Once a Gay Starter Kit Always a Gay Starter Kit....

I went on another date with the Harvard Gaymer last Thursday. It was actually super cute! We went to Davis Square to the old theater there to see a movie at like 4 in the afternoon. The tickets were cheap and the popcorn was covered in butter and the theater is just awesome, old and pretty.

So we decided to go and see Evil Dead. We were literally the only two people in the ENTIRE theater. So naturally we sat right in the middle with our feet up. He wrapped his arm around me in a very 80's Rom Com sort of a move and then just pulled me in to be lying with him as the movie progressed. It was really sweet. Naturally it made me a little uncomfortable to be this relationshippy so I kissed him. And then I kept kissing him. And then I continued to kiss him. And before I knew it we were making out while the Evil Dead was unfolding in the background. 

After a little while hands began to wander and so did other parts of our body. Rather than go into too much detail, let me just say that it was probably a really good thing that we were the only people in the movie theater. Let me also say that for the second time in my life I had now both given and received blowjobs while some sort of horror film or TV show was going on in the background. Its really like Halloween is my spirit sex animal or something. I digress, after a few minutes of really inappropriate action in a movie theater I realized what was happening and insisted it stop. We went back to just sitting intimately close to each other, or as intimately close as one can get with a giant arm rest and cup holder in between two people.

The movie proceeded without any further action between the two of us and quite frankly without much action in the film either. The movie sort of sucked....which was okay because so did the Gaymer, but I would not recommend spending my money to go and see it.

After the movie we ended up just walking and chatting in the rain around Davis Square. Again it was very cute and very much like a relationship. He held an umbrella and insisted I walk under it. We grabbed some coffee and just chatted about our lives. 

During our talk he began telling me about his summer plans. He also informed me that he finally came out to his sister. Now this is a big deal for a couple reasons. One, when I first went on a date with the Harvard Gaymer he was pretty insistent that he was bisexual. Two, Harvard Gaymer is originally from outside of Atlanta and is black. Both of these things are fascinating to me because before he met me he didn't intend to do any of these things. So it appears that once again I am helping someone find themselves and slowly but surely become more comfortable with their sexuality. 

GREAT!! AWESOME!! FUCKING BRILLIANT!!!

I know that all seems a bit much, but it really is becoming ridiculous. I think its great that I make people feel comfortable. I think its amazing that I can help people in this way. BUT, every once in a while I would love to go on a date with a guy who was just gay and okay with it already. Someone who was out and was going to go home and tell their mother about the nice date they had with a guy. Maybe my head is just too far in the clouds on this one. Maybe I am just ahead of the curve in terms of being out and okay with it and looking for a relationship with guys my own age. Maybe the solution is to date someone older....although that hasn't really worked out in the past either. I wish there was just some magical place that all of the out normal gay people hung out at so that I could flirt with someone who had been on a date with a man before in their life. 

Back to the date though. So waiting for the bus all of the information about his summer plans come out and I listen contentedly. He never directly mentions talking to me throughout the summer, but the way he is talking I can tell that it is definitely implied. 

We took the bus back to Harvard where I was once again invited up to his room and I of course accepted my invitation. We started making out and the roommate who is clearly in love with him walked in and just sort of storm passed us.....OoOOOOoooOOoops....

Then we began to play a silly little game. I honestly think it is one of those games that is just a fun way to get stuff going. I want you to...One person finishes that sentence and then after the task is completed the next person makes the statement with their own ending. And it goes back and forth until you completely forget that there is a game involved at all. I prefaced this game with "Now given the fact that you're a virgin....you can't say have sex....we are NOT having sex." He didn't seem totally bothered by me saying this but he didn't really seem relieved either. 

**************************************NSFW**************************************

The game started with some pretty simple foreplay lick my nipple, suck my finger, and take off your pants. Then it led to a little bit more heavy petting and some oral action. And then it went somewhere I was not really expecting at all. He said, "I want to tie you up and blindfold you." I thought about it for a moment. I think I actually laughed and he looked at me dead in the yes and said, "No I'm serious" Laughing the whole time I consented and ended up having to show him how to use his scarf to tie my arms to the bed post. I easily could have shimmied out if I wanted to but I thought that I might as well let him have his fun. He played with me and himself while I was blindfolded and when he finally took the blindfold off he had a raging erection. 

