Showing posts with label PLC. Show all posts
Showing posts with label PLC. Show all posts
Thursday, August 14, 2014
Sunday, December 8, 2013
A Ginger, A Black-A-Rican, and a Freak!
So I have a few updates. No one new, just some old recycled folks.
I guess I should start with the oldest in the repertoire. This weekend I invited Hickey to come by so we could fool around again. Our Friends with Benefits thing has worked out far better than the two of us dating ever could have. We both have a mutual respect for each other and we both have pretty high standards for who we actually sleep with which is really comforting in a way. For instance, despite the fact that we have both gone out on dates with several people the only people we have had anal sex with in the last four months have been each other.
The other nice thing about the sex with Hickey is that we have both come to the understanding that sex is it. We aren't looking for it to be anything else. We are both really comfortable asking the other to do things sexually to get each other off. The freakier the sex gets, the better it is, and the more we both just really have a good time when we get together. All of the awkwardness from our first Friends with Benefits encounter is officially gone. We both understand what is happening and we have finally settled into a wonderful rhythm of fucking, sucking, and kinking. (I'm not sure if that is a word, but it is now!)
Every once in a while I get this feeling that Hickey is waiting for me to ask him to be my boyfriend, but he always assures me that is not the case. I'm hoping that is true because I could very easily be setting myself up for a repeat of the Panera incident....let's hope that does not happen...again!
The next person that I have updates on is BRP. As I have said before BRP is perfect for me on paper, but there is definitely something off about the whole thing. For this reason while I was away BRP texted me to say hi, but I did not respond. When I finally got back I let him know I was home and that I still had his hat from his night time visit, but I did not hear from him. It wasn't until the Saturday after Thanksgiving that I heard back from him. It was a very short message simply asking when he could retrieve his hat. It was late and I figured it must have been a drunken response to my text so I let him know I was still interested in seeing him.
I got a second equally as curt response. Not being one for passive aggressive games, I flat out asked if he was upset because his messages were so curt and almost bitter. He then went into a long explanation about that not being the case and we set up a time to see each other the next week. I almost had to cancel on him because of a patient emergency, but fortunately I was able to move things around and still make a late night coffee date work.
We met at 1369 Cafe in Inman Square. It was packed so we ended up just getting coffee and walking around Cambridge a little bit. Ultimately, we ended up stopping at a pizza place so he could get food since he still had not eaten and we both wanted a place to sit and talk.
The conversation was very cordial at first, no mention of the curtness from the texts, but I can never leave well enough alone. I picked the scab and before I knew it I was getting the litany of reasons that he was "pissed" not bitter about my lack of response to him while I was away. We had quite a discussion about his gripes with me.
What was really interesting was hearing all of the things that BRP considered red flags about myself.
Let me begin:
1. I'm young
2. I've never been in a relationship
3. I am sexually expressive/adept
4. I ignored him for 2 weeks
5. I am ambitious/driven
He qualified all of these statements with: "I mean you have all of these things which individually are red flags but together they don't bother me." How charming right?
I have to be honest; none of his 5 things surprised me. I recognize them as part of the issues I have in committing to any relationship anyways so the fact that someone finally recognizes them as issues in a relationship with me is something that I just have to come to terms with as I continue dating.
Ultimately, I can't do anything about the fact that I am young. I also could do something about never having been in a relationship, but I won't. I refuse to be in a relationship just to be in a relationship. I don't care if that means I am single for another 20 years. I am waiting for someone I really think is worth it. I could do something about the sexual expressiveness, but I don't want to. I like sex. I enjoy sex. It's fun and I am not going to apologize because I know what I want and I'm good at what I do. I could also do something about the ambition I have related to my career, but I won't. My career and my patients are really important to me and I am not going to change that just to please someone or enter into a relationship. The thing about me ignoring him for 2 weeks...well that I'll own. I definitely could have changed that and I definitely should have.
After he finished eating I offered to drive him home since he had driven me home the last time. I realized that things definitely still weren't right in the car, but I couldn't just send him back into his apartment when we got to his place. I felt like he was looking for an excuse to blow me off or just write me off completely and that annoyed me. I know this is absolutely insane, but I hate the idea that someone would write me off based on those 5 red flags. I felt like I needed to do something to prove he was wrong, even though he wasn't.
I am officially insane! I know and I can't help it. I went in for a kiss literally mid-awkward conversation where it seemed like he didn't want to see me again. I ended up in his apartment and we started making out. He stopped me and insisted that we not hook up. He told me he promised himself he wouldn't do that with me. I was being rejected sexually and I was stunned. I don't like the feeling that someone could just choose not to do something they wanted to. The idea that someone could have that kind of self control around me perturbed me a little bit. So I tried harder. Eventually I won him over and I was blowing him. Then I decided to respect his initial desires and stopped before he came. That was pretty bitchy of me but I couldn't help it. I had to prove the point that my sexual prowess could win him over.
I AM COMPLETELY INSANE!
I then left his apartment and hopped in my car and went home. I ended up seeing him again on Saturday for a cute lunch date in Harvard Square. I was super late (this is becoming a pattern for me unfortunately). We met at Tory Row and sat at the bar.
The restaurant was amazing: a great menu, a great atmosphere, and the bartender had an amazing ass. The fact that I am commenting on the bartender's ass should be a pretty good indicator for how my date went. I can't help but feel bad for how I behaved actually. I was sort of an ass. I was trying to treat him the way I treat a lot of my old friends. I was joking around and sort of making fun of him a little bit, but I'm not sure it really came off the right way. Luckily, this guy likes himself enough, and has a high enough self-esteem, that the whole time I was ribbing him he was pointing out how wrong I was.
When it came time to pay the bill I pulled out my card to pay. He insisted on paying. I said we could split it and he agreed, until the bartender brought over the bill and he literally grabbed my card out of the bartender's hand and gave it back to me. Apparently the bartender thought this guy should pay because he sort of chuckled when I again tried to pay and told me, "Nah let's let him get this one." The whole thing just seemed odd to me. I couldn't tell if the bartender had been listening and felt bad for me or if he somehow thought that this guy should be paying for me for some reason. I decided to let it go and just went to get my jacket.
BRP drove me home and we kissed in the car and I jumped out. He definitely wanted more of kiss, but I couldn't bring myself to sit in front of my house and make out with him like I have in the past. There is still something so off about the whole thing and I can't really put my finger on it.
He texted me again today to hang out, but I was studying so I told him that I would have to pass. He volunteered to come over and help and I told him he would just be a distraction. I got one of those stupid :P faces in response.
The last update I have for everyone is about the IndyGinger. I have still been talking to him almost every day. We talk either via text, facebook messenger, or actual phone call about nothing. Simply talking to him about the paper he needs to write brings a smile to my face. Its so weird. We've talked about the sex stuff we did, but we have yet to truly sext. It's oddly enough just to chat during the week.
One of the most recent calls I got from him lasted for well over 30 minutes. It wasn't the same happy guy that called me though. I finally figured out the problem with the IndyGinger. He is totally insecure. I don't know if its something to do with his family when he was growing up, the city he lives in, or some horrible ex-boyfriend he had but the IndyGinger has no self esteem. He is super concerned that his dick isn't big enough, his body isn't jacked enough, his hair isn't the right way, and that his physical appearance isn't good enough for anyone. It kills me. If he lived here I would date him in a heart beat. I would be really happy to see him as frequently as I could.
He is so eclectic and different that I can't imagine that he could feel so uncomfortable about his body. His muscles are something I could only dream of having and his dick isn't small (its definitely not huge but its nothing to laugh at either). I also learned that the IndyGinger has a history of suicidality. Typical right? Someone who I actually like, someone who I actually feel the need to continue to speak with despite being miles away from each other, thinks that they need to hurt themselves. I don't really know what to do. I am going to keep talking to him, because I can't help myself. I am also going to send him my copy of El Alquimista.
He is really into speaking/learning Spanish. He's not great, but he seems to really like it. I think that coupled with his lack of self-esteem just make it seem like he needs to read the book. Its a great story about accepting yourself for the gift you are and realizing what you already have and its something he needs to figure out. I feel like I want to save him. Again, its crazy, I know it, but I just can't help it.
So here I sit...blogging and watching reruns of the X Factor. I don't know what I'm doing. The more I try and be open and make things work the more confused I seem to get. For now I am just going to avoid analyzing anything. I am just going to accept things as they come. I am going to continue to do things that make me happy.
Well I guess that's it for now. Per usual if anyone has any advice feel free to send me a message or put a comment below.
Until Later,
Chau!!
I guess I should start with the oldest in the repertoire. This weekend I invited Hickey to come by so we could fool around again. Our Friends with Benefits thing has worked out far better than the two of us dating ever could have. We both have a mutual respect for each other and we both have pretty high standards for who we actually sleep with which is really comforting in a way. For instance, despite the fact that we have both gone out on dates with several people the only people we have had anal sex with in the last four months have been each other.
The other nice thing about the sex with Hickey is that we have both come to the understanding that sex is it. We aren't looking for it to be anything else. We are both really comfortable asking the other to do things sexually to get each other off. The freakier the sex gets, the better it is, and the more we both just really have a good time when we get together. All of the awkwardness from our first Friends with Benefits encounter is officially gone. We both understand what is happening and we have finally settled into a wonderful rhythm of fucking, sucking, and kinking. (I'm not sure if that is a word, but it is now!)
Every once in a while I get this feeling that Hickey is waiting for me to ask him to be my boyfriend, but he always assures me that is not the case. I'm hoping that is true because I could very easily be setting myself up for a repeat of the Panera incident....let's hope that does not happen...again!
The next person that I have updates on is BRP. As I have said before BRP is perfect for me on paper, but there is definitely something off about the whole thing. For this reason while I was away BRP texted me to say hi, but I did not respond. When I finally got back I let him know I was home and that I still had his hat from his night time visit, but I did not hear from him. It wasn't until the Saturday after Thanksgiving that I heard back from him. It was a very short message simply asking when he could retrieve his hat. It was late and I figured it must have been a drunken response to my text so I let him know I was still interested in seeing him.
I got a second equally as curt response. Not being one for passive aggressive games, I flat out asked if he was upset because his messages were so curt and almost bitter. He then went into a long explanation about that not being the case and we set up a time to see each other the next week. I almost had to cancel on him because of a patient emergency, but fortunately I was able to move things around and still make a late night coffee date work.
We met at 1369 Cafe in Inman Square. It was packed so we ended up just getting coffee and walking around Cambridge a little bit. Ultimately, we ended up stopping at a pizza place so he could get food since he still had not eaten and we both wanted a place to sit and talk.
