Hickey Part Deux

After our second rendezvous Hickey sort of turned into a stage 5 clinger, and by sort of I mean 'beyond a shadow of a doubt'. This guy texted me every day after our second date. At first it was nice and cute...and then the text messages kept coming, and each subsequent text message kept getting longer, and more sappy, until before you knew it I was getting things like this:

"Its okay. I know your a busy man. I'm very patient. :) I'm just glad to know that your okay. I miss you a lot."

and this:

"I don't have any plans either but I was gonna ask you to be my Valentine." and when I responded I don't really do the Valentine's day thing I received...."LMAO its okay. I don't really do Valentine's day either. I was just kidding. And I don't hate you I was telling my coworkers, love stinks. When am I gonna see you?"

And then on Valentine's Day I got this:

"Happy Valentine's Day my love. Hope your day is filled with lots and lots of love. From me to you. Hugs and Kisses....(cute pet name that I will spare you that Hickey has given to himself)."

I'm thinking that all of those things equate to at least a stage 5 clinger right? But I digress, I decided that I would make some time for an evening type date....maybe a drink and an appetizer kind of a thing. And away we went to a very popular place near the Fenway called Landsdowne Pub its a great place with some decent food. Well on a Thursday at 5:30 with the threat of snow...the place was dead...I mean DEAD. Like there were three times as many people working there as there was customers in the whole place. That made the whole beginning of the date a little awkward.

Then as the date progressed...Hickey didn't want a drink and didn't want to eat anything. Meanwhile I had ordered a beer before Hickey even showed up and had been eyeing a plate of fries and gravy since I walked in. So now I felt fat and like alcoholic but that wasn't even the worst part. The worst part was that Hickey didn't talk. It was like the awkward first date all over again. He kept staring at me with these blank expressions, giggling, and then looking down. Finally I couldn't take it anymore and I simply asked him what the deal was. He dismissed my question and claimed that there was nothing and then finally came clean and asked me about KFlip...

The guy was still stuck on the fact that I wasn't exclusively dating him after only two dates. I mean come on right? Maybe its me, but that seems absolutely INSANE. When I informed Hickey that I hadn't heard from KFlip in almost two weeks (WOMP WOMP...ANOTHER ONE BITES THE DUST) He got this big smile on his face and then began talking like a bubbly school girl. 

When we left the restaurant I had every intention of sending Hickey on his way with maybe a goodnight kiss but that was about it. My plan was to redirect the stage 5 clinger slowly with a normal date with no physical intimacy. Well that was going well until we ended up going back to my school to unlock a piano for one of my friends...(For the record that is not an innuendo for anything the pianos at my school actually require a key that only certain people have its pretty ridiculous actually) 

While waiting for someone to show up we started kissing. Not even two minutes into the kissing the dirty talk started. All of a sudden the quiet guy from the pub became the dirtiest talking motherfucker I have come across in a long time, but I was still sticking to my guns about the physical intimacy thing....and then he said something that just made my toes curl..."I want to bite your dick and suck on your asshole like a vacuum." Now to be honest I really have no true interest in either one of those things ever occurring to me, but in the heat of the moment that kind of dirty talk totally got me going. And before I knew what I was doing we were in my dorm room going at it.

I was still planning on holding my ground, but something during the hooking up came over me and before I knew it we were having sex. Condoms were used of course because while I am all about breaking my dry spell I was not about breaking my record for 100% condom use 100% of the time. (I'm such a good little doobie) And the sex was GREAT!

 Honestly, I'm saying that, but I'm not even positive. I haven't had sex in so long I could have had absolutely terrible sex and I still probably though it was pretty good. But if I am truly recalling correctly this was some pretty great sex. Hickey has a nice sized dick, a dirty mouth, a rough approach, and was willing to both top and bottom, which totally made my fucking day. I really do love someone who is as versatile as I am....I'm not really sure he is....actually I am pretty sure he is more of a top, but whatever he let me fuck him so I am going to pretend he is a true vers like me. 

After the sex and post-coital cordialities had been expressed I broke Hickey's total euphoric state and warned him..."No crazy...I fucked you but that means you can't become crazy." I mean that was probably pretty mean, but I didn't want to risk the stage 5 clinger become a full-fledged stage 12...I always think frankness is the best policy. 

I'm proud to say it worked too! I texted Hickey to make sure he got home and then he didn't text me again until I talked to him 3 days after our date. Who knows maybe Hickey will turn out to be more than a friend after all?

Until Later!