Given the turn in nature that the game had taken I decided to give him a taste of his own medicine. As soon as the blindfold went over his eyes he began oozing precum like a faucet. The Harvard Gaymer has a secret kinky side and I can't say that I totally hate it. He looked damn good tied to his bed. His abs have gotten considerably more defined in the weeks since our last date and his cock was so hard that it was just a pretty sight. After teasing him for a bit he decided that he wanted to tie me up again. I obliged. This time though he whispered in my ear that he would be back...the guy left me tied to his bed while he went to pee and come back. I've got to tell you for a minute I was a little worried and contemplated pulling my hand out of the scarves and just laying their untied, but I realized that this must be some sort of fantasy for him so I just chilled. He covered me with his blanket when he left and when he came back and uncovered me I could tell he was REALLY turned on by the thought that I had just been waiting for him in his room tied up. 

Then after another 15 minutes or so he wanted to be tied up again and I was definitely into it so we switched roles. This time I took it to the next level though and tied his legs, arms, and blindfolded him. He was dripping without me even having to touch him. Then after a few minutes of teasing he told me that he wanted me to ejaculate on his penis. At this point I literally thought, "Well, what the fuck...might as well....we've come this far already." So I obliged and shot a pretty decent load if I do say so myself and the kid just started jacking himself off with it. I removed the blindfold and his arm ties so that he could and he just kept working away at it. After a while I think he just gave up on cumming right then and there and decided to just get dressed and walk me to the bus so I could go home. It was funny he didn't even wipe my cum off of him. Most of it he had rubbed into his dick and the rest had dried, white crusty stains on his brown skin. It was sort of hot. BUT Anyway.....

***************************************SFW**************************************

Once we were both dressed we started walking toward the bus stop. He threw his arm around me and pulled me in close to his body and insisted that we walk that way to the bus stop. It was nice. I really think he liked the idea of having a guy. As he was pulling me into himself he was waving at people who were walking by that he knew. It was nice to see that he was sort of coming into his own as a guy who could be on a date with another guy. As we approached the bus stop I watched as the last bus of the night sped past me without even stopping. It was at that point that he accompanied me back to CVS to grab some late night snacks before I hailed a cab and headed home. 

While we were in CVS amongst all of the drunk Harvard students enjoying one of their last reading days before their finals began he started to ask about when we would talk again. I told him soon and he seemed happy with that and then I think it dawned on him that he was going to be leaving for the summer. So I told him that is why they invented skype and I would definitely keep talking to him if he was definitely interested. 

There is something about him that I really like. He is nice and kind and smart. He is wicked smart and one of the few guys I have ever dated who can actually give me a true run for my money in terms of intelligence which I really like. He can go pun for pun and understand jokes about Calvinism and binary and I just haven't found that yet. HOWEVER, I think that we may just end up being friend who occasionally fool around. When we were on the date even though it was super cute I just kept thinking that he was more into me than I was into him. And then I would feel bad. Its not that I don't like him, its just that it takes me a long time to get to the point where I really like someone a lot. 

The other thing is that there is something just a little off about the sexual chemistry. Harvard Gaymer insists that he will be a top, but I am almost certain he is a bottom. His body language, demeanor, and personality all denote someone who is more of a bossy bottom. At one point I wanted to start singing...

He almost got offended when I said it but once I explain why I think he agreed to. And believe me there is nothing wrong with being a bottom, the problem for me is that I need someone who truly is okay with switching or is such a top or such a bottom that I would never want to switch. 

As of right now the Harvard Gaymer and I are still texting. We are still playing Words with Friends too actually. I guess we shall see where the summer takes this, but until I get a definitive gut feeling about him one way or another I'm not going to limit my dating options. 

We shall see.....

Chau!!!

Fuck This! I'm Pathetic

So I spent the evening and the night at a special event honoring a bunch of the graduating nurses....I won a two fairly distinguished awards....I was feeling pretty good about myself for once and then it all came back to reality. I went to the trashy last call bar, dressed in what I thought were clothes that made me look attractive and didn't really get hit on at all.

Then just as I was about to leave one of the guys who is usually someone who throws themselves at me when we are at the gay club showed up with Tiny....and rejected me. Yep I basically threw myself at him and he rejected me.

I made some really serious innuendo about giving a decent blowjob and he told me he had heard from someone at the Harvard business school....I don't ever remember blowing someone from there so either nasty rumors are being spread or I am a far bigger mess than I realized.

I ended up leaving the bar alone and sad. I couldn't even get my sure-thing to make out with me. What the Fuck is so wrong with me? Seriously....I mean I get that he is hopelessly in love with Tiny, but come on....

Whatever, I'm drunk and I'm going to bed.

Peace,

Chau!!!

