Restarting on Valentine's Day

Well...it is officially 2020.....I'm 30..With 5 jobs and in grad school...and still desperately single.....

To be honest I was hoping to be able to update this blog one day with a link to a disgusting Instagram couples account with a picture of me and my future husband on a beach somewhere, but alas I'm beginning to think that is becoming less and less likely as the years trudge on. I oscillate between being okay with this and feeling like if I am still alone at 40 then I might just actually give up on trying to be with someone and just adopt a kid and a dog ad settle down with myself.

It is really funny how this blog has morphed throughout the years from me being worried that I would never be able to commit to now feeling like I might not ever be able to find someone who wants to commit to me. For a long time I have focused on the issues that other people had that made them not realistic for me to date, but I'm beginning to wonder if maybe it has just been me all along.

So in a weird act of contrition I think that I am going to make a list of all the reasons that someone might decide I was not a right fit for them.

1. I work WAAAAAAY to much. I have known that this was a problem for a while now that I have just never really wanted to address because work is one of the few things that I have that gives me a purpose. Also selfishly work is one of the few places that I feel like I get a genuine connection with people outside of my family. I'm not really sure what the best way to work on this is....I mean obviously I could just quit one or two or three of my jobs, but I really don't want to do that. Eventually, I will change this one...I swear.....I PROMISE....just not yet, don't make me.

2. I've really stopped caring about my physical appearance in the last year. I really need to find the inside of a gym again because this muffin top is not pretty or tasty.

3. I'm a slob....I mean I'm not dirty, but I am definitely not neat and tidy. I really don't know how so many of these homos are so type A and prim and proper. I'm a mess. I love being able to walk into the house and take my pants off and then pick them up the next morning before work.

4. I can be dismissive of small problems. The people that I work with are always chaotic and frequently in crisis so if I come home or we go out and I have to hear about how Becky at work snubbed you at the water cooler and how that was the worst part of your day then I will probably tell you to consider yourself lucky.

5. I can be arrogant and condescending. I try really hard to keep myself in check, but there are some days when I do feel like what I do is vitally important and act like I am the only person who can do it. I feel like gay dating in some way sets people up to act this way though. People are always looking for the boyfriend with the best husband resume right? The abs....check....the job....check....the money...check...the do-gooder insta attitude...check.....the sexual prowess of a porn star...check....and the list goes on. I have actually been on a date when someone went through a mental checklist with me before deciding to go on to the next activity. Trying to figure out how to create the  perfect husband resume and not come off like an arrogant prick is still something I am in a regular struggle about.

6. My relationship with my family can be a bit much for people. This is definitely something that I don't think I can change and its not really something I am interested in changing so I will need to figure out some kind of work around for this. Or just get someone who can understand or appreciate my family connection.

7. I'm greedy. I want to have my cake and eat it too. I want a partner on my terms....when and how and as frequently as I can. I don't want terms to be dictated to me, but rather I want to be the one dictating the terms. I want the illustrious career, the blossoming academic reputation, and the 1950s Leave it to Beaver living situation.

8. I love to play devil's advocate. While I might be loyal to a fault outwardly, inwardly I will always pick the opposite side and just argue it out. I find this to be stimulating mental acrobatics, but many people just find it annoying and unnecessary.

9. I'm distrustful of anyone that likes or compliments me. The minute someone starts to show interest I assume there is some kind of ulterior motive. They want something from me or are trying to hook up with one of my friends. I also tend to keep interested men at arms length because when people like me I assume it is only a matter of time until they break up with me.

10. I'm a furnace when I sleep and I very rarely turn the heat on in my house. This is strange for some, but I love my house being a bit chilly. I would much rather put on a sweater or two or bake cookies in the oven than turn the heat on. I could probably compromise about this if ever given the opportunity honestly.


I think I'll stop at ten otherwise I'm not sure I will ever stop. I have a few stories I am going to try and write and get up in the next few weeks. I am going to the Berkshires and then I will be in Hawaii, so I am hoping for a little time to decompress.

Until next time!

Tchau...

The Hufflepuff

So it finally happened today...the it's not you it's me conversation. I knew it was coming and low and behold it did. And now I feel incredibly silly as I sit preparing to write this post because I realize I am more upset about this man that I only went on three dates with than I have been about people I dated for several months.

Date 1: I should have known from the minute I got out of my Uber and met him in line at Mike's Pastry's how this would end, and if I'm being honest I think I did. Our first interaction was an awkward handshake and beginning of a conversation and this look of disappointment at the way I looked. Such is life I guess but I allowed myself to get attached anyway. The Hufflepuff is tall, dark and handsome, a D1 track athlete who works with students requiring an IEP at a special school. He has political aspirations, a husband dick, an amazing body, and is genuinely a really nice person. He is kind with a  charming personality and I was really feeling it.

We grabbed cannolis and cappuccinos at Mike's and proceeded to walk to the area by the Coast Guard where you can sit and see the Boston Harbor. After that we walked around and the conversation flowed well and I came to like him even more. He is a man's man and again, just genuinely a nice person. He has a big vocabulary because he reads and he seemed genuinely interested. We grabbed some apps and a drink and then he drove me home. I kissed him goodnight and then went inside. A really respectable first date with a  really nice guy.

I should mention that we met on OKCupid and he messaged me first. I think it's nice to know that at least on paper at one point he was interested....again....sort of my MO.

Date 2: We went to dinner and then ended up getting dessert. It was fun and the conversation again flowed easily. He insisted on feeding me cake when we went to get dessert which I find both sickening and was secretly loving. I really do want a man who wants to dote on me and feed me even if I might pretend that I am sickened by the thought.

He ended up spending the night at my place with the understanding that we weren't going to have sex. He was the big spoon and we fooled around and I was and still am in awe of his body. He has muscles everywhere!!! What else was nice is that he gives pretty good head. He wasn't super aggressive in bed, which was a little bit of a bummer, but I thought I would let it slide since I genuinely liked him.

Date 3: We ended up going to a trampoline park and to a brewery which was great. We were active and we fooled around and made jokes the entire day. I really did enjoy myself and getting to see him act literally like a giant kid at a trampoline park was so much fun.

When we got home my roommate was here with her mom who was recently diagnosed with cancer. She was going to be spending the night on our couch. I wasn't sure if the Hufflepuff would want to venture back to NH or spend the night so I made the offer. He opted to stay with us and we made a cake and then watched a movie while we fell asleep.

