-who-plays-way-too-many-video-games-high-socks. Then he had a sort of Jew fro....which was not awful, but coupled with his facial hair that resembled pubic hair it was just not a good scene. But the Icing on the Cake he was wearing a bent fork around his wrist as a MOTHERFUCKING BRACELET!!!! Seriously where the FUCK do I find these people??
Other problems with this guy....he is 25, a virgin, wants to fuck Spiderman, and when dry humping you makes a funny face closes his eyes and humps like he is trying to masturbate using a couch.....Yes that run-on sentence pretty much sums him up. And for my own dignity and sake we will call him a PLC and move on....
I also recently went on a date with a great guy. An ICU nurse from a local hospital. A Southern transplant from TN with an accent. He is nice, older, cute, and has his shit together, which I fucking LOVE. The only problem with him....long hair. I'm not talking 80's rock band long, think Justin Bieber or the website Lesbians Who Look Like Justin Bieber. But is all seems to be working out well. We are actually scheduled for another date next week so I am hopeful. I am thinking that I might call him Rhett....I don't know why but there is something about his height and his accent that just reminds me of the movie Gone with the Wind....so that will be his nickname...boring I know but he seems like he might be a good one....fingers crossed!
Well until next time....Chau
Typical....Just Typical...
So I went on a date last week with a really nice white guy. He was
cute, professional, smart, and funny, actually one of his few flaws was his lack of chin....hence his nickname....Chinless. Everything I should be looking for so I
figured I would try for another date this week. He was really into it and then
when trying to make plans for whatever reason everything fell through. We were
supposed to go out Thursday night to Club Cafe (one of the gay bars here in
Boston) just for drinks and for a cute and easy second date. Unfortunately he
ended up needing to go to Long Island for the week. GREAT! Now that makes two
people in the last two weeks that have literally moved to a different state
just to avoid going on a second date with me.
Maybe this is just coincidence I tell myself. Maybe I just
happened to get two completely different guys, both great in their own ways,
and maybe the both just needed to move out of state within the same week that just
maybe happened to coincide with directly after our first date. My life is
actually beginning to make me feel a wee bit more insecure than I already did,
which is very hard.
I think that the remainder of my self-confidence is actually just
being flushed down the toilet. Why is it that I can't seem to even get a second
date out of anyone? I didn't put out this time because I thought I would try to
have a decent and/or respectable relationship before I just blew or fucked them
but it seems that my sexual aptitude is the only thing that has ever really
assured me a second date. Right now I am just trying to figure out what it is
about me that is so anti-relationship that I can't even get a second date when
I don't have sex with someone on the first date. How/Why/When did this become
my fucking problem?
On the bright side....
I went out with a Venezuelan deaf lawyer friend of mine on
Thursday night. We had only ever met once in person but we have stayed
connected through the internet and Facebook. When he arrived back in Boston for
his international law degree we decided we would meet up. He has told me in the
past he isn't interested in my sexually and only wants to be friends and yet
last night felt an awful lot like a date to me. We went to the bar, I paid, we
gawked at other people in the bar, we laughed, we drank a lot, and then when we
both went to take out separate trains something weird happened.
I went in to give him a hug. And then I thought we were going to
do the South American kiss on the cheek thing but all of a sudden his lips were
on mine. Initially I thought it was just a little peck, but then I felt tongue
just sliding into my mouth. And there we were french kissing goodbye like a
couple of horny 8th graders. And me, like the jackass that I am, went to get on
the train but french kissed him one more time good bye before I finally stepped
on the platform.
And to top it all off I got a text message smiley while I was at
work today. More than that I got a message on facebook saying how much fun he
had last night. I am SO FUCKING CONFUSED!!! Seriously I don't know what's going
on with him and with me. I do have a little bit of a crush on him and he is a
lot of fun to kiss, but I don't think he has any feelings for me. I think when
he gets drunk he just makes out with the closest person to him. Its a little
sad to be honest. I guess its not really that bright a side, but whatever. At
least I had a fun make out session on the MBTA platform for a change. It wasn't
a bad way to end a pretty drunk night.