The conversation was very cordial at first, no mention of the curtness from the texts, but I can never leave well enough alone. I picked the scab and before I knew it I was getting the litany of reasons that he was "pissed" not bitter about my lack of response to him while I was away. We had quite a discussion about his gripes with me.
What was really interesting was hearing all of the things that BRP considered red flags about myself.
Let me begin:
1. I'm young
2. I've never been in a relationship
3. I am sexually expressive/adept
4. I ignored him for 2 weeks
5. I am ambitious/driven
He qualified all of these statements with: "I mean you have all of these things which individually are red flags but together they don't bother me." How charming right?
I have to be honest; none of his 5 things surprised me. I recognize them as part of the issues I have in committing to any relationship anyways so the fact that someone finally recognizes them as issues in a relationship with me is something that I just have to come to terms with as I continue dating.
Ultimately, I can't do anything about the fact that I am young. I also could do something about never having been in a relationship, but I won't. I refuse to be in a relationship just to be in a relationship. I don't care if that means I am single for another 20 years. I am waiting for someone I really think is worth it. I could do something about the sexual expressiveness, but I don't want to. I like sex. I enjoy sex. It's fun and I am not going to apologize because I know what I want and I'm good at what I do. I could also do something about the ambition I have related to my career, but I won't. My career and my patients are really important to me and I am not going to change that just to please someone or enter into a relationship. The thing about me ignoring him for 2 weeks...well that I'll own. I definitely could have changed that and I definitely should have.
After he finished eating I offered to drive him home since he had driven me home the last time. I realized that things definitely still weren't right in the car, but I couldn't just send him back into his apartment when we got to his place. I felt like he was looking for an excuse to blow me off or just write me off completely and that annoyed me. I know this is absolutely insane, but I hate the idea that someone would write me off based on those 5 red flags. I felt like I needed to do something to prove he was wrong, even though he wasn't.
I am officially insane! I know and I can't help it. I went in for a kiss literally mid-awkward conversation where it seemed like he didn't want to see me again. I ended up in his apartment and we started making out. He stopped me and insisted that we not hook up. He told me he promised himself he wouldn't do that with me. I was being rejected sexually and I was stunned. I don't like the feeling that someone could just choose not to do something they wanted to. The idea that someone could have that kind of self control around me perturbed me a little bit. So I tried harder. Eventually I won him over and I was blowing him. Then I decided to respect his initial desires and stopped before he came. That was pretty bitchy of me but I couldn't help it. I had to prove the point that my sexual prowess could win him over.
I AM COMPLETELY INSANE!
I then left his apartment and hopped in my car and went home. I ended up seeing him again on Saturday for a cute lunch date in Harvard Square. I was super late (this is becoming a pattern for me unfortunately). We met at Tory Row and sat at the bar.
The restaurant was amazing: a great menu, a great atmosphere, and the bartender had an amazing ass. The fact that I am commenting on the bartender's ass should be a pretty good indicator for how my date went. I can't help but feel bad for how I behaved actually. I was sort of an ass. I was trying to treat him the way I treat a lot of my old friends. I was joking around and sort of making fun of him a little bit, but I'm not sure it really came off the right way. Luckily, this guy likes himself enough, and has a high enough self-esteem, that the whole time I was ribbing him he was pointing out how wrong I was.
When it came time to pay the bill I pulled out my card to pay. He insisted on paying. I said we could split it and he agreed, until the bartender brought over the bill and he literally grabbed my card out of the bartender's hand and gave it back to me. Apparently the bartender thought this guy should pay because he sort of chuckled when I again tried to pay and told me, "Nah let's let him get this one." The whole thing just seemed odd to me. I couldn't tell if the bartender had been listening and felt bad for me or if he somehow thought that this guy should be paying for me for some reason. I decided to let it go and just went to get my jacket.
BRP drove me home and we kissed in the car and I jumped out. He definitely wanted more of kiss, but I couldn't bring myself to sit in front of my house and make out with him like I have in the past. There is still something so off about the whole thing and I can't really put my finger on it.
He texted me again today to hang out, but I was studying so I told him that I would have to pass. He volunteered to come over and help and I told him he would just be a distraction. I got one of those stupid :P faces in response.
The last update I have for everyone is about the IndyGinger. I have still been talking to him almost every day. We talk either via text, facebook messenger, or actual phone call about nothing. Simply talking to him about the paper he needs to write brings a smile to my face. Its so weird. We've talked about the sex stuff we did, but we have yet to truly sext. It's oddly enough just to chat during the week.
One of the most recent calls I got from him lasted for well over 30 minutes. It wasn't the same happy guy that called me though. I finally figured out the problem with the IndyGinger. He is totally insecure. I don't know if its something to do with his family when he was growing up, the city he lives in, or some horrible ex-boyfriend he had but the IndyGinger has no self esteem. He is super concerned that his dick isn't big enough, his body isn't jacked enough, his hair isn't the right way, and that his physical appearance isn't good enough for anyone. It kills me. If he lived here I would date him in a heart beat. I would be really happy to see him as frequently as I could.
He is so eclectic and different that I can't imagine that he could feel so uncomfortable about his body. His muscles are something I could only dream of having and his dick isn't small (its definitely not huge but its nothing to laugh at either). I also learned that the IndyGinger has a history of suicidality. Typical right? Someone who I actually like, someone who I actually feel the need to continue to speak with despite being miles away from each other, thinks that they need to hurt themselves. I don't really know what to do. I am going to keep talking to him, because I can't help myself. I am also going to send him my copy of El Alquimista.
He is really into speaking/learning Spanish. He's not great, but he seems to really like it. I think that coupled with his lack of self-esteem just make it seem like he needs to read the book. Its a great story about accepting yourself for the gift you are and realizing what you already have and its something he needs to figure out. I feel like I want to save him. Again, its crazy, I know it, but I just can't help it.
So here I sit...blogging and watching reruns of the X Factor. I don't know what I'm doing. The more I try and be open and make things work the more confused I seem to get. For now I am just going to avoid analyzing anything. I am just going to accept things as they come. I am going to continue to do things that make me happy.
Well I guess that's it for now. Per usual if anyone has any advice feel free to send me a message or put a comment below.
Until Later,
Chau!!
Wednesday, October 2, 2013
Two Cups of Crazy and a Side of CuckooCachoo
Geri is no more.....Is anyone surprised???
Well here is the story for all of you so you can feel better about your own lives. After our first date Geri called me and was interested in seeing me again. The first date went so well I jumped at the opportunity. He wanted to me to come by on Sunday evening after his work shift for ice cream and a movie. At first I wasn't huge on the idea because I thought it seemed like I was going to become a booty call, but I eventually gave in and agreed. Then that night I got a call from Geri and he wanted to reschedule for Monday during the day because he didn't want me to get the wrong impression. He realized that a second date of me coming to his place at 11pm might give the wrong impression. I was ecstatic! I quickly agreed to the Monday date, because for once I had Monday off, and we threw around some ideas and settled on apple picking.
Monday came and I got a call bright and early but I couldn't really understand him over the phone, but we settled on a time so I started doing some stuff for my patients and then I was going to head over. On my way to his place I called once again to let him know I was on my way and again I kept misunderstanding him over the phone. When I got to his place it did not look exactly how I remembered. It was not a really pretty old Victorian home in Dorchester, but rather an older Victorian in need of refurbishment on the brink of the hood. But who am I to judge a book by its cover?
So I called him again and he told me he was going to meet me at the front door...and he hoped I didn't mind he was in his underwear. To be honest....I was definitely intrigued and then I saw the underwear he was wearing. A pair of old tighty whities with holes in them and a black wife beater with an almost equal number of holes. I want you all to have a good picture of this in your head....they weren't sexy you can see some of my ass or dick kind of holes...they were I live in a trailer and can't afford new underwear kind of holes. Again though I thought...no its fine I am going to let this go maybe it will be fine. I even ignored the fact that he was on the phone with someone else and didn't say hi so much as he nodded approval and started walking up the stairs.
When we finally got in his apartment he led me to the kitchen where he finally got off the phone and went in for a kiss. I sort of begrudgingly gave him one and I noticed some red stuff on his lips that I couldn't quite make out. Then as he continued talking I realized that he was slurring a little bit. Almost immediately after that he began making scrambled eggs and rice and I realized that he was stumbling a little bit and that his breath when I kissed him smelled of something familiar....Geri was drunk and it was only 11a on a Monday.
I tried to figure out if he was drunk and began asking some questions that sort of beat around the bush and before long Geri simply revealed..."I'm drunk from last night. I went out with a bunch of co-workers and then came home and got high with my roommates."
I was completely taken aback. It hit me as soon as he said it that the previous night was not about being respectful with me but more likely that he got a better offer with his co-workers. But again who am I to judge we had only been on one date and I suppose it was possible he had woken up drunk.
Then he offered me a Bloody Mary which I refused because it was too early. We finished breakfast and we began kissing again and ended up in his bedroom. I was hoping that he would sober up and then we would be able to go apple picking like we planned. Then mid-hooking up he left and went to the kitchen presumably to get a glass of water and came back with a half consumed Bloody Mary. I couldn't believe it. I was really turned off.
We started hooking up again despite my own issues and then I noticed a mole on his dick and I may have said something about the potential for HPV. He became indignant and made me inspect his penis in the light to see that it was in fact a mole. Then he became aggravated that I could not shut off my nurse hat for 3 minutes and stood up from bed. I thought the situation had gotten significantly awkward so I moved to put on some clothes and suavely make my exit. And I was informed rather gruffly that I should stay and he was going to have a cigarette and would be back. I then made a move to at least put my underwear on because I thought the hooking up portion of the day was over and was again rather curtly told..."Don't do that, we're adults we can disagree and I can have a cigarette and then we can get back to that."
I wasn't really sure what to do. I mean I didn't hate making out with him or fooling around but I definitely was getting less attracted to him as the time went on. So I stayed and we continued to hook up. He attempted to get me to cum....and I assured him that it wasn't going to happen, but he persevered and eventually after he came and left me to my own devices I was able to get off. He then threw me a towel and I cleaned off. Then he said that he needed to shower, because he hadn't yet that day, and that after that we should go apple picking.
My reservations were compounding as the minutes passed and I knew apple picking was going to take longer than I wanted. Meanwhile he was planning dinner and breakfast the next morning. I needed an alternative to apple picking and a way out. Both came to me rather quickly, fortunately I have been in these need to get away situations before and have some tried and true Get Out of Date Free Cards to play. Based on the lovely weather and the fact that we were in Dorchester I suggested that we go for a walk to Castle Island. Then I also threw out that my roommate was potentially breaking up with her boyfriend and I might need to go home to help her cope with the break up. That was when the wonderfully old man-isms started flying, "Should I call the WHAAAAMBULANCE for her?"