We fooled around that night be we never actually ended up having sex; just dry humping and some oral fun. I guess one interesting thing is that I never actually came with him.  I made him cum a few times but for some reason I could never quite get there with him. I don't know if I was intimidated or nervous. I actually orgasmed once but I didn't ejaculate

*** I guess as an aside I should say, I have acquired this strange ability to orgasm without cumming. I don't know when it happened or why, but it's a new skill and it has happened to me on more than one occasion in the last few months. Its really confusing to me, but it is even more confusing to the people I am sleeping with because they think I am faking an orgasm. I can understand their reticence to believe me, but it really is the truth. So I think that perhaps this played into everything as well though I don't suppose we will ever really know. ****

The next morning the Hufflepuff woke up and shared a pot of coffee with me and my roommate and her mother and then was off to go rock climbing. And right before he left I got this weird feeling about seeing him again.

I had planned on driving up to see him on Valentine's Day since he had always come down to see me, but then I got a cold and I continued to get a sense that he was not really interested in seeing me. I don't know what it was necessarily, but I think it was just a difference in text message response time. I know that sounds stupid, but there was something different about the text composition, both grammar and prose were off and I knew that there was something more afoot.

In Mounting Securities, I think all of my fears came to a head and then today when we met they were confirmed.

We went and grabbed coffee and walked around the bike path in Somerville until we got back to my house. Once back he had a cookie sat down and said, "So how do you think this is going?" Never a good sign...so I told him that while I thought it was going well I got a vibe that perhaps he didn't think that way.....

I could have a been a dick. I could have dragged it out. I could have made him feel horrible. But as he looked at me with trepidation and concern in his eyes I realized I had seen this coming. This has happened to me before. Othello was one in a myriad of perfect men for me who in one disarmingly charming way or another 'let me down gently'.

So in the same composed-nurse way that I tell a patient that they have HIV and that everything is going to be okay even though I have no idea if that is true or not. I looked him in the eyes and said, "It's okay. I'm a big boy. Sometimes things just don't work. It's cool. I'm fine." He looked surprised and relieved all at once.

Then almost on cue he said, "Are you telling me the truth or are you doing that nurse thing where you pretend everything's okay when it's not?" At this point I had two options: 1) Double down and confirm that I was a mature person capable of rationale thought with control of my emotions or 2) Tell the truth, that I was secretly dying inside wondering if this was all my dating life would ever amount to...an almost or a just not quite right.

You just can't devastate a Hufflepuff...that's fucked up. So I doubled down. I offered the friend card like I do with everyone I've ever dated and he seemed happy and content and most importantly relieved. He kissed me goodbye and I told him that the ball to hang out was now in his court.

I'm disappointed.....mostly in myself....I never get attached like this. I don't usually tell people, particularly my family about who I'm dating and I broke all of my rules with this guy. I fucked up. I let him get to me and now I feel like shit. But such is life and sometimes....you just feel like a useless piece of shit.

So what do I do? I go back to the one thing that I know I can always have....my patients. I put stew in the crockpot and headed out to check on all of my beautiful disasters. Even if nobody else wants me....they're stuck with me.

Mounting Insecurities

Shortly after restarting this blog I met someone online. He is everything I have always thought I wanted. Tall, handsome, friendly, ambitious, a total Hufflepuff, sexual chemistry, a GRE level vocabulary...he is essentially the hot gay nerd. I struck gold. We have been on three amazing dates, he has slept over twice, he met my roommate. I have gushed about him to my friends and coworkers. But for some reason this week I got this sinking pit in my stomach that I shouldn't get too attached. I hadn't thought once about jumping ship and then this week it hit me that I was nervous about what was going to happen next. There is some part of me that is petrified that what happened with Othello is going to happen here. I have been protecting him from the blog, because usually by the time I write a post about people that means they are not long for my dating world. I realized tonight that was ridiculous. Tonight is the first night that I have sent him a text message and he hasn't responded. I know that's stupid, and I know I'm being ridiculous and that this might mean nothing, but in my experience this is the beginning of the end.

By the third date the charm of dating someone who works as much as I do for my patients who have nothing has worn off and you want someone who can devote more time to you. By the end of the third date, you're sick of my swearing sailor mouth and want someone who can just chill and be cool. By the end of the third date you realize my life is really a fucking shit show and I am rarely in charge of what I am doing from one second to the next. By the end of the third date you realize that my room is always messy and I really don't care much about my appearance. By the end of the third date you realize my taste in everything from clothing to music isn't eclectic its just fucking weird and you are over it. By the end of the third date you realize I really am not that nice of a person and that the reason I have my jobs is to give me some chance of not going directly to hell. By the end of the third date you realize that I am more trouble than I'm worth and it would be way easier to get some Grindr slut to suck you off. By the end of the third date you realize that until you have a conversation with me about where we are in terms of dating I will assume that the buck stops there. By the end of the third date if I am still interested I have already become the clingy, annoying, and desperate boy that no one really wants to date.

So here I sit....several days after the end of the third date....and all I face are mounting insecurities about things that I have said, actions I have taken, and text messages I have and have not sent since we started dating.......waiting patiently to hear the chime from my phone indicating a text rather than the depressing trill of some horny Grindr queen.

A Birthday Weekend Extravaganza

I know that I may have been gone for a while, but some things have not changed. I turned 27 this last week and I am still a total work-a-holic (I'm up to 4 jobs now) and I still am single as ever. I have never had a boyfriend despite my best efforts and I currently don't have a single prospect.

So what is a 27 year old guy to do on his birthday weekend... I took it off...I didn't work a single job, all weekend. Instead I planned to go out and drink and dance and have a good time. Of course life is never simple and there is always a wrench to be thrown into the plan.

Let's take it day by day shall we:

FRIDAY
I wasn't really sure where I was going to go or who I was going to go out with, but I was determined to do something fun. So I left work late, per usual, went to the gym and then headed home to eat and get dressed. As I was eating, one of my regular hook up buddies hit me up.

What you all need to know about this regular fb, let's call him LOC (Lawyer Of Color) is that the last time we fooled around I found out that he has a boyfriend. After multiple hook ups with LOC, he finally told me that he has had a boyfriend for 16 years and that they have been living together since 2006. Per LOC they are in an open relationship and it is completely okay to sleep with others. However, LOC spent the night the last time he came over and received multiple text messages from his boyfriend/common law husband in the morning. That seems to be a pretty normal reaction, but what was strange is that LOC didn't simply say that he fell asleep at the house of his hook up, instead he said that he was at another friend's home. Why lie if it was okay and you had an arrangement? It seemed odd, but I decided to let it go. I wasn't looking to make him my husband so what do I care about the logistics of his own long term relationship.