A Great Date
Sunday I went on my first date in a little over two months. The
guy who I will refer to as Blisp (black and lisp) was great! Blisp was
interesting, mature, funny, attractive, I mean his worst quality was his gay
lisp. The date started with iced coffee and a stroll around Davis Square where we sat and talked on a park bench.
Then after about an hour or two of getting to know each other we went for a
late lunch or early dinner at a cute sushi place. Everything was actually
pretty good by my standards for a first date (granted that's not saying
much). Then at the end of the
date I remembered he told me he was moving. That's right, the first decent date
I have been on in probably 4 months and the guy is moving to California in three days. SO FREAKING TYPICAL!!! But what's a boy to do?
I have another first date tomorrow night, we'll see how this one
goes, but to be honest I'm not holding out much hope.
The Summer Thus Far....
I haven't really updated this blog in a while
for a few reasons.
1. I haven't really had the time
2. I didn't really know what I should
write about
3. There hasn't been any major change
since my last post
I guess this is the update though...
WASJC= This is completely over. Since our third
lunch date we haven't spoken or texted...it was a mutual thing I think.
Mereb= Over and a sour taste in my mouth. We went
on a few dates and the last one he asked me if I had been dating other people.
I was honest, and so was he....apparently he found the love of his life.
However he told me that he wanted to fix me....because in his words I was
afraid of being serious.....ding ding ding..what do we have for him Johnny....DUH?!?!
Artsy= Well we had sex and it wasn't bad....I
wasn't really prepared to have sex so it wasn't the best either, but he was
really into it. He went back home for the summer to be a lifeguard and we have
actually spoken a few times since....he could turn out to be a great fuck buddy
next year so I am going to keep that going.
Tiny= That crush is over. He is madly in love with
his former fuck buddy whether he chooses to admit that or not. He also drinks a
lot and after some thinking is really just too nice and too bitchy all at the
same time for me, if that even makes sense.
There have really only been three new people
since my last post...nothing crazy. No seriously,
nothing crazy I only had sex with one of them.
The first one was actually only a crush. He
was a friend of Tiny's we will call him SkaterBoy....no not like
skateboarder, like figure skater. My crush on him was actually pretty bad. He
is gorgeous with an amazing body and a good personality. He kept popping up in
my life too, which I of course took to be a sign from God, but it was probably
all in my head. Ultimately this crush crashed and burned when I saw him at the
beach. The way a person acts and interacts at the beach is a BIG deal to me. If
you have a shitty beach personality then we will never work, even as friends.
He wasn't into playing frisbee or just enjoying company on the beach, he whined
about getting splashed, and then worst of all he wore his shoes to walk on the
sand....That was the Pièce de résistance...Crush OVER!
The second one I never met in real life. I
went on two different skype dates with him and he seemed perfect. We'll call
him LaxGuy who had a good job and was intelligent. Only problem was
he lived in Burlington. I am pretty sure he found someone closer to home
because I haven't heard from him since our last date, but he didn't defriend me
from facebook or block me from Gchat or Skype so who knows maybe in the future
something could work out. I'm not really holding out hope though.
Then there was the third guy, we'll go with PillHead. Basically a frat boy waiting to get
into the military. He was more of a Poor Life Choice
(PLC) of convenience more than anything else.
He was there and sexually aggressive and I was horny as fuck....So we did just
that. It didn't go anywhere beyond the one time fucking though because I found
out how bad he was in bed and that he had a little addiction to percocet....not
to mention a kid with two black lesbians...
I think that pretty much sums up the last
three months.
I have date tomorrow with someone I met
online. He seems nice, cute, well traveled, and lets face it he is interested
in me which is half the freaking battle right?
Until next time...Chau!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)