He did eventually agree that the beach might be a good idea but he expressed his disappointment with not being able to "chuck" apples at me. I chuckled despite the fact that I was less than unamused. It was requested that I go and sit on the porch while he showered so I didn't have to observe his getting ready ritual. I happily headed out to the porch where I was able to see one of Geri's cute neighbors washing his car. Then after about 25 minutes he came back onto the porch more intoxicated than he had been prior to his shower.
We headed out to the beach and I was shocked at how intoxicated he actually was. He was staggering walking next to me and to be honest I was surprised he could find his way to the beach. We stopped to grab coffee on the way to the beach because I thought that maybe some other liquid in his system would help, but I was completely embarrassed by the fact that he couldn't even stand in one spot without leaning on the counter.
When we finally arrived at the beach he had suggested I realized that it was the old Stab N' Kill where Whitey use to dump his bodies. Sitting along the beach a man walking a dog came by and knew Geri. They had what must have been a 5-10 minute conversation that was very flirty but never once was I introduced. The guy's dog actually paid more attention to me more than either Geri or the mystery man.
He finally left and Geri explained that the mystery man was his ex-boyfriend who broke his heart. He also told me that he had spent the night with him the day before our date. That was pretty much the final straw. I needed to get out of there so I faked a text message from my friend saying that she was on her way home and needed me and a bottle of wine. Then he told me on our walk home that my friend sounded like she was "Two Cups of Crazy and a Side of CuckooCachoo" and I couldn't help but think, Someone in this situation is but I'm not sure its my friend.
On the walk home we passed a home for the mentally disabled and he drunkenly slurred out, "Yea that's the retard house. I had a friend with Down Syndrome in high school, we use to give him so much shit." I was now completely horrified and I began walking with a purpose. When we got back to his car he said something to the effect of, "Well I will just have to get other dinner plans for tonight, maybe I will even fuck them." Then he went in for a final kiss. I tried to make it a peck and then his tongue invaded my mouth and I had no other choice. I got in my car without a single look back, put on Quittin' Time and sped home.
All of my roommates were there and we ordered four pizzas and put away a few beers and a bottle of wine while watching Moulin Rouge. Is there really more you could ask of roommates. SO for now I guess its back to the drawing board. I will carefully avoid calls and make sure he knows its over but I will not be going on another date.
For now I guess that is all I have to report. If anyone has any suggestions on places to find normal men I am an open book feel free to let me know.
Chau!!
Well here is the story for all of you so you can feel better about your own lives. After our first date Geri called me and was interested in seeing me again. The first date went so well I jumped at the opportunity. He wanted to me to come by on Sunday evening after his work shift for ice cream and a movie. At first I wasn't huge on the idea because I thought it seemed like I was going to become a booty call, but I eventually gave in and agreed. Then that night I got a call from Geri and he wanted to reschedule for Monday during the day because he didn't want me to get the wrong impression. He realized that a second date of me coming to his place at 11pm might give the wrong impression. I was ecstatic! I quickly agreed to the Monday date, because for once I had Monday off, and we threw around some ideas and settled on apple picking.
Monday came and I got a call bright and early but I couldn't really understand him over the phone, but we settled on a time so I started doing some stuff for my patients and then I was going to head over. On my way to his place I called once again to let him know I was on my way and again I kept misunderstanding him over the phone. When I got to his place it did not look exactly how I remembered. It was not a really pretty old Victorian home in Dorchester, but rather an older Victorian in need of refurbishment on the brink of the hood. But who am I to judge a book by its cover?
So I called him again and he told me he was going to meet me at the front door...and he hoped I didn't mind he was in his underwear. To be honest....I was definitely intrigued and then I saw the underwear he was wearing. A pair of old tighty whities with holes in them and a black wife beater with an almost equal number of holes. I want you all to have a good picture of this in your head....they weren't sexy you can see some of my ass or dick kind of holes...they were I live in a trailer and can't afford new underwear kind of holes. Again though I thought...no its fine I am going to let this go maybe it will be fine. I even ignored the fact that he was on the phone with someone else and didn't say hi so much as he nodded approval and started walking up the stairs.
When we finally got in his apartment he led me to the kitchen where he finally got off the phone and went in for a kiss. I sort of begrudgingly gave him one and I noticed some red stuff on his lips that I couldn't quite make out. Then as he continued talking I realized that he was slurring a little bit. Almost immediately after that he began making scrambled eggs and rice and I realized that he was stumbling a little bit and that his breath when I kissed him smelled of something familiar....Geri was drunk and it was only 11a on a Monday.
I tried to figure out if he was drunk and began asking some questions that sort of beat around the bush and before long Geri simply revealed..."I'm drunk from last night. I went out with a bunch of co-workers and then came home and got high with my roommates."
I was completely taken aback. It hit me as soon as he said it that the previous night was not about being respectful with me but more likely that he got a better offer with his co-workers. But again who am I to judge we had only been on one date and I suppose it was possible he had woken up drunk.
Then he offered me a Bloody Mary which I refused because it was too early. We finished breakfast and we began kissing again and ended up in his bedroom. I was hoping that he would sober up and then we would be able to go apple picking like we planned. Then mid-hooking up he left and went to the kitchen presumably to get a glass of water and came back with a half consumed Bloody Mary. I couldn't believe it. I was really turned off.
We started hooking up again despite my own issues and then I noticed a mole on his dick and I may have said something about the potential for HPV. He became indignant and made me inspect his penis in the light to see that it was in fact a mole. Then he became aggravated that I could not shut off my nurse hat for 3 minutes and stood up from bed. I thought the situation had gotten significantly awkward so I moved to put on some clothes and suavely make my exit. And I was informed rather gruffly that I should stay and he was going to have a cigarette and would be back. I then made a move to at least put my underwear on because I thought the hooking up portion of the day was over and was again rather curtly told..."Don't do that, we're adults we can disagree and I can have a cigarette and then we can get back to that."
I wasn't really sure what to do. I mean I didn't hate making out with him or fooling around but I definitely was getting less attracted to him as the time went on. So I stayed and we continued to hook up. He attempted to get me to cum....and I assured him that it wasn't going to happen, but he persevered and eventually after he came and left me to my own devices I was able to get off. He then threw me a towel and I cleaned off. Then he said that he needed to shower, because he hadn't yet that day, and that after that we should go apple picking.
My reservations were compounding as the minutes passed and I knew apple picking was going to take longer than I wanted. Meanwhile he was planning dinner and breakfast the next morning. I needed an alternative to apple picking and a way out. Both came to me rather quickly, fortunately I have been in these need to get away situations before and have some tried and true Get Out of Date Free Cards to play. Based on the lovely weather and the fact that we were in Dorchester I suggested that we go for a walk to Castle Island. Then I also threw out that my roommate was potentially breaking up with her boyfriend and I might need to go home to help her cope with the break up. That was when the wonderfully old man-isms started flying, "Should I call the WHAAAAMBULANCE for her?"
He did eventually agree that the beach might be a good idea but he expressed his disappointment with not being able to "chuck" apples at me. I chuckled despite the fact that I was less than unamused. It was requested that I go and sit on the porch while he showered so I didn't have to observe his getting ready ritual. I happily headed out to the porch where I was able to see one of Geri's cute neighbors washing his car. Then after about 25 minutes he came back onto the porch more intoxicated than he had been prior to his shower.
We headed out to the beach and I was shocked at how intoxicated he actually was. He was staggering walking next to me and to be honest I was surprised he could find his way to the beach. We stopped to grab coffee on the way to the beach because I thought that maybe some other liquid in his system would help, but I was completely embarrassed by the fact that he couldn't even stand in one spot without leaning on the counter.
When we finally arrived at the beach he had suggested I realized that it was the old Stab N' Kill where Whitey use to dump his bodies. Sitting along the beach a man walking a dog came by and knew Geri. They had what must have been a 5-10 minute conversation that was very flirty but never once was I introduced. The guy's dog actually paid more attention to me more than either Geri or the mystery man.
He finally left and Geri explained that the mystery man was his ex-boyfriend who broke his heart. He also told me that he had spent the night with him the day before our date. That was pretty much the final straw. I needed to get out of there so I faked a text message from my friend saying that she was on her way home and needed me and a bottle of wine. Then he told me on our walk home that my friend sounded like she was "Two Cups of Crazy and a Side of CuckooCachoo" and I couldn't help but think, Someone in this situation is but I'm not sure its my friend.
On the walk home we passed a home for the mentally disabled and he drunkenly slurred out, "Yea that's the retard house. I had a friend with Down Syndrome in high school, we use to give him so much shit." I was now completely horrified and I began walking with a purpose. When we got back to his car he said something to the effect of, "Well I will just have to get other dinner plans for tonight, maybe I will even fuck them." Then he went in for a final kiss. I tried to make it a peck and then his tongue invaded my mouth and I had no other choice. I got in my car without a single look back, put on Quittin' Time and sped home.
All of my roommates were there and we ordered four pizzas and put away a few beers and a bottle of wine while watching Moulin Rouge. Is there really more you could ask of roommates. SO for now I guess its back to the drawing board. I will carefully avoid calls and make sure he knows its over but I will not be going on another date.
For now I guess that is all I have to report. If anyone has any suggestions on places to find normal men I am an open book feel free to let me know.
Chau!!
Sunday, August 25, 2013
You Got Cum Up My Nose...
Most people would agree that one of the best ways to spend a Sunday is doing absolutely nothing. I think most people would also agree that one of the few activities that would trump a lazy Sunday would be a 4 hour sex-a-thon. Well that's what I thought...But I may have ventured into the land of PLCs....once again...
Let me start from the beginning....How many of you remember Hickey??? Yes that Hickey. Well about two weeks ago he messaged me once again on OkCupid and we began chatting. Everything was innocent enough at first. Nothing nearly as crazy as the last time that I saw him at the Panera, but at some point, probably around 11pm that night he started to sort of dirty text me. I wouldn't even say it was sexting at this point just dirty texting. Then about 30 minutes in it became full on sexting....pictures and all. To be honest I completely forgot how dirty this guy could be. The craziness had taken the place of any good character traits about him. After an hour or so of dirty texting/sexting I finally relented and gave him my number again (he had deleted it in his anger after the Panera incident).
Hickey then told me that he would be going to Jamaica for a week but he would like to see me after that. I expressed my concern that I didn't want to give him the wrong impression. I was very clear that I really was not looking to date him but if he was still interested in fooling around we might be able to do something about that. He was pretty interested in the proposition so I said I would text him when he got back from Jamaica to talk about coffee sometime.