I tell you this to explain that on Friday night when LOC hit me up, I told him that he could come by, but I was going out. He was excited to go out because in his relationship state this apparently does not happen that frequently. We ultimately decided to go to Paradise and he came to my place so we could uber together. Then as I was getting ready he proceeded to get somewhere between 5 and 20 text messages. None of them were happy. I decided I would give him a few minutes to call his hubby and I encouraged him to tell his hubby to join us at the bar. I figured if there really were in an open relationship it would be fine. Then about 10 minutes later and uber became unnecessary because his hubby was coming to pick us up and drive us and accompany us to the bar. Cut to perhaps the most awkward car ride of my life. I sat in the back, alone and was talked about while in the car by both LOC  and his husband. OH yes a full on tense conversation that I tried to intersperse with funny anecdotes or stories, which received no response from either party. I may as well have talked to myself.

When we finally got to the club, I immediately headed for the bar, where much to my surprise LOC's Hubby bought me a drink. Finally after two scotch and waters the hubby started to become talkative. It was probably half an hour into a rather typical night at Paradise when one of the other guys I have recently been dating walked in.

The other guy (who waltzed into the awkward night that was me as the third wheel to LOC's marriage) is a young black opera singer originally from the South. He is super nice, has a great singing voice, and an ass that you could bounce a quarter off. He is currently in grad school and working at one of the local colleges while still managing to go on auditions. I will call him Southern Divo for the blog for obvious reasons.

Well Southern Divo was not alone. He brought with him ProfAK. ProfAK was Southern Divo's voice teacher while he was in undergrad at a school in Arkansas. Apparently the professor and his student had hooked up after the professor finally left his wife. The two of them were now getting together in the city of Boston and decided to come to Paradise.....of course, where else would such a relationship be tolerated. To describe ProfAK I need only say he is exactly what you would picture a recently out southern opera voice teacher to look like, complete with spectacles, pale white skin, and large grandpa sweater despite being rather handsome.

Well the odd couple ended up joining the odd thruple on the dance floor and we actually had a pretty good night. It was a weird combination of jealousy and drama for me though. I guess I have been out of the gay club scene for a while and forgot how messy things can get when alcohol and emotions are involved. Ultimately I spent my night alternating between flirting and dancing with Southern Divo and LOC while ProfAK and LOC's Hubby were alternately flirting with me and giving me the evil eye. I felt a little like both sets of guys were competing to see who I might go home and have a threesome with, which was really strange.

When the club finally closed, LOC and Hubby were barely speaking to each other, but both wanted me to get in a car and go home with them. I politely shot them both down, insisting that I was going to take public transit so they didn't have to go out of their way to drive me home.

Then somewhere between the exit of Paradise and Mass Ave (not even a city block) I decided I would invite Southern Divo and ProfAK to brunch with me the next morning. Naturally when they agreed I also invited them to spend the night at my place since my roommate was away.

********************************NSFW***************************************
One thing led to another and before I knew it both Southern Divo and ProfAK were naked in my bed and we were fooling around. In no time we went from harmlessly making out with each other to seeing which one of us was most adept at shoving two cocks in their mouth at the same time.

You would think having two men that specialize in opera and vocal performance that they would both be able to open their mouths wide and really just go for it, but I ended up being the double stuff champ....who knew....(let's be honest...I did....if there is one thing that I have learned in the two years that I have been away its that I really love sucking dick and sometimes a passion for cock sucking is even better than the most skilled tongue). '

After a few hours of mostly oral, handjobs, and fingering, no one was ponying up to get fucked. I don't think that any of us had really planned on having anal sex that night and none was willing to take a time out to get ready. Eventually I started to get sleepy and I decided enough was enough and one by one, I shoved my finger in an asshole and swirled my tongue around a dick head and watched two giant loads shoot across bare chests. It was really hot and fun, but I was exhausted and it was bed time. I threw each of them a towel and then shimmied myself in between Southern Divo as the littlest spoon and ProfAK as the big spoon, still hard, but not wanting to let my horniness subside. I figured the minute I came I would instantly regret the almost threesome and I didn't want to ruin the moment.

We all fell asleep within minutes and did not wake up until my phone buzzed with a text message from one of the programs I am in charge of to let me know that one of my patients was brought to the ED. I hopped out of bed, read the text message and as I was crawling back in between the two men in my bed I realized that ProfAK was up and horny. I think having recently come out, this was probably the first all male threesome he had ever experienced and was still raring to go from the night before. I placated him, making out with him and giving him a handjob before ultimately shoving my middle finger up his ass, finding his prostate and gently tapping it until he shot a second load all over himself.

While he was in the bathroom cleaning up Southern Divo woke up and thanked me for the night before...he also thanked me for taking care of his professor this morning without him because "I'm not really into him and I'm afraid he thinks that I am going to want something."


********************************************SFW*********************************
Around 10:30a we all started to wake up again to the warnings about the snowfall. While I have a car and don't mind driving in the city I decided that I would rather not drive in the snow to brunch especially since I really wanted a bloody mary. Both Southern Divo and ProfAK went back to Southern Divo's place to get ready and come back to my place to uber to brunch.

SATURDAY
Brunch was largely uneventful and I found myself reveling in the talk of two true opera nerds. The ease with which the professor and his student were able to talk about famous directors, companies, schools, and pieces made me feel like I was in the inner circle and the inner theater kid in me was thrilled! I really do miss performing and every once in  while its fun to think about how differently my life would have been if I had pursued musical theater instead of nursing.....but I digress.

My plan for Saturday quickly changed as more and more snow started falling down. Instead of going out to a straight bar and meeting up with one of the nurses I work, I became more and more focused on a guy who started to booty call me around 7p.

Normally, anyone who would booty call me around 7p would automatically be out...for you to be so desperate and so needed so early in the night there would have to be something seriously wrong with you and I just don't need anything else seriously wrong with my life. But, something about the mounting snow Saturday evening somehow made a 7p booty call acceptable.