Chau!!

A Taste of Southern Charm...

I had such HOPE for Rhett....I mean he survived the Civil War you would think that he might be able to entice me.

We went on a second date. Dinner and drinks at a new restaurant and a bar he knew in the South End. It was a good date. Not exceptional, but nothing terrible either. I mean we talked about both his ex-boyfriend and his ex-girlfriend/fiancee, but other than that it was great. Dinner was good and the conversation flowed well. He paid, which of course I appreciated.

At the end of the night though we went by another bar in the South End so he could talk to his female friend who was a bartender and I gave him a goodbye kiss. I initiated...not usually my style, but I felt like this guy was waiting for me to make a move. Even though he is 30 he is still pretty uncomfortable with the gay thing, I think. I mean he has only really been out to his family since he was 27....so like 3 years maybe? So I initiated the good-night kiss. It wasn't bad. It was cute, not foot-pop worthy, but cute first kiss. That night I got texted that he wished he could have kissed me more....which I think is code for I'm drunk and horny, but its still nice to feel like someone wants to kiss you right?

Then Rhett took a trip to NYC and wanted a date when he got back. I obliged and we had a day date this afternoon. We were supposed to watch Will and Grace...I realize that is a really lame cover, but what are you going to do. Before we even got the DVD in the machine we were making out. Then we eventually ended up fooling around. It all seemed a little weird to be honest. I knew we weren't going to have sex but the fooling around was just awkward. This probably has to do with the fact that I took him to be a bottom because of his Justin Beiber hair and I found out, after a little bit of an awkward interaction that he was not a bottom, but indeed only a top.....OOoooOOps....MY BAD!

Eventually we both finished up and then after getting cleaned up there was this period of 10-20 minutes where I felt like a whore. He all of a sudden started walking/pacing around his apartment doing really trivial little things. And then he started writing out a check and I almost had to catch my breath when I asked what it was for worried that somehow he thought I was an actual prostitute. Turns out he was just writing out his rent check but how fucked up am I that my first thought when he grabbed his checkbook was he was paying me for what we had just done?

I digress.....after 20 minutes of weirdness he offered me a drink and we sat and watched two episodes of Will and Grace...and then I went home. I stopped and grabbed pizza and an iced coffee on the way home though. For whatever reason I didn't feel good about this date. I think maybe doing the physical stuff finally just opened my eyes to the gut instinct that I was having on our dates that there was something just a little off.

I think I will probably end up going on one or two more dates with Rhett, but I really don't know. I just feel like there was something about this date that just wasn't quite right and I wouldn't be surprised if I never heard from Rhett again. To be completely honest, I'm not really sure I care if I ever hear from him again....does that make me an awful person?

Well I guess until next time.....

CHAU!

The Morning After

How many times have I been here before?? I probably couldn't count. I'm not talking about the morning after going out and hooking up with some random stranger. Those mornings I tend to just pretend didn't happen. I am talking about the morning after staying in all night alone. I wake up rested and a little sad.

I'm never quite sure why I am sad. Its not because I stayed in, I don't really care about going out and having a good time. Its not because I slept funny and now I have some weird ache or pain that is causing me physical discomfort. It is not because I did not get laid the night before, but it is something close to that.

It has something to do with waking up alone. It has to do with waking up and having to text someone about getting breakfast rather than just rolling over and asking them about it. It has something to do with having that post-pizza-binge-fullness in the morning all alone that somehow leaves you feeling empty. I guess as much as I am very afraid of waking up every morning next to the same person it would be nice to wake up to someone.

I struggle with this a lot. I LOVE the idea of a relationship. I like that I could wake up next to the same person every week who would think that coffee and brunch followed by a nice walk on a Sunday afternoon is a great idea after having spent a Saturday night in, but I haven't been able to trick myself into the actuality of it yet. If I wake up one day next to someone and that scenario occurs it almost guarantees that it will never happen again. What is wrong with me? Why would I rather wake up a little sad then with the same person two weeks in a row?

God that makes me sound like a huge slut. I'm not.....I swear....its just waking up next to the same person and having that same Sunday routine scares me. I don't want to become complacent. I want to always strive for more. For some reason a consistent person to wake up to means complacency to me....Seriously I have a problem.

Maybe I should get a pet? Although that would leave me with a whole host of other issues....like who would watch it when I went out? What would I do if I spent the night at someone else's place? How would I sneak it into my dorm room? And isn't that just pathetic?

I guess that about does it for today......let's see what happens this weekend.