So a week went by and I texted him again. He had a good trip and thought about what I had proposed, a friends with benefits situation more than a real dating situation, and he was still interested. I thought about this for a while before I really agreed. I remember how emotionally invested he got the last time and I didn't want a repeat, but the truth is I hadn't had sex since Hickey so...yes one head got the better of the other.
We agreed that we would meet that Sunday for coffee....by a fortunate turn of events both of my current roommates were away for the week which made my apartment a pretty conducive meeting spot. I picked him up from Ruggles (since he lives in Malden) and then drove him to my place. We had a coffee and while watching tv and catching up started making out.
Quickly we were going at it just like we had in the past. His belt was off and then I picked up all six feet of him and he wrapped his legs around me and I walked him into my room and threw him on my bed. His shirt was off next and then mine. We were both struggling to get the others button only pants off. Its sort of funny that we were both wearing pants with no zippers and only buttons and yet neither one of us anticipated that the other person would be wearing them
************************NSFW************************
The sex then progressed quickly. He gave me an amazing blowjob just as I remembered. He was really into it and pretty skilled. His dick was bigger than I remembered. He was freshly shaved and made a point to tell me that he had cleaned himself up for the occasion. Everything from that point on just became carnal instincts. A lot of pulling, pushing, a little hitting, some biting, and a whole lot of hot kissing. The foreplay and oral sex went on for about 30 minutes or so...maybe a little longer.
Then the sex began. All Hickey wanted was for me to fuck him.....it was hot as hell. I haven't been with someone who just wanted to be fucked like that in a very long time. There is something about knowing that somebody just wants you inside of them that is a huge turn on to me. So I got him to put the condom on and then had him just ride me. He was super into it....literally slamming himself onto me. Again wicked hot!
The sex continued in about 10 positions for about 2.5-3 hours. It was exactly what I needed. Just some raw fucking to get out all of the pent up frustrations with my life and all of the pent up sexual energy. The absolute best part was that there was no position that Hickey was not up to try. The deeper I could go and the harder I could thrust the happier and louder he got.
The chemistry was simply fantastic! He trusted me and was able to fluidly move his body with mine and we both had a good time. Until my phone rang....
I paused for a moment and wasn't going to answer it but Hickey must have seen how uncomfortable it made me not to answer my work phone so he literally pulled my dick out of his ass and handed me my work phone. It was a patient and someone who actually needed to talk to me so it was a good thing that we took a break. I called the patient back and started to talk things over with him....Hickey of course couldn't keep his mouth to himself for one phone call...thank God I was able to control my natural reactions to his oral skills. I finally got off the phone with the patient threw on another condom and some lube and again started going to town.
Eventually Hickey requested that we stop because his ass was getting sore.(OOPS) To be completely honest I am impressed that he lasted as long as he did....Had someone been pounding me the way I was him I definitely think I would have bitched out much sooner (Eh...maybe...I don't really know I have never been outdone yet).
Since he took such a good fucking I asked Hickey what his preference for cumming was. SO I ended up with cum all over my stomach which he promptly cleaned up and then requested that I cum on his face. I decided that the least I could do after him offering up his ass for 2 hours would be to cum on his face. It took about five minutes and then I shot a huge load across his face. Some of it ended up on his eye. He was smart enough to have his eyes closed but I still worried some would get in his eye and let's be real....that sucks...its almost as bad as toothpaste in your eye. I grabbed a towel and wiped my load off his face and suggested we shower. He said "Sure, but give me that towel...you got cum up my nose!" OOOOoooooOOOooops! I guess that happens. Who knew? I couldn't help but laugh and neither could he.
*************************SFW*************************
We then hopped in the shower together and both washed each other off. It was actually nice. We both were finally able to talk like two friends who hadn't seen each other in a long time with no weird or awkward sexual tension. For whatever reason the conversation in the shower post-coitus was the most natural conversation I had ever had with Hickey. I think that because the sexual tension had been alleviated and he felt no need to try and make sure I was still going to like him and want to date him afterward everything was just much more relaxed for the both of us.
After showering we put our clothes back on and headed out to the living room and just sat and talked for a while...again like old friends. I tried to get him to go for a round two...I even volunteered to let him fuck me....I even pulled out one of my best deep throat tricks...which almost made him cum again, but he was pretty adamant that he didn't want a second round. To each his own I guess right? After talking for probably an hour he apologized for being so crazy when we were dating. He blamed it on recently having come out and recently having gotten out of a relationship. Then we grabbed coffee and I brought him home to Malden and headed back to my place to just enjoy the rest of my night.
When all is said and done he hasn't texted me since then unless I text him first and he has been pretty normal. I'm thinking this kind of friends with benefits arrangement might work out really well for the both of us and I can't say that I hate it. We shall see where this goes, but who knew we hadn't see the end of Hickey...life works in mysterious ways I guess.
Well Until Next Time....
Chau!!
Let me start from the beginning....How many of you remember Hickey??? Yes that Hickey. Well about two weeks ago he messaged me once again on OkCupid and we began chatting. Everything was innocent enough at first. Nothing nearly as crazy as the last time that I saw him at the Panera, but at some point, probably around 11pm that night he started to sort of dirty text me. I wouldn't even say it was sexting at this point just dirty texting. Then about 30 minutes in it became full on sexting....pictures and all. To be honest I completely forgot how dirty this guy could be. The craziness had taken the place of any good character traits about him. After an hour or so of dirty texting/sexting I finally relented and gave him my number again (he had deleted it in his anger after the Panera incident).
Hickey then told me that he would be going to Jamaica for a week but he would like to see me after that. I expressed my concern that I didn't want to give him the wrong impression. I was very clear that I really was not looking to date him but if he was still interested in fooling around we might be able to do something about that. He was pretty interested in the proposition so I said I would text him when he got back from Jamaica to talk about coffee sometime.
So a week went by and I texted him again. He had a good trip and thought about what I had proposed, a friends with benefits situation more than a real dating situation, and he was still interested. I thought about this for a while before I really agreed. I remember how emotionally invested he got the last time and I didn't want a repeat, but the truth is I hadn't had sex since Hickey so...yes one head got the better of the other.
We agreed that we would meet that Sunday for coffee....by a fortunate turn of events both of my current roommates were away for the week which made my apartment a pretty conducive meeting spot. I picked him up from Ruggles (since he lives in Malden) and then drove him to my place. We had a coffee and while watching tv and catching up started making out.
Quickly we were going at it just like we had in the past. His belt was off and then I picked up all six feet of him and he wrapped his legs around me and I walked him into my room and threw him on my bed. His shirt was off next and then mine. We were both struggling to get the others button only pants off. Its sort of funny that we were both wearing pants with no zippers and only buttons and yet neither one of us anticipated that the other person would be wearing them
************************NSFW************************
The sex then progressed quickly. He gave me an amazing blowjob just as I remembered. He was really into it and pretty skilled. His dick was bigger than I remembered. He was freshly shaved and made a point to tell me that he had cleaned himself up for the occasion. Everything from that point on just became carnal instincts. A lot of pulling, pushing, a little hitting, some biting, and a whole lot of hot kissing. The foreplay and oral sex went on for about 30 minutes or so...maybe a little longer.
Then the sex began. All Hickey wanted was for me to fuck him.....it was hot as hell. I haven't been with someone who just wanted to be fucked like that in a very long time. There is something about knowing that somebody just wants you inside of them that is a huge turn on to me. So I got him to put the condom on and then had him just ride me. He was super into it....literally slamming himself onto me. Again wicked hot!
The sex continued in about 10 positions for about 2.5-3 hours. It was exactly what I needed. Just some raw fucking to get out all of the pent up frustrations with my life and all of the pent up sexual energy. The absolute best part was that there was no position that Hickey was not up to try. The deeper I could go and the harder I could thrust the happier and louder he got.
The chemistry was simply fantastic! He trusted me and was able to fluidly move his body with mine and we both had a good time. Until my phone rang....
I paused for a moment and wasn't going to answer it but Hickey must have seen how uncomfortable it made me not to answer my work phone so he literally pulled my dick out of his ass and handed me my work phone. It was a patient and someone who actually needed to talk to me so it was a good thing that we took a break. I called the patient back and started to talk things over with him....Hickey of course couldn't keep his mouth to himself for one phone call...thank God I was able to control my natural reactions to his oral skills. I finally got off the phone with the patient threw on another condom and some lube and again started going to town.
Eventually Hickey requested that we stop because his ass was getting sore.(OOPS) To be completely honest I am impressed that he lasted as long as he did....Had someone been pounding me the way I was him I definitely think I would have bitched out much sooner (Eh...maybe...I don't really know I have never been outdone yet).
Since he took such a good fucking I asked Hickey what his preference for cumming was. SO I ended up with cum all over my stomach which he promptly cleaned up and then requested that I cum on his face. I decided that the least I could do after him offering up his ass for 2 hours would be to cum on his face. It took about five minutes and then I shot a huge load across his face. Some of it ended up on his eye. He was smart enough to have his eyes closed but I still worried some would get in his eye and let's be real....that sucks...its almost as bad as toothpaste in your eye. I grabbed a towel and wiped my load off his face and suggested we shower. He said "Sure, but give me that towel...you got cum up my nose!" OOOOoooooOOOooops! I guess that happens. Who knew? I couldn't help but laugh and neither could he.
*************************SFW*************************
We then hopped in the shower together and both washed each other off. It was actually nice. We both were finally able to talk like two friends who hadn't seen each other in a long time with no weird or awkward sexual tension. For whatever reason the conversation in the shower post-coitus was the most natural conversation I had ever had with Hickey. I think that because the sexual tension had been alleviated and he felt no need to try and make sure I was still going to like him and want to date him afterward everything was just much more relaxed for the both of us.
After showering we put our clothes back on and headed out to the living room and just sat and talked for a while...again like old friends. I tried to get him to go for a round two...I even volunteered to let him fuck me....I even pulled out one of my best deep throat tricks...which almost made him cum again, but he was pretty adamant that he didn't want a second round. To each his own I guess right? After talking for probably an hour he apologized for being so crazy when we were dating. He blamed it on recently having come out and recently having gotten out of a relationship. Then we grabbed coffee and I brought him home to Malden and headed back to my place to just enjoy the rest of my night.
When all is said and done he hasn't texted me since then unless I text him first and he has been pretty normal. I'm thinking this kind of friends with benefits arrangement might work out really well for the both of us and I can't say that I hate it. We shall see where this goes, but who knew we hadn't see the end of Hickey...life works in mysterious ways I guess.
Well Until Next Time....