Then when the guy finally showed up I remembered why I had been so negligent in replying to him the week after Christmas.....his voice was a huge turn off. I know that is a really superficial and bitchy thing to say, but it is the truth. Via text this guy is wicked hot. He is kind of cocky, really aggressive, and has a somewhat expansive vocabulary. In person this guy has not only an effeminate voice, but a really really gay inflection. Now I really don't have a problem with a gay inflection at all...I have dated guys with more than just a lilt to their voice, but they never tried to Dom me. The idea that a Dom Top would have the voice of Beverly Leslie from Will and Grace.

It's a travesty really. Otherwise the guy is pretty hot....not in the traditional rippling muscles sense, but he has a swagger. Ultimately about 5 minutes into sucking his dick I got cold and bored and decided that maybe we should just cuddle and watch a crappy movie instead. Luckily, this guy is on the girthier side and an eater and I had lamb, a roast, and risotto in my fridge to appease him.

We ended up watching this terrible movie on Netflix called Maximum Ride and then simply going to sleep. Sunday morning I woke up again to a text message from my caregivers about one of the patients who was not feeling great in the snow. I responded and promptly ignored Beverly Leslie's pleas to finally get him off. It wasn't until ten o'clock when Beverly Leslie told me that he had called an Uber and was going home that I finally got out of bed and said goodbye. That will surely be the last time that I invite him over. Get tricked by that voice once or twice that's one thing, but more than four times and then you're just a fucking idiot.

SUNDAY
I had intended to spend this day trolling OkCupid or some other dating app for a date this week, but instead the snow inspired a Betty HomoMaker like experience and I ended up making muffins, and bread, and a delicious hearty beef stew. Some days when I spend the whole day alone just cooking and cleaning I find so much joy in what I do that I become ever more ok with being alone forever. I'm not sure if that is a good thing or a bad thing really, only just that its a fact.

I guess the one thing that I am going to take away from this birthday weekend is that going into 27 I am going to take a play out of a television show called Being Mary Jane, everyone in my phone is getting a nick name. Just like I give guys nick names on my blog I am going to start naming them in my phone that way so I don't forget who they are and what I like or don't like about them. Seems silly, but I am hoping that it will help prevent some PLCs like Beverly Leslie from happening again.

Well until next time.

Tchau!!!

PTown PLCs 2014....

This is a few months late for a lot of reasons but primarily because my life has been in flux. I started a new job and I have gotten another advanced nursing certification...so like I have said before, I'm sorry I've been super busy.

I go to Ptown for my old job about three times a year to test people. This year I actually got to have some days off while I was there and in typical fashion I made some PLCs. Nothing terrible but enough to remind me that I am still a young gay man.

Prior to going down for the second time this summer for what is known in the PTown world as Carnival. I had been talking to a guy on OkC who we will call Prof. He was a little bit older and a physics professor at Tufts....in the building right near my apartment coincidentally enough. We hadn't me in person but we each were going to be in PTown for Carnival so I was told to say hi if I saw him. 

Well don't you know that the very first night I am there I decided to go out alone because I had the night off and the nurses doing the clinics volunteered to drive my drunk ass home. While I was out dancing and drinking and just enjoying being in PTown and not working from across the dance floor I spotted Prof. He was dancing shirtless in a group of people who I assumed were his friends. Luckily, I had already been drinking for several hours and thought it was the perfect time to go say hello. I interjected myself right into his friend group and started dancing with him. It took a few minutes for him to recognize my face, but the minute he did his tongue was in my mouth. 

That is the funny thing about PTown...a lot of the normal little courtesies that occur between gay men in the traditionally hetero culture totally melt away. It is completely acceptable for a greeting at 12a in PTown between two acquaintances to be hardcore making out and shirtless groping. No one even bats an eye. Quite frankly it would be more out of place if you tried to shake someone's hand and offered to buy them a drink. 

I digress....we continued making out and dancing until the bar closed at 2a and it was time for everyone, by everyone I mean any gay man who is breathing and drunk in PTown during Carnival, to head to Spiritus for some of the world's crappiest/best drunk pizza and the closest thing to old school cruising this generation of gays is likely to ever know. 

While waiting in line he was all over me. I was drunk and thought the whole thing was pretty fun. You have to remember I had just recently been told "you're great, but not great for me" from a guy who I sort of actually had a thing for at the time. 

***********************NSFW*************************

One thing led to another and in my typical fashion I made a small PLC. Prof led me to the side of the pizza building and kept making out and groping me like a bear mauling a tent with hamburgers in it. At one point he started trying to blow me right on the street underneath a street lamp. 

I was appalled at such exhibitionism of course and from the guys who were catcalling us both. Being the PTown vet that I am, I brought him around back of the pizza place between the driveway of the abutting house and the exit to the kitchen where there is a convenient enclosed area perfect for hooking up. At this point I let him have at my dick and was honestly disappointed at his dick sucking abilities given how eager he was to get my cock in his mouth. It was after a few minutes of what I can only classify as mediocre head that I decided to rock his world. I blew him for maybe 3 minutes....long enough to prove my skills, and then I zipped him back up. 

I love the moment after I have teased someone with an amazing blowjob where they are both fascinated that your mouth was able to do that to them and totally despondent that you have stopped. Does that make me weird? Probably, but what are you going to do. 

*************************SFW*********************

At this point we traded numbers with the promise to get together once more before leaving and to see each other when we returned to normal life outside of the PTown haze that so many gay men experience. I headed back to the nurses who rushed me home totally bemused by my drunken state. One of them had actually seen me on outreach making out in front of the pizza place so there were several questions regarding the mystery man. I'm a pretty open book so I shared the details and everyone was amused and excited to see what would happen on my next day out alone. 

When I went out the next night I thought I would play it safe and see if I could maybe find the Prof and his friends again. However, when I was at the first bar and noticed the Prof making out with another one of his friends I quickly let that idea go as I didn't want to push something that would screw up his vacation...I mean there are plenty of men to dance and make out with in PTown, why recycle if you don't have to?

Before I knew it one of the guys dancing on one of the stages was leaning down and asking me my name. Then as soon as I had responded he jumped down and introduced himself as a Major in the US Army, hence his name Major. My face must have looked skeptical because he was quickly pulling out his wallet to prove his rank to me. I laughed and he offered to buy me a drink and then we ended up chatting for 3 hours outside on the patio. When I had finished my second or third drink he asked about where I was staying. I explained the living arrangement in PTown with the other nurses for work and how this was my night off. As soon as the words "my night off" escaped my mouth he must have seen his opening because he immediately wanted to show me the place he was staying. 