Why Do People Think I'm a Street Worker?

I went in to visit a nurse friend of mine working at the homeless clinic at MGH today. While I was there one of the homeless women was yelling and screaming about something so loudly I didn't really even understand what she wanted so I asked, "What is it Hun? Can I help you with something? What do you need?"

Then the woman without skipping a beat turned to me and said, "Are you a street worker?" I apparently gave her a confused look and she responded again with, "Well it depends are you a street worker or are you on the medical team?"

That's right in the middle of the waiting room for the homeless clinic one of the patients thought I was a hooker. What is my LIFE??? Why does this keep happening to me? Is it something I say or do? Is it the way I walk?? 

Honestly the funniest part of the whole thing is that there were two options: I was either a hooker or a nurse on the medical team. How appropriate, right?

And with that I am off...

Until next time...

Chau!!

Coffee at Harvard....

I've totally forgotten to tell you about my second date with the Harvard Gaymer! There was a lot going on this week with the Copley Bombing....so let's use my dating life as a bit of an escape shall we....

So I went to Cambridge since he came into the city the last time. We met outside of the Newstand right outside of the Harvard T Station and then we walked to go and get coffee from this really cute coffee shop probably around 6pm. As soon as we walked he introduced me to someone in line, who I later found out was one of his best girl friends. The funny thing was as soon as I was introduced and she got a visual on me...we left and went to a different place to get coffee....I feel like it was a set up so she could meet me and either approve or disapprove...whatever I guess I don't really care I've definitely pulled similar stunts.

After we grabbed coffee we just started walking around Cambridge. We walked through the JFK park (which of course earned him major points) and then sat on a bench. After a while the sun started to go down and we both really needed to pee so we headed back to his dorm room. What was interesting is he has a single room despite having a roommate (The roommate lives in the common room...Wicked Smart Harvard kids). 

When we finally got in his dorm room I met his roommate who was definitely gay and definitely into the Harvard Gaymer...I almost felt bad. It was funny to see the way that the roommate just sort of stared at the Harvard Gaymer longingly and hoping that he was the one being led into his bedroom. 

When we got into his room I was SHOCKED! His room was so clean I didn't even know what to do. It literally looked like it could have been photographed for some Harvard brochure....it bordered on being the serial killer type of clean that you only see on shows like Criminal Minds. After he admitted that he cleaned up a bit and his room didn't always look like this we got back to talking. I decided I was going to let him make the first move...unfortunately it just wasn't going to happen. He was too inexperienced to know now was his chance to kiss me so I may have prompted him, "So are you going to make a move or are you going to pussy out?" I'm so eloquent sometimes!

Well he finally made a move and we ended up making out. Then he reminded me that he gives awesome massages so I flipped over and let him rub my back (not bad honestly). And then the clothes started to come off...

                                                                  ****NSFW*****

In all seriousness the Harvard Gaymer has a GREAT body. Its very deceptive. You would think someone who spends most of his time on the computer or doing math would be sort of chubby and white, but he is this fit black guy. His cock isn't bad...big enough with a nice set of balls. The best part of the Gaymer though definitely has to be how appreciative he was to get his dick sucked. He openly admitted he had never had a blowjob where the person didn't scrape him with their teeth never mind a GOOD blowjob. He was pleased to say the least. But true to form I never like to spoil the fun too soon so I dragged it out. Every time I felt him ready to burst I stopped what I was doing. I watched him squirm just a little bit as the feeling of orgasm slowly subsided and then I would start all over again. 

At one point during my teasing session he decided that he needed to pee again so he was going to get completely dressed to go to the bathroom. But I took pity on the lonely roommate and insisted he go out in just basketball shorts (no underwear), no shirt, and his flip flops....I mean the lonely, awkward, white kid needs spank bank material too right? But I digress....

I have no idea how long we fooled around for at all. I ended up getting a decent blowjob from him too...I had to correct a few things in his technique but overall not bad for a novice. After what felt like a really long time we both started to enter the fatigue time....where if your dick isn't being constantly stimulated it quickly starts to deflate. Then finally the Harvard Gaymer exploded with a cum shot worthy of any good porn company. Then it was my turn and after about five minutes I had a cum shot that shot between both our heads....not bad for a second date right?

                                                        ********SFW*************

Now what was funny about the whole time we were hooking up is that my phone just wouldn't stop ringing or binging or buzzing. I ignored it but as soon as we were done I looked at it and found I had two missed calls, 4 text messages, 2 emails, and 3 Facebook notifications. I could not for the life of me figure out why all of these people felt a sudden urge to get into contact with me....then I realized it was 1 am....that's right I went on a 7 hour second date.....That's normal right?