Chau!!
Thursday, July 18, 2013
Almost Mistakes....
Since I got back from PTown I have attempted to be on my best behavior. I've also been working enough that I haven't really even had time to think about anything other than my patients. I did get the chance to actually go on OKCupid and talk to a few new people though....some of them even seem normal. But in the midst of my decision to enter back into the world of online dating I got a message from Hickey....
Yep that's right, Hickey, the guy who sent me 11 text messages in a row at 5am, the guy who stormed out of a Panera because "I'm not through, we're through", the guy who hated the idea of me dating someone else so much they tried to give me a hickey to get someone I was on a date with to ask about it....
Most sane people would ignore a message from someone this crazy....Not Me! I decided that I should answer. He seemed genuinely interested in just chatting. Just chatting of course led to him asking for my number again, which means he must have deleted it from his phone, and texting on the phone led to the real intention of the online dating message. Hickey is looking for a fuck buddy.
I think finally being out and still not having a steady boyfriend that he can have sex with sort of bothers him. He started insinuating that he would be down to just get together every now and then and fuck and to be honest I really did think this was a good idea at first. We had great sexual chemistry. The sex was NEVER the problem....it was the pillow talk afterwards that always caused issues.
Ultimately the texts turned into sexts which turned into me....home alone wishing this guy would come over so I could fuck him senseless. It was at this point I realized that this motherfucker was crazy enough to try and use sex as a ploy to get back into contact with me again. After being really clear that this would be nothing other than sex and I was not interested in it going further he finally started to back off of the idea eventually.
I honestly feel bad about the whole situation. I wish I could make myself like this guy more than I do. I wish that I could just have a boyfriend that meant nothing to me like so many other people do, but I just can't. I have a few friends who think that because I go on dates with people and never make them an official boyfriend I must be a slut....its actually quite the opposite I think. I refuse to give someone a special place in my life if there is no chance in hell that it is going to work out beyond the next two weeks. I have to see that this could for longer than the next couple months and however long it takes until the sex becomes boring. I think that is the biggest challenge. I don't think there is anything wrong with having sex outside of a relationship. If I have been on dates with people I need to know that the sex stuff works well before I continue to date them and especially before I choose to be in a relationship with them. And now I am rambling....
I guess there really isn't much else to say about this situation. Now I will just have to continue to wait until something comes along too good or too bad to pass up.
Chau!!!
Yep that's right, Hickey, the guy who sent me 11 text messages in a row at 5am, the guy who stormed out of a Panera because "I'm not through, we're through", the guy who hated the idea of me dating someone else so much they tried to give me a hickey to get someone I was on a date with to ask about it....
Most sane people would ignore a message from someone this crazy....Not Me! I decided that I should answer. He seemed genuinely interested in just chatting. Just chatting of course led to him asking for my number again, which means he must have deleted it from his phone, and texting on the phone led to the real intention of the online dating message. Hickey is looking for a fuck buddy.
I think finally being out and still not having a steady boyfriend that he can have sex with sort of bothers him. He started insinuating that he would be down to just get together every now and then and fuck and to be honest I really did think this was a good idea at first. We had great sexual chemistry. The sex was NEVER the problem....it was the pillow talk afterwards that always caused issues.
Ultimately the texts turned into sexts which turned into me....home alone wishing this guy would come over so I could fuck him senseless. It was at this point I realized that this motherfucker was crazy enough to try and use sex as a ploy to get back into contact with me again. After being really clear that this would be nothing other than sex and I was not interested in it going further he finally started to back off of the idea eventually.
I honestly feel bad about the whole situation. I wish I could make myself like this guy more than I do. I wish that I could just have a boyfriend that meant nothing to me like so many other people do, but I just can't. I have a few friends who think that because I go on dates with people and never make them an official boyfriend I must be a slut....its actually quite the opposite I think. I refuse to give someone a special place in my life if there is no chance in hell that it is going to work out beyond the next two weeks. I have to see that this could for longer than the next couple months and however long it takes until the sex becomes boring. I think that is the biggest challenge. I don't think there is anything wrong with having sex outside of a relationship. If I have been on dates with people I need to know that the sex stuff works well before I continue to date them and especially before I choose to be in a relationship with them. And now I am rambling....
I guess there really isn't much else to say about this situation. Now I will just have to continue to wait until something comes along too good or too bad to pass up.
Chau!!!
Monday, July 15, 2013
S/P PTown
Its been a week since I got back from PTown and I still have not reported on the goings on yet....so here goes nothing I guess...
The very first night I ended up spending all alone in this giant Brady Bunch style house waiting for all of my coworkers to arrive.....Wait I don't think I explained this yet....So its like a working vacation. A group of the nurses I work with, along with support staff, phlebotomists, registration, and other, all venture down to PTown rent a house and do free STD/HIV testing for a week. Its a little like Scrubs meets the Real World but televised on Logo if that even makes sense. I digress...so I am the first one in the house and instead of going out and being crazy I decided to take it easy. I got dinner but then I just went home and read...How boring I know, but exactly what I needed before the week began.
And then it started. We saw a ton of patients throughout the course of 5 days....there were probably only one or two that I was actually attracted to and they weren't my patients so it actually worked out rather nicely for me, I got to look and not feel guilty for checking out my patient.
We always do a big clinic on the day of the Fourth of July. This year was no different. An organization we work with usually gets together a group of attractive guys to try and find us patients clad in very little clothing. Again this year was no different. What was different is one of the outreach workers kept hitting on me. He was probably 6 feet tall, muscular, very hairy, very blue collar, wearing a blue bandana on his head and let's just say his speedo-runneth-over.
The first time he made a comment about me I totally ignored it. I figured it was all in good fun since it was in front of a group of the outreach workers, no harm no foul. Then he made another comment as he was walking by me almost under his breath. It was at that point I thought he might actually be serious. After the clinic we all, nurses and outreach workers went out to dinner together. I purposely sat at the opposite end of the table as the outreach workers surrounded by fellow nurses. Throughout the course of dinner several of the nurses chided me about being bitchy due to my lack of action lately and I chided back that we couldn't all be lucky enough to be married and get it regularly. Then as dinner was coming to a close one of the other nurses really wanted me to go out with her and meet her cousin. Seeing as I was still in scrubs and it was Ptown I thought this probably wasn't the best idea....I mean who goes out in scrubs in Ptown.
Cut to me a few shots later being goaded by my boss and the other nurses and the outreach workers to go out for just one drink. Eventually I broke down and agreed and who of course was right by my side the minute I made the decision to go out but the burly outreach worker....let's call him Trailer Pump (I'll explain later). The few of us made our way to the Crown and Anchor where of course the Trailer Pump began pretty aggressively making moves and I can't say I was hating it....it was also here that I began to see the familiar pattern reemerge.
Trailer Pump didn't have anything to drink at the bar because he was in recovery. From what you ask??? So did I and I give you the same answer I got.....EVERYTHING! Great!! However, on the bright side, I was invited along with another nurse to go along with Trailer Pump to visit four of his sponsees at one of the other places. He had sponsees, not just one but several.....that must mean that he is solid in his recovery from everything....right??? That's what I thought too.
At some point we ended up back at his place, a trailer in the campground right next to the house we rent, for a fire. When we arrived I was still having pretty mixed feelings about the whole situation...he was an outreach worker with a substance abuse history, but he was clean, had sponsors, and there was just something about him.....Then he started building the fire....I mean literally tearing pieces of wood apart with his bare hands completely shirtless....he could have come straight out of some old gay porn....It was hot! I couldn't deny it.
So we made our way inside the trailer and that's when I saw to the right of the bed the giant pump bottle of lube. That's right the Costco size bottle of lube! Talk about a RED FUCKING FLAG! It was at that point that I started laying down the ground rules. "WE are NOT HAVING SEX! Just not going to happen we can fool around, but we have to work together tomorrow and you have a giant pump bottle of lube so its just not happening." He nodded his head as he understood.
Then almost on cue he smiled and laughed and said....well let me show you the bathing suit I am wearing tomorrow then. That's when I got the full show. The BIGGEST shock...the speedo that runneth over was the result of a pretty tight cockring not an enormous cock. I should have known better. Things continued on...we fooled around a bit he got really into rimming me despite the fact that I told him I was not going to reciprocate the favor, "I fucking don't care I love the way it tastes"....I'm telling you there is something about a man's man who is just that aggressive that really does it for me every once and a while.
After an hour or so of fooling around I decided I needed to speed things along so I began pulling out some of my tricks and ultimately just ended up asking him what I could do to hasten the situation....and then I got the other really fun answer of the night...."Well if I can't fuck you can I fuck your thighs?"
I was dumbfounded....no one had ever asked me to do that before.....EVER! It gives a whole new meaning to the phrase there is a lot you can do without going all the way. I played soccer for years so I would say I have pretty strong thighs and he was really into it. So he laid down a towel, lubed up my thighs, and just had at it. It lasted all of about 2 minutes and that is being generous....then he came all over my inner thighs. He then flipped me over and began licking them like they were the best thing he'd ever tasted. Who knew? He went out for a cigarette and insisted he would finish me when he got back in. Then he put on a my scrubs which barely fit him and headed outside (sort of looked like this). I really do think he had some kind of a nurse fetish...but besides that he came back in and was true to his word about finishing me off.
Laying in a pose, with a similar amount of body hair, similar to the famous photo of Burt Reynold's in People, the post-orgasm pillow talk that every guy I hook up with seems to be so fond of began. He started talking about his ex-boyfriend and his life in St. Louis. The more he talked the happier I became that I had insisted we didn't have sex. This guy had quite the life and definitely brought with him enough baggage to sink the Titanic. That being said there was something sweet about him and trusting me to know all this stuff....I feel like no matter what is going on in my life things always come back to me being a nurse....I wish that would stop sometimes. I mean not all the time, I just wish I got a break every once in a great blue moon from that.
Eventually I got the guy to bring me back to the house as everyone else was already home at this point and I was going to need some rest for the clinic the next day. I slept and a few of the other nurses who had gone out with us and left me with Trailer Pump asked how things went. I informed them that nothing much had happened and we moved on with our day and headed to clinic.
When Trailer Pump arrived I got one of the most confused greetings I have ever received in my entire life. He hugged me and went in for a kiss, which I of course cheeked as I was at work and didn't really think that was appropriate especially from an outreach worker I had really just met the previous day. As the day progressed I was swamped with patients and Trailer Pump was clearly unhappy that I was not paying him the attention that I was paying to my patients and then all of a sudden he was gone. I didn't see where he went and I have no idea what happened. All I know is one of the other nurses thinks that they saw him and he appeared to be rather high....I'm hoping that this isn't the case....I feel like if the guy was going to relapse he was going to do it whether or not I paid him any attention....right?? At least that is what I am telling myself.