I knew I had another few hours to kill before I turned into a pumpkin and would have to head back with the other nurses to the house so I conceded a visit to his place knowing full well where this all was going. His place was one of the house right on Commercial St. though? I mean that is like a PTown privilege to be invited in for something other than an orgy. 

 **********************NSFW************************
One thing led to another and we were hooking up in the house overlooking Commercial....a first for me for sure. Before my pants were even off I looked him in the eye and demanded that condoms be used. I'm always surprised when guys attempt to do anything with me sans condom. I mean, for motherfucking sake.....I am an HIV nurse.....seriously. The sex was appalling. He was going at it as if he had never been in an asshole before and he used a studded condom no less. 

Just an aside.....As a gay man....I FUCKING HATE studded condoms. No amount of lube in the entire world can make all those little rubber balls of plastic feel good in my asshole. There is no added stimulation from my prostate, there are only all these micro tears. If I were a woman and got some kind of added clittoral stimulation I would get it but nothing about added plastic going into your ass feels good. As someone who is completely versatile I make an effort when I top to use condoms that are going to feel good for me and not hurt the person I'm fucking. When I bottom I would only hope that the top showed the same amount of courtesy. 

After fucking for a few minutes the guy got close and pulled out and wanted to wait to fuck more. I decided that his cock, his studded condom, and his less than stellar moves as a top did not deserve anymore of my asshole than he had already gotten and went immediately to finish him off with my mouth. Within minutes that guy was ready to cum and blew all over his chest. I was satisfied I had done a good job. He then wanted to make sure that I got off and went to try and finger me and suck me off, but I was again unimpressed with his oral skills and decided that it wasn't 100% necessary that I cum. We showered and then just were hanging out and talking. One of his vacation buddies came home and started chatting with us too. 

*************************SFW*********************
It didn't occur to me how old one would have to be to actually be a major in the army until Major's vacation buddy showed up with completely grey hair. The guy was still very physically attractive, but in a definite silver fox way. It was then about time for drunk pizza and all three of us headed over to Spiritus. I met all of their friends who were all much older and had various really important jobs. All were super nice and insisted on seeing me later or buying me drunk food. Then as we were waiting in line I finally took at one of their watches and noticed that it was almost 1:30a...which meant my chariot awaited and my glass slippers were about to disappear once again. I kissed Major goodbye and headed on my way to meet the nurses. 

I suppose that's one of the funny things about PTown PLCs. They never really seem like PLCs. I mean obviously having sex with Major was a PLC and so was sucking off Prof behind the pizza place. But I had fun, I was safe, and I don't regret either thing. So there's that. I still blame both things on my lack of an appropriate love life here in Boston though....it just makes the situation easier in my mind. 

I worked throughout the rest of the week. However I did find time to meet the Prof for a beach date. It was really cute. I was going to head to the clinic after spending the day tanning on the beach and he decided to meet me for a few hours. We talked about books, life, sex, pretty much everything right on the beach and he once again showed his exhibitionist side. Luckily, I was completely sober this time and I was able to keep it in check, but he was definitely into PDA. I kept getting kissed and straddled and hugged. Prof is significantly bigger than me and was able to pin me down with relative ease. 

Now Prof is obviously a physics professor and is super smart, but he is also British and went to Oxford for undergrad and has a degree in philosophy as well. The man is super smart and super cute and super kinky. He seemed wonderful. However there is always this question whenever you meet anyone in PTown as to whether it is a temporary thing because of the situation or if in the real world things click too....That is going to be the next post....so keep your eyes peeled. 

In the mean time....

Chau!!

A Spring Renewal Post

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50 Posts and Still As Single As Ever!

Here we are at post 50 of this blog experiment and I am still as single as the day that I first started it. I have still never had anyone that I would consider a boyfriend. Still not a single soul that I would even introduce to my brother never mind my mother or father. I'm not sure if I am more disappointed in myself for not being able to sustain any semblance of an adult romantic relationship or if I am more disappointed in the absolute lack of any type of normal man that I would want to be in a romantic relationship with at this point in my life.

Yesterday was National Coming Out Day October 11th. I went out with one of my really good friends to dinner in the South End and then to a bar called Jose McIntyre's in downtown Boston. Dinner in the South End is always fun because the restaurants tend to be fairly well priced with excellent food and drinks and of course a friendly gay atmosphere. This night was no different as we went to Masa and had a grand old time. Then we headed out to Jose McIntyre's for a BC Law get together. I was assured that there would be a ton of eligible future lawyers and I figured What The Hell....

When we got to Jose's we didn't pay a cover at all and headed right up stairs where the DJ was already playing a great set and we both got drinks and just started schmoozing. As I was being introduced to friend group after friend group a few things became very apparent. One was that my friend really is super nice and it is impossible not to like her, which meant I had a lot of people to meet. Two was that I was probably the most ethnic person there and I am only half Portuguese. That's sort of a joke but not really, I think maybe there was one black couple there and a few latinos but that was pretty much it. Three was that as each group of friends met me and I was introduced they would ask what I do and when I would say I was an STD nurse. Then they would ask if I was my friend's boyfriend and there was always this awkward pause. You could see it in their face that they were searching for some sort of confirmation that I was gay or straight, because clearly I was not my female friend's State Street working beau.

I may have completely fabricated this in my head, but honestly that is what it felt like and I couldn't quite figure out why. I never like to leave it up in the air though so I would always make a comment or drop something in casual conversation to make sure that they knew I was open about my sexuality. It puzzled me for about 10-15 minutes because from what I could tell there were a lot of available guys on my team throughout the bar. I mean everywhere I turned my gaydar was pinging for one homo or another. Then it dawned on me when one of the girls asked me if I thought she could make out with a boy who was dancing in a circle and moving his hips like Shakira. "Ummm...yea I'm sure you could make out with him the gays love making out with straight girls." The look of horror in the girl's face said it all. The boy who she was so plainly talking about and who was so obviously gay to me was not out. 

At this point I turned to my friend who had been joined by her boyfriend and asked point blank, "What the fuck? Are all of these guys in the closet? Do they have a weekly tea with the White Witch and Mr. Tumnus?" She looked at me and chuckled. I spent the rest of the night Dancing On My Own. And I was actually perfectly happy about it. Once all of my friend's Northeastern friends started to show up I really began just relaxing and having a good time. The drinks were good and cheap, the music was fun, and there was no reason not to have a good time. 

