A Midsummer's Breakdown

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Call DCF I've Been Neglecting You

I don't even know where to begin really. I had so many plans for blogging in January and absolutely none of them came to fruition. 2014 is going to be one hell of a year...I can tell already.

Let me begin by saying that the reason I haven't blogged is not because I have been so inundated by dates or a one particular man that I have completely forgotten that it exists....quite the contrary. I started a second job working inpatient at another hospital in the city and I have barely even had time to think for the past month. Every time I sat down to write it seemed that I would either fall asleep or just have nothing to say. Its the eternal problem with my dating life really...I'm all about the job!

I was sure in trying to come up with a plan for 2014 that this would be the year I would finally get my personal life together. I've actually started going to the gym on a regular basis. I was finally feeling that I had my one job completely under control. I even had my little side projects well managed. Then I added the second job into the mix and everything seemed to shift slightly. I'm pretty sure after February things will probably calm down again and I will feel like I have a manageable workload and I can actually attempt dating like a real person again. Until then it is taking a back seat, per usual.

Well back to the updates and then I will continue to extrapolate on the reasons why I always choose my job and my academic life over dating.

I am still talking to the IndyGinger almost four months after meeting him. The conversations tend to be focused on him and I am okay with that. It's nice to talk to someone who calls me. He generally initiates the conversation whether on Facebook, text, or an actual phone call and I really like that a lot. It's too bad that he lives so far away. It's also too bad that he really does have a lot of self-esteem and depression stuff to overcome. I can only imagine the kind of psychological problems I would face having grown up in Kentucky so the fact that the guy is still standing at the end of everyday is amazing to me.

Unfortunately, the more I talk to the IndyGinger the more I am sure I am using him as a means of not going out and meeting new people. He is just another tool in this commitment phobe's toolbox. I mean there is no need for me to go out and strike up a conversation with someone interesting at the gym if I know I can go home and text a friend about it. I think that the IndyGinger may be using me as much as a tool in the commitment phobe toolbox as I'm using him. I'm sure talking to him everyday for the last week probably is not the best thing in the world to help my dating life. Oh well, for right now I am not going to push it. I'm just going to enjoy the fact that I have a friend who is easy to talk to and who only exists electronically....maybe one day he will get Skype and I'll actually be able to see him face to face.

This past weekend was a big fundraiser for the young gays of Boston so naturally I managed to get myself a free ticket. One of my lesbians called me last minute and insisted I accompany her as it was my chance to meet "Out-Gays-Who-Have-Their-Shit-Together". I went because quite frankly I wasn't doing anything else.

The event was held at the Revere Hotel in Downtown Boston and let me just say "Damn do the Homos know how to throw a fundraiser." There was a bar the minute you walked in and a second one in the giant warehouse like room beyond, there was an aerialist, there were veggie burger sliders, and there was of course a pretty cool DJ. I had a great time between the people I was with, the amount of gin I was consuming, and the music that was playing my Saturday was awesome.

Then as I was walking to pee I saw BRP. I should have known that he would be there as one of the politico-look-at-me-I'm-Important-Gays, but I didn't really come up with any sort of escape plan. Luckily, my lesbians are great and were able to hide me for the entirety of the night from him and any guy that I was not interested in talking to about some mundane chit chat. One guy had the balls the whole night to come talk with me standing among my lesbians and I have to say I wasn't annoyed at all . It was actually a residence director from one of the universities in Boston who I have always thought was cute. It's nice to know that people like that can at least be interested in you and are willing to bear the Birkenstocks to talk to you.

After the fundraiser ended we grabbed our coats and headed to the Liquor Store for a GQB event. I met up with one of my old college roommates in line waiting to get in and we ended up going together with some friends he met at a gay conference at Harvard. I got right into the club because I had a bracelet from the other fundraising event and left my ex-roommate and his new found friends at the door. Once I realized I had made it to the coat check without them I turned around and began trying to figure out where they went. I was walking up a narrow staircase next to a mechanical bull when I practically walked into BRP.

I had been doing so well at avoiding him at the other event it never even occurred to me that he may have transitioned over to this bar along with the rest of the hordes. Before I had even processed what was happening BRP physically lifted me off of the ground and held me in his arms smiling this big cheeky grin saying, "I've missed you." Almost as if it was an instinct my legs wrapped around his body and my arms flew around his neck. He looked up into my eyes and asked for a kiss.

I want everyone to take a minute and think about what this scene looks like. I am in a bar surrounded by a bunch of homos for the GQB night, a bunch of really confused straight people because its GQB night, I have a mechanical bull to my left, I have a line of people in front of me and behind me, and there is a stage to the right of me with two stripper poles, and here I am on the first step of a narrow staircase literally wrapped up in the arms of BRP. I had no other option....I gave him a quick peck on the lips and moved my hands for around his head to his chest and light hit him so as to make the point it was time to let me down because I had paid the troll my toll to cross his bridge. He obliged and I told him I was trying to find my friend and scurried off. I didn't see him the rest of the night.