The rest of the trip went off without a hitch. I spent some time at the beach. I had brunch and went shopping with a few of the nurses and just generally enjoyed the atmosphere of Commercial St. during the day and chose to ignore the debuacherous ambience that tends to accompany the moonlight hours on Commercial.
All in all it was a pretty fun trip. I had just enough fun to tide me over for a little while and made arguably no PLCs.....Not bad....
I guess until next time!
Chau!
The very first night I ended up spending all alone in this giant Brady Bunch style house waiting for all of my coworkers to arrive.....Wait I don't think I explained this yet....So its like a working vacation. A group of the nurses I work with, along with support staff, phlebotomists, registration, and other, all venture down to PTown rent a house and do free STD/HIV testing for a week. Its a little like Scrubs meets the Real World but televised on Logo if that even makes sense. I digress...so I am the first one in the house and instead of going out and being crazy I decided to take it easy. I got dinner but then I just went home and read...How boring I know, but exactly what I needed before the week began.
And then it started. We saw a ton of patients throughout the course of 5 days....there were probably only one or two that I was actually attracted to and they weren't my patients so it actually worked out rather nicely for me, I got to look and not feel guilty for checking out my patient.
We always do a big clinic on the day of the Fourth of July. This year was no different. An organization we work with usually gets together a group of attractive guys to try and find us patients clad in very little clothing. Again this year was no different. What was different is one of the outreach workers kept hitting on me. He was probably 6 feet tall, muscular, very hairy, very blue collar, wearing a blue bandana on his head and let's just say his speedo-runneth-over.
The first time he made a comment about me I totally ignored it. I figured it was all in good fun since it was in front of a group of the outreach workers, no harm no foul. Then he made another comment as he was walking by me almost under his breath. It was at that point I thought he might actually be serious. After the clinic we all, nurses and outreach workers went out to dinner together. I purposely sat at the opposite end of the table as the outreach workers surrounded by fellow nurses. Throughout the course of dinner several of the nurses chided me about being bitchy due to my lack of action lately and I chided back that we couldn't all be lucky enough to be married and get it regularly. Then as dinner was coming to a close one of the other nurses really wanted me to go out with her and meet her cousin. Seeing as I was still in scrubs and it was Ptown I thought this probably wasn't the best idea....I mean who goes out in scrubs in Ptown.
Cut to me a few shots later being goaded by my boss and the other nurses and the outreach workers to go out for just one drink. Eventually I broke down and agreed and who of course was right by my side the minute I made the decision to go out but the burly outreach worker....let's call him Trailer Pump (I'll explain later). The few of us made our way to the Crown and Anchor where of course the Trailer Pump began pretty aggressively making moves and I can't say I was hating it....it was also here that I began to see the familiar pattern reemerge.
Trailer Pump didn't have anything to drink at the bar because he was in recovery. From what you ask??? So did I and I give you the same answer I got.....EVERYTHING! Great!! However, on the bright side, I was invited along with another nurse to go along with Trailer Pump to visit four of his sponsees at one of the other places. He had sponsees, not just one but several.....that must mean that he is solid in his recovery from everything....right??? That's what I thought too.
At some point we ended up back at his place, a trailer in the campground right next to the house we rent, for a fire. When we arrived I was still having pretty mixed feelings about the whole situation...he was an outreach worker with a substance abuse history, but he was clean, had sponsors, and there was just something about him.....Then he started building the fire....I mean literally tearing pieces of wood apart with his bare hands completely shirtless....he could have come straight out of some old gay porn....It was hot! I couldn't deny it.
So we made our way inside the trailer and that's when I saw to the right of the bed the giant pump bottle of lube. That's right the Costco size bottle of lube! Talk about a RED FUCKING FLAG! It was at that point that I started laying down the ground rules. "WE are NOT HAVING SEX! Just not going to happen we can fool around, but we have to work together tomorrow and you have a giant pump bottle of lube so its just not happening." He nodded his head as he understood.
***********************************NSFW****************************************
After an hour or so of fooling around I decided I needed to speed things along so I began pulling out some of my tricks and ultimately just ended up asking him what I could do to hasten the situation....and then I got the other really fun answer of the night...."Well if I can't fuck you can I fuck your thighs?"
I was dumbfounded....no one had ever asked me to do that before.....EVER! It gives a whole new meaning to the phrase there is a lot you can do without going all the way. I played soccer for years so I would say I have pretty strong thighs and he was really into it. So he laid down a towel, lubed up my thighs, and just had at it. It lasted all of about 2 minutes and that is being generous....then he came all over my inner thighs. He then flipped me over and began licking them like they were the best thing he'd ever tasted. Who knew? He went out for a cigarette and insisted he would finish me when he got back in. Then he put on a my scrubs which barely fit him and headed outside (sort of looked like this). I really do think he had some kind of a nurse fetish...but besides that he came back in and was true to his word about finishing me off.
**********************************SFW*****************************************
Eventually I got the guy to bring me back to the house as everyone else was already home at this point and I was going to need some rest for the clinic the next day. I slept and a few of the other nurses who had gone out with us and left me with Trailer Pump asked how things went. I informed them that nothing much had happened and we moved on with our day and headed to clinic.
When Trailer Pump arrived I got one of the most confused greetings I have ever received in my entire life. He hugged me and went in for a kiss, which I of course cheeked as I was at work and didn't really think that was appropriate especially from an outreach worker I had really just met the previous day. As the day progressed I was swamped with patients and Trailer Pump was clearly unhappy that I was not paying him the attention that I was paying to my patients and then all of a sudden he was gone. I didn't see where he went and I have no idea what happened. All I know is one of the other nurses thinks that they saw him and he appeared to be rather high....I'm hoping that this isn't the case....I feel like if the guy was going to relapse he was going to do it whether or not I paid him any attention....right?? At least that is what I am telling myself.
The rest of the trip went off without a hitch. I spent some time at the beach. I had brunch and went shopping with a few of the nurses and just generally enjoyed the atmosphere of Commercial St. during the day and chose to ignore the debuacherous ambience that tends to accompany the moonlight hours on Commercial.
All in all it was a pretty fun trip. I had just enough fun to tide me over for a little while and made arguably no PLCs.....Not bad....
I guess until next time!
Chau!
Tuesday, March 5, 2013
Am I a CRAZY Magnet?
For those of you who have been following my blog for the last month or so you have already heard about Hickey. Those of you who are just tuning in....I suggest going back and reading the other two posts about him otherwise you will probably be very confused while you read this one.
I had a fourth date with Hickey yesterday and everything seemed to go as planned. We met up and this time we ended up getting smoothies and some food at Boloco, think a locally owned Qdoba. Its nice enough not what I would expect for a date but Hickey seemed to actually enjoy himself this time which was definitely a change of pace. I mean he still did the weird I'm going to stare at you in silence thing but it was less frequent, and he did talk a little bit this time and he actually ate something.
Not to get sidetracked, but I think this was this first time I have seen the guy eat in the four dates that we have had. He has a sick body don't get me wrong. The guy is skinny, but lately I have noticed throughout the course of our few dates he has bulked up some which is something I am definitely not going to complain about. Actually thinking back on it he ate on our second date but nothing extraordinary. If we're speaking frankly the guy, with his clothes on, looks like he could be in one of the Feed the Children commercials where they tell you that for less than the price of one cup of coffee you can feed a child for a day in some weird country you have never heard of in your life. It was nice to see him eat. Okay back to the main story...how shallow of me to get sidetracked about a guys weight and body type...you'd think I was gay or something...
After finishing eating we headed back to my room where he informed me we were definitely not going to be having sex....Ummm yea sure...
I realized when he said that that I definitely have a slight problem. I mean I can go a while without having sex with someone that I am dating, but once I have sex with you....GAME ON....I mean especially after only having had sex once.
So naturally we started going at it despite his insistence that we would definitely not be having sex that night. And as we were he asked if I wouldn't mind being a little bit rougher and a little more domineering. Now for those of you who are worried that this means I am going to turn this blog into some sort of gay version of the 50 Shades novels fear not...I put those books to shame. Let's be real don't unleash my inner sexual dominant side unless you are really ready to handle it. I read people pretty well so knowing exactly what buttons to push to get someone to be so filled with sexual desire they'd do anything is something that comes pretty naturally to me.
In the post-coital pillow talk we began talking more than we had the entire date so far, another thing that has become pretty typical with him and me. One of the first things I complimented him on his ability to control his texting me throughout the week. And in that conversation he asked once again about my dating life very indirectly and I informed him that I had been on a date since our last one with another guy. He did not take this very well....I had been so happy because I thought I had been wrong about him becoming a STAGE 12 CLINGER and then I got the reaction of a lifetime to what I thought was a seemingly innocuous answer to a pretty easy question. The guy literally clammed up and got pouty like a four year old who had been scolded for having one too many cookies. Then he got angry and said Well I thought that you weren't doing that anymore.
At this point I had been completely thrown off my game. I thought I had been explicitly clear with this guy regarding my desire to date people besides him. I thought I had been very clear that we weren't boyfriends and that we were simply two guys who were dating. Then he said I should have listened to my coworkers they said if you wanted to date other people that I shouldn't be with you.
Again I was thrown for a loop. I just started apologizing. I mean what else does one do in this situation. "I'm sorry if I miscommunicated with you. I tried to be very clear from the outset that that was not what I was looking for." And then it started, the pouting turned into an almost inaudible deep breathing which I have become all too familiar with working in an Emergency Department. It's the breath sound associated with the forthcoming tears. That's right the guy literally folded into my arms and was choking back tears because I had been on a date with someone besides him. I continued apologizing. "I'm sorry I'm a dickhead." "You deserve better than me." "I'm sorry I didn't mean to give you the wrong impression." "I'm sorry, please don't hate me." One of the last apologies I made was something along the lines of "Listen if you hate me for now, can we be friends eventually." Suddenly he went from sad and almost despondent to pissed. He got up and started getting dressed like he had some place to be.
I got up and started to try and talk to him and I probably would have had better luck getting a response from a wall. I offered to walk him to the train station, which he begrudgingly accepted. Then when we got to the station he stood there staring at me and acting as if I had seriously betrayed him. Before he left I got a very angry hug, you know the kind little kids give when they are being forced to apologize to someone against their will. I thought for sure things were completely done. This guy was going to hate me forever. Still I texted him about a half an hour later to make sure that he got home safely and I got the curtest answer possible....K.