Then the most gorgeous man I have seen in weeks walked onto the dance floor. He was about 6'4" tall, long brown hair (model long, not homeless long), pretty face, amazing body, white (?), and just seemed to be having a genuinely good time with a bunch of his friends. I gawked like any normal gay man, but ultimately went back to dancing with my friends because he was probably straight or in the closet and it just wasn't going to be worth my time. As the hour went by he kept getting closer and closer to me until we were literally back to back. I was a little taken aback by his dancing ability if I am being completely honest for a 6'4" white guy he at least had rhythm. Then he leaned down and just started talking to me. I was shocked. It wasn't about anything in particular, but still I thought it was weird. Then he went to the bathroom and came back and once again muttered something stupid to me about being underneath the air conditioner vent before going back to our dancing back to back position. 

At this point my friend's boyfriend leaned in and asked me if the guy was hitting on me. I am not going to lie. I hoped so. He was gorgeous. I thought maybe this is it. The one truly gorgeous man in the bar on National Coming Out Day..wouldn't that be a fucking story....

So my female friend went right up to him and basically just asked, "What's your deal my gay friend likes you?" The response was typical, Sorry if I gave him the wrong impression but I'm straight. I wish I could say I was crushed, but I wasn't. I expected it. I think that may actually be worse, I was not even surprised that the gorgeous attractive man was in no way interested in me. 

The night wore on and eventually it was 12:40 and it was time for me to head home before public transportation completely shut down. I got to the orange line and decided that I would just shut my eyes and wait for the train to show up. Naturally I spent at least 30 minutes waiting for the last orange line train. And when I finally opened my eyes it was because I thought I felt someone touch my leg. And there the creeper, some older black guy, was literally sitting and rubbing my thigh. I can't make this shit up! I moved immediately and threw his hand back at him. "Dude what the fuck keep your hands to yourself." I got on a train car and then the guy got on the same one. He literally followed me. Thank God when I got back to Sullivan I was able to get on a bus away from him and head home in peace. 

I came to two conclusions last night. 

One: I may not have someone in my life that I would want to have a romantic relationship with, but really that's okay. I do not want to settle for someone that is not right. I refuse to just be in a relationship to be in a relationship even if it means that I am going to the bar alone and dancing in a group full of couples for the next 10 years. Well....maybe not 10 years I don't want to be that creepy dude at the bar dancing far beyond his expiration date. 

Two: Even if nothing else....at least I'm Out. I never realized how important that really is to me. I've never really thought about the whole being open about your sexuality thing. I've been out for so long and I really am so comfortable talking about it with anyone that I forget that for a lot of people it is not just that simple. The concept of being in the closet and faking a relationship with a girl or faking not finding the right one when they may be sitting in front of you but the same sex so you never let yourself like them is just crazy to me. So even if I end up alone at least I won't be worried its because I never gave it a shot it will be because my perfect other half doesn't exist. 

The only thing that gives me the slightest bit of hope is a sentence that came from the most unsuspecting place last week. My boss is an older female nursing professor who has devoted her life to working with vulnerable populations and teaching students how to take care of them. She is married and has two adopted children and, in a nutshell, she is everything I want to be when I grow up. To get to my point though, while we were working at a clinic in PTown we were discussing future life plans because my nursing counterpart is pregnant and my boss looked at me and said, "Welll you're going to have kids one day so you'll see. I mean you are planning on having kids right? I mean I just always picture you with kids." I was totally taken aback because it just seemed like it came out of no where but it was nice. The nurse whose gut instinct I most trust thinks in her heart of hearts that I am going to end up married with kids. Its not a lot, but its enough hope to get me to keep this blog going until I finally find someone.

Until Next Time....
Chau!!!

I Totally Forgot the Worst Part!

And I totally forgot the worst part....

I have professed on this blog before that I NEVER get hickeys. The one guy who was every able to give me a hickey was actually trying and it only lasted for a day...max....But after my rendezvous the other night I woke up to this. Its hard to tell in the photo, but it is two bite marks on my neck...Like I was bitten by one of the True Blood Vampires....

That's right the 5'4" Top Only Asian Harvard Architecture student managed to leave two bite marks in the shape of his actual teeth on my neck for three days. I have NO idea how that happened. I don't even really remember him sucking on my neck or a time when he bit me. The worst part is I wasn't even drinking so you would think that if someone bit me hard enough to leave to marks that I would at least have a recollection of the incident but honest to God...I don't remember a damn thing...

Oh well... Now I really think that's it....
Chau!

S/P PTown

Its been a week since I got back from PTown and I still have not reported on the goings on yet....so here goes nothing I guess... 

The very first night I ended up spending all alone in this giant Brady Bunch style house waiting for all of my coworkers to arrive.....Wait I don't think I explained this yet....So its like a working vacation. A group of the nurses I work with, along with support staff, phlebotomists, registration, and other, all venture down to PTown rent a house and do free STD/HIV testing for a week. Its a little like Scrubs meets the Real World but televised on Logo if that even makes sense. I digress...so I am the first one in the house and instead of going out and being crazy I decided to take it easy. I got dinner but then I just went home and read...How boring I know, but exactly what I needed  before the week began.

And then it started. We saw a ton of patients throughout the course of 5 days....there were probably only one or two that I was actually attracted to and they weren't my patients so it actually worked out rather nicely for me, I got to look and not feel guilty for checking out my patient. 

We always do a big clinic on the day of the Fourth of July. This year was no different. An organization we work with usually gets together a group of attractive guys to try and find us patients clad in very little clothing. Again this year was no different. What was different is one of the outreach workers kept hitting on me. He was probably 6 feet tall, muscular, very hairy, very blue collar, wearing a blue bandana on his head and let's just say his speedo-runneth-over. 

The first time he made a comment about me I totally ignored it. I figured it was all in good fun since it was in front of a group of the outreach workers, no harm no foul. Then he made another comment as he was walking by me almost under his breath. It was at that point I thought he might actually be serious. After the clinic we all, nurses and outreach workers went out to dinner together. I purposely sat at the opposite end of the table as the outreach workers surrounded by fellow nurses. Throughout the course of dinner several of the nurses chided me about being bitchy due to my lack of action lately and I chided back that we couldn't all be lucky enough to be married and get it regularly. Then as dinner was coming to a close one of the other nurses really wanted me to go out with her and meet her cousin. Seeing as I was still in scrubs and it was Ptown I thought this probably wasn't the best idea....I mean who goes out in scrubs in Ptown. 

