Fuck This! I'm Pathetic

So I spent the evening and the night at a special event honoring a bunch of the graduating nurses....I won a two fairly distinguished awards....I was feeling pretty good about myself for once and then it all came back to reality. I went to the trashy last call bar, dressed in what I thought were clothes that made me look attractive and didn't really get hit on at all.

Then just as I was about to leave one of the guys who is usually someone who throws themselves at me when we are at the gay club showed up with Tiny....and rejected me. Yep I basically threw myself at him and he rejected me.

I made some really serious innuendo about giving a decent blowjob and he told me he had heard from someone at the Harvard business school....I don't ever remember blowing someone from there so either nasty rumors are being spread or I am a far bigger mess than I realized.

I ended up leaving the bar alone and sad. I couldn't even get my sure-thing to make out with me. What the Fuck is so wrong with me? Seriously....I mean I get that he is hopelessly in love with Tiny, but come on....

Whatever, I'm drunk and I'm going to bed.

Peace,

Chau!!!

And Here Comes Another

After a very long and trying week at work....all I want is someone...

I made a phone call to someone who I have hooked up with in the past. Do I think this person is perfect for me? No. Do I think this person is a great lay? No. Do I think this person is particularly supportive in tough situations? No.

But I called them because I knew they would come. Not a doubt in my mind...and so now I wait for them to get here....hmmmmm

If only I could hold out for someone that meant something or be okay with just being alone in times like this.