He walked me back to the newsstand so I could get a cab back into the city since the T was already shut down and he kissed me good night. Then he headed to CVS to buy some junk food since neither one of us has eaten dinner....I grabbed something from a 24 hour convenience store near campus....

Honestly it was a great date. We definitely have chemistry, but I think that he might be a little too young. If only he was 2 years older and graduating. He would be more experienced (aka not a virgin), have more of his shit together, and dare I say it definite boyfriend material....I just can't get passed how young he seems....Maybe that's okay for the summer though...Eh who knows....Maybe I should stop over thinking things....

Well until later....

Chau!!

The Harvard Gaymer

Well I am back at it.....I went on a date on Wednesday night with another guy I met off the online dating website. I am determined to find one normal person who I can date regularly.....

Let me begin by describing the guy: Physically he is about 6 feet tall, black, a little bit of scruff, huge hands and really long arms. He is also super smart. He goes to Harvard and is a math and computer science major which is pretty cool, different than me which I always appreciate. He is originally from Atlanta and is actually quite the catch I think. Some other lets not say issues, but complications, he is wicked into gaming (like video and computer games) and he like oh-so-many of the guys I've dated before is not out to his family. Not a huge issue since he is out in Boston and all of his friends at school know he's gay/bi.

Now for details about the date. For the record I'm calling this guy the Harvard Gaymer because he goes to Harvard and is so into the gaming...I think its appropriate.

So where do I begin. When we were trying to figure out when we could meet we ultimately decided that we could get together Wednesday despite my 12 hour long shift working because he would come and meet me in the city so I wouldn't have to head into Cambridge. The fact that he was willing to come and meet me won him major points. Then we settled on coffee at the Starbucks on the corner of Mass Ave and Boylston. I thought this would be perfect because it was walking distance for me and he could just hop on the 1 bus.

What I didn't take into account was that this guy went to Harvard....so super smart, but little to no common sense. About 10 minutes after he was supposed to meet me I decided to text him and figure out where he was. Apparently the green line was running late......Yes that's right this Harvard Gaymer had decided to take the Red Line and then the Green line to a place that was literally right off of the 1 Bus. It was at that point that I decided I would just meet him and we could walk some place closer.....and then just when I thought the directional skills couldn't get any worse....he told me, "Yea I just got off at Copley." Priceless, I know, but I didn't want to judge him to prematurely.

When I finally found him we grabbed coffee and headed back to Northeastern to see one of my friends perform in her acapella group, Pitch, Please! (you can check out videos of them there). I thought it would be a fun first date type of activity and I had already promised my friend I would go. We ended up sitting on the ground and listening for the entire set and then we left.

I could tell that he wanted an invite back to my place, which I was definitely wary of giving. I wasn't wary because I thought I might do something I would regret, but I was just worried about having to show off my atrocious room to someone who I had a good first date with so far. I split the difference and ended up inviting him up to the 16th floor common room of my building so he could check out a real view of the city. We ended up sitting right next to each other on an oversized chair and before I knew it we were kissing.

Great kisser! Just the right amount of playful and aggressive. After making out for probably five minutes we just continue to sit in the chair and talk withn his arms wrapped around me.....it was at this point I realized how big his hands were. I'm not saying this as an innuendo for his dick by the way. I'm talking about this guy's actual hands...they were huge and dwarfed mine in comparison. It was nice to have someone wrap there arms around me and just hold me with such big arms and hands for a change...that hasn't happened for a very long time and I definitely was not unhappy about it happening then.

During the conversations between making out I actually learned a lot about him. The two most important things: 1. He is a virgin for all intents and purposes and 2. He is a HUGE nerd. Most of you are probably judging me and saying that you just assumed these things by the fact that he is a black computer science major at Harvard, but I hold out hope folks....what can I say.... Ways I learned this information....welll he flat out told me the only time he ever had anal sex it lasted for three seconds and then he changed his mind. And then he made an error bars joke while kissing....that's right he made a math joke about kissing what a dweeb....and yet how endearing.....

Eventually after an hour or so of making out and just talking I realized where this night was going and insisted that he go home and not spend the night. I like him, for now at least, and I definitely don't want him to get the wrong impression. So I walked him first to grab something to eat and then to the 1 bus so he could get home.