Cut to me a few shots later being goaded by my boss and the other nurses and the outreach workers to go out for just one drink. Eventually I broke down and agreed and who of course was right by my side the minute I made the decision to go out but the burly outreach worker....let's call him Trailer Pump (I'll explain later). The few of us made our way to the Crown and Anchor where of course the Trailer Pump began pretty aggressively making moves and I can't say I was hating it....it was also here that I began to see the familiar pattern reemerge. 

Trailer Pump didn't have anything to drink at the bar because he was in recovery. From what you ask??? So did I and I give you the same answer I got.....EVERYTHING! Great!! However, on the bright side, I was invited along with another nurse to go along with Trailer Pump to visit four of his sponsees at one of the other places. He had sponsees, not just one but several.....that must mean that he is solid in his recovery from everything....right??? That's what I thought too. 

At some point we ended up back at his place, a trailer in the campground right next to the house we rent, for a fire. When we arrived I was still having pretty mixed feelings about the whole situation...he was an outreach worker with a substance abuse history, but he was clean, had sponsors, and there was just something about him.....Then he started building the fire....I mean literally tearing pieces of wood apart with his bare hands completely shirtless....he could have come straight out of some old gay porn....It was hot! I couldn't deny it. 

So we made our way inside the trailer and that's when I saw to the right of the bed the giant pump bottle of lube. That's right the Costco size bottle of lube! Talk about a RED FUCKING FLAG! It was at that point that I started laying down the ground rules. "WE are NOT HAVING SEX! Just not going to happen we can fool around, but we have to work together tomorrow and you have a giant pump bottle of lube so its just not happening." He nodded his head as he understood. 

***********************************NSFW****************************************

Then almost on cue he smiled and laughed and said....well let me show you the bathing suit I am wearing tomorrow then. That's when I got the full show. The BIGGEST shock...the speedo that runneth over was the result of a pretty tight cockring not an enormous cock. I should have known better. Things continued on...we fooled around a bit he got really into rimming me despite the fact that I told him I was not going to reciprocate the favor, "I fucking don't care I love the way it tastes"....I'm telling you there is something about a man's man who is just that aggressive that really does it for me every once and a while. 

After an hour or so of fooling around I decided I needed to speed things along so I began pulling out some of my tricks and ultimately just ended up asking him what I could do to hasten the situation....and then I got the other really fun answer of the night...."Well if I can't fuck you can I fuck your thighs?"

I was dumbfounded....no one had ever asked me to do that before.....EVER! It gives a whole new meaning to the phrase there is a lot you can do without going all the way. I played soccer for years so I would say I have pretty strong thighs and he was really into it. So he laid down a towel, lubed up my thighs, and just had at it. It lasted all of about 2 minutes and that is being generous....then he came all over my inner thighs. He then flipped me over and began licking them like they were the best thing he'd ever tasted. Who knew? He went out for a cigarette and insisted he would finish me when he got back in. Then he put on a my scrubs which barely fit him and headed outside (sort of looked like this). I really do think he had some kind of a nurse fetish...but besides that he came back in and was true to his word about finishing me off.

**********************************SFW*****************************************

Laying in a pose, with a similar amount of body hair, similar to the famous photo of Burt Reynold's in People, the post-orgasm pillow talk that every guy I hook up with seems to be so fond of began. He started talking about his ex-boyfriend and his life in St. Louis. The more he talked the happier I became that I had insisted we didn't have sex. This guy had quite the life and definitely brought with him enough baggage to sink the Titanic. That being said there was something sweet about him and trusting me to know all this stuff....I feel like no matter what is going on in my life things always come back to me being a nurse....I wish that would stop sometimes. I mean not all the time, I just wish I got a break every once in a great blue moon from that. 

Eventually I got the guy to bring me back to the house as everyone else was already home at this point and I was going to need some rest for the clinic the next day. I slept and a few of the other nurses who had gone out with us and left me with Trailer Pump asked how things went. I informed them that nothing much had happened and we moved on with our day and headed to clinic. 

When Trailer Pump arrived I got one of the most confused greetings I have ever received in my entire life. He hugged me and went in for a kiss, which I of course cheeked as I was at work and didn't really think that was appropriate especially from an outreach worker I had really just met the previous day. As the day progressed I was swamped with patients and Trailer Pump was clearly unhappy that I was not paying him the attention that I was paying to my patients and then all of a sudden he was gone. I didn't see where he went and I have no idea what happened. All I know is one of the other nurses thinks that they saw him and he appeared to be rather high....I'm hoping that this isn't the case....I feel like if the guy was going to relapse he was going to do it whether or not I paid him any attention....right?? At least that is what I am telling myself. 

The rest of the trip went off without a hitch. I spent some time at the beach. I had brunch and went shopping with a few of the nurses and just generally enjoyed the atmosphere of Commercial St. during the day and chose to ignore the debuacherous ambience that tends to accompany the moonlight hours on Commercial.

All in all it was a pretty fun trip. I had just enough fun to tide me over for a little while and made arguably no PLCs.....Not bad....

I guess until next time!

Chau!

Once a Gay Starter Kit Always a Gay Starter Kit....

I went on another date with the Harvard Gaymer last Thursday. It was actually super cute! We went to Davis Square to the old theater there to see a movie at like 4 in the afternoon. The tickets were cheap and the popcorn was covered in butter and the theater is just awesome, old and pretty.

So we decided to go and see Evil Dead. We were literally the only two people in the ENTIRE theater. So naturally we sat right in the middle with our feet up. He wrapped his arm around me in a very 80's Rom Com sort of a move and then just pulled me in to be lying with him as the movie progressed. It was really sweet. Naturally it made me a little uncomfortable to be this relationshippy so I kissed him. And then I kept kissing him. And then I continued to kiss him. And before I knew it we were making out while the Evil Dead was unfolding in the background. 

After a little while hands began to wander and so did other parts of our body. Rather than go into too much detail, let me just say that it was probably a really good thing that we were the only people in the movie theater. Let me also say that for the second time in my life I had now both given and received blowjobs while some sort of horror film or TV show was going on in the background. Its really like Halloween is my spirit sex animal or something. I digress, after a few minutes of really inappropriate action in a movie theater I realized what was happening and insisted it stop. We went back to just sitting intimately close to each other, or as intimately close as one can get with a giant arm rest and cup holder in between two people.

The movie proceeded without any further action between the two of us and quite frankly without much action in the film either. The movie sort of sucked....which was okay because so did the Gaymer, but I would not recommend spending my money to go and see it.