And I thought it was over. I had a glass of wine, ordered some takeout, watched some TV and then fell asleep. In the morning I was awakened by the sound of my phone receiving not one, but multiple text messages in a row....11 to be exact.....for those of you curious, I have transcribed them below.....
Text 1
Good morning. To be honest no I don't hate you. Truth is I love/like you. I'm not falling too too hard for you. But deep down inside I love you. I know that sounds weird. Lol..
Text 2
I just want us to forget about what happened last night. Well not the sex part lol. That I enjoyed ALOT. I really and truly don't wanna lose you. And I would hope that in the future when your ready to settle that I'm the one but I can't decide that.
Text 3
I want to be more than friends with you and don't ever say that again, I was gonna punch you in the throat. I hate when guys break up with you and then they try to pull the friend card. That's a deal breaker for me. MAJOR RED FLAG. Lol.
Text 4
But again I don't wanna lose you. And I want to continue dating you. And I want us to have more and more sex. Please sir lol. I love spending time with you. Although we have our awkward moments but its cute.
Text 5
I do find you very attractive.
Text 6
I think what the problem is, is me. And I came to realize that now. And I'm sorry if I seen too dramatic about the whole thing. I'm sorry. I'm kinda embarrassed.
Text 7
But I wanna continue dating you. I don't hate you. No your not a douche, I had worse, your not a dick head,. I think your a tool though lol. Just being honest with that one.
Text 8
I'm new to this dating thing and I don't know how to deal with a guy that dates other guys.
Text 9
I like your honesty that's a plus.
Text 10
And one more thing I still wanna have sex with you.
Text 11
Lol...that's all I have to say I think lol. For now I guess, uh yeah...Lol. That's it hehe.
Now I am going to avoid breaking this down text by text because I feel like that might be overkill, but let's talk about some of the highlights shall we.
Good things: He recognizes that he was unreasonable. He thinks I'm attractive. He still wants to have sex with me.
Bad things: This guy is FUCKING CRAZY!!! I mean if you send me a text message with MAJOR RED FLAG in all capital letters then I think it would be remiss of me to ignore that as anything except a sign from whatever God or supreme being we are all supposed to believe in.
To me it is pretty obvious what must be done so I have texted Hickey about meeting tonight to discuss through some of this stuff. Normally I would throw out the friend card or the fuck buddy card to sort of save face, but I am thinking that Hickey is not the type of guy that can emotionally handle something like that. He needs concrete lines and delineations in his life, which is exactly the kind of thing that I am trying to avoid. Whether me bailing on this guy is a result of my commitment phobia, or his absolute insanity is probably something up for questioning, but either way I think this is the death of Hickey.
We shall see what the night has in store, but I'm not going to hold my breath.
Until next time...
Chau!!!
I had a fourth date with Hickey yesterday and everything seemed to go as planned. We met up and this time we ended up getting smoothies and some food at Boloco, think a locally owned Qdoba. Its nice enough not what I would expect for a date but Hickey seemed to actually enjoy himself this time which was definitely a change of pace. I mean he still did the weird I'm going to stare at you in silence thing but it was less frequent, and he did talk a little bit this time and he actually ate something.
Not to get sidetracked, but I think this was this first time I have seen the guy eat in the four dates that we have had. He has a sick body don't get me wrong. The guy is skinny, but lately I have noticed throughout the course of our few dates he has bulked up some which is something I am definitely not going to complain about. Actually thinking back on it he ate on our second date but nothing extraordinary. If we're speaking frankly the guy, with his clothes on, looks like he could be in one of the Feed the Children commercials where they tell you that for less than the price of one cup of coffee you can feed a child for a day in some weird country you have never heard of in your life. It was nice to see him eat. Okay back to the main story...how shallow of me to get sidetracked about a guys weight and body type...you'd think I was gay or something...
After finishing eating we headed back to my room where he informed me we were definitely not going to be having sex....Ummm yea sure...
I realized when he said that that I definitely have a slight problem. I mean I can go a while without having sex with someone that I am dating, but once I have sex with you....GAME ON....I mean especially after only having had sex once.
So naturally we started going at it despite his insistence that we would definitely not be having sex that night. And as we were he asked if I wouldn't mind being a little bit rougher and a little more domineering. Now for those of you who are worried that this means I am going to turn this blog into some sort of gay version of the 50 Shades novels fear not...I put those books to shame. Let's be real don't unleash my inner sexual dominant side unless you are really ready to handle it. I read people pretty well so knowing exactly what buttons to push to get someone to be so filled with sexual desire they'd do anything is something that comes pretty naturally to me.
*****NSFW*****
We started with the pretty normal Suck my dick, bitch kind of stuff while I completely ignored the fact that his cock even existed, a feat which would have been much easier had his dick not been so big and hard and dripping. Then stuff tended to move into the more aggressive side with me throwing him around, slapping his ass, a little bit of spitting, a little bit more of me beating up on his body. And then I couldn't take it anymore and I flipped him over and just started fucking his ass. Initially he definitely pulled away a little bit, but after a few minutes he really got into it and started to slam his ass back against me. The guy just wanted the dick. I then proceeded to tease him a little bit more and after a few more minutes I flipped him over and started to fuck him while looking into his eyes. He couldn't take it anymore. I don't know if he couldn't take it because he was going to cum or because his ass was sore, but either way he insisted I stop. So being the gentleman I am, I obliged and removed my dick from his ass. We finished each other off with very little finesse. A lot of dirty talk, which has somehow become a specialty of ours, and him slurping up my load. All in a date's work....or so I thought.
****SFW****
In the post-coital pillow talk we began talking more than we had the entire date so far, another thing that has become pretty typical with him and me. One of the first things I complimented him on his ability to control his texting me throughout the week. And in that conversation he asked once again about my dating life very indirectly and I informed him that I had been on a date since our last one with another guy. He did not take this very well....I had been so happy because I thought I had been wrong about him becoming a STAGE 12 CLINGER and then I got the reaction of a lifetime to what I thought was a seemingly innocuous answer to a pretty easy question. The guy literally clammed up and got pouty like a four year old who had been scolded for having one too many cookies. Then he got angry and said Well I thought that you weren't doing that anymore.
At this point I had been completely thrown off my game. I thought I had been explicitly clear with this guy regarding my desire to date people besides him. I thought I had been very clear that we weren't boyfriends and that we were simply two guys who were dating. Then he said I should have listened to my coworkers they said if you wanted to date other people that I shouldn't be with you.
Again I was thrown for a loop. I just started apologizing. I mean what else does one do in this situation. "I'm sorry if I miscommunicated with you. I tried to be very clear from the outset that that was not what I was looking for." And then it started, the pouting turned into an almost inaudible deep breathing which I have become all too familiar with working in an Emergency Department. It's the breath sound associated with the forthcoming tears. That's right the guy literally folded into my arms and was choking back tears because I had been on a date with someone besides him. I continued apologizing. "I'm sorry I'm a dickhead." "You deserve better than me." "I'm sorry I didn't mean to give you the wrong impression." "I'm sorry, please don't hate me." One of the last apologies I made was something along the lines of "Listen if you hate me for now, can we be friends eventually." Suddenly he went from sad and almost despondent to pissed. He got up and started getting dressed like he had some place to be.
I got up and started to try and talk to him and I probably would have had better luck getting a response from a wall. I offered to walk him to the train station, which he begrudgingly accepted. Then when we got to the station he stood there staring at me and acting as if I had seriously betrayed him. Before he left I got a very angry hug, you know the kind little kids give when they are being forced to apologize to someone against their will. I thought for sure things were completely done. This guy was going to hate me forever. Still I texted him about a half an hour later to make sure that he got home safely and I got the curtest answer possible....K.
And I thought it was over. I had a glass of wine, ordered some takeout, watched some TV and then fell asleep. In the morning I was awakened by the sound of my phone receiving not one, but multiple text messages in a row....11 to be exact.....for those of you curious, I have transcribed them below.....
Text 1
Good morning. To be honest no I don't hate you. Truth is I love/like you. I'm not falling too too hard for you. But deep down inside I love you. I know that sounds weird. Lol..
Text 2
I just want us to forget about what happened last night. Well not the sex part lol. That I enjoyed ALOT. I really and truly don't wanna lose you. And I would hope that in the future when your ready to settle that I'm the one but I can't decide that.
Text 3
I want to be more than friends with you and don't ever say that again, I was gonna punch you in the throat. I hate when guys break up with you and then they try to pull the friend card. That's a deal breaker for me. MAJOR RED FLAG. Lol.
Text 4
But again I don't wanna lose you. And I want to continue dating you. And I want us to have more and more sex. Please sir lol. I love spending time with you. Although we have our awkward moments but its cute.
Text 5
I do find you very attractive.
Text 6
I think what the problem is, is me. And I came to realize that now. And I'm sorry if I seen too dramatic about the whole thing. I'm sorry. I'm kinda embarrassed.
Text 7
But I wanna continue dating you. I don't hate you. No your not a douche, I had worse, your not a dick head,. I think your a tool though lol. Just being honest with that one.
Text 8
I'm new to this dating thing and I don't know how to deal with a guy that dates other guys.
Text 9
I like your honesty that's a plus.
Text 10
And one more thing I still wanna have sex with you.
Text 11
Lol...that's all I have to say I think lol. For now I guess, uh yeah...Lol. That's it hehe.
Now I am going to avoid breaking this down text by text because I feel like that might be overkill, but let's talk about some of the highlights shall we.
Good things: He recognizes that he was unreasonable. He thinks I'm attractive. He still wants to have sex with me.
Bad things: This guy is FUCKING CRAZY!!! I mean if you send me a text message with MAJOR RED FLAG in all capital letters then I think it would be remiss of me to ignore that as anything except a sign from whatever God or supreme being we are all supposed to believe in.
To me it is pretty obvious what must be done so I have texted Hickey about meeting tonight to discuss through some of this stuff. Normally I would throw out the friend card or the fuck buddy card to sort of save face, but I am thinking that Hickey is not the type of guy that can emotionally handle something like that. He needs concrete lines and delineations in his life, which is exactly the kind of thing that I am trying to avoid. Whether me bailing on this guy is a result of my commitment phobia, or his absolute insanity is probably something up for questioning, but either way I think this is the death of Hickey.
We shall see what the night has in store, but I'm not going to hold my breath.
Until next time...
Chau!!!
Monday, March 4, 2013
Hairy Little Beast....
Okay this is a short one proving that old habits don't die hard....in fact old habits just never die. Its Saturday night and I have been invited to a party by my roommates for one of their cousin's 21st. One of my roommates seems to have the absolute epitome of no game. I mean he might actually be the first person I have ever met with negative game. So I decided I was going to try and play wingman for him and see if I could get him any ass.