Really the rest of the night went off without any problems. No problems and no action either....sort of a double edged sword. It was weird though as there were definitely people who appeared to be checking me out but nobody would even come and say hi. Whether that was because they had seen BRP lift me up, were afraid, or I had something stuck in my teeth is something that is still up for debate, but whatever the reason I wasn't totally offended by the result. It's nice to go out with friends and not get hit on sometimes.

I should mention that I did manage to go on one real date in January. I met this guy on OKC of course because I don't tend to meet anyone in person anymore who has the balls to actually ask me out. I think the appropriate nickname for this guy is the FaceBiter.

Allow me to explain: The FaceBiter is one of those guys who really enjoys the feel of facial hair/scruff. He likes the idea so much in fact that he rubbed his face against my 5 o'clock shadow and actually bit my chin or my cheek more than twice throughout the night.

A little more on the FaceBiter. It was actually one of those really easy good first dates. We met at Mike's in Davis Square after I worked all day and he had been in class. He beat me to the restaurant (no shocker there). He went in though and didn't sit down. He simply just waited for me to arrive before we went and got a seat. He is a pretty good catch beyond the face biting stuff. He is probably 6'1", heavier than me but not fat, he is Venezuelan, goes to MIT and works on Internet Policy, and he laughed at everything I said.

I really do enjoy having a sense of humor and making jokes out of everything, particularly those kinds of things which most people don't typically find funny. My brand of humor is a lot like me, either you get it and you love it or you don't get it and find it horribly offensive. He got it and laughed at some things that I didn't even intend to be jokes. We split a pitcher of beer and just talked for almost two hours. There was only one point in the conversation where one of my red flags went up. We were talking about how often/how much alcohol we drank when he told me he has about 20 drinks/week. In the moment I nodded and shook my head, but I was immediately comparing him to the alcoholic patients I treat in my work. 20 drinks/week is a pretty good amount of booze for one person every week and it is definitely over the recommended number of drinks per week.

In typical fashion after a semi good first date (by semi-good I mean no disclosure of past felonies) I invited him back to my place for another beer. Sitting on my couch enjoying a Blue Moon he made a move and actually started kissing me. We made out on the couch for a good 15 minutes until I finally made the suggestion to move to my bedroom. This was both because I thought it would be more comfortable for us, but it was also so my Fag Hag's straight boyfriend could walk about the house without having to see to guys make out. It's not that he is homophobic, but I am his first real foray into having a gay friend and we are still a little early in the game for him to be watching two dudes make out on the couch in front of him. I'll get him there, no worries, but all in time.

FaceBiter and I didn't have sex. We continued to hook up for about 2 hours, at first just playing around and then trading blowjobs. It was at this point where I found two more strikes against the FaceBiter. The first was that his dick was just not really what I am looking for in a man. It's not that his dick is to small, but rather its the proportions. It's on the short side and thick with a weirdly shaped shaft. The other strike against the FaceBiter was his use of his teeth during a blowjob.

The blowjob issue is rather amusing. FaceBiter loves to give head and LOVES to deep throat but every time my dick actually got into his throat it seemed like my dick would suddenly feel a bunch of little teeth around the base of the shaft. It was really disappointing. I was hoping that it would be one of his best assets....but I was wrong.

He claims that he is vers but judging on our interaction that boy is a sub bottom. He really wanted me to fuck him but luckily I was able to keep that in check and insist that he wait until next time. We played around. He came then he worked me over until I did and then we both passed out in my bed. The next morning I woke him up, we showered, and I dropped him off at home. He was going away the next weekend and wanted to know if he could see me again before that.....I wasn't able to make any plans but we have tentative plans for dinner this weekend. We'll see if that happens although I am less than optimistic since I have a bit of work to catch up on.

And with that I think everyone is caught up and I am now sufficiently tired enough to go to bed.

I promise another update very soon....

Until Next Time!
Chau!!

Grave Robbing Just In Time For Halloween

If you haven't already guessed the newest guy is a little bit older than me.... I was born in the year 1990....He was not....He was born in 1975. This means that I am 23 and he is 37. 

According to the standard age limit equation for the Lower Limit used by most people in America (Half your Age + 7) I am a little too young for him. His lower limit is 25.5. However, when you use the standard age limit equation for the Upper Limit (Double your Age - 7) He is within the acceptable age range for me. SO the math says this whole situation is really only half fucked up so its fine. Nevertheless, I'm going to call this guy Geri for a few reasons. One I like the simplicity of the name it matches the simplicity of his name in real life too. Two its short for geriatric...which is not really funny because 37 is not that old, but its a little amusing because technically he is closer in age to my mother than he is to me.