After the movie we ended up just walking and chatting in the rain around Davis Square. Again it was very cute and very much like a relationship. He held an umbrella and insisted I walk under it. We grabbed some coffee and just chatted about our lives. 

During our talk he began telling me about his summer plans. He also informed me that he finally came out to his sister. Now this is a big deal for a couple reasons. One, when I first went on a date with the Harvard Gaymer he was pretty insistent that he was bisexual. Two, Harvard Gaymer is originally from outside of Atlanta and is black. Both of these things are fascinating to me because before he met me he didn't intend to do any of these things. So it appears that once again I am helping someone find themselves and slowly but surely become more comfortable with their sexuality. 

GREAT!! AWESOME!! FUCKING BRILLIANT!!!

I know that all seems a bit much, but it really is becoming ridiculous. I think its great that I make people feel comfortable. I think its amazing that I can help people in this way. BUT, every once in a while I would love to go on a date with a guy who was just gay and okay with it already. Someone who was out and was going to go home and tell their mother about the nice date they had with a guy. Maybe my head is just too far in the clouds on this one. Maybe I am just ahead of the curve in terms of being out and okay with it and looking for a relationship with guys my own age. Maybe the solution is to date someone older....although that hasn't really worked out in the past either. I wish there was just some magical place that all of the out normal gay people hung out at so that I could flirt with someone who had been on a date with a man before in their life. 

Back to the date though. So waiting for the bus all of the information about his summer plans come out and I listen contentedly. He never directly mentions talking to me throughout the summer, but the way he is talking I can tell that it is definitely implied. 

We took the bus back to Harvard where I was once again invited up to his room and I of course accepted my invitation. We started making out and the roommate who is clearly in love with him walked in and just sort of storm passed us.....OoOOOOoooOOoops....

Then we began to play a silly little game. I honestly think it is one of those games that is just a fun way to get stuff going. I want you to...One person finishes that sentence and then after the task is completed the next person makes the statement with their own ending. And it goes back and forth until you completely forget that there is a game involved at all. I prefaced this game with "Now given the fact that you're a virgin....you can't say have sex....we are NOT having sex." He didn't seem totally bothered by me saying this but he didn't really seem relieved either. 

**************************************NSFW**************************************

The game started with some pretty simple foreplay lick my nipple, suck my finger, and take off your pants. Then it led to a little bit more heavy petting and some oral action. And then it went somewhere I was not really expecting at all. He said, "I want to tie you up and blindfold you." I thought about it for a moment. I think I actually laughed and he looked at me dead in the yes and said, "No I'm serious" Laughing the whole time I consented and ended up having to show him how to use his scarf to tie my arms to the bed post. I easily could have shimmied out if I wanted to but I thought that I might as well let him have his fun. He played with me and himself while I was blindfolded and when he finally took the blindfold off he had a raging erection. 

Given the turn in nature that the game had taken I decided to give him a taste of his own medicine. As soon as the blindfold went over his eyes he began oozing precum like a faucet. The Harvard Gaymer has a secret kinky side and I can't say that I totally hate it. He looked damn good tied to his bed. His abs have gotten considerably more defined in the weeks since our last date and his cock was so hard that it was just a pretty sight. After teasing him for a bit he decided that he wanted to tie me up again. I obliged. This time though he whispered in my ear that he would be back...the guy left me tied to his bed while he went to pee and come back. I've got to tell you for a minute I was a little worried and contemplated pulling my hand out of the scarves and just laying their untied, but I realized that this must be some sort of fantasy for him so I just chilled. He covered me with his blanket when he left and when he came back and uncovered me I could tell he was REALLY turned on by the thought that I had just been waiting for him in his room tied up. 

Then after another 15 minutes or so he wanted to be tied up again and I was definitely into it so we switched roles. This time I took it to the next level though and tied his legs, arms, and blindfolded him. He was dripping without me even having to touch him. Then after a few minutes of teasing he told me that he wanted me to ejaculate on his penis. At this point I literally thought, "Well, what the fuck...might as well....we've come this far already." So I obliged and shot a pretty decent load if I do say so myself and the kid just started jacking himself off with it. I removed the blindfold and his arm ties so that he could and he just kept working away at it. After a while I think he just gave up on cumming right then and there and decided to just get dressed and walk me to the bus so I could go home. It was funny he didn't even wipe my cum off of him. Most of it he had rubbed into his dick and the rest had dried, white crusty stains on his brown skin. It was sort of hot. BUT Anyway.....

***************************************SFW**************************************

Once we were both dressed we started walking toward the bus stop. He threw his arm around me and pulled me in close to his body and insisted that we walk that way to the bus stop. It was nice. I really think he liked the idea of having a guy. As he was pulling me into himself he was waving at people who were walking by that he knew. It was nice to see that he was sort of coming into his own as a guy who could be on a date with another guy. As we approached the bus stop I watched as the last bus of the night sped past me without even stopping. It was at that point that he accompanied me back to CVS to grab some late night snacks before I hailed a cab and headed home. 

While we were in CVS amongst all of the drunk Harvard students enjoying one of their last reading days before their finals began he started to ask about when we would talk again. I told him soon and he seemed happy with that and then I think it dawned on him that he was going to be leaving for the summer. So I told him that is why they invented skype and I would definitely keep talking to him if he was definitely interested. 

There is something about him that I really like. He is nice and kind and smart. He is wicked smart and one of the few guys I have ever dated who can actually give me a true run for my money in terms of intelligence which I really like. He can go pun for pun and understand jokes about Calvinism and binary and I just haven't found that yet. HOWEVER, I think that we may just end up being friend who occasionally fool around. When we were on the date even though it was super cute I just kept thinking that he was more into me than I was into him. And then I would feel bad. Its not that I don't like him, its just that it takes me a long time to get to the point where I really like someone a lot. 

The other thing is that there is something just a little off about the sexual chemistry. Harvard Gaymer insists that he will be a top, but I am almost certain he is a bottom. His body language, demeanor, and personality all denote someone who is more of a bossy bottom. At one point I wanted to start singing...

He almost got offended when I said it but once I explain why I think he agreed to. And believe me there is nothing wrong with being a bottom, the problem for me is that I need someone who truly is okay with switching or is such a top or such a bottom that I would never want to switch. 

As of right now the Harvard Gaymer and I are still texting. We are still playing Words with Friends too actually. I guess we shall see where the summer takes this, but until I get a definitive gut feeling about him one way or another I'm not going to limit my dating options. 

We shall see.....

Chau!!!