I spent over half an hour talking with this one girl. She was primed and ready to go and actually seemed to show a genuine interest in my roommate which I as the helpful gay friend was able to exploit and magnify to a different level. All my roommate now had to do was close...not bad right? Well he was acting like a pussy trying to get this girl to come home with him. He wouldn't make a move. He then, drunkenly, made a statement to the effect that "if making a move is so easy how come I don't see you doing it". It was at this point that I began scouring the party for any other gay guy there.
Then I saw him in the corner. Some small pocket gayby was just sitting in the corner on the phone. So to prove a point, as is too often the case with me, I went over to the gayby and said, "Get off the phone" He looked stunned that someone had spoken to him. He started babbling about who was on the phone, why he was sitting in the corner, and why he was ignoring the party and in typical fashion I just grabbed him and shoved my tongue down his throat. And almost instantaneously the phone was hung up. After about 5 minutes of making out I invited the guy back to my place. On the way out the door I gave my roommate a smug look and dragged the unsuspecting gayby behind me.
When I got home I realized just how drunk this guy was as he was trying to take off his clothes. I also realized that although the guy appeared to be the perfect pocket gayby....he was actually covered in body hair. But covered in a very uniform and almost sexy way. It is very unusual for me to be attracted to someone white, hairy, short, and pretty flamboyant, but apparently after a few drinks and a challenge from a roommate my type changes a little bit.
We started going at it almost immediately and I realized that this gayby was more screwed up than I though. The Hairy Little Beast (HLB) started telling me all about the guys he had been with since he came out 6 months ago (shocker there right). Apparently this kid had already had rectal Gonorrhea twice. And that was my cue to avoid actually having sex with him. Then when the kid whipped his pants off and I saw that his dick was about the same size as PillHeads I realized that this was definitely a PLC.
Man I had been doing so well too...but I guess some things will never change.
Oh the best part, HLB decided, as I was trying to blow him in much the same manner I use to blow PillHead (balls and cock at once) that he wasn't into it and didn't want to cum. Then in the morning he called me the wrong name. Then he told me that he was just not into me at all physically but continue to sleep and cuddle in my bed until I said, "So are you just going to stay here after that" Then he took the hint and hit the road.
You'd think at this point in my life I would be able to ignore a dumb comment from a roommate with negative game, but I guess that is not the case once I've had a few drinks in me. Oh well....whatcha gonna do, right?
Until next time...
Chau!!
I spent over half an hour talking with this one girl. She was primed and ready to go and actually seemed to show a genuine interest in my roommate which I as the helpful gay friend was able to exploit and magnify to a different level. All my roommate now had to do was close...not bad right? Well he was acting like a pussy trying to get this girl to come home with him. He wouldn't make a move. He then, drunkenly, made a statement to the effect that "if making a move is so easy how come I don't see you doing it". It was at this point that I began scouring the party for any other gay guy there.
Then I saw him in the corner. Some small pocket gayby was just sitting in the corner on the phone. So to prove a point, as is too often the case with me, I went over to the gayby and said, "Get off the phone" He looked stunned that someone had spoken to him. He started babbling about who was on the phone, why he was sitting in the corner, and why he was ignoring the party and in typical fashion I just grabbed him and shoved my tongue down his throat. And almost instantaneously the phone was hung up. After about 5 minutes of making out I invited the guy back to my place. On the way out the door I gave my roommate a smug look and dragged the unsuspecting gayby behind me.
When I got home I realized just how drunk this guy was as he was trying to take off his clothes. I also realized that although the guy appeared to be the perfect pocket gayby....he was actually covered in body hair. But covered in a very uniform and almost sexy way. It is very unusual for me to be attracted to someone white, hairy, short, and pretty flamboyant, but apparently after a few drinks and a challenge from a roommate my type changes a little bit.
We started going at it almost immediately and I realized that this gayby was more screwed up than I though. The Hairy Little Beast (HLB) started telling me all about the guys he had been with since he came out 6 months ago (shocker there right). Apparently this kid had already had rectal Gonorrhea twice. And that was my cue to avoid actually having sex with him. Then when the kid whipped his pants off and I saw that his dick was about the same size as PillHeads I realized that this was definitely a PLC.
Man I had been doing so well too...but I guess some things will never change.
Oh the best part, HLB decided, as I was trying to blow him in much the same manner I use to blow PillHead (balls and cock at once) that he wasn't into it and didn't want to cum. Then in the morning he called me the wrong name. Then he told me that he was just not into me at all physically but continue to sleep and cuddle in my bed until I said, "So are you just going to stay here after that" Then he took the hint and hit the road.
You'd think at this point in my life I would be able to ignore a dumb comment from a roommate with negative game, but I guess that is not the case once I've had a few drinks in me. Oh well....whatcha gonna do, right?
Until next time...
Chau!!
Monday, December 17, 2012
Well....I got my Mojo Back....
Maybe I shouldn't have complained about my missing Mojo....
I got it back and had a few flirty encounters this weekend one that even ended in a real date.
I mean it was a real date until I screwed it up and made it all weird again....and seriously I am straight back to my old ways....well not straight back, but you get what I mean. So the guy I went on a date with last night. He is a self-proclaimed alcoholic, but not like HaHa-funny-I'm-A-24-year-old-Alcoholic more like the I Attend Meetings Almost Every Night of the Week-Have been to a Halfway House-Could Have been on the Dr. Drew show-Alcoholic. So that is just perfect.
Let me cut to the chase this guy....we will call him FTA....short for Fast Talking Alchie...I know that seems mean which is why I am going to stick with the abbreviation. So FTA is not really my type at all...First off he is super white and tans regularly...yep he is a tanning bed baby...oy vey. On top of this and the recovering alcoholic thing I have never met a more anxious person in my entire life. Seriously he talked a mile a minute and I could barely get a word in edge wise but it was clear it was because he was nervous. I decided it was probably best if I invited him back to my apartment after our short coffee date because I felt like maybe in a more homey type of setting he would be more comfortable.
He had an AA meeting to go to at 8 naturally so he asked if maybe he could come by afterward. I said we should see when he got out first. Cut to me in my living room alone eating Whole Foods soup and watching the WORST VH1 Divas concert EVER and saying why don't you jsut come by you can spend the night if you want. That's right....I blame the 2012 VH1 Divas Live Concert on my PLC to bring a recovering alcoholic home with me overnight after a first date....
We started kissing and FTA just couldn't hang. He was so fidgety and nervous. Then he admitted he has only ever done anything with three guys. Could you imagine??? So sad. But I digress, an hour or so later I had FTA calm enough to just enjoy my company. So we swapped some blowjobs and the next disappointing factor of FTA came to fruition.....his dick was small and had a skin tag, which I may or may not have mistaken for HPV and questioned him on which I think only made him more nervous....OOOOPS!
A shower finished off our little tryst and then we split a bag of potato chips while watching some old rerun of Roseanne, he popped some pills and we went to bed. FTA wanted me to go shopping with him today....yes he is one of those gays, but I politely lied my way out of it by pretending my phone call from a computer service was work calling me to draw blood on a patient in Dorchester....Isn't it great to have a job that you can get called in for??
Now I have the dilemma of course of how to break it to this guy that I don't think its going to work. I mean for Christ's sake he left a message that said "Your hot" in marker on my mirror.....how do you tell someone that is only cute in movies? Well I am sure I will figure it out....I'm thinking a second date with something definitive planned after that I HAVE to be at so I can make my exit...or maybe just say I went home for Xmas and forget to text him when I get back from holiday??? Who knows, I'll have to think of something so I'm not responsible for this kid falling off the wagon.
I guess that's all I have for now....but good news for all of you my MOJO is back....bad news for my dating life, but probably funny reading to be had by all in the near future.
Chau!!!!
I got it back and had a few flirty encounters this weekend one that even ended in a real date.
I mean it was a real date until I screwed it up and made it all weird again....and seriously I am straight back to my old ways....well not straight back, but you get what I mean. So the guy I went on a date with last night. He is a self-proclaimed alcoholic, but not like HaHa-funny-I'm-A-24-year-old-Alcoholic more like the I Attend Meetings Almost Every Night of the Week-Have been to a Halfway House-Could Have been on the Dr. Drew show-Alcoholic. So that is just perfect.
Let me cut to the chase this guy....we will call him FTA....short for Fast Talking Alchie...I know that seems mean which is why I am going to stick with the abbreviation. So FTA is not really my type at all...First off he is super white and tans regularly...yep he is a tanning bed baby...oy vey. On top of this and the recovering alcoholic thing I have never met a more anxious person in my entire life. Seriously he talked a mile a minute and I could barely get a word in edge wise but it was clear it was because he was nervous. I decided it was probably best if I invited him back to my apartment after our short coffee date because I felt like maybe in a more homey type of setting he would be more comfortable.
He had an AA meeting to go to at 8 naturally so he asked if maybe he could come by afterward. I said we should see when he got out first. Cut to me in my living room alone eating Whole Foods soup and watching the WORST VH1 Divas concert EVER and saying why don't you jsut come by you can spend the night if you want. That's right....I blame the 2012 VH1 Divas Live Concert on my PLC to bring a recovering alcoholic home with me overnight after a first date....
We started kissing and FTA just couldn't hang. He was so fidgety and nervous. Then he admitted he has only ever done anything with three guys. Could you imagine??? So sad. But I digress, an hour or so later I had FTA calm enough to just enjoy my company. So we swapped some blowjobs and the next disappointing factor of FTA came to fruition.....his dick was small and had a skin tag, which I may or may not have mistaken for HPV and questioned him on which I think only made him more nervous....OOOOPS!
A shower finished off our little tryst and then we split a bag of potato chips while watching some old rerun of Roseanne, he popped some pills and we went to bed. FTA wanted me to go shopping with him today....yes he is one of those gays, but I politely lied my way out of it by pretending my phone call from a computer service was work calling me to draw blood on a patient in Dorchester....Isn't it great to have a job that you can get called in for??
Now I have the dilemma of course of how to break it to this guy that I don't think its going to work. I mean for Christ's sake he left a message that said "Your hot" in marker on my mirror.....how do you tell someone that is only cute in movies? Well I am sure I will figure it out....I'm thinking a second date with something definitive planned after that I HAVE to be at so I can make my exit...or maybe just say I went home for Xmas and forget to text him when I get back from holiday??? Who knows, I'll have to think of something so I'm not responsible for this kid falling off the wagon.
I guess that's all I have for now....but good news for all of you my MOJO is back....bad news for my dating life, but probably funny reading to be had by all in the near future.
Chau!!!!
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