But let's get down to the nitty gritty shall we. Geri is a tall bald white guy. He has blue eyes, a scruffy beard, a nice smile, and a pretty good dresser. 

Geri asked me out initially while I was working and I totally blew him off. But he was persistent and asked me out a second time and I....once again blew him off understanding that we had a pretty big age gap between the two of us. I don't really think he understood how young I was in comparison. Then he asked me out a third time directly for dinner or drinks and my first date rule kicked in. Prior to his third invitation he had never actually asked me out on a date so I felt no obligation to actually go. Then he did and I remembered that I have my one rule for dating....if someone has the balls to ask you out then you owe them at least a first date. 

I agreed to a date, but not to dinner because I didn't want to commit myself to more than I could handle. Geri lives in Dorchester and I now live on the other side of the city so we decided we would meet halfway for both of us at Fajitas and Ritas downtown and split a pitcher of margaritas with the understand that if things went well we could always get another pitcher or some food. 

I was of course running late for the date because of the stupid Red Line, but I texted ahead and let him know the situation. He understood and I as I walked through the door and saw him sitting at the bar I realized it was the first time he had ever seen me not in scrubs and I immediately regretted procrastinating buying a new untattered/unfrayed pair of jeans. 

We decided pretty quickly to sit at one of the tables and get some appetizers because I hadn't eaten all day because I got called in to the office to deal with a patient. Everything went really well so we got a second pitcher of margaritas and split a few more nachos, just cheese and guac (I'm sure people thought we were ridiculous but they were delicious). Toward the end of the meal he admitted the dirty secret that he smoked cigarettes and asked if I would join him while he had a post food cigarette. I agreed and walked with him outside. While standing outside he revealed that he was half French Canadian and while this meant he could speak fluent French it also meant that he smoked at least his fair share of cigarettes. We went back into the restaurant after his cigarette and on the way in he grabbed my ass...which for some reason I didn't really find creepy, it way more playful than anything. I paid because I felt bad that I was late. 

Geri then offered to go to a place in the North End for another drink. I was a little hesitant but ultimately I was having a really good time. We ended up going to the sister restaurant of the one he works at in the Back Bay. It was super swanky. We had a few drinks, a group of people bought us some shots just for being friendly, we ordered some food, and then we started talking with the young married couple next to us. They were asking all sorts of benign questions and then asked how long we had been together and where we had met. We both sort of froze and looked at each other and laughed while we almost simultaneously said, "Well its our first date." 

Despite the rather obvious faux pax the conversation continued about different Boston goings-on, basic national news coverage, and favorite travel destinations. It was in the latter part of the conversation that Geri made a sort of offhand comment that he would love to take me to Montreal with him. I smiled and pretended like it hadn't happened, but I simply cannot overlook the fact that it was our first date and he was already planning a couples trip to Canada. After a two minute recovery period I got my wits back and quickly changed the subject to the giant rock sitting on the ring finger of the young bride. 

This time Geri paid the bill and we headed out. I was planning on trying to get back to Davis Square before the T closed when I realized that it was not even 9:30 yet. We had covered a lot of ground not because the date was bad but because we had met at a little over 5p. Geri suggested we go to the Alley for a drink. I feigned resistance, but ultimately we went to the Alley for a beer. I was the youngest person there by at least 20 years if you don't count my date. I needed to pee and I headed to the bathroom....luckily Geri followed me in and picked the urinal right beside me. I am still unsure if it was because he needed to pee or if it was because he wanted to make sure that nothing happened to me in the bathroom of the sketchy old gay bar he wanted to go to. 

Finally we left the Alley and started to head back toward the T and he offered to have me come back to his place. I was hesistant and I think its because he knew I didn't want to just go back and fuck him so he said, "No just come back, we won't have sex we will just watch a movie and cuddle and maybe kiss." How could I say no to that right?

On our way to the T we passed a young homeless man holding a change sign. Geri actually stopped brought the guy into Subway and bought him a sandwich, a cookie, and a drink and bought cookies for each of us too. Then Geri without batting an eye said, "Yea and you give him your card so you can help him." I was the most turned I had been in probably a year at the moment in the middle of the Subway. 

We ended up back at his place and it really was a pretty uneventful sleepover. I blew him and he blew me and then we went to bed and passed out in each other's arms. The next morning I got at least 4 text messages and two calls from work and not once did he have anything to negative to say about it at all. Finally around 12 I left and headed home. I probably got home around 1 with a detour or two to grab a coffee on the way back to the apartment where all of my roomies were waiting for the stories from the night before. Mid-Storytelling my phone rang, it was Geri calling to make sure that I made it home safely. I was FLOORED!! He is just such a grown up and I am so ready to fake it! But I digress...we have another date coming up tomorrow so I will update you all then. 

Chau!!