On the walk to the bus I learned something about him that definitely piques my interest....he is a self-professed former fatty. Those of you who know me know that I have a theory that hasn't been wrong yet. Former fatties and former acne laden teenagers are usually the best in bed. They all are now attractive, but still have the I-Need-To-Make-Up-For-My-Looks-Self-Esteem which makes them a rock star in bed. There is nothing I love hearing more when talking to a really attractive guy that they used to get made fun of in middle school....some people may say....awww and feel bad, but in my head all I can think is JACKPOT!!

But I digress, he got on the bus and I walked home. We've been texting off and on all week and I actually have another date with him tonight, this time on his turf. So I guess I should head home so I can get ready to head out to Cambridge. Wish me luck!

Until next time....

Chau!!

Home and Old Friends

It is Easter weekend and I am home in my little Massachusetts town spending quality time with my friends and my family. And I am constantly bugged by my lack of an actual relationship ever in my life. I have never brought anyone home. I have never introduced a guy I was dating to any of my friends. I have never introduced a guy I was dating to my family. I have never even told my family that I was dating people. Does this make me weird? Is there something wrong with me?

I guess this is all part of what makes me a true commitment-phobe.....because all I really want is a relationship, but whenever I have the opportunity I find some reason why it can't happen. One of my best friends said tonight that I was a Fault Finder. At first I was totally offended and began defending myself and my dating habits. The truth is....he is right.

I am a Fault Finder, a total Fault Finder, but I don't think there is anything I can do about that really. I also question whether or not that is a bad thing. I think being a Fault Finder helps me to avoid a lot of really bad dating situations.

Then the same friend said something about me being pessimistic. But that is something that I just had to vehemently disagree with. I don't think I am pessimistic about love or relationships. I think I am quite the opposite actually. I am completely and totally hopeful that I have a Prince Charming. One day some guy is going to come sweep me off my feet and be perfect. I am going to know immediately that he is the one. There won't be a question. I won't be worried or scared, I will just know. Until that happens I guess I am going to continue to be a Fault Finder, until someone either proves me wrong, or shows up in my life sans faults.

I might be waiting forever.....maybe I will just get a dog.

Well....

Chau!!

Just When you Thought it Couldn't Get Crazier...

So I got a little side tracked the last two weeks because I directed a musical (Yes, Apparently I am that gay...who knew?)

I forgot to tell you all what ended up happening with Hickey. So last we left off I had received a bunch of crazy text messages from him early in the morning. Well I met with him that evening to discuss things. We ended up meeting at his work and walking to a nearby Panera. Well when we got there we both got coffee and then sat down to begin the conversation. 

Basically, Hickey reiterated everything he had said in his texts and I just sat and listened. He was fairly adamant that he had made up his mind that he was going to wait for me. Until I was willing to be his boyfriend. He was just going to wait me out....that was his plan...it was at this point that I realized I needed to do a little reality checking much like I do with my patients at work. 

I looked him in the eye and just said, "Yea but I don't know that is necessarily going to happen. I mean I don't know that you and I are ever necessarily going to be boyfriends." Then he stared at me, the awkward stare he had done so many times before, and we just sat there. Then he looked at me and said ,"So we're through then." 

I didn't know exactly how to respond. I said, "No that's not what I said, I just think that maybe you have different expectations of this than I do. If we keep dating that might the extent of it for me. That's what I'm saying." Then as if I had kicked him under the table, Hickey jumped to his feet and said, "No we're through." 

Then as if it was a fucking movie he just kept repeating that, "No we're through. We're just through. That's it we're through." I tried to redirect him and repeated that "No that's not necessarily what I'm saying either. But it seems like you want it to be through, like maybe you're through." Then his volume increased and he half shouted, "No I'm not through, WE'RE through. We're through that's it." I had never been so angry that his jacket had that many buttons in my life. Things were getting to be quite the spectacle. He was repeating, "We're through" like a crazy person while angrily buttoning the endless number of buttons on his jacket. The small group of Asian people who hadn't spoken English yet at the table behind us were now staring. The black couple across the sitting area had also stopped talking and were holding hands and just openly staring at the two of us. And I just sat there, sipping my coffee. I mean what else would you do in that situation? 

Every time I talked it just seemed to agitate Hickey more and the crazy level just kept kicking it up a notch. Finally he finished buttoning his jacket and he left the Panera in quite the gay huff. That is the last time I try to be a grown up about this kind of stuff. I mean if someone seems crazy I am just going to phase them out....its much less awkward then meeting them and let them be crazy again in public. 

Well back to the drawing board...Maybe the spring will bring me some new sort of romance...Let's hope...

Chau!!